A new life
It took days for me to get over my engagement. I couldn't stop smiling at first. It was very hard for me to say good-bye to Keith, and then to my friends. At least with Keith, the teachers were allowing him to come back on weekends. I wouldn't see my friends or my brother until the baby came. It seemed really odd when second term started and I wasn't going back. I knew I was going to miss it there, even if I was relieved at the same time.
"Are you going to be okay?" Mum asked me after Michael, Ashley and Ben disapparated away.
"I'll be fine. It's better this way. I am going to miss Hogwarts, but at least I am getting it over with now. The seventh years always get so weepy at the end of the school year. I mean, I am weepy but I can come to terms with it before they do. Mine is mostly hormones anyway. I'll see them in March, and then I'll see them again at Easter Break. They are all coming back to see me and Michelle," I answered her. "It will be strange because even in the summers we haven't really gone so long without seeing each other, but I'll get used to it. I am just glad I don't have to walk up and down those stairs anymore. My back gets more and more sore, and I didn't think that was possible. It got to the point where Ashley had to tie my shoes for me!"
"I do want to make sure you are relaxing," mum told me. "I am going to be working for a few more days, but then I'll be home full time to take care of you."
"I know," I said. "I do want to go out and about still mum. I don't want to be in restricted bed rest or chair rest. Healer Smeck said it's a good idea for me to still go for walks."
"Not today," mum said. "It's icy out today."
"I know," I answered. "Dad said he'd come over to walk with me too. And the tutor will be here in a few days. He wrote to me last night. He said he'd come over and that we were going to do two subjects a day. That seems a lot more relaxing than all the classes at Hogwarts. I hope it still prepares me though."
"I'm sure it will," mum said. "I've heard he is a very good tutor. I looked into it after your dad gave me the name. He hasn't has a failing student yet."
"Good," I answered. "If I can get all E's on my NEWTs I'll be happy."
I did have to wonder if this was going to be suffocating for me. I did appreciate how much mum wanted to look out for me, and at times it was nice to be waited on hand and foot, but I didn't want it all the time. I did want to get some fresh air still, and I had seen girls a lot more pregnant than me out and about. I understood why they wanted someone with me if it was icy out, but not on a mild day. Tomorrow was suppose to be a bit warmer and so the ice would melt. Thankfully mum would be at work, so I figured I could get out with her gone.
I did end up going to bed early that night, but it wasn't usual and after the emotional day I'd had, it wasn't too much of a surprise. Michelle moved around a lot more than she used to. So a lot of the time I'd wake up and then fall back to sleep. I figured this was preparing me for when Michelle did come. I'd heard it was at least every couple of hours that babies woke up, and she was already waking me up that often. Thankfully being at home meant that I could nap as much as I wanted. It could have also been why my tutor decided on two subjects a day. He knew I was into my seventh month. He had tutored other mums to be, including muggles apparently.
Michelle had me up at five as usual, but now at home I went back to bed instead of just getting up. I ended up sleeping until about eight, and I was happy to know that the apartment was empty. I hadn't had time to myself in so long. Either my friends were there, Keith was there, my brother was there or mum was. No one let me be alone, and I did still need some alone time. In March, it would be a very long time before I'd be alone again. It would be something I'd have to talk to mum about. I wanted her to know that I needed some peace too.
Michelle must have been asleep because she wasn't moving. After I used the loo, I made myself some breakfast and then watch some telly. There wasn't really anything on though, and I was sick of being cooped up inside. So I decided I could go for a walk. I figured the ice must have melted by that point, but if the streets were still icy, I'd come back.
While I was in the lift, the doors opened and I was shocked to be face to face with Zachary. It had been so long since I'd really seen him. He stared back at me in shock as he took in my appearance, but then a slow smirk appeared on his face.
"So you've finally gone and gotten yourself knocked up. I'm not surprised to be honest. Do you actually know who the father is?"
"Yes," I snapped feeling my face go red. I'd gotten away from the judgmental people. I didn't need it at home. "It's my fiances baby. I'm still with Keith."
"I've seen him around, but you haven't always been faithful," Zachary answered with a shrug. "I do remember you were with a fellow named Stan when we shagged. You're still quite hot, even with that belly. I've heard pregnant women are really horny too. If you're up for it-" I slapped him hard.
"Bloody hell Ellen!" He said angrily. "It was a joke."
"I'm not so sure it was!" I snapped angrily. "I've changed since I was fourteen. I am not going to cheat on Keith. I've always regretted that. I feel terrible for what I did. It's my biggest regret. I will never ever put Keith through that. He is the only man I've been with in the last year and a half. I love him and no one else. We weren't careful one night, and now I'm having a baby."
Zachary rolled his eyes and then sighed. "Fine, maybe I was out of line. Bloody hell you hit hard. I would shag you, so you're right. I wasn't kidding."
"Keith is the only one I am going to shag," I told him. "And I want you to go away."
"Where are you going?" Zachary asked me.
"For a walk!" I snapped. "I need to get out. I've been cooped up inside and I just need a walk."
"Well I am not doing anything," he said. "I was just going to get some groceries but that can wait. It's still kind of icy. I'll walk around with you."
"I don't need you!" I said.
"Yes well I don't want you to slip and fall. You need someone. If I had to guess, you're about seven months pregnant. I won't touch you and I'll even walk a distance from you, but I am going to stay with you," he said. "I can't live with myself if I let you go and you slip and fall."
I sighed. He had a point and I did want to go out. I wasn't going to let my stubborness get in the way.
"Fine," I answered. "But no more teasing or making shag jokes."
"I'll be a quiet escort," he said.
Despite the fact that he said he'd keep his distance, he stayed by my side as we left the lift. I honestly didn't mind this too much. I figured it would have been awkward to have him following me. I also couldn't help but wonder about his life as well. There had been a time when we'd hung out quite a bit over my holidays. So once we left our building, I asked him how his life was.
"Quite boring," he answered. "Most people have moved on to University or College or they moved away. I really don't see anyone my own age anymore. I've actually been looking for you, but I figured since you were that Keith bloke, you probably wouldn't want to talk to me."
"I don't mind talking to you if it's only just talking," I said. "I am getting married and I'm having a baby. I'm not the same person that I was two years ago. A lot has happened to change my outlook in life."
"I can see that," he answered. "What about your friend Ashley? Is she single?"
"No, she is engaged to be engaged," I answered him. "Ben bought a ring for her a year ago. He just hasn't proposed yet."
"I can understand in your situation, but I think they're too young to get engaged," Zachary replied. "I don't get why people get married so young. Aren't they only seventeen?"
"Eighteen, and if you know you're with the one, there is no point in waiting," I told him.
"How can you know who the one is at eighteen?" He asked. "I've never considered I'd find someone in secondary school."
"Most people don't," I said. "My friend Michael hasn't. Only a lucky few actually do. I never would have thought that either. Keith was the one even before I got pregnant. I knew that within a month of dating him. It was him that helped me get over Ben."
"Still seems odd to me," Zachary said with a shrug. "But then again I'm not ready to be tied down."
"So why are you still living at home?" I asked him. "You used to talk about having freedom and everything. I can't imagine you get any living at home. I know I don't. I know your parents were never strict, but still."
"I'm saving for a house," Zachary answered. "I don't want to rent a flat. I want a nice little house and outside of London. It's too expensive here."
"And why didn't you go to college or university then?" I asked him.
"Never had an idea of what I wanted to do for careers," he answered. "I don't want to work in some office. I'm a people person, so I don't mind working with customer service."
"But you could work with people if you went to college," I pointed out to him.
"Nothing that interested me," he replied back. "I have no problem with working in a restaurant. If I change my mind in the future, then I'll consider going back. Right now, I know I would be miserable to keep going to classes. I'd rather just buy a place and get my life started. Why get in debt when you don't have to be?"
"But won't you get in debt by buying a place?" I asked and Zachary laughed.
"That is different. My money is going somewhere. Why are you asking so much about school anyway? You're not going either," Zachary said.
"I'm just curious about your life," I answered but I could understand his point. I actually didn't judge people about that, even if I wasn't in my situation. I said to him and he nodded.
"I just don't see the point in being miserable in classes," Zachary answered. "I hated school so much. I think it was enough I finished school. I can save money by living at home for a few years and be comfortable. So what about you then? I mean, you're seventeen and you're pregnant. Didn't you want to try and play for a professional woman's soccer team?"
"That was just a pipe dream," I said. "Even before I got pregnant."
I didn't know enough about women's soccer teams or how they made a living or anything. It was just something I'd told Zachary when I'd told him about my love for 'soccer' and how much I loved playing. No one had questioned it, so I figured there must have been some out there.
"Glad you're figuring that out," Zachary said. "I mean, I'm sure you're good but it's not often people get picked for professional teams. So what are the plans now? How do you plan to support yourself and that baby?"
"I'm staying home for the first year," I answered. "Keith basically has a job lined up as soon as he finishes school. Someone at school suggested that maybe I could write about soccer but I am not much for writing. Keith told me to take the time to figure out. We're staying with my mum until we can save enough money to get a place. I think mum is really hoping that we'll get a flat in our building. I don't think that's a bad idea."
"And when is the wedding?" Zachary asked. "You're not planning to live with your mum as a married couple are you?"
"No," I answered. "We're staying with mum until we're married. We are thinking sometime in July. Dad asked me the other day if we'd be willing to have it in his backyard. I am still thinking about it."
"So your dad is back in your life then?" Zachary asked and I nodded.
It actually ended up being a good morning with him. By the time we got back to the building, we were talking like old friends again. I think he hoped for an invitation to the wedding, but there was no way that was going to happen. I didn't want him there, and I knew Keith definitely wouldn't. I didn't even know how he would feel about the fact that I'd been talking to Zachary. He knew all about our past after all.
After talking about my wedding with Zachary, I decided to work on wedding plans some more. Ashley of course was my Maid of Honour and I'd told her that the day before. I couldn't believe that she'd actually been surprised. There was no one else who deserved the role more. I knew it was going to be hard for her to help me plan the wedding, but I knew she'd do her best when she could. Mum and I could do most of it. I just wanted her to be up there with me when I got married.
I had also really wanted Timmy with me as well. Keith and me both wanted Lance and Timmy to stand up with us junior groomsmen. Neither wanted that role though. They both just wanted to sit and watch instead. I couldn't really blame them. Timmy would be thirteen and Lance would be twelve by that point. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed though. We were just going to use the Hufflepuff boys as groomsmen and of course Dan was Keith's best man. The entire wedding would be a Hufflepuff wedding party, and I thought it was very fitting.
Back in first year, I never would have thought all the people we'd been sorted with would be standing up with us. That had changed over the years. We were all leaving school together, and we were all becoming adults together. I felt that my wedding was the first step into all of us leaving our childhood together, and I was sure all of them agreed with this.
The tutor dad hired was very friendly (and I couldn't help but notice how handsome, even though he was older) and he was very smart. Dad had obviously did everything he could to make sure that I had a good tutor. He had taken this very seriously, and it was another step in the direction for me to forgive him. Every time he did something for me or my brother, I could feel myself even loving him again.
The tutors name was Ned Hendricks and he was a muggleborn who worked with both muggles and wizards. He tutored both and I had to wonder how he knew so much about muggles school work if he'd gone to Hogwarts. He didn't seem to like talk about himself however. He would change the subject any time I tried to ask him anything personal. He would just go back to whatever subject we were studying. He was intelligent though. I could bring up any topic in the wizarding world or the muggle world and he could rattle off facts quite quickly.
By the end of the first two weeks of working with him, I understood more about Transfiguration then I ever had in the first five years at Hogwarts.
"Why aren't you a teacher at Hogwarts?" I couldn't help but blurt out.
"Because I wanted to teach all subjects," he answered. "There really isn't that much of demand for tutors outside of Hogwarts, so it's why I chose this as a career. Now, on your OWLs-"
I couldn't help but sigh as he went back to my Transfiguration exam. I wanted to know more about this older man who I was spending every week day with for four or five hours a day (depending on his other students and how well I did) but he didn't want to discuss much outside of our sessions. I knew he had two other students at the moment besides me. They were kids whose parents had decided not to send to Hogwarts. One was a seventh year like me, and another was a fifth year. I couldn't help but wonder if the seventh year would have been a Hufflepuff like us. Would we have been friends? I thought it was shame he or she (Ned refused to tell me anything about them, including their gender) had missed out on Hogwarts.
I also wondered how he had time to tutor people, or how he managed to tutor the muggle students too. I had so many questions for this man. Perhaps they were questions I would have to ask my father. I supposed that was another reason for why he was a good teacher. He did seem passionate about teaching, and making sure that I was prepared for both my OWLs and NEWTs.
When I wasn't having my tutoring sessions, I was busy helping mum decorate Michelle's room some more. Ashley's mother had given me a cradle and I decided to keep that in my room for the time being. I could let the baby sleep in it for the first few weeks or so.
I thought I was going to be really bored, but between school work, preparing for the wedding, preparing for Michelle's arrival and all the visitors, I really wasn't. I was actually exhausted at night. Keith would come home on the weekends to visit, and at times I would fall asleep during his visit. He didn't seem to mind. I would try and convince him to stay at Hogwarts when they were having parties. He seemed a little off, and I didn't know why. At times I was worried it was because he was having cold feet or something. We never really got the chance to have deep conversations like we used to. I was too tired, or he was and our message to each other on the parchments were always short and sweet. We were both so busy.
I was also worried about Ashley. Michael was writing to me constantly and telling me that she was taking on too much, and he thought that she was skipping meals and not getting enough sleep. When I wrote to her to ask how things were going, she would tell me that things were fine. I didn't find out until later that the fifth and sixth year prefects were basically putting all their work on her, and so was Ted. So between her Head Duties, her Maid of Honour duties and her homework, she was doing way too much. It was Michael who ended up going to Professor Sprout to let her know what was going on.
As glad as I was to be at home, I wished that I was at school too. I would have stopped that from happening, and I had to wonder why Keith hadn't said anything. When I asked him, he just gave a small shrug.
"She looked exhausted, but so does everyone else. It's Seventh year," Keith said. "I haven't really been focusing in your friends to be honest. I still hang out with them at times, but I've been doing my own school work but I've also been making plans for the baby and our wedding. I've also been trying to spend some time with Lance as well. That kid has turned into quite the little social butterfly. He doesn't seem like the same kid."
"Timmy told me that. He said they don't hang out that much, but when he does talk to Lance, he has noticed a complete change in him," I said. "I just can't believe Ben didn't even notice that about Ashley."
"Well he's always been nose to the grindstone," Keith said. "We have a big seventh year meeting tomorrow, so we'll probably find out more about what happened. Everyone knows that she was relieved of her duties, but a lot of people don't know why. I am sure it will come up at some point. Honestly, I just want this year to be over. I like your friends and everyone else, but they just aren't by biggest concern at the moment."
"I just want to have Michelle," I said and I placed my hands on my belly out of habit. "I just want her in my arms already. I can't believe there was a time when I felt depressed that I was pregnant. I am so happy now, and I just want her here. March can't get here fast enough. Mum and Ashley's mum have told me that once you have the baby, you have a hard time remembering what life was like before that. I am starting to understand what they mean, and she will be here in less than two months."
"I know," Keith said and he placed a hand on my belly as well. "I am already checking my parchment quite a bit in case you go into labour early."
"Well remember, the longer she is in me, the better," I told him.
"To an extent, and I know," Keith said. "And it seems odd. All those girls who were bothering you have already forgotten about you. I am not saying that's a bad thing, but it just shows how easily people forget things at Hogwarts. They've already moved on."
"I don't even care about them anymore," I said. "I never have to see them again. I'll see my girls soon and that's all that matters. Soon enough, we'll all be able to see each other when we want and without curfews or supervision."
"Because we'll be the parents," Keith said with a grin. "And chances are at first we won't have a life."
In the past if someone had said that, it would have depressed me, but it didn't anymore. Now, I would trade a Saturday of drinking to stay home with my baby. I just hoped I would always have that attitude. I wanted more than one kid and once we had more than one, it would be a lot harder because I wanted them close in age. It made me wonder how the Hoofer's had done it with four of them. Barry would have been six or so when Ben was born. Little kids were always on the go, and they always wanted someone to play with them. How had Mrs. Hoofer kept her eye on all of them and taken care of baby Ben?
As Michelle's birth drew closer, I was having more and more sleepless nights. It wasn't just from Michelle moving around a lot, but because my back bothered me even more and my feet hurt so much. It got to the point that I couldn't go for my walks anymore, and if I did, they were just in the corridors of my building. I was also so hot all the time. Mum was good about this, and she would turn the heat down, and just cover herself up in blankets, but I felt like a burden to her, especially when I had the mood swings.
The odd thing was, whenever I would have snap at her, she would never get upset with me like in the past. She never told me off or told me to watch my attitude. She would just be very understanding about it all. At times when I would vent, she would set up the footspa for me and put on the telly for me. The odd thing was, while I'd been at home, I got into Timmy's favourite telly programme. It was called Degrassi and at first I'd found it to be quite barmy but now I liked it quite a bit. The main characters were just slightly younger than we were. One of the girls had already been pregnant, although she'd done the unthinkable and had an abortion. Muggle teens even in a different country really weren't that different from us.
One morning in early March, I woke up to cramps. They were more intense than period cramps and I knew automatically what was happening. Michelle was on the way. It was a week early, but she would be fine. I'd read enough of my baby books to know that.
"Mum!" I shouted as I sat up.
And as if she'd been waiting for this moment, she was in my room so fast that she could have apparated.
"Is it time?" Mum asked hurrying over to my bed and I nodded.
"I am cramping a lot. She's on her way."
"Well we'll time the contractions," mum said. "It could still be a long while before you finally give birth. How bad are they?"
"Not so bad..." I began but then I was hit with one really intense and I gripped my bed hard. Why was something so natural so painful?
"I am just going to grab your bag," mum said once it was over. "We'll time then before I apparate you there. Why don't you write to Keith and everyone else who you want to know? I'll let your father and the family know. You tell your friends. Tell them to bring Timmy with them."
I nodded. I knew that the pains were going to get worse and it was already quite bad. Mum seemed so calm too. I reached for my parchment to write to everyone before I struggled to get out of bed. I didn't see the point in getting dressed. I'd have to get into a gown when we got to St. Mungo's anyway.
"Okay, I've written everyone," mum said. "I am going to take you over now. Have you felt anymore pain?"
I shook my head. "Not yet but I do feel uncomfortable."
"Well I'd still rather have you there. It could be hours, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I think we should apparate now before you have more contractions. Are you ready?"
I nodded and took a hold of mum's arm while she held my bag in her other arm. Before she turned on the spot, I spent a moment wondering what contractions would feel like while apparating. Moments later we were going through that uncomfortable tight feeling and then we were in the waiting room of the maternity ward in St. Mungo's.
"Go sit down," mum told me pointing at one of the chairs. "I'll see if we can summon someone."
The moment I took a seat, I was hit by more contractions. I wasn't exactly sure how long it had been since the last ones but I thought it was at least fifteen minutes. I gripped the chair and tried not to cry out. They felt even worse than the last ones. Mum returned with Healer Smeck who rushed over to me.
"How far apart are the contractions?" She asked me after they passed.
"I think at least fifteen minutes, but I don't know for sure," I replied.
"How many times have you had contractions so far?" She asked me.
"This is the second time," I answered. "Unless I've had more but I slept through them. Now that I think about it, I was dreaming about being in pain. Will the baby be here soon?"
"Your water hasn't broke?" She asked and I shook my head.
"I think you're in for a long haul then Ellen," she said. "We'll get you into your room and I'll examine you. You may not even be in labour yet."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
I was still feeling some mild aches and pains, but they weren't as intense.
"Sometimes women go into false labour. They feel the pain of contractions but you're actually not in labour. I have to examine your cervix to check and see," she told me.
"False labour?" I asked before I looked at mum who shrugged.
"I'm sorry honey, I should have told you about that. I completely forgot about it," she told me. "I should have remembered."
"It's fine mum," I told her. "I even read about it in my books but I didn't think much about it."
I got to my feet awkwardly and mum placed a hand on my back to help guide me to the examining room. I didn't make it very far before I felt the oddest sensation ever. I let out a moan as I glanced down to see liquid at my feet. It was trickling down my legs.
"I guess that answers our question," Healer Smeck said to me with a smile. "You must have been in labour a lot longer than you realized. Let's get you into your room."
"So does that mean the baby will be here any minute?" I asked as mum continued to guide me. "Keith is probably still asleep. I need him here."
"No, you could still be in labour for a while," she told me. "Every pregnancy is different. Your water breaking is just telling us that you truly are in labour and it's not a false labour. Some women don't feel contractions until after their water breaks. You started before. Some women can still be in labour for twenty-four hours after the water breaks."
I stopped and stared at her. "Twenty-four hours?" I asked. "You mean I could feel those pains for twenty-four hours? Why don't I remember reading any of this? I just thought that I get the pains, my water breaks and the baby is born moments later. That's what it is like on the telly."
"The telly makes it more dramatic," Healer Smeck told me. "Not every woman always has a big breakage when their water breaks. Sometimes it's just a trickle. You have a lot, but it could be because it's your first pregnancy. We're just going to set you up in your room, but it could be hours still."
"Hours," I repeated. "Well at least I don't have to worry about Keith missing her birth. That's been one of my fears lately. It's only three in the morning, so they are probably still asleep."
"Right now, I want you to relax," Healer Smeck told me. "I know it might be hard, but I don't want you to have feel any unnecessary stress. Keith will be here. We'll get you comfortable in your bed, but you are also welcome to walk around a bit. You haven't had anymore contractions since you arrived."
I decided that I didn't want to lay down right away. If she was right, I wasn't just going to lay there and wait around. She gave me a pad to wear because the water was actually still trickling out a bit, and then I began pacing around deep in thought about the new life that could be there that very day. After pacing for a bit, I had another hit of contractions, and that was when I decided to sit down in my bed. I'd packed my diary to my baby in my bag, so I decided to write another entry to Michelle.
Well, today is your birthday Michelle, or it could be. It is the sixth of March. It is a day that I will always remember even if you are born tomorrow. I'll always remember it because it's the day that I really realized that you were coming. Of course I've known since the moment I found out I was pregnant, but now feeling these pains and seeing my water break, I truly know that I am going to be a mother. So very soon I am going to be holding you in my arms for the first time, and I can't wait. I know very soon I am going to be in a lot more pain than I have been so far, but every mother tells me it's worth it and I know it will be.
While I was writing to Michelle, dad walked into the room. I was surprised to see him. I knew mum had written to him, but I still hadn't expected for him to arrive. He walked right over to give me a hug. I glanced at the clock to see that it was now five in the morning. That meant that very soon my friends would be waking up to see my message. They would all get excited and rush over. I just hoped Keith wouldn't worry that he missed the birth.
"Do you mind if I sit with you for a bit?" Dad asked me.
"No not at all," I said. "I'm writing to the baby right now. I've been writing to her since I knew she was on the way. I'm going to give her this for her seventeenth birthday."
"That's odd to think about," dad said with a smile. "I am still having a hard time believing that you're seventeen and Timmy is twelve. He'll be thirteen soon. I'm sure she'll appreciate that. It was something I actually considered doing for you two, but I've never been much of a writer."
"I just worry sometimes she'll think she was a mistake," I said. "I am going to do my best to make sure she never thinks that. I hope when she reads the diary that she'll see how much she is loved if she ever has any doubts."
"Ellen, you'll be such a good mother that she'll know that," dad said to me.
"You don't know that," I said. "Everyone keeps saying that, but I've never been that nice to Timmy."
"You have," dad said to me. "Look, I know I haven't been around the last few years, so maybe my opinion doesn't matter to you. However, just because you had your sibling rivalry with Timmy, it doesn't mean you didn't love him. You've always been very protective of him. You took care of him when he was stressed out by our divorce, you were there for him when we were in hiding. Just because you felt annoyed by him, it doesn't mean that you haven't been a good sister to him."
"I haven't always been a good sister to him though," I said. "Even Timmy says that to me."
"There is a difference between being a big sister and being a parent," dad answered. "Most people fight with their siblings."
"I know," I said. "I still worry."
I was gripped by contractions moments later, and dad reached over to take my hand. After they passed, we continued to talk while I wrote to Michelle. After a while, I put the diary away because Healer Smeck wanted to examine me to see how much I was dilated. My contractions were coming quicker and quicker by that point. She told me that perhaps I'd have a fast labour after all. I hoped she was right. I really wanted Michelle to be here.
It wasn't long after that before Keith rushed into the room.
"Good," he said. "I was worried I'd miss the birth."
"Healer Smeck thinks it will be soon," I said. "At first she thought it might be as long as twenty-four hours, but my contractions have been coming quicker and quicker since I got here. She thinks I might have even been in labour before I even realized it. I guess Michelle really wants to be here because sometimes first time births take forever."
"There is a good chance you were," mum said to me. "You have been uncomfortable for the last couple of days. Just because you haven't felt pain, it doesn't mean that you weren't in labour. Considering how quick this is, I think you might have been. You've been complaining of a back ache."
"My back always hurts," I pointed out to her. "But that doesn't matter. I am glad. I hope this goes even quicker now that Keith is here," and then I turned to him. "Is everyone else here?"
Keith nodded. "Yes we all came together. Timmy is worried because the baby is early, but we reassured him that a week isn't a big deal."
"Well he'll see that soon enough-" I began but then I was hit with even more intense cramps. They were worse than any of the other ones. So far I had been good about not crying out, but that time I couldn't help it. It really hurt. Both Keith and mum took a hold of my hands. Neither complained when I squeezed them really hard. I was sure earlier I had hurt dad earlier, but he hadn't said a word either. Normally on the telly people would cry out.
"I think you're almost ready," mum told me. "I'll go get the Healer."
I noticed her massaging her hand as she went, so I knew I had to have hurt her.
"Are you okay?" I asked Keith once mum left the room and he smiled at me.
"Leave it to you to ask that," he said.
"Well I know squeezed hard," I said.
"Whatever pain you give me I know you are feeling ten times worse," Keith answered. "It's okay honey. I'd do it for you if I could."
"With our next one maybe you should," I said. "I've heard some pregnant women get irrational and they say things while they give birth. If I do end up doing that Keith, I hope you know I don't mean any of that."
"I know," Keith said to and he leaned forward to kiss my forehead.
It wasn't until about ten in the morning when I was allowed to start pushing. According to mum, this was a short labour but I felt like it had been a long time since I'd first woken up with labour pains. It felt even longer once the pains got even worse, and then when I started to push. I didn't even remember much about it. I remember yelling and regretting that I hadn't taken any pain killers.
What I did remember was my baby's first cry into the world. Michelle came into the world screaming loudly. Keith cut the umbilical cord, and then Healer Smeck wrapped her up and then handed her to me. The moment she was in my arms, she seemed to understand that she was with her mummy because she slowly calmed down until she finally stopped crying altogether.
I couldn't believe that my baby was finally here, but she was. I was holding her in my arms, and all that pain from the last few hours didn't matter to me. I just stared into my little girls face. It was hard to tell who she looked like more, but I thought I could already see both traces of Keith and me in her. She had very dark hair though.
Healer Smeck had to clean her off and check her over after a while, and then Keith held her. Mum was openly crying, but I realized I was too. After mum had a chance to hold her, I turned to Keith.
"Why don't you tell everyone else that she is here?" I suggested to him. "I want to tell Ashley and Ben right away that they're the godparents."
Keith nodded and then hurried out of the room. While he was gone, mum and I stared down at Michelle again.
"Reality really has set in," I said. "I know I have said and thought that a lot, but now that I am holding her, it truly has. I am a mother."
"And I am a grandmother," mum said. "She's so beautiful Ellen. You did a wonderful job."
"The pain was worth it but next time I think I'll take whatever pain killer potion they have," I told mum.
"So there will be a next time?" Mum asked me with a smile.
"Of course," I answered. "I feel so excited right now and so happy. This is a moment I can relive over and over again. I can't believe last summer I felt so depressed. I was upset because I thought my life was over, but it's not. It has just begun. I don't care about any of the stuff I thought I was missing out on because I wouldn't ever want to miss out on this."
"Just wait until she starts hitting the milestones," mum said to me.
Everyone entered the hospital room moments later, and they all started gushing over her. Ashley was already crying, but I could see Ben and Michael's eyes shining too. I glanced at my little brother to see that he was blinking quickly too as he stared at her. Even dad looked a little teary. I didn't want to let her go, but I knew everyone would want to hold her. Although I probably should have let dad hold her first, it wasn't him I wanted to hold her at that moment. It was my best friend and her godmother. Keith seemed to sense this because without a word, he took Michelle from me and handed her to Ashley.
After Ashley held her for a bit, I asked Timmy who I wanted to be next to hold her, but he wouldn't do it. He was too scared because she was so small, so Ashley handed her to dad next. I was disappointed because I knew how excited he was about her, but I could understand his fear. Perhaps when we were at home and he was sitting he would hold onto her. I was going to let him baby-sit her after all. I knew I could trust her with him. He was going to make a wonderful uncle.
Once everyone had a chance to hold her, I finally decided to make my announcement. Everyone, even dad knew that I was making Ashley and Ben the godparents.
"We wanted to talk to you two as well. It was a very hard decision for us to make, because there are so many candidates that we could choose. We talked about it for a very long time. We've decided we would like for the two of you to be godparents."
It wasn't true of course that it was a hard decision to make. I'd made up my mind basically the moment I accepted I was pregnant and Keith knew that. However, I didn't want anyone in the room or any of our friends later on to feel left out. As expected, even though Ashley and Ben were very happy about it, Michael wasn't. I knew out of everyone that he would take it the wrong way, which was why I'd wanted to say that we'd considered a lot of people. I didn't want him to think we wouldn't want him as a god parent. He would be with one of our kids. Ashley was the first person in line though.
Michael left the room, and Ashley quickly followed him.
"Perhaps I should have waited," I said as I watched him go. "I didn't want anyone to feel left out."
"Don't worry about him," Ben said to me. "Even he knew that it was likely it would Ashley. I am sure you considered her before me."
"Yes, it was always her," I said and I glanced at Keith. "And he knew it too. He didn't even suggest Dan because he knew I wanted it to be her."
"I don't even think it's about that anyway," Keith said. "He has been this way for a while. I think it's the family thing. I heard him talking to Jared not that long ago that he feels he'll never get married and have kids. It's probably just seeing us with a baby."
"It's true," Ben chimed in. "He has said a few things to me too."
"Well he shouldn't be getting all upset in front of Ellen," Timmy said. "This is Michelle and Ellen's day and he is making it about himself."
"Well I think that's why he left," mum said to Timmy. "I don't think he wanted to react that way, but sometimes if you're emotional, it happens."
"There's something else," Ben said and he turned to Keith and me. "I am just worried about taking the spotlight off of the two of you and Michelle."
"It won't," I said knowing automatically what he wanted to do. "Are you doing today. Ooh are you going to ask her in here? That would be perfect!"
"You're going to ask her to marry you right now?" Timmy asked excitedly.
Ben laughed. "No, not in this room. It's just that meeting Michelle has made me feel that this is the perfect moment. You two are starting your lives right now, and I am ready to start mine. We don't have to be back at Hogwarts for a few days, so I want to take her out for dinner to propose after we leave here. I just didn't want to take the attention off of you two and Michelle."
"No it's perfect," I said. "And then you can tell her that you got engaged the day she was born. She'll love it!"
"I think it's the right time," mum told him. "And I wouldn't say that if I didn't think so. I agree with Ellen. Michelle will love to know that you two were engaged the day she was born. You're her godparents after all."
"I think you should do it right now," Timmy said to Ben but Ben shook his head with a smile.
"No, I want it to be just us. You know Ashley doesn't like an audience. Don't worry, we'll celebrate our engagement together later," Ben told him before turning to me. "I have to talk to Ashley's mum and step father first. I feel nervous about it."
"Oh they love you Ben," I said. "They'll be excited about it."
"Darla told me she is looking forward to that," mum confirmed for him.
"I can't believe you lot are already ready for this," dad said shaking his head and he glanced at Michelle. "You're already starting your families."
Michael and Ashley returned not too much longer after that. It was so hard to contain my excitement. This had to be one of the best days of my life. I finally had my little girl in my arms and my best friends were getting engaged. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this happy, and I couldn't believe there had been a time I'd been so depressed about not getting Ben. I wished I could tell my fifth year self that things would get a lot better. I would tell her there would be a time when all of that drama didn't matter because I would have the most beautiful baby in my arms, and she was mine.
I went home the next day. We took the floo network home instead of apparating. I had mum hold her because I didn't trust myself quite yet with such a tiny baby. I didn't want to do anything that could harm her. Once we were in our flat though, I took my baby from mum to show her around her first home. I was relieved to be back at home where I would have a lot more privacy. I'd gotten sick of that hospital room quite quickly. Now I could relax in my own home with my new baby.
I was exhausted though. Newborn babies had to be fed quite a bit. Mum and Keith had told me we'd take it in turns since I had some bottles already. I'd pumped some breast milk but I wanted to try and do every feeding.
"Ellen, you should get some sleep before everyone comes over," mum told me. "Keith, Timmy and me can handle her, but you really haven't slept. Your friends will be over in a few hours. Take a nap so that you aren't too tired for her. We can feed her. Trust me, I've done this before."
"I know," I said. "Of course I trust all three of you. I just don't want to abandon my baby."
"You're not abandoning her by sleeping," Keith told me.
"You can't take care of her if you don't get some rest," Timmy added. "And now that I've held her, I know I can do it. I want to do the next feeding. So that's why you should sleep."
Timmy had decided to hold her while he was sitting in the chair where he knew he couldn't drop her. After that, the fear was gone and he had held her a few more times since. I didn't mind letting him feed her, so I finally nodded.
"Okay, but make sure you wake me a half hour before they're supposed to come," I said.
"Don't worry," Keith said.
I headed to my room thinking that it was going to take me forever to fall asleep. I was going to worry about Michelle, or else I was going to think about how happy I was. However, I must have been more exhausted than I realized because I fell asleep almost instantly. I felt like no time had passed when Keith was shaking me awake.
"Your friends will be here soon," Keith said to me.
"How is Michelle?" I asked instantly as I got out of bed quickly.
I was still feeling pain, and any fast movement hurt, so I regretted this instantly.
"She's fine honey, Timmy has her. He is feeding her. It's really cute. I can't wait until Lance meets her. My parents and Lance are coming tomorrow by the way," Keith said. "Why don't you wash up a bit. Remember, you can't really move that fast either. You need to relax. Michelle will be fine."
"I know," I said. "It's hard not to worry Keith."
I went into the washroom to wash up quickly. When I entered the living room, it was to find Timmy just setting Michelle in the cradle that Ashley's mum had given me. Timmy had gone from being terrified of holding her to looking like a little father. He almost seemed like an expert as he put her gently in the cradle.
"All taken care of," Timmy said to me with a smile.
I started to cry, but apparently this was normal. New mum's cried a lot over the smallest things after giving birth. It had to do with hormones. It was just seeing him being a good uncle to her that set me off, and knowing that she was loved and so was I.
"Did I do something wrong?" Timmy asked looking worried.
"No," I said. "You're perfect. That's why I am crying."
Timmy raised his eyebrows and looked at mum.
"Don't question it," mum told him with a smile. "Ellen, why don't you relax while you wait for your friends to get here? Sit down with Michelle. We'll take some pictures while we wait."
I froze when mum said this. I didn't recall any pictures taken at the hospital. Had we missed out on taking pictures of her while we'd been there?
"What's wrong?" Keith asked me.
"We didn't get any pictures of Michelle at the hospital I said. I won't have any pictures from yesterday."
"Yes we do," mum said. "I took some, and so did Healer Smeck and your father."
"I don't remember any of that," I said.
"Well you were a bit busy dear," mum told me with a smile. "Don't worry, we have pictures. They aren't developed yet, but I'll make sure we have plenty for your scrapbook and for around the living-room and in the album. Believe me, we'll be taking a lot of pictures. You'll probably have too many."
"I don't think that will ever be the case," I said.
I continued to make my way over to the chair where the cradle was beside. She was in a cute pink onesie. I was sure that she had been wearing a yellow one earlier, but perhaps she had spit up or something. That had happened quite a bit already and unfortunately some cleaning spells didn't get the smell out. It took scourgify to take it out and obviously we couldn't leave the clothes on her to do so. Already, I could see a pile of washable diapers that mum had washed. We'd decided to go for those instead of the disposable ones. It would save money that way, and with magic we could vanish the waste and then wash and dry the diapers easily.
I sat down and stared down at my baby girl. She stared back at me, and I wondered what she was thinking. Did she truly know who I was? I figured she had to. Each time she'd cried so far, she seemed to be the most comforted in my arms than anyone elses. She had calmed down so quickly yesterday when I'd first held her.
"I think she has your nose," I said to Keith as I took in my daughters face.
"She has your eyes and lips," Keith said to me. "I think your chin too. I just don't know who she got the black hair from. It could be from my Uncle Lenny. He has black hair."
"My grandmum on my dad's side has dark hair," I said as I thought about it. "We always found it odd that dad had blond hair and we've all been blond. Perhaps it came out in Michelle."
The dark hair had been something I'd been wondering about, but no one else had questioned it. I was worried because I didn't want anyone to think I'd cheated on Keith. We both had blond hair, and yet we had a dark haired baby. Jared and a few other boys had black hair. Just what if someone tried to imply that I'd cheated on Keith with Jared?
"That will likely turn blonde," mum said. "Timmy and Ellen were both born with black hair. By the time they were a year, it was blond. Timmy had blond hair by the time he was six months if I recall it correctly, That happens sometimes. Some kids are born blond and but their hair darkens or they have light hair and it darkens."
"That is true," I said quickly as I thought back to my own baby pictures. I would have to compare them later. "I forgot all about that. I haven't looked at my baby pictures for a long time though. I even remember that Timmy had dark hair too when I think about it."
"But it wouldn't be so bad if she did keep the dark hair would it?" Timmy asked. "She'll be a pretty girl either way."
"Of course," I said. "It won't matter to me. We just wondered because both Keith and me have blond hair. That's usually how it works."
"Not always," mum replied. "But I think Michelle is going to be a blue eyed and blond haired little girl."
"Well her eyes are already blue though," Timmy pointed out.
"But babies usually are born with blue eyes," mum said. "Their eye colour changes later on."
"That's weird," Timmy said. "There is so much that I didn't know."
"Anyway Ellen, I am going to go home for a bit. Lance is at home now. I want to see if I can convince my parents to come tonight instead of tomorrow," Keith said. "I'll be back later either way, but I really would like for them to meet her. I need some rest too. I'll let you visit with your friends alone. I'm a bit too tired for company."
"You should have taken a nap with me then," I said.
"I know," Keith said with a smile. "But I do want to see my parents. Don't worry, I'll be back tonight."
He walked over to give me a kiss and then he leaned down to kiss Michelle in her cradle. Seeing my fiancé kiss his daughter brought on the waterworks for me. I had to wonder how long this would last for. Would I cry over everything? None of my tears were from unhappiness, which was good, but I hadn't expected to be crying so much. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life.
Keith saw the tears and wiped them before kissing me again and then apparating away.
"So did Ben propose to Ashley?" Mum asked as soon as he was gone.
"Yes, but I want you two to act surprised," I said. "It's her news to tell, so I want you to be excited for her. I am sure eventually we can tell her that everyone knew all along, but right now I just want her to be excited while she tells you. She told me last night on the parchment."
"How did he do it then?" Timmy asked.
"I'll let her explain, but if she doesn't, I will tell you later," I said. "They'll be here at any moment."
I glanced down at Michelle. She was still watching me. How did babies think anyway? I doubted they thought the same way we did since they really wouldn't have much language skills. She had to understand that I was important to her though. As we stared at each other, there was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it," mum told me when I went to get up. "I need to get some snacks from the kitchen anyway."
I felt nervous suddenly, and I didn't know why. They had seen me in the hospital yesterday after all. I was cleaner and I looked better than I had the day before. I was even almost back to my old size again, and that was unexpected. I still had ten pounds or still lingering around my stomach, but it wasn't noticeable in the dress I was wearing. I'd picked this dress for that reason. Once I was good and ready, I planned to exercise to get back to my old size or at least close to it. I knew my body would be exactly the same as it had been before, but my mum was skinny so I knew I could as well. I'd expected to still look big once I'd had Michelle.
I didn't have long to contemplate why I felt so nervous. Moments later, Ashley, Michael and Ben were in the living-room. All three were smiling at me. As soon as I saw them, the feeling went away. Later, I would wonder why I had felt that way but at the moment, only one thing was on my mind. I wanted to see the ring on Ashley's finger. So as they walked over, I smiled at her.
"Let me see the ring," I said quickly.
"I thought you already saw it," Ashley said but she held her hand out to me once she was close enough. I took a hold of her hand to gaze at it. It looked even prettier on her hand.
"It's different seeing you actually wear it," I told her. "It took us forever to look for it you know."
"When did this happen anyway?" Ashley asked. "I don't recall a time when the three of you would have went to Hogsmeade without me."
"You met up with Alana for a while," I answered. "Remember? She wanted you to help her pick out a gift for a boy. You wanted me to come, but I told you I promised I'd hang out with Keith, but really I was with Michael and Ben."
"I want to see!" Timmy who had been sitting on the floor and going over some more of the gifts we'd gotten since yesterday. "I always knew you two would be engaged!"
"You're engaged?" Mum asked entering the room with a tray of snacks which made me smile. She genuinely sounded surprised. "You finally asked her?" She added to Ben.
"He did it yesterday," Ashley answered. "Shortly after we got home from the hospital I went to my spot by a pond in my town, and he found me there and proposed."
"I told him to hurry up and do it. I think it's fitting that you two got engaged on Michelle's birthday," I told her just to make sure they both knew that it was okay. I didn't want them to ever think they were overshadowing us. I couldn't wait until she was old enough to understand that they'd gotten engaged on her birthday.
I glanced at everyone in the room. Michael hadn't said a word by that point. He was busy staring at Michelle in her cradle. She'd noticed him by that point, and she was now looking at him instead of me. She seemed to have a good attention span for day old baby. I thought I remembered reading in one of my baby books that babies really couldn't focus right away.
"It's a new beginning for all of us," I said addressing all of us. It was a new beginning for Michael too.
"I can't believe how grown up we are," Ashley said which was something I'd been thinking about for the past nine months. "I've been keeping up with our scrapbooks you know. Last night I added a page in mine for our engagement. I have no pictures for it, but I drew a ring and I put in Michelle's birth."
"I've been working on mine still too," I said.
At the moment I hadn't done anything about her birth, but I would. It was up to date however. Once we were home for a few days, I would sit down and go through my book and her diary. I hadn't decided if I was going to keep her diary up or not. I didn't know if I would end it after yesterday, or if I would keep it going until her first birthday.
"I can't believe you two are still working on those," Michael said. "I am glad you are though. It's amazing to see us grow up through the years."
"We're making ones for the two of you as well," Ashley told him. "It will be our graduation presents to you."
"I'm starting one for Michelle too," I told them. "I want it to go from her birth until she graduates Hogwarts."
"Where's Keith?" Ben asked.
"He went home for a little bit," I explained. "He wanted to visit with his parents and they will probably be here later."
"You know June and Sally-Anne are working on scrapbooks now too," Timmy said. "Ever since they found out what you two are doing they've been trying to get as many pictures as they can of all of us. I think it's stupid."
"We thought it was at one time as well," Michael told him. "Once you're older you'll appreciate it. It's kind of neat. We've all come a long way since first year."
"So has June," Ashley said. "She seems to be getting more outgoing. I hope she keeps the buddy system going once I am gone."
"She plans to," Timmy told her. "She already told us that she is hoping to find someone to help out. Tracy thinks it's dumb of course, but I like it. If it weren't for you and Alana, I think June would still be extremely shy."
"If it wasn't for these guys I would still be shy," Ashley said to him and then she put an arm around me.
"You did a lot of it on your own though," Michael told her.
"Exactly, we can't take all the credit," Ben said to her.
Ashley didn't say anything, she seemed to be staring into space.
"Earth to Ashley!" Ben said as he leaned forward to wave a hand in her face. Ashley blinked quickly and then looked at Ben with confusion and then she smiled.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about things," she replied.
"Can't really blame you," I said and leaned over to hug her. . "I kept going into a daze after I got engaged."
"Have you two set a date yet?" Mum asked them.
"We talked about it," Ben said. "We're thinking between next Easter break or during the summer. We want it to be during the holidays so that we can have everyone." He looked at Michael. "You'll be best man of course."
"And you'll be Maid of Honor," Ashley said me.
I was surprised by this. She had other females in her life besides me. I really didn't have anyone else. She had her sister and Rachel who had been there for her since her birth. It wasn't just that, but after all the drama I'd caused for them, I didn't think they'd want me to be part of their wedding.
"Raelly?" I asked happily. "I just always believed either it would be Jaime or Rachel or-"
"You've been there for me the most," Ashley interrupted. "Although it is going to be hard to decide to others. I do want Jaime to be a bridesmaid. I would have liked a Hufflepuff wedding party too, but I can't leave out Jaime and Rachel."
"So have the girls in it anyway," mum told her. "There is no rule to how many bridesmaids you can have. Of course too many can be tacky, but if you really want to include your dorm mates, I don't see why you shouldn't. It's your wedding."
"It would be six bridesmaids and one maid of honor," I said. "So you'd have seven. I don't think that is too many."
"And I'll want Barry," Ben said. "Then Stan, Hank, Jared, Keith and Dan. Joey and Brad can probably be ushers."
I was actually surprised that Barry wasn't going to be his best man. Barry had chosen Ben over his best friend Nick, and they were closer than Ben and Michael were. I had a feeling that Ben did it so Michael wouldn't feel left out. It was something I'd have to ask him later. I most certainly wasn't going to ask at that moment.
"I can't believe you're all planning your weddings," mum sighed. "I suppose I should be glad you are able to though. I feel too young to be a grandmother, and I feel too young for my daughter's wedding."
"My mum feels the same way," Ashley said. "She rarely cries but she was all teary eye this morning."
"My mum can't stop either," Ben laughed. "And Nick is planning on proposing to Brianne soon."
"And she's pregnant too," Ashley said.
"Brianne is pregnant!?" I said excitedly. That meant her baby would be close in age with Michelle. They could be friends! "I didn't know that. That's great! All of our kids are going to be growing up together."
"Brianne isn't pregnant," Ben said with a frown. "Why do you say that?"
"You mean you haven't noticed?" Michael asked.
"She has a belly and she refused to drink last night," Ashley said. "I am surprised she hasn't announced it yet. I thought you knew but you just hadn't told us yet."
"I honestly didn't notice that," Ben said. "I'll have to ask her. I can't believe they didn't tell me that! Brianne tells me everything!"
"Maybe they're waiting for the right moment," I said.
I figured they didn't want to say anything because of Ashley and Ben's engagement. They were probably going to do everything in one go. We truly all were growing up. I couldn't believe there was a time when we'd had carefree days where we'd learned about make up from Brianne. I remembered the first time we had makeovers and I was stressed about how Michael had felt about me. We'd been young and innocent like Timmy and his friends. Now we were all moving on, and three of us (including Rachel) were mothers, and one was an expectant mother. Most of us were engaged or already married. Soon our kids would be growing up and we'd be the ones making the rules. Someday we'd have a bunch of teenagers, and that just seemed odd. I had a hard time thinking past Michelle's first birthday.
"Brianne knew I was going to propose so that is likely," Ben said.
"How is Brenda taking the news about Nick and Brianne then?" Michael asked.
"Well she doesn't know that Nick is going to propose soon," Ben said. "She's still unhappy about them being together, but I expect it will be worse when she knows about the baby and all. She's never gotten over Nick. She needs to meet another bloke so that she can move on."
"But I expect that won't be easy now. How often does she go out to meet them? She just works and then spends all her time in her room," I said.
"Well, she's moved out," Ben said. "But she likely just spends all her time in her flat. She was angry to come home to see that mum has already basically changed their old room. It still has the Ravenclaw theme. I don't their going to change that. They want a Ravenclaw room for the grand kids, but it's also more for kids now. They're going to do the same with my room too. They're keeping it Hufflepuff in case we have Hufflepuff kids."
"What if one of you have kids in Gryffindor or Slytherin?" Timmy asked.
"Well if it comes to that, it's an easy fix," Ben told him.
"But they seem to already be expecting a big brood of grandchildren," I said.
"Well it's almost expected with five of us, and plus mum and dad wanted me to tell you that Michelle or any other kid you have is welcome," Ben told me. "They already take Hayden quite a bit as well. They want us all to know that everyone's kids will always be welcome."
"Five of you?" Timmy asked. "I thought you only had two sisters and one brother."
"I have two brothers," Ben said and he moved over to put an arm around Michael. "My parents adopted Michael and any kids he has will be their grandchildren."
"My parents feel the same way," Ashley said.
"And so do I," mum said. "I want you lot to know that too. I'll take care of any of your children as well. I've actually already had Hayden for a few weekends."
"I never knew that," Ashley said looking at mum.
"Yes, Rachel couldn't find anyone a few times and your mum wrote and asked me. I told Rachel that he is more than welcome to come here on weekends," mum answered. "I don't mind having the little ones here."
That seemed a little odd to me when I thought about it. Rachel seemed to have people take Hayden a lot on weekends. She didn't work on weekends. I didn't know much about it because I didn't often see Rachel or Hayden, but I kept hearing stories about her dropping him off at someone's house. I couldn't imagine doing that with Michelle and she'd just been in my life for day.
"Well at least we know we have plenty of baby-sitters," Ben said grinning. "People are already offering to take our kids, and we don't have any yet."
"Well I will be and you will be taking mine," I said. "Once Michelle is old enough, you'll be taking her. She is your god daughter after all."
"We can take her now if you'd like," Ashley said with a smile.
"No," I said quickly even though I knew she was joking. "I'm not ready for that yet. I still can't imagine having her go away for a weekend even though we are talking about it."
"Believe me, the time will come for that," mum told me. "You're still a new mum, but wait until you have a couple of toddlers running around. You'll want a weekend to yourself."
"I don't think so," I said and I glanced at Michelle again.
I felt like I couldn't get enough of her. I wanted to spend all my time with her. Mum just smiled at me but she didn't contradict me. I didn't know when I'd be ready for her to actually have a visit with her god parents. At the moment, I didn't even like being in a different room from her.