Memory's Shadow
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To Owe
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A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long update! My friend introduced me to an awesome book and now I'm addicting. Lol. So, it's a series, meaning it takes awhile and I haven't even touched the computer for three days. Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful reviews, like always. But, unfortunately, I wouldn't be making such fast updates in the middle of the week anymore. Once again, I have school. sigh. I hate it sooo much. I only got a weeks worth of holidays! (T.T) But anyway, here's the 21st chapter! It's pretty special, I'll warn you that! ;D
Dialogue:
Ano/eto - Um
Ne - Right
Taiyoukai - A higher form of demon
Arigatou - Thank you
Miko - Priestess
Inu - Dog
Hanyou - Half-breed
Youki - Demonic power
Iie - No
Mochiron - Of course
Tajiya - Demon Slayer
Kitsune - Fox
Demo - But
Youkai - Demon
Ja mata - See you later
Gomen - Sorry
Ja - See you
--x--x--x--x--x--
'What is so very hard to gain but so very easy to lose?
It's trust, my friend, trust
Value trust and honour it as it is a precious prize
For if it is lost, the trust will be even harder to gain once more.'
--x--x--x--x--x--
"So --… was protecting --!"
"Then it would seem that this woman truly is… the -- who followed you to her death, eh…?"
"Where the hell was Kagome for those damn two months after she died?"
Good question. Very good question. Where have I been for two whole months? Two months is a pretty long time. Two months equaled eight weeks. Eight weeks equaled fifty-six days. And fifty-six days is a lot of time to spend no where. I couldn't have been underground for two months. I would've decayed or actually died from starvation or something.
"That's a good question, Inuyasha." Miroku mused, staring at me intently. "She couldn't have been underground for two months. She wouldn't be here if she did." It was as if he had read my thoughts out loud. "Naraku could have stolen her body but for what purpose, I ask? And, how was he able to do that right under our noses?"
"Well, he is Naraku. He's capable of anything. Even bringing someone back from the dead." Sango mumbled loud enough for all to hear. "He could've brought her back to life without any injuries and such by using a jewel shard." She said. "My brother was killed by a weapon but the shard seemed to have healed all trace of it."
"True, but she does not possess a shard." Miroku stated. "Do you?" he asked me.
I looked around, looking down onto my stomach. "Ano, I don't think so." I answered quietly. "I'm not quite sure though since I can't see my back."
"But you have seen your reflection, yes?" Miroku suggested. "Did you see or sense a jewel shard then?" I shook my head as a reply. "Very well. She does not seem to possess a shard."
"Then maybe a witch brought her back to life, just like an ogress brought Kikyo back to life?" Sango suggested another route.
Inuyasha snorted. "Yeah. As if." He mumbled. "She doesn't smell of bones and clay. She smells… normal." He answered bluntly.
"Then that possibility is wiped out." Miroku stated thoughtfully. "How else would Naraku bring someone back from the dead?"
"Perhaps she wasn't dead when you thought her to be, monk." Sesshomaru said, bored, speaking for the first time since the question was asked. Though, his words were somewhat suggesting something. I didn't know what.
"Are you saying that we buried our friend alive?" Sango suddenly yelled, outraged.
Sesshomaru gave her a glare. "Indeed, human, I do." He stated coldly. "Although, it is unlikely that you missed her pulse. It is also quite impossible that you didn't confirm she was actually dead, seeing as you care for her so." He was actually thinking about this. Wow. For me?
"Ah, I get what you're saying, Sesshomaru-sama." Miroku said slowly. "You're suggesting that Naraku had somehow tricked us into believing that Kagome was dead, just so we could bury her and have him kidnap her? It seems to go in circles, if I may comment, Sesshomaru-sama. Why would Naraku want to go through so much trouble just to kidnap Kagome-sama?"
"You're forgetting, monk, that Naraku is a sadistic bastard." Inuyasha growled. "It doesn't matter how long it takes. As long as the ending result is to his satisfaction. Hell, he took a long time just to make his grand appearance after fifty years when he was first created. He believes he has all the time in the world." He snarled.
"True, true," Miroku agreed full-heartily. "But again, why would Naraku go through all the trouble? He had kidnapped her once, intent on using her sight to his advantage, but Kagome-sama's will was stronger than his hold on her, even with the shards. Surely, he must have given up by now."
Again, my eyes widened with surprise. He had tried to control me? Well, I didn't foresee that. "But Naraku is persistent, I'll give him that." Sango grounded out. "He'll stop at nothing. Just like he stopped at nothing to regain a new body."
A new body. Great. So they had managed to destroy his body once but he has somehow made himself a new one? How the heck was that possible? Man, I must have lived quite a life, ne? "The question's still in hand. How do we find out where Kagome-sama was for those two months? Do we just walk up to Naraku's castle and ask?" this came from Miroku, suggesting dryly.
Inuyasha suddenly stood up. "We're getting no where fast." He growled. "I say we just head over to Naraku and force some damnable answers out of him. I can't wait to drive my sword into his flesh." He snarled. I saw the rage in his eyes. I realized then that Inuyasha was so full of anger. So full of hate. It hurt me just to look in those raging eyes.
"Wait." I said quietly, drawing everyone's attention with my suddenly small voice. "It's past afternoon. And you've traveled rather far. Would you like to… if Sesshomaru agrees… stay for the night?" I offered hesitantly. I could feel the glare coming off from a certain taiyoukai. I crossed my fingers behind my back. "Will that be all right, Sesshomaru?" I asked meekly yet still looking at him in the eye. I was so certain that he'd say no. I was pushing my luck, wasn't I?
Silence came over us as Sesshomaru contemplated about his answer. That was a slightly good sign. He was thinking about it. It was better than a flat out 'no, stupid human', I guess. "One night." He finally said. "But that is all. Once they set foot out of my castle, I will no longer hesitate to attack if they once again enter my home."
I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding and smiled brightly at Sesshomaru. Darn it, I was so darn happy! I can't believe that Sesshomaru actually agreed to that! I'll give him a hug later. I know he didn't want to be embarrassed in front of guests. "Arigatou, Sesshomaru!" I thanked sincerely, my bright smile on my face. "You have no idea how much this means to me!" I was so glad that he said yes, I bet I was practically shining like a star.
He only stared at me for awhile before he nodded stiffly. "Do not get use to this, miko." He warned lowly. "This unusual trend of generosity will come to pass, I can assure you." His voice held a warning but also an edge. I wasn't effected at all though. I only continued to smile. A slight frown marred his features. "I too suggest that you stop grinning like a--"
"Sesshomaru, where the blast are you?" a grouchy voice was heard from outside the room. The door swished open suddenly, revealing an aged yet fit taiyoukai. Her eyes widened slightly at the number of people in the room. "My, I didn't know we had guests." She said in a softer tone as she smiled kindly at them. I had feeling, though, that she knew they were here. After all, an inu-taiyoukai's nose is quite sharp. Her eyes landed on her other nephew and they widened just a little more. "Well, well, today is full of surprises." She grinned. "What brings you here, nephew?" she asked casually.
Inuyasha stared at his aunt with large eyes. "Nephew?" he echoed. "Who the hell are you? I don't have an aunt!" he said defiantly, glaring at the older woman with silver hair and golden eyes, eyes lighter than both Sesshomaru's and Inuyasha's.
She feigned a hurt expression. "Inuyasha, nephew, how could you not remember your own aunt?" she whispered. She was an amazing actor. "But then again." she added, looking thoughtful. "We're not blood-related. And I've only seen you once in my life and that was when you were just a pup." She smirked. "My, how big you've grown. Those ears haven't though, I see." she said with a click of her tongue. "Odd. They were huge when you were a pup. Now, they look as if they've shrunk…"
I giggled at the back of my hand as Miroku and Sango held back a laugh. Shippo didn't have that courtesy as he openly laughed at the hanyou. Inuyasha had gone red in the face. "You old bat!" he yelled, outraged. "Who do you think you are, claiming that you're my aunt when I haven't even met you before? Let alone blood-related! And now you're mocking me with the comment about my--"
"Inuyasha." Sesshomaru's cold, dagger-like voice stopped us from our amusement. All eyes turned to him. "Have respect for the elderly in our family. It is not wise to raise your voice in her presence." He spoke in an even tone.
"Elderly?" Takara scoffed. "I believe not! I'm still fit to take on you boys with one hand behind my back." She said confidently, but not arrogantly. She could never be arrogant. "Anyhow, family greetings aside, Sesshomaru, I need to ask you a question." she said seriously. The tenseness in the air was almost static. She looked grave, her smile completely gone from her face. I felt a shiver run down my back. Something was wrong. "Have you any idea where the radish I stored are?" she asked, suddenly innocent. "I've looked everywhere for them. They've seem to gone missing."
An anime vein seemed to have popped out of Inuyasha's head. "Radish?" he yelled in disbelief. "If you're going to ask something so simple, don't make it sound so damn dramatic!" he growled irritatingly.
"Inuyasha, cease your tongue." Sesshomaru demanded. But, as I looked at him, I could see passed his expressionless face and see the annoyance in his eyes. Heh… He turned to his aunt. "No, aunt, I do not hold any knowledge about where the radish have been moved." Even if it was Sesshomaru who said it, I couldn't help but stifle a giggle. The way he worded it… There was something funny about it since I suddenly pictured elves and mushrooms. He turned to me, noticing my attempt to hold back my laughs. "Find something amusing, miko?" he asked, his expression cold. But even I saw the curiosity in his eyes, along with growing annoyance.
I waved him off with a hand. Sesshomaru did look kind of like an elf. With the pointy ears and everything. Although, he definitely was not short. "Forget it." I told him. I really didn't want to tell him what I had recently thought.
He quirked an eyebrow but said nothing more. He turned back to his aunt, as if the rest of us were invisible. "Your timing is rather questionable, I must admit." He said, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Surely you had sensed the presence of other company."
Takara looked innocently at him. "I didn't notice them at all, nephew." She said kindly. "Now, being as you have no idea where the radish are, I'll be on my way." she nodded at each of us. Then, when she saw Inuyasha again, she reached out and patted his ears. "Hm. They're not quite as soft as I remembered them. Have you been mistreating your ears, nephew?" she asked in an accusing tone.
Again, Inuyasha turned a bright red. "You old bag! So what if you're my aunt? You can't talk about my ears like that!" for some reason, I got the feeling that he took pride in his ears. Odd fellow.
The older demon ignored him. "By the way." she started. "I have already thought up rooms you may use to spend the night. It will be a pleasure to have such company at dinner. I'm sorry if introductions are a little delayed though. I am quite busy." Then, she turned to leave.
"Halt, aunt." Sesshomaru demanded. Takara didn't have enough time to slam the door close. "You've been listening?" he asked calmly, although there was now a small spark in the air. And it wasn't static. It was an actual spark with his youki. Eep.
Takara turned and looked at him incredulously. "Surely you will not let these guests go after such a long travel." She said, successfully explaining without exposing her lie. Wow. I need to take some lessons from her.
Sesshomaru let a barely audible sigh to escape his lips. I knew I was the only one who heard it since I was the only one close enough, even with my 'inferior' hearing. "Leave." He said bluntly. "Order some servants to send our… guests." He hesitated. "To their designated rooms."
Takara nodded, smiled and waved, before she successfully escaped Sesshomaru. For now, anyway. "Wow, Inuyasha, I didn't know you had an aunt." Shippo piped up. "But she was cool! I like her." he grinned, completely forgetting about being angry with the hanyou (with the incident and all).
Said hanyou folded his arms. "Feh." He replied normally. No sooner did he say that did the doors open again to reveal Takkako, Aaya and Sekiko, in a perfect line and grinning kindly, in that order. The clothes they were wearing, they seemed like maids but they all looked so pretty. And yet, as they stood there like the three musketeers, why did I suddenly think they were from a shoujo manga?
"Good evening, young masters and mistress." They bowed lowly then straightened up again. "We'll direct you to your rooms, if you please." Aaya said sweetly. I sweat dropped. All three of them were wearing the exact same smile. What a set up.
We all stood up, Miroku, Sango, Inuyasha and Shippo staring at the three servants oddly. "Who goes with who?" Sango asked. I could see her glaring at Miroku as he stared openly, drool starting to form. I glared at the back of his head. If he touches Sekiko… No. He wouldn't. She was way to young… Well, at least, she looked young. I had no idea how old she actually was.
Aaya stepped up and offered her arm. "Come, mistress, I will show you to your room." she said kindly, in a formal way. "I believe you and the monk would like to share the same--"
"Iie!" Sango immediately protested, knowing the question before it had even finished. She turned a nice shade of pink. "We're not like that. Is it possible to have separate rooms?" she asked desperately. Poor Sango. I knew she liked Miroku more than a friend. It was so obvious. Even now.
"Mochiron, Mistress." Aaya grinned. Then, she led the rather still pink tajiya out of the room. Oddly enough, the cat, Kirara, followed her out.
Sekiko took Miroku. "Come on, monk-sama!" she said childishly. Miroku looked a little disappointed that he didn't get to have one of the grown maids but he accepted her assistance with a smile.
"Arigatou." He said politely. I was already behind him, cracking my knuckles just in case he tried something funny. He must have felt my glare since he hurried out of the room with Sekiko. Inuyasha was the last one who needed to be escorted.
"If come along with me, Inuyasha-sama, I'll bring you to your room." Takkako said politely. She turned to Shippo who had been on my shoulder. "If you don't mind, kitsune-sama, would you like to spend the night with Kagome?" she asked.
Shippo nodded her head eagerly. "Mochiron!" he exclaimed. "I'll stay with Kagome for the night." He grinned.
"Very well then." Takkako said sweetly. "Now, if you follow me, Inuyasha-sama, I'll show you the way." she said, pulling him by the arm since his feet seemed to be glued to the floor.
"No way, wench!" he yelled, ripping his arm back. His eyes blazed at her and she took an unsure step back. "Don't go touching me when I don't even know you!" he yelled. Then, he turned to Sesshomaru and I. "And I am not going to leave Kagome with the likes of you." He growled angrily. "I've put up with it when the others were here but not anymore! Kagome, get away from him." he demanded.
I was too shocked to say anything. I didn't need to since Sesshomaru spoke up for me. "Demo, if I recall correctly, the first time you laid eyes on her after those two months you wanted nothing more than to have me take her back." He said calmly. "And I do suggest you be kinder with the ones who are trying to assist you, brother. It is rather impolite to yell at a woman when they're only trying to help." He said, eyes narrowed.
Inuyasha only glared back, his fists tightly curled. "I am not leaving without her." he said finally through clenched teeth. The anger in his eyes… I didn't like it. I had a feeling deep inside me that he wasn't always this angry. Once upon a time, I knew that he had softer eyes. Because of his immense anger, he forced me to take a step back, closer to Sesshomaru. And the way he said it with such possessiveness… it scared me.
I felt Sesshomaru's eyes narrow. "See what you have done?" he asked, his tone icy. "You caused the scent of fear to now fill the room. Do you seriously believe that the miko would trust you now after what you have done? You need to redeem yourself to her, Inuyasha. You cannot force her to do anything with you." And he was so right.
The hanyou's eyes grew darker but, as they fell on me, they softened into a tone that showed sadness and regret. He looked down, not meeting my eyes. "Whatever." He mumbled. He turned to Takkako. "I don't need your help, wench. Rooms are for humans." He said, impatient, heading for the door.
Takkako glanced at me and I gave a reassuring nod. If Inuyasha did anything to her, I swear I'll do bodily harm to him. He couldn't just threaten my friend like that. He walked out but, before he closed the door, I finally found my voice. "Inuyasha." I started. "If you dare speak like that to Takkako again, you'll be answering to me." I said sternly. Not coldly, not resentfully. Just a stern warning. His ears tweaked at my direction but nothing else happened as he closed the door. Takkako bowed at Sesshomaru and headed out as well.
Now it was only me, Sesshomaru and Shippo. I bent my head down. "Shippo-chan, go with Inuyasha for a bit, okay?" I requested. "I need to speak with Sesshomaru for a minute."
Shippo looked hesitant at first but seeing my confident look made him scurry out of the room. Once he was gone, I turned and hugged Sesshomaru fiercely. It took him by surprise since he staggered back a little. But he quickly redeemed his posture and stood up straight. "Sesshomaru, I don't know how to show it but I want to thank you so much!" I said with gratitude. I looked up at him, my smile wide and true. I was careful not to hurt myself on his armor. "And, for a second there… you kind of rocked." I grinned, stepping back and letting my arms fall to my sides.
He looked at me oddly. "Rocked?" he repeated, utterly confused although trying not to show it.
I shook my head, not knowing why he couldn't understand and not bothering to explain it to him. I continued to smile at him. "What you did, I'm really grateful Sesshomaru. You let them in, let them speak their mind and now, you've let them stay for the night! I can't possibly think of any ways to repay it back to you." I said softly. It was true. Knowing Sesshomaru, what he did was incredible.
He stared at me for awhile before he spoke. "You've forgotten one thing, miko." He stated rather irritably. "I've also let them steal one night of sleep from me. How can I possibly rest knowing that such filthy creatures are in my home?"
I lightly punched him on his one arm. "They're not filthy." I defended. "I'm pretty sure that they bathe regularly." I assured him. "And besides, didn't you once tell me that a youkai doesn't need sleep? One night can't kill you." I teased.
"I am aware of that." he said bluntly. "But nevertheless, I doubt I'll be doing you such favors any time soon. I have already sacrificed my time and space keeping you. I do not need more nuisances."
"But you still kept me here." I said softly, reminding him. "And I'd like to thank you for that as well. Without you and your hospitality, I don't know where I'd be. After all, you didn't need to take me in when you found me in the forest."
He didn't say anything. I stared back at him softly, realizing something. "I owe you my life." I whispered gently, a soft smile on my lips. Somehow, owing my life to Sesshomaru didn't seem so bad. A slight blush appeared on my cheeks as I suddenly stepped forward and leaned up. As quickly as I could, I went up on my tiptoes and gave him a light chaste kiss on the cheek. "Arigatou." I said, blushing furiously. "Ja mata, Sesshomaru!" I said, not making eye contact and quickly leaving the room, feeling his eyes on me even as I closed the door. If someone had taken a picture of me at that exact moment, I would've come out a bright, blinding red.
--x--x--x--
Peculiar. Very peculiar. With my one hand, I reached up and lightly touched the cheek that she had pecked. I could still feel the moist feeling of her lips on my skin. She was rather bold, doing what she did. No one had dared do that to me unless it was I who made the first move, or if permission was given. When she had left at a rush, I could smell her embarrassment. But no regret. She had intended to do that, which pleased me more than it should. Why, I was at a loss for an answer.
And, I was slightly startled when I had admitted that I was pleased and not disgusted. In other circumstances, I would have, seeing as it was a human miko who had dared touch me in such a way. But seeing as it was Kagome, I didn't mind all that much. The fact troubled me greatly.
I was still feeling the warm sensation on my cheek and, oddly enough, it began to spread through my body as well. Her lips had been so soft when she pressed it gently on my skin. I wondered how it would feel if it was pressed on my own. With a much fiercer force…
"Ah, Sesshomaru. I never thought I'd see the day. You, day-dreaming about a woman, I can't believe it."
Ah. Another pest in my life that I could not get rid of. "Aunt, why have you come?" I asked, my emotionless voice on.
She chuckled, leaning against the wall beside the door. "Nothing in particular, nephew." She said although there was a twinkle in her eye. "But, I was rather curious why Kagome had suddenly rushed out of the room with her face aflame. Then, when I come in, I see you standing there, doing absolutely nothing. Perhaps you will retell the events that had occurred only a few seconds ago?" she suggested.
I glared at her in warning. "This is hardly a time for stories." I told her. "Do you have any business here that you'd like to speak to me about?" I inquired sternly.
"Well." She drawled, smirking. "I had first come in here to ask you yet again where the radishes are, but it seems as if I've found a more interesting matter." Her golden eyes stared playfully into mine. "Perhaps you can explain why her scent is all over you. And explain why your scent was all over her when she had left the room." there was something in her voice. Something suggesting. I didn't like it.
"That is none of your concern, aunt." I told her icily. "Once again, I do not know the whereabouts of your missing radish. If that is all, I will permit myself to leave this room." I told her, walking forward towards the door.
"Iie, Sesshomaru, you will tell me what happened between you two." She said, blocking my way. She still held that cunning smirk. Over the years, I have grown to despise and grow wary of that look.
Realizing that she would not let me pass and I could not possibly bodily force her out of the way, I gave in. Willingly, I might add. This Sesshomaru will not be forced into doing anything he did not want. "She flung herself onto me." I told her rather plainly. "A sign of gratitude, she had stated. Now, let me pass." I ordered.
She disobeyed me. "Demo, that is not all, is it nephew?" she asked knowingly. Her eyes gazed onto my striped cheek. "I clearly remember that your cheek was not that moist when I had left." She grinned.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "She had done it unexpectedly. Believe me, if I had known what her course of action were, I would've stopped her." I had thought that lying was beneath me. But, it was partly true, therefore not rendering it a complete lie. If she had done it in slow motion, say, taking her thirty minutes to reach my cheek, I would've pushed her away. This Sesshomaru never lies.
But my aunt thought otherwise as she continued to smirk at me, satisfaction in her eyes. "Oh, but is she not but a mere human?" she questioned. "Her actions must have been slow compared to your enhanced speed and, as you say, intelligently quick mind."
I was growing rather tired of her words. "Move, aunt. I will not spend my entire day talking to you on such ridiculous matters." I said more forcefully this time, although I managed to keep my voice even. Finally, she moved out of the way. And, I gracefully exited the room. She followed me out. I began to walk away but she called out something to me.
"Don't rush her to do anything, Sesshomaru!" she said. I could feel her grinning at my retreating back. "She has been through a lot, poor child." If she said anything after that, I didn't hear her.
Walking through my castle, I noticed that it was already beginning to stink of my half-brother. I had just accustomed myself to Kagome's scent (which didn't take as long as I had first thought) and I will not force myself to tolerate my half-brother's mutt scent as well. They must leave tomorrow. Even if she begs me, I will not let them stay.
--x--x--x--
--Inuyasha--
When I had first found out that a body was still in the coffin, I was immediately flooded with anger. I had stared at her with such hate and malice, I could see her soul tremble within her eyes. But at that time, I didn't care. In my mind, she had tricked us. She had used my dearest friend's name, used her body, used her scent and voice, just to have us believe that she was still alive.
What a fool I was.
Now, I regretted everything I did to her. I recalled kicking her. I wanted to kick myself. I recalled pulling at her hair. I wanted to cut my hands off. I recalled saying awful things to her, making all her hopes shatter. I wanted to kill myself for it.
But at that time, I didn't regret anything. I didn't know what I had done. As soon as she was out of my sight, the rain began to fall and I wasted no time in running away. I had believed that she was Kagome. I had believed that Kagome had come back amongst the living. Amongst her friends. Amongst me.
When we had first buried her, I was filled with such sorrow and despair. I didn't eat for weeks. Then, after that emotional flood had dried, a new flood had come, filled with malice and vengeance. I wanted to kill Naraku so badly. I had never felt so angry before in my life. He had taken so much away from me. First, it was Kikyo. And when she was gone, so was the life I wanted to spend with her. And now, he had taken away Kagome. And when Kagome was gone, so was my light and conscience.
I had lost Kagome and I solely blamed myself and Naraku. I was filled with such self-loathing and such hatred. I couldn't protect her because I wasn't strong enough. So, for weeks, I did nothing but train. I did nothing but try and become stronger. My friends were all worried about me but I was so angry, so spiteful, that I had yelled and cursed at them. I had changed when Kagome had died. The moment I couldn't feel her pulse was the moment my world shattered to pieces.
There were many more things I wanted to tell her. So many things I wanted her to know. But she would never get the chance to hear it from my lips because she had died. Because I was too cowardly to say it sooner.
But then, she had come back again, along with Sesshomaru. And yet, even then, I glared at her and wanting nothing more than to kill her. I had thought it was just a trick. A pitiful excuse of the one I lo-- cared for. When my eyes fell upon her, I was instantly filled with rage again. I had failed her and, seeing her as a puppet in my mind's eye, reminded me of my failure and my hatred and my anger and my despair. It was all her fault at the time.
And then, she was left with us and I was forced to tolerate her. I wanted to clean her neck of her head but the others had guaranteed her of her safety. I didn't like it at all. All I showed was hostility and hatred towards her. But then, as the days passed, I saw more and more of the Kagome I remembered. She acted so much like her, she even smelt like her. So, at that one forbidden moment, I had let hope swell inside me.
It was only shattered on that day. It was so painful, I felt as if my heart was breaking again. This would be the third time. One when I had thought Kikyo had betrayed me; two, when Kagome had died in my arms. And three, because I had dared to hope only to have that hope shattered in many pieces.
So, I retreated to the only place that gave me solitude. The Goshinboku. It gave me comfort. Gave me peace within myself. Even in the rain, I settled upon the branch, loving the way it made me so connected. So united with her. Kagome…
Then, when I had thought it was the next day, I moved from the tree only to visit the well. It was flooding then, because of the rain, and I hated it. I wanted to sit down on its dry soil, like I sometimes did these days. The well also made me feel connected with her. Only she and I could go through. Not anymore though. For some odd reason, the blasted well wouldn't let me through. I couldn't even tell her parents that she was dead. So, I sat upon the soil, the soil that gave me some comfort. But the rain had restricted that privilege and I had felt myself go angry once more. But I did nothing but stand there, drenched in the rain and starving, staring down into the flooding well. I didn't leave it until I woke up after falling unconscious.
I had gone back to the hut and I was greeted with a rather huge surprise. Sango and Miroku had told me their tale. I knew what they had said was true because of the regret and sorrow I heard in their voices. Also, the golem was proof enough that the girl we had sent out was the girl I lo-- cared for. The thought made me break inside. Again I was filled with self-hatred and I kept wondering, why, why… Why would I do that to my Kagome? It had seemed that, recently, I was filled with self-anger and hatred without Kagome's guidance.
We took off to find her immediately. It took awhile to actually find out where she was but we did eventually when the rain was letting up. So, we ran nonstop towards Sesshomaru's castle. But when we got there, she was standing side by side with Sesshomaru. It had stopped raining days ago before we arrived. But when we stopped in front of her, even after she and the kitsune runt cried, she looked at me and I immediately saw the hurt and betrayal in her eyes. I had stepped closer to her but she only stepped back, behind Sesshomaru.
She feared me. I had never thought I'd actually be able to have that reaction from her.
So, here I was, sulking on a tree branch, recalling all the hateful memories. How could I have been so stupid? She was right there in front of me, within my grasp, but I had turned a blind eye on her and literally kicked her away. When I had spoken and addressed that I would not leave without her, the room immediately filled with the scent of her fear. That was the only reason why I left. That was the only reason why I was thinking about this so much right now.
I would give anything to turn back time, to go back to that rainy day and stop myself from making the biggest mistake of my life. But I couldn't. Kagome was the only one who had the power to travel back in time, even if she couldn't remember. Which reminds me of another fact, she couldn't even remember me or her closest friends. It was suspicious but even then I should've realized it was her. The way she acted, the way she talked, the way she dressed. It was all her. Kagome. How could I have been so blind?
Suddenly, I was pulled away from my thoughts as I heard the soft patter of feet. I'd know those steps anywhere and my eyes instantly widened. Perhaps this is a chance to have her forgive me. Perhaps this was a chance to finally ask for an apology without an audience.
Careful not to frighten her, I leapt to another tree. And to another. She was at the stream, sitting down, curling a hair on her finger. My breath hitched. How could I have any doubts? Kagome always used to do that.
Silently, I jumped down from the tree and approached her. "Kagome…" I said quietly, knowing full well if I didn't say anything to warn her of my appearance, she'd run and scream. Her head turned sharply at my voice and her frame immediately stiffened. Wide brown met sad gold. She never was afraid of me. Now, she was and I deserved the pain in my chest. I walked towards her, stopping after two meters apart. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked as kindly as I could. But even that sounded gruff. What was wrong with me?
She stared at me but nodded hesitantly. "Sure." She said quietly, nervously pulling her hair behind her ear. Yet another habit of Kagome's. As I seated myself, a silence came between us. And definitely not a peaceful one. She was tense and I knew she would bolt if she thought she needed to. After awhile of silence, she spoke. "What is it?" she asked. I would've loved the sound of her voice again but it was laced with fear and suspicion. It froze my heart.
"I came to say…" I started. "That I'm sorry." That sounded rather pathetic. And, it took a really big blow to my pride. But, for Kagome, it was worth it. "I truly regret kicking you, pulling at your hair and threatening your life." I winced at the blunt voice I was using. Why the hell couldn't I make it just a tone softer? "I don't ask for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it."
She turned to me, an unreadable emotion in her eyes. "On that day, I was really scared of you, you know?" she said quietly. There was no malice in her voice. "The way you looked at me, the way you spoke, it made me fearful for my life. But it wasn't just my life. The words that you actually spoke broke me."
"Again, I'm sorry." I told her, hurting in the inside. I didn't know she'd actually voice out her feelings and it made me regret it more. "I don't mean those words any more. If I said that I was tricked, it would've been such a lame excuse."
"I've already told you." She said softly. "I've forgiven each and everyone of you. You don't need to say sorry anymore. You can't help it if you were tricked. It wasn't your fault."
I glared at the green grass I was seated on. "But it was my fault, Kagome." I persisted. "If I had a little more faith in you… If I trusted you more…" I couldn't finish the sentence.
Slowly, agonizingly slow, she shuffled closer to me. But only a little. I knew that the gesture was a sign of comfort. I also knew that she couldn't bring herself to touch me now. "It's okay." She said again. "The past is the past. The future is the future. But the present is now. You've got to move on, okay? I already have." She said, looking back into the stream.
I glanced at her. "But how?" I asked with a strained voice. "What I said, I knew it had hurt you. How did you manage to get back on your feet?" I asked. I was truly curious but something inside me dreaded the answer.
She turned to me and smiled softly. And yet, I got the feeling that smile wasn't for me. "Sesshomaru told me long ago that I was Kagome. I guess I never really did shatter as I first thought. His words were like a string, keeping the pieces together and, gradually, pulling them back into a rather messy whole."
Sesshomaru. Of course. But why? My half-brother had never helped a human. Well, I had seen him with that little girl before but she doesn't count. I doubt she had shot an arrow at him. Why would Sesshomaru help Kagome of all people? And the way they've been acting towards one another, I didn't like it at all. Especially that smile she had given him before. She used to only give me those kinds of smiles. Now, she could hardly give me one at all.
Perhaps I had lost her. Maybe I was too late. No. I refused to admit that. I will win her back from my brother, even if it's the last thing I do. Kagome belongs with me, not him. Especially not him. He doesn't know how to properly take care of someone. I lowered my head, hiding my eyes from her view. "I'm sorry." I said yet again but this time for different purposes. I'm sorry that I hadn't given up on you. I'm sorry because I know I'll hurt you again in the future. I'm sorry that I'll keep fighting for you until the very end. I'm sorry that I want you to be by my side at all times. I'm sorry that I'm selfish and want you all to myself.
But, as always, Kagome misinterpreted my words. She crawled towards me, and, with a hesitant mind, she wrapped her arms around my neck and shoulder, her hands meeting at my chest. "It's all right." She said quietly. "Inuyasha… I do understand."
I remembered, quite a long time ago, that she had been in the exact same position saying the exact same words. It was when I had first turned into a full-blooded demon and killed many humans, even when they pleaded for their lives. Then, oddly enough, Sesshomaru appeared and 'saved' me from myself. I was so uncertain then. I was scared that, if I turned full-demon again, I would drive my own claws into her flesh.
Almost automatically, my hand came up and enveloped her hands in mine. She stiffened slightly, I couldn't blame her, but she kept her place, hugging me for comfort. It only brought on memories. Suddenly, she parted from me and I almost pulled her back. I had missed her warmth. It was only now that I realized how much I truly did. She stood up and stepped away from me, a smile on her face. This time, it was directed at me. "Gomen, Inuyasha." She said nervously. "I had no idea why I did that. It was as if my body moved on its own." She laughed quietly. "Anyway, I better go check on Sango and Miroku. You know, to see if they like their rooms and all." she said. Then, she started to walk away. "Ja!" she called over her shoulder once before she disappeared into the castle.
I sat there, thinking. I knew for certain that I wanted her back. I wanted her back by my side. I wanted her back with me. And, most importantly, I wanted her to have her memories back so she could finally remember me. And, maybe, the love she had for me would come back as well. I wasn't blind. I knew she cared deeply for me. But what I wasn't sure about was what kind of love was it. Was it the love for a brother, a love for a friend, or a love for a lover? I wasn't sure but I wanted that love back.
Suddenly, I realized that a pair of eyes were watching me. I stood up and turned, glaring back at him. "Sesshomaru, what are you doing here?" I growled angrily at him. He was the last person on earth I wanted to see right now.
He calmly walked towards me, his face hard and, as usual, void of any emotion. "Do I need permission to walk in my own home?" he asked me calmly. But his eyes. There was something about them. He was glaring at me with an intensity he had never showed. "Brother, I suggest you do not get too comfortable in my home for you will be escorted out tomorrow."
"Damn straight." I told him. "And I'll be taking Kagome with me. You'll be glad that someone's going to take her out of your hands." I knew deep in my gut that wasn't true.
His eyes uncharacteristically narrowed at me. "We will see." he said coolly. "For it is up to Kagome to decide." And with that, he strolled passed me.
When his words registered in my head I suddenly turned and yelled. "Hey! Since when did you ever use Kagome's name?" I yelled in outrage. But, he was already gone. I glared at the emptiness in front of me. They were getting way too informal for my liking. But either way, I'll return her memories and then, she'll turn back to me and everything will be back to normal again.
I looked up at the cloudy sky. They gave one clear observation: it was going to rain tonight.
--x--x--x--
Aw, poor Inuyasha. DX So full of self-hatred… I don't like him being so deep and angry with himself. Some time next chapters or so, I will make him more like the Inuyasha we know! You'll see! He's just going through a teenage phase, that's all. It'll pass (-.-''). Lol. Anyway, there's some fluff between both sides although the SK fluff was way sweeter. It wasn't one-sided! Yay! But the IK was… aww… ;( Anyway, I tried attempted humour here so it wouldn't be so gloomy! Hope you liked it! lol. :D I told you it was special, didn't I?? THREE POVs! WHOOP!
Thanks to:
Twist in fate, kittyb78, candycorn87, Missy Misa, Sesshomaru is Fluffy Evil, Kaili Hitame, Jennie Harris, Callie-yue, AnimeFreakGirl777, SELENE, Panda Blitz, llebreknit, Xade, FluffyandKagome, Sesshoumaru'swife123, Lady Skorpio, AwesomeHachi, AngelofMist, kandy123654, HeyLeslie, Meixing, LadySafire, Finchette, .Saiya.of.the.moon., kiezzie, Raina Darlig, UtterChaos247, Koori Youkai Hime, MiHonoKo, iRiD3SSA, MooMoo-of-Doom, imastrgrazer, yakunantenshi, pure happiness, floralyn, and all those others I've missed. If so then sorry!
Various Review Replies:
Twist in fate – AWW!! I'm so sorry I didn't update flowly! I was going to update on Monday but then my friend introduced me to this new book and now I'm hooked. It's only because I threatened myself not to touch the fourth book for three days if I didn't update today. (-.-) I'm so sorry! :(
kittyb78 – (O.O) WOAH! That's A LOT of updates! The most I've updated in about three chapters all on the same story on the same day. (-.-) lol. Yeah, you've got nothing to do if you're sick except go on or read a book. Lol. And, unfortunately, a person's creativness is usually subdued by school. :( Curse them! Lol. :D
Sesshomaru is Fluffy Evil – Yay! No mistakes! :D But another person said I did… (-.-) I guess editing isn't one of my strong points ne? lol. My one time biggest fear is bugs. Heights also scare me a lot though. Shiver. Weird because I want to climb mt. Everest one day. Lol. And yep, it WAS freaky. I mean, even I, the writer, got spooked! How weird is that??
Kaili Hitame – Yeah, the only reason why the doll didn't attack the other one was because it was suspected. Plus, it had orders from Naraku… (shifts eyes) hehehe… Anyway, glad you're still reading and I hope this little delay didn't make you lose interest!
AnimeFreakGirl777 – Yeah, Twisted Hearts, that's it. Lol. Sorry. I got confused with the summary. The last bit was really effective! :D But yeah, she would let Souta live… if only she'd update! ARGG!! Lol. And yes, It's Not Sane. Read it! Completely hilarious although it's also impcomplete :P
AwesomeHachi – Yep. I purposely linked the quote to the story. Or, shall we say now, the poem to the story. Lol. And you don't know what's gonna happen next so don't go jumping to assumptions! I'm a crazy author, you won't know what to expect! :D But yeah, don't worry about the next chapter. I won't let them speak about slelf-loathing anymore… as much. Lol. Sorry if this chapter seemed too sad for you!!
AngelofMist – Well, Kagome DID kiss Sesshomaru so that counts, right? Lol. There's your SK fluffiness! Hoped ya liked it! :D
kandy123654 – Yes, thank you for the umm imaginary hat… (whispers) YESSSSSSS! Thanx soo much! X3 Dollie sooo cute… (ends whispering) lol. Anyway, yeah, just a hat. Thanks very much! XD And in return, I'll give you a free plant vase… (whispers again) inside will be a life-time supply of chocolates… you'll never run out! (stops whispering) There you go! Enjoy your vase!
Finchette – Oh, those quotes are from the manga. They're sorta memory snippets to add to the mystery of Kagome's past memories! :D Anyway, thanks for sending it to me! I'll log on next time since I'm busy right now. But, if I lose it, can I tell you and you'll send me another invite? If so, thanks a bunch! :D hehehe… wolve-like things that can eat pears XD
UtterChaos247 – It was the two months AFTER she died and when she was found my Sesshomaru. . :) Hope that helps!
iRiD3SSA – Yep. You're right! Sesshomaru found Kagome two months after she was supposedly dead. The IY group thought she was underground for all that time but she wasn't or else she wouldn't be there. :D
pure happiness – Yeah, well, I'm not sure about Inuyasha apprecitating Sesshomaru just yet. I mean, he's kinda got angry and he hasn't really shown his softer side in over two months since Kagome had 'died' so it'll be pretty hard for him. Or, rather, I'M going to make it pretty hard for him. Lol. I just love the InuKagSess love triangle! Keeps you in suspence! :) I am so sure that I spelt that word wrong…
.Saiya.of.the.moon – Sure, I'll check it out! And I had word problems as well… I DIDN'T have word! LOL! But now I do so I don't make TOO many errors. That's why some of my other stories has serious issues… I didn't have MS word on it. Lol. Not to worry though! :D I won't be having that problem again! And wow, you've reviewed a lot! I thank you for it! :D And yessss! Oreos! Love them! Twist it, lick it, dunk it, eat it. Lol. I'm not sure if the eat it part is there though. I think I messed it up. (-.-) Anyway, thanks for reading!
floralyn – Yep, absoultely correct! And I will keep going, don't worry! :)
People who get a free imaginary cookie:
AwesomeHachi – Hehehe. You're right! Congrats!
MooMoo-of-Doom – Yep! It was with the painter! :D I just LOVE your penname! Moomoo of doom… lol! :)
Thanks everyone! Wow, lots of reviews last chapter… Don't forget to review again! Ja. :)