Hello my cuties! I'm back, and here comes chapter 21. Thanks to beautifulchaos91, Desires of autumn leaves, Cutetyhil, HeavenRider, Subha-Chan and Sharingan blossoms.

Ahem….brace yourself! This chapter will be a mixture of angst and contentment. *Tucks tresses behind ear and dramatically sees the face in mirror*

I dedicate this chapter to Ranjan597 aka our sweetie Subha-Chan! Sniffs….I know I am just focusing on Ray, why not Kai a bit?

So, let it….rip!

"Ray, she's a fugitive hardcore criminal!" Hilary blurted, "Arrest her."

"No Ray, I'm not. Rather she is." Salima retorted, "Kill her as soon as you can."

"Don't believe her; listen to your brain."

"Ignore the brain; follow your heart."

"Shut up!" Ray clutched his head in pain, "Shut up you both!"

"Too late Ray!" The red-haired girl snarled, "Now your sisterly friend is gone!"

As she delivered her words, so she did. The blade of the black sword fell on the chest of the brunette, ripping her into two pieces as fresh crimson liquid sprinkled on the neko-jin, drenching him completely.

Slitting the cloths of darkness, a blood-freezing laughter stabbed its dagger at his neurons, spinning him like a toy.

"NO! Hilary!"

Putting the oxygen mask off, he leaped on his bed from his still position like a frog, jumping for its own self-defence. He was panting. Splotches of perspiration emerged around his nose, on his forehead, cheeks and whole figure, soaking his hospital gown like water. Had he taken a shower and come out from washroom without wiping himself, he wouldn't have looked more drenched than his current condition. He was panting. He had been in plenty of oxygen. But when he had put off the mask, automatically his lungs had felt the scarcity of the molecules of atomic number 8.

Nah, it was nothing but a nightmare.

He revolved his gapes here and there. The room was medium in size. He was sitting on a white hospital bed. On a side-cabinet, a glass and a jug full of water were kept. When his eyebrows were puckered, he felt something in his grip. Unlocking the gate of his palm which had been made of his fingers, he exposed an ordinary ornament.

A bronze-made metallic finger ring.

'Whose ring is it?' He elevated an eyebrow, 'Who kept it in my grip? Who came here to visit me?'

Questions couldn't rise storm in his heart as his brain sent a signal about which he was forgetting.

'Hilary!' He gasped, 'She was shot at stomach, wasn't she? How will she be now? Alright? Or not? God, what has happened to me?!'

Clutching his forehead, he tried to block his headache somehow. It was killing him from his inner side gradually. His vision was again starting being blurred. He didn't want to lose his consciousness once again.

As his stares moved at the right side of his bed, he found a red-colored pot. Rubbing his eyes and getting his vision cleared a bit, he learned that it was a pot of painkillers.

Seizing and opening the cap, he quenched the stuff inside the container. Gulping a glass of water, he started seeing everything fresh and clear finally.

'I've to find Hilary out.' He got down from the bed, 'If something happens to her, I can never show this face of mine to Kai!'

Leaving the room, he continued walking, gawking here and there at the same time. Most of the rooms were almost empty. As the clinic was situated in a silent and solitary alley, people couldn't visit it that much.

Only God knows how he ended up here.

Letting out a small sigh, he kept going forward. But he couldn't step more as something was felt by him near his feet. He looked down for finding what it was.

And his eyes grew broadened as he wished not to see that.

A corpse of a security guard, mottled with cerise blood.

He knelt down by the body. The departed man was still grasping a 9mm pistol in his left grip. Still he didn't forget what his duty was.

Sighing, the neko-jin took the weapon in his hand. Pressing his fingers at the side of the neck of the body, he tried to feel the sign of life. Scarcely had he realized that he had been no more when a guy in black from top-to-bottom appeared at the spot.

"Don't need to worry, he'll be finished soon, he can't do anything because he is as good as dead…" The stranger was talking in his microphone. Abruptly his eyes fell on Ray.

"Hands in the air!" The raven-haired guy stood up, pointing the gun at his soon-to-be aggressor.

"Found him." The provoker also coxswained his handgun at his bull's eye.

Per chance, an alive and conscious bull's eye he was. That's why he couldn't press the trigger even. Before doing his own job, he was done and gone by the neko-jin.

'Phew!' Ray blew the smoke which was coming out from his gun, 'What have they thought about me? I'm sick, not dead yet. If he's here, possibly the others from the gang will be here soon. Nah, I've to disguise myself.'

Dragging the body of the accoster at a silent corner, he interchanged the cloths. Putting on the black mask, he smirked, 'Now nobody can guess who I am.'

With unobtrusive and dawdling tracks, he kept walking on. Seeing a female doctor and a nurse, nippily he shrouded himself by a wall.

"Charlotte, have you received the body which was sent from Central Hospital?" The doctor asked the nurse.

"Yes, Dr. Ava." The caregiver nodded, 'The body of the detective has been reached here. She has already been headed to the morgue."

"Days are changing." The female physician commented, "I mean….look, she has breathed her last in such a renowned hospital. But her postmortem is going to be occurred in a meek and tiny clinic like ours, just for the electricity and generator problem."

"True, because karma is a bitch."

The doctor and the nurse then disappeared while talking to each other. Each of the words went in the ears of the neko-jin who was looking tensed.

'Detective….and she? Hils can't be dead! Wait, what the fuck I am thinking! There are a lot of female detectives in Tokyo. Possibly it may be one of them. Poor lady, my condolence…may her soul rest in peace.'

Entering into an elevator, he pressed the buttons. The doors were closed and it was rising up.

He was sitting on a chair in the lobby. His silver bangs were covering his forehead and eyes. If his eyes could be seen, you could see only darkness and darkness in those amethyst eyes. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.

Alas! He couldn't do that. He was never taught to do so.

In front of his eyes, the image of a whitish brunette was floating. He was drifting to it and backing in the reality. Rising and drowning, up and down.

Her euphonious voice was like the chirpings of morning birds, soothing the heart. He would miss the voice.

"I love you, Kai!"

"You're my essence of life."

"You're the heart of our department. And you know who the brain is? Ray. We need to take care of both. If these two show any error, then we're gone!"

"I can't endanger your life, Kai!"

'Love, you've left me so soon?' He faintly smirked, 'Why? What was my guilt? You used to tell that I'm the heart of our department. If I'm the heart, then you are the superior aorta by whom the heart is attached with the whole body. Today you're no more. Then which relationship is still remaining in me and the department?'

You know? At your departure, the birds are crying.

The flowers are losing their colors; slowly they are dying.

The sky is also weeping with the earth; by showering rain.

The whole universe is at a loss; she's in a pain.

You know? The roads asked me, "When will she come?"

I couldn't reply, I remained speechless like a dumb.

He remembered her last words. She had been crying, she had been in a pain. But not for herself, but for her lost comrade. She had been frustrated because she couldn't have saved him.

'And Ray….you need to be hit also! You've made me totally dumbfounded!' He gritted his fists, 'Who the hell on the earth ordered you to go there and kill them? As far I can remember, I didn't order you. Then who? For following whose commandment did you go there?

Yet I am guilty. I didn't stop you back, I let you go forward. Because I had full belief on God. I knew God wouldn't snatch my friends from me. He's merciful after all, not merciless, is He? Then why? Why did He snatch you both from me? I'm sorry, my dearies, I'm sorry. Please forgive this worthless human being if possible.'

Some of the words of the neko-jin rang in the ears of the Russian.

"A kingdom is identified by its subjects, not by the king, Kai. My past was a mess. I was treated as a lifeless puppet. I don't wanna be the leader, I don't wanna be the king. I wanna be a follower, I wanna be a part of the subjects. It's not my wish to spend my life like a lifeless statue. I wanna lead my life as a real human being. And you've given me the chance, Kai. I'll always be grateful to you for it."

'Shush! Why're you being grateful to me? You better slap me, badmouth me, chide me and kill me! Because I was the one for whom you came here. You continued walking on the burning cinders and I continued encouraging you! And when the fire burnt you and took you from us forever, I couldn't do anything! What kind of captain am I? I couldn't protect you guys! What the hell will be there if I remain alive still? Why aren't I just dying? Why?'

Numbness tightly wrapped my body, feeling really cold.

Take me in your warm embrace and make me feel bold.

You used to say, "If I am a bird, you're my nest."

Then tell me, dear heart, where did you go emptying my chest?

How worthless I am! I couldn't save you from those beasts.

In the rest of my life, my sun never will rise from the east.

The elevator chimed open as a blackhead came out. Black and black was covering his toe from the forehead. Only his glistening tawny orbs were peeping through the eyeholes of the mask.

As the elevator signaled, Kai stared at the disguised stranger. Firestorms of inflammation and resentment rose in his deep purple orbs, turning them into garnets from amethysts. His ten fingers curled into two fists.

When the agony takes the form of wrath, it is kinda petrifying. But seems like the agent in camouflage didn't know about it.

"Kai!" He exclaimed as he saw his captain. Frankly speaking, he didn't expect him there.

"Bastard!" The Russian growled as he hurried towards him. The neko-jin fell back since a low kick had been launched at his stomach.

"Ouch!" The agent groaned.

"Today's your last day on the earth!" The leader pulled out his Ingram and targeted the automatic handgun at him.

"Wait Kai!" He screamed for his dear life, putting the mask off. His tanned face got exposed, with the dark bangs covering his forehead and a pair of glinting topaz eyes.

The gun from Kai's hand fell on the floor as his eyes grew extended. His dear comrade, Ray was alive…breathing…talking…in front of his own eyes…

Was it his imagination? Or the reality?

When he pinched his own skin, the pinkish sign of his nails proved that it wasn't his imagination.

Was it really Ray? Or his ghost?

He approached the neko-jin. As he shook him grasping his shoulders, the raven-haired agent spoke, "What happened, Kai? Why are you behaving like this?"

Nah, he was really alive. It was not his imagination, but his reality. Those tears whom he had congested in his eyes had been vapors. Seeing Ray safe and sound, his eyes calmed down and got covered with coldness. But that coldness didn't jammed his emotions. Rather, the lack of heat turned his gaseous tears into liquid. The departure of his queen had absorbed all the heat from him, turning him into a lifeless ice cube. But the arrival of his comrade again filled him with the heat of sentiments.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He spoke, concealing his trails of emotions, "You should rest in hospital bed at this moment. Go and sleep!"

"Kai…"

"Have you seen your face in the mirror?" Kai moved his stares, "You're looking as if someone picked your dead body from your tombstone!"

"I'm sorry, Kai!"

"Huh?" The leader raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, sorry for everything." He muttered, "I know I shouldn't have gone alone to the base of those criminals. But what could I do else? I needed to catch Salima, I needed to investigate the matter. That's why I got involved in this mess."

"After all these disasters, you're saying sorry?" The Russian erupted, "You know you could've died? What would happen to our department if something happened to you? Why're you such a donkey?"

"Kai, are you crying?"

Gasping, the Russian turned back so that his friend couldn't see his tears. Somehow wiping his eyes, he retorted, "Who said that I am crying? Just something fell in my eyes and I'm trying to get it off…"

"Don't lie anymore with me, Kai!" Ray rushed to him, "I've seen your tears clearly. I know you're the head of our department. But it doesn't mean that you have no emotion! You can't hide your tears from me!"

Kai stayed silent; not uttering a single word even.

When you add some acid with base, it produces a neutral chemical like salt. In the beaker of the heart of the Russian, the base of relief and the acid of angst were reacting with each other; neutralizing each other. Maybe that's why he was reactionless.

"Come on, Kai, why're you silent?" The restless neko-jin yelled.

"Ray, are you alright really?" This time Kai's eyes were showing some concern that he had been hiding, "I don't know what the hell you had to tolerate when you were in hospital cabin. Must be painful though…."

The mouth of the neko-jin dropped. He couldn't believe his own ears. Kai….the greatest Kai Hiwatari was asking him how he was…..since when had he changed himself though?

"Chill captain, I'm alright!" He giggled, "Look, I am walking….talking...ouch!"

The neko-jin gasped as the silently asleep throbbing pain inside his brain woke up.

"Huh…knew that!" The ice-prince closed his eyes, crossing his arms on his chest, staying in his usual posture.

"Hehe….well Kai, where's Hilary though?" Scratching his head in embarrassment, the raven-haired guy asked.

Hilary….the name consisting 6 letters but infinite feelings…

Hearing the name, the slight smile from Kai's face died out. Again darkness claimed his position courageously in his face and eyes. Bending down his head, he turned his gazes away from Ray.

"Kai?" Ray frowned, "Tell me where she is."

"She must be happy wherever she is at this moment."

"Huh?" The neko-jin raised an eyebrow, "Kai, don't make conundrums. You know I am not as intelligent as you. She was shot once at her stomach. On the other hand, I was shot twice at my chest, receiving a nine-foot fall in bonus. She should be perfect in line at this moment."

Still no response came from the leader. He remained quiet. His shiny gray bangs were blowing with the cadence of the zephyr of midnight in front of his forehead.

"Kai, don't remain silent!" Ray's voice was growing restless, "Where's Hilary? Tell me, I'm feeling really nervous! Where the hell is she?!"

"Gone!"

The neko-jin's eyes went enlarged in sudden shock. He felt someone penetrating his fingers into the holes of a power socket which was turned on. Jolts of electricity went down through his spinal cord, reminding him about his current nightmare. Every single inch of his body was trembling, from his chromosomes to femurs.

'How? How can it be possible?' He was stepping back, 'Hilary was shot only once…moreover at stomach….she should've been alive…'

He looked at his dual-haired team leader. He was awkwardly quiet. The salty rheum of miseries and soreness was streaking his pale cheeks. They were inaudible, yet audible.

"I requested her to accompany her." Finally the Russian began, "But she stopped me. She told me that she didn't want to endanger my life. In front of her heart-warming words, my logical statements couldn't stand at all. She also forbade me to step out of our office. But I did that. As a result, she left us all. Just for my negligence…." His waterworks again blocked his voice.

The neko-jin knelt down on the floor, breaking down totally. He felt someone stabbed a knife right at his heart for countless times. Don't know if it was a single dagger for innumerable times, or infinite blades at a solitary moment.

Now he realized why Kai had been seeming so changed.

Someone was right.

Death was the greatest dressing room in this universe.

'No Kai, not your negligence, but my irresponsibility killed her. Not you, not Salima, but I am her murderer. Punish me, get me sentenced to death. Come on, what are you waiting for?'

He looked at his palms. They were clear. Then again, they were reddened with the blood of someone.

The blood of a brunette.

Tears exploded from his eyes, cascading his face.

'God…what the hell has been done by me… ?'

Make a sieve of my chest with bullets

Shoot me with all the bullets, today I want to,

My wish is, to die…

I want to die today, I want to die…

Cousin: I didn't know you write yaois.

Me: *Hits his head with a frypan*

Cousin: Aaaaaaa!

Me: Hmm….does anyone have any suspicion in this regard? No, right? Good! *Yawns of satisfaction*

There there….my stupid keyboard is disturbing a lot. It's obvious that there're some grammatical or spelling error. Pardon them and do read and review ;P

-Misty ^_^