Thanks to Tayjayfan for reading over this transition chap.
The lyrics are from a perfectly unusual song from the same artist who does an all-time fave: Be Like Water.
"Afraid" by Sarah Fimm - youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=02PoYkaCvIM
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Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy.
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I'd like to hold you close
Make you feel safe
Not so afraid of yourself
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If we have to part, so it shall be
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I'd like to help you suffer less
Not be so locked up in your thoughts
Afraid of love and all under the sun
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I'll hide out in your space
Emptiness on my face
I'll be keeping you safe
When you're cold and alone
Til you come out and play
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21 Play
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head hanging
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muscles jumping
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fire
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burning
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he was burning alive
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The white-hot rage that consumed his soul made Jacob's entire being boil and simmer under the surface of sanity, loosening it from the mooring quick.
He drew in a deep shaking breath from where he was hunched over in the leaves hoping it would help cool that inferno.
It did nothing but fan the flames.
"You doin' okay, Chief?"
The sound of a human voice was shocking to his system, like being thrown an ice-cube in hell. He turned the trinket remembrance over in his mind before it evaporated completely. It was enough though.
It was always just enough.
Jacob burst to his feet, branding his eyes with his fists for a moment before he let his hands fall to his sides. He rolled his shoulders reminding himself he was in a man's body. Over the last 26 hours and 43 minutes it had been so frighteningly easy to forget he was human.
His burning eyes blinked soundly and then snapped to the two wolves with an intensity that cracked like a whip, making them cower with the sting.
Paul and Leah had scrambled back from his movement. Now their gazes burrowed into the ground while their muscles strained against the instinct to turn tail and flee. They were scared of him - as they should be. They understood now: they'd had a glimpse of just how he burned inside.
Fuck, he'd probably be scared of himself too if he'd taken a moment to think about it. But that would entail using a moment he didn't have. If he allowed so much as a millisecond of inattention, he could lose control...
of this rage,
of this fire,
of this gut-wrenching need to rip out the throats of anyone between him and having her safe in his arms.
A low growl percolated under his diaphragm and Jacob lunged for that 200 year old oak (again). He threw a punch into the bloody, bashed-in indentation that he'd made over the last hour when his sanity was popping at the inseams with the effort it took to prevent this rage from exploding like a Napalm bomb...
Into the Pack mind.
Over his two wolves, standing at obeisant ready.
Through the bonds to his mate that he'd left hanging flaccid in his fear.
He slammed his other fist into the tree, putting his weight into it and listening to the satisfying crunch of shattering knuckles. And again... over and over. He pummeled the huge tree so fucking hard that it groaned and branches fell to the ground.
He relished the pain - it kept him in his skin.
It was just too much.
too much for the wolf to allow his imprint within a million miles of a leech's stone cold hands.
too much for the Alpha not to have his mate in his arms and under his protection.
too much for the man to know his best friend was frightened and alone.
But then Jacob had known that.
And like he did with his Pack, he'd played his own weakness as a strength. He'd prepped Sam and Paul that he'd probably lose it at some point and if (when) that happened, gave them permission (and an order) to try and bring him down.
Of course they couldn't really, but he figured their attempts combined with his protective Alpha instinct (that covered his Pack), would be just enough of a distraction to allow Jacob to rein in the beast.
He'd hoped.
What he hadn't counted on, however, was that the cocksucking parasite would sneak into her goddamn room.
The Cullen's had tolerated the fact that he'd had to pace the ridge a behind her house - a mile and a minute away from his mate (there was simply no way he could have endured it otherwise). Oh, they taunted him mercilessly of course, probably hoping to whip him into a frenzy so something just like last night would happen. When Bella had awoken - running vulnerable and open - to see that motherfucker sitting in her rocking chair, it had happened alright.
Understandably, Jacob had lost it. Completely.
Jacob ground his snarl through his bared teeth as he slammed his fists into the tree with increasing fervor.
He was going to rip off that bloodsucker's balls and shove them down it's throat before he shredded the rest of it and watched it burn.
Fresh blood spattered over the battered bark and the bones cracked and crackled up his arms. He pulverized his knuckles as he tried to beat his rage (and himself) into submission. With a final growling punch, Jacob collapsed against the tree. Bracing his forearm against the splintered trunk, he leaned his head against the wood while his breath heaved in deep whooping gasps.
But Bella had saved him from himself.
Once again.
He'd been trying to protect her from his rage, but she'd flayed herself open like a sacrifice on the altar of his madness and the darkness that infected his soul had fed from her bleeding heart. He'd siphoned off her love to quench that fire in contemptible ravenous gulps until she was left with nothing but despair.
Bella would brave the fires of hell to bring him back - and she had, in point of fact. That she loved him no matter how bad he fucked up or lost it to the wild? That the wolf in him had an imprint, the leader had a mate and the man had a best friend to stand at his side? It was a truth that was slowly blossoming into an entirely different kind of self-dominion.
She gave him strength. She gave him balance.
Just enough, in fact, for Jacob to wrestle control from such terrifying rage that under any other circumstances would have laid waste to it all, sanity included. She didn't know it, but shamefully she had saved Sam and Paul from serious injury... or worse.
But they did.
With a grunt, Jacob socked the tree a final time and then pushed off the oak. Letting his head fall back, he drank in cool air from the drizzling sky as he shook blood off his hands and listened to it spatter to the leaves with the rain. He had just enough time for the bones to re-knit again. He had calculated it, of course. Everything he did now was
Especially until this demon was turned into purple ash (both of them).
With a low groaning exhale, Jacob cracked his neck and then tipped his face back down and studied his two wolves. Paul was wilted and barely holding himself up by a sapling while he panted like a racehorse. Leah was gasping on hands and knees in the leaves. Jacob was able to psychically spare both the Pack and Bella from the fallout, but being in such close physical proximity to the scent of violence along with the sheer igneous energy of his rage took it's toll on his two wolves.
"Paul, Lee, you okay?" Jacob didn't even recognize his own voice - it was gruff and gritty, more vibration than sound.
In unison they both looked up with strained bloodshot eyes. Dutifully nodding, they staggered to their feet.
Jacob was pleased.
Even though every single one of them was worn down to the bone, his team hadn't disappointed. He'd had faith in them and - as Bella had taught him - that was three fourths of the game. With very little time for prepping (but a scheme that worked his Pack's organic weaknesses and strengths) Sam, Paul and Leah had helped him carefully orchestrate his own demise.
The best way to lead was to give free rein to the right player at the right time. Wolves needed a certain level of dominance and containment to stay in control, but whenever possible, Jacob let each of them do what each of them did best. It was all a game of manipulation, not micromanagement: put the right skills and personality into the right job and things would work like a well oiled machine. Even though Embry, Jared and Quil didn't know they were in play by necessity, they had performed perfectly to the tune of their natures and heart with just the subtlest of subconscious pushes from their Alpha.
He'd used the same strategy with Charlie: given him the basic pieces and let him make the moves he saw fit. And the man had either done a fucking brilliant job of playing an impossible game, or he'd unequivocally betrayed them all.
Jacob could work with it either way
Through it all, he'd wanted to reach out to Bella so badly, but - in addition to needing her emotions authentic (especially with that blond leech that read feelings) - truthfully he was worried about his control. He didn't want to risk subjecting her again to his living hell. And feeling how distraught she was and what she was enduring? He'd never make it through this ordeal with his sanity intact.
Except for the monitoring of his Pack and necessary message to Embry, he kept the vault door locked and bolted - nothing in, nothing out - while inside his rage consumed him.
Jacob had just one more piece to settle into place before the moment of truth - the moment when that truck came over the hill... or didn't. The moment he found out whether Charlie had betrayed them, whether Embry had put loyalty over fear.
And whether Bella had remembered.
"They'll be coming down Route 4 in about 15, Paul," he spoke crisply, surely. He never allowed even a spore of doubt to infect edicts to his wolves. Fear grew like a fungus and it was his job to give them strength. "Run to the intersection and wait to guide them back."
They were in the woods down a gravel access road that was just far enough off the path Embry and Bella would be taking to the old Hanson house. If they were coming.
Fucking faith, Black.
Just like he'd asked of her in this crazy thing, he needed to have faith (but if things had broken down he still had to have a plan B, C and D. All of them were messy).
Paul nodded brusquely and immediately his hands came to his shorts. Leah started to jog back into the brush to change out of her sundress, but he stopped her with a look.
"I need to talk to you, Lee," he said simply.
He watched her eyes subtly widen before she jerked her chin in assent.
Paul and she exchanged a brief glance (that spoke volumes: he was reassuring her, she was telling him she was worried but okay). And again Jacob was pleased.
In such a short time, Leah had truly begun letting herself integrate into her Pack. The Alpha in him had had to break down her walls with a wrecking ball when the man would have used a toothpick over time, but he needed her focused and ready in this war. So far she'd done an excellent job as a part of the inner circle of this plot. The faith he'd placed in her had done miracles to straighten that spine.
Paul turned around and shucked his shorts off, diving fluidly into the phase. Leah blinked from the sight of his flashing ass and met Jacob's eyes with a shaky brado that valiantly tried to cover her nerves.
"I guess there's a few fringe benefits to this thing," she smirked, rubbing her hands on her dress as she stepped back to lean against the tree.
Jacob didn't miss the part about stepping back.
He decided to help put her at ease; he'd have to make this next play faster than he'd have liked too.
"I'm pretty sure you just gotta be a girl to get Paul to pull down his pants," he gave her a wry smile and then turned his back, pacing a few steps in the soggy leaves.
Jacob gave her time to get her bearings while he centered himself too. Bella had already done the work for him with that astute insight and observant mind, but to say he was distracted right now was the understatement of the century. As always, he was watching his entire Pack in the recesses of his mind while he was reviewing his contingency plans for this war and struggling with the lid on the Pandora's box of his rage. All on top of being sick with worry for his mate. It was a shitty fucking time for this delicate play.
But he simply couldn't wait any longer
Jacob spun on his heel and surveyed the female wolf before him while he rubbed his swollen hand up a forearm that was throbbing deliciously with healing pain. It would help keep him focused. He dove in with no preamble:
"Why Sam, Lee?" he asked quietly.
The question caught her completely off guard - which was the point - and Leah's eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she pushed off the tree.
Jacob waited, keeping his face completely neutral as his palm rubbed slowly up and down his arm. As Alpha he was privy to the innermost thoughts of his Pack (and kept them safely under lock and key unless he needed them). But right now he did: he needed to know if she'd processed this. It would affect his plans.
Leah swallowed audibly as she folded her arms over her vulnerability, hands going to each elbow and rubbing nervously.
Jacob cocked his head as he took a step toward her, his gaze cataloging each micro expression of her face.
Good: she had realized it, but hadn't quite parsed it out.
"Hmm, Lee?" Jacob crooned with the intensity of a predator - which he was afterall. "I always wondered why a girl like you would get engaged in high school."
Jacob continued prowling toward her as her wide eyes darted up and got trapped in his. "And to Sam?... you guys..." he sniffed a quiet laugh with a little shake of his head.
There were many ways to be dominant, but some of those ways clashed more than others. Sam and Leah were both dominants, and - make no mistake - they clashed. (When they were lovers, that is; as friends it was a different story.)
Her eyes darted off to the side from the burn of holding his gaze. Jacob stopped about a foot away from her, watching that gazelle-breath jumping quick and light.
He brought a hand to touch her chin, petitioning the return of her gaze. "I want you to be yourself, Lee," he whispered. "Tell me... why Sam? You were never in love."
Leah blinked rapidly, but he could see the burden of expectation evaporating from relief in her eyes.
"How did you know that?" she breathed.
Jacob's lips spread in a slow smile. "It's my job."
He pinched her chin reassuringly and then turned his back, pacing back toward his punching-bag tree to give her space. He mimed a slow-motion punch while he waited and then experimentally clasped and unclasped his hands, testing his knuckles. It was just about eight more minutes until they were back 100% - after his and Bella's bonding he healed faster too.
His mind turned to his Pack: everyone was in place: Paul was at the intersection and waiting; Sam was pacing circles around his house and the imprints. Jared and Quil were worried about Embry, but keeping the cubs in line and their borders sealed...
"I just... decided," Leah suddenly injected the words into the quiet weeping wood.
Jacob turned to find her watching him with eyes that were glazed by memories.
"Sam was the strongest man I knew," she whispered. "The only one I couldn't break."
Jacob's gaze gave her privacy and he watched his bruised hand trace the splintered bark of the poor brutalized tree.
"I just got sick of hearing it y'know?" she whispered. "Mom telling me I had to be more fucking ladylike. Kids calling me lesbo at school, people telling me I'd never find a man. I just thought if I-..."
She suddenly turned her back as her head bowed. "I liked hanging out with the guys y'know. Sammy was always a good friend and hooking up was fun... I mean..." she stopped with a soft laugh. "But yeah, we fought. A lot. But Sammy's such a daddy under it all. He wanted a family... I just wanted to get it all over with so I could get on with my fucking life. Seemed like a good enough deal. Best on the Rez anyway."
She wiped a palm down her face. "Then when all that shit with Em happened. I mean, I didn't understand," she rasped, pain bubbling up in her voice. "And everyone just said.. 'see, told ya, bitch.'"
She gasped at Jacob's hand on her shoulder and turned around with her lips pressed together over the liquid sadness in her eyes. "But poor Emmy," she breathed, a telltale hitch in her voice. "Poor Sam..."
"Shh," he soothed, turning her all the way around and placing his hands on each shoulder as he looked deep into her eyes. "They're okay, Lee. They are. Em's happy, Sammy's getting better. It's not your fault, it's just this crazy fucking shit we all got thrown into."
His eyes held steady while her gaze paced between them frantically, looking for bullshit or lies. She found none.
"So are you okay with it?" Jacob asked quietly. Everything was relative, of course, but from what he saw in her heart she was. Pride and ego just took a little longer.
Leah licked her lips, stiffening under his grip uncomfortably and he let his hands fall to his side.
"Yeah, I am," she whispered, her gaze falling between them. "It's kinda a relief, y'know?"
Jacob didn't answer, but just watched her gathering herself - watched thoughts and realizations sinking in. Finally she sniffled as she lifted her chin. "So why the fucking shrink session, huh?" she laughed harshly, her voice still buckling over emotion like frost heaves in the road.
Jacob adjusted his posture and clasped his hands behind his back. "Because I need you to be Beta and it wouldn't work unless you'd looked at this shit. Not with Sammy running third."
Leah frowned with defensive disbelief. "Fucking Beta? As in, Second?" she scoffed. "This some kinda consolation prize?"
Jacob's lips flashed up from his canines "I asked Bella who she thought was best, and-.."
Leah's lips twisted in a smirk that covered insecurity as she turned away. "Keep your enemies close?"
Jacob couldn't help the growl that ripped from his chest. His hand reached out and yanked her back to face him as he seared his displeasure into her eyes. "I don't do any fucking bullshit for pity or anything else," he snarled. "Everything I do is for the good of the Pack."
Leah's eyes fell like lead as she naturally tipped her head to bare her neck in lupine appeasement.
"You're the best for the job, that's all there is to it, Lee," he spat, releasing her. "Bella sees it. I agree. You gotta sharp mind, a strong will and a calm head when it isn't playing the victim. You don't need a man to be strong - you were born to be a leader, Lee."
He paused, watching to see how she was processing all this. She wanted it - she was just scared It was what she'd been looking for, she just didn't know it: a place where she could use that strength among a Pack that had her back. Again her eyes darted up to his, pacing restlessly over his face and gathering courage from his certainty with each pass.
"You ready to step up?"
Leah stared at him for a moment and then cocked her head as that snarky personality filled in the final cracks of insecurity. "So do I get a badge or something?"
Jacob didn't even smile. Instead he took a step in, slowly raising his forearm up, wrist out.
Bella's truck still hadn't crested the hill where Paul waited and he was starting to worry. But he needed to take care of this first... for the good of the Pack. If something broke down, he would not leave them leaderless again.
"Bite, Lee," he whispered.
Her brow furrowed in shock. "What?"
"Bite," he repeated, heating his voice with soothing velvet to settle her human nerves. "I let Paul and Sam bite me last night. My blood will help you keep the Pack together if you have to step in." He'd had his father relate everything he knew about transferring power in a Pack - his old stories were good for something afterall.
"Wh-what?!" despite the heated power sparkling around them, Leah's voice was stretched over panic.
But unfortunately he didn't have time to wait for her warm to the idea.
Jacob's other hand slipped around the nape of her neck. "You're the only one who can keep them together, Lee. I won't leave my Pack without a leader again," he spoke in low hypnotic tones as he gently urged her in toward his arm. "Sammy, Paul and Embry will help. You can do it together."
"Jake, no," she gasped, meeting his eyes with fear. "You can't leave."
"I won't if I can help it," he crooned. "But you're smart enough to know I'm gonna fight to the death."
"B-but," she stammered, yet he could see the wolf in her starting to react to the scent and will of her Alpha.
"Let go, Leah," he breathed as he brought his arm to her lips. "Let your instinct -..."
Like a steel trap, her teeth snapped with feral gusto on his arm and her inadvertent groan vibrated against his arm. Jacob stoically watched her suckle against skin for a moment before she released him with a gasp.
Leah swayed on her feet with a soft moan as her eyes rolled with the infusion of power - just enough to rise up should the need demand. It should also help shore up her confidence and strength for the next leg of this battle.
Jacob's hand slipped from around neck to rest on her shoulder, steadying her, while the other wiped a drop of his blood from her lips.
Her eyes fluttered open, the pupils wide and then abruptly contracting in his eyes. For several seconds she just stared at him - silently communicating a million things that her ego would never allow her to say. In that moment she was open and strong - a woman and a leader and a glimpse of who she would be someday. It reminded him of Bella - how different they were, but also how similar. Strength was such a funny thing - dominance had nothing to do with it. Bella was the perfect complementary counterpart to his dominant energy - feminine, sensual, submissive... yet somehow even stronger than this tough woman before him.
Yet it reminded also him that Leah was undeniably female, no matter how tough she was and the man in him would never have touched a woman as he had. Jacob had known that the dominant in her needed a harsh push to break down those walls and the new frightened wolf needed the boundaries of containment, but in that moment - thinking of his mate and how he'd have killed a man for less - there was still something unsettling about it.
Jacob brushed her ebony bob back from her face, feeling the sticky blood on his hands catch in her hair.
"In the kitchen Saturday... the Alpha in me..." he began quietly, the words also uncharacteristically catching in his throat. "I-...I just see Pack... not woman. I'm still figuring shit out." It was as much of an apology as she would get because in the end she was a wolf to an instinct that made no divisions based on gender, but only saw needs, ability and strength.
But Leah got it - her lips hitched up slowly in a novocaine smile that was sly, though still drunk from the infusion of power. "Don't go all pussy on me," she whispered, the soft intimacy of her voice at flagrant odds with the words. "I was just starting to respect you a little, Black."
Jacob sniffed a laugh and leaned down to press his lips to her forehead. "You're such a bitch, Lee," he breathed over her skin.
Pulling back he saw the first sincere smile he'd ever seen on her face and it was something beautiful to behold. He wished he had the time to just sit back and enjoy.
But Bella's truck still hadn't come over the rise and now that this hurdle was out of the way, instantly all of Jacob's attention snapped to that fact. Embry would have been keeping an eye on her no matter what, so if something had gone wrong, he'd have sounded the alarm. But still...
"Do you think she's safe?"
Embry's dusky voice thankfully brought Bella out of increasingly morose thoughts. Bella turned from watching trees whip by out the passenger window.
"I know she is, Emb," she whispered soothingly. "She's in school and then she has a yearbook meeting this afternoon."
Embry kept his eyes on the wet road but nodded stiffly. The windshield wipers droned on in clumsy thunks over the the soft swish of rain.
Bella had related everything she knew about Anglea to his voracious attention and watched him tuck away each word behind that new yearning in his eyes. He just wanted to see her, to spend time with her, to learn to love her. It was interesting to see imprinting without resistance - Embry had complete faith in his heart.
"Shit!" Embry spat.
Bella bolted upright in her seat as her eyes followed his intense gaze out the windshield. They had passed the last building of Forks proper a few miles back; she saw nothing but trees.
Icy dread trickled down her spine. "What, Emb," she breathed.
Embry's nostrils flared, and he glanced at her. "They're chasing us," he murmured grimly.
"Who?!" Adrenaline was instantly searing through her veins.
One of Embry's hands left the steering wheel to engulf hers with comfort. "Shh, sweetheart," he soothed. "It's the Pack."
Bella blinked in surprise, scanning the woods again. "Who?" she repeated.
"Paul," Embry growled.
Bella's brow furrowed as she shimmied her hand free and turned around to press her face to the passenger window. Now that she knew what to look for, she could just see flashes of grey in the dark dripping woods keeping pace with the truck.
Biting her lip, Bella started rolling down the window.
"Bella, what are you doing?!" Embry hissed, reaching out a long arm to snatch her wrist.
Bella glanced over her shoulder. "Embry!" she bit out curtly, not meaning for her stress to sizzle in the word.
The man instantly released her as his eyes swooped down to the seat.
Oh, crap.
"Sorry, Emb," she whispered, reaching out to his hand to ground her sincerity with touch.
He clasped her hand for a moment in silent acceptance of her apology then returned to the wheel with a subtle lift of his chin.
But it was clear, she had inadvertently changed the dynamic between them from lifelong friends to solemn duty. They might have known each other since they were kids, but now she was also his Alpha's mate and that was something altogether different. It made her own shoulders settle back with the weight of responsibility - she had a duty too to Jacob as well as their Pack.
And right now, that was all about faith.
She turned back to the window and pumped it down the rest of the way with laborious jerks of her arm. "Paul," she gasped into the whipping wind and cold needles of rain.
The wolf yipped as he loped closer to the truck. She should hate him right now - he'd attacked Jake - but she... didn't. When she had grown to trust Paul Lahote was beyond her, but she simply knew she did.
So when his easy burst of speed took him past the truck to an access road turn-off, Bella firmly directed Embry to follow.
He did so without pause or question.
"He's here, Emb," she breathed, whipping back around to him as the truck bumped and lurched over the gravel road. She could feel Jacob- that subtle hum in the marrow of her bones.
Embry glanced at her and flipped his hair out of unreadable eyes. "Y'sure?"
Bella nodded vigorously, watching the wolf's spine stiffen.. He was still worried - but Bella wasn't anymore.
"It's gonna be okay, Emb," Bella whispered, reaching out to rest a reassuring hand on his thigh. She watched the magic of touch ripple through him as he sucked in a slow breath. "I think it's all somehow part of his plan."
Embry's brow furrowed and he glanced at her with dubious eyes.
And then slammed the truck to a halt.
With a shriek, Bella caught herself on the dash and her eyes snapped to the huge, gorgeous bare-chested man who was nearly upon the truck with his smooth lightning gait.
Bella scrambled to her knees, gasping his name as she threw herself out the window. His arms, so strong and sure, caught her easily, pulling her legs out the truck as he gathered her to his chest. Bella dove into his neck and her legs clamped around his waist like a vise. She was never letting go again.
"Jake, Jake, Jake!" she sobbed into his skin, yanking his scent into her starving body between each lament. Her arms squeezed him with all of her might.
A big hand cupped the back of her head while his arm wrapped tightly around her and she wept in relief.
"I'm sorry, honey." His voice was deep and gentle and was quite simply the best thing she'd ever heard in her life.
Bella abruptly pulled back, her eyes taking frantic inventory while they leaked hot unapologetic stress over her cheeks. Her fingers frantically traced over his face in their wake, smearing his lips and smooshing his nose in their fervent play to reassure herself that he was real and healthy and here.
The bloodshot eyes that stared back at her were anguished and tired... but they were clear. She couldn't believe she'd ever doubted him.
"I'm so sorry," he breathed. "I had to play it like that, Bells...I couldn't-..."
"I don't care," she wailed and then crashed into his lips so hard their teeth clicked.
Then she was kissing, kissing, kissing. Pushing the salty taste of fear past his lips. Her fingers twisted in his hair pulling him closer closer closer while he moaned quietly into her mouth. He tasted so incredibly good - warm and male and mate.
Finally, her anguish spent, she collapsed against his bulky shoulder and just silently wept.
"Shhh, honey, I'm okay," he soothed as his hand rubbed over her back. "You did so good, Bells."
Jacob's gaze darted out to where his wolves were respectfully giving them at least the illusion of privacy down the gravel road. Paul and Leah were giving Embry the breakdown.
"Bells," he breathed. He'd let her take what she needed first. Everything felt a hell of alot better with her in his arms, but cruelly they had only a few minutes.
The urgency in his voice had her sitting up in his arms instantly. She wiped at her face with an impatient sniffle. Her amber eyes were heated with gold as they flickered over his face, gathering all the little pieces of him that had been pulverized by 27 hours and eight minutes without her safe in his arms.
"I-...you-.." he breathed, the words getting caught in his throat as his brow furrowed. He needed her help, but it was just so hard to admit it. He wanted to be perfect for her.
A finger stilled his lips and then her cool hands slipped to his jaw. For a moment she just held him in her accepting gaze, in her tender palms. And then she gave him exactly what he needed
"Love you," she whispered as she leaned forward to press her lips to his in a silken honey oath. At the same time she unabashedly opened herself to him, the soothing liquid femininity of her being sluicing over the fires that still burned in his soul. Bella kissed him, slow and sensual and deep as a soft hum caressed his lips and finally he had peace.
'Open, Jacob,' her voice was like mercury coalescing with a slickery grace over his resistant mind. 'Let me in.'
He'd been holding everything in so tightly it was hard to let go. But with that gentle patience of hers, her energy seeped through the iron walls and ferreted out his fear, coaxing his humanity tenderly back up to the surface.
Finally their minds joined and they each broke the kiss with a gasp at the overwhelming pleasure of being reunited again. Bella pulled back, gazing into his eyes with a love and wonder that wasn't so different from the first time they'd imprinted. It was just surer.
Deeper.
Stronger.
"Bella," he breathed, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. "Mine."
A beautiful smile spread over her face.
"Mine," Bella whispered as her finger traced along his scruffy jaw. Jacob's eyes stayed locked with hers as he walked them slowly down the road and she simply relished feeling whole again.
"We just a have another minute, honey," Jacob murmured, pushing her wet hair behind an ear with a grimace of regret "Paul and Embry are going to take you back to the Rez."
Lightning images flashed through her mind from his: Jacob and Leah were going to go on to the old Hanson house, posing as Embry and Bella in the hopes of catching James from information given by Edward. Bella was being sent back with the other imprints.
Bella worried her lip as she looked into his intense eyes.
Finally she collapsed her forehead against his chin. "I don't want to leave you again," she whispered as she looped her arms around his neck in a feeble attempt to somehow make that possible.
"I know honey," he murmured, drawing in a deep breath of her scent. "It's almost over. Do you know what's going on with your dad?"
Bella sighed heavily, stroking her fingers over the nape of his neck. "He sold us out," she whispered.
"No he didn't, Bells," Jacob rubbed her back soothingly and Bella jerked her head back to look at him with disbelieving eyes. "He took you to school this morning, right?" he smiled.
Bella nodded.
"I texted him last night," he whispered. "He's just one hell of a fucking actor."
In a flash of his memories he showed her how he had texted Charlie late last night a simple directive: "school a.m." In that one brief mental download Bella suddenly understood just how much Jacob had been controlling information in a game with a mind-reader.
And just how smart her father had been.
"He's meeting with the Cullens and your dad this morning," she breathed. "He was going to pick me up at noon at school. Can I at least stop by my place to get some clothes?" She was uncomfortably wet and she just didn't want to wear someone else's clothes right now.
Jacob rolled his lips and then his gaze darted thoughtfully behind her.
Bella looked over her shoulder to find the three wolves mere steps away and staring back at them with that cagey ready. It was then that she realized just how intimately she was clinging to Jacob and, as color charged to her face, Bella wiggled to get down.
Jacob, on the other hand, didn't seem the slightest bit embarrassed to be so openly showcasing their intimacy in front of his wolves - he let her down, but didn't come close to letting her go. Leaning over he almost absently pressed his lips to her hairline before pulling her possessively into his side.
"Embry," he reached out an arm and the man stepped in to clasp forearms. "Thanks, man."
"He imprinted," Bella smiled gently, speaking to the stress she still saw in the wolf's eyes.
Jacob didn't let his friend's arm go. "I felt it," he said quietly. "Who is she?"
"A really good friend at school, Angela," Bella informed him, sending him a memory of both Angela and the imprint in the parking lot.
He glanced down at her, a smile softening his lips before he met Embry's gaze again. "Makes sense," he murmured meaningfully. The two of them had been close friends since childhood, it only made sense for their imprints to get along well too.
Embry's gaze dipped to the forest floor as his lips seemed to battle between a sentimental smile and a worried grimace. Bella's heart thudded painfully and she looked up at Jacob; he was studying the man carefully.
"So change of plans: Paul's going to take Bella to Charlie's place to pick up some clothes. Embry, run ahead and scout for leech - James or Cullen," he ordered quietly as he released his friend.
Embry flipped his hair out of his eyes as he looked back up at his Alpha with attentive eyes.
"Billy and Charlie are meeting with the rest of the Cullens - I think they'll distract them as long as they can - so Paul, stop by Charlie's on your way to the Rez," he paused looking back down as Bella. "Edward wasn't at school?" he asked her.
Shaking her head, Bella looked up into his eyes sending him a quick mental summary.
Jacob nodded subtly. "So the blond is still at school or at least staying out of things for now," he summarized for the other three. "That motherfucking mind-reader and the witch must be with James - and the rest of them are with our fathers. Everyone's accounted for."
Jacob pulled her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her.
"Emb, once they're at Charlie's, run down to Forks and keep an eye on things there - see if the blond leaves school or if James circles back looking for Bella," he ordered quietly.
Bella leaned back against his chest, looping her hands up around his big forearms and squeezing gratefully: he'd made sure Embry could also keep an eye on his new imprint. Even in the middle of a war, Jacob took care of his own.
"We gotta head out," Jacob announced and Bella stiffened, even though she knew it was coming. "Emb give me your sweatshirt."
Jacob turned her in his arms and Bella's arms snapped around his waist. She looked up into his face fearfully.
Jacob's hands slipped up to cup the back of her head as he bent down to place a long caressing kiss to her lips. Bella closed her eyes and frantically gulped down every taste, scent and sensation. She wanted that kiss to last forever, but Jacob gently but firmly pulled away. "Just a little longer, honey," he breathed over her lips, warm and tender.
Bella nodded brusquely, biting her lip as she squeezed her eyes closed on the burn of tears.
Jacob's big hand pulled her to his chest for a moment.
"Can you give Leah your jacket, Bells?" his voice finally rumbled under her cheek, and Bella pulled away with a juicy sniffle. She stepped back, slapping embarrassed palms over the wash of emotion that had silently leaked down her cheeks.
She met Jacob's concerned gaze, and pulled the zipper of her macintosh down with one hand as the other dug out her phone and keys. Her eyes cut over to Leah standing just steps away; it surprised her, but there wasn't the usual brash impatience in her eyes.
Bella peeled off her damp jacket and handed it to the wolf.
"I might pop a few seams on this thing," Leah smirked, reaching out to take it.
Their fingers brushed - intentionally on Leah's part, she realized - and the hum of lupine touch shimmied up her arm. It was a step in the right direction for Leah.
Even though she tried to deny it.
"But I don't envy you tryin' to keep Lahote outta trouble," she laughed around a wry smile. "That's a fucking losing battle right there."
Bella looked out at the wolf who was wrinkling his nose in a sarcastic sneer. "I think it's more of a harm reduction kinda thing," Bella chuckled softly, trying to do her part to keep things light. It didn't really help the lead weight that had replaced her heart in her chest.
Paul's gaze darted down to her and he gave her a wolfish smile that only partially covered the intensity that was gathering below the playful veneer. "Ready, little girl?" he opened his arms.
Bella glanced behind her to find Jacob watching her intently as he shoved an arm in each sleeve of Embry's hoodie.
'I can't do this if you shut me out again,' she silently told him. She didn't want to put any more stress on him, but it was simply the God's honest truth.
Jacob yanked the sweatshirt over his head and in the next breath had swooped her up in his arms bridal style.
Bella blinked rapidly from the head-spinning, supernatural speed as he pressed a kiss to her lips. 'I won't as much as I can.'
She knew it was the closest thing to a promise that he could give her. Bella pressed her face into his shoulder as her arms wound around his neck.
"It'll be over soon, honey," he whispered.
Then he was pressing her into another heated chest. Bella opened her eyes to find Paul's gaze locked with his Alpha's as she was being gingerly transferred into his beefy arms. Bella hadn't really thought about how Paul was going to take her back to her house, but somehow this mode of transportation hadn't even crossed her mind.
For a moment, Jacob paused, staring into the the wolf's eyes with incandescent fire.
"You know I got this, Chief," Paul whispered, his face chillingly intense.
Jacob nodded once and this his gaze darted down to meet hers.
Bella's arms tentatively slithered around Paul's neck as she held her lover's gaze. "I trust him. Jake," she murmured - quiet, but sure and true. She wanted them all to hear it.
With a last entrusting glance at his Pack mate, he released her and took a brisk step back.
A cold wet sensation on her ankle had here squeak and look down at where Embry's wolf was nuzzling the swath of skin between her jeans and chucks. With an apologetic lupine chuff, the animal tossed his head and cantered out into the woods. The rain was starting up again in soft rushing whisper over the canopy of leaves.
"I got ya, Bella," Paul's low voice rumbled against her and Bella blinked up up in surprise at those keen black eyes watching her - not a trace of his signature smirk was left in that sober expression. It was the first time she'd heard him call her by her name.
He held her gaze for a moment, allowing her to see clear down past all the damage and deflection. In a flash of insight she realized that all this bravado and machismo had been slathered on over a profoundly sensitive heart.
"I know," she whispered simply. With a final glance at her mate, she laid her cheek on Paul's shoulder and readjusted her arms around his neck.
Paul turned his back on his Alpha and jogged easily out into the forest after the loping beige wolf.
Jacob watched him go as he pulled the hood up on the sweatshirt.
"Paul's the best fuckin' scrapper I've ever seen," Leah's voice pulled Jacob's attention to the woman stuffing her arms into a jacket that was about four sizes too small. "Y'know... other than you."
He knew she was trying to be reassuring, but that was his job. His lips flashed up reflexively from his canines, but his heart wasn't really in it.
Leah's eyes darted down to the ground anyway with a private smile. "Y'know, Black, if you want me to be Second, you gotta actually accept a little help every once in awhile," she mumbled cannily, socking him in the shoulder as she strode smoothly toward the truck.
Jacob's nostrils flared as he watched the woman yank open the passenger door without a backward glance. He cut his eyes out to the empty woods and then turned on his heel after her.
Bella had been right - she'd said Leah was probably the only one who could deal with his "hair-trigger-macho-thing" without getting her head ripped off. Whether it was the absence of pungent testosterone or something else, the wolf in him didn't view her as the same kind of threat.
Jacob came around the truck and threw himself in the driver's side, turning over the engine and fluently throwing the vehicle in reverse even before he'd closed the door. They were late - still in the acceptable range, but they only got this one chance.
"You gotta scoot down, Lee," Jacob growled as gravel flew up with clanging percussion.
Leah dutifully hunched down in the seat and pulled up the hood of the jacket (which did look pretty stupid only covering about ¾ of her arm - but it was more about scent than anything). If he'd played this thing right, James and Edward would be running sloppy and not expecting a trap in a million years.
Jacob spun the truck backward out onto the empty road and then peeled off with the squeal of tires.
"Aww," Leah laughed quietly, pulling a piece of paper from the dashboard.
The rain had started coming down hard again, and he flipped on the windshield wipers as he glanced over at the picture being held up by his Second with a lopsided smile.
He sniffed as he returned his eyes to the road, keeping his face pointedly stoic even though he knew she could hear the double beat of his heart. Jacob could feel Bella's love slowly changing him - not only with its accompanying balance but with a different set of rules. He'd have time to figure out what it all meant later.
"Embry's imprint drew it," Jacob said quietly. Bella was open and her memories were drifting through his mind as Paul ran with her through the forest.
"Not bad," Leah nodded in his periphery as she examined the drawing for a moment more before replacing it on the dash. "So you guys have some kinda mind-thing?"
Her deconstruction didn't really surprise him. That girl was sharp. Jacob wasn't in the habit of keeping things from his Pack if it wasn't necessary, but he hadn't figured out how he wanted to play this yet. Especially in light of Billy's stories about legendary warriors coming back with their mates. He and Bella had decided to ignore them for the time being, but the information had quickly filtered out to the rest of his Pack. He could feel their confusion fear - frankly that unease had made it as easy as it had been to push them into turning their backs.
But if Leah was his Second, he'd have to trust her.
"Yeah we do," he murmured, glancing into the rear-view mirror as he slid down a little farther in his seat. He was a good bit bigger than Embry too. " 'Haven't figured it all out yet." He glanced over at her with a dark look that effectively ended the discussion.
Completely unperturbed, Leah's gaze slipped out on the road as she leaned back against the seat. "I like her, Black," she said simply.
The corner of Jacob's lips hitched up as he settled back himself and steered them through the rain hopefully to the last stand of this thing.
At his prompting, Sam was now filling in Jared, Quil and the rest of the Pack. They would be heading down to the Rez's south border - just several miles and minutes away from back-up and the old Hanson house. It was an abandoned mansion a few miles upriver from the River Inn on the far outskirts of town. It had a reputation for being haunted - so folks steered clear except teens on Halloween - and it was the perfect rest-stop for a crazed and healing wolf.
Jacob watched his Phased Pack congeal with relief and understanding around the revealed play as he infused them all with reassuring heat and pushed them to move.
"So you know what to do, Lee?" Jacob asked as the truck turned the last bend to the river.
Leah glanced over at him with business-like nod as she pulled the hood farther down over her face. "You get psycho, I grab the pansy."
"And if things go south, you just get outta there," he bit out grimly. She was the fastest of the Pack - faster than even Quil.
"You want me to just turn tail and run?" Leah barked a soft laugh. "No way."
Jacob jerked the truck into a screeching halt in the road as he turned to her. "It's my job to take care of you, Lee," he hissed. "And if something happens to me, you take care of the Pack. That's the way it goes down, otherwise you can get out of this truck right now."
Leah turned into his searing gaze - it was the kind of intensity that didn't force her eyes to the floor. He was speaking to her as Pack-mate... as equal. He wouldn't Order this kind of loyalty.
"I got it, Jay," she whispered - sincere and true. She drew in a deep breath as she licked her lips. "I'll take care of her too."
Bella. She was offering to protect his mate - he'd chosen a better Second than he could have hoped for.
Jacob nodded curtly. "There's one more thing I need you to understand Lee," he said quietly.
At his tone she blinked twice, the slightest furrow appearing between her brows. She could tell what he said next would be important. Actually it was more important than anything he'd said to her to date.
"Harry wasn't your fault, Leah," he said slowly, succinctly, watching the jagged pain shoot across her face pulling her gaze down with her head. "It was mine and mine alone."
He paused then, waiting for her eyes to focus back in his.
"And I'm sorry."
'
"What are you thinking about so hard there, Swan?" Paul murmured.
Bella blinked up to see him watching her out of the corner of his eye as he jogged with the ease of a machine through the dripping forest. They were almost to her house.
She shook her head and leaned back against his rain-slicked shoulder. She was watching Jacob's heart hemorrhage, but she wouldn't tell him that. Both she and Jake were worried about Leah - she'd had so much heartache in such a short time - but somehow he was bringing her through it with strength, not vulnerability. Bella couldn't wait until this thing was over so they all could heal... providing they survived it of course.
"I can't believe my dad was faking everything," she murmured, redirecting her own thoughts as well as Paul's. "I mean the things he said."
"Well when you gotta lie, best to make it as close to the truth as possible," Paul chuckled. " 'Specially with supernatural noses, a mind-reader and an empath all in the same fucking room."
"How did you know about Jasper?" Bella picked her head up in surprise.
The corner of Paul's lips hitched up as he looked down at her. "Jake was pacing laps behind your house, yesterday. Charlie dropped some hints."
"But my dad asked the Cullens why they didn't just kill him," she mused, shaking her head in disbelief.
"He was probably just fishing for info... plus have you seen the way your dad looks at Jake?" Paul barked a laugh. "There's definitely part of him that wants to kill 'em all right."
A soft yip had Bella whipping around to where Embry was circling back.
"All clear, pup?" Paul gave him a saucy smile.
The wolf chuffed in annoyance.
Bella blinked and scanned the woods again, suddenly realizing they were on the ridge above her house. Paul, jogged down the embankment toward her back yard. Embry followed them closely to back porch.
"Fuck, I can still smell the bloodsuckers all over this place," Paul spat - a sentiment that was echoed in Embry's rumbling growl.
Bella's nose wasn't that good. "But they're not here, right?"
Paul shook his head. "It's hours old."
He was up the stairs in two fluid leaps and then let her slither down to the porch.
"Thanks," Bella smiled up at him, rubbing her hands on her jeans.
Paul gave her grin that covered up his discomfort and patted her pertly on the head.
Bella dug her keys out of her pocket, bringing her phone with them as she turned to Embry sitting at the bottom of the stairs and panting up at them.
"You're going to head into Forks? Keep an eye on Angela for me?" It was certainly a rhetorical question, but the wolf seemed to need the dismissal. The animal tossed his muzzle and stood, swaying back and forth on his forepaws. Bella jerked her chin toward the woods and the wolf turned tail and loped across the back yard.
With the jangle of keys, Bella crossed the porch to where Paul pulled open the screen with a casual hand at odds with the furtive intensity with which he cased her yard. She pushed open the door and Paul slipped in before her with serious eyes and a staying hand. He prowled silently across the kitchen as Bella shut the door behind her. The house felt dark and empty - the rain pattering across the tin roof of the porch and hitting window panes like a whisper.
A soft fleecy thunder shook the distance and a shudder went down her spine. Bella hunched her shoulders against the damp chill that crept over her now that she was out of Paul's unnaturally heated arms. She needed to dry off and change clothes - she headed for the dryer to fetch a clean towel..
But her phone buzzing in her hand made her freeze in her tracks. Taking a deep shaking breath she set her keys down on the counter and flipped it open to the single text from her father's number.
Bella: need to talk. Call when alone. No wolf.
'
"Why are you alone! Where is he?!" Jacob bellowed, ripping the leech out of Leah's hands and throwing him against the truck with a crash that was echoed by distant thunder.
"Looks like I caught me a rat," Leah smirked, leaning her elbow against the truck as she surveyed her prize with pride. Jacob had left her in the truck as bait while he sniffed around the still silent house. Apparently when Edward had reached in to snatch the picture from the dash with patronizing words, Leah had sprung like a trap.
Edward's face was frozen in patent shock- it was an extremely satisfying (and telling) expression.
The wolf in him snarled as he picked up the bloodsucker and slammed him again into the side of Bella's truck. This was only half of their prey - and the far wimpier half at that.
"Where's James," Jacob snarled, spittle spraying over the vampire's face. "And the witch."
Something was off here, he just couldn't put his finger on it; James was nowhere to be seen (or scented). Prickling instinct crawled up the back of his neck like an army of ants.
Edward's eyes looked just as confused - and afraid.
"He thought psycho would be here too," Leah whispered.
Jacob glanced at her worried eyes and nodded in agreement.
"Something's wrong," he growled.
'
Something was wrong.
Bella was still frowning at the text when Paul crept back in the room. She could count on one hand the number of times her father had texted her.
"The house is clear," the man informed her quietly, his brow furrowing at her expression.
Bella nodded absently, as she leaned back against the counter and considered the text. There was a funny little feeling in the pit of her stomach. But with this last week was it any wonder?
"I'm gonna get changed out of these clothes," Bella murmured, pushing off the counter as she met Paul's gaze with troubled eyes.
"You okay?" he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets insecurely. He thought she was uncomfortable with him - she could see it in his eyes..
She nodded, snapping her phone closed and slipping it into her back pocket. She was going to trust her father enough to at least find out what he had to say - she'd owed him that much. She felt horrible saying the things she had to him when he had been doing what was best for her, just like he'd said.
And she hadn't trusted him.
She climbed the stairs feeling nervous and edgy and went straight to her room. Another wave of storm was coming in and it whipped against the polyurethane tacked over her window with a volley of rain. Bella closed the door quietly behind her and pulled out her phone.
She paced slowly to her bed as she found his contact and dialed the number. It rang as she sat down on the edge of the mattress.
"Dad, I'm sorry-..."she began as soon as it picked up.
She was stopped by the breathy chuckle on the other end of the line.
"Hello, girl," a cold and clammy voice Bella had never wanted to hear again in her life slithered over static of the phone. "You're going to do exactly what I say or I'll kill him, are we clear?"
Bella couldn't help the catch of terror that turned her blood to liquid nitrogen and made her heart beat brittle.
"Are you alone?" the vampire hissed.
Bella glanced at her closed bedroom door as lightning flickered outside and pushed the word out of her constricting throat in a whisper:
"Yes."
'
'
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