"Doctor Cheskie, you observed and interviewed Detective Benson?" Barba didn't want to do anymore that day, but he had no choice.
"Yes. I observed her a week after her attack." The doctor replied confidently.
"During your observation, you were aware of the discrepancy between Detective Benson's statement and the evidence found?"
"Yes."
Then Barba cut into it like he knew he had to. "And in your professional opinion, did she deliberately lie, or was this simply something she was unaware of?"
Ben couldn't object. The psychiatrist was a professional and experienced Olivia's behavior directly.
"The way she explained that situation, vey disconnected and distant, tells me that she's trying to fill in holes of what she doesn't remember. After four days of extreme emotional distress, little to no sleep, mental and physical torture, she was going into survival mode." Doctor Cheskie used his hands to accentuate the words he used.
Barba nodded. "Why didn't she begin detaching from the situation before the point where she attacked the suspect with a metal bar?"
"When I spoke to her about that very event, Detective Benson told me that he'd disclosed to her about an event in his young life that prompted him to live the life he did. And moments before she whipped the metal bar at him, he had asked her to shoot him, taunting her." The doctor was so calm as he spoke, which Barba was thankful for.
The jury believed him, that was obvious.
"And she just - snapped?" Barba prompted him to go on.
"After four days of enduring what she went through, she did what anyone would - she hit her breaking point. Detective Benson was in another mind when she took that bar to the suspect."
"What else led you to that conclusion, Doctor?" Barba took it as far as he could.
"She told me about the statement she'd given to IAB, telling them that the events after she felt the metal of the pole in her hands were a blur. She told me she only saw what had happened when she dropped the pole and saw the suspect. This temporary blackout she experienced is very common in situations like this where traumatic events take an extreme toll on the victim." The doctor finished.
Rafael was happy. "Thank you. Nothing further."
Ben was ready to sink his teeth into this witness, hoping to draw the jury's focus back to the lies Benson had told.
Brian and Olivia talked a little over breakfast, sipping their coffee slowly while they sat in the living room. Snow was making a comeback outside the windows, coating New York City in a fresh blanket of powder.
"You know, whatever way this turns out, Lewis won't walk again." Brian brought up what he was thinking about as they sat.
Olivia swallowed, thinking about the looks she'd seen in both Nick and Brian's eyes. Lewis would end up in jail for life, or he'd end up dead. It took a moment for her to nod.
"I know. I just hope it doesn't have to happen that way. He doesn't need to ruin anybody else's life." She gave him an expression he could easily read, and he understood right away.
He could tell she knew what he'd do if Lewis walked. That beast would get what he had coming.
Olivia took another sip of her warm coffee and took a deep breath, letting her eyes close for a while.
"So what are we going to do today?" Brian asked her, changing the subject.
She opened her eyes to look at him. "Just sit here."
She reached out for his hand, starting to feel again. From the listless way she'd felt before, Olivia could finally feel herself willed to move on. When the trial was over, even before, life had to go on.
"So, Detective Benson admitted to you that she lied?" Ben started his questions with a harsh tone, a small grin on his face.
"She told me she had said -"
Ben interrupted the doctor. "Yes or no?"
The doctor sighed. "Yes."
"And she then told you that she didn't remember beating the crap out of William Lewis?"
Barba sat helplessly as Ben grilled Doctor Cheskie.
"What she told me was -"
"Yes or no, Doctor." Barba jumped up upon Ben's second interruption.
"Objection. Your honor, the doctor is trying to clarify what happened and Mr. Cohen won't let him finish a sentence." Barba's words were intelligible and witty.
Ben put his hands up in disgust. "Your honor." He rolled his eyes as the judge contemplated.
"I agree with Mr. Barba. Answer the question, Doctor."
Doctor Cheskie nodded at the judge.
"Detective Benson told me that she felt ashamed she couldn't remember what had happened, so she tried to make herself believe that what she thought might have happened." His words were forceful.
He silently recalled the afternoon with the detective. She was reserved, obviously a traumatized woman.
"But she did lie?"
Barba heard his own mouth open again. "I think we've been over this, your Honor." He put his hands together.
"Agreed. Move on, Mr. Cohen."
Ben didn't react. "Dr. Cheskie, you do know that the symptoms of concussion are amnesia and bouts of unconsciousness?"
The doctor shifted and made a puzzled face for a bit, unsure of what it had to do with his testimony. "Yes."
"Could Detective Benson's concussion have caused this 'momentary,' as you claim, bout of forgetfulness, shall we call it?" Ben crossed his arms as he interrogated the witness.
"I suppose so, yes."
Ben smiled. "Nothing further."
Rafael stayed seated. "Doctor Cheskie, what specific details of the attack did Detective Benson recall?"
"The address on the mailbox, the license plate on the minivan, the layout of the home to name a few." Doctor Cheskie answered.
"So this one window of time Detective Benson doesn't recall was caused, in your professional opinion, by a concussion or severe emotional traumatization?"
A moment was taken by the doctor to weigh the options. "As I saw it first hand, the way she could recall specific details and only had one moment she couldn't recall details from, I do have confidence in saying the detective was suffering from four days of extreme traumatization and emotional distress. She didn't know what she was doing because her mind went into survival mode to keep her from self destructing."
Rafael was feeling better again. "Nothing further."
Nick watched them take Lewis out of the courtroom after Doctor Cheskie was dismissed and court adjourned for the day. The smile he got from the perpetrator made his eyebrows go farther down on his face. He hated everything about the man, and he just then realized how large of a man he really was. As the bailiffs led him out, Nick saw how Lewis dwarfed them.
Olivia had been beaten to a pulp by a man a foot taller than her and a good 140 pounds heavier. To take advantage of a woman who couldn't even defend herself made him a coward. Binding her with handcuffs made him afraid, afraid of Detective Olivia Benson. He found himself smiling. William Lewis had been afraid of her, and she had called him out on it.
Then Nick's smile fell. She'd been afraid of him too. And she'd had good reason to be afraid. With a shake of his head, Nick left the room. The air was sharply colder than it had been that morning, snow coming down in sheets as the weathermen had predicted. The weather added to the dark mood oppressing everyone in that courtroom. He walked down to where a taxi stopped for him. It was another night of uncertainty.
Barba packed his things and turned around to find Olivia's brother standing behind him, awaiting his attention.
"I'm Simon Marsden, Liv's brother." He held out his hand for Barba to shake, which he did.
"So I've heard. You have something on your mind, Simon?" The lawyer went back to holding his briefcase as the courtroom emptied out.
Simon took a deep breath. "Look, I'm not - good with all this law stuff. What shape is this case in?" The fact that he had no idea if the man who brutally attacked his sister would even go to prison made Simon sick to his stomach.
"Well." Barba shifted his weight to his left foot and began walking out, motioning for Simon to do the same.
"It's a toss-up at this point." He opened the door and stopped in the hallway.
"Lewis does have a case that might convince the jury. But we have a strong case against him. It just depends on how the jury interprets the evidence." Barba finished.
It felt good to tell the truth. The difficulty to keep in the fears that the trial could blow up, the jury leaning toward Lewis was unbearable.
Simon digested the words slowly and moved his gaze to the giant pillars of marble around him.
"Ok. But you're - you're doing everything you can, right?" He went on to make sure.
Barba nodded, smiling a little at the deep concern Simon had for Olivia. He shared that feeling with a lot of other people, Barba included.
"Absolutely."
Olivia slept from 3:00 to 5:30, settled comfortably on the couch. The sleep was peaceful all afternoon which relieved Brian. He sat at the small table in the living room, finishing the paperwork he had put off until the trial was over. Her features were completely relaxed, her breathing steady and even.
It was relief beyond words for Brian as he glanced very once in a while to find her still deep in rest. She hadn't slept for more than an hour and a half at a time in over three months, and there she was, finally sleeping the afternoon away. Olivia was more tired than she let on. She was exhausted in every way. Brian even wondered how she functioned on the little sleep she got. But that day it was hers to spend how she wanted, and she spent it getting what she longed for most - restful sleep. A small miracle, but still a miracle.
Munch, knowing he and everyone else formerly on his squad couldn't stand to keep it all bottled up, called the four squad members to his home that night for supper. Over a meal, food they didn't bother to give themselves on a regular basis, the team let it out.
"I just feel like I should be able to do more." Nick spoke freely, feeling comfortable enough to do so.
They all agreed.
"The way the defense rips into every witness Barba calls - I just don't want to see what he'll do to Liv up there." Fin interjected with a different thought.
Amanda took a drink from her glass of water. "Is he going to walk again?" She heard the words tumble out.
Cragen was thankful someone said it, simply because he knew that was one of the things pressing on their minds.
"The way it's looking now -" Munch wasn't afraid to speak what he thought could be the hard truth of the matter.
"He could." Cragen finished for him.
Even though that fear had been pitted in every single person's stomach since the beginning of the trial, it became almost unbearable at the verbal realization that it might be true. Silence struck them all.
"Whether or not they let him off, Liv will have been his last victim." Nick's voice was dark, his gaze directed to where a drop of condensation on the outside of his glass made its way to the table cloth.
The captain wanted to tell him not to think that way, but even he knew there was no changing Nick's mind.
"I haven't been sleeping very well ever since Liv came home. It's like I keep replaying it all in my head." Munch was surprised at the truth that was slipping forth from his mouth.
"Me too." Fin added.
"Yeah." Amanda agreed quietly.
"I wish I could go back." Cragen sounded his regret.
"Two days. We would have known if we'd expected her at work." The guilt had never been lifted from their captain, as they each could see.
And no one could blame him, as they felt twinges of their own guilt lurking within them all day every day.
"If I would have taken her home, he wouldn't have gotten the jump on her." Nick spoke his aloud as well.
"I should have taken her out with me and Rollins." Fin nodded.
"I should have been here." Munch swallowed hard.
The night was one of healing as they spoke the feelings that had been threatening to burst out of them. To be heard was relieving. To listen was a blessing.
Barba went home after court, too tired to work anymore. His mind was going in circles, thinking about everything he could have said that he didn't, going through what he did ask, pondering the juror's faces.
It dizzied him.
He allowed himself only one look at the docket for Monday, already knowing who the sole witness would be. Olivia. A shaky hand got him a drink of water while his eyes threatened to close and remain that way every time he blinked.
His case was suffering when it had been his to win from the beginning. He would put Lewis away. He had no choice.