Chapter 21Sesshomaru was positive. Positive that the red-haired anomaly in front of him did not just say what he thought she said. Positive that her innocent stare back at him was proof of that. Positive that everything he'd worked for and everything he now held sacred was not in danger.
But he was also pretty positive that Jaken would die shortly from an outburst of his frustration. These past few days had been too much. Why was Jaken never around when his master so desperately needed to give someone a good, solid kick to their overly-bulbous head?
The taiyoukai, not really thinking about what he was doing, demon instincts taking over, was in front of the miko faster than either of them could realize it. His protective, single-minded, savage inner-demon was fighting for release. Eyes flickering from red to gold and back again, Sesshomaru had her held by the neck of her kimono within an instant, "What. Did. You. Say?"
She squirmed uncomfortably in his grasp, blue eyes flashing a glare in his direction, "Let go of me, Sesshomaru."
Desperate, fast-paced adrenaline fired through his veins. His youkai nature clawed at his insides, feeling the need to identify this supposed threat it's master had detected. Feeling the need to protect, to kill.
Sesshomaru snarled, "The spider on his back. Explain. Now."
"Sesshomaru," Anji's voice turned gentle, complacent. Ever so gently, she placed her hands over the claws that held her collar. The taiyoukai felt a gentle hum below his skin as she released the tiniest amounts of purifying energy into his system. The primal urge inside him abated a bit, "Please. Put me down."
Put her...down?
It was only then, with sanity slowly creeping back into his mind along with her unique, pure light, that Sesshomaru remembered just how much taller he was compared to this female, and that in hoisting her by her collar to look straight in his eyes, he'd actually lifted her over a foot off the ground. He saw the quiet concentration and, to his chagrin, slight pain in her eyes as the kimono stretched across her healing wounds, and her feet dangled, searching for purchase on solid ground they could not reach.
He immediately wrapped his other arm around her waist and drew her to his chest, so to support her, and then gently lowered her to the waiting floor. The room was silent as she smiled serenely up at him.
Anji let out a relieved breath, hands still wrapped around his numb arms, "Thank God. I almost hurt you."
Almost hurt you…
The taiyoukai clenched his fist and gritted his teeth, head bowed "I sincerely apologize. I reacted… poorly to the news you gave, and-"
"Psh! I'm fine!" she waved her hand through the air. "I was just worried 'bout you is all. Midoriko sensed the rising youkai energy. She was fighting me to get out. Bitch was ready to incinerate you."
Her words did nothing to assuage his inner turmoil. His inner youkai hadn't been drawn out like that in quite sometime, and never quite that violently. He'd no idea why even the implication of-
"Naraku," Inuyasha's voice broke through his misty thoughts. Sesshomaru locked eyes with his brother, who'd drawn Kagome close, hand on her belly. "How the fu….I mean... how can he even exist?"
"He can't," Miroku growled from his corner, staring at his right hand with hard eyes. "You and your descendants will be cursed, so long as I live," he muttered, then glanced back at all of them. "Naraku can't be alive, or else the wind tunnel would have grown back. Anji must be mistaken, or we have jumped to conclusions."
Anji looked over toward a distraught Kagome, "Your brother never mentioned a Naraku." She turned back to the monk, "But I'm not mistaken about the spider. It was like some kind of growth on his back, all twisted and exposed flesh. That's really the only thing I can identify him by. He had almost gotten me at the time. I wasn't focused on what he looked like."
"Well, we know exactly what he looks like," Inuyasha growled. "And no matter what form that bastard took, he always had a spider etched on his back."
Kagome, one hand resting on her husband's arm and another hovering over where her child grew, began to shake, "I thought this was over." She whispered. "We fought for so long. I knew we'd always face challenges but…" She looked over to Anji, a desperate, pleading shine in her eyes. "I thought this was over."
The red-headed miko, it seemed, couldn't bear to meet the other woman's eyes. Her head lowered, she barely got out, "I know. I'm sorry," before she backed up to slide slowly down the nearest wall. She sat there, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It's likely my appearance here awakened the dark side of the jewel. Once it sensed my presence, it wanted to find me. And it looks like the form it's taken will cause distress for all of you. I regret that, more than anything."
Sesshomaru stared at her, only to find that her eyes were now forcing their pure emotions into his, trying to impress upon him the full impact of what she was saying.
"I don't think I've stressed it enough to you folks," she began. "So I'm going to say it again. I am half of the Shikon No Tama in human form. Midoriko's made that very clear to me from day one. I am not being possessed by the Jewel, it's not hidden somewhere deep inside my body. I. Am. It. The pure side of the Shikon, the years upon years of power and effort that bitch of a priestess put into it, is what supports my life force. By that definition, I'm not even technically alive. I'm a walking atom bomb. I probably don't even have a soul, it's all the jewel. This power lay dormant for years until it could get back to this time period through the convoluted ways of a stupid human girl." She sighed, finally taking her gaze away from the taiyoukai's and leveling it at the floor. "I want you all to keep this in mind, because if this time comes, and my life has to end so that they Jewel can be destroyed, I don't want you putting yourselves in danger to try and protect me. There's nothing salvageable here, not even a soul. I'm not worth it."
The Shikon Miko stood and stared once more at Sesshomaru. It seemed, this time, that she almost looked through him. "Please remember that." She strode over to the door. "I'm tired, and if we're heading out in a few days I need to polish off my healing. Excuse me."
As she closed the door behind her, Sesshomaru couldn't help but feel vaguely responsible for… something. The bleak outlook with which she held herself and her future… it didn't sit well with him. What was worse, she seemed utterly accepting of it, as if she had no desire to see if there was something better. How she remained so upbeat and yet simultaneously grim had his heart stirring, reaching.
Everyone else in the dining room was silent, until the Lady Mother so tactfully broke through the quiet, "I'm sorry, but I am completely lost here. Could someone please fill me in? Here I thought we were just going to coo over babies…"
"Sesshomaru?" The taiyoukai turned to look over his shoulder at his sister-in-law. Kagome gazed back at him with eyes that always saw too much. Understood too much. He suspected they had been conditioned to do so as they slowly analyzed his half-brother over the years. She told him more silently through those eyes than she ever could have otherwise, so much so that it only took one spoken word to spur him into action, "Go."
He did so. Picking himself off the floor and not bothering to excuse his departure, Sesshomaru glided through the halls, following a scent that he'd grown remarkably accustomed to the past week. Because he and Kagome had shared an understanding of what just happened, and though neither of them could explain it with words, they had silently agreed. He was the only one.
The only one to do what? Comfort the obviously disturbed girl? Assure her of things he had no more knowledge of than she? Try to tell her that she belonged in a world that had her created by and for the selfish gain of a force none of them could hope to control? Sesshomaru knew, even as he neared her bedroom door, that he could do none of this. At least not without lying to her and being ashamed of himself.
All he knew is that he was the only one. Because he knew more than the rest. Because they'd shared a week of fighting and camaraderie and soul-bearing (mostly fighting, but whatever). Because he was not her father, brother, mate, or lover, but the only one in this time who could hope to come close. He was the only one.
And he had an obligation to honor the position that he'd earned. That's what Kagome had been trying to tell him. What they had both understood. That when you have the guts to actually give a shit about someone, you can't back down later. Not when they're having a bad day, not when you're having a bad day, and not when they tell you to stop caring. That's when you have to try the hardest.
Somehow, he thought as he slid the door open, it was only Kagome who could have taught him that lesson.
So when Anji told him to get out of her bedroom, he ignored her. When she threatened to electrocute him into oblivion, he sat calmly at the foot of her bed. When she inquired as to why-the-fuck-didn't-he-get-it-that-she-didn't-want-him-there, he replied that he wanted to be there. At her question of why-the-fuck-would-you-want-to-be-here, his reply was simple.
"Because you are worth it."
She no longer asked foul-mouthed questions, but he continued anyway, "Anyone who can survive what you have, and care as much as you do about strangers, and make so many people care about them, is worth it."
She snorted, "I'm a useless pawn in an eternal chess game between the basic forces of good and evil. I am in no way worth it."
He met her furious glare evenly, "You must be. I do not care about those who are not worth it."
She was livid, and would remain so the rest of the night. She stomped around her room for a bit before getting herself ready for bed, taking care to slam, knock, and bang anything and everything she could along the way. He lost count as to how many times she "wanted him outta here," and was "going to fry his pasty demonic butt." Finally, Anji settled herself into her bed on the farthest side away from where he'd been sitting all this time, and fell quickly into a much needed sleep.
Sesshomaru would sit at the corner of her bed well into the night, and to his surprise found her sleep to be peaceful and uninterrupted by the dreams he'd been privy to on multiple occasions. This, for a reason still foreign to him, made him a quiet sort of happy. He then realized that he'd never had anyone for whom he would do any of this for. Not like this, with no responsibility for their safety or well-being or familial ties or fatherly affection egging him onward. He'd never been content to sit at someone's bedside, just to assure them that someone was there. This must be was a friend feels like, the thought came upon him suddenly. Unselfish. A desire to give parts of myself away.
He'd never had a friend before. Not like this. He'd never had someone who'd asked him to perform his kata, or listened even when he had undesirable things to say, or accepted him wholly, because if he never changed it would be alright. He doubted many people, even those who considered themselves normal folk - because he certainly was not - often had friends like this.
Maybe it was the people who needed it most, maybe they were the ones who found this. Sesshomaru thought of his brother, and the changes that befell him because of Kagome. They had been friends for a very long time. They still were.
They were very lucky to be able to build a romantic relationship upon that, he thought, golden eyes flashing upwards through the dark, and falling upon a -finally! - peacefully sleeping woman. The moonlight bounced off of her red hair and pale skin, giving her an unearthly glow. The blankets lay strewn about, hastily thrown on in her earlier frustration.
Sesshomaru stood, walked around the bed, and placed her in a more secure placed on the center of the bed. His adjustment was met with a mumbled, "Dickhead taiyoukai." from the sleeping form below him. He fought back a chuckle, covered her gently, and went to go find his own bed, where he was sure he would find a good night's sleep.
After all that had been revealed today, he was sure he would need it.
There we go! Some development on Sess's part, I think. Who knew Anji'd be the stubborn one out of the two of them? Thank you so much for your support! I have answered a couple questions on the review board, so if you have any confusion or questions about the story, I'll do my best to answer them! R&R, and till next time!