[Recording Entry: 21-a]
This is the SSV Normandy requesting a vector and a berth.
~~~Normandy, your arrival isn't scheduled. What business do you have here?~~~
Citadel business. We've got a council Spectre on board.
~~~Really? Which one?~~~
It's Commander Shepard.
~~~Oh! Come for a visit? Excellent! We've been wondering when you'd show up Shepard! Come on down Normandy, we've got you a good spot right up front. Let me just put out the word, everybody will be dying to meet you!~~~
Wow, Commander. They sound happy to see you...
Yeah...well, I AM a Spectre so it's only natural that people would get excited when I turn up. In fact, I think all the places we touched down so far have been abnormal compared to this one.
You think? I mean we're not in C-Space anymore. Doesn't it seem a little odd?
Look Joker, it's not every day you get to meet the first human Spectre. This is totally legit.
Well...if you're sure. At least they're not trying to set our ship on fire this time.
I told you already. That was a miscommunications error.
It was a human colony-
Enough! Tell ground team to get up and meet me at the airlock.
Alright Commander.
[End of Recording]
[Recording Entry: 21-b]
JAY-BABY! WE'VE MISSED YOU SOOO- wait. Who the hell are you? We were told Commander Shepard was here!
I AM Commander Shepard.
NO! You're a WOMAN. Where is John!
John? For god's sake...you're thinking of my brother. I'm Jane Shepard.
Well the tower told us that JOHN would be here!
The tower told you that the Spectre Commander Shepard would be here!
Exactly!
What? I'm telling you that I AM the Spectre Commander Jane Shepard.
You're not a real Spectre! We've already met him so don't try those lines on us!
Seriously? John isn't the Spectre, I am!
She still says that even though we know the truth! Shameless!
The Commander may well be shameless but she IS the Spectre here.
Thanks C-Sec. What part of this can't you get through your thick skulls!
It's a load of horse crap, ma'am, and you know it!
No, it's true. You're just mixing up our initials!
But...I mean...John said...
John said what?
~~Matsuo! Is John here yet?~~
What did John say!
No Parasini-san. It's just some woman who says she's a Spectre too.
Hey! Don't ignore me!
~~What? Who the hell is that!~~
Says she's Jane Shepard, John's sister?
~~I didn't know he had a sister! She's not a Spectre!~~
Oh for fu-!
Commander, no! Calm down!
LET ME SHOOT THEM ALENKO!
Ah! No firearms allowed! We are authorised to use lethal force! You have until the count of three to put down your weapons! One- Two- Thr-
Commander! Let's just get John out here to clear this mess up!
Wait! John's here? Where is he! Bring him here!
No! I'm not speaking to him!
BRING US JOHN OR WE'LL OPEN FIRE!
Oh really! Well in that case maybe I'd better...SHOOT YOU BACK!
Jane NO! Garrus, go and get John, quick!
NO C-SEC DON'T! STAY HERE AND SHOOT THESE CHICKS WITH ME, IT'LL BE FUN!
Garrus, go!
STAY WHERE YOU ARE! THAT IS AN ORDER!
I...
Garrus!
I'm sorry, Alenko. I'm not going to disobey an order.
That's the stuff, C-sec! Tell you what, this weekend we'll visit somewhere you want to go.
I...thank you, Commander...
Now let's do this!
Do what now?
JOHNNY! YOU CAME BACK!
JOHN? You were supposed to be on the ship!
Yeah, but I figured I'd come and say hello to all my friends here on Noveria! Hi girls!
John! This woman wasn't going to let us see you! Who is she to you anyway?
Oh, this? This is my sister, Janey!
What the bloody-hell is going on?
She said she was a Spectre! But we know it can't be true because-
Sh sh sh, now now girls. That's no way to talk to humanity's first Spectre now, is it?
But you sai-
Sterling! You've done something with your hair, haven't you?
I...why, yes. I have. Do you like it?
I love it! Come on, let's not stand around out here in the cold. Why don't I take you girls for some hot chocolate?
We missed you John~
Let's go - ah! Security, let her through. She's with me.
I...what? WHAT? Why! This isn't fair! It's just not fair! Why is it ALWAYS HIM WHY DOES HE ALWAYS - ARGH! GOD DAMN IT. WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER DOING ANYTHING EVER!
Jammy, naw! Where you storming off to? Look, you dropped your gun!
SHOOT YOURSELF WITH IT, ASSHOLE.
[End of Recording]