Shepard had just managed time to sit down to grab a half-decent meal on their way to Tuchanka when she heard Joker's harried words echo across the Normandy's intercom system, calling for a full stop because of hostiles at the landing coordinates. She threw down her fork and sprinted for the elevator, running into it and pushing the CIC button repeatedly until the elevator doors closed and opened again, and she dashed through the CIC to the cockpit right as Joker was finishing a repeat of his message.
"Joker!" Slowing her run, she approached the pilot. "What have you got?"
"Sensors show a Reaper parked at the Shroud facility." Shepard felt her heart sink. She had hoped that maybe, just this once, the Reapers wouldn't interfere with their goal. It had been a stupid wish. Joker continued, turning to look over his shoulder at her. "No way are you going to be able to land a shuttle there."
"Get everyone assembled in the war room. I want eyes on the Shroud." Turning quickly, she was marching back down the corridor towards the war room before she had finished speaking. She heard Joker's call of assent behind her, and she picked up her pace.
Now was not the time to give into the despair she was starting to feel every time the Reapers were mentioned. She had a population to save, along with the lives of millions, perhaps billions, of future krogan.
Her feet pounded the floors until she reached the war room, where Mordin, Victus, and Wrex were already waiting.
There was a Reaper blocking the Shroud.
A full-sized, larger-than-life, actual damned Reaper.
Shepard stared at the image Joker had projected on the hologram, still wishing she could deny what she was seeing.
The battle plan was ready, the turian fleet would provide air support while the krogan provided ground troops. Meanwhile, Shepard was in charge of getting Mordin and Eve to the Shroud so the genophage cure could be completed and dispersed.
And there was, of course, the tiny matter of the Shroud being sabotaged by the STG, and the Dalatrass trying to get Shepard to commit yet another round of krogan genocide by not warning Mordin. Shepard had managed to keep her composure when speaking with the Dalatrass, but as soon as they left for Tuchanka, she was going to tell both Mordin and Wrex about that conversation.
Shepard closed her eyes for a moment, as black dots began appearing at the edges of her vision.
Christ, she needed sleep. And breakfast.
She hadn't slept much the night before. Garrus had tried his best to distract her, and she loved him for it, but the ever-present nightmares had woken her up after only maybe an hour or two of fitful sleep. And she hadn't been able to go back to sleep the rest of the night. Instead, she had alternated between staring at the ceiling, checking her omni-tool for reports of more Reaper attacks, and enjoying the sight of Garrus' peaceful sleeping face.
Thankful the war room was empty, Shepard sank down to sit on the floor.
She just needed a moment to get her bearings, to fight against the familiar wave of dizziness that came with the anxiety she felt clawing at her chest.
Letting her head sink between her knees pulled against her chest, Shepard tried to breathe deeply like she knew was best, instead of the short panicked gasps that came so naturally when she felt that way. When she opened her eyes a few moments later, the black dots at the edge of her vision were gone, and she lifted her head slowly.
"Shepard, you in here?"
It was Garrus. Shepard pulled herself to her feet before he made it into the room, and hoped she looked casual enough to satisfy him. He made his way to her side, his frown deepening when he got close enough to see her face clearly. "Are you okay? You look pale."
"Just staring at this big-ass Reaper and trying to figure out how we're supposed to kill it." She replied, hoping for an even tone. "Is the shuttle ready?"
Garrus didn't look convinced, he was looking closely at her eyes, which Shepard knew were probably dark from her dilated pupils. But he didn't push the issue, instead responding with, "Yeah, Cortez sent me to round you up. We're ready to head for Tuchanka."
Shepard pushed away from the console, shoving her hands into her pockets to hide how cold they were and how they were shaking. She walked towards the door, bumping her shoulder against Garrus' as she walked past. "Well come on, then. You're not getting out of this fight. I need my Archangel there to help take out that Reaper."
Garrus pushed back against her shoulder with a chuckle. "I don't think my sniper rifle will be of much use, but I'll try."
"We no longer possess the firepower to defeat a Reaper." EDI's words weren't exactly necessary, Garrus was standing at her side staring at the looming mass of machine.
"I know we've beaten the odds before," He replied quietly, not wanting Shepard to overhear him. "but getting to that tower? I don't know."
His doubts were growing exponentially. Wrex was at his side, talking about how curing the genophage was the only thing that mattered, and all Garrus could see in his mind was the sight of Shepard, as he had found her in the war room, her skin paler than he had ever seen it and her eyes wide with a slightly panicked look. She had tried to play it off, but since reaching Tuchanka, Garrus felt like she had to stop to catch her breath more than usual, and her sense of balance wasn't quite all there.
He knew she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. He didn't have to ask her to know for sure, he could see it in the tired lines around her eyes. He had even stayed up to make sure she fell asleep and stayed asleep for a while before he drifted off to sleep himself, but apparently it hadn't done any good.
Hearing boots hit the ground behind him, he turned his head to see Shepard walking towards the group. They discussed how to take the Reaper out –a thresher maw? that was their best shot?- and soon Garrus was running after Shepard, following her as she vaulted over a wall.
They were headed directly for the Reaper.
On foot.
With guns.
He really needed to have a talk with Shepard about what she believed her shotgun was capable of.
It was only a few minutes and several dead enemies later that Garrus' heart was already in his throat. Shepard had leapt across a bridge only to jump back quickly, as the Reaper fired a laser right where she was standing a moment before. She hit the ground rolling, and Garrus heard her make a noise of pain over their comms as he jumped down to follow her.
"Everyone alright?" She asked, sounding winded.
"Fine here, mostly." He responded, making his way back to her side with EDI. "Did we just get shot by a Reaper?" Seeing another red light, he turned and saw that the Reaper was priming another laser. Their trio ducked out of the way, and he heard Shepard swear loudly.
"Consider that practice." She yelled, leaping from cover and running across the open area to another outcropping that could be used as cover.
"Hard to believe we're really doing this!" Garrus yelled, ducking behind a large pile of rubble, not trying to hide his exasperation at the plan.
"Don't stop!" He heard her yell back as she ran, before a roar over their heads drew his attention up.
It was the turian fleet, ready with air strikes.
Garrus took a deep breath and ran towards the Reaper, with Shepard at his side.
"Go! Get back to the truck! I'll take care of the cure!"
She hadn't expected Garrus to listen, but he had. She suspected that his soldier instincts had kicked in when he heard the authority in her voice. He had been trained growing up to never refuse a direct order from his commanding officer.
Over the next few minutes, she watched in amazement as Eve's plan actually worked –the Reaper was taken down by a thresher maw. Feeling slightly weak in the knees once she realized that the Reaper was down for good, Shepard turned and spotted Mordin running for the Shroud. She made her feet move to follow him, determined to see this plan through to the end.
Running through a side door, Shepard saw Mordin approach a keyboard and begin frantically pressing buttons. She spotted fires burning around the consoles and when she glanced up, and her fears were confirmed.
The Shroud was falling apart around them, raining debris –quite literally- down on their heads.
She had to get Mordin safely out before he got hurt.
"Mordin! Is the cure ready?" She ran to him, and saw him flinch as a piece of debris almost hit him.
"Yes." He answered immediately, still working at the keyboard. "Loaded for dispersal in two minutes. Procedure traumatic for Eve, but not lethal. Maelon's research invaluable."
Shepard felt relief wash over her at his words. They hadn't lost Eve. "She's okay?"
"Headed to safety now." Mordin responded quickly. "Her survival fortunate. Will stabilize new government should Wrex get any ideas. Good match, promising future for krogan."
A large piece of the Shroud fell, crashing into the console opposite Shepard and Mordin, causing her to start and throw her arm up to shield her face. "Damn!"
Mordin looked up, meeting her eyes for a moment. "Control room at top of Shroud tower. Must take elevator up."
Shepard felt that newfound relief leave, replaced by a cold sense of dread. "You're going up there?" She motioned to the tower, looking at the fires and crashing pieces still falling.
Mordin nodded. "Yes, manual access required. Have to counteract STG sabotage." He looked down, tapping his omni-tool. "Ensure cure dispersed properly."
"Mordin, this whole thing is coming apart. There's got to be another way!" She could hear the desperation in her voice. She had to find another way to cure the genophage, there had to be a way.
"Remote bypass impossible. STG countermeasures in place. No time to adjust cure for temperature variance." His words made Shepard feel like she couldn't breathe again as Mordin paused, drawing a breath. He turned to look at her as he continued talking. "No. No other option. Not coming back. Suggest you get clear. Explosions likely to be problematic."
He turned and began quickly walking to the elevator, but Shepard ran after him. She was fighting with everything within her to stay calm, but she was losing that battle with herself. Her voice was strained and loud in her own ears. "Mordin, no!"
"Shepard, please." Mordin's voice, in comparison, was quiet and somber. He turned around to face her once he stepped on the elevator. She saw the determination in his eyes, and his acceptance of what was happening. She stopped her movement, right outside of the elevator doors. "Need to do this. My project. My work. My cure. My responsibility."
Closing his eyes for a moment, Mordin took a deep breath. Shepard understood his words, she knew why he was doing it. She knew what it felt like to need to atone for mistakes, and she knew it would be too selfish of her to try and stop him for her sake, no matter how desperately she wanted to.
"Would have liked to run tests on the seashells." He added with a sad smile towards Shepard.
"I'm sorry." Shepard managed to answer, the effort to hold back tears was making it hard to speak.
Mordin shook his head, still smiling. "I'm not. Had to be me." He walked towards the elevator panel and turned around, the door closing between them. "Someone else might have gotten it wrong."
Shepard watched the elevator go up until she could no longer see Mordin.
And then she turned and walked out of the Shroud, finally reaching her hand up to brush the wetness from her eyes.
Garrus paced outside of the truck, watching as the Shroud was raining pieces down onto the ground.
He hadn't fought against Shepard when she ordered him back to the trucks, he knew she would keep Mordin and herself safe. But now the Shroud was coming down, and they were both still inside. He was giving her five more minutes before he stormed the Shroud himself to get them out.
It was several minutes later when Shepard appeared, making her way to where the trucks were parked. His heart sank as she approached.
She was alone.
She had on a brave face, but Garrus saw distinct pale lines leaving her eyes, where tears had cut through the dirt and grime coating her skin. Looking past her, he saw the top level of the Shroud explode, and Shepard turned her head slowly to watch it as well.
He saw her shoulders shaking as she clenched her fists, and he reached to take one of her hands in his own. She let him grip her fist her a few moments before she pulled away, turning to walk past him and climb into the truck.
As they drove through Tuchanka, the Shroud collapsed completely with another loud explosion. Shepard put her head in her hands and the silence continued throughout the rest of the ride.