CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
"With all due respect Dr. Seibert, I hope this meeting will be a short one," Sheldon said, settling into a chair. "My to-do list is riddled with a long list of matters, all urgent."
"But this matter supersedes them all," Dr. Siebert said, rather seriously. "Have a seat."
Then it dawned on Sheldon: this was the meeting.
"We ask for total and complete honesty in regards to the professional lives of our faculty and staff at this university."
"And you have mine," Sheldon said.
"Then you should easily be able to explain this," he said. He lifted a few pages that were stapled together and slid them over to Sheldon. Sheldon scanned the papers, reading hurriedly, and certain passages jumped out: "June 13, 1993," "Galveston, Texas," "Mary Cooper—mother," "storage permits."
Dr. Siebert took the stack, squinted at the pages, then pointed to a particular spot. "Read that."
"Attempted illegal acquisition of yellow cake uranium," Sheldon read. He looked up and shrugged. "So?"
"So," Dr. Seibert explained, "this little incident may cost you your visa."
Leonard burst into Sheldon's office and shut the door behind him. Sheldon lifted his head and looked at Leonard. Leonard was glaring back at him.
"If you are here to make my life difficult I'm afraid you've arrived too late," Sheldon said, turning his attention back to his computer.
Leonard leaned forward, whispering loudly. "Ever since we got back from Washington, DC, something's been different with you. First, you were happy on the plane ride home, then you were actually smiling at your Sloppy Joe that day in the cafeteria, and finally you missed dinner last night."
Sheldon returned, nonplussed, to his work. "I would ask you how that random list of items is connected—if I cared."
"It depends," Leonard answered to the question Sheldon didn't ask. "Why is Lise-Marie calling you at home?" he asked pointedly.
Sheldon head snapped back to his friend's direction. "Why that is any of your business?" he replied defensively.
"So you don't deny it," Leonard said.
"How would you have even the foggiest idea who calls me and where?"
Leonard produced a crumpled slip of paper. "I saw this number in your caller ID last night under the name 'Unknown' and recognized that the area code was from Washington, DC. I normally wouldn't have paid it any attention, except you've been so weird lately."
"Weird is not bad, Leonard," he said. "Weird is what distinguishes the great from the mundane."
Leonard ignored the comment. "A quick Google search showed that this number is registered under the Swiss Embassy. I put two and two together and realized… you're hiding something."
"I hope that you have a theory to go with that rather bland discovery," Sheldon replied.
"When a man is sneaky about a woman at work, one of two things are happening: he's either having an affair or… well he's usually having an affair."
The accusation pushed Sheldon from his chair. "How dare you even suggest such a thing?"
"I know you're not having an affair… are you?"
"Of course not!"
"Then what the hell is going on?"
Sheldon's eyes were darting around, and he looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. His reaction only encouraged Leonard further. He drew closer, leading with his finger.
"There is something going on."
"There is nothing going on," Sheldon said, returning to his seat and then typing with a little too much gusto.
"Then who were you with last night?" Leonard pleaded. Sheldon didn't answer. "And don't give me that crap about being by yourself. A theorist can work in a janitor's closet. You'd never stay at the office that late if you weren't with someone."
Sheldon pulled his lips into a straight line. "I am under the strictest orders not to divulge the nature of my business with the University."
"With the University?" Leonard repeated, shocked. "This has to do with the University?"
Sheldon sighed at the slip. "I can't have this conversation. I consider it terminated."
Leonard looked at the door and considered leaving, then back at Sheldon, who was fidgeting with a pencil; his eye was twitching. Leonard didn't want to miss this opportunity while he had it. He had to think fast.
"Well then I guess the rumors are true," he said.
Sheldon looked up. "Which rumors?"
"The ones that say you're going bald."
"Going bald?" Sheldon said, appalled.
"Yeah," Leonard said, nodding. "Why else would you be spending so much time with the Swiss heiress?"
"I'm not spending so much time with anyone," Sheldon said. "And I see no connection between her and these baseless lies about the condition of my follicles."
"So you mean to tell me you don't know that Lise-Marie's father is a famous baldness doctor. Yeah, he's the guy behind Fogaine. It's the knock-off of Rogaine. He made a fortune in Europe." He wanted to laugh, but bit the inside of his jaw. He had to sell it. He had to sell it.
Sheldon, however, wasn't buying.
"Lise-Marie's father was a welder. He is a humble man and an amateur scientist."
"Huh?" Leonard said, growing excited. "How do you know that?"
"I will not submit to your interrogation any longer. I hate to say this, Leonard, but leave my office at once."
"Fine," Leonard said, slowing strolling to the door. "But I live across the hall from you. You can't hide from me."
When he was gone, Sheldon balled up his fists and growled in some facsimile of the Hulk. Just then his phone rang. It was Amy.
"I'm very nearly on the verge of imploding, Amy," he said. "Gablehauser, and apparently the Swiss government, found out about my nuclear reactor from when I was thirteen. Leonard just stormed my office sniffing around about the project, and deadlines and expectations flood my inbox like Stormtroopers on a wayward planet."
"Um, hello?" Amy said.
"Hello, Amy," he said, realizing his failure to provide her a proper greeting.
"First: the yellow cake uranium situation occurred when you were a minor, and you never actually possessed any. I assure you the matter will be resolved."
"You don't know that," Sheldon said.
"And you don't know that it won't be. But my scenario is just as plausible, and considerably less likely to induce a stroke."
It was a sound enough argument.
"Next," Amy continued, "you are a terrible liar—"
"No worse than you," he muttered.
"However, while our mutual tendency to be honest is what makes us exemplary among our social group, it leads to a certain fascination, on their part, with our personal lives, much like a reclusive rock star attracts the rabid attention of the public."
"Indeed," Sheldon said, heartily agreeing.
"Rather than lying, you are much better off using methods more suited to your skill set: lies by omission and truthful diversion. Tell Leonard what you can tell him, thus satisfying his need for information while omitting anything that would lead to an actual divulgence of information."
Sheldon nodded to himself. "A brilliant strategy, Amy."
"As far as your inbox is concerned, do only what you must do and delegate the rest. You have a team for a reason."
Sheldon sat up erect and confident for the first time all day. "Indeed you are right, Amy. My abilities, while impressive, have their limits." He sighed. "I'm glad I called you. Thank you for your advice. See you later." He went to hang up when he heard Amy screaming his name on the other line. He returned the phone to his ear. "Was there something else?"
"I called you!" she reminded him.
"Indeed you did. Was there something you wanted to say?"
"Naturally," she replied. "I wanted to let you know that I got a call from Dr. Cramden. She offered me the job at Caltech."
Sheldon's face beamed. "Superb news, though wholly expected."
"Thank you. It feels so good to know my skills as a scientist are still desired."
"So," Sheldon asked. "When do you start?"
"Well, I told her I had to speak with you first."
"Of course, and you know you have my enthusiastic blessing."
"Besides, I wanted to wait for the other interview to clear. Just to be sure."
Sheldon was baffled at this addition. "Are you referring to the second interview you were offered at Pasadena University?"
"I am. It's coming up soon and Dr. Cramden said she would give me a time to think it over."
"But Amy, the difference between the Biology departments at Caltech and Pasadena's is like the difference between an expedition to the Amazon and an ant colony bought online."
"Not only do I disagree with that statement, but it omits a key part of my decision. Pasadena is considering me based purely on my own merit as a researcher. Caltech is an excellent institution, but Pasadena could be my opportunity to develop a program from the ground up."
Sheldon could not follow her reasoning and was agitated to the point of distraction. He wanted Amy with him at Caltech and that was the only scenario he could really consider. To see it deferred to a second-rate, regional university was maddening. "Well that's…" he bit his tongue, fighting back words like "crazy," "foolish" and "poopy-headed." He took too long.
"I don't care you if you think my decision is crazy, foolish, or poopy-headed," Amy said. "I owe it to myself to explore all my options. And I hope I can count on you to support me in that."
"I'll see you tonight," Sheldon said and hung up.
Penny was sitting on the bed, staring at her cell phone and learning (re-learning) a very important lesson: planning to do something and actually doing it were two very different things.
They were really only a series of numbers: fives, and eights and ones and twos. But on the other side of those numbers was the woman who had probably had the biggest impact on her life, even when she wasn't there.
Darlene. Her mother.
Then again, Penny wasn't even sure that she wanted to call her. Was Penny's mind even made up?
She leaned back against the headboard and sighed.
"God, give me a sign!" she cried to the heavens. A moment later, her baby kicked three times in a row. "Hmm," she said, and sat up, content that this was sign enough. She pushed send.
After five rings, Penny could hear the sound of a voice on the other side of the line, but… the person wasn't talking to her.
"Hello?" Penny said, or maybe asked.
"Take the dog outside!" the other woman screamed. "Get it out of the kitchen… You know I hate that... Right there... Right there..." Then she suddenly turned her attention to the little communication device that was surely in her hand. "Hello?" she said, her voice welcoming and bright.
"Hello, Mom."
She didn't respond for a moment. "Who is this?"
"Penny."
"Penny!" she called with joy and yearning. "How are you, sweetie?"
"I'm fine, Mom," Penny answered, a smile coming across her own face. "How are you?"
"I'm doing great. How did you get my number?"
"From Scooter," Penny answered. Scooter was her brother. "He said he got it from you at the hearing."
"The hearing," she said, with considerably less cheer. "You don't know how close your brother came to going to jail. Thank God, your father put in $900 and I was able to get the other $300. Well, actually, Rich paid the other $300." Since the divorce from Penny's dad, Rich had been Darlene's on-again, off-again boyfriend who basically created more problems than he solved. Penny was sorry to hear he was back in the picture. "I'm going to pay him back, though, as soon as I get my settlement."
"Settlement?" Penny asked.
"Yeah, sweetie. Over the summer I got in an accident on a city bus and my neck has not been right since. I'm looking at least five grand in damages."
Penny had heard enough. "Mom, you can't keep bailing Scooter out of everything. He's a father, almost 40 years old, and still he hasn't learned a damn thing all these years because he always gets away with everything."
"Look, Penny," Darlene countered, "I know he's just your brother, but he's my son. It's harder than it looks seeing someone you brought in the world suffer. Besides, everyone needs a break now and then. Lord knows I do." She sighed. "I need a break so bad, Penny."
But Penny found herself thinking about what her mom said about being a mother.
"Mom? I have some news."
"Do you?"
"Yeah."
"Then out with it."
This was it. This was her moment. "I'm about to be a mom. Leonard and I are expecting."
There was a moment of silence, then…
"Yeah, I know, sweetie," her mom said. It wasn't the reply Penny expected.
"If you knew, then why didn't you call?"
"Oh, Penny," Darlene said, "I didn't have your number. You know how absent-minded I am. I've lost my doggone phone four times since we've talked last."
"But you could have asked Scooter. Or dad."
"I imagine I could have," she said with a shrug in her voice, "but I hate bothering them. Besides, your dad's girlfriend was so rude to me at the hearing. You would have thought I was the one on trial."
Penny thought a minute. There was something she really wanted to ask, and she gave herself a moment to gather her courage.
"Mom, I was wondering if," —deep breath— "You know, the baby's due in a few weeks, and Leonard and I would love for you to be there. We'd pay for your trip out here, of course. All you'd have to do is come."
There was a long silence, and with each passing second, Penny's heart sunk a little more. She had her answer before her mother had even spoken a word.
"You know there's nothing else in the world I want more than to be out there with you guys, sweetie," she said. "But you know with this neck injury I can't fly until I get better. Doctor's orders, of course. Plus, I could never take money from you that should be going that grandbaby of mine."
Penny almost protested that it would be no trouble at all, or that her mother could take the train, or that they could pay for her to drive a rental car out to California. She even considered saying Rich could come. But she didn't in the end because… who even knew the real reason her mother wasn't coming. She could be on parole for writing bad checks. She could have been embarrassed about how she was living. She was almost certainly out of money. There was always another excuse, another reason why she couldn't be there. The thought of it made Penny angry, and she couldn't even quite remember why she thought it would be different this time… why she'd bothered calling in the first place. She wanted to let her mom know how much she really needed her and how much she'd let her down.
"Mom," she began, with pointed words on the tip of her tongue, but it felt like someone else was taking over as she started to speak. "Remember that time, before you and Dad split up? That time you made me that celebration pie?"
"I do," she said. "When we thought you were going to be the head cheerleader at your school."
"Yeah, that time," Penny said. "The pie had all the school colors from Omaha High on it."
"Yep. I had to put food coloring in the crust."
"I remember. But, in the end, Valerie Mossbacher got head cheerleader instead."
"I know." Her mother snorted. "Old slutbag."
Penny laughed a little, and when she did her bottom lip began to tremble and a tear ran down her face. She swatted at it, and swallowed hard. "I don't know why, but I just think about that sometimes, that's all." Her breath caught towards the end, and her mother seemed to notice.
"Oh, Penny," she said softly, her voice tender. "I love you so much."
"I know," Penny said.
"And I'm sorry," she said.
"I know," Penny said.
There was a bark in the background. Penny heard shuffling on the other side of the phone.
"Rich! I told you I want that damn mutt out of my kitchen… Take him outside. I don't care where... You calm down!" She came back to the phone. "I have to go Penny," she said.
"Okay, Mom."
"I love you," she said.
"I love you too," Penny answered.
"Send me a lot of pictures," she said.
"Okay."
"I love you," she said again, and hung up.
Penny pressed the phone to her chest and sat a while, letting the aftermath of the moment sink in. After a while, she climbed down from the bed and waddled into the living room where Leonard had fallen asleep on the couch while watching an infomercial on magic hedge clippers. She sat down next to him, lifting his foot out of the way. He woke up.
"What time is it?" he asked, rubbing his eye.
"Seven twenty-two," she said.
He stretched, and then sat up and leaned on the armrest. "God, why am I so sleepy?" he asked. He turned to Penny and caught the melancholy look in her eye. It startled him. "Are you crying?" he asked.
She shrugged. Another tear came down her face.
"Come here," he said and pulled her into a hug. "What happened?"
"I called Darlene," she said.
"Really?" he said sitting back and looking at Penny's face. "What did she say?"
"She said she loves me," Penny said.
Leonard waited for more explanation, but when none came he was confused. "That's all?"
"That's all that matters," Penny said. "I'm not worrying about the rest."
Leonard nodded, not really knowing all the details, but somehow still managing to understand everything. He embraced her again.
"Penny, we're going to have this baby, you and me," he said, and he could feel her nodding under his chin. "And we're going to kick-ass as parents." She nodded more. "And we're going to love each other forever." More nodding. "And our baby is going to be smart and beautiful." She laughed.
She placed a hand on her belly, pressing down gently until she could feel the baby that was growing inside of her, and was rewarded with the movement of a little foot.
"She's awake," Penny said. Leonard slid his hand under hers to feel what she was feeling. They sat a moment, marveling at their daughter. Penny suddenly felt very complete with just the three of them.
"I love you, Leonard," she finally said.
"I love you, too," he replied, and pressed a kiss against her temples. She met his eyes, and they shared a kiss.
It was going to be okay.
Routines are sometimes calculated, borne of well-crafted practices designed to improve productivity, preserve tradition or facilitate order in daily life. Others rise out of something looser and more tacit: an unofficial conversation, a lazy habit, a casual convenience. This routine, however, fell somewhere between the two: a need for stealth with her role among their colleagues and the magnetic pull of the physicist down the hall. These combined factors meant that Lise-Marie was making her, now daily, pilgrimage to Sheldon's office at 6:30, after the bulk of the students and professors were deep in their offices, at home with their families or somewhere else entirely. She rapped on his door and, not waiting for him to answer, walked in.
She was usually greeted with a casual nod and cordial "hello," but this evening was different. At the sight of her, he jumped from his chair. The reaction startled her.
"What time is it?" he asked, shuffling papers.
"Have you somewhere to go?" she asked.
"I, um," he looked at her, and she looked back at him with what he took to be sincere concern. The truth was, he had a family waiting for him at home that he had to get to, but frilly domestic chitchat was the last thing he wanted to introduce to their relationship. "I have to go," he said. He started shoving things into his messenger bag.
She nodded and slowly drew closer, diverting her eyes and dragging her fingertip along the length of his desk as she did. "That's disappointing," she said. "I thought we would be going over your summations on the Bracken submission."
Sheldon froze, standing erect. "I did commit to that."
She nodded. "I was really looking forward to it."
He sighed. "I was as well." He almost relented, but then there was Amy… and the children. "I might be able to schedule a… or perhaps we could, no… or on second thought—."
"Go home," she said. "I know your daughter is waiting for her daddy. I would hate for her to have to wait."
The mention of Aditi made Sheldon uncomfortable. He picked up his bag and headed for the door without saying anything.
"There is a way you can make it up to me," she said. He turned around. "Come to my party."
"Party?" he said.
"Remember? The department soiree I'm having on Friday. While I admit that I would very much enjoy your company, I confess I have an ulterior motive for persisting in inviting you: your presence will be quite a draw. Despite your humble belief otherwise, you are really admired here. Your attendance would lend a certain gravitas to the event."
Sheldon nodded. "Then consider this my RSVP," he said.
She smiled widely, and then made a check mark in the air. "Noted," she said.
He left. She followed a moment later.
ENDNOTE: Thanks for spending another chapter with this story. Thanks to Lionne6 for her continued hard work.