Release

They climbed up the stairs hand in hand, giving each other shy looks, giddy with anticipation. As soon as they crossed the door the apartment felt heavy, and they were slow to warm up to each other, respectful of what was going to happen between them. They didn't turn on the lights, the gleam of the city at dusk being soft and warm as candlelight. They took each other's hands and kissed lightly, their bodies not touching; it was just their hands caressing slowly. They intertwined their fingers and they kissed a little deeper, and for a while their tongues and lips were the whole focus. At some point Rory sighed, the touch of Jess' lips too long missed. He lifted his hand and caressed her face. She traced her way up his arms and grabbed them tight, but it didn't seem tight enough, so she drew closer to him. Jess gasped when he felt her clothes barely brushing his. He moved his hand away from her face and she whimpered when she lost his touch, but he had to do it. He took Rory's coat off and then his. They dropped on the floor with a thud, already forgotten. Since they had completely lost contact they felt shy again, their heaviest layer of protection removed. He grabbed her hand and kissed her softly. He guided her to his room but they resumed their kissing as they had done before, standing up beside the bed, afraid of moving too fast too soon. Jess placed his hand on the back of her neck and drew her in to deepen his kiss. She grabbed his hips and pulled him close and he reciprocated grinding softly, sideways, against her. She felt him hard, and whimpered, and he smiled against her lips before licking them and brushing his tongue against hers. She retraced the path back to his arms but then kept on, feeling the muscles on his chest down to his stomach. He lowered his head and kissed her neck softly until she moaned, and then opened the top button of her shirt to kiss her collarbone. He felt her shudder when he undid that button, so he moved away for the time being, he didn't want to rush things. But she too wanted to get rid of clothes and started undoing his shirt, anxious to touch his bare skin. He stopped all action to be able to watch her do it. She did it slowly but with a sure hand, her nimble fingers brushing his skin fleetingly, until she reached the final button. His shirt lay half opened and she felt the revealed space with one hand, top to bottom, until she reached the path of hair that went beyond his pants. He kissed her grabbing a fistful of her hair, then, both her hands resting on his chest, feeling him breath heavily. She broke the kiss after a short while so she could move on discovering him, his skin burning her hand. She brushed his shirt past his shoulders and let it fall on the floor, letting out a ragged breath. For a moment he felt exposed, but then saw Rory's face in awe, and then she felt her fingers tracing his muscles, his nipples, his stomach, as if he was trying to read him. He wanted more badly, he wanted to be able to see and feel her skin with his hands as she was doing, and then press against her delicate skin, but he went about it differently and sunk slowly to his knees to overcome the awkwardest moment quickly, getting rid of that uncomfortable piece of clothing that was pants. He looked up before proceeding to make sure she was OK with it. She gave him an encouraging smile while taking her sneakers off. He undid the button and zipper of her pants and took them off, and then her socks, and quickly stood up again, because he didn't want to be so far from her mouth so soon. He encircled his arms around her to kiss her, careful so as not to brush his rough jeans against her soft skin. He kissed her neck and smelled her deeply, and stood there while his hand traveled up her waist and over her shirt. He wanted to feel Rory's breasts in every possible way before getting rid of all the layers. He closed his eyes against her neck and his hand against her breast. She was wearing a padless bra and he loved the feeling, because beneath her clothes he could feel her nipple hardening. He needed to get rid of the shirt. He undid her buttons less gracefully that she had done, but was surprised when he took her shirt off, because he didn't settle his look in her simple black cotton bra and panties, trying to make out what was behind them. No, his gaze settled in her stomach, in her tiny little bump. He felt her shudder and looked up. She looked afraid.

"Ror…" He said her name but was saying something else entirely.

She hesitated. "Say… say something. Do you hate it?"

At first he didn't understand the question – it didn't belong there, in the perfect bubble they were creating. But then it dawned on him that she had probably been afraid, not only about everything else that was happening between them, but about how he would react in that exact moment. "Can… I?"

She didn't understand the question, as if it was too perfect for her imperfect self, as if it couldn't be. So she forgot about words and their meaning and just focused on him, who was gazing at her longingly. She was terrified, but she nodded. His hand traveled down between her breasts until he reached her belly, and then caressed it softly, and it didn't make sense, because she felt suddenly happy about everything, and nothing, not even the pregnancy, was left out. She started crying and he hushed her, grabbing her face with both hands, kissing her everywhere, licking her tears, but that only made her cry more. He was not put out by her tears; on the contrary, that was Rory being whole, with her desire and her fears, and she was letting herself go for him to hold her. He wanted it all – he wanted her doubts to wipe them, her fears to shoo them, and he wanted to kiss her belly so she would know that he considered that part of her too, that it was fine if they didn't talk about what it would happen for a while, but that he hadn't erased that space from what Rory was, that he still wanted to know her all. He moved away from her face and sat down on the bed. He grabbed her hips and pulled her to him. She kept on crying, but he didn't mind – he knew she would be fine when she knew, and so he rubbed his face against her belly, and kissed it, and caressed, and then he felt her hands on his hair, gently stroking him, and he didn't hear tears anymore. He looked up and saw her look at him in a way he had never seen.

"You're so beautiful, Ror."

She smiled, glowing, and touched his face, beckoning him up. She kissed him hard and he embraced her strongly, wanting to be as close as possible, but his pants were still in the way so he undid his buttons and got rid of them, and of the sneakers and the socks too. He then went back to their embrace, letting his hardness brush her forcefully now that there was no rough fabric in the way, and she embraced him hard too, wanting to feel every inch of skin available to her. He caressed her face and broke the kiss slowly, grabbed her hand and motioned her to lie on the bed. He then lay down beside her and kissed her while caressing her body from her legs up to her face.

They slowly adjusted their positions until they were on the middle of the bed. They never broke their kiss, holding each other close and grinding against each other, wanting more. Jess rolled Rory so she would be on her back, his body flush on her side, and started feeling her breasts on top of her bra. He was torn between looking how he grabbed them and looking at her, so he hoisted himself up, resting his weight on his forearm. He kissed her while he kept massaging her breast, and she moaned, she never stopped moaning, it was amazing that he could do that to her. She was making him so hard that he was having trouble not ripping her underwear off and entering her with abandon, but he remembered how he wanted to make it good for her, how he wanted to spoil her for everyone else, so he focused. He saw she was closing her legs by reflex, needing some friction at her core, and he would not deny her pushing things forward, so he firmly lowered both her bra straps, setting her breasts free.

She gasped at the abrupt progress and grabbed his hair. He looked at her hungrily and let out a moan while grinding his erection against her leg. He felt so hard, she wanted to see him fully, to indulge on how overwhelming he was, because he was, he had his boxers on but she knew he had not lied to her. Her brain shut though because he started licking and sucking her breasts, and it felt so good she wanted him to bite them, and as if he had read her mind, he did, and she squeezed her insides and swore she could have come like that, but then she didn't need to think anymore, because she felt his hand traveling down and settling on top of her panties, cradling her mound.

He could not believe that he was letting go of Rory's breasts, he would need to come back at some stage and lick them and pinch them more, but he felt her squishing and knew he needed to bring his attention to her center. He placed his hand over her panties, grabbing her whole mound. He first pressed her like that, so it would be her own flesh rubbing against her nerves. He kept his hand closed and started rubbing with slow circular motions, and he knew he was onto something good because she was exploding into a thousand different reactions – her legs were jerky, she shut her eyes with the hottest face he had ever seen, her left hand went softly to her mouth as if she wanted to suppress a moan but had forgotten why it got there, and her right hand caressed herself all the way up to her breast and grabbed it, as if missing his last touch. He couldn't take it, he couldn't take such a pretty bundle of feedback and not want to be everywhere at the same time, biting those raspberry lips, swollen by the pumping of her own blood, licking that stray hand so it would forget to try to stifle her moans. But he couldn't stop, he was irrevocably connected to her center, so he got on his knees without breaking the connection and grabbed the breast that was not receiving any attention. Her eyes opened at the touch and looked at him, as if pleading for more. She got rid of her bra and he grabbed her breast harder, and then pinched her nipple softly. She started whispering his name incoherently – and he hadn't even gotten into her panties yet. He took the plunge and stopped his rubbing motion to take the panties off slowly. Fuck, there was Rory naked. He felt joy, it was like an exquisite, delicate machine laid off in front of him, and he wanted to figure out all the quirks and buttons. He settled for rubbing her nub softly first while he figured out what to do next, but the pull was too strong and he couldn't resist putting a finger inside her. She cried and clutched around him, and he softly moved his finger while his thumb caressed her nub. She was so wet it was sinful.

She needed to stop him, she didn't want to come yet. She wanted him inside her, not focusing on her but letting himself go. She didn't give a damn about coming, which she would do soon, or about how long it took, she just wanted them joined, to feel his weight, to hear him panting close to her ear. She wanted him to come. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him to her.

"Stop… it's too good."

He looked confused but then he seemed to understand, he had to – after all, they both wanted the same from each other. He brought himself up and started taking his underwear off, but she stopped him and pushed him softly on the bed to lie on his back. He looked worried.

"I'm too far gone, Ror."

She nodded, breathing raggedly. "OK. I'll just take them off, I swear."

He watched her toy delicately with the waistband of his boxers, and then caress him softly over the fabric. He twitched, and he prayed she didn't tease him anymore. She finally took them off, slowly. She seemed enthralled by him, but somehow afraid to touch him. At last she run a finger across his length and he couldn't take it anymore. His voice came out low and husky.

"Come here."

She did, laying beside him. He turned so they were both on their sides, face to face. Their bodies weren't touching except for his throbbing erection. He caressed her face.

"Can I hurt it?"

She shook her head.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, softly. "I need you, Jess."

He also needed her. He hovered over her and placed himself between her legs. He kept his weight on his forearm and sank to kiss her, brushing her center with the motion, causing both to moan. He caressed her face. He wanted to tell her what it meant to him to be there, but somehow words didn't belong in that moment. She moved her hips upwards, as if asking him in. He lowered his gaze and positioned himself at her entrance. He looked back at her, and only when he saw her looking into his eyes he entered her with a slow thrust.

He took it slow, at first. He wanted to feel her all around him, to caress her body, to kiss her, to look into her eyes. She was so wet and warm that it was killing him, he couldn't get enough, and he reveled in each moment. But then she started making it hard for him to be slow and gentle – she was grabbing his hips strongly, whimpering, moving her legs up so he could go deeper, her body asking for more. It was madness.

She wanted him to let go, to possess her, to abandon himself, to stop restraining everything. He caught up eventually and started plunging deeper, and she started crying – it was too much to take, it was all too powerful, and his name came out incoherent between short breaths. He didn't stop. He didn't stop thrusting, harder and harder each time.

He felt her starting to clench around him and he thought he couldn't take it, so he pressed on, he was getting there too. It was beautiful. The air stilled and she quit moaning, barely panting, her limbs twitching, as if her core was sucking all her strength. But he wanted her to have more, so he brought a hand between them and started rubbing her nerves while entering her with the same strength.

It was an attack on all her senses. She was coming already when she felt him rub her, and at first it seemed a crazy thing to do, he was mad to attempt that, to be so ambitious. She thought she couldn't take it, she couldn't take that much. She cried and clutch his shoulders, but he didn't stop, he only plunged deeper. He started groaning in her ear, and she knew he was finally letting go, so she let herself go too. She took the plunge and accepted everything – the depth of her feelings, his unrestrained desire, his strength, his boldness, his beauty – and got a twofold release.

She arched her back underneath him and moaned long and loudly, and only then he came warm and hard inside her.