Paige
I'm glad to see the indoor pool arena isn't crowded. Two pools, two hot tubs a sauna, many showers, the smell of chlorine everywhere. Not forget to mention that it's crazy hot in here. I recongize some of the girls of Team USA who I will be competing against, fully aware more can show up I keep my distance from them to not get distracted more to say, if Madison would be here. I had forgot about the fact she could be here too, Emily clearly not. It was the first thing she asked me this morning if she would be here. Seeing her again was wonderful, we fell in small talk everything was so naturally. We fell a sleep talking and laughing cuddled up against each other. Right now I have to prove myself towards everyone. I need air, the deck feeling uneven under my feet. I get a nasty look from the girl in line 3, I brush it off and go in full concentration mode. I doubted for a second to look over to Emily, I was happy that I did she calmed me. She hold my gaze, I winked at her hoping she got my message. "This one's for you." Praying I deliver now. I'm not sure I can do it, but I have to take it now. I stared at the water for a full minute until we had fifteen seconds left. I got ready, spacing out once again. I draw a deep breath in, happy to smell the chlorine. It's between the chlorine, the walls and me now.
Emily
Paige is in line 2 waiting for the start sign in fifteen seconds. My hearts beating faster as everyone got silent waiting for the start sign. Oh my god. My heart pounds like crazy, I draw in long breaths following every movement in line 2. I suck in air. My stomach rolls. Jeezus McCullers, what are you doing to me. "Come On Paige!" A tall guy behind me was cheering. I turned around wanting to know if he knew her. "I live at the complex where she stays at when she's here. She's one of the best right now." He was beaming with pride, didn't look at me while speaking his eyes on line 2. "How do you know Paige?" He asked me while my eyes were scanning Paige. I only realize now how I know her. "She's my wife." I never had a bigger smile than I do now. That winner over their, she's my wife. I couldn't stop laughing, it was the best thing ever. It's the pride I feel when she reaches the wall first. She's my wife. Somehow I still see this an amazing experience, it feels so good at times I forget this is something not solid. Everyone erupted in cheers, she won she was first. I tried to steady myself, I felt ecstatic. Our eyes met once again, I feel the heat coming off her. Not only because of the effort she just made, another kind of heat too. Her eyes turned into diamonds, I'm suddenly aware that people were making their way out. I got in a room backstage, waiting for her to come out. My heart was still skipping beats, I jumped on her as soon she catched my eye. I placed quick kisses all over her face making her giggle. "My baby won." I mumbled against her skin. She put me down, we were standing very close. I still feel her warm skin underneath my fingertips. My breasts are practically pressed against hers. I feared I said something wrong, said the wrong word. All of the sudden her hands are in my air, on my face, on my lower back, the kiss doing no good for her heat. I don't know what just happened, both still breathing hard as a space comes between us. She got called and left the room. My eyes relenting to open, my breathing was still coming in.
I expected her to brag during her interviews, she didn't she was blushing instead with every compliment that they threw her way. She's shy and impressed herself that she's that good. So I will brag for her at every chance I get. It was a happy place, a colorfull room where we were celebrating. She wraps an arm around me and doesn't let go. She gets close to me and says in my ear, "Would you like to spend more time here? Away from everything you and me here?" Right now I fail at thinking clear when it comes to my future. "You've got a chance to qualify for the Olympics, nothing is going to jeopardize that." "I'm not worried about that." She sounded very confident. "You should." I surprised myself how cold that sounded, her arm was still wrapped around me only more loose than a second ago. Two more days. The little hope she has might been taken away right now. She's wearing skinny jeans, her favourite whit V-neck top and a jeans vest. Even in these clothes she looks like a real athlete. "Thank you for being here, Em." I remember looking in the stands in High School, seeing my friends and occasionally my mother cheering. They were always yelling at me and ready to pick me up when I dissapointed myself. It just makes me happy to see my girl in the pool, no bad memories holding me back as I feared. Things were relatively quiet, we managed to get away early. We were in California and I hadn't got the chance yet to see the ocean, we took the car and drove to the beach watching the waves. "What about that sleeping on the beach? We didn't do it." "Sleeping on the beach is fine with me." I smiled. I didn't care if we would do it or not, the fact she remembers is once again the greatest thing. Santa Monica is hot and sticky, on the beach it's ideal. Laying here right now, makes me not wanting to go home but of course I have to. Going back home will be poor torture, how can you decide now the rest of your future? Let alone someone elses future. Paiges hands are tucked under my legs, a very broad smile on her face.
Paige
"Tell me something about yourself." She suddenly asked, I was caught off guard. "What?" "Anything about you." I was lost in thoughts searching something embarassing still okay to share. "Well when I first got facebook I had a crush on this girl, I wanted to creep on her profile well I thought I typed her name to find her profile. When I hit the button it seemed my new status was her name." "Oh god you dumbass!" Emily rolled her eyes laughing. "Yeah pretty stuipid. Tell me about something you did because of a crush." The little smile faltered, I added only if you want to. She assured me it was okay. "I thought Alison had a crush on me, later it seemed she was just trying to get back at me because I was weak and a doll for her to play with. She was always flirting with guys and making me feel good at the same time. She did mean things that were wrong, I never got over her. She broke my heart and I broke hers when I made it clear I was done with her, eventually she became my first girlfriend and than ..". "She died." Emily simply nodded. "I'm sorry. It's not the kind of story you asked for." "Your life is the story I want to hear, Em." She nudged me in my side, saying how cheesy I am. "You've experienced loss many times and yet you're the strongest person I know. So many things to live for, maybe if you agree with me we can start again together." By saying something like that I was putting my heart on the frontline. I promised myself not to say anything, she knows what I think, I simply can't handle not knowing anymore. "I want to know that it's okay to believe, so I can let my guard down." Her voice sounded so fragile. "I don't want to be afraid of myself no more." My heart sank, I was hearing things like "I thought I was ready, it's clear I'm not." It's a voice inside my head, one I try to shake out. "What we did was so different but the strength of believe was the same." Instantly as the sentence ended my heart was infused with doubts and uncertainty. Last time I couldn't hold on any longer we had this talk on the balcony of our place right now I don't have the energy to start something like that no more. We were going back to Philly in the morning and Saturday I'll know. Will we stay married or are we divorcing. Not everyone can accept being single, I am more of a relationship kinda girl.
Paige
"Hello Paige, Emily come in. It's nice to see you both. Let's skip the talking and go straight to the main question. Who is willing to go first?" My gaze dropped to my shoes, my palms getting sweaty. "Well there's no room for interpretation here." I still refused to look up, I saw a box open as Emily continued. "You don't." She miled at me as she said those two words, I wanted to look up and smile back but the box was stealing my attention. "But I do." The box was been laid down, ready for something to put inside of the box. "I want to get divorced." As soon she said her final words everything went blank in front of my eyes, my heart was being ripped out of my chest and put in the box. I heard it close as Emily spoke her final words to me. "The good news is, nothing can happen to your heart now. It's safe." Everything went black.
I drummed my fingers on the armrest as the plane landed. I undid my seatbelt before we were allowed to, I brushed the sleep out of my eyes. I couldn't wait to get a cab, I rushed through the airport we made the first in line to pick up our luggage. I had to keep my mind clear, it was just a dream it was just a dream. I've been repeating those words the entire way home. I had to surpress a sigh, I can make it one more day.