CHAPTER 21

The Christmas holidays arrived with a thick blanket of soft white snow, glittering decorations, carols and pine trees in the Great Hall. A lull settled over Hogwarts as most of the students went home to their families over the holidays, including Ginny and Luna. Hermione and Ron had gone to Paris for a Christmas vacation. Nessa's picture was decorated with tinsel – much to Severus's disapproval.

"It looks absurd," he said to Harry.

"Christmas is the time of absurdities, among other things," Harry said cheerfully, adjusting the tinsel. Nessa, in order to remain perfectly diplomatic, reverted to the simple solution of pretending to be fast asleep. Her beady eyes, which, like most snakes, possessed transparent protective scales instead of eyelids, stared blankly into emptiness. When she winked, she accomplished this action by narrowing her eye to a slit.

Inside the hall of Severus's and Harry's quarters, the Christmas tree was glittering near the hearth. Harry had bought a whole lot of decorations and a very pretty crib in Hogsmeade. He had also managed to talk Severus into helping him to decorate the tree on Christmas Eve.

"This tree is for both of us, so we should both decorate it," Harry pointed out.

"It is a waste of my hall space," Severus grumbled.

"Grinch," Harry quipped. "Will you please hold this garland?"

Severus's view was suddenly obscured by a furry silvery boa which was dumped around his shoulders by his impatient spouse.

"This is atrocious," he said snidely.

"So is your festive behaviour," Harry replied, fastening candleholders to the branches. Severus decided to be silent. Neither of them had had much opportunity to decorate Christmas trees in the past. It was the very first time for Severus that he was going to celebrate Christmas with someone in his own quarters. He usually whiled the Christmas holidays away in a state of complete cynicism, more interested in the annual suicide rates around the festive season than in the decidedly clichéd image of family warmth and affection. His parents had never bothered about Christmas or exchanging gifts, and, least of all, about exchanging affection. He didn't know what it was like to decorate a tree with someone else. Harry had naturally been excluded from all festive activities by the Dursleys until he had started spending Christmases with the Weasleys and decorating the tree with them. He had a family in the Weasleys, and he regarded Severus, too, as family. He was quite used to Severus's waspishness and short temper and was learning to appreciate the finer qualities of the man, which, ironically enough, Severus was anxious to hide, regarding them as weaknesses.

"Okay, it's ready," Harry said as he levitated the angel onto the very tip of the tree.

The two wizards stood back and admired their work.

"Quite passable," Severus said.

Harry smiled at him.

"Now all we need is to dress you up as Santa Claus."

Severus leant towards to him.

"I would like to see you try," he murmured, gazing into the sparkling green eyes, finding it impossible to believe that Harry Potter was actually teasing him – and that he, sullen Severus Snape, did not mind. Harry was thoroughly exploring his playful and mischievous side, even bringing snowballs from the grounds after decorating the tree and threatening to throw them at Severus. This lead to the casting of a Waterproof Spell on their quarters (but not on their persons) and to a snowball fight, Severus gazing at Harry with narrowed eyes, intent on not missing any of his moves. Kingsley Shackebolt, however, had trained Harry outstandingly, and Harry employed his Duelling skills on this occasion, on the lookout for a range of non-verbal spells with which Severus tried to distract him or with which he attempted to manoeuvre the snowballs around. In the end, both of them were wet with snow in their robes and hair.

"I won," Harry announced.

"You didn't! Your snowball crumbled in mid-air," Severus said cuttingly.

"It got you anyway."

"Mine hit you at the same time."

"It didn't, yours got me just a second after mine landed on your chest!" Harry said.

"Harry Potter, it did not do anything of the sort."

Harry burst out laughing at their mutual stubbornness. It occurred to Severus that laughter in the dungeons was a rarity – and that it sounded very nice. He was still deciding whether he should explore or drive away this thought when Harry cast a Drying Spell on both of them and went back to his bedroom. He returned with his sketching pad and began to draw a couple of the decorations which were glittering on the tree. Severus withdrew quietly. Seeing Harry sketch seemed strangely intimate to him, something that he did not wish to intrude on, even though Harry did not seem to mind at all if Severus was nearby.

On Christmas day, Harry and Severus breakfasted together in their quarters. Dinner would be had with the staff and the few students who were staying at Hogwarts. Harry had been pleasantly surprised by Dobby (for whom he had bought a lot of socks) announcing that he and Severus would be having breakfast in the hall instead of each one eating his meal in the seclusion of his own room. Dressed in last year's Weasley jumper, Harry and Severus shared the handsome glass and steel table in the hall. After Severus's thorough ignoring of his birthday, Harry did not expect anything from his husband for Christmas. He was happy enough that Severus had helped him decorate the tree and, moreover, had sacrificed his very highly valued privacy in order to eat at the same table with Harry. He had dispatched Hedwig and some school owls with gifts for his friends and all the people who were close to him. Severus, for his part, searched Harry's face for the expectant look so many people had when they were wondering about what gifts were waiting for them underneath the tree. The young man looked happy, as if he was not longing for anything more than what he already had. When breakfast was over, Severus got up from the table and nodded at the tree.

"You have got gifts, Harry," he said impassively.

It's already a gift that you're calling me Harry, Severus, Harry thought with an inward grin.

"So do you – let's unpack Mrs Weasley's gifts together," he said, handing Severus a fat parcel; Molly Weasley considered Severus as a family member because of his marriage to Harry and had sent him several packets with homemade delicacies and, much to Harry's amusement, a black jumper with a green S on the front.

"Aren't you going to wear it?" Harry asked. Severus looked at the jumper, then at Harry, and back again. He was wearing trousers and a shirt instead of robes. He discarded the latter and pulled on the jumper, appreciating Molly's gesture of kindness rather than the actual gift.

"See, now we suit," Harry laughed, who had just unpacked his new Weasley jumper.

"On a symbolic level," Severus commented dryly, "now unwrap your other gifts."

"No, I'll unwrap mine afterwards-"

"Unwrap yours first," Severus repeated, waiting until Harry had finished with all his gifts. He noticed that Harry carefully placed the cards and notes which came along with them in a small pile, saving them up for a second reading.

"This is for you," he said, leaving the sofa and pressing a square package into Harry's hands.

Harry stared at him.

"You…got me something?" Then, hastily, as if afraid that he had sounded rude: "It is really…sweet of you, Severus, and I know that you don't have much time."

"Open it, see if you like it and thank me afterwards if it meets your needs," Severus said curtly. Harry unpacked the gift while Severus watched him closely. An exquisite large box made out of polished dark wood emerged; it was a paint box, containing various kinds of pencils, ranging from paintbrushes to graphite sticks and crayons, both of the muggle and the wizarding type. Harry knew that it must have been expensive and taken a good deal of thought and searching.

Harry looked into Severus's black eyes. There was a funny lump in his throat.

"I…It's wonderful," he said at last when he managed to find his voice. He put his arms around Severus's neck and gave him a firm hug. Severus did not react for a moment. Then, awkwardly, in a manner which indicated that he was not used to either receiving or giving hugs, he embraced Harry, noting how warm the young wizard was and how perfectly he fit in his arms.

"Thank you," Harry said, drawing back and reddening, running his palm across the lid. His eyes were shining.

"You're welcome. I felt that it would be useful since you show promise in the domain of sketching and drawing," Severus answered a bit stiffly, "and I discussed various types of paint boxes with your art teacher."

"I got something for you, too," Harry said timidly, handing him a package.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"That is kind of you," he said, as if he did not quite know what to say.

"Open it," Harry smiled, gaining courage from Severus's surprise at both the hug and his gift. He watched Severus unwrap it as keenly as Severus had watched Harry. The habitual mask of harshness or blankness dropped from Severus's face as he unfolded the beautiful dark-green travelling cloak. It was embroidered with a silver pattern around the hem.

"Uh, I hope you like it," Harry said, "I had it commissioned for you and measured your other cloak to give to the seamstress. You said that your other cloak was falling apart."

Severus didn't answer immediately; he was still absorbed in the cloak, touching the material reverently and feasting his eyes upon it. Finally, he looked up.

"Thank you very much, Harry," he said softly. He seemed to hesitate; then he stretched out his hand and gave Harry a small pat on the cheek. He rose to his feet and wrapped the cloak around his tall figure, draping the hood over his head.

"Wow! It looks great!" Harry exclaimed. "Does it fit well?"

Severus took Harry's hand, making him stand up too. To Harry's astonishment, Severus led Harry into his bedroom and to the full-length mirror of his cupboard. Harry was delighted. Severus drew back his hood. He looked striking with his black hair tumbling over his shoulders and down the cloak.

"It is beautiful," he whispered. Harry went crimson.

Severus took his hand again and they returned to the hall. They separated as they sat down on the sofa.

"It was like the day I bought my wand," Severus told him. "It was one of the few happy days I can remember."

"I feel the same way about your gift," Harry said. "Merry Christmas, Severus."

"Merry Christmas, Harry."

Harry inaugurated his new paint box that very evening after dinner, sitting on the sofa and gazing at Severus, who was reading.

Severus was Lupin's age, in the full flower of adulthood. Suffering and life's harshness had hardened his features. Now, however, his face was relaxed and looked more its age. The long dark hair was loose, falling freely over his shoulders and back. The proud lines of his nose and high cheekbones reflected the forceful will behind his large black eyes. The eyebrows were fine and slender. Harry knew how much Severus could express with the slightest raising of only one eyebrow. He was not handsome, but Harry nevertheless liked the sight of his face and thought him attractive. He could not imagine him in any other way. He looked at the full dark eyes again.

"Why are you staring at me?" Severus asked abruptly, suddenly turning his face.

"I like looking at you," Harry said without thinking. Severus's slender eyebrows climbed up his forehead, and he stared at Harry, who went very red.

"Indeed?"

Was there a way to describe how he liked watching the firelight flicker over Severus's face, or that, very simply, Severus's face was becoming something important to him?

"Would you allow me to sketch you?" Harry asked.

Severus raised his eyebrows again.

"You may keep the sketch afterwards, if you wish."

"If you think that I make an appropriate drawing subject…"

"I do. May I draw you now?"

Severus's mouth quirked slightly.

"Do I need to strike a pose?"

"No, you've just got to be…natural. Reading…Or just sitting. Well…without moving around too much."

"In that case – go ahead," Severus said languidly, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

Harry went to fetch his drawing materials, already thinking of the best angle from which to draw Severus. He chose a graphite pencil, fetched a large sheet of special paper and a broad piece of smooth cardboard to serve as a base.

He returned and sat down at the table, which gave him a perfect view of Severus's face and figure. The setting for the interplay between light and shadow was ideal.

Soon, he was as absorbed in his drawing as Severus was, or seemed, in his reading. There was no sound except for the occasional rustle when Severus turned a page and the soft scratching of Harry's pencil. Harry chewed at his lip as he traced Severus's long hair, trying to give it as much of a soft velvety texture as his pencil and non-professional skill would allow. At last, he was finished with the general sketch and ready to start with the little details, adding a line here and there, fine-tuning the shading, emphasising the curves of Severus's mouth and neck, making the lowered eyelid more shadowy. He leant back, smiling. Severus looked up.

"Are you done?" he asked.

"Yes."

"May I indulge in narcissistic admiration?"

The dry request made Harry laugh.

"Yes, of course."

Severus rose gracefully and approached Harry and the drawing. He examined it for a few minutes without comment.

"May I keep it?" he said at last.

Harry nodded, pleased. He wrote his initials and the date in the left-hand bottom corner of the sketch.

"Thank you," Severus said, taking the picture in his slender hands.

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