A/N: Hellooooo, my pretties! I'm back again! I've been writing soooooo much for this story lately, and I'm on a freaking roll! I'm actually finishing up chapter 22 right now, and they're pretty long chaps! You guys can look forward to lots of drama for the next few chapters, starting with this one ;) I'm so freaking evil, I amaze myself sometimes xD

Random, but has anyone read Matched by Ally Condie? That book is freaking amazing. Seriously. If you haven't already checked it out, you should! Team Ky all the way :)

Thanks so much to the people who left me a review :) I love hearing from you guys!

Anyways, I'm gonna go now and let you read the chapter, and I'm gonna jam to some music by All Time Low, Flyleaf, and The Black Keys while I write xD enjoy ;)

~ Sarah Ozera ~

~ Chapter Twenty: Losing Control ~

I FASTENED MY HEART NECKLACE around my neck. The amethysts sparkled in the light as the heart settled in the hollow of my throat.

I slipped on my form-fitting black dress that accented my baby bump perfectly. It was one-shouldered and knee-length, and it suited me nicely. And, it was long enough that none of the cuts on my thighs showed.

My hair fell in a waterfall of curls down my back and over my shoulders. The purple was vibrant again, the black glossy. I wore silver dangly earrings, and I changed the stud in my monroe from a plain silver ball to a diamond stud.

I applied some simple makeup, just black eyeliner on the top and bottom lids. I curled my lashes and dabbed on some mascara, finishing up with some clear lip gloss.

We were having supper at the Ozera residence, meaning the palace, meaning we had to dress up.

I left my room and padded barefoot downstairs. Everyone was there except for Mom, which didn't surprise me. She took ages to get ready.

When she finally did come down, I saw why she took so long.

Her long hair was weaved into an intricate updo, with little diamonds placed throughout it. Her makeup was simple, much like mine. Her dress was a gorgeous shade of red, and it was sleeveless, with ruffles around the neckline. It was simple but elegant, falling to just below her knees.

"Let's get this show on the road," she said, grinning.

I pulled on my simple black heels and my peacoat, and then we all made our way to the palace.

"Never again am I walking through snow in heels," I muttered once we arrived, pulling my coat off. "My feet are freezing."

Skye chuckled. "Well, they look nice with your dress, so suck it up," she said, smirking. Skye looked nice; she wore a white satin dress that had a very fitted bodice but had a poofy skirt. It was strapless, with a beaded bodice, and it fell to just above her knees. She wore pretty pink heels with it, adding a splash of color to the outfit.

"Whatever," I grumbled, hanging my coat up. "I'm going to find Julian."

I navigated through the twisting halls until I was outside of Julian's bedroom door. I knocked, and he called, "Come in."

I opened the door, and a grin pulled up the corners of his mouth when he saw that it was me. He strode over and rested his hands on my hips, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to my lips.

"You look beautiful, Nik," he said softly, green eyes raking up and down my body.

I felt myself grin. "You sure I don't look like a fat cow? 'Cause that's what I feel like."

He rolled his eyes. "You could never look like a fat cow, Annika. You're gorgeous, even more so with my baby inside of you. So don't think of one second that you look fat, because you don't."

I blushed. "How come you always know exactly what to say?" I questioned.

There was laughter in his pale eyes. "Because I'm just that good."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Shut up and kiss me already."

He grinned widely and kissed me again. His hands rested firmly on my hips, while mine laid on his shoulders. His lips were warm and soft, as always. I really couldn't think of anything I loved more than the feeling of his lips on mine.

He was still grinning when he pulled away. "I love you, Annika. I don't think you'll ever know how much I really do," he murmured, brushing a stray curl out of my face.

I smiled softly. "I love you too, Jules."

He kissed my forehead and let go of me, heading over to his closet. "Now, I have to finish getting dressed, because Mom will kill me if I'm late for dinner. And," he said, turning to face me, "I need to give you your gift."

I grinned. "I was wondering when you were going to give it to me," I said jokingly.

He chuckled and pulled a green dress shirt from a hanger in his closet and put it on. He buttoned it quickly and then grabbed a black tie from his closet.

I watched, thoroughly amused, as he attempted to tie his tie. It was pitiful, really. So I walked over and gently took it from his hands, tying it for him. Dad had taught me how when I was little, and I amazingly still remembered.

His green eyes stayed fixed on me as I tied it. His gaze did crazy things to me, and I found myself biting my lip as I met his eyes with my own.

"Thanks," he whispered, his eyes darkening.

"No problem," I breathed.

As he was turning, I grabbed him by the tie and pulled him to me, unable to help myself. I crushed my lips to his, hanging on to his tie like a lifeline. He groaned, and his hands went up to tangle in my curls. His lips were fierce against mine, just the way I liked it. Unable to resist, I took his bottom lip between my teeth and bit it gently, eliciting a throaty moan from him. He pulled my hair gently, and I let go of his lip, instead meeting his tongue with my own.

We'd been making out for a few minutes when we heard, "Okay, that's just gross. I think I'm blind!"

We broke apart, finding Melody and Harmony standing there. They looked cute; Melody wore a pretty forest green dress with cap sleeves, and Harmony wore a blood red halter dress with a black bow around the waist that tied in the back. Harmony was the one who'd spoken.

Julian sighed. "What do you guys want?"

"Mom told us to come and get you, because people are starting to get here," Melody reported.

"But you guys have been too busy sucking face to know that," Harmony muttered. Her blue eyes flicked over to me. "You might wanna fix your hair before going downstairs. It looks exactly like someone's been running their fingers through it for the past five minutes."

I groaned. "Thanks, Harmonica."

She mock-saluted me and then they left. I ran straight to Julian's bathroom to inspect my hair, finding that Harmony's description of it was pretty accurate. I tried to tame it as best I could, but it wasn't as nice as it had been when I first got here.

Julian had put on his jacket, and he held his arm out for me to take. I did, and we made our way down to the enormous dining hall arm-in-arm.

"Your gift will have to wait till later, I guess," he said as we descended the stairs.

I laughed. "I guess so."

Just as expected, there was tons of people. Stupid, stuck up royals with their guardians standing stony-faced against the walls. Much to my distaste, I spotted Marissa with her family, sitting at one of the tables. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that she was there; her mother was the princess of the Lazar family. She sat beside her older, bitchier sister, Felicity, who sat beside―

"You've gotta be frigging kidding me," I mumbled.

Sitting beside Felicity was none other than Drew Drozdov.

I'd thought that when he graduated last year, I'd never have to see him again. But by the looks of the way that Felicity was ogling him and draping herself over him, they were dating.

As if he sensed my eyes on him, his Caribbean blue eyes flicked over, meeting mine. He smirked and winked, and a shudder passed through me. I guess I knew how Marissa found out about the bite.

Julian followed my gaze and scowled. "Come on, Nik. Don't pay any attention to him," he whispered in my ear, pulling me along.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded, letting him pull me to our table.

All through dinner, Julian was shooting me worried glances. I smiled at him, trying to convince him that I was alright, even though I wasn't. Truth was, I was far from alright. Seeing Drew just threw me off.

When dinner was over, everyone moved to the ballroom for the dance. I did my best to enjoy myself and forget about Drew. I danced with my friends and let myself take a break from worrying about everything.

I began to tire after a while. My back was aching and my feet were killing me, so I told Julian that I was going to sit down.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" he asked.

I smiled. "I'm sure. Enjoy yourself, Jules."

"Okay . . ." he said, not sounding sure. I pecked him on the lips and headed towards where the seats were.

As soon as I sat down, I ripped those God-awful heels from my feet. I sighed with relief once they were off.

"Belikov," a cool voice greeted me.

I froze. That voice . . . it had haunted my dreams for two years.

I slowly turned my head. My eyes met the Caribbean blue ones of Drew Drozdov. He wore his typical bad-boy smirk, and I felt like I needed to take a shower after his eyes raked up my body.

I inhaled sharply. "Get away from me, Andrew," I said, my voice strong. I wouldn't show him how unnerved he made me.

He held up his hands in surrender, still smirking. "Just came to congratulate you on your baby," he told me. "Never thought you'd be a teen mom, since you're such a prune. But I guess you're just full of surprises." A thoughtful expression came over his face. "You know, when Marissa told me you were pregnant, I was surprised. I thought you'd just gotten fat. But the whole pregnancy thing makes more sense, I guess."

I gritted my teeth and stood, walking away. No way was I letting that bastard see me cry.

I all but ran out of the ballroom. I was going to the bathroom; I needed to get away.

I shut the door and locked it behind me once I was in the bathroom and sunk down on the floor, leaning against a wall. I opened my clutch purse and pulled out something I'd snagged at dinner: a knife.

Taking deep, sobbing breaths, I held the knife firmly in a shaking hand. I was waging an inner war; should I, or shouldn't I?

Do it, my inner voice whispered. It'll make you feel better.

Sobbing, I pulled my dress up higher on my legs until the old cuts were exposed.

Come on, Annika. Stop hiding it, that same voice whispered.

I stared down at the smooth, unblemished skin of my wrists. Did I have it in me to do it?

Taking a deep breath and holding it, I closed my eyes and slid the knife across my wrist.

I let my breath out slowly and opened my eyes.

Crimson blood poured from the deep cut. It stung like hell. But it wasn't worse than when I'd cut my thighs.

I cut myself a few more times before I started to get dizzy. I realized distantly that I was losing too much blood. The thought strangely made me giggle as I watched the dark liquid spill from my wrists. My head started to droop, and I didn't have the strength to hold it up. It felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds.

My eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and I just wanted to sleep.

I vaguely heard pounding on the door and the frantic cries of my brother before I slumped, my head hitting the floor as dark spots completely obscured my vision.

Alek's POV

I'd been slow dancing with Nicki when it happened.

It was as if a veil covered my vision, replacing what was in front of me with images of another place.

Annika sat on the floor of one of the many bathrooms, tears pouring down her face nonstop, slashing at her wrists with a knife that she held so tightly, her knuckles had gone white. Sobs clawed their way from her lungs.

And then she sat there, watching with strange curiosity as blood poured from the wounds she'd inflicted. A giggle escaped her.

The vision ended, and I was nearly sick on the dancefloor.

Nicole's icy eyes searched my face, filled with worry. "Alek, what's wrong?" she asked.

I didn't answer her; instead, I ran and grabbed Skylar's arm, jerking her away from Mason.

"Aleks! What was that for?" she demanded angrily. She paused then, seeing the expression on my face. "What happened?" Her voice was serious now.

"No time to explain; Annika's in trouble," I replied. "We need to get Dad."

She nodded. "I'll find him; go to Annika. I'll be able to find you."

Without anything further, I took off in search of the bathroom I'd seen her in.

After trying three different bathrooms and coming up empty, I finally found the right one. I could hear the giggles.

I pounded on the door. "Annika!" I yelled. "Come on, Nika, open up!"

I heard a thump, and then I pounded harder.

Skye arrived with Dad moments later.

"She's in there!" I screamed, pounding once more.

Dad gently grabbed my shoulder and pushed me out of the way. Skye hugged me tightly, while Dad prepared to knock the door down.

In one, sudden movement, my father rammed his shoulder into the door. There was a sharp crack as it flew open, revealing all of the horrors of my vision.

Annika lay on the floor, unconscious, in a pool of her own blood. She was deathly pale, and I couldn't even tell if she was still alive.

Dad cursed in Russian and ran in, scooping her up like she weighed nothing.

"Go tell your mother that I'll be at the clinic," he said breathlessly.

Skylar nodded, but I wasn't leaving. "I'm going with you," I said firmly.

He sighed but nodded, and we ran off, trying to get to the clinic before it was too late.

Skylar's POV

I ran back to the ballroom, tears blinding my eyes as I tried to find my mother. I couldn't calm myself enough to lock in on her exact location. I was too shaken by the image of Annika, lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood, by her own doing.

I finally spotted the bright red of her dress and ran as fast as I could, nearly trampling a dancing couple. They glared at me as I ran, but I didn't even care.

"Mom!" I cried.

She turned, a smile on her face. That smile dropped, however, when she saw how distraught I was.

"Skylar, what's wrong?" she asked, her fingers brushing my hair back.

I sobbed. "It's Annika," I managed to choke out. "She . . . oh God, she's so stupid!" I wailed.

"Honey, calm down and tell me what's wrong." Her voice was calm, but I could see the panic building in her eyes.

"Alek had a vision. We found Annika just laying in the bathroom, bleeding . . . so much blood . . ."

"Was she attacked?" Mom asked frantically, gripping my arms hard.

I shook my head. "No, and that's the worst part. She did it herself," I sobbed.

"No . . ." Mom whispered. "No, no, no!" Her voice gained volume with each word. "Where is she?"

I sniffled. "Dad and Aleks took her to the clinic."

"What's going on?"

Oh no.

I turned slowly, finding Julian there.

"What's going on?" he asked again. "Did something happen?"

"Oh, Julian . . ." I didn't know what to say.

His green eyes widened, filled with understanding. "Is it Annika?"

Barely, I nodded.

He looked like he'd been punched in the gut. "Where is she?"

I sniffled. "The clinic . . . Jules, she was cutting herself. She probably has been for a while, but no one's noticed. I mean, there were no cuts on her wrists before . . . but something must have set her off tonight."

His eyes darkened. "Drew. I'm going to kill that stupid motherfucker!" he snarled.

"Drew?" I questioned. "Drew Drozdov?"

But he didn't answer. He stalked off, looking beyond pissed.

Julian's POV

I should've known that something would happen. I should never have taken my eyes off of Annika.

I searched the crowd for Drew, ready to pummel him. There was no doubt in my mind that he'd done something to her.

I found him with the Lazar bitches, laughing about something. I was behind him, so he didn't see me coming.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and jerked him around, wasting no time in pulling my arm back and punching him as hard as I could in the face.

He recoiled, his head snapping back. My hand throbbed, but I shook it off.

"What did you say to her?" I demanded, my voice steely.

He barked out a laugh. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. So I'm going to ask you again: What did you do to Annika?" My voice held the familiar tone of compulsion. He was going to tell me exactly what he said to her or else I'd make him live his worst nightmare.

He tried to fight the compulsion, so I layered it on more thickly.

He lost the battle, spilling exactly what he'd said to her. With each word he said, my anger grew.

"You asshole!" I screamed. There was terror in his eyes. A dark feeling enveloped me, and I stared deeply into his eyes. "Tell me your biggest fear," I demanded.

"Snakes," he gasped out, caught in the thrall of my compulsion.

So then, I made him believe that he was surrounded by snakes.

He screamed nonstop, trying to escape the invisible snakes. I laughed, the darkness inside of me thriving off his terror.

It had gone on for less than a minute before I was tackled to the ground. I thrashed, trying to flip over onto my back and fling the person off of me.

"Julian! Enough!" Skylar cried. She was perched on my back, trying to hold my flailing limbs.

"Come on, Jules! Let him go!" Nicole screamed.

But I was too far gone to listen.

"He needs to pay," I growled. "He's the reason that Annika did it."

"It doesn't matter! Can't you see what you're doing to him? To yourself?" Nicole asked, tears streaming down her face.

I turned my gaze back to Drew, who was flailing around, bawling like a child.

"It doesn't matter. He deserves it for what he did."

"Julian, please!" Skylar begged. "I don't wanna knock you out!"

I growled and threw her off of me, standing back up.

I was so absorbed in watching as Drew begged for mercy that I didn't notice Skylar come up behind me with a vase until she smashed it over my head.

Oh damn. Did I really just do all of that? I think I did.

Go ahead, tell me how much you hate me right now. I'm kinda hating myself right now...so go ahead xD Sorry, guys, but it had to be done!

Next up: More drama! ;) Don't you guys just love me?

Anyways, please review! I haven't been getting much of those lately...

Until next time!

~ Sar ~