(A/N) I just wanted to say thank you for sticking with me – I love reading all of your reviews, and it makes me feel good to know that people enjoy my writing.
So, as a reward, here's a little bit of Derek opening up ;)
We didn't say anything while we traveled. I wasn't entirely sure where we were going, in fact, I had no idea where we were going. I knew Derek would take us to the right spot, so I didn't bother worrying.
I didn't feel like talking to him, so I didn't ask. Normally, I would have, just for an excuse to talk to somebody. Now, with him looking over at me occasionally and opening his mouth, it seemed our roles were reversed.
"Chloe?" He finally said, sounding suspicious.
"Yes, Derek?" I replied, voice perfectly blank.
He seemed taken aback for a moment by the apathy I spoke with. Then he got over it and asked, "Aren't you mad?"
"Who said I wasn't?"
He scowled that familiar scowl. "No one. It's just, you're not yelling. Or arguing. You're just..." He made a gesture with his hands, looking helpless as he tried to find words to communicate what he was saying.
I wanted to help him, smile and offer my opinion. Instead, I fixed a stony stare on him, lifted an eyebrow, and sarcastically asked, "Is that what you would prefer?"
"No."
I couldn't blame him for expecting me to scream some more. I'd chewed him out pretty badly earlier, but I was over that now. Now? I was going to act mature. Just not let him get to me.
In turn, I'd gotten to him. He was confused, trying to figure me out. Part of me liked that he was putting forth some kind of effort, but part of me wished he'd just go away and leave me alone. I wasn't sure which part was bigger, so I just stuck to my guns and acted like he wasn't bothering me. Like I'd never exploded on him, like he'd never pissed me off.
Coolly, I returned, "Okay, then."
He blinked, brow crinkling again, this time in puzzlement. He was staring at me, hard, like maybe my face would reveal something. I made sure it didn't. Then, he blinked again, over my shoulder.
Derek was concentrating. On what, I wasn't entirely sure, but I could've sworn I heard him mutter, "I don't know why I even care. Or bother."
I didn't either. Normally, I would've tried to figure it out. But I was too angry and upset to go into 'crack Derek's shell' mode.
He turned his glistening green eyes on me. They caught the light from a street lamp, illuminating them rather beautifully. I stared at his nose instead. "I thought we could stop at a motel. Give you a real break for a night." The way he said it was even more uncertain than before, like he thought for sure I'd start yelling at any given moment.
I didn't say anything about how I'd be fine if he wanted to keep traveling. I just told him in the same scarily even tone, "Okay."
Silence.
I kept walking, but he didn't insist on power walking like earlier. In fact, he seemed to match his pace to mine while still being the leader, which confused me. What had caused the sudden change?
"Chloe?" This time, i could definitely pick up on his uneasiness. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, looking kinda cute, like an embarrassed five year old. Honestly, it was a good look for him, with none of the hardness I'd come to expect.
"Yes, Derek?"
He stopped abruptly before turning to face me directly. "I'm..."
He cut himself off and started walking again, this time at a normal pace. Over his shoulder, he tossed a muttered, "Never mind."
The room wasn't anything special. Just a double bed and a couch, which Derek pointed to and said he'd sleep on. I didn't argue, just plopped down on my bed and turned on the TV, hoping to find a movie that I liked.
Finally, I settled on a romantic comedy I never would've chosen if I had any other options. I held in a groan as the cheesy plot unfolded. Unbelievably gorgeous guy likes unbelievably gorgeous girl who, in turn, realizes the feelings are mutual. Complete crap, if you asked me. Apparently, Derek thought so too. "You watch these things?"
"No."
He didn't say anything, then ground out, "Oh."
He shut up after that and let me watch the remaining thirty minutes. The ending was supposed to be heart wrenching, but I only rolled my eyes and murmured, "Oh, please." I turned the TV off, not feeling up to sitting through another dose of pure torture.
I glanced over at the clock. 9:30. Too early to go to bed? Clearly, I wouldn't be talking to Derek-
"This is just getting weird," He said.
So apparently, I would be talking to Derek.
"What is?" Even though I clearly knew what he was talking about. And he knew that I knew.
He glowered at me, and I was glad to finally see him acting like himself, rather than all... nice. It didn't mean anything if he was only being kind so I'd talk to him, which I guess could have been considered flattering, but I preferred not to think of it that way.
"You're just acting stupid."
I could feel my eyes widen. "So you're trying to get me to not be mad at you by insulting me?" I stumbled over the awkward wording, but there was no other way to convey my point.
Derek was smart, and he got it. He gets you, A voice whispered, and I ignored it. He snorted, jerking me back to something I could deal with. "Who says I care?"
"Oh, save it," I snapped, finally letting myself feel something. Triumph flashed in his eyes, and I wished I could take the flare of emotion back. "If you didn't care, then why bring it up? To make a point no one else cares about ?"
I was being unreasonable. I was being bitchy, and for no good reason.
What was my reason?
Oh, I knew. I just didn't want to admit it because it would hurt way too much, and I refused to let Derek see me cry because he would never let it go. He'd never be the guy to hold a girl when they broke down. He'd probably just use it as ammo in the future.
Chloe, you know that isn't true. He was being kind of sweet earlier...
My conscience was right, but that didn't mean I had to like it. I frowned.
A quick glance at Derek, and I noticed him wearing the same look from before. "Stop that!"
"Stop what?" Genuine confusion.
I groaned, finding it harder to stay mad. I'd never been one to hold resentment, but when he was staring at me that way, it was even harder. "Stop giving me that look. Like- like you're some puppy that just got kicked." He glared at me again. "And I'm the one who kicked you."
"I don't look like a puppy." He spoke carefully, like he was worried that by contradicting me I'd lose it.
Tears began to sting at my eyes. Maybe, like my anger at the world, I'd been holding them in. But I was not crying. I wouldn't explode. I would deal. "I'm not pathetic, you know."
His eyes flickered. "What do you mean?"
He actually wanted to know. Derek wasn't the kind of person who would pretend to care about your problems if he didn't. If he didn't want to listen to you whine and moan, he'd walk away, no questions asked.
The fact that he actually seemed concerned about offending me was pretty amazing, not to mention out of character. And I still didn't get what caused this change. Was me getting mad at him finally a wake-up call for him to stop acting like such a jerk?
Finally, I decided that because he stopped, he deserved to know why I was mad. No one deserved to be brushed off without knowing why. I knew what that was like, and I didn't wish it on anyone, especially not one of my friends.
I shrugged, trying to figure out how to explain. "When you told me I couldn't take care of myself... I hated it. I've always hated that feeling, of being helpless. What's worse? When people think they can make it better by bossing you around. Happened to me a lot. That's why I overreacted."
When I was a girl, everyone called me Stutter. I got upset and told my aunt, so she took me to see a speech therapist. The doctor always told me it wasn't something I could control, that I was just born that way.
Later, I got told the same thing about schizophrenia. That there was nothing I could do... except let them push me around. Derek didn't know, of course, but that was how he made me feel. Like I was in an office again being told what was best for me by strangers who didn't care, who didn't want to care.
He didn't mean to. I could see it in the look that flashed across his face for just a second. He wouldn't say it, though, because he didn't know how to talk to people. He understood. I could see that, too.
I looked at him then, really looked at him. A sharp jawline with a strong nose. Pale, but not sallow, skin with a few slight acne scarring discolorations, nothing noticeable unless you were openly staring at him like I was. And of course, his beautiful eyes.
I imagined the look on my face. Daring him to speak because I knew there was something on the tip of his tongue. Would he say it though?
He took in a breath. "The Edison Group only experimented on a few subjects that were my kind. I'm one of them."
I nodded my head, hoping to appear encouraging. I felt my anger evaporate. He couldn't even look at me directly while he was talking, like this was incredibly painful and he didn't want to seem weak.
Only he didn't seem weak, not at all. He only seemed stronger, in my eyes.
"We're really protective. Possessive, too." A sharp laugh. "We form... cliques, you could say. Out of the five of us, there was only room for a clique of four. I wasn't part of it."
I pictured Derek, alone, even at a small age. Watching other kids enviously, wanting to talk to them, wanting to be friends with them. Then, eventually, he just wouldn't care anymore. He just wouldn't try until he became a loner, like he was now. Sympathy washed over me for about the billionth time that day.
"Sometimes, I'd try and play with them." A shadow flitted over his eyes. "They didn't like that. I was always big, always strong. Even so, when it's four against one... well, you can imagine how that went."
He shook his head, finally meeting my gaze. "I get it. What it's like."
"What what's like?"
His shoulders rolled and he set his jaw. "Being the weakest link. Or at least feeling like it."
Derek? Feeling weak? Derek admitting to feeling weak? I only stared at him dumbly, not sure I'd heard him right. Finally, when I could get my brain wrapped around what he said, I replied, "We handled it differently, I bet. I let myself get bulldozed over. But you?" I smiled. "I bet you didn't take it."
"Depends on what you mean. I never... stuck up for myself when they'd hit me for no reason. I'd just wait it out. And in the end, I was the only one to survive. Sometimes, the weakest link is actually the strongest. The smartest. The most resourceful." He shrugged, and I knew that was the best compliment he'd ever given.
That wasn't why I was glowing. I felt floaty, but it wasn't all because of Derek's indirect form of flattery.
It was because he'd finally opened up to me.
"Thank you. For telling me." For apologizing, in your own way.
He grunted. "Go to sleep. Long day ahead of us."
I nodded, and when my head hit the pillow, I could've sworn I saw one familiar pair of emerald eyes haunting my dreams.
(A/N) What did you think? I tried to reason out Chloe's anger and hurt as well as I could, and I'm not sure if it made enough sense :/ Derek was hard to keep in character as well. Overall, this was just a difficult chapter to write, my apologies if it's not up-to-par.
