Jammeke – The talk is coming very soon I promise, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Atlantis Ori Sheppard – Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like Taros.
Saphire – I don't know where the bunny thing came from, it just kind of wrote itself lol. You'll learn soon why Elizabeth isn't happy even though she's back in Atlantis with her people. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Sparkly – I'm glad you liked Amelia's line about Malar and as for doing something to Taros (looks shifty, runs and hides). Thanks for the review.
Kuroima – Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked the conversation between Amelia and Elizabeth. You'll learn soon why Elizabeth isn't happy; I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Steph – I'm sure another John hug would help Elizabeth feel better lol, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 21
He was no expert on Ancient physiology but it wasn't really all the different from humans so Carson was fairly sure the results in his hands weren't good. For that reason he'd called Taros to the infirmary and was now standing face to face with the Ancient.
"There was something in your results that had me worried and I'd like to run some more tests," Carson was explaining. The look on the older man's face was almost eerie; it was as though he already knew everything Carson was telling him.
"I am dying," Taros said calmly, as though it was something he went through regularly.
Carson froze for a moment, unsure of how to respond to that. "We can't be sure of..." he began but Taros cut him off.
"I am sure, I have been sure for some time now. There is nothing to be done but I would appreciate it if you could keep this to yourself for now," Taros told him; there was nothing but acceptance in his voice.
"There must be something we can do," Carson tried to protest, the doctor in him wasn't quite ready to admit defeat when it had only just found out there was anything wrong with the man. Until an hour ago he'd thought the Ancient was perfectly healthy.
"There is not," Taros said, his tone leaving no room for further protest.
"Elizabeth will want to know," Carson stated, he wasn't sure what else to say.
"And I will tell her... and Malar, just not yet," Taros replied "Is there anything else?"
"I'd like to run those tests anyway," Carson told him and Taros nodded moving to sit on one of the beds without a word.
It hadn't taken him long to find her, he knew there were very few places she would go and this was one of the first he'd checked. The balcony where the two of them had always spent so much of their time, where they would stand and talk about whatever was going on at the time. He'd missed their talks out here more than he would ever be able to tell her.
She wasn't standing in her usual spot near the railing though, she was sitting further back watching the rain storm around the city, protected only by the roof of the balcony. They hadn't bothered with the shield for this one; it seemed like a waste of power when it was this mild. She had her legs pulled up to her chest, her back pressed against the wall and a thoughtful look on her face he'd seen too many times over the last three years and not enough over the last five months. He couldn't believe it had only been five months since they had been kicked out of the city by the Ancients, it felt like a life time ago.
He wordlessly sat down next to her mimicking her position and watching the storm with her. Neither of them spoke for several minutes and just as before all of this had started, their people left them alone while they were out here.
Their people... he'd never stopped thinking of the Atlantis expedition as theirs, his and Elizabeth's, even when she was gone, the people, the city, it had always been theirs. He hoped that it would continue to be that way, that when the IOA came they didn't try to take this from her... from them. The IOA had never been particularly secretive about their desire to mess with Atlantis, from the moment they'd got back in contact with earth he and Elizabeth had been forced to fend off the wolves.
"I missed the ocean," Elizabeth finally said, breaking the quiet.
"I'm not surprised, it's your favourite part of the city," he stated and Elizabeth smiled as she looked at him. "How are you settling in?"
"I'm... settling," she replied after a moment to carefully consider the question. John looked at her, a knowing look on his face. "It's strange to be back, it's taking some readjusting, I never thought I'd see the city again... or any of you."
"Teyla says you didn't show up for breakfast this morning," he told her.
"I guess I forgot, I'll apologise to her later," Elizabeth said, seemingly irritated with herself for having forgotten she'd made plans with Teyla that morning.
"It's alright, she's not mad, she was just concerned," John informed her and Elizabeth nodded her head slowly. John studied her, wondering if he should try and pry what was bothering her from her or if this was one of those times where he was better off letting her work it out on her own. "Want to talk about it?" he asked and her thoughtful gaze turned back to the storm.
"I just can't seem to... accept all this, to believe that I'm back, I keep waiting to wake up in the house in the village realising that none of this was real," she told him quietly, as though she was afraid that saying the words might make it happen.
"And if you accept that your back and you wake up... it'll hurt more," he finished for her and she once again nodded her head. He knew how much it took for her to open up to him like that, especially given everything that had happened. His next move surprised them both, he reached out and grabbed her hand, lifting it and holding it where the two of them could stare at it.
He felt an unusual wave of emotions hit him, the simple gesture bringing up feelings he'd denied were there. They both just stared at their entwined hands for a moment, each focused on their own internal thoughts.
"See," John said barely above a whisper. "That feels pretty real to me."
He wasn't sure what he was talking about more, the fact that this wasn't a dream or the feelings that had decided to make themselves known. It wasn't lost on him that he had yet to let go of her hand, nor did he fail to notice that she was still holding his hand as well.
"I missed you," the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could do anything about it and he mentally hit himself. Elizabeth looked slightly surprised but more at the fact that he'd said them than the words themselves.
"I missed you too," she told him, alleviating some of the awkwardness he felt.
"I have to go mediate a disagreement in the science department and by that I mean between Rodney and the entire scientific community of Atlantis," he told her with a small smile which elicited one from her. "Want to come; I could use a diplomat's help."
"Sure," she replied and he stood up, still holding onto her hand and using it to pull her up from the ground. Unfortunately that meant he had to let go of it as they walked back inside.
Laura watched as Carson pushed his food around the plate with his fork, he'd had his head in the clouds all day and she knew something was bothering him. "You know as a doctor, you ought to know that not eating is bad for you," she stated and he looked at her for a moment before her words seemed to sink into his far away brain and he smiled.
"You're right," he replied shovelling a fork full of food into his mouth and Laura tried not to roll her eyes at him.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or would like me to guess?" she asked and Carson sighed, he looked like someone had just come along behind him and dropped the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"I want to tell you but I can't," he told her.
"Doctor Patient thing?" she questioned and he nodded his head. "Whatever it is I'm sure you'll figure it out."
"Not this time," he said quietly and she looked at him in concern. "Don't worry about it love, let's just have lunch."
She let the subject go knowing that he couldn't tell her anything else but she felt more worried now than she had before she'd said anything.
As John walked into Rodney's lab he found the scientist reading something on his laptop, oblivious to his presence. He decided however not to scare him this time and simply went and sat down, waiting for the scientist to notice his presence. It was several minutes before the scientist stretched out his hunched over muscles and noticed John sitting there playing with a paper weight.
"How long have you been there?" he questioned.
"Too long," John replied "You're ridiculously oblivious sometimes you know."
"I am not," Rodney argued and John chose not to bother responding to it, instead he went back to playing with the paper weight. "Was there a reason you came here?"
"Nope," John said as he threw the paper weight in the air and caught it again.
"Then why don't you go bother someone else, like Elizabeth, I'm sure she's missed being pestered by you," Rodney suggested and John put the paper weight down to glare at him. "Oh that's right, you're dealing with your feelings."
John looked at the scientist in shocked dismay and resisted the urge to strangle him. "What?" he asked deciding to play dumb.
"I told you I'm not oblivious and I don't have a faulty memory either, Elizabeth being missing hit you harder than anyone else and I think we both know why," Rodney stated bluntly and when John opened his mouth to offer further protest Rodney cut him off. "Don't bother, you can lie to yourself all you want but I'm having a lousy day and since you sided with the Zelenka and the others this morning I'm not inclined to be patient with you, so don't lie to me. You missed her, we all did but you missed her for another reason, figure out what that is."
Rodney returned his attention to his laptop, continuing as though he hadn't just thrown all of John's apparently not so well hidden feeling out into the open for anybody to jump on. He carefully collected them and his thoughts, putting them away to deal with at another time just as Elizabeth walked into the lab.
"Hey," she greeted and Rodney looked up from his laptop.
"Elizabeth," he acknowledged.
"Is he still mad," she asked John when Rodney looked back at his laptop again. John thought about the lecture he'd just gotten.
"Yeah," he replied "I wouldn't recommend baring your soul to him right now."
A look of confusion passed over her face but she shook it off and sat down next to Rodney. John was saved from having to make conversation when Sam requested he and Elizabeth go to the briefing room. He heard Rodney muttering under his breath as the two of them left.
When they walked into the briefing room they found Sam talking to Jack who had obviously just arrived through the gate. "Elizabeth," he greeted with a smile and walked over to hug her which seemed to surprise everyone in the room, including Jack. "It's good to have you back."
"It's good to be back," she replied.
"I have to say you're a hard woman to find when you decide to go into hiding," he stated humorously as they all say down around the table.
"That was more to do with the Ancients than me, we figured either you'd destroyed the city or the replicators were still in control. We didn't want to risk them finding us so we went somewhere they wouldn't think to look for us," Elizabeth explained for the millionth time, though at least this time she didn't sound exasperated by it.
"Well at least we found you in the end."
Taros walked into his quarters carefully, he felt tired, very tired as though he'd pushed his body beyond its limits when all he'd done was go to the cafeteria for dinner. Perhaps if he slept he would feel better in the morning. He lifted a hand to his head; his skin was warm to the touch, too warm. His muscles ached and he could feel a growing pain his chest which was quickly turning from a dull ache into a sharp pain.
The doors closed behind him, blocking out the rest of the city and the noise that seemed to cause him more pain than it should. He was out of breath, the short walk had left him feeling like he'd just sprinted the entire length of the city and having done that once or twice in his younger days, he knew that was a long way.
Suddenly, the pain in his chest became unbearable and he reached his hand up clutching at the pain as though he'd thought he could actually hold it. His hands tightened around the jacket that covered his chest and it felt too difficult to breath. The edges of his vision were dark and blurring and it was spreading inwards, covering the sight of his quarters until the dark was all he could see.
He felt himself falling and heard the sound of something crashing into the floors when he knocked it over. Then everything went quiet and he felt unconsciousness finally claim him.
TBC