I'll be true, I'll be useful,

I'll be cavalier...I'll be yours my dear.

And I'll belong to you

If you'll just let me through.

This is easy as lovers go,

So don't complicate it by hesitating.

And this is wonderful as loving goes,

This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?

"As Lovers Go"
~Dashboard Confessional~

"Shut up, Edward. I've wanted to do this since the moment I first saw you standing across the street from me. It's all I ever think about. I just want you. I need you."

I felt his warm hands pause over my naked back, just before he bit down on the finger that I had laid against his lips; he pulled me into his chest and rolled until he was looking down at me. His tongue swirled over the tip of my finger before his teeth let go and his lips seared mine.

I shut my eyes and just felt. My hands drifted in delight over his back, gripping the hem of his shirt and pulled at the fabric until his lips released mine. His head bowed, his shoulders flexed and arched as he stretched out of the offending clothing. I threw it across the room and heard it land in a soft puddle on the floor.

Edward's hands cradled my face, his weight resting on his forearms.

His lips and breath skimmed over my chin to my lips.

"This is probably the most inappropriate time to say this," his voice was heavy and gravely. "but god, Bella, I love you."

His words whispered to a place deep inside of me that I didn't even know was there. All these years I'd thought I'd known what it was to be in love and lose, when really, I had never been there before. I didn't want this to end. I didn't want him to go. To leave. I wanted this more than anything I had ever desired in my life. I wanted Edward and it hit me like a bus on a busy downtown street.

I swallowed back the lump in the my throat and nodded. I couldn't open my mouth, I wasn't about to ruin this with tears and sobs. Instead, I locked my hands behind his neck and pulled him into my lips. Tasting him. Enjoying the soft textures and warmth of his tongue as it moved slowly against my own. Savoring the sounds that came from deep inside his chest. The vibration it caused against my breasts.

I poured everything I had into that kiss; my want for him, physically and emotionally, my heart and my soul. I put it all out there for him. Because whether I was ready to say it out loud or not, I belonged with him, to him, and no matter what I did to try to starve that part of me, he was feeding it, bringing it to life.

His lips left mine aching and swollen. He did a slow dance with tongue and teeth over my throat. My toes curled and my spine arched when his warm breath washed over my breast.

I moaned some nonsensical sounds and wove my fingers deep into his thick mess of hair, pulling him closer to my skin. He merely teased at my overly sensitized skin and skimmed over my ribs, his tongue dipped into the hollow of my belly causing my legs to squeeze around his torso.

He looked up at me, a roguish grin tipping his masculine features and felt my entire body flush when he hooked my panties with his fingers and slowly dragged them down my thighs. His lips sampled every tender and intimate curve of my body as he made his way down to my ankles.

Moonlight shone through the windows and washed his bare skin in blue light. He stood at the end of the bed slowly working each button on the fly of his jeans. He never took his eyes from my own and when his pants fell from his trim waist, I realized he was a commando kind of guy. I licked my lips and raised myself up on my elbows to see him better. Staying put, he reached one long, toned arm out to a drawer next to the bed and pulled a condom from a box.

"You don't need that." God I wanted to feel him. Just Edward. Nothing between us.

He stilled for a moment.

"You're sure?"

I nodded.

"I'm positive."

He tossed the foil packet to the ground and crawled back up the bed, between my parted legs. I felt him press against me and I wrapped my legs around his waist in welcome.

"Look at me, Bella." He knotted our hands on either side of my face, joined, they sunk deep into the pillow that my head was resting on. I gazed into his piercing, nearly black, eyes as he entered me.

"Oh god." It was perfect. He was perfect. He filled me physically and along with it came the emotional fulfillment. It was just, right.

His movements were slow, steady, driving me closer and closer to to an edge I didn't ever want to fall off of.

As if reading my mind, Edward rocked his hips into me with force. Pressing further into me.

"Go, Bella, there will be more. I promise, sweetheart. Fuck." He sucked in a sharp breath.

I met his every stroke with my own and when I came, my heels dug deep into his backside and his name left my lips in sacred oath. His hands clenched tightly to mine, his face buried in my neck when he came apart inside me. With me.

I heard him mumble against my shoulder.

"My Bella. I love you."

xOx

I flexed my fingers and opened my eyes when I realized I was caressing a very firm and very gorgeous, bare ass.

Bella was dead to the world, her breathing soft and even, crazy amounts of hair spilled over her cheek and around her pillow.

Soft, grey, late morning light came into the room and I brushed my fingers across the ink on her back, her skin smooth like fine silk.

I closed my eyes and pored over memories from the previous night. We'd come together four times before tumbling exhausted into bed at almost five a.m. Bella was expressive and emotional and fuck she could do things to me with her sweet little body that I never knew existed. She gave like a saint and took like a woman starving. It was the best sex of my life. So why then, was I was feeling guilty. I didn't pressure her for it. I didn't beg or take anything she wasn't willing to give.

I worried about her though. She was in a very fragile place. I wasn't sure that this wouldn't put her over and under. I should have had more control over myself, shouldn't have let it go this far. Not after her breakdown.

Fuck.

I scrubbed my hands over my face and took a deep breath. Was she going to hate me when she finally woke up? Would she run away from me? What in the fuck had I done?

I felt her waking. Her long legs moved against mine under the sheet, her arm lifted and draped across my stomach. God that I didn't love this woman. What I wouldn't do for her. Do to her. My dick jumped under the cool sheet when her sleepy voice called my name.

"Edward."

"Hmmm?" I rested my arm along hers and used my other to pull her closer to me. "You okay, sweetheart?"

She nodded into my shoulder. Her hair tickling my arm and neck.

"Best ever."

I nodded, closed my eyes and tried to be still for a moment. Trying to decide if I should apologize for my lack of decorum in her time of need, or to just keep my mouth shut. The part of me that wanted to keep my fat mouth shut also wanted to roll on top of her and slide home, listen to her moan and feel her hot and tight around my dick.

"Edward. What's wrong?" I felt her shift, raise up. She was staring down at me. I could feel her sweet gaze burning into my closed lids. She pushed my chest lightly with soft fingertips.

"Bella." I breathed, opening my eyes. She looked so sweet, so loved and so welcoming. "What happened last night, I was wrong. I shouldn't have, we shouldn't have, jumped into bed. I should have comforted you in another wayyoooph" I choked off the rest of my sentence when a little fist connected with my gut.

"Dammit, Bella. What the hell?" I groaned and rubbed my stomach.

"Shut up, Edward. Just shut up. You are not going to ruin this for me. You are not allowed to feel guilty because we did what we've both wanted to do since we first saw each other again." Her eyes were fire and her tone was lethal. The lady meant business and I'd fucked up.

"You can sit here and wallow in your unreasonable guilt." She sat up, the sheet falling away from her body. "But I am going to go enjoy my morning-after with a cup of coffee on the porch." She twisted on the bed, angling her back to me as she stretched her arms above her head, legs dangling over the edge of the bed. The lean lines of arms melted into the arch of her back, soft curves rounded into her sweet ass. She took one last look at me over her shoulder before leaving my bed and walking out.

"Idiot. You fucking asshole." I shoved a pillow over my face to muffle a frustrated growl.

Don't let her get too far. Go after her you dumbass.

I lept out of bed, grabbed a pair of old grey sweats from my bag and stumbled as I tried to put them on while running down the hall. I felt my feet slip going down the stairs and had to steady myself. Would do no good to bust my ass now.

When I rounded the corner to the kitchen, my breath caught in my chest. She was gorgeous, almost painfully beautiful. She had her back to me, wearing nothing more than panties and a tshirt. Her legs were crossed, elbows on the counter top, she had a pen in her hand and looked to be doodling on a small scrap paper. Her hair was a piled mess at the top of her head and I wanted more than anything to reach out and unclip it. To watch the mess tumble around her face and across her shoulders.

I stepped up behind her and silently rested my hands on her hips. I felt her jump a little and then heard a soft breathy sigh. I leaned into the soft hollow of her neck, pressing my lips over the porcelain white skin there.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I whispered at her ear. "I do want you. A lot." As if to prove a point, I pulled her ass back against the raging hard on that was tenting my pants. "But it's more than just physical, Bella. I want all of you. Understand?"

I watched as goose bumps broke out and ran up and down her arms and licked my lips when her pulse kicked up at the side of throat.

She turned slowly in my arms to face me, her hands skimmed over my arms and came to rest on either side of my face.

"Yes." Her voice was quiet, soft as she rose up on her toes, pulling me into her lips.

….

We floated side by side in the water in separate kayaks. We'd been out paddling for about an hour and decided to head back toward the cabin. The clouds were looking ominous and I didn't particularly care to be stuck in the middle of the lake in an ice cold downpour.

We had been at the cabin for three days, the thought of heading home tomorrow was weighing heavily on us both. I didn't want her going back to her apartment. I wanted her with me. All mine. I was going to be lonely without her in my bed. Without her company over breakfast and her laughter when I chased her down the hall with a garter snake I had found by the front door. I was going to miss having her sitting on the opposite end of the couch, not even touching me, her nose buried in a book while I watched tv quietly. Life with Bella just felt right.

As soon as it was appropriate, I would ask her to move in with me. Or move in together somewhere new. She could choose. I didn't care, so long as she was there.

xOx

I unlocked the door and it swung slowly open. Home. I pushed into the hall and dropped my bag on the floor and my purse and keys on the entry table. I turned and smiled at Edward.

"Tomorrow. Dinner. Any place you want. I'll even cook for you if you don't want to go out. Bring your work with you, I don't mind." His eyes searched mine briefly before he leaned in and pulled me into a searing kiss.

Ask him to stay. Tell him to stay. Tell him you want him to be here.

My mind pushed and prodded at me. I ignored my mind though. Dammit. I'm a grown ass woman. I've lived alone for a long time. Other than Riley or a college dorm. Get your shit straight, Bella. Say goodnight and go shower and go to bed. Mentally, I wiped my hands of the issue.

We parted, breathless and I smiled, wrapping my arms around his warm body, breathing his scent in.

Tell him you're going to miss him.

Shut up.

"Kay. I'll see you tomorrow after work." Regretfully I let go of him and walked him to the door. He leaned in and kissed my forehead quickly before turning and walking quickly down the hall to the elevator.

I wandered off to shower, alone. I put on my pajamas and jumped into bed, alone. I laid and stared at the dark ceiling, alone. It was too quiet. I thumped my pillow and closed my eyes. I tensed and relaxed my muscles from head to toe, one at a time. Usually this helped me release stress and zone out. Not tonight. No siree. Tonight I was going to have to fight for sleep.

"Jake. Not coming in today. I will work from home and email everything to you. Didn't sleep well. Going back to bed. I love you." I made some obnoxious kissing noises and hung up on the voice mail, rolled over and passed back out until almost three in the afternoon.

….

It had been two weeks since we'd come back from the cabin. Every night was the same as the one before. The first week I flat out refused to admit I was lonely. And not just lonely, I missed Edward. The second week, I finally came to grips with the fact that I wanted more, that perhaps I was ready for more. It wasn't like this with Riley. I never fretted or wondered what he was thinking.

I knew that Edward wanted me. He told me that he loved me, on more than one occasion. At night, when I laid in bed alone, when my chest was at its achiest, when the world was quiet and sleepy, that's when my heart told me all the things that my mind hadn't registered. I was in love with Edward.

Which is how I ended up at his front door at two a.m. on a brisk Wednesday morning. I knocked a handful of times and then straight up pounded.

"What the hell?" His voice was cranky and irritated and the door flung wide open. He looked down at me and I immediately saw the panic.

"Bella. Are you okay? Is everything okay?"

"No. No, I'm not okay." I twisted my fingers together, staring at my shoes.

"Sweetheart?" He took my hand to pull me inside but I shook my head.

Do it. Do it. Say it.

I swallowed, looking up into his wide green eyes.

"I just came here to tell you.. I mean, I wanted to tell you that I miss you. I miss you at night when I'm in bed. I miss you when I'm at home making dinner for myself. Or when I do the laundry or watch a movie." I felt the hot prick of tears rim my eyes.

"Shhhhh. Bella. Baby, it's okay." He stroked a gentle hand over my cheek.

"I love you, Edward." He stared blankly into my eyes, causing me to bite nervously at my tongue. "Am I too late?"

He hooked an arm around my waist and lifted me into his apartment, closing and locking the door behind us. He set me back on my feet and brought his hands to my face, holding me captive.

"Do you know how long I've waited for you? I love you, Bella. Forever."

Our lips touched and I was finally where I was always meant to be.

And I said "I've gotta be honest

I've been waiting for you all my life."

For so long I thought I was asylum bound,

But just seeing you makes me think twice.

And being with you here makes me sane,

I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side.

You've got wits... you've got looks,

You've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?

"As Lovers Go"
~Dashboard Confessional~

Well, we have reached the end. Our sweet little lovers have finally reached the point of HEA. There will be an epilogue shortly and perhaps another one or two OS's when I feel the time is right. This story was meant to focus on finding love. Being able to give and receive that love unconditionally.
I'm very thankful for all of the wonderful comments and caring notes you all have left for me over the last twenty one chapters. It has been my extreme pleasure to bring you these perfectly flawed characters. I hope you all love them as much as I do.

A very extra special thank you to Mustlovertp. I seriously don't think I would have finished this without you, girl. You've been a constant support and cheer leader through it all. Thank you so very much. I don't think I could ever repay the kindness you've shown me.