That One Time I Fell In Love
(And Other Impossible Things). Fred Weasley II finally meets his match in the form of one loud-mouthed and free-spirited, Emma Terry. [NextGen GIR World!]
Chapter 21: That one time I got real.
When I woke, I felt like my head was being used as a Bludger. Dear god, I'm dying!
"Nnngggnnn …" I groaned, rolling over.
"Oh, hey."
I opened an eye warily. I was still crumpled up in a heap on Emma's sofa, soft sunlight now shining behind the curtains. Emma was casually lounging sideways across her armchair, eating toast and watching what looked like the news on TV. The Yoda onesie was currently tied around her waist so that it looked like she was wearing fuzzy green trousers, along with a white tank top. Shit. I'd seen Emma at her best and worst. I'd seen her looking like a bloody model at the Cursebreaker gala we'd been forced to dance at, and I'd seen her first thing in the morning just like this. She was still hot. She was always hot. Fuck, I loved her.
OHHHHH NO.
"I think it's coming back to me," I moaned.
"Uh-huh," Emma shot me a frosty look. "For the record, I hope it hurts."
"Cheers," I muttered, reluctantly hauling myself upright and wincing. "At this point, everything hurts and nothing is ok."
"I think you just described our relationship in one sentence."
I glanced over at her. "I need coffee."
She gestured vaguely to the kitchen, eyes determinedly not leaving the TV. "Go nuts."
"I actually mean coffee, not the flavoured water that you drink."
"I actually mean coffee as well," Emma threw back. "The amount of times you've crashed here, do you really think I still don't have coffee somewhere?"
That took me aback. She could act so distant and yet still have bloody coffee in her shelves simply because I drank it, just like I had tea at my place. By the time I had a steaming mug in my hands, my head was all but splitting open and Emma looked like she was about to transform into a demon and devour my soul at any second.
Merlin, this has been a right cock up.
"I'm sorry," I began, unable to look at her.
"You bet your fucking arse you are."
She almost made me smile. "I always meant to owl you back … I just …"
"If you meant to owl me back, you would have," Emma shot. "Don't screw with me, Fred."
"Ok, fine, I was ignoring you and I am so sorry," I told her. "I should've just said that I needed space away from you rather than leaving you in the dark."
"It wasn't fair, Fred."
"No, it wasn't," I hated how disgusted I felt with myself. I hardly ever regretted anything in my life! Even totally bad decisions I always figured had a little merit in at least teaching me something. Like the time I tried these brownies laced with a hallucinogenic potion at a party when I was 18 ("Oh my god, James! Jaaaaames! Have you ever considered the evolution of the Spotted Screwt? WHOA, IS ROSIE'S HEAD ON FIRE?") … lesson learned, don't do drugs, Clara. But despite the massive fuck up that that night had been, I still didn't regret it. It was just life, experience, something I'd done in the end and learned from.
But I regretted acting like such a wanker to Emma.
"Look," I gripped my mug tightly and finally looked up at her. She was watching the TV like it wasn't even there. "I know I said some things last night. I can't remember a lot of the specifics, but I know I yelled a lot … I was very drunk and … considering how I've treated you recently, I know it wasn't fair."
"Obviously," Emma said, though her tone was slightly gentler now. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. Either way, I felt her turn to look at me and finally asked, "What exactly do you remember?"
Oh god.
The ball was in her court now, right? I'd said everything that I needed to say, did I really need to rehash the embarrassment of me rambling about how much I loved her before throwing up in the kitchen sink?
Because of course I remembered it. Of course I remembered every fucking second of last night. It gets blurry around the edges, but I wasn't about to forget something like that! My mouth opened and closed for a few panicked moments as I tried to come up with something to tell her. Like, I know it hadn't been my finest hour. I KNOW I was a fuckhead and that I'd treated Emma like shit recently, but honestly … just the fact that I said it was enough, right?
Like, I said it. I SAID IT! Never in a million years did I think that I actually would! Sure, it took a lot of alcohol and a lot of yelling and I did it in probably the worst way possible, but still – I SAID IT. I felt lighter already! This was exactly what I'd needed, at the risk of admitting that my sister may have been right (shhhh, we don't mention it). I'd finally just said it, and now I could get past it. It was out. I wasn't hiding anything anymore. Emma knew everything and now, she could do with it whatever she wanted. She was in charge, here …
I eventually managed to shrug, keeping my eyes on the floor. "Not much, really."
There. Come on, Emma, let's move on from this.
She tucked her legs underneath her and fidgeted with the buttons on her onesie. Neither of us said anything for a long moment and I'll admit that I was a little scared of what I would see if I looked up again. MAYBE a tiny voice in my head (that sounded suspiciously like Libby) was saying that I should have just told her the truth, but I wasn't about to do anything that she didn't want, and I had no idea what was going on in her head. At least now Emma could pretend along with me and everything could just go back to normal! We could eventually be ok … though, of course, a small part of me wondered if she was about five seconds away from confronting me. I still had no idea what I wanted to happen if she went in that direction …
She was still silent, so I drank my coffee to stop my hands from shaking. Then, with no warning, she spoke up.
"I think I'm sort of seeing someone."
I looked up so quickly that something snapped painfully in my neck. I swore, rubbing it as I stared at her. I'd been avoiding glancing up for this exact reason, because it stabbed at me when I realised that she STILL wasn't quite meeting my eyes. We couldn't even look at each other, now! DAMNIT, exactly how badly did I screw this up?!
"It was Sarah's birthday a few weeks ago and I went out to dinner with her and a bunch of mates–" Emma said.
"You don't have to explain," I tried to say.
"–I end up sitting next to a friend of her husband's," Emma carried on firmly despite my words, her voice quiet and steady. "and I'll have you know, I'm startin' to get pretty damn good at flirting now. We've hung out several times since then. And he's not a douchebag, at least so far. I think it could maybe go somewhere …"
For a second, it seemed unfathomable that all this could even be true. How I could NOT know a single thing about it? Like, mate, this is Emma, so WHO THE HELL WAS THIS FUCKER? But then again, who's fault was it that I hadn't spoken to her at all since February? It was more than just plausible, it was the most obvious answer. I still remembered her at that ice skating rink where I'd accidentally seen her on a date. She had laughed nervously but looked amazing and of course. Of course that was going somewhere. Why wouldn't it, who wouldn't want her?
So, fine. I had two options, here. Option 1: make like a jealous arsehole, storm out and never talk to her again (had its merits, seemed a bit dickheadish when I was trying to avoid such a thing, would probably be better in the long run).
… or Option 2: tease her like normal and carry on like absolutely nothing happened (would have to listen to future stories about said bloke, would maybe still get to be her friend, absolutely terrible idea).
"Woooo, so I've missed a lot!" I cracked the widest grin I could muster. "Emma's got it goin' awwwwn. What's his name? Can I run a background check on him? OHHHH, NO," I added as Emma gave an exasperated groan, hiding a small smile. "Don't have to. You can see it in his eyes whether he's a serial killer or not. Trust me, I'm an expert …"
"Oh, HELL TO THE NO," Sapphire exclaimed.
"Oh, hell to the yes," I countered.
"But there's no way," she said, her elbow linked with mine as we walked down the road, heading in the direction of the Museum of London Docklands together. "There is no goddamned way that you left it like that! You can't just pretend that shit didn't happen!"
"I can and I did," I snorted.
"BUT YOU SAID I LOVE YOU!" Sapphire cried.
"I am well aware of that fact and I'm currently trying to forget it," I said, a hint of irritation creeping in now.
"Are you nuts?" Sapphire asked me. Her pretentious scarf was hitting me in the face and I was starting to forever regret the day I had somehow let Sapphire Bates become something of an actual friend. "Legit let me know, 'cause I do worry sometimes."
"What did you expect?" I scowled at her.
"Not for you to fucking ignore the entire thing!" Sapphire groaned. "Shit, you've been ignoring that girl for over a month! I'd be bloody pissed myself to begin with, and then when you tell her that you love her – which, by the way, I'm still reserving judgement on whether it happened – she turns around and tells you that she's seeing someone else? And you make like NOTHING HAPPENED?"
"Yep," I shrugged.
"UGH!" Sapphire banged her head against my shoulder a moment. "You are killing me, Fred, you really are."
"Well, what did you want me to do, Saph?" I shot back. "Never see her again? What?"
"I wanted you to get over your bloody selves and snog already!" Sapphire said furiously.
"She's going out with someone else–"
"For god's sake!" Sapphire burst out. "After everything you two have been through, you seriously cannot pretend nothing happened, here! You can't pretend everything's ok, because it's not. You been crushed by this entire fiasco, don't lie to me, it's written all over your bloody face. She probably has too, 'cause she wants nothing more than to be mad at you and then you go and say things like that! I mean, damn it Fred, didn't you think at all?"
"Hey, I thought it through!" I said. "I'm a rational adult!"
Sapphire snorted so loudly that the people in front of us in the street actually turned around.
"Honey, PLEASE," she said.
"Really!" I insisted. "I left it up to her! I told her that I didn't remember anything, so she knows I'm lying and she could have confronted me and said that I'm full of shit if she wanted. But instead, she turns around and tells me about fucking Date Number 156, so what the hell else am I supposed to say in response?"
"You could've fought for it," Sapphire said firmly. "You could have told her the truth, you could have told her you want to give a relationship a go–"
"But I don't want to!"
"You're in love with the girl!" Sapphire said, exasperatedly.
"Yeah, and what I'd like best is to just forget all about it!" I scowled back. "Look, Sapphire, I don't regret telling her. I wanted to. Needed to, even, because I never wanted any of this! I just wanted a good time and I ended up with things getting way too complicated and painful. I literally tried everything else to get over her, so this was, and is, my last shot to move on from this. You really don't need to tell me that I'm crushed by it, though, because I already know that and it's the reason I'm currently trying to block out the memory so that I don't snap and fucking kill something!"
Sapphire glanced at me then as our actual destination for that morning finally came into view.
"Fred," she said quietly. "Ok, I get you. It was emotionally cleansing or whatever shit you want to call it. But at the end of the day, someone rejected you. No matter what … it's ok to feel sad about that."
Oh god, here we go.
"I'm not sad," I burst out. "So leave it the hell alone. In the meantime – WHY MORNING, GOOD SIR!" I added in a yell to none other than Head Auror Donald Huntley.
Huntley turned at the mouth of the alleyway, apparently with an already predetermined 'not amused' look on his face. "Weasley, Bates," he said through gritted teeth. "Why does this not surprise me?"
"We heard a body dropped," I told him cheerfully. "Just here to lend a hand!"
"Yeah, you stick even a finger over that tape and you'll lose a hand," Huntley glared.
"Aw, come on!" Sapphire, thank the lord, was dropping the topic of conversation for now. We were officially on the same side once again as she tag-teamed with me, "Think of us as consults. We're consulting!"
"Don't you two have jobs or something?"
"I tracked a guy all the way to Wales so that I could be here," Sapphire answered proudly.
"Yeah, I fobbed my case off onto Danielle," I admitted.
"You're real dedicated, huh?" he said flatly.
"Oh, go on Huntley!" I whined, trying to peer past the Head Auror's giant bulk and into the alleyway between two buildings in Canary Warf, which was now apparently a crime scene. The natural group of gawking bystanders was starting to form around us now, the Magical Law Enforcement Officers looking like normal police men to the Muggles. I knew that Yael, Kayla and their team were in there somewhere, looking the part of detectives, and I struggled to try and catch one of their eyes so that we could get let past Mr Killjoy here. Admittedly, we weren't even supposed to know about the body, only Sapphire and I may have conspired to convince Auror Liam Bolton to give us a call if something to do with the Reddale case came up. The young Auror who worked closely with Yael and Kayla had been only more than happy to help out. Crashing the scene I know doesn't exactly sound like a smart idea, but it did come as a perfectly good distraction from the rest of my Emmatastic life, and it was either this or try and track Reddale down ourselves and I dunno 'bout you lot, but I like being alive!
(Also, I'm not that STUPID).
But apparently Huntley had other ideas.
"Kindly remove yourselves from this very active crime scene, or I will be forced to remove you myself," Huntley snapped.
"Fine, fine," I said. "but let it be known that if Reddale gets away with this, then it'll be on you!"
"I'll take my chances," Huntley deadpanned.
We waited a moment, frozen to the spot. Huntley didn't budge.
"PLEEEEEASE!" Sapphire and I both burst into abject begging because apparently, we weren't above that. Thankfully, Yael noticed us before we had to get on our knees.
"Fred, Sapphire!" he yelled, hurrying over to us. "What're you guys doing here?"
"We want to help!" I called out to him.
"They are banned from this crime scene!" Huntley burst out over top of me. "Auror Ingleson, they are to go nowhere near this case!"
"It's really him though," I asked Yael. "Isn't it?"
Yael didn't even need to confirm. It was clear behind his tired dark eyes and the fact that he still hadn't shaved his beard yet. Kayla, over by the body several feet away down the alley, heard our voices and glanced up, looking just as haggard. It was literally just them working this, and it had to be eating at them. It had taken them five years to catch the bastard, only for him to escape right from under them. They had a score to settle, and they needed help. I wanted to help. Not only did he hurt me, but he could have hurt my family in that escape attempt. He was hurting innocent people, and he was hurting my mates, because damnit, Yael and Kayla were my friends!
"Liam called us," I admitted to him.
"Sir," Yael pleaded to Huntley. "Agent Weasley's connected to this case, you know that this could be the start of a revenge spree. If anything, he needs to be brought in and questioned about his safety. Let him consult and it could really benefit the investigation. Also, Agent Bates," he glanced at her and I felt Sapphire nod to show her willingness to help. "she has resources. Connections out in the field … we could use her."
Yael gave us a tentative smile, and we grinned back. Huntley glanced between us all, still about as furious as he could get, but he was definitely weighing up his options. Give it ten seconds, nine, eight …
"Fine," he snapped. "Both of you go back to the Auror Office. Agent Bates, work with Auror Bolton, start using those 'connections' of yours. Weasley, assist until Ingleson and Grover come back and can take your statement. This had better help solve this bitch of a case," he muttered, walking away and completely ignoring our outraged faces.
"Ugh, back to the Auror Office?" Sapphire complained. "Who does he think we are?"
"You wanted to help," Yael shrugged. "You're in, at least."
"Yeah, banished to the Auror Office, sharing a desk with bloody Liam Bolton," she whined. "You could've fought for us!"
"Excuse me, I did!" Yael said defensively. "Jesus, did I not just get you access to this case in the first place? If it weren't for me, you would have been escorted off the premises and become another one of those creepsters out in the crowd who get off on crime scenes! And here I thought thanks were in order," He added in a scowl, folding his arms across his chest. Yael was often such a gentle soul that I forgot that he even had it in him to stand up for himself like that. Sapphire sighed and was forced to concede with a small,
"Thank you."
"I should think so!" Yael said with a nod. "Go, I'll see you guys both back at the office."
"… aren't you pissed that we don't even get to see the body?" Sapphire dug at me as we were forced to turn around.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say that you were happy to see such a thing," I said.
"Who doesn't want to see a dead body?"
"Plenty of people who aren't budding psychopaths."
"Hey, I passed my psych eval," Sapphire shrugged. "Seriously, you're not even a little annoyed?"
"Whatever," I shrugged. "I just want to help catch him. Besides, I'm not gonna get to use Huntley as a reference if I keep screwing him around, am I?"
"You're seriously still doing the Auror thing after all this?" Sapphire asked me.
"I'm slowly working through the application," I answered. "I guess we'll see where it takes me."
I normally hated getting into the Ministry of Magic. We were technically government employed, but since our records were connected through the National Magical Insurance Company, rather than the Ministry directly, we were always forced through the ridiculous hassle of the visitors entrance, signing in and registering our wands every time. Sapphire was grumbling under her breath by the time we reached the Auror Office up on level two. Liam Bolton was the Control Auror assigned to Yael and Kayla. His job was to typically work from the office directly, researching, organising warrants and sending prank memos or whatever. He was all right, if a bit enthusiastic. Definitely one of those people you can handle for all but five minutes before you either walk away, or suddenly have the desire to off yourself. Thankfully, right when I was starting to feel murderous ("Agent Weasley, Agent Weasley, take a look at these canvas reports that are starting to come in–!") somebody came and visited.
Someone I knew rather well.
"HEAD AUROR POTTER!" I thought Liam was going to die on the spot. He nearly fell out of his chair at the investigation table in the Homicide bullpen. Head Auror Potter – always my dear Uncle Harry – grabbed Liam's arm hastily and kept him in his seat.
"Whoa there!" Harry exclaimed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you–"
"What are you doing here? NO, I'm sorry, that was rude," Liam forced a grin and elbowed Sapphire in the gut for no apparent reason. "I mean – uh–"
"Don't worry, I'm just here for my nephew," Harry let go of Liam, apparently assured that he wasn't going to be doing anymore acrobatics onto the floor. I glanced up in confusion.
"'sup?" I asked.
"C'mon, Huntley told me that you'd worked yourself into this investigation," Harry jerked his head. "I want to talk to you."
Oh shit. Out of all of my insane relatives, none of them ever really scared me (how could they? Uncle Ron tried growing a beard for about 4 days before he gave up, and Auntie Fleur still gets hit on by teenagers, for crying out loud) but for some reason … my uncle Harry got to me. I know I spent my days in History of Magic snogging Cindy, but even I knew how he killed some crazy psycho murderer when he was like 17. You want a definition of 'BADASS' then look no further than Harry Fucking Potter, Ladies and Gentlemen! I trailed along next to him as he led the way through the winding corridors and bullpens of the Auror Office. Eventually, at the back of the space, we entered a corridor spaced with large offices, the names all high-up ranks; I spotted Head Auror Donald Huntley: Homicide Division on one door. Harry waved a friendly hello to his receptionist as he opened his own office door and motioned for me to come inside.
"Soooo …" I warbled, shoving my hands in my pockets. "I take it we're not talkin' about Grandma's new Cajun chicken recipe?"
"You know, I think the last time I had to speak this seriously to you, it was because you and James forcefully cut off Lily's hair when you were ten," Harry mused, walking over to his desk. "I have to ask, because I never got it out of you guys back then, but whose idea was it?"
"James, but he'll deny it," I answered. "He was mad because she wanted to play with Rosie instead of us."
"What did you want to play with Lily for?"
"We were partners in crime!" I reminded him. "We needed a villain for our game. Lily wasn't interested, so we got payback! … sorry," I tacked on the end there.
Harry snorted softly before gesturing at one of the chairs facing his desk. I tentatively sat down in one, figuring I knew everything Harry wanted to talk about, but not really sure if I was ready to tackle it. Harry didn't sit behind his desk like I thought he would, but instead simply took the other comfy chair so that he could sit next to me.
"Fred, you kill me sometimes," Harry began with a sigh.
"I know."
"Look, I get that you want to help on this case. I wish I could as well, but I have an entire office to run. Not to mention that you have your own job to do. I would never be able to face George or Angelina again if something ever happened to you–"
"But I don't want to do my usual job anymore!" I burst out.
"Yes, Auror Huntley told me about you potentially applying for the next training year," Harry was smiling now, at least. "Honestly, I think it's a great idea."
"Get out," I snorted.
"No, really," Harry nodded. "You would make a brilliant Auror, Fred! Truly, you would, your personality and skills match the level of quality needed for this kind of work. But I'm concerned about you consulting on this case. Especially since it's already high-profile and you're already connected. You're my family and I've got to look out for my family–"
"Aw, c'mon Uncle Harry," I threw back at him with a smirk. "Don't get all soft on me!"
"I'm not going soft," Harry rolled his eyes. "And before you start, don't you dare use Clara against me!"
"Ok, fine," I said. "but you did say that I would make a great Auror, did you not?"
"Once you have been through training," Harry said exasperatedly. "For Merlin's sake, you haven't even had your first interview yet! This isn't the same as catching bail jumpers–"
"I know that!" I said. "I'm not asking to go out into the field, I'm not asking to do much of anything, really. I just … wanna help where I can."
Harry watched me a moment. "Wow," he prodded. "I haven't seen your 'grumpy face' in a long time."
"This isn't my grumpy face!" I cried.
"Uh-huh," Harry grinned. "Grumpy face returns! Oh, I'll have to tell Ange–"
"Shut up," I complained.
"Hey, you and James had the exact same 'grumpy face' growing up, I don't think I'll ever forget it," Harry snorted. "Well, actually, you were always the grumpy one, James was normally grinning if you ever got in trouble. You guys certainly never failed to amuse me, although you did give us heart attacks every now and then. Go on, what's got you all cranky?"
"Nothing! If anything it's you! Jesus, Uncle Harry …"
"Oh, quit with the dramatics," Harry said. "There's something else bothering you, so say it and maybe I'll let you give your statement at the very least," I glanced up at that to see my uncle still sitting there with his greying hair and dorky glasses. That's when I remembered that underneath all that shit of going through a war or whatever … he did get married at the end of the day. Hell, he has a granddaughter now! He gets all that romance shit, right?
Maybe I could talk to him.
"My life is Emmatastic," I ended up grumbling.
Harry blinked.
"Damn," he said. "Didn't expect that one."
"Oh, whatever, I'm not doing this," I scowled, making to get out of my chair, but Harry made a funny protesting sound before yanking me back.
"Yes, you are!" he said. "Now, who is–?"
"Don't pretend you haven't heard who Emma is, I swear it's gone round the whole family," I scoffed.
"Fine. So tell me about her," Harry asked.
I shrugged. "There's nothin'. She's my friend … fuck, I don't know," I refused to look at him as I growled out, "Ok, look … I fell for her and maybe she totally rejected me in response. But I'm fine, it's fine!"
"Hmm. This might sound like a stupid question," Harry mentioned lightly. "But did you actually tell her how you felt? Because if I know you at all, you just flirted with every other person you could find in front of her until she got annoyed and told you to stop."
"Sod off, I told her I loved her," I grumbled, glancing away.
Harry stared at me for a moment.
"Holy shit," he said.
I know, I know, woooo look at all-grown-up Fred! Well fuck you, I don't care. I didn't care that a year ago, Harry's version might've been the truth. I didn't care that it said a bloody lot that I could have even told Emma that in the first place, despite the fact that I was also drunk, throwing up and pretended nothing happened the next morning. Say what you want about precious baby Fred, look how far you've come because I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK, OK?
I nearly said that to Uncle Harry, but thought better of it. "Don't even start," I thundered instead as Harry opened his mouth.
"I'm not–"
"I said don't even!"
"Fred, shut up," Harry cut in, making me look back at him. "If there's one thing I get, it's love. Everyone says it's beautiful and easy and yeah, a lot of the time it is. But I can tell you what I'm sure you've already figured out, and that's that sometimes, it's just bloody terrible. I'm sorry that you've had to go through that. Rejection sucks."
"Yeah, how would you know?" I grumbled. "You're like, ancient."
"Hey," Harry smirked. "I've been around, I wasn't born 40!"
"Aren't you 51?"
"Fine, forty five then," Harry said. "Look, even I've been rejected before."
"Get out. Since when?"
"Multiple times!" Harry told me. "When I was 14, I asked out the girl I liked and she literally turned me down for someone else! Even when I was 17, your aunt Ginny damn near killed me. It was about a week after the second war ended and I told her that I still wanted to be with her. She shut me down completely before punching me in the gut. Hurt like a bitch, too," he remembered fondly.
"There is no way," I snorted.
"You better believe it, 'cause it's true," Harry insisted. "She was still a bit pissed off at me. We'd been through a lot and it took a several months for her to deal with everything. We eventually figured things out … but that rejection still stung. I know, it hurts. Emma didn't punch you as well, right?"
"Felt like it," I muttered.
Harry sighed. "Look, just do what you need to do. Cry. Burn photos of her. Be sad and hang out with James. Just don't be an arsehole about it and you'll be fine"
"I'm not sad!" I said.
"Uh-huh," Harry nodded. "Sure, sure. Please don't destroy anything belonging to her, that's technically vandalism and I'd have to arrest you for property damage – oh, hang on," Harry apparently received an intercom call in his ear, as he paused to listen. "Aurors Ingleson and Grover are back in the office requesting you. Hang on, Fred!" Harry's call stopped me in my tracks as I had immediately wrenched myself out of my seat. I turned and glanced back at him in exasperation only for him to say,
"I'm proud of you."
Goddamn it, Uncle Harry.
"What did Head Auror Potter want?" Kayla asked me once I arrived back at the Homicide Division.
"Uncle Harry things," I answered. "So c'mon guys! What's the dealio with this case?"
Kayla groaned in answer to that, flopping down into a chair at their investigation table in the bullpen. The table top certainly looked like they'd been occupying it for quite some time. Sapphire was apparently still assisting Liam against her better judgement, but Yael was slapping up yet another crime scene photo to the already full whiteboard full of case notes, timelines and victims. He turned back to the table and noticed his partner warily slumped over it, head in her arms.
"Victim's name was Henry McGale," Yael said, moving over and resting a comforting hand on Kayla's back. He rubbed gently as he added, "He was Reddale's lawyer."
"So it IS a revenge spree!" I said.
"We don't know that," Kayla said quickly, glancing up and dislodging Yael's hand from her.
"Oh, come on Kayla," Yael threw back at her, hands on his hips now. "Of course it is. That's how he plays it, he never kills for sport. He always puts thought behind it, you know that. McGale failed to keep him out of a prison sentence, so he went first. I knew it was only a matter of time before more bodies started showing up," he added bitterly.
"Hey," Kayla said softly. "We talked about this. It isn't our fault."
"I know," Yael bit back. "but it sure does feel like it."
"Guy's a freak, we didn't know he'd pull a fast one," I said. "Now, didn't you guys have some questions you wanted to ask me or something?"
"Fred, you testified against Reddale," Kayla nodded. "We've put in requests for anyone who was involved in this trial to come into the Auror Office, but unfortunately, it was a lot of people. Barely half of them have responded and we need to determine who he's going to target next."
"Well, he hasn't come after me, so I think I'm good!" I shrugged.
"Mate," Yael moved to come sit next to Kayla opposite me at the cluttered table. "Take this seriously. Have you ever felt unsafe or uncomfortable around anyone since Reddale escaped?"
"Nope."
"Have you noticed any new people in your life?" Yael added. "Could be anything, like a new guy who always comes in for coffee the same time as you, or someone who works in your building?"
"Not that I can think of."
"Have the people close to you ever mentioned anything about feeling unsafe or uncomfortable?"
My thoughts immediately jumped to Emma. To James and Libby and baby Clara. There were actually a lot of people in my life that I suddenly realised that this could affect and I wanted to continue being so blasé about it, but … I couldn't this time. "No, not from what I can remember," I answered, honestly. "I haven't noticed any weird people hanging around, nothing strange has happened – I'm a bloody wizard, I know how to protect my place from creepers."
"I'm glad, although I'm still considering a protective detail–"
"Aw, c'mon Yael!" I scoffed. "Like you said, there's too many people connected to this case to protect them all. I was only questioned for like ten minutes in that trial! I was barely involved. I doubt he even remembers me."
"We can't make a ruling based on that," Yael said exasperatedly, glancing back behind him at the whiteboard. But he had to admit, I had some fair points and he eventually conceded, "Fine! No detail. But you see or hear anything, you tell us straight away. Deal?"
"Deal," I reached out and shook his hand. "So what do we do now?"
"Solve the murder," Kayla shrugged.
"But you know who did it," I said.
"We're getting too caught up in who this is," Kayla said to her partner. "If it was just a regular homicide and we'd just found out the identity of the killer, what would we do next?"
Yael frowned at her, but he answered, "Hunt them down."
"Exactly!" Kayla smiled. "We do the exact same and we'll get him! We know his last listed address is fake already, but he's had other hideouts all over the city. Sapphire's got contacts out there. Fred, what about you?"
"I've got a few who get around," I said. "Want me to message them?"
"Perfect – Yael, we should go see Healer Miles at the morgue, she probably has her report by now."
We all split ways once we caught up with Liam and Sapphire. After exchanging notes and plans, Yael and Kayla made to leave to head over to the morgue while Sapphire was heading out to meet up with a contact and I needed to use the intercom system to anonymously contact my own guys out there. But before we all split up, Yael grabbed my arm.
"Hey," he said, tired eyes on mine. "Thanks, mate."
"It's fine, whatever," I shrugged.
"Nah, I mean it," Yael insisted. "Both of you," he added, glancing back at Sapphire. "This means a lot."
"Shut up, pansy," Sapphire punched him on the arm. "You and your girl go catch this freak."
Yael just grinned as we all headed out, which was nice to see at any rate. See, it wasn't a bad thing to accept help sometimes. It turned into a long day of meeting up with the random people out in the field that I had developed working relationships with over the years. A couple of them I hadn't contacted in a while, and I maaaay or may not have gotten an automatic leg-locker curse from one of them (totally didn't deserve it, I swear!) so I didn't have high hopes, but if one of them did miraculously pay off in tracking down Reddale, then I'd be happy.
"Hey! DUDE, it was years ago, can't you let it go?" I cried, falling and hitting the front steps of Sam Morena's small attached house. The Auror did nothing to help me, but laughed good-naturedly at my arrival on his doorstep.
"You nearly let my suspect get away!" he reminded me.
"Key word nearly," I pointed out. "Mate, let it go!"
Morena rolled his eyes and lifted the curse around my legs. I dragged myself to my feet with a petulant look, but Morena was one of the good guys. He worked out of the Bedfordshire County Auror Office in a small town of Biggleswade, not far from the town where I had grown up, actually. We'd crossed paths occasionally and I often called on his help if anyone I was chasing ended up in his area, usually if they were fleeing London to the north. I hadn't seen him in a while though, and the last time we'd met there had been a slight skirmish over an assault suspect that I'd been after for an entirely different crime. He held out a hand at least and helped haul me up his front steps.
"So what can I do for you, Agent Weasley?" Morena asked in amusement.
"I'm consulting on a homicide case for the Aurors," I explained. "Sorry to barge in at home."
"Aw, mate, you're fine," Morena waved a hand. "We all know I have no life outside of work, 'side from the missus."
"How is Michelle?"
"She's wonderful, thanks for asking!" a disembodied woman's voice yelled from inside the house, followed immediately by the shrieking of two teenagers in the background.
Morena winced and stepped outside onto his front steps with me, shutting the door behind him. "Sorry," he said. "So what do you need to know?"
"You hear about the Reddale Killer?"
"Jesus, you're here about him?" Morena's eyes went wide. "I dunno how much I can help, Agent Weasley. Doesn't he normally stick to London? I've never heard of him coming this far into the Midlands."
"I know, don't worry," I sighed. "I'm just helping out, contacting everyone I know, putting out feelers, that kind of thing. Asking you to spread the word around. I mean, someone somewhere must've seen something, right?"
"Well, I can't think of anything personally," Morena said soberly. "Don't get much homicide 'round here, to be honest. Only connection I really have is with old Smithy – he knew Reddale before he was Reddale, remember? You guys got him to come in and give a character statement. Was he ever part of the trial?"
"Not from what I can recall, and I testified," I frowned. "Who's Smithy again?"
"Old fellow, retired now I think," Morena said. "Kyle Smith, used to be a builder. We were next door neighbours when he first moved out here from London?"
"I'll talk to him next. Thanks, Morena!" I said. "I'll uh, let you get back to family dinner or whatever the hell's going on in there."
"Yeah," Morena cringed as he tentatively opened his front door, and the shouting of his family could be heard ringing out once more. "I think it's world war three, more like!"
This was the boring part of law enforcement. The walking and talking, but it was potentially the most important. I was kind of disappointed that it wasn't non-stop action, but to be fair, I probably wouldn't even survive if it was! It's what had gotten me into trouble with Reddale in the first place, wasn't it? I got too bored, too cocky and tried to jump the gun? But then again, while talking to Morena hadn't raised any red flags, arriving at Smithy's place certainly did.
For starters, it was empty. Normally a non-issue, I'd just wait – I was very good at waiting! But when I tested Smithy's magical defences around his home, I realised that all of them were down, which wasn't normal. I immediately touched the intercom in my ear and called the Auror Office.
"Auror Ingleson, Auror Ingleson? Yael, mate, it's Fred!" I began once the receptionist had attempted to put me through. "Jesus – do these things even work this far apart–?"
"Fred, it's Yael, I can hear you – uh, barely," Yael's voice answered. It was rough and kept cutting out every second word, but he was there. "What's up?"
"I'm in Bedfordshire, I've been talking to some people I know up here and one of 'em reminded me to check up on Kyle Smith – do you remember him?"
"Shit, yeah – he was the closest thing we could get to Reddale's family, I think they lived near each other – why, what's wrong?"
"The wards around his house are down and he's not answering the door."
"We're coming now."
Sure enough, Yael and Kayla were onsite in less than two minutes. I'm about 99% sure that it wasn't an approved Apparition, but we could deal with that later. I quickly explained the dimensions of the small house that looked the same as literally every other house down this residential street, and I agreed to cover the back door while the partners went in the front. I won't lie, despite the seriousness it was almost exciting! It reminded me of the action side, the part of being an Auror that was fun and adventurous. However, the positive attitude didn't last long. When I heard Yael and Kayla breach the front, I came in from the back, but I could tell that there was no need to be on the offensive almost within ten seconds of being inside. The smell was enough to tell me what I needed to know.
Sure enough, we found ol' Smithy in his lounge.
By the looks of things, he'd been dead for weeks.
It was a long day.
I almost thought Yael and Kayla were going to cry. At one point, I had to force them to step back a moment, take a break to breathe, because they were both clearly on the verge of breaking down. Like, I understood that it had to be draining, and the two of them really only had each other to rely on, so I was firm in shoving them both away for a moment. When I went to go find them about ten minutes later, they were still in the same place I'd left them, on the street corner outside Smithy's house, partially concealed by a large bush. They'd had their arms around each other tightly, foreheads pressed together as they quietly whispered. It looked so intimate that I had to simply turn around and walk away.
I ended up letting them come back in their own time.
I kept reaching out to contacts all afternoon. By the time I was making my way home, I was utterly exhausted and not at all prepared to find Emma waiting for me outside my front door. She was talking to Mrs Ramsey across the hall while also cuddling my neighbour's teacup Chihuahua in her arms.
"Aw, I agree Mrs Ramsey, there's nothing weird about this little thing," she was cooing to the teeny dog/rat/embodiment of the devil, but that was when she noticed me standing there, staring at her in disgust/amazement. "I mean … uh …"
"Oh, don't listen to anything that one says!" Mrs Ramsey accused, pushing her bedazzled glasses up her nose. "He kills any living creatures within days!"
"Fuck you, Mrs Ramsey. Having a nice day?"
"Fred, darlin', if you keep insisting on keeping one of them, then I'm glad it's this girl," Mrs Ramsey nodded at Emma. Otis started yapping then, and Emma hastily set him back on the floor, saying thank you and good afternoon to Mrs Ramsey. She glanced up at me tentatively.
"Hey," she said quietly.
"Sup," I said back.
"Do you mind me coming here?"
"Whaaaat? You're crazy, Princess, get your arse inside!" I plastered on a smile and guided her through my front door. "I've told you before not to converse with the local wildlife, but I should've known you were doomed to always ignore me."
Emma rolled her eyes, but she still came inside with me. I realised that my place wasn't exactly immaculate and organised like it usually was; the kitchen still held evidence of the amount of alcohol I'd drunk last night, what with the kitchen floor littered with empty bottles and the fact that I hadn't had time to clean anything between getting home and getting the call from Liam. I hastily swept my wand and banished them all to a box in the corner before boiling the kettle.
"So where've you been all day?" Emma asked me as she helped make our hot drinks of choice. "I called in earlier, but you weren't here."
"My dear Emma, I do have this thing called a job–"
"Uh-huh," she smirked.
"No, really!" I insisted, taking a large gulp of coffee as Emma took her tea with her back to my kitchen table. I joined her in the chair next to her, adding, "Seriously, I've been working! Reddale's been busy again."
"Shit, did he kill someone?" Emma asked, eyes wide.
"Two someones," I said, although I knew I was probably not supposed to mention that until it was publically announced. Whoops. Oh well, good thing I'm not an actual Auror yet. "and considering that one has been dead a while, there's really no telling how many more are even out there."
"Jesus. Is he gonna come after you?"
"Oh, nah," I shrugged. "He's killed a bazillion people, he hardly even knows I exist. There are way more important people than me who should be higher on his hit list."
"Don't just be sayin' that."
"I'm not! Blimey, Emma, stop looking at me like that! You don't get to look at me like that …" I grumbled into my coffee.
She stared hard at me for a moment then.
"Ok, I thought that we could get through this without talking about it, but apparently not. Fred–"
"Nope!" I cut over her hastily. "Nooooo, nope, you're right, we can totally get through this without talking about it! We're pros at not talking about serious shit, so why start now, amiright? Ha, ha …"
"Fred," she said cut in. "I ain't taking your shit anymore. Talk to me right now."
I stared at her a moment, meeting her gaze in a stand-off that I didn't know how to break. Her wild hair was plaited against her head, stray wisps and strands sticking out around her face. Her blue eyes were cutthroat and determined. This wasn't the girl who'd been hurt by a douchebag in the past. This was a girl who'd dealt with too many. The least I could do was harden the fuck up and talk to her.
"I need to not see you for a bit," It took a massive about of nerve to say, but I did. I don't know what was so difficult about admitting it. The only conclusion I could think of was that it showed how emotional I was getting, how much I obviously cared.
"There," Emma said. "Was that so difficult to say?"
"Yes, it was," I said bluntly. "So congratulations, you're the first person I've ever been this real with."
That seemed to strike her dumb for a moment. Her mouth opened, but she covered it up with a mouthful of tea. "Fred, the fact that you need space is fine," she said to her mug. "Honestly, it is. We all need space sometimes. But you can't just ignore me like you did. That is not how you treat a person, let alone a friend! You want space, you fucking tell me to my face, don't just ignore me and then come yelling at me. I get dealing with stuff, I've had to deal with stuff of my own in the past! But you don't get to treat me like that. Do you understand me?"
"Yes," I muttered.
"Good," Emma stood up straight then, taking a strong gulp of tea before slamming it back down onto my table. "In that case, I've said what I needed to say. For the record, I'm still not sure I've forgiven you yet, but I will. Hopefully. If I get to see you around maybe, so just let me know when you've stopped being an idiot, because I honestly would like to be your friend again–"
I lurched to my feet and suddenly hugged her fiercely.
I threw my arms around her waist, tugging her tiny body off the floor and into my chest. This was ridiculous. I didn't want her to leave, I wanted to hang out like normal and be stupid together, even though I knew that it wouldn't help. If I wanted to get past this, it was gonna take some serious action! But I still wasn't quite ready for her to leave yet. She was startled, but wound her arms around my neck, apparently ok with hugging me back for a moment. I knew that my grip was probably uncomfortably tight. I knew that if she saw my face right now, she would know everything that I was thinking.
I knew. I didn't care.
I just held her.
"I'm sorry," I muttered.
"I know, Fred," she sighed.
"Seriously, Emma … I am so, so sorry."
She just nodded into my shoulder before I reluctantly let go and put her back down on the floor. I gave her a half-hearted grin before making some stupid teasing comment about her using all the teabags. She left with me promising to owl her sometime … after all, we had our shared birthdays coming up in four months, we had to plan that shit at some point right? The second I closed my door behind her, I glanced up at Ravi.
"Mate, I will TELL you when we're allowed to start owling her again," I warned. "In the meantime …"
"OH, FIRE, MAY YOUR ORANGE FLAMES BURN!" I cried dramatically. "RISE UP, UP–"
"Oh, Fred, what the HELL are we doing out here?" Libby yelled at me.
James and Libby were standing sceptically in the circle I had insisted upon, around the charcoal-stained brazier that was currently burning into the Spring air. Their Tiny Human was hastily being watched by their neighbour as I had turned up and dragged them out here. Sure, it was a blustery March evening out in James' building courtyard down the corridor from their flat, but this situation definitely called for dramatics. You can't half-arse this shit!
"I call upon your guidance in purging the bad memories of one Emma Terry from my brain!" I announced, raising my arms to the sky.
"Yeeeeeah …" James said. "Isn't burning her stuff a tad overboard?"
"Well, technically we're not burning her stuff, 'cause according to Uncle Harry that's property damage, and I can't have an arrest on my record if I want to be an Auror," I admitted. "Buuuut, turns out that in my emotional breakdown I drank a lot of alcohol and I've got a lot of empty bottles to get rid of. So, in leiu of the sacrificial burning of Emma's things, we're instead going to smash these!"
"… glass bottles?" Libby raised an eyebrow.
"Work with me here!" I cried.
"This isn't exactly how I pictured my first array into vandalism."
"First?" Libby shot James an amused look.
"Come on," I handed each of them a bottle from the cardboard box that I'd collected all the glass in before I'd come here. "Isn't there something you want to smash from your life? Something that's holding you back, something that you just want to let go of?"
James and Libby looked at each other.
"I know I'd very much like to forget the fact that I've barely slept in five months," Libby said.
"Perfect!" I said. "Go on then. Smash it, throw it, hex it, do whatever you want!"
Libby rolled her eyes at me, and I heard her mutter, "I really must be out of my mind …" When she turned around, however, I saw the flames from the brazier burning in her gaze. Poor girl must have barely slept not just from Clara waking her up, but from agonising over the pressures of being a mother. It was a tough job, probably one of the toughest, if anything I'd observed so far seemed to be an indicator. I couldn't be sure what Libby was going to do, but she took a deep breath … then hurled the bottle into the courtyard wall. It smashed into several pieces, glass chunks spinning across the ground.
I cheered with her as Libby whooped, throwing up her arms and turning to face us.
"Oh, yeah!" she grinned. "That makes me feel better!"
"This is insane," James shook his head. "Let me have a go!"
He took the bottle that Libby had handed to him and thought for a moment. I knew that James had several things he still felt insecure about as well. The lack of time spent with his daughter compared to her mother, the feeling that Clara liked Libby more than him, the guilt … James gritted his teeth before throwing his bottle hard. He laughed as the tinkling of broken glass died away and Libby flung her arms casually around his waist as he cried,
"You're right, this is great! Fred, you go!" He wrapped an arm around Libby's shoulders, squeezing her tightly.
I stepped up to the plate this time, picking up a bottle in my hands. A bottle that I'd drank trying to forget about Emma. Thing is, I didn't want to forget about her anymore. After everything that had happened today … if there was one thing I'd been reminded of, it was that life was short. Ol' Smithy had literally done nothing except know the wrong person, and he'd paid dearly for it. I had no idea when my life would end and after everything that had happened since I'd woken up on her sofa this morning, I just knew that I wasn't getting over Emma. It was never gonna happen, and I was SO DONE with trying and nothing ever working. I was tired and quite honestly, I didn't want to keep doing it.
What I wanted was Emma.
I mean, I was at the point where I was never going to NOT want her anymore, right? I was attracted to her when we first met, I liked her when we were sleeping together, I adored her when we were friends and now, I loved her. It was ALWAYS gonna be Emma. I was sick of pretending that it wasn't so yeah, I wanted her badly. I wanted her so much that it scared me, so THAT, my friends, is going to be my new mission! I'm not gonna be scared. I'm not going to try and get over her anymore.
I'm going to be ok with loving her.
Everything could be so easy if I just wasn't so damn afraid! Literally everything came back to that, right? Me, terrified of her loving me, of myself for loving her, because how do I do this? How do I let someone love me like that? She would know me, she would know all of me in ways that no one else ever had before, and it was truly scary. But if it was going to happen, I first needed to get over myself. I didn't know exactly what I wanted out of this, whether I wanted something that looked traditionally like a relationship or something else entirely, but all I knew was that Emma was my best friend, and Emma was also the best sex I'd ever had. I wanted both those parts. I wanted all of her! I wanted her wrapped around me and in me and moving over me as I tangled my fingers in her wild hair. I wanted to laugh at her Yoda onesie and tease her about liking tea every second of every day. The thought of all this sent pure fear into my brain, and hell, after everything I'd put her through, she might not ever want it herself or in return again. But I don't care. No matter what, I swear, I'm going to be ok with it.
And it started now.
"Welp, it's been real, Old Me," I said. "You've served me well in the past, buuuut it's time to go. See you in hell!"
James and Libby cheered as I hurled the bottle into the wall.
Smash.
I turned back and laughed with them.
A/N: gUYS. GUYS. GUYS. Like, what the fuck happened, I thought I'd clicked on the wrong story or that this hellsite malfunctioned again! I can't believe how many of you had something to say last chapter, so THANK YOU. Your reviews and comments were amazing, and always are amazing. Please, I'm begging you, keep reviewing like that! You have my love, my life ... hell, you've got my fucking soul as well. THANK YOU.
Anyway, Fred. I love him. Y'all already know that, but it stands repeating. This boy has come so far in 20 chapters, and he deserves all the props, even if he is still a bit of an idiot! Also, don't worry about Emma having found someone else. If there is one fiction trope that I cannot stand, it is love triangles (get them the fuck away from meee!) so never fear. Emma deserves to try and find love, but let's face it, Fremma is fucking endgame now. :D
Who knows what will happen next? Seriously, please let me know if you liked it!
I LOVE YOU ALL.
- Moon. xoxo