Disclaimer: We do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.

Eddie's POV:

We had a lead, and I was going to act on it. Whether Sydney was in the vision or not, she had to be nearby. They wouldn't let her leave, right?

We got the first plane Lissa could book.

"I'm coming with you guys," Renee said.

"No, you can't," I said. "Too dangerous. You should go back to Palm Springs with Ms. Terwilliger."

"No! What if I can help? I know other spells."

I looked her up and down. She looked like she hadn't slept in days and was holding tight to the kitchen counter, as if it was the only thing keeping her upright.

Reading my mind, she said, "I can sleep in the plane. Or in the car. Please? He was screaming. I need to help him now."

"You don't even know him."

"I do though. I recognize him."

"What?"

"I don't know from where, but he looks familiar."

"Maybe you saw him at the store or something."

"Please?"

I sighed. "If Ms. Terwilliger let's you. Your her responsibility right now."

I just hoped we didn't find him and find out she was one of the girls he randomly found, hooked up with for a night, and left. That would be quite the thing to reveal after risking your life for the guy.

Zoe's POV:

Dad wasn't happy with me. He never was, but I couldn't make myself go see Sydney today. I claimed I was sick again.

"You don't look sick," he'd grumbled.

"I feel awful."

"You better not be lying to me. Especially not about this."

"I'm not. I feel nauseous" I did. At the thought of seeing Sydney screaming and crying again.

"Fine. Stay home. But you're going to work tomorrow if you're fever's a hundred a four."

I nodded and he slammed the door.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go back there. But it was still happening. And I'd have to go back tomorrow.

It was Saturday. Carly wouldn't have class, right?

I called her. Ir rang a few times and I heard her voice, "Hi, this is Carly. I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message, and I'll call you back."

Beep.

"Hey," I said. "It's Zoe. I just needed to talk to you. Call me back when you can, okay? Um, okay. Bye."

I hung up.

I'd have to take it into my own hands then. But how was I going to do that? I couldn't go in now, not after that display. I'd be punished for weeks. But what else could I do?

Then I remembered. Sydney wouldn't even be there.

And I went upstairs, pulled off my t-shirt and pj pants and dug through my drawers. I just needed something comfortable.

Carly was right. Sydney was smart. So I would let her explain.

I slipped on the first shoes I saw, a pair of flip flops that would certainly trip me up along with the too long sweat pants, and started pulling the dirty clothes out of the luggage I hadn't unpacked from the other day.

At first, I wasn't going to tell anyone I was leaving, but as I was pulling the suit case down the stairs, my cell phone rang. Carly's number.

"Hello?" I said into the mic, the phone pressed between my ear and shoulder so I could use both hands.

"Hey, sorry. My roommate was in the middle of a rant about some psych teacher I don't even have, and I couldn't check my phone. She's one of those don't-interrupt-me types."

"That's okay."

"What's up? Everything okay?"

"Um, kind of. Yeah." I got the luggage to the floor and got it to the door. "I have to fix something."

"What happened?" she sounded concerned.

"I need to help Sydney. Really help her."

"Okay... how are you going to do that?"

"She's not in the center right now. They sent her out. Only for a little while. I'm going to get her."

"Where is she?"

"Pennsylvania."

"That's a long way to go. You're going to go alone?"

"I have to. I'm going to let her explain. You're right. She's smart."

"You have to be smart too. Dad's not going to be very happy when he finds out you're gone."

I stopped, on foot on the front step. "Yeah."

A man's voice sounded in the background. "Carly..."

Carly shushed him. "Hey, Zoe. I've gotta go."

"Who's that?"

"A friend. He's going to study with me. I'll call you back, okay?"

"Okay."

The line went dead. I shoved my phone in my pocket and sat on the front steps.

Should I really go?

I remembered last night, the nightmare. Me. On that table. Tied down. Electricity through my whole body. And then watching everyone I loved, one by one, strapped to that table themselves: Sydney, Carly, Mom, Dad.

I didn't think I could scream as loud as Sydney screamed when that moroi got shocked.

She deserved an opportunity to explain, and I hadn't given it to her.

Renee's POV:

I was absolutely exhausted and fell asleep before the plane was all the way in the air.

When I woke up, it was already landing. It had only been a few hours. Eddie, the boy with the blonde hair, was lightly shaking my shoulder.

"Renee," he said, "We're landing."

I could tell from the strange feeling in my stomach that he was right.

Jill, the girl next to him, was also sleeping, and he woke her up next. I was sitting between him and the dhampir I'd met at the gate. Her name was Rose. She was wide awake and looking out her window. I'd wanted the window seat, I like to draw the scenes, but I knew I'd be fast asleep anyway, and it didn't really matter.

"Hey drooly," she said, without looking at me.

I touched the corner of my mouth. It was damp. Great.

"Sorry," I murmured.

"It's whatever."

I watched the ground get closer. "Wow, it's really pretty here."

"Is it like what you imagined?"

Eddie cut in. "Saw. Not imagined."

"Okay. Is it like what you saw?"

"Kind of. Yeah. We're not in the exact area, but those are the right types of trees. And the buildings are the right distance apart.

Then our view was blocked and we were surrounded with airport runways and plane lots. There was a plane taking off on the far side. I wondered where it was going.

The plane touched down, which made my stomach twist and finally woke the girl up. She blinked a few times and said, "Oh! I didn't think I was going to sleep."

Eddie said, "I did."

She gave him a groggy smile. "Really?"

"I knew as soon as you leaned your head on my shoulder."

She laughed quietly. "Yeah. I guess that would be a clue."

Christian, in the seat next to her's, said in a mocking voice, "Oh, just let me rest my head a while..."

I yawned, as if it as good timing, and Christian laughed at me. "Don't you start again."

"Start what?"

"You were talking a little," Rose said.

I blushed. "What did I say."

Christian did his mocking voice again. "Not scarlet... Crimson... I need the crimson primsa-whatever."

"Prismacolor?" I guessed. Crimson was my favorite one, but I didn't know I drempt about it.

I'd have to apologize to my roommate when I got back to Carlton.

We got off the plane when we were told we could. None of us had to get luggage, thank god. That would have been a nightmare. Though I'm still not sure how Eddie, Rose, and Silent-and-Well-Read guy got their stakes onto the plane... even in suit cases.

Normally, the first thing someone did when they got off a plane was go to wherever they were staying. Us? We just got a rental car, well van, piled our stuff in the trunk, and started driving.

"Are you sure you know where it is?" I asked from the back where I'd been assigned to sit. Rose had said you have to earn your right to sit in the middle. I was pretty sure that just meant she wanted to sit in the middle. That was okay though. I didn't really care.

I sat with my knees up on her seat, which she'd protested but I'd just said she could sit in the back if she wanted it to stop, and I drew.

The portrait was of the kid who sat next to me in drawing II. She was tall and elegant, and she was easy to draw. Especially since I liked picturing her when I was practicing drawing poses and especially hair. It was a cool shade of orange naturally, but she'd died the ends of certain strands electric blue or purple. Sometimes both would be on the same strand of hair and eventually fade back into the orange. She was a great colored pencil subject. And, knowing I had to leave, she'd let me snap some pictures of her on my phone. I might use them as practice later too, but she didn't know that.

Right now, the side of my right hand was coated in the blue I was adding to the orange. Bits of blue dust slid down the page and collected at the base.

"That's cool," Christian said. It caught me off guard, and I looked up. His hand was draped over the seat, Sir. Reads-a-lot was leaning into the middle isle to avoid his hand.

"Thanks."

"Who is that?"

"A girl who sits next to me in my drawing class."

He gave it a long look. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone draw like that."

"Can I see?" Jill asked from the passenger's seat.

"Um, I guess." I passed it up. She took it.

"Wow! I thought it was gonna be another pen drawing or something. This is so good! Can I look at the others."

I felt myself blushing. "I mean, if you want."

Jill flipped through some of the other pictures. Some were good, some weren't. I tried not to comment, but I couldn't help throwing in a, "That one's not my best work," or a, "God, that's old," once in a while.

"I think you'll like Adrian," she said. "You two will get along."

Christian nodded. "Yeah. Totally."

Jill handed the sketch book back, now closed. It's cover had started off blank cream color. Now, it was a test palate. There were streaks of markers, colored pencils, watercolors, acrylics, pastels... The pastels always came off on my hands when I held it. Sometimes, they would come off on my shirts, which is why I stopped wearing white. Pastels stain badly.

"Are we almost there?" Rose asked.

"Someone needs to sleep," Eddie said, "But yes. Almost."

I flipped back to the right page and started coloring again.

Sydney's POV:

All my life, I had been training to do these kinds of missions. Organize. Plan. Execute. Report. Repeat. It was a Sage specialty, passed down to me from my Dad.

I didn't want anything passed down from my Dad. But I guessed I didn't have to worry about that since I had apparently lost my talent.

"Are you listening?" said the moroi. His skin was pale, as to be expected. He was in some leg of the Ivashkov line and looked a lot like Adrian. I assumed that was intentional.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? Because I asked you a question."

"Oh. Uh, can you repeat it?"

He smiled. "Actually, I didn't ask a question. I knew you'd say that."

He was clever and filled with attitude. Also like Adrian.

"How did you know I'd say that?"

"Because your an alchemist. I've seen your kind before."

That made me curious. "How many times have you traveled with an alchemist?"

"Most times that I've traveled."

"Why? Couldn't you just bring a guardian?"

He nodded. "Well, yes. I suppose I could. But I have my reasons."

"What reasons?"

He just shook his head. "Oh, but you just wouldn't understand yet."

I frowned but didn't push it. Maybe I would understand it. I certainly wasn't the normal alchemist. But if he knew that, he might act on it. He might help me. And I couldn't let anyone do that. Adrian was waiting.

I just had to keep reminding myself. Adrian was waiting.

He's waiting for me, and I have to make a plan while I'm out and have a place to have a clear head.

Clear head?

Could Sonya reach me in a spirit dream again? Would she try?

I hoped so. There wouldn't be much time until I was back to the drugs an the dim lights.

I leaned my head on the back of the seat.

"I'm going to sleep," I said to the moroi.

He nodded into his book. "Okay. I'll wake you up when we land."

I closed my eyes.

Sonya's POV:

Slowly, I came out of the dream-like state. I reached out my arm, and there was no one there. The bed was empty aside from myself.

But that didn't make sense. Mikail and I had started sleeping together again when he realized what I was doing: avoiding him at night to save him the trouble.

"Mikail?" I murmured, my eyes still closed. He didn't answer.

Where was he? Did he leave somewhere? Did he already go to work? But he always woke me up before he went to work.

"Mikail?" I said louder. He didn't answer.

I blinked my eyes open and looked around the room. He wasn't there.

I shot up and looked around. I was alone. I was totally alone. He'd left without telling me.

"Mikail!" I called and pulled the blankets off. "Mikail!" I knew I sounded panicked. I tried to talk myself down.

I'm okay. I'm okay. He locked the door. He always locks the door.

"Mikail!' I called out even louder, hoping he was still in the apartment. "Mikail!" I sounded desperate. I felt that way, which was irrational. But I couldn't help it.

The door opened and he came in, his hair wet, a towel around his waist. "What's wrong?"

"Where were you?"

He visibly relaxed. "I just got in the shower. I couldn't hear you until I turned off the water.

I tried to swallow the sudden anxiety that came from that. What if something had happened while he was in the shower? He wouldn't be able to hear me scream. "Oh. Sorry."

He came over, sat on the bed with me, and took my hands. "It's just spirit, Sonya. You've been using way too much. Remember I'm right here. I'm right with you. I'd tell you if I was going to leave."

"I had the dream again. Maybe I should check again. Maybe I should make sure. Just one more time."

"You mean try a spirit dream again?" His lips were locked in a frown. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I haven't tried in a long time. I need to make sure."

"You tried last night."

I thought about that. "Oh yeah. I guess it was. It seems like it was longer ago."

He rubbed his thumbs over the back of my hands. "I don't think you should use any more spirit."

"But I have to."

"No, they're going to go get them. They already left."

"But what if Sydney isn't there?"

"Then we'll find her. It's okay."

I tried not to imagine what could be happening to her. I tried, I did, but all I could think about was Sydney's terrified look the first time I saw her and what would have scared Sydney that badly. Sydney was not easily phased. What kind of torture was she undergoing? I had to try.

"I have to try."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do! What if they're hurting her?" I pulled my hands away and covered my face with them. "I have to. I have to."

"Sonya," He grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands from my face. "Sonya, please. I promise it's okay. Believe me."

"No it isn't!" I yanked my hands free and held them over my face again. I curled my fingers until my fingertips touched my hairline. And my nails.

Mikail yanked my hands away from my face. "Sonya! Don't!"

"Stop!" I tried to pull my hands back again, but he wouldn't let me.

"Sonya, listen to me. Look at me!"

I shook my head, my eyes directed at my lap. "Please, please, please."

My fingers were curled already. They cried out for something to dig into, for skin -my skin- to dig into. I could imagine what it would feel like to press my fingernails into my hairline like I used to. To feel my body slacken. To have all the built up pressure -stress and fear- pour from me like popping a balloon.

He had to let me. I had to do it. I had to. "I have to. Please. Please. Please. I have to."

"I can't let you," he said. "It will hurt me too."

"But it doesn't hurt," I argued. "It feels good." It hurts a little after, but I don't tell him that.

"It hurts me."

"Why? Aren't you supposed to make me feel better? This makes me feel better."

"This isn't the way to make yourself feel good. Spirit is getting to you again."

I knew he was telling the truth, but it seemed absurd, what he was saying. "It's the only way to help."

"I don't want to make you take something. The spirit will be gone. But if you can't control yourself, I'll have to."

"No! You can't make me do that. It's not your choice. It's mine."

"Please look at me."

I look up. My vision is blurry. It takes me a second to recognize the frustrated tears that threaten to fall.

"I love you. I only want to help. But you need to listen to me. Okay?"

I nodded. "I know."

"So you can't hurt yourself. And you can't use spirit."

"But I need-"

"You don't need to use it for anything. We'll find her. She'll be with Adrian. Where else would she be? And anyway, you've tried and tried. You've used more spirit in the last month than you've used your entire life."

I felt myself nod my head, but I wasn't sure I believed I could stop.

"I'm going to let go, but you can't hurt yourself. Okay?"

"Okay."

He let go. My fingertips tingled, calling out to curl into my skin. But I held back. Barely. I curled my fingers into fists and pressed my knuckles against my legs. I ran them from my thighs to my hips. Up and down. Hard enough to cause dull pain. It wasn't satisfying.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head. If I couldn't do that, there was only one thing that could calm me down.

The tears started to fall.