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Heavily Broken

Chapter 21

Miley's POV

My eyes sprung open and I looked around in the darkness, panting from the nightmare that I had awoken from. I tried to squirm around, but Nick's arms were secured firmly around my waist so that I couldn't move. My breathing slowed and I began to calm down; I could feel the hot tears roll my cheeks and I tried my best to wipe them away before they fell down on Nick's hands.

"Nick?" I shifted so that I could look at him. "Nick." I whispered, stroking his cheek gently. He just snuggled closer to me, tightening his grip around me. I relaxed into his arms and tried to fall asleep again, only for the scene of the night my family died replayed over and over again in my mind. Flashing scene to scene until I saw my own puddle of blood surround me as I tried to scream out for help…

"Miley... Miley!" I heard someone constantly call my name. "Miley…" They stroked my face, trying to soothe me. I was afraid to open my eyes, afraid to see who and what would be staring back at me. What if I was back in the hospital room?

I opened my eyes slowly and saw Nick staring back at me, concern and worried written all over his face. "Miles, are you okay?" He pushed the stray hairs out of my face and kissed my head lightly.

I nodded and noticed that we were still in Nick's room. He caught me looking around, "Are you sure you're okay? You seemed like you're afraid of something." He whispered and I looked at him.

"I am afraid." I gulped down the lump that was forming in my throat, making it hard or me to speak out an entire sentence. I stared at him and he stared back at me with the same intensity.

"What are you afraid of?" He asked softly.

"I'm afraid of losing you." I whimpered truthfully. "I'm afraid of losing you like I lost my family." I whispered, my cheeks flushing as I continued to gaze into his eyes lovingly.

"Oh, Miley." He breathed, cupping my face in his hands. "You'll never lose me because I'm always going to be here." He pointed down to my heart and I closed my eyes, soaking in the moment. "I love you." He told me and a smile eased onto my pained face.

"I love you too." I whispered, opening my eyes to see Nick smiling back at me. "I love you so much it hurts." I told him and he leaned in, his lips meeting mine in a passionate kiss.

We separated a few seconds later, my forehead against his as we continued to stare at each other. His chocolate eyes boring into my ocean blue ones. I could see the sun starting to rise as it shined through Nick's window, immediately lighting up the once dark room. "I should go see if my mom's up yet." He murmured against my lips and I nodded.

"I'll go see how Lily is." I half-whispered to him and got up from where I was. He latched his hand to mine and we walked out of his room, my hair messy from the tossing and turning I did last night. Nick kissed my hand and let go of my hand as we reached the guest bedroom. I kissed his cheek and creaked the door open. I didn't see Lily in the room when I walked in.

"Lily, are you in here?" I called out and continued to walk in the room. There was a note lain neatly on the made bed. I picked it up and read it over, a confused expression landing onto my face.

To Nick:

You and your mom may have forgiven me for the pain that I've caused you guys, but I just can't live with the guilt that's building up deep inside of me. I feel like no matter how many times you guys tell me its okay. It won't enough, I feel like I owe something to Joe. I don't belong to be alive while he's dead and it was my fault. Don't hate me for doing this, but I just owe this to Joe. I'll miss you and your family. Tell Miley she was a wonderful friend to me, tell Frankie that he'll always be my little munchkin, and lastly tell your mom how much I love her even through all the fights an arguments we went through. It may have been a bitter relationship, but she was still like a second mother to me. Don't forget me.

-Lily.

I stared at the neat penmanship for a while, then heard running water coming from the bathroom. I hesitated for a while, just staring at the closed door. I set the note back down on the bed and slowly walked over to the bathroom door. A cool breeze came from inside and I pushed the door open slowly, the sound of it creaking causing me to shiver a little. I glided my hand to the light switch and flicked it on, screaming at the scene in front of me.

A hand automatically covered over my mouth as I stared at a now dead Lily, lying in the bathtub, water overfilling the edge and onto the tile floor. Her head was still sunk under the water and I inched toward the tub, trying my best not to slip on the water that was splashing everywhere. I switched the water off and leaned down, trying my best to lift Lily out of the water.

The water was ice cold as I reached down and lifted her head above surface. Her skin had paled; I ran my hand over her wrist, trying to find a pulse. I prayed and hoped for a pulse, but I didn't find one. Tears filled my eyes and I struggled to lift Lily out of the water. "Lily, please. You have to be alive." I cried as I finally carried her out of the tub and onto bed.

I ran into the closet and grabbed as many spare towels as I could and ran back into the room. I dried her the best I could and continued to cry. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't.

"Miley—" I heard Nick stop mid-sentence and I looked up at him, the tears staining my face as he ran in. "What happened?!"

I stared at him, unable to speak. My hands trembled uncontrollably as I reached for the note that was lying beside an unmoving Lily. I handed it to him and he read over it quickly before crumpling it up and throwing it to the ground. His own eyes were filling with tears of his own as he hugged me tightly, both of us just standing there and crying. This was just too much for the both of to handle.

"Nick…" I looked up at him. "Are you okay?" I asked softly, wiping away his tears with my hand, not bothering about the ones dripping down my cheeks. He looked at me with sad eyes and nodded, but I didn't believe him. "Where's your mom?" I asked him.

"She's still sleeping." He mumbled.

"I need to call an ambulance." I said looking around the room for a phone; Nick handed me his cell phone and walked over to Lily, taking her hand.

"She's so cold…" He whispered as I listened to the lady on the phone tell me what to do. I just stared at Nick as he set his head down on the bed. I turned away, it was difficult having to watch him break down.

"Can you please hurry? She might have a chance at making it." I whispered into the receiver.

--

It had been 3 days since they had pronounced Lily dead before they even made it halfway to the hospital. The house had been crucially quiet ever since then. Mrs. Jonas was even more of a wreck and spent most of her time in her room, sobbing. Frankie was still oblivious to the whole situation, thinking that Lily just caught the flu and had to go to the hospital. Nick and I both didn't have the guts to tell him the truth yet. Nick spent most of his time in his room as well, just sitting at his bed or staring out the window. I'd catch him occasionally on the phone with someone for a few moments before hanging up.

I walked into Nick's room, dressed in a simple black dress that fell right before my knees. I had black heels on and my make up was lightly down. I saw him seated at his desk in a black suit. I placed a hand on his shoulder lightly, telling him that I was in the room. He looked up at me and gave me a weak smile. "You okay?" I asked as I kissed him softly on the cheek.

"I'm fine. It's my mom I'm worried about." He sighed and stood up, placing an arm around my waist as we exited his room. "I don't think she's stopped crying since what's happened with Lily." We walked through crowds of Nick's family, him stopping every once in a while to shake someone's hand or kiss someone on the cheek, them exchanging the same sad smile.

"She just needs her family around to help her through it." I whispered and took his hand again and walked towards his mom's room. We cracked the door open a little and saw her at the dresser, putting on her earrings. She turned to us and smile, a forced smile. "You look beautiful, Mrs. Jonas." I told her.

She walked over to us and embraced us in a hug. "Thank you." She kissed my cheek and let go. "Now if you can excuse me, there are a few people I need to speak to." She said shakily and walked past us, opening the door and walking out.

Nick groaned and sat down on her bed, "How are we going to get through the services?" He asked quietly.

"You're going to get through it with the support of your friends and family." I responded, massaging his shoulders softly. "You're tough; you need to be there for your mom and Frankie right now."

He sighed and closed his eyes, "I know, but I don't even know how long it will before I break down again. It's really hard, both Joe and Lily are being buried today and it's just hard. Seeing all their loved ones here." He told me.

"I know… and I'm here for you." I told him. He grabbed my hands that were still on his shoulders. He turned around and looked at me, "Are you okay? Did you ever reach your aunt?"

"Yeah, I reached her… They had the services a week after the accident." I looked down." But I'm okay as long as I know they're resting in peace, watching over me in heaven," I looked up at him with a smile. Nick stroked my cheek slightly before kissing me, his soft lips burning my cheek.

"Maybe we should go visit them." He said.

"Visit my family?" He nodded. "How?"

"Like go to see their graves after the services, if you want to…" He said unsurely when he looked at me.

"That sounds like a good idea to me." I said quietly. "Let's go find Frankie, maybe Aunt Angel found him." I said trying to lighten up the tense atmosphere.

"Well, if she did and we find them. Then, she would've found me." Nick said and I giggled.

"I'll save you two." I told him as I linked my arm through his and we opened the door, walking past groups of people chatting away amongst themselves. I spotted Frankie across the room, a video game in his hand. "He's safe." I said, then saw a really built woman approach him. "Or not…" I stared wide-eyed at the person in front of Frankie. "Is that Aunt Angel?" I asked Nick and he nodded. "I see what you mean now…"

Nick chuckled and I looked over at him, shocked. That was the first chuckle that I had heard escape his mouth in 3 days. "What?" He asked when he saw the look on my face.

"You laughed." I said, still a bit shocked. "Sorry, it just that I haven't heard you laugh for the past few days… let's go save Frankie." I babbled and pulled him toward where Frankie was seated. "Hey Frankie." I smiled and he looked up at us, relieved.

"Thank you." He mouthed and I winked at him, telling him it was no problem.

"Ah, Nick, who is this?" Aunt Angel asked and I stared astonished by her voice.

"This is Miley." Nick said simply.

"Angel." Aunt Angel stuck her hand out to me and I put mine out as well. Nick opened his mouth to say something, but it was too late. Soon, her hand was around mine, almost crushing it instantly. I bit my lip, trying to hold in my pain. She released my hand a few seconds later and I nodded at her, trying to hide in my pain.

"Uhm, we need Frankie to help us with something, right Frank?" Frankie nodded and we all walked away from their aunt. "Miles, are you okay?" He said, taking my hand to examine it.

"I'm okay." I tell him, trying to flex my fingers, but fail. "Maybe a little ice will help." I laugh nervously and he leads me into the kitchen, sitting me down on a stool as he gets some ice out of the fridge. He puts it in a plastic bag and hands it to me. I place it on my hand and sigh contently. "Thanks."

He nods and Frankie appears next to me. "Nick, why is Lily's family here?" He asked.

Nick shot me a nervous look and I turned to Frankie, "Frankie, maybe you might want to take a seat…" He sits down on the stool next to me and waits for me to continue. Nick flashes me an unsure look, but I continue anyways.

"Frankie, you know how we told you that Lily was in the hospital because she caught the flu?" He nods. "Well, she doesn't have the flu…"

"So, she's better now?" Frankie's eyes light up and my stomach does a summersault.

"No…" I drone on. "She's not here with us anymore." I said, choosing my words wisely.

"What do you mean? She left us?" Frankie asked and I nodded.

"She… died Frankie." I told him and watched as his face changed from its usual brightness to pure sadness.

"You guys lied to me." He said, jumping off of the stool. "Why did you guys lie to me?!" He asked angrily and I stood up as well.

"Frankie, we just wanted you to be happy—" I told him.

"First Joe, now Lily! God's taking everyone I love." His lip quivered and the waterworks were coming, I could tell by the look in his eyes. I quickly knelt down and put my arms out. He walked into them welcomingly.

"Frankie, Nick's still here. Your mom's still here. There's a room full of your family in there. They're all still here. Your loved ones are still here. None of them is going to be leaving you anytime soon, you have nothing to worry about." I reassured him.

"You forgot one person." He mumbled, wiping at his eyes.

"And who's that?" I asked as I helped him wipe the tears from his eyes.

"You." Nick answered for him and I looked up at Nick, then back at Frankie. He nodded and I engulfed him in a hug.

"And I won't be leaving you anytime soon either." I whispered into his ear.

"Good." Frankie whispered back into my ear and let go of me.

"Are you okay? Both of you two..." I asked the both of them.

"We have to be strong for mommy." Frankie told me and I nodded.

"Yes, I know that, but I want to know if you guys are okay…" I said again.

"I'm okay." Frankie told me.

"Same." Nick replied from the counter; I got up and held my hand out to Frankie and the other to Nick. We walked back into the living room area and spotted Mrs. Jonas standing in front of a table with Joe and Lily's pictures. She picked up one of Joe's and glided her shaky hand over the frame before setting it down. "I'll go see how she's holding up." Nick said and let go of my hand.

"I wish I could've said goodbye." Frankie whimpered from beside me.

"You still can." I told him softly and he looked up at me.

"How can I do that?" He asked and I walked him over to where two caskets were.

"You'll be able to. They always let the friends and family of the person look at the body before they bury them." I told him, trying to swallow the lump forming in my throat. Who do you want to see first?" I squeaked.

"Joe's." He replied and I led him to the open casket, standing a few feet away. He walked closer to where Joe's body laid and looked at Joe. "Hey Joe… I'm going to miss you a lot. We didn't hang out a lot, but you were still a cool big brother. I won't forget you." He said and my lips twitched into a small smile as I watched him walked over to Lily's.

I stepped forward as well and we met up. "You can go first." I told him and he nodded, looking at the overly make-uped Lily lying in the casket. She was dressed really nice too, I stared at her features as Frankie started to talk.

"Lilypad." He smiled sadly. "You're always going to be my bestest friend ever. I wish you didn't have to leave me." I noticed his voice start to crack. "Why couldn't you say goodbye to me first?" He asked sadly. "Now, I won't have a buddy to play with me on the play station or give me piggy back rides. Lily, I'm going to miss you a lot." He had started crying and I could feel tears stinging at my eyes too. "I hope that you're in a better place now, hopefully with Joe and that you guys love each other forever." He said with a smile. "I love you."

"Awe Frankie." We hugged and he tried his best to stop crying.

"I'm going to miss her." He mumbled into my shoulder.

"I know." I nodded. "I know because I'm going to miss her a lot too." I whispered.

"It's your turn." Frankie said and I nodded as I looked down at Lily again.

"Hey Lil." I smiled. "I know we just became friends, but I'm truly glad and proud to call you my best friend because you were always there for me to talk to when I needed someone and like Frankie and everyone here in this room, we're going to miss you with all of our hearts. I'm not saying what you did was a good thing, but you did it to be with your true love and I just wanted to say that I hope that you're in a better and happier place. I love you too." I said.

"That was beautiful." Someone said from behind me. I turned around and saw Mrs. Jonas there, standing next to Nick, tissues in her hand.

"May I?" She asked and I nodded, both Frankie and I moving out of her way as she approached the two bodies.

"How's she holding up?" I asked Nick.

"She's better than a week ago." He sighed. "She's been crying all night, I can tell."

"You were as well." I said and he looked at me.

"No, I haven't." He avoided my eyes and I touched his arms softly. "Okay, yes, I was." He looked at me and I gave him a warm smile.

"It's okay. I was crying too. Sometimes you just need to let it out and just cry. It helps release some stress." I told him.

"I know. I just hate admitting it." He mumbled.

--

As the huge crowd in the back yard dispersed into Nick's house again. I stood there next to him, an arm around his waist as my head lay on his shoulder. "They'll never forget you guys." I whispered.

"I know." He croaked out. "But it's just still hard to believe that they're gone." I nodded and he took my hand. "Did they bury your family here?" He asked and I nodded again as we walked out the backdoor and into the busy streets.

My stomach bubbled nervously inside as we started to approach the cemetery. I felt this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and stopped walking. "I can't do this. I want to go home now."

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted to see their graves." He said confused.

"I did, but I still can't do it. I feel bad that I'm the one who made it and they didn't I should've died, just like they did, Nick. I should've." I told him.

"No, no. Don't say that." He hugged me and I wrapped my arms around him.

"But I do…" I cried. "They should all be here, Nick, but they aren't."

"Miley… look at me." He said, bringing my face up. "It's a miracle that you're even here. You should be thankful that you're here. We can't change what happened, but we can get through this together." He kissed my softly and I nodded.

"Okay. Let's go." I said.

"Home?" Nick asked.

"No. Inside." I referred over to the entrance of the cemetery.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to. I'm trying to force you too—" I pulled on his hand and we started going towards the gate.

"Stop changing what you say." I mumbled and he chuckled, planting a small kiss on my cheek.

"Sorry." He tightened his grip on my hand as we walked in. "Do you happen to know where they might've buried them?" He asked and I shook my head. "Yeah, I think we might be here for a while."

"Or not." I whispered, stepping toward a few tombstones. "I found them." I looked over at Nick with a teary smile before turning back. I ran my hand over my parent's graves and choked back a few more tears. "God, I didn't even bring any flowers." I wiped my eyes and kneeled down.

"Do you want me to go buy some? There's a flower shop across the street and I want to give you a few minutes to yourself.." Nick said from behind me.

I nodded, "Okay." Nick gave my shoulders a little squeeze, then I was alone. I stared at the messages engraved into the stone and started to cry again. "I miss everyone so much…" Tears fell down into my open palms. I wiped my hands against my dress and just continued to stare at the stones sitting in front of me. "I don't even know what to say."

I sighed, playing with the end of my dress. "You guys will never be forgotten that's for sure." I mumbled. "I'm just going to miss the advice that you always gave me, daddy. And how you were always there for me when I needed you to be even if I was stubborn as heck. Mommy, I didn't want for you to leave me like this. I should've listened to you instead of acting like a big brat, pushing you away like I did. I never intended on doing it on purpose. I just felt like I could do everything on my own, I was stupid and I'm so sorry." I sobbed.

"Please forgive me." I whispered. "Just please forgive me. I'll learn from my mistakes." I got up shakily and walked over to Brandi, Trace, Braison, and Noah's graves. "God, how am I going to survive without you guys? Even if I did start to shun you guys out of my life. That family night out had to be one of the funnest nights of my life. Just being the family we were from the beginning and now I can't make up for the times I should've been hanging out with you guys. I'm never going to forgive myself for this…"

I heard some twigs crack from behind me and turned around quickly to see Nick holding a few dozen flowers, clearly out of breath from running. "I only had enough for this." He told me in a sad tone, still trying to regain his breath.

"Thank you." I smiled at him and took the flowers in my hands. "It's still something." I kissed him on the cheek and turned around, placing a bouquet on my parent's tombstones and a few flowers on each of the others.

"Feel any better?" Nick's arm wound around my waist as I laid my head onto his shoulder.

"A little thanks." I sniffled.

We just stood there, absorbing in the warmth from the sun as we stared down at the green grass. Truly, I was glad and filled with joy that I had met someone like Nick. No matter how much pain we would go through, we were always going to be there for each other, to pick each other up when we needed someone there. Yes, we were both utterly heavily broken, but I didn't care because I had Nick right there besides me.

a/n: I'm actually proud of how I ended it. =) My first fanfiction story is over D: but hey, there are possibilities that there will be a sequel :o maybe, maybe not, but I have a lot of stories waiting to be publishes so tune in.

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