A/N: WOW!!! The response for the last chapter was amazing! I want to thank my awesome reviewers who sent me get-well-soons and overall just said some really nice nice things to make me feel better. This chapter goes out to all of you!!! You're all amazing! Now... This chapter was very hard to write. So forgive me of some of the things don't seem realistic... or too dramatic. I'm normally a very happy person. All this sadness is getting to me.

Disclaimer: I've realized it's not Twilight I want to own.... it's Edward.... but sadly, I can't have him either....

Jagged Glass

APOV

I tried to get up… but there was some kind of wooden beam laying across my body. I looked next to me and was shaken to my core at the sight. Jasper was laying next to me. His eyes wide open… staring at me. His arms reaching brokenly for me. But his baby blue eyes had darkened… there was so shine… there was no light behind them.

"Jazzy," I called, surprised at how weak my voice sounded. Nothing. His odd eyes just stared at me. "Jazz," I called more frantically. Still nothing. I touched his hand; it was ice cold. "JASPER!" I yelled, the realization rising. "No! Not you…" My Jasper was laying dead next to me. The love of my life… He was covered with several beams and big chunks of brick and plaster… most of it was scorched. Most of everything around me was scorched. Where was I? I pulled myself from under the beam, after struggling hard, and looked around. Amidst the debris, I saw my friends littered around, in various poses of death. Blood was everywhere.

"NO!" I screamed. "Why? What's happening?" There was Emmett… there was Rose… and there was Bella… and there was…

No… wait. Edward wasn't here. Why wasn't he here? Suddenly I felt something hit me from behind. I hit the ground hard and saw her hovering over me with a thick piece of pipe in her hand.

"What have you done?" I screamed at her. She smiled.

"Shut up!" She said and kicked me hard in the ribs.

"NO!! NO DON'T!!" I screamed as she came closer to hurt me some more. "EDWARD!!! HELP ME!!" I yelled. If he wasn't here, maybe he could come save me.

"Edward won't be able to save you. He can't help anyone." She laughed. Panic gripped at my heart. Edward was dead… because he…

"NO!!! NO!!! EDWARD!!!" The ground started rocking. I felt myself shaking… and then the scene started to change….

I opened my eyes and was staring into a shiny ocean of baby blue.

"Alice! Wake up! It's just a dream! Wake up, baby." Jasper was hovering over me, shaking me slightly. And he was very alive.

"JAZZY!" I cried, sitting up and throwing my arms around his neck. "Oh, Jasper…"

BPOV

After Jasper woke up Alice and calmed her down, she told us about her dream. Rose gasped.

"That wasn't a dream, Alice. You were having a vision!" I froze.

"No! It can't be true!" Alice cried. I felt my knees melt from under me. If Alice was right…

"It won't happen. I promise you it won't happen." Jasper soothed her. He held her close to him and rocked back and forth a bit.

We were all silent for a while. Then Mom burst into the room with the cordless house phone… her eyes were red and puffy.

"It's Esme… she was attacked in the hospital." There was huge collective light bulb that flashed over our heads. Its light was painful and blinding. As per usual, Emmett got us moving and functioning. Rose made the right phone calls and the rest us followed Jasper's instructions.

Something scary was waiting to greet us at the hospital. I just knew. I knew Esme wasn't dead… but I knew she was hurt…badly. And I knew that neither Carlisle nor Edward would take it very well. And if Alice's vision was right, then Maybe Edward already….

"Bella, let's go!" Rose shouted, tugging on my arm. We ran through the hospital doors and the receptionist let us pass without any preamble. We ran like one body toward Esme's room…

There was Dad. He was slumped on a chair in front of Esme's room…clearly distraught. He looked up as he heard us coming. His face was drawn and pale and he looked way past exhausted.

"Dad!" I knelt down beside him. "What's happened?"

"Bells," he put his hand on my head. "All of you. I need you to listen to me now. There is a mad woman on the loose and I need you all to be very careful. She is ruthless and had no qualms about hurting someone who could not defend herself. Esme is laying in there… in a coma because of that woman. I want you all to be very careful out there." We all nodded.

"For heaven's sake, Charlie," Mom said. "What happened to Esme?"

"Her IV was spiked with heavy doses of Morphine. And I mean severely heavy doses. The doctors are surprised Esme is still alive. No one knows how she got in here undetected." Dad ran his hand through his hair. I knew he was blaming himself.

"It's not your fault, Charlie." Mom soothed him.

"Now's not the time for comforting me, Renee. Carlisle is like a 100 car pileup engulfed in flames right now. The man is beside himself. He doesn't know what to do. And then…" Dad's eyes flashed to me.

"Where's Edward?" I asked frantically.

"After we found him…"

"Found him?"

"He took it bad. He flipped out and ran for it."

After Edward had heard that Esme was attacked, he lost it. Dad said that for about 5 minutes, he just stared off into space… but then he came to and just ran for it. Dad assured us that he didn't hurt anyone. He didn't want to. Edward wanted to… "He was so angry and sad… If we hadn't found him in time…"

My mind felt like it was spiraling into my chest. He promised me. He promised me that he wouldn't ever want to do that.

"Did he…?" I couldn't speak the words. No one could.

"He'll be all right, Bella. He'll be fine. He's okay now."

"What did he do?" Emmett asked. I turned around to look at him. His face was pale and scared. I'd never seen Emmett looked so scared ever. Nor had I ever seen Rosalie look so defeated. Alice was shaking her head in denial…as if she could will her vision away. Not even Jasper could calm her down. Dad let out a breath I didn't realize he was holding.

"He wanted to die, Emmett. That's all he would say to me. 'Let me die, Charlie. Please let me die.' If I hadn't stopped him, Edward would be dead right now." He said with his voice shaking. Dad cared a lot for Edward and it was easy to see how shaken he was. Mom let out a strangled sob. My body just went numb… as if it were telling me that numbness would be my state if Edward didn't exist. Emmett fell to his knees.

"And Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

"He was heavily sedated by the other doctors. He should be waking up soon. But I'm hoping Esme wakes up first. I've never seen anyone…" his voice broke.

"Please, Charlie." Mom said. "Don't say anything else. Come on, kids." She said to the rest of us. "Let's go wait." We followed her like hollow toy soldiers. We moved like robots, but looked like ghosts. I felt like a ghost too. I'm sure we all did. Esme was dying. Carlisle was…dying in a way too. And Edward blamed himself so he wanted to die too.

Everything had been wonderful. Edward was practically healed. He had a loving home and a loving family. And now… a sob ripped through my body. No one came to comfort me… no one's arms held me. Everyone else was indulging in premature grieving too. We cried. We cried like babies. I leaned against whoever was sitting next to me. I didn't even know who it was. It was too small to be Emmett… and too tall to be Alice. It didn't really matter. Whoever it was was too busy giving in to their sadness to notice me.

The world became a myriad of wet colors for a long time. The tears were relentless. I couldn't stop even when I told myself I was being silly. Because I was. Everyone would be okay. Everyone would be fine. Esme would wake up. Edward would wake up and not remember anything so he could be spared any of the mental pain this would bring him. Carlisle would be fine once Esme was fine. So why was I crying?

Why the hell was I crying?

"Why the hell are we crying?" I said to everyone. A small heat was traveling up my spine, straightening me. Everyone looked at me and I was met with several pairs of puffy, red eyes. "No one is dead. There is no reason for us to be grieving like this! Esme is going to be just fine! And Edward is too. And Carlisle will be fine as long as they are! So just why are we crying?" I was mad now. Why was I being so weak? Why were we all being so weak? Jasper wiped his tears away…feeding from my anger.

"She's right! When Esme wakes up, she doesn't wanna see a bunch of people crying! We have to make sure that room is spotless for her when she wakes up!" Rose stood up next to be her brother… who turned out to be who I was leaning on.

"She'll hate those curtains… and she'll wanna see flowers and balloons in her room." She said still fighting the tears.

"I'll buy the curtains," Alice said in a weak version of her normal spunky self.

"Jazz and I will get flowers." Emmett said. He smiled my way.

"And I'll get her something nice to wear. Bells, you and Rose stay behind and do something about her hair." Mom said. She gave me a big hug and whispered, "Thank you, honey."

We split to go do our self assigned tasks. Rose went with me to Esme's room. We stopped cold at the sight. She was laying motionless in the bed… her chest rising and falling slightly with small breaths. Machines were monitoring her heart. The beeps were ominous and relieving at the same time. She was ghostly pale… it was almost enough to get me to start crying again.

"Well," Rose said, her voice breaking, "Let's make her look pretty for Carlisle. You do her hair. I got makeup." Rose and I worked silently on Esme. I untangled her long thick caramel hair and loosely braided it down her back… the way she wore when she was gardening. Rose just put some color back on to her face. Esme never wore heavy makeup. Sometimes it seemed as if she weren't wearing any at all. The boys came in with about 10 large flower arrangements and placed them around the room. Alice hung very pretty deep purple lace curtains on the windows and Mom came in with burgundy stain pajamas for us to change Esme into. After we were done, it was a lot easier to be in the room with her. It looked like she was merely sleeping from a long night.

I stepped back to admire our handiwork and bumped into someone. I turned around to see who it was… and I immediately wished I hadn't. I was met with the single most heartbreaking sight. Carlisle. He was a shadow of the man I had grown to love and respect like a second father. I let out a little gasp and his swollen eyes came down on me. I wanted to cry. Oh my God. I had never wanted to cry more in my life then just now. When Carlisle forced a half smile at me… it tore my chest apart.

"Hey kids," He said as he scanned the room. A phantom of a real smile played on his face and I felt the sadness lift some. "Thank you. She'd be really happy." We stared at him in silence. Jasper melted from his spot and gave Carlisle a hug.

"She wouldn't want to see you like this." A few tears escaped Carlisle's eyes.

"You're right. She wouldn't… but I can't… nothing seems worth it… I keep thinking I'm going to lose her… and I can't… I'm not strong enough for this. I feel like I've failed her." The flood gates opened. Carlisle was crying openly… he was so scared that he was going to lose Esme…The love of his life. The rest of us were trying hard not to cry. Carlisle needed strength. "And now, Edward… I couldn't bear it." He let go of Jasper and sat down next to Esme's bed. He took her cold, pale hand into his cold, pale hands. "Please don't leave me, Esme. I can't keep going if you're not there to push me. Life's not worth living if you're not by my side. Please don't leave me."

I looked away. Rose had her head buried in Emmett's chest. Jasper had left the room… but I could hear him sobbing outside. Alice was sitting next to Carlisle, trying to reassure him. I looked over at Emmett, who opened an arm for me. I ran to him.

"Oh Emmett," I whispered. "This is too much…" I had never seen anyone suffer like Carlisle was suffering right now. Eventually Carlisle had cried himself out and fell asleep sitting next to Esme. We left them alone.

"I wanna go see Edward." I said.

"You go alone first. We'll be in a few minutes after you." Emmett said. I walked to the room Dad told me Edward was in. I was expecting to find him asleep… but when I opened his door, he was sitting up and was wide awake and his face was very blank. I took a few steps in hoping the sound would make him look up. But nothing. I took a deep breath and walked to him and sat down on the chair next to the bed. He didn't look at me. It was if as he was sleeping with his eyes open while sitting up.

"Edward," I whispered. Nothing. Maybe I should be expecting this… he was probably in shock. Hopefully he wouldn't remember anything of what happened… I reached over to touch his hand, but he pulled it away.

"Don't touch me." He whispered. I heard pain and anger in his voice. I didn't listen to him. I lifted my hand to caress his face. When my skin met his, he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He seemed to lean into my touch for a few seconds, but then straightened up and pulled away from me. I felt cold.

EPOV

I was alive. I was in a hospital bed… I'm sure I had lost blood… and my chest was throbbing. But I didn't ask for any pain medication. I needed this pain. I needed something to keep my connected to how fucking stupid I was.

I was wallowing in my pool of self loathing when Bella walked into my room. She knew. Of course she knew. If I did, I'm sure she knew. I didn't want her to see me. I didn't want anyone to see me. I was a fucking monster. A stupid one.

"Edward," she whispered leaning forward a bit.

"Don't touch me." I said to her. She shouldn't be near me. Shame was contagious and I was wearing it like a badge of honor. She ignored me and touched my cheek with her small, warm hand. And I gave into her. I closed my eyes and let her scent attack me. My Bella… I felt as if just her touch could purify me. She had no clue just how much power that one touch had. She had to power to strengthen me… she had to power to destroy me. I pulled away from her suddenly. I saw the stung look on her face.

"Please don't pull away from me." She pleaded with me. Oh what she didn't know.

"Leave me alone." I said. I didn't mean it. I wanted her to stay so badly… but I didn't want anyone to see me after what I had done. I was the ultimate coward, the supreme loser. She shook her head at me.

"You don't mean that." Of course she knew that.

"I do." I lied. "I don't want anyone here." That was true.

"Not even me?" She whispered.

"Especially not you! Bella, I know what I did. I remember everything."

BPOV

What? He remembered?? He wasn't supposed to remember! How could be so calm about this? What could this mean for him?

"But why would that make you… not want to see me?"

"I always want to see you. I don't want you to see me."

"Why?" I asked defiantly.

"Because I'm ashamed!" he yelled. "I'm ashamed of myself! I gave into the anger and hatred I felt just to have an escape from a very harsh reality. Then I go and try to…" he looked at me. His eyes were swimming in unshed tears.

"You were afraid… you didn't know how to react…"

"Stop trying to justify me! I was stupid and wrong and I know it!"

"No, Edward. You were not. You were confused and angry. You didn't know how to take such a devastating blow. That's all." I leaned forward to soothe him but he pulled away from me. "Stop pulling away from me!" I started crying now. "Please let me comfort you."

"No! I don't deserve it." Now he was crying. He looked right at me. I staggered underneath his tortured gaze.

"What do you deserve then, huh?" I asked pulling away from him now. He wanted to play this game then? I could play too. He looked away from me.

"Hate me… please just hate me. Tell me you never want to see me again. Tell me that I'm a shameful coward. Tell me that you hate me and that I make your life hell on earth." I melted. I wasn't expecting this. I could tell that one some insane level, that that's what he honestly wanted. But I couldn't give him that. I wouldn't give him that.

"I could never hate you… I love you, Edward."

"Damn it, Bella…" he whispered. I saw him flinch a bit.

"No. I won't hate you. I just can't do it."

"I tried to kill myself!" He cried. His sobs cut through me. I hadn't expected him to admit it. "I just wanted to die…"

"How?" I asked bravely. He looked up at me, surprised.

"What?"

"Tell me how."

"No…"

"Tell me, Edward! Tell me how! So I know how to do it too." His face paled.

"You couldn't…"

"When I told you that I loved you…I told you that I loved you like Juliet loved Romeo. When Juliet found Romeo dead… she couldn't bear to live without him… so she killed herself too. Edward, if you die… I'm going with you." I grabbed his face and this time he didn't pull away. "Now tell me how." He didn't break my stare. But he grabbed one of my hands away from his face and brought it to his chest. He pressed my hand hard under his own. He flinched a bit.

EPOV

I pressed her hand harder into my chest. The pain ripped through me… but it made the memories fresher. And she wanted to know. I allowed my mind to dip into the memories it would never repress. I closed my eyes and let my memories spill.

I didn't want to hear this. I didn't want to feel this. I fell happily into the anger that wanted me. I ran off from Charlie quickly. I wanted to die. That was the only to detach myself from the unbearable pain I was feeling. I ran through the hallways of the hospital…there was a voice somewhere in my mind telling me to stop running. "It doesn't have to be this way!" It shouted at me. "Yes it does! It's the only way!" I shouted back. I didn't have much time, and the urgent sense of despair was wrapping itself around me… a lot like a snake squeezing the life out of its prey. I couldn't help thinking that the feeling was familiar. I let it have its way with me.

"Die, Edward." It said to me. "You're a monster… and monsters deserve to die."

That's what I wanted. I wanted to die. I couldn't bear this life. I had to die... but how? I didn't have time. I knew they were chasing me. I ran into an empty room. I looked around frantically. Nothing! Damn it! I went up to the window and punched the glass as hard as I could just out of the sheer frustrated rage I felt. It left an unsatisfying sting on my knuckles. No blood. This wouldn't kill me. I looked down and noticed a large jagged piece of glass. Inspiration struck quickly.

I grabbed the glass and impaled myself in the chest as hard as I could. I was going to rip my heart out. They couldn't save me from that. It would be too late. I jabbed the glass further into my chest. This would do it. The pain was intense. It knocked the air out of me. And it was immediately hard to breathe. Blood started to pour out of the wound and the pain was inhibiting me. But I had to… I had to… I couldn't take this anymore. I wasn't meant to be happy if I caused those that I loved tragedy. I pushed the glass in deeper, the pain was nearly unbearable. And that's what I wanted. I needed to suffer before death took me.

Therapists say that suicide attempts are pleas for help. I guess the first time… as gruesome as it was…was a plea for help. This time wasn't. This wasn't a plea for anything. I wanted to die. That's it. Plain and simple. I hated Edward Masen. I hated him wholly and absolutely. I wanted to destroy myself until not even memories were left.

Charlie rushed in just as I fell to the floor.

"Edward, no!" He lifted me up as if I didn't weigh anything. He shouted instructions at someone. His voice sounded warped and distant.

"Let me die, Charlie. Please let me die." I said with all the strength I could. It was getting harder to breathe. Death was coming. There were tunnels, no lights, no friendly voices to guide me home. It was just me and the darkness.

"Stay with me, Edward. I'm getting you to someone that can help."

"No…" my voice getting weaker. "Please let me die. I don't wanna keep going. I 'm done. Please let me die, Charlie."

"Don't talk. Save your strength."

"Don't save me. I'm not worth it." Why do you care about me? I wanted to ask him? Why do you bother? I deserve this. I just wanted to die. This was taking too long. He said something else. But I couldn't hear it. Darkness opened it arms to me. And I willingly let it embrace me.

I heard sobbing. I opened my eyes and was Bella's drowning brown ones.

"And I'm ashamed. Because I didn't succeed… I'm still alive and all I wanted to do was die!" I held her hand hard against my wound. It hurt so bad… but it was a reminder of how stupid I was, and a reminder that I was alive. She tried to pull her hand away when she noticed it was hurting me. "No. I need it to hurt."

"Edward…" her sobbing shook her, "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the worthless bastard that needs to die." When had I thought that before? She shook her head hard at me.

"No! You can't think like that! You can't!"

"But I do, Bella." I was holding back my tears. The pressure was causing more pain in my chest. "I just can't… bring any more tragedy to Esme or anyone. I want to die." A sob escaped me.

"No! I won't let you! Edward, you don't mean this." She took her hand off my chest and sat in the bed with me. She trapped me in an embrace and my arms involuntarily wrapped around her. "You're confused… you're hurting… and you… you… Edward, you…" she choked up. "You tried to take yourself away from me! What can I do to make want to stay?" I melted into her. I didn't want to answer. Because my answer would eventually hurt her. She needed to be away from me. I wasn't good for her. I was going to bring tragedy and despair into her life. But as I had proved, I was selfish… and I was a coward.

"Love me…" I said in spite of myself. "I can't go on without you. And I'm sorry…" I let the pressure that was building up in my chest go. "I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough for you. But I can't do it without you. I'm so sorry. But I can't help I how I feel. Help me. Please help me." I pleaded with her. And the rightness fell in place. I needed her. I would always need her. "I love you."

"I'll always love you, Edward. I'll never leave you. Never. Rest now. I'll be here." She laid me back onto the bed and snuggled into me. I held close her to me. The pain in my chest throbbed insanely. But I would keep it as a reminder of how stupid I was. For a few minutes I was weak. And I almost took my life because of that weakness. My body was tired and I fell into sleep quickly. I felt okay now… but I knew this was far from over.

I would have to learn to deal with this. As long as that witch was alive and out there… the ones I loved were in danger. She was after them to make me suffer. And it was working. But I would stop her.

So as I lay there in my hospital bed, holding Bella close to me, I vowed that I would rid the world of that horrid bitch… or that I would die trying.

A/N: I know I know! Forgive me! It's a bit of a cliffie... but it's not as high this time! I'm trying very hard to update sooner.

So, I cried while I was writing this. I've never had thoughts like that... but I know people who have and it's scary. I hope none of you or anyone you know have been touched by anything like this... and if you have, I'm very sorry. Big hugs for everyone. Review please! Lift me out of this sad sad place.