A.N. I hope to continue this series throughout December and am trying to write ahead a few days to stay on top of it. Hopefully it will work out and we will have fun with it. I absolutely love reading reviews and hope you will share your impressions of the chapters with me. No flames, please. Also, I realize this is focused on Christmas rather than other holidays of the season, but that's simply how I chose to write it and if it offends you perhaps you'd be happier reading something else.
Disclaimer: I know this is legally necessary, but really… do any of us think I own these characters?
The Advent Season – December 20th
Marie woke not in her room but in the lab. Logan slumped in the chair next to her bed, his hand stretched out to hold hers even in his sleep. What she noticed most, though, was that neither of them wore gloves and yet he looked fine. She felt only a slight tingling sensation, but that was nothing unusual. She'd felt that even their first night together back in his truck when he'd tugged her hands in front of the vents to warm them. Just being near him could set off that feeling. Dr. McCoy was studying some chart on the computer screen and jotting down notes.
He looked at her over the edge of his glasses frames. "Ah, you're awake! I'm glad you slept, although I'm sure it wasn't as comfortable as your own bed would have been. I'll just check your vitals before we talk," he'd kept his voice low so as not to disturb Logan who'd been up until only two hours ago. Wolverine's constant questions and demands for information had slowed Hank's progress significantly. Once her guardian had relented enough to fall asleep, Hank had been able to move ahead much quicker.
She gently slipped her hand free of Logan's hold only to feel his fingers reach for hers and tighten around them before even opening his eyes. The claws in his other hand slid out as his arm cut through the air in Hank's direction. "Logan!"
Her gasp brought him fully awake. Looking over to see Beast baring his teeth, but stepping back from where she lay, he immediately sheathed the weapons. "Sorry, Beast. Instinct I guess."
Hank cleared his throat. "Yes, well I was about to check Rogue's vitals. If you would move back, please…" Logan slid the chair out of the way and noticed Jean and Charles coming down the silver hallway.
Once Hank had shared the results of his tests and scans Jean asked what no one had dared yet. "Logan, how often and for how long have you been touching Rogue's skin?"
Rogue, who was sitting with her legs dangling and her hand still engulfed in Logan's warm grip started to answer. "Y'all have seen us every day. We hardly ever touch without some kind of barrier and only for a few seconds at a time then."
Jean didn't spare her more than a fleeting glance. Her gaze was fixed on Logan. He rubbed the back of his neck showing his discomfort. Shooting his eyes towards Marie for a fleeting moment, he met Jean's look squarely before admitting in a firm, honest voice, "Every night. I don't really know for how long; I don't time it or anything, but for awhile."
"What are you talking about?" Marie wanted to know.
The professor was the one to pose, "And how long have you been doing this?"
"More than a year," he stated with no remorse.
Marie was fully facing him and staring openly. She totally ignored the room's other occupants, focusing all her attention on him. "Logan, what are you talking about?"
"Marie, I just checked in at night on my way to bed to make sure everything was all right. That's how it started, anyway."
"What do you mean? How what started? What is going on here that everyone here but me seems to know about?" She was getting pretty danged frustrated now. He knew it was time to come clean.
"Like I said, at first I just checked in real quick each night. We've had too many break-ins and attacks in the middle of the night for me to feel okay about security." His hand raked through his hair, making it stand on end and she knew this was big. "Well, over time I started staying a little longer and sometimes I'd touch your hand for just a minute or two." He would have chosen to have more privacy for this discussion. No sooner did the thought cross his mind than the other three went to wait in the next room where the continued going over Hank's results in more detail.
He sat next to his Marie on the clinical bed and cradled one of her hands in both of his. "Before I knew it, darlin', I couldn't sleep without making sure you were okay and having my time with you. Sometimes I just sit and watch you while I think, other times I even talk to you." He couldn't look at her as he admitted his secrets. He felt like a fool; like he was some stupid lovesick little boy or a freakish stalker or something. He could only hope she understood him in her unique way yet again.
"I know it's weird. I just… you're so damn beautiful, darlin', and I always felt so peaceful after." He finally met her eyes. "The last of the nightmares stopped. I started sleeping the night through with no problems. It was you, Marie. You're my peace."
"But what would that have to do with me healing last night?"
He hung his head, certain that this would clench it. This confession would sound the death knell on any hope he had of winning her. He might as well order his "Creepy Old Man" shirt now. A deep breath preceded the admission. "You are so perfect, so pure and lovely…" the word felt strange when he said it, but it was the best description for the woman beside him. "I held your hand, or touched your face or hair… lately I've even started kissing you goodnight. All the touching must have done something to you."
Her eyes never strayed from their study of his face, but they did grow shiny and wide. "I'm so sorry, Marie."
"Sorry for what? Sorry for caring enough to want to keep me safe? Sorry for seeing me as something worth taking time for? Or are you sorry for making me feel like somebody can see past my skin, my curse, and see a real person who wants… needs to be touched and cherished?" She reached up with tentative fingers to barely brush against the skin of his face, drawing her fingers over his features and down along his neck before wrapping them around his hand, resting the tips between his knuckles where the claws that helped make him who he was rested.
The others re-entered the room at that point, feeling the pair had had enough time to clear the air. "We have developed a theory and are in agreement, but we have a couple of final questions. Rogue, can you touch others for the same time frame with no ill effects?"
She and Logan shared a look remembering what had happened with John just yesterday. "Um, no. No, I can't."
"How can you be so sure?" Jean wanted to know.
"Well, um, I came into contact with John yesterday and the drain started pretty quickly. It didn't seem to be as strong as before, though."
Charles could tell this was an event she was uncomfortable discussing and moved on. "Hank, would you please share your findings with us?"
"Well, I would have to run some tests on Logan to be absolutely certain, but it would seem the repeated exposure to one another in incrementally increased doses has allowed his healing factor to begin compensating for the drain of your mutation, Rogue. Meanwhile, the continual doses you've had of his mutation seem to have triggered something in your own X-genes that has allowed them to begin assimilating Logan's mutations into your own."
She and Logan both sat letting it all soak in and working to absorb all this would mean. Finally she voiced a question. "So are the addition of his mutations are permanent?"
"This is new territory for all of us, too, Rogue, but since it has affected you at the cellular level I would say it is likely that the changes are in fact permanent."
She nodded slowly. She looked to Hank again, "And have I adopted all of his mutations?"
"The truth is, we simply do not know at this point. What we can safely assume is that you have his healing abilities. As to the other feral mutations of enhanced senses, predatory instincts, or some type of physical enhancement for self-defense such as Logan's claws… You would know that better than we."
"Uh-huh," was all she could come up with. Marie was still processing what this would mean to her life.
"The healing factor… how strong is it? Is she stuck not really aging at a normal rate? What about her being sick recently?"
Jean stepped in now. "Well, if you remember, I was surprised at how quickly she became well again. She was very sick and really should not have recovered as soon as she did. We believe her aging process will be significantly slowed, like yours and Sabertooth's."
Logan squeezed her hand so tightly it hurt before releasing her and striding from the room. Hell! I'm sorry, Marie… I'm so sorry. The thoughts were on a loop in his mind.
Charles interrupted their flow to inform him, Rogue is confused and uncertain right now, but she is not angry with you Logan. She needs you.
Realizing how scared and freaked out she must be, he hurried back before he'd even made it outside. Without a word to anyone else, he went directly to his Marie and pulled her into a close, comforting hug. He began murmuring in her ear. "Darlin', I am sorry. I was a selfish bastard and now I can't do anything to make it better. I can't change a damned thing about it. I really am sorry I made such a mess of things."
They never noticed the other three leaving. They paid no attention to the passing of time as they rocked in a soothing, lulling rhythm. They didn't notice when Jubilee and Pyro came to check on Rogue. All they noticed was each other. "Logan," she finally said, breaking their silent swaying. Leaning back in his arms she looked up at him with clear eyes, not a hint of tears or regret or anger… Just her same simple, open gaze. "It's a little weird and will take time to get used to, but is it really a bad thing? I mean, I can heal now. I can touch at least some mutants without risking their lives every time I do it. After all, if it works with you it ought to work with other ferals if they're given time for their mutations to adjust like yours did. I may even develop other things that will only make me safer and you've given me the chance to share your friendship for who knows how long… I'm not really seeing what's so horrible about this. I mean, if you don't want me around that long I understand…"
"That's not it! That could never be a problem, darlin'. Don't you see though?" She hadn't a clue where the real problem with all this lay. "I did this to you without you knowing, without your consent… I've changed who you are and didn't even give you the opportunity to tell me to get lost. I violated your trust."
When she giggled he was stunned. "You are so stupid sometimes!" He wasn't sure what to think of that. The only explanation she offered was brief. "Logan, you looked out for me the best way you knew, just like you always have. Of course you've changed who I am, but you started doing that just hours after we'd met. Why should that suddenly change now?" She sparkled up at him, "Believe me, my trust in you is stronger than I ever would have dreamed possible. Even though you may not believe me, especially after my meltdown the other day, the truth is that I will always believe in you, sugar. Always. Now…" she consulted her watch and bit her lip with vexation. Real regret tinged her tone as she informed him, "I promised to teach some of the older girls how to make my chocolate covered toffee. I hate to run, but if I don't get going I won't have time before a few of them have to leave for home so I've got to go."
Marie was halfway down the hall when she whirled around. "Dang! We didn't have time to do the calendar. With all this stuff happening we've been delayed again. Will you meet up with me later?"
Dumbfounded at how she was taking all these developments in stride, he only said, "Sure, Marie." How could she be so resilient?
It wasn't until after dinner that she and Logan found time to stand close together before the calendar from Kurt. He pointed to the flap, as usual. She lifted and removed the trumpet-shaped chocolate, taking the first bite before passing the rest to him. He finished it off and the consumed the bites in silence the same as they always did. But everything had changed… it was all different now. Claiming he had some paperwork to finish up, Logan fled her room.
Rogue was still sitting in bed at one in the morning. Where was he? She'd tried going to sleep, but had been too restless. Her mind was racing with the many unexpected events that had occurred. Sabe – uh, Victor appearing and the shift in her views of him, John laying a hot, wet one on her out of the blue, Jean being pregnant, her and Logan fighting, her mutation changing and Logan being able to touch her, him visiting her at night…. It was all so much to take in and process and she couldn't get the whirling memories and images, the ponderings and hopes to settle down long enough for her to relax.
Knowing what she needed, she slipped silently from bed and padded down the hall. She heard faint rustlings from behind the doors she passed, Jean snoring from the Summers' suite, and then arrived outside the door she'd been creeping towards. There was the flick of a lighter so knowing the occupant was awake, she opened the door a crack and whispered, "You decent?"
"No, but you can come on in… I'm dressed." She smiled at his joke and caught her breath as she took in the sight of his bare chest, his muscled arms and torso exposed and showing every ridge and ripple in the light of the moon streaming through the curtainless window.
"I couldn't sleep," she admitted softly, not caring how childish she may sound.
"Bad dreams?"
Marie shook her head, trying not to stare. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen him half dressed like this before. This was different, though. "You didn't say goodnight," she informed him while thinking to herself that it was all different now because she knew if she wanted to, if she thought he'd let her, she could reach out and stroke that perfect skin, feel the hairs on his arms under her fingers, even rest her face against the broad chiseled chest displayed before her, and it wouldn't kill him. It wouldn't even hurt him. "I don't think I'll sleep until you do."
He came to stand only a couple of steps away. "Marie, this probably isn't wise. It's a bad idea, darlin'."
She only stared up at him.
His hands tunneled through his dark hair. "It isn't right. I should never have done it to start with."
"Shut up," she demanded with a fierce snarl.
"What?"
"You heard me. I don't want to hear one more martyr-complex word of that crap from you, do you understand? You are really starting to burn my cookies, Bub." Marie poked him in the chest, her aggression needing an outlet. "I like that you did it. You got that? The only thing other than you whining that's ticking me off is that I didn't know, so I couldn't enjoy knowing about it sooner! Now, I am going back down that freakin' cold hallway and climbing back in my warm, soft, flannel sheets on my cushy bed and you had better be there in less than five minutes to check on me and do whatever it is you've been doing because I need some danged sleep and so do you. We aren't getting it with you doing your jackass imitation, so let's give the 'Man up and get back with the program' method a shot and see if it works." Her feet were slapping against the floor as she moved away. Logan loved the vision she made when she whipped around, her hair flaring out like a banner of silk around her. Her growl showed that at least some small amount of his other instincts must have been accepted by her mutation as well as the healing. "I mean it, sugar."
Not really believing he was letting the little southern woman boss him around like this, he actually did as she asked and came to her room a few minutes later. He sat on the edge of her bed and took her hand in his while twining his fingers in her hair and she sighed. Marie was asleep in less than a few minutes and Logan felt his own peace settling over him, soothing him, and he smiled.