A/N: I'm really sorry this took so long, but I had a ton of writers block and all that good stuff. I'm so sorry! Review anyways, though. :-D

Selected review responses:

Chinese Miko: Ooh, a Tom/Minnie? Very, very interesting. After all, he was dreamy back in the day…

I am a banana: Okay, so I had to use FreeTranslations for some of that, but it mean you (tu) are (es) great (genial) for (pour) reviewing (réexaminer'). Don't worry, my French is crap, too.

LOTZAstuffINmyHead: Okay, I get it now. Thanks for the explanation (and of course the review).

XPussyWillowKittenx: Who was she supposed to meet… um… I have no idea. How about… Mad-Eye Moody. Bit of randomness there.

Everyone who asked about the deleted scene in 'Trouble At Hogwarts': Wait 'til Voldy's Avada-ing Snape. Then, pause the thing with the square button near the bottom left and fast forward using the triangle facing the right until the green jet of light is a star, and click on the star.

Disclaimer: One of these days, I WILL own Harry Potter. Until then…

Bananas and Cream Puffs.

Lucius walked into Vile Love Dorr kitchen to find Snape sitting at the table with his eyes glazed over.

"…the hell?"

"Shut up!" Snape said. "I'm having a flashback!"

"NOT AGAIN!" Snape roared, as the person sitting next to George Weasley's cauldron exploded. "I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE SHENANIGANS!"

"Sevvy, chill out," Fred Weasley said, putting his feet up on his desk.

"DETENTION!" Snape bellowed. "FOR EVERYONE WITH THE LAST NAME WEASLEY IN THE WORLD! AND A HUNDRED POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

BOOM

"ANOTHER EXPLODING CAULDRON!" Snape screeched. "CLASS DISMISSED!"

"What's the homework?" a shy Gryffindor girl asked.

"GO SCREW YOURSELVES!"

Lucius sniggered. "I remember hearing about that. You know, I convinced Dumblebutt not to fire you after that…"

"Haha!" Lucius said, laughing and pointing at the Headmaster. "Your name is Albutt Dumblebutt!"

"Stop it!" Dumbledore sobbed, wiping his face. "That hurts my feelings!"

"Albutt! Albutt!" Lucius chanted.

"Okay! Okay! I won't fire Severus! Just stop it!"

"Good," Lucius said, adjusting the bow in his hair and prancing out of the room. "Dumblebutt."

"WAHH!"

"You know, sometimes I wish that I never had applied for that job…"

"Miss Lovegood! We are making the Luxurious Lotion, not the Lavender Pattycakes!" Snape thundered. "And put away that ridiculous magazine!"

"It's not ridiculous," Luna said, blinking at him. "It's actually quite informative. If we hadn't printed that article on Blumdicacious Snargdenhoppers, the world as we know it would have ceased to exist. Do you think you would be interested in being interviewed as a source for a newest article?"

"And what would that be?"

"Voldemort: Evil Overlord or Exceptional Octopus?"

"I read that article," Voldemort said, entering the room. "I wonder how she found out that my Patronus is an octopus?"

Bella walked in. "Can you guys believe that Goblet of Fire comes out next week?" she asked. "Have you all pre-ordered your tickets?"

Peter stared at the ground. "Maybe…"

Draco was deep in thought. "Isn't it great when people you don't know come up to you and tell you you're sexy?" he asked.

"Has that ever… happened to you?" Rabastan asked.

"Mm-hmm. I remember it like it was yesterday…"

Draco was walking inside Flourish and Blotts when a hand reached out to stop him.

"You're sexy," someone said.

"Thanks," Draco said, smoothing back his hair. "I get that a lot."

"You're probably the sexiest guy I've ever seen."

"Thanks. I'm Draco."

"Nice to meet you, Draco. I'm Tom Felton."

"Yes, sexiness is a gift," Draco sighed. "Wormtail, don't you love it when that happens?"

"Yeah, people tell me I'm sexy all the time," Wormtail squeaked.

"Hey, you! Lardface!" a big, mean seventh-year called down the hall.

Peter, a shy second year, whimpered. "W-what do you want?"

"You're the ugliest thing I've ever seen, you ugly piece of crap. Why don't you go back to your hole?"

Peter sniveled.

"Look at that. He can't even come up with a decent comment."

Peter looked up. "W-where'd you get your clothes, at the toilet store?"

The seventh-years laughed.

Peter noticed he had on the same clothes as them.

"That's… not really people calling you sexy…"

"Fine!"

"Mum! Look!" a six-year-old Percy Weasley called. "I found a rat!"

"Ew!" squealed three-year-old George. "Ew!"

One-year-old Ron hit the rat over the head with a wooden spoon.

"Mum, can I keep it?" Percy begged.

"Percy, that's the nastiest thing I've ever seen. It smells, looks horrible, and is probably rabid…"

"That's… not really complimenting you either…"

Lucius laughed. "Dude, that kid hit you on the head with a spoon!" He grabbed a utensil and smacked Peter with it. "That's fun!"

"I like to kill people," Bellatrix said mildly.

"Do you know how many different flavors of cheese there are?" Lucius asked. "There's Swiss cheese, and American cheese, and mozzarella cheese, and blue cheese…"

"I'm thinking of joining a band," Rodolphus said. "Anyone else want to join?"

"No, thanks," said Peter. "Ever since I got my head stuck in a tuba, I've never had much in music."

"Oh, well." Rodolphus said. "Maybe I'll take an acting class."

"…parmesan cheese and cottage cheese and cream cheese…"

"I'm bored," Draco said. "Someone entertain me."

"What do you want me to do?" Voldemort asked.

"Tap-dance?" Draco suggested.

"I should take a tap-dancing class!" Rodolphus exclaimed.

"…cheddar cheese and Colby cheese and gorgonzola cheese-"

"SHUT UP ABOUT CHEESE!" everyone roared.

"Sorry," Lucius said.

"You know, this chapter was about nothing," Draco stated.

"I wonder what Avada's going to name it."

"No one will review."

"I'll hurt people if they don't review- I mean, send them to Happy Fairy Land."

"Let's call it The Flashback Chapter."

"The Cheese Chapter!"

"The Randomest Chapter, Ever."

"Bananas and Cream Puffs!" Draco exclaimed.

Everyone nodded. "I like it."

Review Skit Time!

Draco:skips around handing candy to children: There you go, Bethany! Take two! Lalalala!

Lucius: Draco, what in heaven's name are you doing?

Draco: I'm a good Samaritan!

Lucius:blinks:… the hell's a Samaritan?

Draco: It means I do good things, silly.

Lucius: Have I taught you nothing? Kill children, not give them candy.

Draco: Oh yeah… No way! I'm incurably gay! And I love puppies and kitties and I donate money to the poor! Let's skip!

Lucius :sits down on a rock and sobs:

Draco: Don't worry, Dad. I have good news!

Lucius: You're straight? And you hate animals and kill poor people and loathe skipping!

Draco: No. But I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance!