A/N: WiFi! Did a quick proofread so I could upload this chapter before bed. I have an early wakeup call tomorrow but will try to upload again before the end of the week if time permits. Thank you again SO MUCH for the reviews, favs and follows. I just never expected this kind of response, so it is quite humbling. Best wishes to all and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
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Chapter 21: Ghosts
It had been two weeks since Bo and Lauren had seen each other. Kenzi had been going back and forth between the two houses spending time with both and bringing Ethan over to see Bo using John's truck or by hitching a ride on The Roma with all of Bo's "fine Druid cousins" as she called them. Both Fae had kept up their training with their mentors on the grounds of their own homes and Kenzi had begun her Druid training with Emma. The tension was thick… really thick, so John had spoken up today during his training session with Bo.
They talked for quite some time about all that had happened between the two over the years and got into an in-depth conversation about forgiveness. After their third training session of the day, they had fed from Gaia and Bo had received a lecture from the Good Mother about needing to talk to Lauren. Apparently, the baby Succubus had struggled in Bo's absence almost using her influence on Chase a few nights ago. Luckily, Kenzi had been there and managed to get Lauren to listen to her when she used Bo as a trigger. From there, the Phoenix took over and chaos ensued. Kenzi had a similar response as Bo when she first saw Lauren burst into flames when she shifted. Everyone came running when they heard Kenzi screaming, then broken into fits of laughter at Kenzi's expense when they saw what had alarmed the young Druidess.
Lauren eventually came back and Kenzi finally talked her into going out to a bar with her and the guys so she could try chi sipping from the sexual energy in the bar. She ended up hoovering Chase, James and Jake before Kenzi and Josh were able to pull her off of them, but she eventually got the hang of it once her hunger was sated a bit and she could focus more. Kenzi knew they had to get Bo back on board with Team Lauren. She loved her best friend, but she was being stubborn and ridiculous. She was miserable without her doctor and the blonde was miserable without Bo.
Bo now sat on the edge of the dock with a glass of iced tea in her hand. She was exhausted from training. They had been doing two or three sessions a day. Bo was extremely focused and her mentor knew that she was using her training as a diversion from the real issue. John had come to sit with her on the dock,
"So…"
"I know, John. Please no more lectures. I don't think I could take another one. I just listened to Gaia through my entire feed. I know I have to talk to Lauren. I know I have to forgive her for not telling me about Ethan. I know I have to accept that the lack of trust and unwillingness to commit to me are consequences of my actions. I know that I have had six years to get over what happened with us and for her it's like it had happened just yesterday. I know all of this, John…"
Bo sighed and hung her head before staring out across the water again.
"I just don't know how to do all of that. I don't know how to be around her and pretend we're a couple and do all of the things that couples do knowing that she isn't thinking about a life together down the road."
"Then tell her all of that, Bo. Tell her and maybe she can help you with that."
"No need… she just told her."
Kenzi's voice was loud and clear as she approached the two.
"Lauren wanted to see you and I told her you would be more than willing to hear her out because you're not really as stubborn as you appear to be."
Bo turned quickly, feeling her anger rise that Kenzi had forced this meeting on her but was met with a warning glare from Kenzi.
"Could I talk to Kenzi alone for a moment." Bo asked Lauren.
"Of course." Lauren said as she walked back towards the diner. "I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. I did not mean to disrespect your request for space. I'll leave right away."
Bo sighed as she saw sadness and shame replace the previously optimistic look on Lauren's face. She felt immediately guilty for being so short in her response to the pair's arrival.
"Lauren… wait. Really, it's okay. Just please give me a moment with Kenzi, then we can talk."
"Are you sure? I don't want to push if you're not ready to talk to me."
"Sure. I mean… yes… we can talk. Just… after. Kenzi?"
The young brunette approached the Succubus as John stood,
"I'll just go say hello to Lauren while you two have your moment. Don't keep her waiting too long, Bo."
She nodded and moved her attention to her best friend.
"Kenzi… I thought we agreed you weren't going to get involved with the decisions I make about Lauren anymore?"
"That's just it… I'm not… you're not making any decisions about Lauren. I was coming to have lunch with Lauren and Madge at the diner, so naturally Ethan wanted to come."
"Ethan is here? Kenzi!"
"Yes, Bo and he wants to spend time with BOTH of his parents for lunch with his grandparents and his coolest ever Aunt Kenzi. I'm sorry, Bo but this going back and forth between the two of you is exhausting, so get your shit together or I won't be coming around for a while. You're both miserable and so is your son unless he is with his uncles and cousins. That boy should be happy around his parents. You two are very good at building walls and we both know that the longer you stay apart, the higher the walls will be and the harder it will be to tear them back down. Break the ice… get that much over with. Please, Bo."
"I just…"
"I swear, Bo Dennis… if you say you're not ready I will smack you upside your head! I have spent the last week tucking your son in for bed with YOUR mate instead of you! I'm the one listening to him re-tell the story of the best night of his life every time his head hits the pillow. Do you have any idea what that night is? Actually, there are two… one is the night he met you at the Red Sox game and you road him around on your motorcycle. He said he knew right away that he loved you when you met. The second night he likes a little better because he was with BOTH of his parents and they really loved each other then. It's the night you two were riding Lauren down the beach. Okay… that just sounds so wrong on so many levels, but I take it your remember the night?"
"Yes and it was a great night." Bo paused for a moment. "Fine… ice breaker coming right up. But I'm not making any promises, Kenz."
"Bo… Lauren has some things she'd like to say. Just hear her out. Then if you want to, you can go back and hide in that shack by yourself like the hermit you've become but I can't promise you'll have a mate, son or BFF when you finally decide to come back to the real world. You're giving Lauren more reasons not to trust you at the very time where she is working on trying to build that trust. You know I love you, but does it always have to be push and pull with you, Bo? Sweet Gaia help me to help my friend get her head out of her fucking ass!"
Kenzi waved her arms over her head as she turned to walk away mumbling something in Russian. Bo had never seen her that mad and she had never talked to her like that before. Suddenly, Kenzi turned back around and yelled to her,
"Oh – and by the way… Chase and Aunt Shelly would like to see you too. Oh yea, and your uncles… Elder Adoni, Arranz, Callum… well a whole mess of other dudes would like to meet you as well. Remember that Adoni is your blood Uncle… Chase's dad… your blood cousin… oh… and while you've been out here moping around, your Father's parents… your GRANDPARENTS have been waiting to meet you too. Don't worry, they love their great grandson… they were happy to meet his other mom before their own flesh and blood!"
"Ch-Chase… Aunt Sh… Grandparents… I have Grandparents…"
"Yes… your friend from up north? He's pissed that you haven't said more than a hello since he arrived that night. He said he thought you two were closer than that. As for your GP's, I'm sure they're just happy as hell that their GD doesn't have her shit together enough to be with her son. After all, I'm sure that since you're not being held hostage by the Dark King or banished to another realm, they truly understand that your reasons for not being with your son are completely understandable. Asshole!"
Thunder roared and a downpour started right over Bo's head as Kenzi turned and literally stormed away.
"Shit."
Bo watched as Kenzi walked away. She had brought her friend here from a bad situation and then essentially put her in the middle of all of her drama with Lauren… drama she herself had created. She then left her to fend for herself with a bunch of strangers from her new Druid family. She wasn't there to support her friend through this new phase of her life in her training sessions, though as Bo stood under the single rain cloud, she assumed Kenzi's training was going very well. She turned and sat back down on the dock. Kenzi was right. She was being an asshole and needed to get out of her funk and do right by her son and Lauren. After all, she wasn't proving she could trust her if she was running from their first argument. She felt the rain stop and looked up to find the sun shining overhead.
"Thank you Kenzi."
Bo was freezing but the sun was warm. She stared down at the water watching the fish dart in and out from under the dock. A voice interrupted her thoughts,
"Mind if I sit?"
Bo's heart raced and she felt the blood surge to her face,
"Not at all… please." Bo pointed to the space next to her on the dock.
"So… Ethan says Hi. He's eating PB & J for lunch… a rare treat for doing all of his jobs on the farm today. He's waiting to see you."
"That's good."
"Yea." Silence engulfed the pair.
"So, it's a beautiful day today, isn't it?"
Bo smiled looking out across the water,
"Other than Kenzi's storm yes it is, but did you really want to talk about the weather?"
Lauren smiled and lowered her head, "No… no, I didn't. I…"
Lauren had run through this conversation in her mind repeatedly but now she found herself tongue tied in the presence of the brunette.
"I know the feeling…" Bo looked at the blonde, "I mean, I understand how it feels when you have a lot you feel you should say… want to say… but then when you're with the person, all of a sudden the words just fly right out of your head."
They both smiled.
"Bo, I've really thought a lot about everything you said before you asked for some space. I know you asked me to wait for you to come to me, but the silence… it was making me… well, my Succubus… she was…"
"I heard, Lauren and believe me when I say I understand. And don't worry about having to go to the bar to feed… since your mate was unwilling, you had to do it… biological imperative and all. I should have been there for you and I wasn't. I'm sorry I've made that particular part harder for you."
"Please, don't apologize. You were right about a lot of things. Just… well, I think the space was a good idea because it gave me a chance to really think about how I feel and what I want."
"Me too… especially the tongue-lashing Kenzi just gave me."
"Yea, I think the whole of North America heard that one. Listen, Bo… I love you – that is not something I ever want you to question. We've been apart for six years and we've both changed. Would you agree with that?"
"Yes, I would."
"So when we bonded, we were totally different people. You fell in love with a very different Lauren and apparently I fell in love with a very different Bo. Agreed?"
"Yes, I guess."
"You guess?"
"Well… I say that because I think it's true in general terms. I know you feel different because of your Fae and Druid, but your humanity… the things I fell in love with are still there, Lauren. You aren't as different as you think. So much of you is still… well… you."
Bo thought a moment, "Are you giving me the 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you' speech?"
"No, not really… just… please Bo… hear me out before you jump to conclusions. You said you wouldn't do that anymore."
Bo took a deep breath and sighed. Lauren had a point. "You're right and I'm listening."
"Thank you. I agree that there are core things about you that I am still in love with… your heart, your need to protect those you love, your sense of humor, your caring nature and the way you are with Ethan."
"Well, that doesn't sound so bad."
"It isn't. But Bo, can you tell me what you love about me?"
"Your soft spoken ways, your kind and caring nature, the way you have put Ethan first for all of these years, how you have fought to survive, your amazing brain and adorable geek speak. The way you look right now as you look out at the water… that soft, easy way you have about you… it calms me and draws me in. Your humanity and your innocence is something I have always loved about you."
"And that's one of the problems that comes with our new start, Bo. I'm not human anymore and I am far from innocent. I have killed and will continue to kill to protect those I love... and to feed as a Phoenix, Nereid and shifted Tiger. I am trying desperately to hang on to what humanity I have left, but my Fae and Druid have changed me, Bo. They've changed the way I see the world and some of the things in it. When I used to look at my laboratory mice, I would think they were so cute. Now, my phoenix says "dinner!" When I saw a fox, a wolf, a deer… I thought they were amazing and the environmentalist in me would say preserve and protect. Now, my tiger says, "dinner!" Don't you get it, Bo? They're part of me… I'm not some innocent human anymore… I'm trying to feel it, but…"
"I understand, Lauren – you know I do. I thought I was human and then found out I was Fae. I am the one person who can say I truly understand."
"As can Kenzi. We've been talking a lot about that lately. How Team Human is now Team Drae… Kenzi speak for…"
"I get it… merging Druid and Fae. There are things about Kenzi that we will always be able to expect and those things will never change. She will always be quick witted and sarcastic even though she will have Druid powers. I can imagine the wit and sarcasm will accompany the use of her powers."
"It already is. When she throws water, she yells, "Swoosh"… and apparently when she starts an individual thunderstorm over a person, she yells…"
"Asshole… yea, I know." Bo and Lauren both chuckled.
"I've missed her, Bo. Thanks for bringing her back."
"So have I… so much."
"I still can't believe you left her in Toronto all of this time."
"That's because you always felt there was some sort of line formed at my heart and that you were at the back of the line. Well, if you want to imagine a line, then imagine the front of the line is Kenzi, then Trick, then Dyson, then Hale, then Tamsin. They're my family."
Lauren lowered her head and spoke, "I understand… I've done more damage to us than I wanted and I'm sorry I…" Bo cut Lauren off…
"Now who's jumping to conclusions? Lauren – that's what you've never understood. You're not in that line… you're beside me… in me. I carry your heart… I carry it IN me, Lauren… just like the poem. Don't you see? You'll never stand in line for my heart. No matter whom it may appear I'm putting first, you are always there before anyone else lines up. That's how I could leave Kenzi in Toronto for six years. She is my heart, Lauren, but you are my soul – my very being. Without you, I don't know who I am. Without you, well… apparently I become a hermit in a small cottage on the beach. Without you, I can barely exist."
"And about that barely existing thing… Kenzi told me…"
"I know, she told me." Bo hung her head, tears immediately welling up in her eyes at the shame of it all. Here it was… Lauren saw her as weak… someone who needed pity… someone who was off her rocker.
"Bo – the stigma attached to mental illness has always bothered me. Legs get broken, arms get broken, skin gets cut, blood gets infected, lungs get diseased – the body is vulnerable and that includes the mind. Everyone goes through rough patches now and then and there wouldn't be doctors for the mind if they weren't needed. I just want you to know that I am so grateful you had a support system in place when I ran. I should have been there for you. Part of what happened to you was my fault and…"
"No, Lauren. I was weak."
"No Bo. It was the bond."
"What?"
"The bond, Bo. You were bonded to me and I left. If I hadn't been so focused on the pregnancy with our son and all of my Fae and Druid, I would have felt it more. Remember – I had Ethan to fill the bond – a part of you was always with me. You had nothing and two parts of you were missing. Your deep depression was because of our absence. I caused that."
"I… didn't know."
"Well, now you do. You aren't weak Bo. You survived a sudden and abrupt breach of our bond with nothing to help you get through it except your friends and family. I'm… I'm so glad you're alive and well."
Lauren's voice cracked as she remembered Kenzi's story. She'd almost lost her for good. She couldn't live without her… she needed Bo to know that… she owed her that much.
"Bo, before I left I had told Dyson that I didn't know if I could survive without you but I had to try. Before you arrived, I had already decided I was going to come and look for you at some point. I'm sorry I wasn't more decisive, but I was kind of dying." Lauren smiled and Bo rolled her eyes. She understood.
"I know now that I can't live without you in my life… and even if I could, I don't want to. I will never love anyone the way I love you – I am sure of that. I may have a few setbacks when the memories of the past come back to haunt me on occasion, but I know that I am hopelessly, helplessly, endlessly in love with you. I am sure that our love will only grow. I want you to know all of that, but I still want to wait for a few months before we come back to the topic of lifetime commitments. I would love that to happen down the road, but even you agreed that we are different now. Sweetie, we have a lot going on with our own training and Kenzi, Ethan and even if we're in denial about it… this prophecy."
"I know." Bo reluctantly agreed with a sigh.
"About the trust thing, Bo… opening myself up to you again after keeping those feelings locked away for so long takes a lot of trust. I've carried those memories and that perception since I left Toronto. I didn't know to change the way I was looking at things because I didn't know you were looking for me."
"Because you shut me out." Bo felt her anger flare and shook her head to rein it back in. Anger wouldn't help this situation.
"And I've apologized for that."
"Just as I've apologized for Dyson and Rainer. I just want us to call it even. We've both done things wrong but I don't want to be the one who is still doing penance for my sins when I'm fully putting my trust in you again."
"Really? Is that why I haven't seen you for two weeks? Because you trust that I'm not going to leave you?"
"Well, you can't say you won't yet, so I don't know."
"Okay, then let me say this. I have no plans to leave you. I want a future with you. I want more kids with you. I want all of those things. It's my dream but you have to work to achieve your dreams and we have work to do, Bo. On ourselves as well as us as a couple. You have work to do on your relationship with your son – granted, that is my fault and while I can't go back and change the choices I made, I can help you with that relationship. You also have Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Grandparents who desperately want a relationship with you, Bo. How would you feel if years down the road, Ethan was gone and he had a child who didn't want to spend time with you?"
"Well, that would suck."
"Yes, it would. So do you see? Right now, there is so much going on for both of us… I'm just asking for some time, Bo. Can you ask me again about forever in a few months? Maybe even weeks. I can't promise anything right now, but if we are still swimming in this "new life" soup, I promise we'll keep talking about it. I wont blindside you like I did all those years ago when I asked you for a break. I promise you that, Bo."
"And you'll work on trusting my love for you?"
"I promise. These past two weeks have already helped me to understand it."
"Oh yea? And what have you learned about your mistrust for your Druid-Succubus mate?"
Lauren was silent. Bo was right. She had to start trusting her. It was ridiculous that she didn't. She had done nothing but be there for her for the past month. She had been an attentive friend and lover. As a mother, she could ask for no one better for Ethan. She actually understood why Bo had wanted the space. She needed to start trusting her right now by telling her the truth about her lingering doubt.
"Bo, you're right about my needing to trust you, so I'm going to trust you right now with the reason for my lingering doubt. But I have to know… can I tell you something without you getting mad when I tell you something you will probably not like?"
"Okay…" Bo said cautiously. She didn't like the sound of this.
"The reason I don't trust you is because of a ghost… something that the bond and my mind tell me isn't a threat… but for some reason, my heart just doesn't believe it."
"A ghost… "
"Yes, the ghost that haunted both my conscious and unconscious life every day for five years before I met you. The ghost that was always lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce and ruin everything any time you and I started to get close…"
"I… Lauren… what are you talking about?"
"My ghost, Bo… it's Dyson."
"Dyson? Lauren, I… wait a minute… haunted you for five years before we met?"
"He was the head of the Ash's security team, Bo. He took me as a slave and mocked me for my humanity. He was cocking, arrogant and condescending… among other things. We have… we have other history, Bo."
"You were together?!"
"Gods no! Girls only here! He was the Ash's right hand, Bo. He handed out the punishment to humans. I watched him… friends of mine who talked back or didn't find cures… he was the one… he did the punishing."
"Lauren… what are you saying? What did he do to you?"
"Bo, you know how I was treated by Lachlan. That's how Fae treat humans. I was beaten and thrown in a dungeon for two weeks, Bo."
"Dyson… h-h-he… b-beat you? He… the dungeon… that was him?"
"Only once when Lachlan took over, but before that… yes... every time it was deemed necessary by him as the head of security, one of the lead doctors or the Ash himself."
"But… I've never seen any scars…"
"Oh, the Fae are very good about that, Bo. Nothing visible."
"But I've seen you without clothes…"
"Not invisible because of clothing Bo... invisible because they're hidden by my skin. The Fae can bruise organs, rupture blood vessels, cause nerve pain and break bones with no external bruising. All you need is the right powers and a dark dungeon cell."
Lauren became silent.
"Lauren? What did he do?"
Lauren still said nothing. She just stared at the dark waters below as the memories of Dyson breaking her legs in the dungeon cell returned. It had been her first few months as a slave and she had left the lab without permission to check to be sure Nadia was truly being kept in stasis after a doctor had told her the Ash would probably pull the plug on her girlfriend and she would be kept as a slave anyway.
Dyson had noticed her missing and hunted her down. He found her with Nadia. When he did, he asked her why she had left the lab without escort or permission. She told him what had happened, but he didn't want to hear it. She needed to learn that she was nothing more than chattel and human slaves who left without permission were treated like runaways even if they were still on compound grounds. He told her he would teach her not to run.
He dragged her by the hair to a dungeon cell with two other guards. The two guards were Morays. They had the ability to electrocute their prey, which is what they did to Lauren. After enduring the electric shocks, Dyson had broken her legs so she would never run again.
Dr. Everetts was sent to her cell with a Faerie healer who used a technique over two days to heal Lauren's legs quickly. After all, the Ash needed her in the lab, so she needed to be on her feet to work. While the legs healed in a matter of days, the pain remained for weeks. She never forgot what Dyson had done. Even now she could hear the snapping sounds in her head and the look of pleasure on Dyson's face as she had screamed in agony. She had spent a week in that cell with nothing but bread and water provided twice daily. She lost seven pounds that week.
Bo had pushed into Lauren's mind to read her thoughts and heard everything her mate had been thinking in vivid detail. Lauren felt the wind pick up suddenly and looked to the horizon to see the afternoon sky had darkened. She looked at Bo to find her Succubus staring back at her.
"I will kill him. I promise I'll be back."
Lauren grabbed Bo's hand and allowed her Succubus to come out. She spoke back to Bo,
"My love… I know you are upset over what the wolf did to my human and me but we have forgiven him. While you were with the Wanderer, we agreed that you had taught us both to see things differently. We bonded over our common love for you."
"I do not love him. I am eternally bound to you. He will suffer."
"No, Bo. We will stay here with our son and await his arrival. We know he will come."
"Very well, but when he does he will be punished."
John, Kenzi and Madge came running out of the diner to see the two Succubae in their swirling chi making out like two horny teenagers. They looked up to see a rainbow in the sky.
"False alarm! Back to the food!" Kenzi exclaimed as she turned and left John and Madge gaping at the couple.
"I swear these two are going to put us in an early grave, John."
"Well… at least they're… uh… talking… or uh… communicating…" John and Madge turned away as hands started to move up shirts. "Let's get back to our meals."
Madge used her powers to move the boats back a bit so the pair was hidden from the view of the boats on the bay and then moved inside behind Kenzi and John. She smiled, as she looked back once more at the couple now in a warm embrace with the chi beginning to subside. She looked up at the sunny sky and smile,
"All is right with the world again."
Bo and Lauren pulled apart and looked at each other with big brown eyes.
"Uh… sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Lauren. Apparently our Succubae are cool with us being back together. I just think that we need to take things slow."
"Are you going to stay at the cottage again tonight?"
"Let's just see how lunch and the rest of the day goes, okay?"
"Bo… I really am sorry if I've done anything to cause you not to trust me again. I really do want us to work."
Bo stood and offered Lauren a hand up from the dock. Lauren took the offered hand and stood as Bo took a step closer. She cupped Lauren's cheek as she spoke,
"I love you, Lauren Lewis. I was being a stubborn ass just like Kenzi said. I'll find a way to live with everything that has happened. I'll find a way to earn your trust."
"Bo, you've done plenty to earn my trust. I think it will be easier to put Dyson behind us. Even if he were to show up, people support us as a couple now and that makes me feel a little more secure. I'm sorry I allowed him to linger in my mind."
"Well, rightfully so, Lauren. Can I ask why you never told me about that before?"
"Everyone in our world loved Dyson. If I'd said anything, I would have just been crying sour grapes."
"I think breaking your legs and beating you once is more than just sour grapes."
Lauren hesitated and looked out over the bay, then turned back to Bo and just smiled. Bo again invaded her mates thoughts and saw Lauren's memory flashes.
"Oh Gods… it wasn't just that one time."
"No Bo, but… listen… that's behind us now, okay? As my Succubus told you, Dyson and I talked. He apologized and I accepted. I guess part of me has always been afraid of the old Dyson coming back if you and I were ever together again. I just never trusted how far he would go to keep us apart – especially after he had been mated to you. We both know now how powerful the pull can be to your mate. Besides, if he messed with me now, I'd kick his ass."
"That's my girl." They stood looking at each other in silence until Bo reached out her hand for Lauren to take. Lauren looked down at it in question as Bo wiggled her fingertips as a second request for the doctor to take her hand. When Lauren finally did, Bo smiled and gave the chilled hand a squeeze.
"I think we have a lunch date with a very handsome young man."
"Why yes, we do." Bo started to turn away, but Lauren's grip was firm as she pulled her back to face her.
"I love you, Bo – with all my heart, Fae, Druid and human. I promise, we'll talk in a few months at the latest about our future. Once we get ourselves under control we can see about getting the rest of our lives under control."
Bo smiled at her mate.
"Uh, Bo?"
"Yea?"
"You do know that a little while ago, you started a storm and then almost teleported to kick Dyson's ass, right?"
"Well, he deserves it. We will have words about this, Lauren. You know me – I won't let this go just because you tell me the two of you have made up. He needs to know that I know and that it was anything but okay… even if it had happened years ago. He should have told me himself, Lauren. He knew how I felt about you… we talked about it. I told him I chose you and that I was in love with you. He should have told me what he'd done to you. Omitting truths is the same thing as lying – especially when the truth you omit serves your own cause. He knew that if he told me I would never come back to him."
Lauren sighed. She knew she wasn't going to change Bo's mind on this. If and when they ever saw Dyson again, it was going to be ugly. All Lauren could do was hope that she was there to keep Bo under control when it happened.
"I understand, Bo and I know you will do what you feel you need to do. It's between you and Dyson. Just, please… don't kill him. I kind of like the new, gentler, more accepting Dyson I had gotten to know before I left… and the helmet really was a very cool gift."
"I won't kill him, Lauren… maybe I'll just… break his legs so he knows how it feels."
"Bo, please…"
"Alright, fine. But we talk about us in a few months… spring, right?"
"Spring it is, then. Let's get inside and have lunch with our family. Your son is waiting."
… … … … … …
Only a few people remained from the large family gathering that had spontaneously happened at the beach house that afternoon. Bo had spent some much needed time with her Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, her best friend, mate and son. The most memorable meeting however, had been with her grandparents. She smiled at the memory.
They were simply amazing – and very, very powerful. Bo had felt it immediately. It actually scared her a little until her grandmother had felt her fear and explained who and what they were. Her grandmother, Queen Beli, was the most powerful healer in the land. Emma had later told her that her grandmother was able to bring worthy Druids back from the brink of death. Her grandfather, King Vesta, was the most powerful fire Druid in the land. Vesta had arrived in Pompeii to close the volcano that had devastated the land. You could still see the remorse that he had not arrived sooner to save its people. Chase had whispered to Bo that her grandfather King Vesta had teleported right into the volcano itself to close it up and teleported out just before it closed around him.
Bo had learned that her grandparents had retired from the throne after the Great Fae wars and relinquished it to her Father, Aidan only to have to reclaim it when he was taken prisoner by the Dark King. They had been told by Gaia to retain the throne until the chosen one of their flesh would return. They didn't know what that meant at the time, but now that they knew their son was still alive, knew that it was Bo who was meant to claim the throne.
Bo had squirmed in her seat at the mention of the "p" word and her grandmother had given a knowing grin. The Succubus was promised that no talk of the "p" word would happen until after her Druid training was complete. Her grandparents had ordered it so and would be supervising her training from that point forward.
So, the afternoon had gone by quickly with the family. As the sun was starting to move towards the horizon, Bo had settled on the deck with a glass of wine as she watched the remaining group fly kites. Madge and John had taken Jake and Little John back for an early night's sleep because they were going fishing with their dads and uncles before dawn. Emma and Ella had left with them, as well as the rest of the Elders. As Bo sat drinking her wine, she had begun to think about going back to the cottage for the evening. She knew that Kenzi, Lauren and Ethan would be upset if she didn't stay at the beach house tonight, but she had some things at the cottage and she didn't feel like moving them back tonight. Actually, if she were telling the truth, she wanted to make sure that she and Lauren didn't rush into anything tonight. She laughed realizing she was a Succubus who didn't want to get laid.
She was pulled from her thoughts by her cousin Chase yelling, "Run, little dude!"
Ethan was laughing and smiling as he ran down the beach trying to get his kite aloft. Kenzi and Lauren were standing not far away with smiles on their faces as they laughed at the sight of Chase running behind the speedy little Druid trying to hold the kite up to help him get it in the air. James and Aunt Shelley stood at the water's edge not far from the group and had turned to see what was happening as well. They were all smiling and laughing.
"Gods I could get used to this life." Bo said quietly.
She took another sip of her wine as she contemplated walking down to say her goodbyes. She wanted to be alone at the cottage tonight to gain appreciation for all she had with Lauren and Ethan. Alone, she would miss them and be able to remove the impulsive thoughts she'd had before she had been reunited with Lauren. She wanted to be the Bo she had become while traveling over the last six years. She did not want to revert to the selfish, impetuous brat she had been before. She smiled thinking of how Lachlan would laugh if he could hear her label herself with the same term she had found so offensive when he had used it.
Bo had resumed her journal writing last week and had quickly settled back into a routine of meditation, writing, working out or training with John and healthy feeding – both chi and food. Doing these things had her in her strongest and – most importantly – most levelheaded state. She wanted to be sure that – while she would be part of a bonded couple – that she wouldn't lose herself in the process and become someone less worthy of Lauren and Ethan. She hoped Lauren would understand.
'I do, Bo. And you're right – if you had just said you were leaving tonight, I would have been upset. But hearing the rest of your thought process, I understand. We each have to do the things we need to do to be healthy – for our son and each other. Take the night and do what you must. If you need more time, that's fine to. I'll be waiting – you can trust that. But if you could stay just a little while longer and come down here and play with Ethan for a bit, that would probably ease his mind when you leave.'
'Evesdropping again, Dr. Lewis?' Bo chuckled into their link.
'I had planned to just talk to you about how great it is to watch him like this but I didn't want to interrupt your thought process.'
'That's okay – I don't want you to feel like you can't use our link whenever you want. I thought about it and I want to try no restrictions with our link. I don't want you to have any reason to mistrust me. If I give you full access, it will keep that trust solid. It's what I want too. By the way – it is great to watch him like this… and you, Kenzi, Chase, James and Aunt Shelley. Everyone happy and smiling… we have a family, Lauren. A real family.'
'Yes we do, Bo – and they're great. As for our link, I want you to have full access as well. That way, when I'm having those doubts, you'll be able to jump in and tell me what an idiot I'm being. I promise, no more blocking.'
"Mamma! Mommy! Aunt K! Look! My kite! It's flying! It's flying!"
Bo and Lauren turned their eyes to the sky to see the kite was indeed, tossing and turning in the wind as it climbed higher and higher. Lauren heard Bo,
'Please stay up, please stay up.'
'You know, I cheat sometimes.'
'Cheat? How?'
'Watch.'
Bo turned her eyes on her mate and watched as she spread her arms wide, then pulled them together and pushed them hard towards the kite. Everyone watched in awe as the kite began to climb and climb. Lauren yelled to her son,
"You've caught a thermal, Ethan! Hold tight to the string!"
"It's pulling really hard, Mommy! It's going to go all the way up! This is awesome!"
'Thermal?' Bo asked.
'A thermal is a pocket of heated air that streams straight up. Anything caught in it gets pushed up with it. Think of it as a stream or a creek, only it's made of warm air and runs up instead of down.'
'Very cool, Dr. Lewis. So you made a thermal?'
'Yes, I gathered warm air and then pushed it up under the kite. I'll teach you some time.'
'Okay – that sounds like a plan.' Bo stood from her chair and moved down towards the water to play with Ethan.
"Mamma, look! See how high?"
"I do, buddy! It's way up there! It's so cool!"
"It's sailing, Mamma!" Bo smiled at her son's enthusiasm.
"Let's put this spool in the sand and launch my other one. They can sail together!"
Ethan ran back to his Mommy and grabbed his other kite. A little while later, he and Bo had the other one in the air dancing not far from the first one. They were lying on the sand, Ethan's head on Bo's shoulder as they watched his kites dance about them. Ethan spoke,
"Did you and Mommy have a good day?"
"Yes, we did buddy. It was a very good day."
"But you're still not coming home with us tonight, are you?"
"No, buddy – not yet."
"Do you not love us anymore?"
"Are you kidding? I love you both to the ends of the universe."
"Really?"
"Cross my heart. I will always love you and your Mommy. Even when your Mommy and I have our differences."
"She loves you a lot too, you know."
"I do know. Right now, we're both learning how to be Druids and parents to you. There's a lot for us to learn so we're just taking some time to get used to our powers."
"Will you ever come home again?"
"Absolutely. Your mommy and I are just taking things slowly. We were apart for a very long time and it takes a little while for people to get used to sharing a space together after things have been a certain way for so long."
"You were away my whole life – that's a really long time."
"Yes it was and I'm sorry I missed all of that time watching you grow up, Ethan. I promise I won't miss anymore time if I can help it."
"You won't teleport back to Toronto and make Mommy think you are leaving us?"
"Never again. If I leave, your Mommy will know where I'm going, why I'm going and how long I'll be gone if I can tell her."
"Okay."
"Mamma?"
"Yes, Ethan?"
"I was scared you were leaving us for good. Mommy isn't good when you aren't here."
"I know and I'm very sorry I scared you. It was wrong of me to do that."
"Yes it was. You shouldn't scare people. But it's okay – people make mistakes, right? We just have to learn them and not do them again. Okay?"
"Okay," Bo said as her son snuggled into her side and smiled.
"Please don't leave yet." Ethan said in a timid voice.
"I won't. We can stay her just like this for as long as you want."
"Or until Mommy comes to get me to tell me it's time for bed. I hate bedtime."
"But you love bedtime, buddy! You get to read cool stories!"
"Yea – I've been telling Aunt K all about Ysabeau the Great."
"I'm sure she loved hearing those stories."
"They make her laugh."
"I'm sure they do, buddy. I'm sure they do."
It didn't take long for Ethan to nod off in the warmth and safety of his mother's arms. When Bo noticed he was asleep, she called silently to Lauren,
'He's out, Lo.'
'Okay. Kenzi is going to take him in so we can say goodnight.'
Kenzi and Lauren walked over to the sleeping child. Kenzi whispered,
"Oh. My. God. Bo, that is adorable. Motherhood agrees with you, my friend."
Kenzi paused, then continued,
"Okay – enough of the mushy stuff. Help me hoist that large piece of childhood dead weight onto my shoulder. Actually… how about you carry, Chase! I'll lead the way."
At Kenzi's command, Chase bent down, picked up his sleeping nephew, and carried him inside with the young Goth by his side. Lauren came to sit next to Bo.
"So, I guess this is good night?"
"Yea. You do understand, don't you?"
"Yes, Bo. I do – I just… I miss you terribly."
"I know, Lauren and I miss you too. We agreed to take things slow, though."
"I know – I'll survive the night… and as many nights as you want to take… I'm just hoping it's not many."
"I want to spend more time with you. Things are awkward between us right now. Don't you feel it?"
"Yes. Distance will do that – which is why I don't want to put too much between us for too long a time. Okay?"
"Okay. I'm going to shut down our link during training and meditations, okay?"
"I think that's a good idea for both of us. With our luck, I would interrupt you while John was throwing a massive fireball at you."
"Yea, but think of the fun you could have healing me." Bo smirked.
"Why, Ms. Dennis – I think you're flirting with me."
"Yea – takes away some of the awkward, don't you think?"
"Absolutely. So, can I walk you to your bike?"
"Please."
They silently stood and walked through the sand a short distance before Lauren eventually reached for Bo's hand. She didn't let go until Bo needed her hand back to put on her Kevlar jacket.
"So, will I see you tomorrow?" Lauren asked.
"Why don't you give me a call on our personal line in the morning. I won't make any promises, but…" Bo was cut off by Lauren shaking her head,
"I know, Bo. I'm sorry I asked. Will you at least promise to see Ethan tomorrow?"
"Absolutely." The Succubus reassured.
"I can't wait until you have that type of response for wanting to see me again."
"Lauren… I'm sorry… I…"
"It's okay, Bo. I shouldn't have said that. You take your time – I understand… I do… I just wish things were different. We'll take it slow... just not too slow, okay?"
"Okay. Goodnight, Lauren."
"Goodnight, Bo."
Lauren leaned in and gave Bo a quick kiss on the cheek. They stopped and stared at each other before Bo leaned in closely and whispered,
"I do love you Lauren… really, I do. I hope you truly know and trust that. It's the only way we're going to get over this hurdle. You need to believe in me – I need that from you. When you believe in me, I believe in myself. You help me to be strong, Lauren."
"I love you too, Bo… so very much. I can't think of anyone on the planet who would have gone through all you've gone through to be with me. I'm sorry I ever doubted how you feel. After having these weeks to think about it, I really can't believe how quickly the old Lauren with all of her insecurities came out."
"I was just saying the same thing about myself this morning. I've gotten back into a routine of meditation and journal writing again. I learned that by doing those two things – and working out – I was able to become the person I've become over the past six years. Don't take this the wrong way, but I think we have this habit of getting so wrapped up in each other that we forget to take care of the things we need to do for ourselves to be the people we love. Do you know what I mean?"
"I do. Before you came, I was on a very strict schedule of feeding, working out and training. Once we started spending time together, I lost all of that and quickly fell out of control."
"That's bad, isn't it?" Bo wanted Lauren's confirmation that she agreed so she knew they were both on the same page going forward.
"I suppose so. And it's not healthy for Ethan to get off schedule either. I mean, breaking routines once in a while for special occasions is fine, but we are better being creatures of habit." Lauren smiled at Bo.
"Okay, so let's take the next week to figure out what schedule works best for each of us independently, then we'll figure out how to merge that schedule so we both get what we need plus spend healthy amounts of time together. Then, we need to get Ethan's schedule merged with ours." Bo suggested.
"You're not… I'm sorry," Lauren withdrew.
"I'm not what?" Bo asked.
"Nothing – I said I wouldn't press." Lauren didn't want to cross any boundaries, but she was still working on learning what they were.
"No boundaries, Lauren… just slow… and you also said we'd be honest, now spill Dr. Lewis."
"It sounds like you're saying you won't be back home for at least another week… and… Ethan won't…"
"No, no, no… Lauren, I'm so sorry… we can work on our schedules together in the same house… what I'm saying is that together or apart – let's just make sure we do."
Lauren sighed in relief – she didn't think she could take another week away from her mate. She wished she could take the whole mistrust thing back… she had been happy with her…
Bo moved to speak through their link. She liked the intimacy of speaking this way and needed Lauren to feel reassured right now,
'Lauren… what happened is good. I know you miss me, but I'm glad you know that now. I'm also glad I know about the ghost of Dyson's past and what happened there. I'm also glad we figured out that we were neglecting our own needs for each other and not keeping Ethan on the schedule he needs. Everything happened exactly as it needed to for us to be better. We're going to be stronger for having gone through this, Lauren. I promise.'
Bo moved towards Lauren, placing her hands on either side of her face. She brushed a strand of hair behind the blondes' ear and looked intently in her eyes as she told her,
'I am in love with you, Lauren Lewis. My desires and hopes for our love and future have not changed. Just because we're not in the same house doesn't mean my feelings or my dreams for us are any different than what you read in my journals. But Lauren, you still can't commit to me, so space isn't a bad thing. Take it and use it to think and figure out what you want from us. What do you envision when you look forward in your life. You have to figure out if you see me there for the long haul, Lauren.'
Bo's lips slowly moved to Lauren's as the pair merged into a slow and sensual kiss that held more passion and meaning than any kiss before it. Lauren's tongue begged to enter and Bo opened her mouth allowing it. They relaxed into the familiar warmth and intimacy they had both missed as Bo's hands wandered under Lauren's shirt to grasp at the skin on her mate's sides and back. Lauren too moved her hands to feel the skin beneath Bo's clothing as the two became lost in the moment.
"Lo! Ethan's awake and asking for a bedtime story. Goodnight, Bo."
Bo smiled as their lips parted, "Goodnight, Kenzi." She turned to Lauren and said, "It's so good to have the little moment-breaker back, isn't it?"
Lauren laughed,
"Yea, but we wouldn't change her for anything, would we? It really is good to have her back. I understand why she became your best friend, Bo. Having these two weeks with Kenzi has really taught me a lot about her. She is wise beyond her years and she really knows how to handle us and our shit, doesn't she?"
"That she does, my love. That she does." Bo kissed Lauren on the cheek and looked back into her tear-filled eyes. "Hey, none of that now. You're loved – there's no need. Remember, I'm giving you this space so you can figure us out. It's best if I'm not here so you can do that. It won't be long, Lo. I'll see you soon. Call to me tonight."
"I will."
Lauren leaned in and whispered into the Succubus' ear,
"Let's get this helmet on and send you on your way so I can go take care of our son. I'll dream of you tonight, Succubus."
Bo smiled and pulled away, "And I'll read you Cummings before you fall asleep."
"I'd like that."
Bo mounted her motorcycle and headed out of the driveway, leaving Lauren with tears in her eyes,
'Take care of my heart, because it's always with you.'
'And mine with you, Bo.'
Lauren smiled and waved as Bo turned out of the driveway and headed down the street. She sighed, turned and walked into the house. Tonight, both she and Ethan could use an Ysabeau the Great story.