Forgive me! I just finished a hellacious semester and had not time for writing! I am on a long break and I will try to appease you all! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter Twenty-One (Eomer)

"So you cannot join us in Dol Amroth?" Lothiriel asked from where she was packing her slips and dresses with Adela. Amrothos and Dernhild were returning to Dol Amroth for their wedding. Imrahil had had several more discussions with me on the matter and it had been settled that the couple should be allowed to wed, though it would have to take place in the Prince's homeland.

I shook my head. "It is not possible right now. There is much to be done and overseen with the upcoming planting season."

I studied her as she moved from the bureau and back to her bags, handing things to Adela to be folded. I could not tell if she was disappointed at the news, I figured she was not.

My stomach rolled and I visibly cringed every time I thought of what had happened merely a month ago in our bedroom. Since then I had come to bed much after Lothiriel had fallen asleep and I clung to my side of the bed, not daring to touch her, not wanting to. I felt terribly for what I had done to her. I only prayed that we had not created life from such an occasion.

I returned to my study to let Lothiriel finish packing in peace. At that point, I truly did not know what would be best for us, to be apart or together. We had tried to go on as we had before and keep up appearances for those around us, but it had been heartbreaking and had ended on a note I did not care to dwell on.

Long after the sun had set, there was a knock at my door.

"Come in," I called, signing my name to a final document in time to see Amrothos enter.

"I hear you are not joining us tomorrow," he said, taking the seat across the desk from me.

"No. Unfortunately, I cannot with all that is going on here. I hope you understand and are not offended."

Amrothos shook his head. "No, of course I am not."

I sat across from him, a bit uneasily, not sure what he had come seeking. He did not speak either and so the silence continued.

"I am not sure why I am here," Amrothos said, practically voicing what had been going through my head. "I am nervous about my impending marriage, I suppose."

I was confused as to why my brother-in-law would come to me seeking marital advice. He had seen how well I had done with my own marriage, to his sister no less.

"Do you think Dernhild and I will be luckier because we love each other?"

Amrothos' question felt like a punch to the stomach. I ran a hand through my unbound hair.

"You can hurt someone you love. It is easier than you might think." I sighed. "And I can assure you that luck plays a very small part in marriage, my friend."

Lothiriel's youngest brother studied me. He had spent the most time in my court both when Lothiriel and I had been happy and after that happiness had slipped away.

"Then why would anyone do this to themselves?" Amrothos asked.

I was amused that he had forgotten so quickly that many people were not fortunate enough to choose a spouse.

"You and Dernhild will go through with this because you will wake up every morning and choose each other." I met his steely gray gaze. "You have to choose her every day. If you do not choose her you leave room for others in your marriage."

My voice had gotten quieter and Amrothos and I sat in silence for a moment.

"I should get back to packing. Or at least overseeing the packing of my things." He gave a small smile

Amrothos pulled the door to my study open.

"Amrothos," I said loudly. He looked back at me. "I love your sister."

He did not say a word, nor did he acknowledge that I had spoken at all before he closed the door behind him.

I stared down at my desk, the dark wood covered in sheaves of parchment and quills as well as the plate from my lunch earlier in the day.

I had to stand abruptly as images flashed in my mind of what I had done with Aesa on that very desk. My stomach heaved and I had to leave the study entirely.

I walked through the corridors trying to clear my head, but every time I blinked I saw something I did not want to; Aesa's blond hair wrapped around my fingers, the smooth pale skin on the backs of her thighs bent over my desk, her strong calves wrapped around my waist.

"Your Grace?"

I turned, chest heaving, to see Hama trailing behind me.

"Are you alright? What are you doing in this part of the palace? You look terrible."

I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts away.

"I have been better," I replied. I still felt as though I might be sick.

"Well I am afraid then that what I have to tell you will not make you feel better."

I merely looked at my advisor. I had quit expecting good news long ago.

"There is unrest in the court," he began. "Word has gotten out about your affair."

"It did months ago."

"Yes well there are whisperings that you cowed to Prince Imrahil and his sons; that you set aside a shieldmaiden because of all you owe to Dol Amroth. The court is saying that Imrahil ordered you to send the woman away and that you are some sort of puppet ruler."

I sighed, not having the words to respond. It turned out it was not necessary as Hama continued.

"The court is crying for an annulment of your marriage to Queen Lothiriel." Hama paused. "There are no children, Eomer. It would be possible."

"Do not speak to me of such things," I growled.

Hama looked at me, taken aback. "I thought you would be glad to hear that there is a possible solution."

"You call that a solution?"

"Do you think it would not be possible because of all that Imrahil has given us?"

"I think it is impossible because I do not want to part from Lothiriel," I exclaimed.

"What?" Hama's mouth was agape. "What do you mean? Certainly you are jesting. You have put yourself through enough with her. You are miserable."

"That is my own doing and I will hear no more of any annulment business." I turned on my heel and left my advisor behind me.

ooooOoooo

"Do you all have everything you need?" I asked the four travelers who were preparing to make their way to Dol Amroth.

"You have checked our packs yourself," Dernhild said with a small smile.

"It is a long journey," I returned.

I glanced at Lothiriel in her riding clothes. I could have been mistaken, but I was almost positive that they were the same clothes that she had worn on the first ride we had gone on together when she was first in Rohan.

As I watched her mount Roheryn, I realized that I hardly remembered my home without her.

I approached her, coming towards her so the horse would not be spooked by me. I reached for the hand that held the reins and noticed that she was wearing the ring I had given her on our wedding day.

"Be safe," I said quietly, squeezing her small hand.

"Of course," she responded with a thin smile.

Amrothos led the group out of the stables. I watched them until they were out of sight and the sun had risen. As I stood there a sinking feeling overtook me as I realized that there was a possibility, a large possibility that Lothiriel might not return to Rohan, to me. If I had people telling me that an annulment was possible then I imagined that her eldest brothers would meet her at the marble steps with papers already drafted, ready for my wife to sign.

ooooOoooo

There was joyful chatter that evening when I went to dinner in the great hall by myself.

"Have I missed something?" I asked, taking a seat next to Hama.

"Not that I am aware of," he replied.

"Why is everyone so happy? What are they going on about?"

Hama shifted in his seat, stalling for time.

"Just tell me."

"They think that because Queen Lothiriel and Prince Amrothos left this morning that the influence of Dol Amroth is over."

The food no longer smelled appetizing and I stood from my chair, leaving the hall in a rage.

I was not thinking as my feet took me to my bedroom. There was now here left in Meduseld that did not haunt me.

In that room I saw Artanis the night we lost her, unmoving in the cradle at the foot of the huge bed. I felt Lothiriel's frozen limbs in my hands after the afternoon she had spent in front of our daughter's tomb. I heard Lothiriel cry out as I entered her with too much force.

The air was too still in the bedroom. I splashed cool water on my face and looked at myself in the burnished bronze mirror and hardly recognized what I saw. My skin was sallow and there were bags under my eyes. I could not remember when I had last washed my hair.

The mattress was soft as I fell into it, pulling the blankets around me. I spent the night awake, staring the ceiling above me.

ooooOoooo

A few weeks passed, but the murmuring of rumors did not. Hama came to me at least once a day with more speculation about my wife, her family, and our marriage that I did not care to hear.

As my advisor came through my study door, I raised my hand before he could even begin to speak.

"I have been thinking."

"Eomer?"

"I am going to Dol Amroth."

His eyes widened. "Dol Amroth?"

"Yes. To see Lothiriel. To try and put some of this negativity behind us and to quiet these rumors of annulment." I stood. "There will be no annulment unless Lothiriel cannot stand the sight of me any longer, which I could understand."

As I opened the door to head to gather my things, I turned back to Hama. "I trust that you will see to everything while I am away."

He did not respond.

"You are my senior advisor after all," I reminded him as I closed the door behind me.

I had put a servant in charge of packing my things, including my finer tunic and leggings for Amrothos and Dernhild's wedding which I was hoping to arrive in time for.

They were nearly done sending my few bags to the stables and so I headed that way to prepare Firefoot for the arduous journey we would be making. I planned to ride hard and fast with few breaks.

ooooOoooo

I thanked Bema when I rode into the city close to the sea a few days later after a problem free journey.

"Can I direct you anywhere, sir?" A young stable hand asked as I handed him Firefoot's reins and a few coins for his stall and care.

"I know where I am going. Thank you." I smiled as I left trying to remember the last time I had been addressed so informally.

My smile soon faded as I approached the marble palace. I had not quite planned what I was going to say to Lothiriel when I saw her. It was optimistic to think that I would get to speak to her alone. I kept having a terrible image of Elphir running me through with his sword as he had promised so long ago.

I could not tell if the servants recognized me or not. They were studying me curiously enough.

"I am looking for Queen Lothiriel," I told a woman as she came hurrying through the entrance hall.

"Who is asking?" She asked coming to a halt before me.

"Her husband."

"Oh." Realization washed over her wrinkled face. She dipped a low curtsy. "I am not sure Your Grace, but I believe she is on the beach."

I nodded and worked my way through the unfamiliar palace. I had to ask a couple of other servants how to get to the beach. Lothiriel knew almost everything about my home, but I could not find one of the main entrances of hers.

The sun was blinding as I stepped onto the veranda overlooking the beach. The sun seemed to be at eye level as it set over the darkening ocean.

I shaded my eyes, searching the beach for any sign of movement. Between the blinding rays of sun I did not see the group climbing the stairs until they were almost on top of me.

Elphir, with Alphros on his shoulders, saw me almost exactly when I saw him.

"This is unexpected," he said shortly. Klymena was holding onto one arm and Lothiriel came up behind them. Her face remained passive as she took in my presence.

"Indeed," I replied uncertainly, not sure how to continue.

"You are probably exhausted," Lothiriel said stepping out from behind her brother. "Let me show to you our rooms."

I was taken aback at her offer. I had expected to be kept away from my wife, but apparently that was not to be the case.

Elphir and Klymena did not say a word as I followed Lothiriel back into the palace. Again, I was not sure what to say to her and I let the echo of our footsteps fill the silence.

"I do not have to stay in your rooms if it will make you uncomfortable, Lothiriel," I finally said.

She did not respond. I watched the movement of her long raven hair, taking secret pleasure in the fact that it was not up as most women in Dol Amroth wore their hair.

Before I could take in the room that Lothiriel led me into she had turned around to face me.

"What are you doing here, Eomer?"

"I had to see you," I replied. "I was not sure if you would return to Rohan."

Lothiriel did not respond and instead moved to the window.

"I wanted to be with you away from Meduseld."

"And here we are," she said.

"If my presence is displeasing to you I can leave. I do not want to ruin this special occasion for you or your family."

Lothiriel sighed. "No. You are here now."

My body relaxed when I heard that I might stay for the wedding.

ooooOoooo

I spent the few days before the wedding tiptoeing around Lothiriel, not sure how to act. I had set myself up to sleep on the couch in the sitting room before night fell on the first day I arrived.

Lothiriel invited me a couple of times to join her and Klymena and Alphros on the beach and I did, but I would excuse myself after a short while so as not to overstep my boundaries.

Lothiriel's brothers acted as though I was invisible.

The morning of the wedding I was trying to get my hair pulled back away from my face, but I could not get it to lay flat.

Lothiriel laughed as she entered the bathroom.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"If you would," I replied with a sheepish smile as I slouched down so she could reach.

When the leather cord was tied securely I stood and straightened my red tunic, similar to the one I had worn on my own wedding day.

"You look beautiful," I said when I took Lothiriel in. Again, I was surprised at her attire. Her dress nearly matched the shade of my tunic and it had obviously been made in Rohan.

"Thank you," she responded with a small smile.

"The dress is wonderful."

"I thought I should look the part of the Queen of Rohan." Lothiriel put her long plait behind her shoulders.

I tried to keep my face passive as I began to understand what was going on. She was playing a part. None of the small gestures she had made had been for my benefit and why should they have been? My wife was playing a part and it was for appearance's sake. I did not think that boded well for my marriage.

ooooOoooo

Dernhild had no family left and so Bregdan sat between Lothiriel and I, watching silently as his mother was married to Amrothos, Prince of Dol Amroth. In Rohan, Bregdan might have played some part in the ceremony, but things were much more official in his new home.

I glanced at Lothiriel, hoping to see a small smile on her face, perhaps thinking of our own wedding, but I saw no such thing.

After the ceremony was over, Lothiriel, Bregdan, and I took our seats at the high table with the rest of the royal family.

As dinner went on I continued to watch Lothiriel and my heart broke afresh. My wife was so attentive to Bregdan, who was nearing four. I thought about what she might have looked like had Artanis been allowed to grow up.

I had to look away.

Later in the evening, I asked the bride to dance. Dernhild agreed and we stepped onto the floor, the only true Rohirrim present.

"I do not know how I will ever get used to such tranquil music," she said with a smile.

I gave a light laugh. "It is quite different."

"Everything is."

I nodded. "You will grow to love it I am sure. And you will always be welcome at your home."

"I fear that I have made the wrong decision for Bregdan," she said quietly. "After all he is a son of Rohan through and through."

I could see the worry etched in her face.

"Dernhild, I will do all in my power to help your son remember his heritage. He can spend as much time as you see fit in Rohan. I would see to his care personally."

She nodded. "You are most gracious."

"And Amrothos is a noble man. If Bregdan cannot have his father then I cannot think of a better stand-in than Amrothos."

"Might I interrupt?"

I looked down to see Lothiriel.

"I have not yet danced with my husband."

Dernhild gave my arm a squeeze as she went to find her own husband.

"You two seemed to be deep in conversation," Lothiriel said as she slipped her delicate hand into mine.

"She is nervous about the transition for herself and Bregdan, which as you know, can be difficult."

"Indeed it can be, but she is a shieldmaiden and I think she will take this court by storm."

"I hope so." I spun her around and pulled her back into me. There was so much I wanted to say, but I could not even begin, not on the dancefloor. We danced the rest of the song in silence.

"Thank you for the dance, husband," Lothiriel said before going back to her family, leaving me standing alone on the dancefloor. An island in the sea of her people.

ooooOoooo

Three days passed and I had spent too much time in Dol Amroth, but I had not summoned the courage to leave as I knew it was a possibility that Lothiriel would not come with me. I just did not want to hear her say those very words.

Finally, on the fourth day after the wedding I sought my wife out. The release from her queenly duties had given her ample time to wander on her beloved beach next to the roaring sea.

I asked the kitchen staff to prepare a picnic lunch for two and then I headed to the beach to find Lothiriel and have the conversation that would determine both of our futures.

The sand was difficult to walk on and so I shed my heavy boots. The walks I had taken with Lothiriel and Klymena had been much shorter and so I had never really learned how to handle the sand. Everyone who I had seen walking along the shore had been barefoot. Surely they knew what they were doing.

I thought back to before we had been married. I had not had the chance between all of the diplomatic meetings to walk on the beach with Lothiriel then. I had also had the distinct feeling then that Lothiriel did not want to be bothered by her soon-to-be brute husband. I imagined that not much had changed since then, but I had no choice. I could not leave pretending everything was alright as she had been doing.

Eventually, our paths crossed. Lothiriel gave a small chuckle when she saw me. "You look a bit out of your element," she said, unbound hair flowing behind her in the ever-present beach breeze.

"Well I feel immensely so."

"I was just heading inside for lunch. Join me and you can put your boots back on solid ground."

"Actually, I brought a lunch out here for us to share." I held my basket up. "If that is not displeasing to you."

Lothiriel did not answer immediately, looking between the basket and the palace she had been planning to return to. She nodded.

"I know a spot. It is not too far from here. You should be able to make it." She gave a playful grin and I wanted so badly to believe it was genuine, but I knew better.

I followed her into a secluded rocky grotto just out of sight of the palace and laid a blanket on a small patch of sand before kneeling and unpacking the food.

"The kitchen women must be quite taken with you. They've packed a veritable feast."

I sat and began putting pieces of smoked fish, cheese, and bread onto my cloth napkin. "Indeed."

I watched Lothiriel do the same and we sat in silence. It seemed as though my wife had no intention of saying anything and again I was in awe that she could her tongue around me.

"I must return to Edoras soon," I began.

"I figured as much."

She was not going to cut me any slack.

"I suppose I was wondering if you would be returning with me."

"Well I am your wife and the queen there."

"Lothiriel, please drop the pretense. You have been putting on a show since I arrived and even before that I would imagine."

Her eyes met mine and I held her gaze. "It is only the two of us now and at the very least we should be frank with one another."

"What do you want from me?" She asked, looking down at her hands.

"I want you to be honest with me. I want you to be honest with me about what you think would be best for you."

"And what about you? You are my husband. My king."

I gave a small, sad smile. "I am, though I do not deserve either title."

Lothiriel tore at a piece of bread.

My heart felt like a stone in my chest. I looked at the woman before me wanting to bite my tongue off rather than approach the subject that had to be spoken of.

"I am sure that your brothers have approached you with the possibility of an annulment."

Lothiriel looked at me, eyes wide.

"It is a possibility that I imagine you have considered. It would be easy enough." My voice caught in my throat. "Seeing as we have no children, we could pretend this whole thing never happened."

I remained quiet for a moment to see if she would say anything. When she did not I asked the question that felt like fire in my throat; that burnt my tongue. "Is that what you would like?"

I hope you loved this. I know you're all probably mad at me for not updating more often, but if you could find it in your hearts to review, I would love to hear what you think! No hate comments or flames, por favor. Happy holidays!

Happy reading,

Avonmora