The clock on the wall told him it was past noon, yet he had no idea how long he had been sitting here. He couldn't remember if he had fallen asleep, and when he tried to think back, his mind returned only oblivion. He looked down at the cell phone in his hands and tapped it awake. The first page that came up showed him his messages. Out of pure instinct, he typed.

Alfred: hey

Send. A dotted bubble appeared beneath, and a few seconds later there were three responses waiting for him.

Ivan: hey

Ivan: how are you?

Ivan: how are you for real i mean. do not just say automatic that you are great like the americans do.

Alfred: haha um when you put it that way i don't know how to respond

Alfred: i'd say it's been pretty heckin rough, hbu?

Ivan: i am also not out here living my best life.

Alfred bit down on his lip and found that it had been trembling. "Coffee?" Matthew asked, appearing out of the fog and half-sitting down next to him on the bench.

"Nah," Alfred responded, barely looking up.

Matt scooted a little closer, speaking softly, but loud enough that it blocked out the humming from the rest of the universe. "Can I get you anything? Your fridge here is fully stocked."

Alfred shook his head. "Really, I'm good."

They stayed like that for a few seconds, and then Matt sighed and gave in. "Okay. Call me if you need something, eh. I'll just be over—"

"Thank you," Alfred interrupted. It had been building in his throat for so long, and somehow he knew now was the time to say it. For some reason, he hadn't given Matthew enough gratitude, he knew.

His brother's eyes were tired, but never without compassion. He nodded slowly. "Of course."

Someone else emerged from the shadows with an air of urgency. "They're here, Chief. Pronto." Then the man threw a disinterested look Alfred's way. "He will be fine."

Matt nodded. "All right, I'm coming." He patted Alfred on the back. "You'll be fine."

Alfred nodded along, but a cloud was hovering over him and he was already sinking back into his messages.

The battery percentage on the little screen had read 92%, but Ivan found that he had been staring blankly at it for so long that it now said 89%. This gave him much discontent and he blinked rapidly. A new message appeared.

Alfred: i feel like i'm gonna explode

Ivan: i want to cry but i can't and i don't know why i want to cry or why i can't

Alfred: everytime someone talks i jump and it's hard to focus and exhausting trying to keep up and i can't think

Ivan: i do not know what is happening anymore and i am so sad i just want to sleep for two (2) years

He tried to close his eyes, but found he was somehow unable to, so he just leaned back against his seat—a cushioned bench—and breathed as slowly and as steadily as he could and tried not to tear up.

Alfred: i'm starving. like literally. i remember i checked my weight a couple days ago and holy smokes i might be like not fat soon i've lost so much from worrying and idk even why

Ivan: but you are not fat! i am the fat one

Alfred: omg ivan don't say thatttt you know who cares if we're fat like i'm fine with being fat screw the world

Ivan: still you should eat and not worry

Alfred: well in that case then you should sleep and not be sad

Ivan: ;( i guess you mean one is easy and the other is hard

He just wasn't sure which one was the easy one and which one was the hard one. Feeling a bit swampy, he typed with one hand and used the other to fan himself. There was a drone of fans from far above, but obviously they weren't doing their job. Ivan was so confused.

"Coffee?" Toris asked, suddenly in front of him, offering out a polystyrene cup. "We do have a Keurig."

"No thank you," Ivan mumbled back. "No Keurig for me. Sorry."

"Oh. Okay then." Toris continued to hold the cup away from his body, aware of the uselessness it now held. "I guess I should have asked before making this. Hm."

"Hm," Ivan echoed. "You should have asked."

Toris shifted. "Ivan...are you okay?" When Ivan didn't say anything, he said, "Um, I see you got your phone back."

"Yes," Ivan answered. "I am quite glad. You cannot do everything with a computer. Do you know if my phone is clean now?"

"Clean...from the FBI?"

"Yes."

Toris, a person seemingly incapable of casualness, shrugged. "I don't know. I honestly have no idea what they did to it. I barely even hacked Felicks's phone myself because we just FaceTimed so much anyway."

Ivan sighed. "Okay."

"Get well soon," Toris murmured.

Ivan nodded. "Bye-bye."

Ivan: what i really want to do is run away and never have to talk to anyone else ever again.

Alfred: i hear Alaska's nice this time of year

Ivan: haha that might be the closest our two countries ever get. i miss Russia a lot.

Alfred: ;(

Ivan: ;(

Alfred: i would if u would tho

Voices echoed from somewhere; Ivan ignored them.

Ivan: i would

Alfred: i bet you would make an excellent humble fisherman

Ivan: is a fisherman cute

Alfred: ...you could make anything cute

Ivan: okay then correct answer (*⌒∇⌒*)

Alfred: PFF

Ivan: what would you be

Alfred: idk like a mountain climber? a glacier climber? a bear-wrangler probably

Alfred: whatever's cool ig

Ivan: hmm

Ivan: what about a stargazer

Alfred: ohhhhh!

Ivan: i bet the stars are really clear in alaska. not like here where everything is concrete and the river smells bad. i want to be a stargazer

Alfred: YESsss i stan the stars

Ivan: like NASA?

Alfred: yeah

Ivan: yeah.

Alfred: we would live in a little wooden house on top of a glacier and out back we could have a giant telescope

Ivan: i love that

Ivan: we could go outside at night with blankets and warm drinks and map our own constellations

Alfred: ;)

Alfred: do u think we would need computers

Ivan: for stargazing?

Alfred: just to have

Ivan: no. no computers. i never want to touch one ever again.

Alfred: same. i thought about this before but i've changed my mind. technology sucks.

Ivan: what about cell phones?

Alfred: we could rig up a landline like old people

Ivan: what if you fell down the glacier and you have to call for help?

Alfred: put another landline at the bottom

Ivan: (^_-)

Alfred: and if the government tracks us down we can communicate with our own code language that's a cross between english and russian

Ivan: rusglish

Ivan: wait ew that is bad

Ivan: englian?

Ivan: no i do not like it

Alfred: anglo-russo

Ivan: russo-anglo

Ivan: can i ask a question? i learned english in school but how did you learn russian?

Alfred: eh i took a couple college courses and basically was a slave to the duolingo owl

Alfred: and, uh, if i'm gonna be honest here, listening to you over the phone helped

He read over these words twice, and for the first time in many long minutes, shifted. But revulsion no longer stirred in his stomach; his heart just felt a little bit heavier.

Ivan: i like when you are honest.

The distant voices' volume lifted for a few moments, but still Ivan did not look up.

Alfred: can i ask something?

Ivan: yes

Alfred: did you hack into my phone recently? it was acting weird

Again, he stirred, but kept an intense focus on his cell phone, even as outside sounds reverbated from far off. He stuck his chin in his scarf and typed.

Ivan: yes. just last night and this morning. i am very sorry. I was mad and I should not have done it.

Alfred: thanks for telling me. i'm sorry too. i was a shitty mr. fbi.

Ivan: i was a shitty hacker.

Alfred: we're all shitty yay

Ivan: (⌣_⌣")

Alfred: can i ask another question? it might be a personal one. it is about why you wear your scarf all the time.

Coldness crept back over him, and Ivan shivered. Certainly if Alfred had seen him use his phone at night, Alfred would have seen him without his scarf on, which meant Alfred would have seen the bandages around Ivan's neck. Ivan didn't have friends, but he had had workmates and acquaintances, and even they had asked questions. It was considerate of Alfred to wait this long to ask him. Actually, it was very considerate.

Ivan began typing, and then...stopped.

He couldn't. Not right now when they were making linguistics jokes and bringing up the Mr. FBI meme again.

The cold lifted off of Ivan's skin, evaporated through his clothes, and dissipated away, the last remnants of a winter's wind.

Not right now when they were happy together.

Ivan: I am sorry. I am not ready. I will tell you another time.

Alfred: It's okay ;)

Someone marched by him, and this time, Ivan brought his head up. It was Chief Arthur Kirkland. He gave Ivan a sideways look for a second but did not stop for chit-chat. He turned into one of the rows of cubicles that Ivan somehow hadn't noticed before. More voices. Ivan began to feel swampier and swampier.

Ivan: by the way. where are u?

Alfred: …

Alfred: oh shoot um

Alfred: ? god where am i

Alfred: OPE sorry lol i just had a brain fart that was weird anyway i'm at the fbi

Alfred: now that u mention it where are u

Ivan shook his head to clear it, and shook it one more time just to be certain.

Ivan: yes that is where i am too

Alfred: oh sweet where

Ivan: idk on a bench

Alfred: omg wait that's where i am

Ivan looked down the length of the short bench, which was bordered by artificial walls. No Alfred. When he peeked beyond the wall he could see what looked like the staff kitchen. The Keurig was there, but no Alfred.

Ivan: you must be on a different bench because i don't see you.

Alfred: yeah there are more than one bench i remember

Alfred: i think

Ivan: u think?

Alfred: shit man i gotta be honest i don't even do drugs or alcohol but i still feel hungover and high as a kite what the h*ck is going on

Ivan: i can't remember how i got here

Alfred: me neither

Ivan: i am going to stand up now

He stood up. It was a bad idea. His body started shaking out of his control, so he immediately sat back down.

Ivan: never mind

Alfred: oof i fell over

Ivan: are you okay?

Alfred: yeah

Ivan: why did you text then just get up!

Alfred: yeah lol i'm dumb

Ivan: i have been here before. um, illegally. this is very far underground. how do you get cell service down here?

Alfred: pff idk government secrets ig

Ivan: what is the last thing you remember?

Alfred: hhhhhnnnn uh

Alfred: kissing you

Ivan: i remember that too!

Alfred: oh thank god i was scared for a sec it didn't happen

Ivan: 333

Ivan had instant regrets after sending just the little hearts, and began to type again to say anything else—to really try to put the spectacular feeling he had had on top of that hill into words.

Ivan: i would have a deeply sad and empty life if it did not happen

Alfred: i can't imagine any other life

He immediately blushed and buried his chin back into his scarf, smiling to himself.

Ivan: that was so nice. you are a closeted romantic

Alfred: omg no stop you're so nice

Ivan: you would make a very cute stargazer and bear-wrangler in Alaska

Alfred: sign me up

Alfred: if only that were my job now lol i'm gonna be fired

Ivan: i saw your boss walk past me a few minutes ago

Alfred: oh man what'd he say

Ivan: nothing

Alfred: cryptic. well he is a "orders a single black coffee to go" kind of guy

Ivan: omg i thought he drinks tea

Ivan: Toris was here too and he actually offered me coffee

Alfred: wait Matt was here and he did the same

Ivan checked his phone battery again; it read 85%.

Ivan: this is still weird. i can remember everything else clearly now except for how i got here or what is happening.

Alfred: hmm

Ivan: it is almost like my memory was wiped.

The hum of the cosmic microwave background radiation got just a bit louder.

Alfred: HOLY

Alfred: oh my god they wouldn't have

Ivan: what?!

Alfred: Hedervary. whenever you get checked in to come into headquarters, there's the optional memory wipe taser thing

Ivan: what?!

Alfred: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ivan: but i still remember everything important...why would they want to do that to us?

Alfred: i don't even.

Alfred: i mean sometimes she does it just for fun cuz ya know

Ivan: ;0

Ivan: maybe they wanted us to forget so we could be easier to manage. Like temporary vegetables. they could be having a meeting without us right now. are you hearing voices too?

Alfred: "temporary vegetables" ugh what do they even think, like we're detrimental to them or something

Ivan: …

Ivan: well. it is probably true.

Alfred: oof.

Ivan: oof indeed.

As his head cleared, he began to feel more restless. Suddenly, that vision of Alaska seemed more and more appealing. He and Alfred could still leave, potentially, if they wanted. They could sneak out somehow and never come back. Ivan had said he would, but he wanted to see Alfred first.

Ivan: do you think we should try to do something

Alfred: i might be able to walk now...okay make a loud noise and i'll track you

Ivan: ...can you make the loud noise

Alfred: yeah!

Ivan waited a few seconds, and then from somewhere nearby Alfred yelled, "HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?"

Ivan smiled again. He stood up, and this time, his body agreed with him. He slowly rounded the corner of the bench and turned into the kitchen area, re-exploring a place he had already infiltrated. It was pretty much silent except for the far-off obscure utterances. He reached the opposite wall and peeked his head around it, and there was Alfred, grinning. But next to him stood the familiar female FBI Chief Ivan recognized as Elizabeta Héderváry.

"I am home," Ivan said meekly, pocketing his phone. Would she try to take it from him again? Yet—how had it gotten to his hands in the first place?

"Hello," the Chief said cordially. "Are you two feeling any better?"

"Yes," they said in an irked unison.

Her cheeks reddened and she nodded. "Well. Glad to hear. Would you care to join the rest of us? We are just putting the finishing touches on negotiations."

Alfred threw Ivan a look and then crossed his arms. "And who negotiated the idea of mind-wiping us?"

Héderváry tilted her chin at him, but looked smug. "Oh, please. Like it is the first time. It was my idea, actually; I thought that with everything that had been happening, the two of you deserved a break. Well—rather—we needed a break from you. Just some time to try to sort things out on our own. Too much bias." She shrugged. "Only an hour has passed. My apologies."

Alfred scoffed, but he wasn't actually angry. He was relieved, actually, that he had been left out, which said a lot about how much his life had changed. And to have been given a moment of peace, albeit stunted… Ivan just folded his hands. "My understanding was that Alfred and I were not the only ones who are biased."

She nodded solemnly. "Like I said, there were a lot of things to sort out. But we have finally come to what we think could be a conclusion, and it is time for everyone to hear it."

"Wait, everyone?" Alfred asked. There were certainly a lot of peoples involved.

Even so, Elizabeta nodded. "Your brother has been working hard" — she turned to Ivan— "and your sisters have been anxiously waiting to talk to you."

Ivan's eyes lit up, first in excitement, and then in apprehension. Alfred stepped a little closer to him for comfort.

Ivan brushed Alfred's arm as he faced him. They had another silent, personal exchange, but this time they did not have to use their cell phones.

Ivan: i will if you will

Alfred: i will

The starry sky hung far above them, each twinkling dot millions of light years away, but connected all the same. Chief Héderváry gestured to the back of the office, t the top-secret meeting rooms. "So, will you come with us and finish this once and for all?"

satellites - beyonce

Y'all, my life is so busy. SOOO busy. I've been reading your messages for inspiration and guidance. Have no fear, for I'm still here! 3 three chapters left. happy spooktober!