Chapter 20 reminder:

It takes two hours, but I manage to get them both to play a basic scale. When I let down the shield they mess up, but then they learn to concentrate on playing.

The first time they get it right, I hear someone clapping from the doorway. It's Aro. "That was impressive. But I thought you were going to work on controlling their powers."

"I am. They have to block out each other's thoughts if they want to play the right notes. They can't shut it off, but if they think about something that takes a lot of concentration, they can tune it out. Armando's doing really well since the sax is a hard instrument to master." I want to make sure to say good things about him, since I'm certain he doesn't hear very many positive comments. "Arianna's got a good sense of rhythm, and Aurora already knows a little piano."

"Will you be able to work with them? I mean if it helps them with their control." He seems so polite and agreeable when it comes to his kids.

"I can work with them a bit, but they really need someone who knows music."

"I'll look into it. I came to find you because the meeting starts in twenty minutes." He looks at his children and smiles. "I would be so proud to have them become talented musicians. Italians are known for music... among other things." He looks at me knowingly, and against my will, I remember his assertion that they're passionate lovers as well. I glare at his grin.

Chapter 21

Guilt and Blame

His children put away the music and the instruments. We all leave together, though the hybrids are planning on having lunch at the cafe. We pass through the main entryway on the way to the elevator. I smile when I see Anton Moretti chatting with the receptionist. He smiles and nods my way.

"Isabella Marie Swan Cullen!" I hear my name from across the wide open expanse. It's a female voice, but it's not my mother, who is the only person I know who would use my full name, and only if she was really irritated with me. I stop and turn toward the door. I can see a petite, blond hybrid. Even from across the room I can tell she's angry – furious even. She steps into the center of the room, and we're all watching her strange behavior.

"You killed my mother! Your son-in-law killed my father. Now I'm going to kill you!" She raises her hands at me, and I can tell she's trying to use a power against me. She reminds me of Jane when the Volturi came to Forks. Like Jane, her power is useless against me.

I hear Aro's derisive laughter behind me. "Dora, don't be an idiot! You know her full name, and yet you don't know you can't hurt her with your power?"

"You!" She turns her livid eyes on Aro. "You're a traitor! Maybe I can't hurt the murderer, but I can take care of you, and your spawn!" I watch in horror as Aro and Aurora attack each other, and Armando and Arianna fight the same way. It's as if they're puppets being controlled by invisible strings. Aro bites into Aurora's throat, while she sinks her thumbs into his eyes. Arianna screams as her brother rakes his clawed fingers down her face. In seconds Aro is winning his battle and even with his eyes gouged out, Aurora is fading.

"NO!" I shield them all, and instantly they stop their struggles. "Stop it! Are you crazy, they haven't done anything to you!" Even as she realizes she can't affect them anymore, I see Anton aim a gun from where he's just out of her line of sight.

"Don't shoot!" My warning makes her react, and she easily takes the gun from him. I shield him from her mental attack, but she's got the gun turned on him.

"Drop the shield, or he dies!" She could squeeze the trigger before I could reach her. "You're the one who needs to suffer!"

"I can't drop it – it's a part of me." I feel sick as I imagine what could happen.

I know it's Aurora in my head, but I hear her the way I heard Nessie. It must be how she's getting through the shield. (She's going to shoot him. Do something.)

In my mind, I recall Edward's death. I see the look on his face as they tear him apart. I fight to get to him, and I'm too late. I'm. Too Late! Like it's right in front of me, I see the fire that burns my soul, and I feel the power of my grief focusing all that I am into one sharp burst. I aim it this time, right at the blond who would kill for no reason. I let it go, and barely see her knocked into the far wall, before I fall myself.

I awake to wailing and crying. I'm on the floor, and ridiculously my head is resting in Alice's lap. I don't have a clear view of what's going on around me, but I can feel the chaos.

"She's awake now!" They crowd in around me; Aro and his children. His eyes are red and swollen,, but he looks better than his children. Aurora's neck is bandaged, and Arianna's face is covered with two large gauze pads. Armando is holding an ice pack to his groin. Anton has a bandage on his upper arm, and a smile on his face.

"Are you alright?" Aro's voice is full of concern. "She could have killed us, if not for you. She only nicked Anton."

"Who is she? Why..." I want to know why someone with such a lethal power is trying to kill me. I struggle to sit up.

"She's Caius' daughter, Dora." He looks reluctant to continue, but slowly he tells the story. "She was born before Joham came to Volterra. Caius wanted to stop vampires from creating hybrids, but not until he had one of his own. He kidnapped a girl... a pretty young tourist from some university in Sweden. She was blond and blue-eyed, and he had relations with her. I could horrify you with questions about whether she was willing, controlled, or dazzled, but at least she didn't fight."

It must be obvious by my expression how I feel about how casually they used humans.

"Judge us if you will, but we're vampires. Before the war, it wasn't unusual for us to use our female victims for sex before feeding on them. I outgrew the practice hundreds of years ago, but Caius still did it enough he could maintain a certain amount of gentleness and control. The girl survived their intimacy, but she didn't become pregnant as easily as you did.

"After the first month of trying, his wife discovered that he was keeping her. She became upset, and he told her he was trying to make a baby – for her. Athenodora was a very... odd woman. She began spending time with his captive. She moved her from the cell she occupied to a nice room; one with a strong door. She furnished the room with all the comforts she could give a prisoner." He looks around to make sure no one else is listening.

"She stayed with them during their intimate moments. She said she wanted to be there when her baby was conceived. It took three months, which is really not that long, but by that time Athenodora had formed a strange bond with the captive. She cared for her while the child grew. She brought in heaters to keep her warm and she never left her side. Of course you know what the poor girl went through." I remember, though it's all wrapped up in my human memory.

"As her time approached they talked about the baby. The girl knew she wasn't expected to live, but she didn't blame Athenodora. She told her she wanted her to raise her baby. Caius tried to distance himself from the whole thing. Athenodora had cut him off while he was fornicating with the girl, and she was too busy for him while she was pregnant. He was anxious for the whole thing to be over.

"I was there when the baby was born. It was hideous to watch. The girl was in agony before the drugs took affect, and it was a blessing she never woke up. It tore out of her..."

"I know!" I interrupt him. "Please, you don't have to tell me."

"I'm sorry." He sighs deeply. "Athenodora helped with the delivery, and when she saw that the girl was dying, she begged Caius to change her. They'd become friends, and she didn't want her to die. Caius refused. He wanted the baby, but not the mother, and he didn't want to have to face the woman he'd bedded, beyond her usefulness. His wife didn't have the control to do it herself, but in a last ditch effort, as the girl faded away, she tried. Instead of saving her, she drained her.

"The baby was healthy, with a beating heart, and warmth, and all the things we would later discover were normal for hybrids. At first she was ugly... all pink and wrinkled and bald. But within hours, she developed and grew, and she was a blond haired, blue-eyed angel to behold. Athenodora took her as if she'd given birth to her. Everyone called her Athenodora's Baby, then Dora's Baby, and eventually just Dora."

I sit up on my own, even though Alice is behaving as if I'll break. "Why does she blame me for killing her mother?"

"She doesn't really acknowledge her birth mother. Athenodora and Caius raised her. When Joham took over, he was quite interested in Dora. She's a powerful hybrid, and he's not her father. As soon as she became of age, he took her." I can't help but feel sickened at his words.

"At fifteen? You've got to be kidding me!"

He looks angry. "The hybrid age of consent was lower then, and she was chronologically only seven, which made her fourteen. He didn't use his power on her because Caius essentially gave her to him – against his wife's protests. They were a couple for three years, but she never conceived his child."

He stops talking to check on his children. Armando has set aside his ice pack. I take the opportunity to stand and find a seat, so I'm not in the middle of the floor.

Alice is on one side, and Aro takes the seat beside me to continue his story. "Athenodora had to go with the army when we marched on Denali. Caius was so fully under Joham's influence he didn't even have the will to argue for his own wife. He did manage to put her at the back of the army, like she was when we came to Forks. She stayed out of the fighting up until the end. It was your power that knocked her out, and made her vulnerable. She was away from the main group, and an easy target. A lot of them never got back up. What was left of Delphine's army was merciless in killing those who'd fallen. Athenodora and my wife Sulpicia were both cut down that way."

I think I realized on some level that my one attack had changed the outcome for us. But I'd never really thought or talked about it to anyone. I knew the battle had turned in our favor, and that's all I cared to know. To think it was something I did, which caused so much death and destruction was a bitter pill to swallow. Being here at Volterra, I was seeing the faces of those who'd been affected by the war on the other side. How could I blame Dora for hating me, when in her young mind I really did kill her mother.

"Where is the girl now?" I look around and I don't see her.

"Bella, attacking a council member is punishable by death. They've taken her up to the chamber where such sentences are carried out." He looks at me as if I'm slow. "Did you want to witness her execution?"

"What? They're going to kill her!" I'm on my feet even before he answers.

"Of course. It's very sad that she's the daughter of my friend, but..."

"No! We've got to stop it!" I take off at a run, and Alice is right behind me.

"Bella, what are you trying to do? You still need to rest!"

"Call it off, Alice! We can't let them do this!" I skip the elevator, and run up the three flights of stairs. I make it to the room, and have to plow through a mass of Volturi Guard.

"Stop it! Don't touch her!" Several try to restrain me, and I elude them. Alice comes in behind me and gives the order to halt the proceedings. When I get a look at the girl, I'm shocked. She looks as if she's been beaten, and they have her chained in shackles mounted from the floor and ceiling. Her face is bleeding, and she's crying, but she can't even wipe the mess oozing from her nose.

As I take a closer look, I see something that horrifies me. It's one of the thermite disk's they used to burn the vampire parts during the war.

I get closer to the girl, and she sees me. "Get away from me!" She screams and struggles in the chains.

"I'm not going to hurt you..."

"Get away from me, murderer! I hate you! You should be dead, not her!" She lunges in the chains, as if she'd reach me. I see two members of the guard move as if they'd beat her for the offense.

"No. don't touch her!" I look at Alice, feeling all too powerless. I know the chains are somehow vampire proof. "This is ridiculous, I'm not just going to let you assassinate a helpless girl!"

"Bella, this is how we do things here." Aro moves through the Guard with ease, and comes to stand beside me. "She knew the risks when she chose her actions. Trust me, if there's one thing Caius' daughter knows, it's the law."

She looks at him with tearful blue eyes. "Uncle Aro, I'm sorry, please don't hate me when I'm gone." He steps closer to her, and pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes her face.

"I don't hate you. But Arianna's face is in ruins, and Aurora almost died. You know the law." She dissolves into hysterical weeping, and it's only the shackles from the ceiling which keep her from falling to the floor as her knees give way.

"Why did you attack me?" I move up beside him. "Didn't you know about my shield?"

She raises her head and glares at me. "I thought I was strong enough to overcome your protection."

"You heard her, Aro, she did attack me, even if it wasn't successful." I raise my voice to be heard over the Guard and the witnesses. "Under article twenty-seven of the Articles of Punishment, in the Ancient Volturi Law, I demand the right of bondage."

She screams and lunges for me again. "No! Kill me! Burn me now! I won't do it, and you can't force me to submit!" I meet her hate filled eyes and smile. She spits, and my vampire reflexes keep it from landing on my face as she intended.

Aro looks at me stunned. "When did you become versed in Ancient Volturi Law? I haven't heard that right demanded since slavery was abolished. Do you understand what you're doing?"

"I studied a bit. And I know what I'm doing. If granted, she will belong to me, and you can't kill her unless I permit it."

His eyes narrow. "You realize this law wasn't written to save them from death, but to allow the wronged party to punish them above and beyond death? I really should deny your request and force you to get your support from the rest of the council. But I have a feeling Alice will support you, so I'll give you my vote, if Alice wants to second it."

"I second it." She's staring at me, and I wonder how this lines up with her visions.

"So, how did they keep them in line after they were given to their new masters?" The word feels dirty on my tongue.

"Typically they had one or more loved ones who would suffer their sentence if they should fail in their servitude. But Dora's family is gone." He removes a glove, then touches her. "She does have a lover she's quite attached to." I can see the horror in her eyes. He turns to a member of the guard. "Go and find Sabrina, and bring her here." I'm stunned that her lover is a woman. I wonder if she was gay before Joham "took" her, or if his use of her influenced her choices. Either way he's lucky he's already dead.

"No! Please don't let her see me like this!" Aro is impassive as we wait. I hear her pounding heart when they bring her in. She's clearly panicked over the events she's likely just heard about. She's a petite human woman I suspect is Volterrani. She rushes through the crowd and wraps herself around Dora in spite of the guards who would have stopped her if Aro didn't hold them back.

He slips into a flowery form of speech as he utters the full names of both women. "I hereby declare that you belong to Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, You will follow her commands in both letter and spirit. You will not seek to flee from her nor harm her in any way. You will have no rights unless she grants them to you. Your life belongs entirely to her. Failure to comply will result in your death, as well as that of your loved ones."

Her screams fill the chamber. Sabrina tries to comfort her, but she's pulled away. As I watch, they unlock the shackles and several hands hold her. A collar is snapped onto her neck, and I realize just how serious the law is when they hand me a length of chain fastened to the collar.

"Have Miss Sabrina moved into a more secure area until further notice. I don't want either of them to escape." Dora lunges for him, but my hand on the chain keeps her from him. The Guard leaves the chamber, and I'm left with Aro, Alice, and a very angry hybrid on a leash.

"Well, it looks like you've got your wish. It's going to be interesting to see how this one plays out." He smiles cryptically "If you'll excuse me, I need to go be with my children now."

"Are you nuts!" Alice confronts me. "Bella, do you have any idea how many human laws you're breaking? Why didn't you give me a chance to figure this out, I would have come up with... something." She doesn't look too sure of herself.

"I listened to Carlisle tell how fast they carry out their executions. I didn't want to take any chances that I'd be too late."

"What are you going to do with her?" We both turn to look at the girl. She's as far away from me as the chain will allow.

"Can I trust you if I take the collar and chain off?"

"No." Her words have more venom than I do. "I'll not follow you like a docile puppy."

"Suit yourself." I look at Alice. "I want to take her to see a doctor first. I think her nose is broken, and I'm sure that's not all of her injuries." Alice leaves me so she can reorganize the twice postponed council meeting.

People stare as we walk through the halls on the way to the clinic. Dora pulls at the leash anytime she thinks I'm not paying enough attention. The doctor is horrified at her treatment, but I explain it's her own choice. I have to order her to submit to a check-up. Her nose is broken, and the doctor manipulates it so it will heal straight. She's also got three cracked ribs and a mass of bruises under her clothes. She makes me feel horrible when she tells me the worst injuries happened when I hit her with my shield. Fortunately hybrids heal fast.

When I ask her when she ate last, she tells me it was yesterday. I take her to the cafe, and get her enough food for two meals. I have to order her to eat. After her meal, I order her to take me to her apartment. It's a nice place, even though it's small. I know that her assets can be liquidated to pay restitution for her crimes, but still I order her to pack a suitcase. I find a picture on her bedside table, and I realize it's not Sabrina, but her mother. She looks angry when I pick it up, and I lay it atop her clothes in the suitcase.

"You think this whole benevolent act is going to make me stop wishing you were dead?" Her sneer reminds me of Caius.

"Don't sneer, and that's an order." I sigh. "I'm not acting, and I'm not all that benevolent. I didn't know your mother, but I know a lot of Volturi died in the war. I lost people I loved too."

"You should have died!"

"For two years I would have agreed with you. I didn't want to live without my husband. Every day I would wake up and stare at the place I last saw him alive. Your father murdered him. I watched it happen and I couldn't stop it. I was too late to keep them from burning him. I can never forget. He was the father of my child, and the only man I'd ever loved. I miss him more than you can imagine. I've only just started to live again."

"I didn't kill him. But you killed my mother, and I hate you. She was all I had, and she was so good to me..." She angrily wipes away her tears.

"When Edward died... I couldn't believe it. I didn't believe he could ever die. He was an amazing man: Talented, kind, loving, beautiful, compassionate, understanding, and so fiercely protective. He was my whole world, and they tore him to pieces. I didn't mean to attack them. It was a spontaneous manifestation of grief and horror that came out of me like a tsunami. Dora, when your mother was killed, I was unconscious on the ground, completely oblivious. I don't know who took her life, but I was just as vulnerable as she was."

"What are you trying to gain by telling me all of this? Is this the 'oops I didn't know,' defense? If you hadn't knocked them out, she would still be alive!"

"I'm trying to remember you're still young enough to be foolish. But your reasoning is flawed. You only want to hate me because I'm accessible. But Joham sent her to war, and Caius didn't stop it. Maybe my shield knocked her down, but someone else killed her. And no one tried to save her from the flames."

"If I have to, I'll get to each and every one responsible!"

"To what end? You could get to everyone on the list and kill them all. She's still just as dead! You can't bring her back, and you can't change the past. It's a waste, Dora. It's a waste of the life she wanted you to live."

"You didn't know her, you can't tell me what she wanted!"

"I'm a mother too. I could have easily died in the war, and I know for a fact I would hate it if my daughter gave up her life to pursue revenge. I would want her to get over me and move on. I would want her life to be my tribute."

"You are not my mother! She was better than you, and she deserved to be avenged!" Her ice blue eyes flame with passion.

"Where does it stop? What if we all avenged everyone who deserved it, how high would we pile the bodies before we stopped? I could avenge Edward, Rosalie could avenge Emmett, Alice could avenge her mother, and Carlisle could avenge his wife. They all deserved it Dora, and in the end we could have several more mourning families, all bent on revenge. Haven't we had enough? Don't you have any idea where this foolishness leads? Go find Velasquez and ask him how long his coven was fighting with Duarte's. I can tell you if you choose that life, your whole existence becomes about war and fighting. I've seen it first hand, and it doesn't end well."

"I don't want it to end well, I just want it to end!" I watch her change, almost as if a switch is thrown. She goes from defiance to deep sorrow, and she collapses onto the bed. Her lip quivers, and tears pool in her eyes, then stream down her face. "She was my mother... my mama... she loved me..." Her voice hitches. "Even Sabrina doesn't love me like she did. It hurts! It always hurts... and I miss her. A thousand times a day I want to tell her something, or see her smile, or just hear her voice... but she's gone. I never even got to tell her I loved her before she left... I didn't get to say goodbye."

"I know how you feel."

"Impossible!" She doesn't even look at me, she's so caught up in her grief.

"You fee like someone's reached into your chest, and pulled out your heart. And where it used to be, there's a frozen rock. It haunts you every minute of every day, because you know it's just wrong, but you don't know how to fix it. You feel like the very universe has cheated you, and you want to scream, and kick, and break things. And then there are other times when you just want to close your eyes and cry yourself to sleep, and never wake up."

She stares at me in silent comprehension. "I couldn't even cry for him, Dora – no tears."

"Why can't I just get over it? Everyone tells me it's time... but I can't!"

I nod. "I know it sounds impossible, but you have to make the decision. You have to learn to let her go, and know she will always be with you. You don't just get over it, it's a process." I pick up the picture, and turn it to face her. "Will you tell me about her? It helped me just to have someone who would listen." She takes the picture from my hands, and traces over the face with her finger.

"She liked to laugh. She didn't have a vampire laugh, it was loud, and off key, and she always laughed at the most inappropriate times." Her suitcase is forgotten, and I spend the next few hours just listening to her unburden her soul. I go from standing, to sitting on the bed with her, to moving close enough to hear her whispered words. As she recalls a painful memory, I put my arm around her shoulders. She flinches, but doesn't pull away.

After an afternoon of tears and revelations, I have my arm around her as she nestles against my side. I'm just sifting my fingers through her long blond hair when she looks up at me.

"I still want to kill you." A tiny smile darts across her face.

"That's okay. Alice wanted to kill me too, and she's my best friend." I reach around her neck and unfasten the collar. "You're still not off the hook, but I'm not going to drag you around by a leash. In fact, I think I'd rather you hold my hand."

"Why?"

"So I'll know where you are for one. And because it looks much better than a chain. And because a very smart man showed me how touching helps people heal."

"So what now?" She looks at the nearly packed suitcase.

"Finish packing. You're staying at my apartment tonight. But first, you're going to go and apologize to Aro's children.."

"I will not!"

"Yes you will. I don't care if you're sincere, but there are three kids who have it rough enough without what you did to them today. You can hate me and Aro all you want; we're adults. But those kids didn't do a thing to you, and you're going to apologize to them."

"You're not my mother – you can't boss me around!" I smile at her declaration. She's younger than Ness, and even though she's developmentally in her early twenties, she sounds like a spoiled pre-teen.

"I know I'm not your mother. But your own law says I'm your master, and you will do as I say." She glares at me angrily. "Finish packing. I'm not sure what will happen to your room, and I'd hate to see you lose something else that matters to you."

Fifteen minutes later, I pull her suitcase, while she carries two more bags slung over her shoulders. I hold her hand as we walk to the other part of the building. People still look at us strangely, but at least they don't stare.

"There aren't any windows," she complains. Nahuel's suite is a little nicer than hers, but she doesn't seem satisfied.

"You can have the bed, since I don't need it. This is where the council resides, so there are no windows for a reason."

"It's not very homey. It smells funny. Who lives here, a monk?" She has a sour look on her face as she wanders into the kitchenette. "There aren't even any groceries. Nothing but some weird brand of coffee."

"You know, I'm getting more and more convinced that your mother was a saint. Truly she was too good for this earth if she could put up with your attitude! You've got twenty minutes to put your things away, and find a place to stow that chip on your shoulder. I want you to be pleasant when we go to see Aro's children."

"You can't make..."

"Enough!" I cut her off. "I think I need to be saying you can't make me. Isn't that what your power is all about? You turn people into puppets against their will? It only stands to reason with what your father could do. You have some things to learn, and until you do, you belong to me. I'll be pulling your strings, and there's nothing you can do about it, unless you want Sabrina to pay the price." I hate talking to her like this, but I need for her to believe it's more than an empty threat.

"I hate you. I wish you were dead." She mutters as she goes about putting her things away.

"I don't hate you, and I'm glad you're not dead. How's that feel?" Her scowl deepens, but she doesn't say anything. I guess Mom was right, and you can kill em with kindness.

While I wait for her to calm down, I prowl thorough Nahuel's kitchen. If I'm going to be hosting a hybrid for an unknown amount of time, I'd need to have something for her to eat. "I need you to make a list of what kind of food you like to eat – and by that I mean human food, not humans as food."

She's in the doorway glaring at me. "Do you really think I'm that uncivilized? We only crave the blood when we're young and growing. It's been almost two months since I've had any blood. Most of us live on a high protein human diet. I want meat. I prefer steak, and I eat it thick and raw. The same goes for other meats. Some prefer their food cooked, and some do not. I don't eat pasta, bread, or cereal, and I only eat fresh vegetables and fruits, also raw."

"Thank you. Are you ready to go tell the kids you're sorry?'

Her disdainful look disappears. "Don't make me do this... please." I want to dismiss her plea, but there's just something in her look that goes beyond simple bad attitude.

"What's wrong? You have to tell me why, or we're going."

"Please... I can't face her."

"Aurora or Arianna?" I follow her as she turns away and sits on the bed again. "You tried to kill them. What's so difficult about facing them now?"

"Oh god... she's just so beautiful... I messed up her face..."

"Arianna? She's a pretty girl, but so are you." She looks up at me like she's never heard a compliment. "Oh come on, you have to know you're pretty! Didn't your mother ever tell you that?"

"I didn't believe her. She sort of had to say that since she was my mother. I'm just plain, and Arianna is..."

"Arianna is a troubled young girl who has been sexually abused since before her teens." Beauty seems unimportant to me in the harsh light of reality.

"I know. I was Joham's mate when he brought her into our bed." I gasp and collapse onto the bed beside her. "She didn't have a talent, so he didn't want to make her pregnant." Her head droops in shame, and she doesn't look at me. "I didn't excite him anymore, so he used her to get himself aroused, so he could mate with me.." I can't even say anything. I put my arms around her and hold her tight, not only to comfort her, but to comfort me.

"He was a monster... you poor thing! I'm so sorry no one was able to protect you from him."

"I thought I was special. My father told me I was chosen to be his mate so we could build a powerful dynasty together. I went to him willingly, but I hated what he did to me. Because I was a hybrid, he said he didn't have to be gentle with me. I put up with it at first because he was attentive to me, and he loved my power." Her voice dwindles to a tiny thread.

"But as the months passed and I didn't get pregnant, he became cold and abusive. He didn't want to give up, but he said I was defective. I was one of the few people he didn't control with his power – father insisted. But because he didn't control me, he beat me any time I displeased him; which was often. For almost three years he used me however he saw fit. He told me I was just a diversion and a substitute. He told me he would set me aside when he acquired his true mate."

I pull away and look at her. I can feel the full impact of the horror all over again. She is crying silently, and I wipe her tears with my fingers. She looks at me like a young doe as I speak. "Joham was a terrible creature. Dora, he thought my daughter was supposed to be his true mate. He engineered the whole war so he could get to her. He's the one responsible for the deaths of all those we love, don't you see?"

My words seem to hurt her, and I watch the look of horror take over her face.. She pulls away from me and the slow trickle of tears becomes a noisy flood as she runs for the bathroom.

"Dora, what's wrong? Don't hide in the bathroom, you can't fix it from there."

"It's all my fault." I can hear her sobbing and sniffling, and her voice is so small and dejected through the door..

"You need to come out of there." I hear her hitching sobs on the other side of the barrier. "Dora, get out here right now – and I mean that as an order!" I listen, and I can hear her opening cupboards and drawers. I think maybe she's trying to clean herself up, but then I smell blood, and lots of it.

"Dora!" I hope my scream will bring help, but I feel sick as I tear the door from it's hinges. In an instant I take in the scene. She's found Nahuel's old-fashioned razor and taken out the blade. A human suicide attempt would likely involve some kind of cuts on her wrists. But Dora is hybrid, and she's slashed her own throat in a way that would have quickly killed a human. I snatch the towel from the rack and hold it over the gushing wound, and scream for help.

Thankfully I'm not tempted much by hybrid blood, but she's already on the floor and bleeding out. I kneel beside her and pull her head into my lap, hoping to somehow elevate the wound. In seconds I'm covered in her blood, and I do all I can to stop her bleeding. I can hear her rapid heartbeat and feel her blood pressure dropping. She's going into shock.

"Stay with me Dora, hold on, help is on the way." I can only hope I"m right. "Stay calm and don't move, baby, it's going to be alright."

Her hand is feeble and covered in blood as she reaches up to me. "I'm sorry..." Her voice is a breathless whisper. "It's all my fault. He wouldn't have went after your girl... if I wasn't ugly and defective..." Her words tear through me like the razor she used to cut herself.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" I bend and pull her closer to me, until my cheek is pressed to hers. "No. It's not your fault! You're not ugly or defective, and it's not your fault! Stay with me baby, don't die!" I raise my voice and scream for help again. She looks so pale, and the way her heart races reminds me of feeding, when I can feel the animal's life coming to an end.

I'm just about to pick her up and run to find someone when I hear them come through the apartment door. I expect to see Alice or Aro, or even some of the hybrids who live on this floor. Instead the doctor we've seen just a few hours before comes in, with three helpers and a gurney. It feels like a minor miracle when they immediately begin working to save her.

I want to give them room to work, but her hand is in mine, and I don't want to let go. They immediately start an I.V. and begin giving her a blood transfusion. I can't help but wish Carlisle was the doctor working on her instead of the young Italian. But they seem to know what they're doing, and in minutes they have her ready to move.

I have to let go of her hand as they move her to the gurney, and her fingers are bloodless and limp. One of the helpers doesn't involve himself in her care, and I notice his white coat has the insignia of the Guard. I realize on some detached level, that he's there to keep the other vampires away from her. He doesn't stop me from running along beside them as they rush her from the suite.

The clinic is only a few rooms, but I recognize Carlisle's influence, as it's stocked as well as any hospital emergency room. They work furiously to save her life, and I'm left feeling completely useless and helpless. I'm only good at taking life, not saving it. The only good thing about being treated at Volterra as opposed to a real hospital, is that there are no forms to fill out. She's unconscious, and I decide to see if I can find her lover.

A/N: Don't worry, Carlisle will return. Next update should be on Thursday again.

Do the chapter reminders help?

I've just started to Beta a story called, "An Italian Winter" by Raum, who is Italian. She hasn't yet posted the first chapter, but it's finished in it's rough draft state, and she'll be posting a chapter a week when it's up. The woman can write, and it looks like a B/E set in Italy, where Edward is a musician still dealing with issues of his rebellion. She has five other stories up, if you want to check her out, since she's not yet getting the love she deserves.