Author's Note: Just realized this story has over two hundred reviews. Thanks to everyone for their support and comments! Read and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Exorcist.
Fool Exorcist
Episode 21
Secret Garden
Shiemi sat in the back of her family's store, crouched in front of the blaring TV amongst jars of crushed herbs and spices. Her eyes were wide as she took in the grisly details from the evening News, the reporter leaning forward intently to relay the facts.
"Today, there was an incident at True Cross Academy," the reporter stated. "Several of the male students were taken hostage by an unknown assailant. Later they were rescued, though the culprit has managed to escape. Here's a picture of the hostage that was most likely raped."
A picture of Konekomaru was shown for a moment.
"Oh, no!" Shiemi gasped to herself, clutching her mouth in horror. "I hope they're all okay!" She thought for a moment. "And they left Yukio for me."
"Shiemi, I'm going out!" Shiemi's mother called from the store front, easing the door open. "I left some food out in a dog-bowl in case you get hungry. And don't make a mess on the carpet!"
"Okay, mom! Bye!" Shiemi yelled back. She waited to hear the click of the closing door, then whirled around and snatched up the remote. "Alright! Time to watch Jersey Shore!" The channel switched to a drinking scene that put Rin's stupidity to shame. Shiemi cheered and began to chant aloud, pumping her fist in the air. "Chug! Chug! Chug!"
*THUMP!*
"Huh?" Shiemi turned the TV off and stood, listening hard for the strange sound again. She crept to the front door and nervously peeked out into the garden. "Ohmigosh!" There was a body laying in the grass! Shiemi scrambled out the door toward it, hurrying past the Demon-sensing gate from before. "Who are you?" She whispered quietly as she crouched next to the limp body, noticing it was female.
"Warning. Warning," the gate spoke aloud. "Demon Alert. Demon Alert."
"Oh, don't be silly!" Shiemi scoffed, gently rolling the woman over. "She's obviously human!" It was the blonde-haired woman who had attacked the boys in the dorm, Nehaus' wife! Shiemi stared at her curiously for a moment, then lowered her gaze further down to her chest. "…Mine are bigger."
"Warning. Warning," the gate said again. "You're a fucking idiot."
"These wounds are horrible," Shiemi said, inspecting the fallen woman. "I have to get you inside!" But try as she might, Shiemi didn't have enough strength to move the woman by herself. She collapsed hopelessly, gasping for breath. "Ohh, what am I going to DO?"
"Ni!" Suddenly dozens of tiny Green Men, little nature spirits made of twigs and grass, crawled out of the surrounding bushes and approached, waving their arms in the air. They crowded around Shiemi, obviously wanting to help. Shiemi gaped at the tiny men in awe, her eyes wide with wonder…as she sloooowly began reaching for the weed killer behind her.
-With Yukio-
Yukio, meanwhile, had left with the stranger last episode and thankfully hadn't been molested yet. Instead, he boarded an extravagant train and was led to one of the many carts. He entered the long room to find a solitary figure seated at a table, finishing their supper.
"Who are you?" Yukio demanded, getting straight to the point. The figure lowered their utensils and straightened, revealing themself to be an elderly man dressed in robes with a white Phantom-of-the-Opera mask obscuring his face.
"I am Ernest Frederick Aegin," the man introduced himself with a tip of the head. "It's good to finally meet you…grandson."
"G…grandson?" Yukio sputtered in shock, taking a step back. "You seriously expect me to believe-"
"Here, I brought you a lolli." The old man held up a lollipop invitingly.
"I love you grandpappy!" Yukio skipped forward and hopped onto the man's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and leaning his head on the man's shoulder. "You understand me and my moles, right?"
"Yeah, I think so." Ernest nodded. "Under this mask?" He paused for emphasis. "One HUGE mole."
Yukio gaped up at him with an expression of complete worshipfulness.
"I…LOVE you," he whispered out. Suddenly he noticed a small picture on the tabletop of a lovely young woman with long, dark hair and several facial moles. "Damn. As Rin would say, I'd tap that."
"That's your mother, Yuri."
"Well then it's obvious that I got all her good looks," Yukio corrected himself. "And moles." He frowned unhappily. "Godammit, mom."
"This may surprise you," Ernest went on as Yukio rose and took a seat opposite the man at the table, "but your principal, Sir Pheles, has been arrested by the Order of the True Cross."
"Eh, not really." Yukio answered with a shrug. "If anything I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Like around the time he watched Rin change clothes in a fucking limo."
"He what him in the WHAT?"
"In kindergarten," Yukio went on, suddenly changing subjects while gazing dreamily out the window, "we had to draw a picture of our parents. Rin drew Dad and a hooker. I just drew the HOLE IN MY HEART." He paused, brows furrowed. "…Wow, where the hell did that come from?"
"Listen, I'm sorry for abandoning you two for fifteen years," Ernest said in a gentle voice. "But I had no choice! I was confined all this time for my crimes."
"Oh God please tell me you didn't molest-"
"Oh Heaven's no." Ernest snorted in disgust. "I downloaded music illegally."
"…Ah."
"I lost everything on the Blue Night," the old man continued, leaning close. "My daughter, my position, my FACE. The Vatican had Yuri killed, the Grigori burned her as a witch! All to restore the authority of the Order of the True Cross. I had lost my will to live…my only hope…was this." Solemnly he drew a small silver locket from his robes and held it out to Yukio, popping it open for him to see. Yukio stared at its contents for several long seconds before answering.
"…There's a picture of a naked woman in there."
"What? Oh, sorry. Wrong locket." Ernest began riffling around in his many pockets, searching.
"Hold on was that SHURA-"
"Here it is!" Ernest cried. "My only hope was THIS!" He held out another locket, the contents this time an old photo of Rin and Yukio as children, Rin obliviously mining for gold in his nasal cavities whilst Yukio looked on with an expression of deepest disgust. "I couldn't care for you before, because of the Vatican, but now there is nothing to fear from the Grigori! We can all be one big happy family again!"
"Just a sec," Yukio interrupted impatiently. "Why are you only telling ME this? What about Rin-"
"Sadly, we can't take him in as well," Ernest shook his head sadly, "on account of his…condition."
"…You mean his blue flames-"
"Heck NO. I mean his complete absence of moral intelligence and general hygiene."
"…Oh." Yukio blinked. "Wait, 'take in' where? Where are we-" He broke off with a gasp as the train suddenly went dark. Passing through a tunnel, the train emerged in an enormous underground bunker, filled to the brim with stacked crates, vehicles, and numerous weapons. "Wha...what IS this place?"
"The Dragoon Laboratory," Ernest explained with pride, beaming. "A factory of anti-Demon weaponry.
"OhmiGod can I PLEASE borrow something for Rin-"
"Yukio." Ernest stood, his face suddenly serious. "Join me. For the sake of peace, as well as the future of humanity, let us start a new age." He held out a hand to his grandson, who stared back at him in awe. Yukio slowly raised a hand, reached forward, and-
Picked up a menu.
"Sooo are we gonna get something to eat or what?" Yukio asked, flipping through. "I am STARVING." He glanced up to find Ernest staring at him blankly. "What? I skipped lunch. Some appetizers? Anything? No?" Yukio frowned. "I hate you, grandpa."
-With Rin-
Rin, meanwhile, had just entered the True Cross Headquarters with Mr. Tsubaki, the two going to where Professor Nehaus was being held captive. Another Exorcist turned as they entered the vast chamber and nodded a greeting.
"How was the monastery?" He asked nonchalantly.
"A frigging MESS," Rin snorted aloud. Mr. Tsubaki glared at him.
"You created the mess."
"I helped clean it up!" Rin protested. Mr. Tsubaki's glare doubled in intensity.
"…You made it worse!"
"No-one appreciates anything I do," Rin huffed under his breath and turned to the Exorcist. "Where's Nehaus?"
"He's being interrogated in the Great Cell," the Exorcist answered, gesturing to the huge iron door behind him.
"And they didn't tell me first?" Rin gasped. "I want in on this!" He shoved past the man and bolted for the cell.
"Hey, you can't go in there!" The Exorcist turned to the other man. "Mr. Tsubaki, please-"
"Are you kidding me?" Mr. Tsubaki pushed past him as well. "I'm not missing this!"
"…This Academy has gone to shit," the Exorcist sighed hopelessly, covering his face with his hands while fighting back tears.
Inside the Great Cell, Shura was having a stare-down with Professor Nehaus, who sat across the table, staring stoically back in silence, refusing to cooperate.
"I'm going to ask one more time," she growled out. "Who was that woman who attacked Rin and the boys in the dorm?"
"Answer the question, asshole!" Rin added, shining a lamp directly into Nehaus' eye.
"Rin how the hell did you get in-"
"I'M the one asking the questions here!"
"For heaven's sake, she's my wife!" Professor Nehaus burst out, jerking away from the harsh light. "Now please stop shining that in my face. I have one good eye and I'd like to keep it."
"Your wife? What? How is that possible?" Rin leaned across the table, scowling in confusion. "How can she be your wife? Wasn't your entire family killed by Satan on the Blue Night? What color are my underpants?"
Nehaus blinked for a moment.
"Uh…white?"
"Wrong! The answer is yellow!" Rin paused. "Though they were white when I bought them."
"Rin, will you stop-"
"No! I have one more question!" Rin shoved a hand in Shura's face to silence her protests and met Nehaus' gaze steadily. "How did your wife get her awesome Spiderman super powers?"
"RIN!"
"Answer or I will be forced to have Mr. Tsubaki make out with you!" Rin warned. Behind him, Mr. Tsubaki slowly pulled out a tube of lipstick and began applying it with promise.
"And this time, it's NOT chap-stick!" He hissed out dangerously.
"Oh GOD I'll talk!" Professor Nehaus was quick to break under the pressure of the terrifying threat and began speaking as fast as he could. "Yes, my wife was dead! Satan killed her on the Blue Night! However, she was quickened! It's a technique that brings the dead back to life!"
"So you DID work at that lab we found through the portal!" Shura cried triumphantly. "You used that forbidden technology and resurrected your dead wife!"
"Wait a minute. So you used a forbidden technique…to bring back your dead wife." Rin gaped at the man in horror, eyes wide and bloodshot. "Oh my GOD we've got some Fullmetal Alchemist shit going on up in here!" He seized Nehaus by the collar and hauled him close. "Now listen, man, the first rule of Alchemy is that in order to gain something, something of equal value must be-"
"Shut up, Rin!" Shura snapped.
"Equivalent exchange, bitch!"
"No, it wasn't me!" Nehaus protested, pulling out of Rin's grasp. "Yes, I preserved her body, but I didn't resurrect her! If you cross that line, the Gates of Heaven will close forever-"
"Not to mention the Truth will charge an ARM and a LEG-"
"Rin, I will stick you in the Iron Maiden if I have to." Shura stated flatly.
"IT WAS FUNNY!"
"I DON'T CARE! No more Fullmetal Alchemist references for the rest of the episode, okay?" Shura rolled her eyes and sighed before turning back to Nehaus. "So, if you didn't resurrect your wife, then who did?"
"I don't know," Nehaus sighed, sitting back in his seat and running a hand through his hair. "One day, I returned to the lab to find my wife, Michelle's, hibernation chamber open, and she was alive! So I-"
"Hold up." Rin suddenly interrupted, scowling across the table at the man. "You mean all this time you've been CHEATING on YUKIO?"
"Rin-"
"And to think I supported you two! Well now you're on your own, mister!"
"RIN! NO MORE NEHAUS-YUKIO REFERENCES EITHER!" Shura exploded. "Now sit down and listen to this man's incredibly boring story!" She gestured to Nehaus, who frowned at her. "Please, continue."
"…I soon realized that a Demon had possessed my wife's body," Nehaus went on after a moment. "But I just couldn't find it in myself to finish her off. Some time later, a team of Exorcists came and attempted to arrest us, setting the laboratory on fire. We managed to escape and used the portal key to flee to Japan. But now, slowly but surely, Michelle has been changing, and-"
Rin and Shura were passed out on the ground, rendered unconscious by the extreme boredom of the man's tale. Hell, I had a hard time just writing it!
"AND NOW SHE LIVES TO KILL SATAN AND ALL THOSE CONNECTED WITH HIM THE END I'M DONE."
"Whu? Oh. Right." Rin snorted awake and quickly sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "So…lemme get this straight. Your wife shoots silk from her ASS?"
"…Have you even been LISTENING-"
"I tried not to. It was REALLY boring."
"Michelle doesn't have any time left!" Nehaus cried. "Don't you understand? She's a re-animated corpse! Very soon now, she'll start to rot, and then it'll all be over!"
"What?" Rin gasped. "Damn! That means I have to hurry!" He turned and dashed for the exit, Shura hot on his heels as they left the Great Cell.
"Rin! Where are you going?" She demanded.
"Can't you see?" Rin shot back at her without slowing. "I'm going to find Nehaus's wife!"
"Oh, Rin…" Shura stopped in her tracks, blinking back tears as she was moved by Rin's kindness. "That's so-"
"I GOTTA get her to bite me before she dies so I can become Spiderman too!"
"…incredibly stupid of you." Shura finished. "I really should have seen that coming. But anyway, how will you even FIND her? You have no idea where to look!"
Rin stopped in his tracks and stared back at her blankly for a long moment.
"…You ruin everything," he stated matter-of-factly.
"I'm just pointing out-"
"Except your rockin' tits. Those really brighten my day-"
"OKAY JUST GO." Shura shoved the boy out the door and sighed dismally. "Well I just got my birth control for the year."
As Rin stumbled out the door and onto the open lawn of the True Cross Academy grounds, his phone suddenly trilled. Stopping to catch his balance, he flipped it open and answered.
"S'up?"
"Rin?" Shiemi asked in a serious tone. "I NEED you. RIGHT NOW."
There was a long, drawn-out pause from the other end.
"…Is this a booty call?"
"What? No, Rin! Just…get over here!"
"Hang on, bitch! I'm on my way!" Rin paused again. "Seriously though you can tell me if this is-"
Shiemi hung up on him.
-Elsewhere…-
Michelle, Nehaus' wife, was slowly awakening. Squinting her eyes sleepily, she sat up to find herself lying in the nimbus of an enormous flower. Surrounding her was a flourishing garden with sweet-smelling flowers, tall trees and bushes. She gasped at the ethereal beauty of the place, inhaling the heady scent in the air. As she watched, a number of Green Men appeared from the undergrowth and began to crowd around her curiously.
"…Okay, is this Avatar, or did I take the best shit in the world?" She mumbled to herself. She looked up to find an enormous tree-spirit thing leaning over her and grinning. "Yeah. Yeah I took some good shit." Michelle sat back and absorbed the wonder of the place, the peace, the serenity-
*BRRRRRRRRRRRR!*
Shiemi suddenly walked past with a roaring weed-whacker, mowing down the Green Men and decapitating patches of flowers. She noticed Michelle gaping at her in horror and stopped.
"Oh! You're awake!" Shiemi switched off the machine and removed her gore-spattered goggles. "Sorry, the hedges needed trimming and-"
"I am SO going to die down here," Michelle realized, and tried to bolt for the exit. She immediately winced in pain and fell back down.
"Be careful! You're hurt! You shouldn't move!" Shiemi warned, hurrying to her side.
"Where…AM I?" Michelle managed to get out, watching warily as Shiemi sat beside her.
"You collapsed in the garden outside, and these little guys helped me move you down here!" Shiemi gestured to the waving Green Men. "Well, part of the way, then I tossed you down the stairs the rest of it, which is how you got your injuries."
"…Wait, what?"
Shiemi held up a first-aid kit, leaned close, and…placed her hands on the woman's chest.
"…Yup, mine are definitely bigger."
"Wait, WHAT?"
-Upstairs-
Rin, meanwhile, had just arrived on the premises. He cracked open the front door of the shop and peeked inside.
"Hello?" He called into the darkness. "Shiemi? You in here?" He paused, waiting for an answer. "I took my underwear off, just in case. Hurts my balls a little. Shiemi?" Again, no answer. "…Is this like sex hide-and-seek or something?"
"Ni!"
"Huh?" Rin turned to find Ni-chan standing with him on the porch, waving a tiny arm imploringly. "Oh, you'll show me the way? Thanks!" Rin's smile quickly turned into a concerned frown. "Wait, what are you, her pimp?" Ni-chan ignored the comment and led Rin to a side building, inside which was a flight of stairs. As Ni-chan hopped down into the darkness, Rin paused, sniffing the air.
"Ppphaaaugh! What DIED in here?" Rin gagged, then froze. "…Wait a second. SHIEMI!"
-Back Downstairs Again!-
Shiemi sat next to Michelle, actually treating the woman's wounds this time. As she wrapped her arm with bandages, Shiemi chattered away.
"This is the secret garden of my grandmother. She always told me that if we just listened to what the plants had to say, they'd bloom beautifully. And it's true! Just look at this place!" She finished affixing the bandage and beamed at Michelle, her face shining with love and rainbows. Michelle smiled weakly back.
"Hmm…maybe I judged her too fast," she thought to herself.
"It's getting a little chilly in here, isn't it?" Shiemi asked suddenly. "Hold on. I'll get some more firewood!" She stood, hefted an axe, and hacked the tree-spirit to pieces as it screamed and writhed in agony. "Thanks!" She said, then tossed the logs onto the nearby fire. "Mmm, nice and toasty!" She sat back down and smiled innocently at Michelle. "Now where was I?"
"The part where I get the fuck outta here," Michelle stated, searching desperately for the exit.
"What?"
"Oh, uh…this place," Michelle stammered, backing away, "it's…uh…like the Garden of Amahara!"
"Really?" Shiemi gasped aloud. She lunged for the woman, holding her hands tight in a bone-shattering grip. "Will you be my friend?" She begged, eyes wide and pleading. "This is the first time I've met someone who knew about the Garden of Amahara!"
"Uhhh…" Michelle gulped, trying to think of a response that wouldn't get her chopped up like the tree. "Listen honey, you're sweet and all, but your intensity is a little… disturbing."
"What intensity?" Shiemi frowned in confusion. "Anyway, since we're besties, would you mind if I got a tattoo of your face on my right thigh?"
"Aaand that's exactly what I'm talking about."
"I FOUND YOU, YOU EVIL BITCH!" Rin roared, tumbling down the stairs into the basement-garden.
"Oh thank GOD." Michelle sagged with relief. "Help me! HELP ME!"
"Shiemi! Are you hurt? Did she touch you?" Rin asked desperately, then blinked. "Please tell me she did."
"…Okay nevermind I'm not safe with you either." As Rin approached the pair, Michelle snatched the scissors from the First-Aid kit and held it to Shiemi's throat, clutching her close.
"Stop!" She cried in warning. "Don't come any closer!"
"Or…what?" Rin asked after a tense moment.
"Or…or…I'll cut her hair!"
"Oh please!" Rin snorted, rolling his eyes. "She's already got a BOWL-cut, for goodness sakes. You can't do anything WORSE-"
"Hey!" Shiemi snapped in outrage. "Screw you, I like my hair!"
"Aaaand that's why you're a nerd."
"ExCUSE me!" Michelle interrupted hotly. "I'm the one with the scissors here!"
"Yeah, while you got 'em, why not use them to trim that stupid fringe covering your eye! How can you even see?" Rin scoffed, gesturing at Michelle's questionable hairstyle. "And while you're at it, I got some split ends-"
"Satan took everything from me!" Michelle shrieked in anger. "DIE!" She rose to attack Rin, couldn't see anything because of her stupid fringe covering one eye, ran into a tree, and fell down unconscious.
"TOLD you," Rin stated, then drew Kurikara and stepped forward to finish her off.
"NO!" Shiemi stepped in the way, arms spread wide to protect Michelle's fallen form. "Stop it! Don't touch her! She's my best friend since FOREVER-"
"You just met her an HOUR ago!"
"YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR FRIENDSHIP!"
"Shiemi," Rin began in a calm voice, "she's an undead zombie seeking revenge."
"I'm not going to judge her!" Shiemi protested.
"She attacked the boys at the dorm!"
"I'm sure she had a good reason-"
"Including Yukio."
"WHAT?" Shiemi whirled around, heaving up Michelle's limp body and shaking her furiously. "Is that true? How could you DO this to us? I thought what we had was SPECIAL!" She paused, sniffling. "…What was your name again?"
"GAWD, Shiemi, just step aside and-"
"No! Look!" Shiemi gestured to the ground, where several Green Men were gathered around Michelle's form. "The Green Men wouldn't help her if she was a bad person…right?"
"Uh, they help YOU and you're borderline psychotic," Rin pointed out.
"Say that again and I will turned you into COMPOST!" Shiemi roared, then blinked, surprised at her own fury. "…Wow, maybe I do need help."
"Yes. Yes you do." Rin sighed and returned his sword to its sheath, dousing his flames. "Okay, enough of this. We got her. She's Professor Nehaus' wife."
"Say WHAT?" Shiemi goggled. "How the hell did that cyclops bag a hottie like her?" Rin stared at her blankly. "…I'm just wondering."
Rin rolled his eyes and retreated back upstairs, pulling out his cell-phone and dialing. Stepping out into the outdoor garden, he ignored the light mist of rain falling from the clouds above and crouched down as the other line picked up, Shura answering.
"Hello? Rin? Where are you?" She asked.
"Hey, I found her."
"You found Michelle?"
"No. Angel. He's standing right in front of me." Angel stood before the boy with a small team of Exorcists, glaring down at Rin dangerously from beneath his sparkly pink umbrella. "Looking at me with those beady eyes." Rin paused. "I think he's wearing mascara." He paused again. "…I gotta go."
"What a beautiful garden," Angel remarked nonchalantly as Rin hung up the phone and stood to face him. "This beauty doesn't befit a Demon. In fact, it- OH GOD is that COW MANURE on my new boots? SHIT! This garden is DISGUSTING!" Rin threw his head back and laughed, eliciting yet another death-glare from the disgruntled girly-man. "Alright that's it. Hold my umbrella while I kick his ass- HOLD MY UMBRELLA."
"Well," Rin thought several seconds later, his face firmly planted in the loamy dirt of the garden, Angel's boot upon the back of his head, "hopefully Shiemi will be smart enough to run-"
"Hi, Rin!" Shiemi chirruped, standing next to him in the custody of an Exorcist.
"Oh Godammit!"
"Ohmigosh RIN!" Shiemi gasped in outrage at the sight of him on the ground.
"Shiemi, it's okay, I'm not hur-"
"You're ruining my begonias!"
"…Okay, screw you, whore." Rin paused. "And you too, Shiemi."
"Hmph! Haters gonna hate." Angel tossed his head and sauntered over to Michelle, who was trapped in the grip of several other Exorcists. "Found you at last! You Demon with a human face…reviving the dead is the greatest taboo of- oh who DOES your hair?" He paused to seize a lock in his hand and admire its shine. "It's gorgeous! Like spun gold with sunshine high-lights-"
"Piss off, you raging 'mo," Michelle spat at him.
"I'm not gay!" Angel shrieked at her, raising his large sword. "I'm just METRO!" The sword swung down, Michelle closing her eyes and awaiting the finishing blow.
"STOP!" Nehaus was suddenly there, shoving Angel back and protecting his wife with his body. "Let her go, I beg of you! Kill me instead!"
"Oh GOD your hair is horrible," Angel sneered in disgust, then threw him aside to attack Michelle once again. This time Rin stepped in, blade drawn, the Paladin and Demon facing off for battle. "Why?" Angel hissed, glaring into Rin's burning eyes. "Why do you protect-"
"Superpowers."
"…What?"
"Find your own, bitch!"
And the fight was on. The two leapt about the garden, exchanging blows and insults, cutting down trees and destroying hedges, all while Shiemi watched in mounting horror.
"Please don't hit-"
*CRASH!*
"Watch out for my-"
*SMASH!*
"Be careful around-"
*THWACK!*
"Okay fuck you BOTH!" Shiemi hollered, throwing her arms in the air.
"Rin, stop!" Shura appeared beside Rin, blocking his next attack and holding him back. Rin sputtered in protest, trying to pull free.
"Shura, what the hell, I was getting my groove on-"
"Just stop, Rin!" Shura stood her ground. "What do you think will happen if you lose control of your flames? Do you want everyone here to die?"
"They're just random NPC's!" Rin argued. "Nobody cares! They don't even have NAMES!"
"Yes we do!" A random Exorcist called from the crowd with an outraged expression. "Mine is Fred Fredfurger!" There was a short pause. "…I didn't say it was a good one."
"Dear God I think I want to kill you even more now," Rin stated.
*BLAM!* Suddenly a shot rang out through the garden, someone having fired upon them. Rin winced, fearing the worst…but the bullet had found another.
"Ugh!" Michelle staggered back, having inexplicably appeared behind Rin and taken the bullet meant for him.
"Oh thank God- I MEAN HOW HORRIBLE." Rin quickly wiped the look of relief from his face and replaced it with an expression of malady and woe.
"Michelle! NO!" Nehaus cried in despair, running to his wife's side.
"Yes, THAT was her name!" Shiemi said, snapping her fingers. "MICHELLE, NOOOOO!"
"DAMMIT!" Rin screamed with rage, rounding on the crowd of Exorcists and storming toward them. "Who did it? Who shot her? Who ruined my dream of being Spider-Man? Get over here, NOW! I'm cuttin' your DICK off!" He paused, considering. "Unless you're a girl then I'll just give you a stern talking to."
"Darling…" Michelle smiled weakly up at Nehaus as he crouched beside her, taking her dying/already-dead body in his arms. "Let's find…a nice, peaceful place to live…somewhere like…the Amahara Garden…"
"…Michelle…" Nehaus choked on his words, fighting back tears. "…I was thinking more Las Vegas."
"God, even when we're dying we fight!" Michelle wailed as Nehaus stood, cradling her in his arms. The two held each other tight as huge roots suddenly blanketed them, summoned from the army of tiny Green Men surrounding the pair. In a matter of seconds, the pair was covered in a sphere of vines, roots, and flowers. Silence fell over the garden as everyone gazed at the ball and felt a profound sense of loss.
"…Well that shut 'em up."
"RIN!"
"I'm not the only one thinking it!"
"Oy." Shura sighed and rubbed her temples. "Way to ruin the moment."
"Dammit, I got grass-stains!" Angel suddenly cried, inspecting his ruined trousers. "These were brand new! That's it! I can't be expected to execute anyone like this! We're leaving!"
As he and the team of Exorcists retreated in a huff, the sprinkling rain disappeared, the moody clouds opening to reveal shafts of warm sunlight. In the distance, bells could be heard, tolling deep.
"What's that for?" Rin asked, cocking his head to listen.
"It's an urgent summons from the Vatican," Shura explained.
"Uh-oh." Rin gave her a look. "Seems like your secret of being a MAN got out-"
Shura slugged him in the gut and stormed off. Groaning in pain, Rin dragged himself over to Shiemi, who was still gazing at the great sphere of roots and flowers that rested in the center of the garden.
"…Is that gonna be okay?" Rin asked, nodding toward it.
"Yes." Shiemi smiled softly. "It just needs some trimming is all." So saying, she pulled out a large pair of shears and began pruning the edges.
"I don't know HOW I'm going to break this to Yukio," Rin sighed deeply, turning to leave. Shiemi immediately caught his wrist and glared.
"Where do you think YOU'RE going?" She demanded, pointing at the ruined hedges and smashed flowers. "Grab a hoe and get to work."
"I can't, Shura already left-"
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, ASSHOLE."
"Yes, ma'am."
-Later-
"Arthur Auguste Angel reporting in." Angel knelt on the stone floor of the darkened courtroom, awaiting the orders of the Grigori. Having been unable to save his precious trousers, he was in a bit of a foul mood, not to mention he actually found a white hair while brushing today. He blamed it on Rin. As a matter of fact, everything was his fault, the annoying little shit-
"Good work, Paladin," a deep voice intoned from above. Angel frowned and glanced up, confused to find a single figure standing upon the raised platform.
"…Where are the Grigori?" He asked cautiously.
"They were…dismissed," the figure answered indifferently. Angel gasped.
"But…but they're the highest form of authority in the Order of the True Cross! Not to mention they always gave me such good critiques on my clothes and shoes, helped me match my colors-"
"As of today," the man interrupted, slowly turning to reveal himself to be the masked man on the train, "I, Ernest Frederick Aegin, shall take over their duties." His eyes narrowed as he studied Angel critically. "…And by all accounts, your clothes are last season, your hair is frizzy, and your belt does NOT match your boots."
Angel threw his head back and wailed in despair.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-Episode 21 End-
Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Exorcist.
Author's Note: I'm gettin' there! Just a few more to go! Review, please!