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Italics - special emphasis, inner monologue, voices inside Cloud's head
Bold - huge, usually important, emphasis, past words by Zack or spoken memories
Horizontal Line - means a break, or switch, in action or point of view
"Don't worry. Thanks to you, my salary is better."
ShinRa Cadet.
The phantom, the voice inside my head, guided me down the strange hallways he said should be familiar to me. It does feel like I had traversed these crowded halls before, yet I get this eerie sensation of not belonging. As if the numerous times of seeing these cream walls, nearly stumbling into the cluttered bodies, fleeing from threats of bullies, and trying to hope I wouldn't be late for class, had not given me even a glimmer of hope at fitting in this place. ShinRa Headquarters. A place I never called home. But why wouldn't people look up to me? A First Class SOLDIER. The position everyone dreamed of attaining to the depths of their souls. Well if you ignored the ones unlucky enough to catch the eye of the Turks., or, more specifically, Tseng. However, back to the point, I remembered overwhelmed looks—"Hey, isn't that SOLDIER! I wanna be one of them when I grow up!"—and people, young and old, requesting various missions from me. Why did I join SOLDIER?
Cloud. Are you paying attention? This is important.
My blue eyes turned to the muscularly built man directing me to some unknown destination. A nod was my answer as he offered me a smile, before pulling me to peer around the corner. Down the hallway stood the almost exact mirror image of Zack, except he wore a purple colored uniform with typical brown boots and shoulder pads. The mark of a second class SOLDIER. I blinked up at him, curious as to what this had to do with me. He doesn't response, and instead leads me to his look-a-like twin. No one could see us, we were like ghosts to his strange memory realm, so we had freedom to move without interfering with any sort of natural balance.
Since you don't necessarily remember me, I guess you don't recall when you asked to take combat lessons from me, or what happened during those lessons, right?
The bewildered look in my eyes was all he needed to confirm the truth of his words. I felt bad for the hints of disappointment on his face. A sigh slipped past his lips after a moment, and slowly his hands rested on my shoulders to shift my body to face the blue clad cadet fidgeting in front of his twin. Normal blue eyes, devoid of Mako, hidden underneath a mess of blond spikes greeted my shocked gaze. Is that me? The clone of me, looking utterly uncomfortable, muttered something about needing to train harder, and suddenly my thoughts flashed to Nibelheim on a starry night where promises were made. A promise to return home as a First Class SOLDIER like the ones I saw in the magazines. I want to be like Sephiroth. Perhaps I could even meet him one day. Rough shaking dispersed the image into nothingness, my bright blue hues clearing to view the worried look Zack was sending me. Gracing him with a weak smile, I complied to his previous wish for me to closely listen to the conversation playing out before us.
When our twins padded into the double doors nearby I immediately followed them without Zack saying a word, though he trailed in after me. The impulse to stalk them was something I could only sum up as mere curiosity, the usual compelling force that ruled me, but the presented behind those doors nearly destroyed the illusions I had of being powerful enough to be praised by newcomers. Beaten, struggling to stand, was my twin. Crouched next to his sword, determined not to give up yet lacking the strength to do something so simply as standing. Towered over him, beaming down at him with a friendly grin, was Zack's look-a-like. Didn't even break a sweat. Am I so weak? How did I accumulate the capabilities I have now? Didn't I make First Class?
You've grown since then, but I bet you still can't beat me. Not the same cadet I remembered. A hero now, you lived up to the promise you made me. In spite of that, I must apologize. I blame myself, my desire to protect you even after I died, which caused you to scramble your true memories up with my own.
Scramble my memories? For some reason I couldn't believe him, it just couldn't be possible. Everyone started somewhere, first a cadet then you work your way into becoming a First Class. He recollected the me from the beginning, not the final product of ShinRa's training programs. Violently shaking my head in regards to his words, I quickly pivoted on the balls of my feet in my desire to leave this memory behind. So cowardly. I couldn't help it, and as I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other, I had the sudden urge to glance up. Above laid the private V.I.P box where high ranked individuals observed the cadets, to pick out the ones with the greatest abilities and the best skills. Perhaps it was a trick, a hopes I didn't know I had, but I could swear feline Mako-infused green eyes were staring down at the sparing match.
Though you never achieved First Class, we both thought there was something special about you. An innocent heart, we were happy ShinRa failed to taint.
Sephiroth's unwavering observation kindled a fire in my veins, butterflies in my stomach, but I tore my gaze away the moment his words sunk in. My dream...I failed to make First Class? Trembles, making me completely disoriented, overtook my body and dragged me to the floor. Blue orbs, wide like saucers, became hazy as my fingers buried in my crazy spikes to grip at my head. Lies! These had to be lies! I yelled over and over for someway of escaping this, someway of arguing against him. None of my attempts worked, because the sole dark nightmare that appeared in retort was the flames, his flames.
Yes, Cloud. On that day, my mission alongside Sephiroth, I witnessed your hometown burn by his hands. I tried to fathom why he suddenly changed, I tried to stop him, but I wasn't strong enough to beat the amazing General you looked up to. So I ordered you to shoulder the weight of my sword and finish him in my place. You were just a cadet, enraged by the destruction and Tifa's tears, yet you managed to hold your own until he jumped into the Mako in the reactor.
He walked to my side, grabbed my hand, dropping a picture into my palm. A sad smile tugged at his lips as he drew back again. The picture, taken right before we headed to the reactor, but instead of me standing on the end after Tifa and Sephiroth there stood the crossed arm goofy best friend I ever had. Zack Fair. This, no every, memory I thought spoke truths about who I truly am in a split second became another meaningless lie. An illusion birthed to ease my pain. Who am I Zack?
Cloud Strife. Cadet. Hometown: Nibelheim. Secret admirer of the famous General Sephiroth. Hojo's failed experiment from the time we got captured and taken to ShinRa Mansion. Broken out of that hellhole by yours truly, and brought to the cliffs outside Midgar, until I died leaving you to enter the metropolis alone with the drive to become a mercenary.
Z-Zack. What do I do?
Trust in me, believe everything I have told you, and continue the journey you have set out to accomplish. I will be with you, don't forget. I know you will be a hero, you never lost the special spark we saw in you all those years ago. Besides, I know Sephiroth needs you. I can show you where to go from here, but you must be the one to save him.
O-Okay. My head and my heart, both hurt from the stress of confusion given rebirth out of the flames, like a phoenix, into revelation. Regardless of my past skepticism, my best friend always had my trust, but he also knew the magic word: Sephiroth. Blindly going anywhere because of him alone was the kind of person I had became upon first glance. Memories realigned, back in their rightful place, I felt more at ease and definitely less lost in the world.
His strangely warm arms embrace me, lips kissing away the tears I didn't know had began to cascade down my cheeks, as he graced me with the kindhearted smile I had secretly missed seeing on his face. You'll be alright now. I heard him whisper next to my ear, before our surroundings started to fade into a bright white scenery of drowning nothingness. A sudden familiar girlish giggle behind me, forced me to jerk slightly out of his grip to seize the sight of the pink flower girl in my mind.
Aeris, he is ready...
Author's Comment -
: Wow, bet you weren't expecting me to update so soon. Ehe. Couldn't help it, I got my groove back. Plus, I have to get this show on the road. Cloud went through a time of neglect with this fanfic, because I love writing for Chaos and Cid. Quite entertaining. Anyway, he needs the deep fangirl passion in rightful position again, so the focus is on him again. I will return to them, the raging demon and the unfortunate pilot, in due time. Please bare with me. On another note, I enjoy interaction between Cloud and Zack. Mm. Perhaps next chapter I shall throw Sephiroth into the mixture. Arigato, faithful readers! Feel free to send me a review. Thanks! :