As I crumbled slowly on the inside, Luten seemed to shatter right in front of everyone. The once stoic, reserved, and perfect prince had disappeared and instead he was replaced with an unruly, overindulgent prince in a similar manner to Zuko. His chilling, haughty glances had been replaced with the pleasant drunken glaze of a stupor. He no longer cared what anyone else thought. It was too late.
It wasn't long before I heard of his various philanderings. Scandalous tales of various young women under the fruit trees began to emerge and I did all I could to maintain a straight face to my court.
It was when I made a rare appearance to the Princess's daffodil gardens when I had to deal with the harshness of reality.
The large parasol above my head shaded most of my view but it was impossible to not see my husband gaily laughing in the arms of another young woman. Ayanna hurried to shield my view but it was too late. I already saw the rare happiness in his gaze.
The mistress was a pretty young thing, just introduced into court. With wide doe eyes of a steely grey, I couldn't help but notice her physical similarity to Calantha.
Though I no longer felt sadness, I still felt humiliation and anger. With all the court already watching me due to my recent miscarriage, I did not need any more pitying attention.
The young thing was not even from a wealthy powerful family. I felt as if I were constantly getting humiliated by these unworthy commoners.
"Lady Alila of the Li family is here to see you, your highness."
"Let her in."
She looked petrified as most children do when they are about to be punished. Her silky ebony pair had been smoothly parted and styled to make her look even more youthful. Yet, I could see a hardness on her childlike face and I rightly assumed that she had been the mistress to several powerful men before she met Luten. I almost pitied her for she was still so very young of age.
"Your highness…" she stuttered in front of my presence.
"Did I ask you to speak? Where in the world did you get your etiquette training? No one knows the proper court manner anymore and it's been but a few short years since I was trained. How strange it is…I was your age two years ago. Only two years of marriage," I spoke pleasantly with a condescending smile.
The poor girl looked absolutely peaked.
"Alila…a very pretty name. Did you know my great great grandmother's name was Alila. She was one of the greatest Duchesses of Thalassa. Renown for her elegance and beauty. Everybody wanted to be like her…like how everyone wants to be me," I circled around her as I said this and I saw her head lower, even more petrified.
"Duchess Alila…she was from one of the most noble families, the Duke of Quidon was her father and her mother was from the highly decorated Zezin family. Now, do you think that just because you share the same pretty name you can even begin to compete with her? With her great great granddaughter?" I stopped and looked down at her with a disgusted expression.
"I'm sure your peasant mother chose that name in hopes that it would bring you great fortune…I've heard how the commoners like to name their children elaborate names unworthy of their status in hopes of good luck, superstitious crap…Lady Alila, do you think that you can compete with me?" I smiled at her.
Alila was fuming on the inside, I could tell. She had been a favorite to many powerful men and it gave her a foolish sense of protection.
"My mother was not a peasant, your highness…she was the daughter of merchant nobleman, like your mother was," she spoke rather defiantly.
I laughed at her audacity then with a pleasant smile, I smacked her across the face. She screamed for I had burned her pretty little face with a great slash of scarlet flames.
"Do you see that? Can you do that, Lady Alila? Can you say that you can firebend like a master? Can you say that you had kings and emperors attend your christening? Can you say that you are the heiress to the wealthiest, most powerful family in the Fire Nation? Can you say that you own the largest dukedom in the world? Can you say that you are me? No, you can't…you cannot even begin to be compared to me, Lady Alila. You are nothing and have nothing, while I have everything."
"Yes, your highness, but you will never have his love. You will never be loved like I am!" she had the audacity to speak in that manner to me.
"Go now and ask who will take your side and defend you. Go, go and see who will still love you," I sadly replied.
Alila angrily rose and ran to find her lovers. No one came to her side as I had expected. Though, I was marred by scandal, no one dared to cross me still.
"Do you see Alila…when you have nothing, no one cares about you. Everybody's love is fleeting; there is no eternal love…it doesn't exist. Nothing is eternal…" I mused to myself as I pricked myself with the sewing needle.
Alila disappeared after that but many more came after her. After the first half dozen, I ceased to attempt to stop these girls for Luten cast them off just as quickly. I could hardly believe his actions.
We had both fallen so greatly; I knew that this masquerade couldn't go on for much longer. I couldn't go on much longer…neither could he.