A/N: Sorry, loves, for getting behind on updating. I've been very busy! First, I graduated with my second AA (in theatre, no less), won "Best Supporting Actress" for the college's awards show, and finished up the months-long planning of working at Phoenix Comicon. Truly a hectic couple of months. Oh, and I was almost on the jury for a high-profile murder trial... crazy stuff.

A dedication is at the end of this chapter. I felt the update should be read first before the news...

Chapter 20: My Prerogative

Ryan Wolfe sat quietly to himself in the break room as he watched his friends around the lab open a bottle of sparkling cider. It would have been champagne, but they were still on the clock.

The team prevented more deaths and cleared up yet another case of a missing fugitive. Only one more to go.

Walter asked earlier if Ryan cared to join in the celebration. He bowed out graciously and went looking instead for some pain medication. His previous encounter with Dante Kroll was beginning to catch up to him.

Busted lip. He hadn't felt that in a long time. Ryan winced at the touch of it. He wasn't sure what he was thinking going after a dangerous criminal alone like that…without backup. Did he think he was invincible? Or did he not care whether he lived or died?

The jury was still out on that deliberation.

At least they got the culprits. He smirked and shrugged at the thought.

"Ryan Wolfe, what were you thinking?" Natalia crooned as she entered the break room. She found him hunched over on the couch "licking his wounds". "Kroll is a trained fighter and murderer. He could have killed you."

Ryan just peered up and snared. "Why do you care?"

"Of course I care, Ryan." She sighed somberly and sat next to him. Her gentle eyes searched his battered face for all of the answers she longed for, but Ryan's callow form remained. "What's happening to us? We've been so close for so long, but it's like a wedge is forming between us."

"We're just growing apart," he deviated, something he did best-anything to get out of this conversation.

"That's not it, and you know it. You've been holding something back."

"No, I'm not Natalia."

"Yes, you are! Ever since Chad's letters, there's something you've been keeping from me!" Natalia's voice rose in agitation. I'm tired of this! Just confess it!

Ryan remained sedate. "I don't know what you're talking about." He stood up, advancing towards the exit. To him, the lecture was pointless; there was nothing Natalia or anyone could say to change it.

"Damn it, Ryan!" she shot up, fists clinched, "I know it was you who wrote the first letter!"

Ryan broke his stride at the threshold. No. His heart pounded in anxiety. This was everything he wished would never happen. He pivoted back and was greeted with an afflicted expression.

"I know about Christmas and Valentine's Day," Natalia continued in fiery, though her speech began to tremble. "I know everything."

Ryan stormed out. "Who told you?" he demanded, Natalia rushing after him. "Who told her!" he shouted.

The CSIs nearby, minus Horatio who was in his office, stiffened at the commotion, unsure what was happening.

"Was it you, Delko?" Ryan sneered. "Or maybe Calleigh?" He circled the area waiting for an answer. "Who else knows I sent the first letter, huh? The whole lab?"

"I didn't know," peeped Jay.

"Shut up," Ryan hissed. His eyes met with everyone's focus, not a single one showing confusion. "My God! I can't trust anyone here!"

"What do you know about trust?" Calleigh snapped.

"Babe, don't," Eric pulled her back. She wiggled out of his grasp.

"This entire time, all you've done is lie to Natalia and then make her "fall out of love" with you by having her fall in love with Jay!"

"WHAT?" Natalia blew. "What I do and who I fall in love with is my decision!" She scuffed, disgusted. "Truth be told, I don't even like you very much, Ryan Wolfe."

Jay let out a hearty bellow.

"Shut up!" Natalia commanded.

"Well, my plan worked, didn't it?" Ryan bolted away from the gathering and down the hall. "You're in love now, aren't you?" He threw his hands up in repulsion.

"And what makes you think you succeeded?" Natalia questioned as she trailed behind, her heels clacking against the tiled floor.

From his office, Horatio caught the interesting clamor between his workers and gently began stepping out in the hall.

"Jay told me all about your "repayment" to him for helping you." Natalia shook her head. "He told me you slept with him."

Of course he did, jackass, Natalia cursed. She would deal with him later.

"So, go! Fall in love and live your life just the way I intended you to!" It came out wrong, much like most of his recent conversations with the brunette.

She clutched tightly to Ryan's forearm and pulled back, her eyes a steely determination. "Look, Wolfe. Whether or not that is true is none of your business. Who I sleep with is none of your business. And now who I fall in love with is none of your business. You have no right to control my life. I wouldn't let Nick do it, and I certainly will not let you do it."

Ryan took in the speech carefully and noticed a tight pressure against his chest. Guilt consumed him. "You're right. I'm sorry." He pulled away and met face to face with his boss.

"H, the job. I'm accepting it."

"You're what?" Natalia cried.

The red head stammered, taken aback. "I didn't know you applied, Mr. Wolfe."

"Do you need my two week notice?"

"Uh…no."

"Thanks. I'll visit HR to finish the paperwork." He bolted off again, certain what he was doing was right. He made his way towards the elevator.

"Ryan, what the hell is going on?" Natalia questioned, once again trailing right behind. "What job? Ryan, talk to me!" This time she reached for his shoulder and spun him to her. Without a second thought, she entwined her quivering lips to his. The passion heated up at every second. Onlookers-Calleigh, Eric, Walter, even Jay-stood motionless…wide-eyed…a little uncomfortable even.

"Should we leave them alone or something?" questioned Walter.

To Ryan, the kiss was beautiful, but it was the wrong time for the wrong reason. He drew her off of him and shook his head. "This is my fault, Talia. I should have been honest with you in the beginning. I ruined it. But I'm doing something about it now."

"Ry-?"

He retreated to the stairs, turned away, and didn't look back.

A/N: This story is officially dedicated to Forensic Kitteh, aka TheyAteMySanity on twitter, who, according to many of her friends posting on her wall on facebook, has unfortunately passed away. She was a devoted RaiN fan, and I'm sorry we fell out of touch. Rest peacefully.