Sooooo sorry for the delay! Hope you're not too frustrated with me! Thank you to Jai (vampslaying101) who spends countless hours proofreading and plotting with me :)
TWENTY-ONE
Jenny sat at the breakfast bar, leafing through one of Dan's newly acquired books: "Pregnancy: Day by Day."
She probably should have been at the atelier, cracking the whip on Melinda and Whitney. New York Fashion Week was just on the horizon after all. But she'd been working non-stop since the gala. She'd earned the morning off.
Besides, she needed to mentally prepare for her lunch with Bridgette from Bergdorf's. And she was going to be riding it solo today since it looked like Eleanor wasn't going to make it back from Paris in time for their lunch meeting. Being relaxed and well rested really was crucial.
Though what she was currently looking at could hardly be deemed relaxing.
Jenny's eyes doubled in size as she turned the book sideways and carefully examined a picture of a woman giving birth.
"Oh my God. Oh…my...God…"
Startled by the sound of the squeaky loft door opening, she quickly closed the book and threw it on the counter. She put on a cheerful face, just as a weary and slightly disheveled Dan appeared.
"That's one Humphrey male accounted for. One more to go," Jenny announced.
Dan groggily shed his coat and flung it on the couch. "What do you mean?" he asked, stifling a yawn.
"Neither you nor Dad stayed here last night. It was just me, my muslin, and a pint of blood orange Ciao Bella."
Dan cocked his head, giving his sister a look of concern. "Dad didn't come home last night? That's kind of weird don't you think?"
Jenny shrugged. "Nah, he's probably just writing songs with Panic." She gave her brother a mischievous look. "So, where exactly have you been all night?"
Dan rubbed his eyes. His decision not to question Blair about the text from Georgina was eating at him. It was clear now that she'd lied to him, telling him the text had come from her mother. But fortunately or unfortunately, Blair's onslaught of morning sickness had distracted him just enough to where he wasn't completely fixating on it all night. In fact, Dan had spent the bulk of the evening and early morning giving back massages and fetching tea and crackers.
But it was all coming back to him now.
And the implications were starting to hit him like a freight train. The more he thought about it, the more irritated he became.
"It's done."
As much as he wanted to believe that the message was completely guileless, he knew a scheme when he saw one. "It's done" didn't leave much room for interpretation.
The name "Georgina" didn't leave much room for it either.
This was the woman who had first introduced herself to him as "Sarah." The woman who had conned him into believing that Milo was his son. The woman who had weaseled her way into becoming his personal manager. And the woman who had convinced a confirmed billionaire bachelor to marry her.
It went without saying that Georgina never did anything if there wasn't something in it for her. And that's what worried Dan the most.
"Earth to Dan..." Jenny snapped her fingers and simultaneously snapped her brother back into reality.
"...Sorry. Just a little tired."
"I'll bet. Guess when Eleanor's away, the mice will..." Jenny's mouth crinkled into a smile.
Dan cut his eyes at his sister and she suddenly realized just how inappropriate her comment was, especially given the events of the past couple of days. Blair did just lose custody of her son after all.
"Or not," Jenny said, backtracking. "She's still pretty distraught, huh?"
Dan's eyes narrowed as he recalled the previous day's early morning banana pudding lesson, and the late afternoon bacon battle and subsequent make-out session on the chaise lounge. Not to mention their whipped cream sexcapade later on that night.
Nope. Blair was anything but distraught.
And now Dan was back to square one, kicking himself for believing that her happy mindset could have ever simply been the result of engaging in the power of positive thinking. It was more likely due to the power of positive scheming. With Georgina.
Dan gave a pained sigh. "Actually no. Not distraught. Blair is doing...remarkably well." He rubbed his eyes again. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to march back over to that penthouse and demand answers from her.
"Then what's wrong?" Jenny queried, going strictly off of her brother's now disgruntled facial expression.
"Nothing," Dan replied bluntly. "Nothing..." He was going to have to ruminate some more on how exactly to handle the situation.
But now it was time for a subject change. "So, did you call Dad to see where he is or...?"
"Yep. Half an hour ago. When I called he didn't answer. But then he texted me right back and said he'd be home in a few."
Dan nodded. He then curiously peered past Jenny to see a book lying on the counter. He gestured to it. "What's that?"
"What is what?" Jenny asked, feigning ignorance.
"That book you're reading. On the counter. Behind you. The one you were attempting to hide when I walked in."
"Huh?" Jenny pretended to look around. "I wasn't attempting to hide anything."
"Hold it up, Jenny," Dan ordered, not buying the act for one second.
Jenny frowned. She grabbed the book and reluctantly lifted it up in the air.
Dan's face fell. "Okay, you can just hand that to me right now."
Jenny fought off a grin. "Relax, Dan. I just wanted to see what my little nephew or niece looks like at this point. How far along is Blair again?"
"Eight weeks. Now give it to me." Jenny ignored him and opened the book. She quickly skimmed through and her eyes flashed with excitement as she stopped on the corresponding "pregnancy at eight weeks" page.
She began to read.
"Ohhhh. Your baby is a kidney bean!"
Dan glowered. "My baby is not a kidney bean. My baby is the size of a kidney bean. There's a difference. Now hand it over," he demanded, a bit more forcefully this time. He looked at the loft door nervously, paranoid that Rufus was going to come back at any moment.
Jenny giggled and continued to leaf through before stopping to read a snippet.
"The neural pathways are forming, and little webbed fingers and toes are poking out from its hands and feet! Oh my God. So cute."
"Jenny..."
"Oh look, Dan! His eyelids are covering up his little eyes now!"
Dan began to grit his teeth. "JENNY! Please, please give me the damn book!"
The siblings were too busy bantering to notice Rufus casually strolling through the door, whistling to himself. He was in a bit of a drowsy haze, but immediately perked up when he spotted his kids.
"Hey! Look at us. All in the same room!" he announced.
Dan gulped and Jenny froze at the sound of Rufus's voice. Their eyes latched onto each other's briefly before slowly turning around to face their father.
Jenny stealthily moved the book off the counter and placed it into her lap.
"How bout I fire up the old waffle iron?" Rufus suggested, a goofy grin on his face.
Jenny smiled. "Waffles sound excellent, Dad." She glanced at her brother whose eyes were apprehensively darting between Rufus and the book in Jenny's lap. "Do you have any of that strawberry butter?"
"You know? I think I just might," Rufus said with a wink. He proceeded to throw off his coat and head to the fridge.
While Rufus's back was turned, Jenny hastily handed Dan the book.
"Yep. Here we go," Rufus announced as he pulled out the butter. He turned around just in time to see Dan hightailing it the direction of his room, book in hand.
"Dan? Wait. Where are you going? We're doing waffles."
Dan paused awkwardly. "I know. I just um…I have to do something real quick. Be right back."
Rufus tilted his head to the side, eyeing the book. "What have you got there?"
Dan's eyes shut. "This? It's a uh…a book."
Rufus gave an amused laugh. "I can see that, Dan. What book?"
"Just a uh...a reference book."
"Research," Jenny chimed in. "For a new novel he's working on. Right Dan?"
Dan nodded his head slowly. "Yep. That's right."
Rufus looked at Dan curiously. "You're working on something new? Did Carrie sign off on the Roosevelt book already?"
Dan went silent. It suddenly occurred to him that his father knew nothing of his recent troubles with his publisher or agent. "Sign off? In a way…" He discreetly moved the baby book behind his back. "I'm going in to pitch some stuff at the end of the week."
Rufus cast a gaze of approval in his son's direction. "Well, I'm sure Carrie will be pleased that you already have some new ideas in the works."
Dan licked his lips nervously. "Actually, I kind of have a meeting with a new publisher this week."
Rufus gave him a befuddled look. "A new publisher? Is there a problem at Random House?"
Dan nodded hesitantly. "They haven't... been returning my calls. Neither has Marco..."
Rufus slowly digested the information. He knew exactly what Dan was saying and it was precisely the type of retribution he had tried to warn his son about on New Year's.
"Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" Rufus questioned, a tinge of irritation in his voice. "Chuck's behind this, I assume?"
Dan shrugged. "Probably." Since Serena was giving him a divorce now, it seemed less and less plausible that she had anything to do with it. There was always Lily, but this was definitely Chuck's modus operandi. He'd used it before.
"I didn't want to burden you with my problems," Dan explained. "And there's actually a silver lining here because Megan hooked me up with a friend of hers at Persea Publishing, which is where I'm going in to pitch later in the week."
The truth was it was probably just going to be a very basic introductory meeting. But this sounded better.
Rufus mulled on this, feeling only slightly better about Dan's situation than he had a minute earlier. He wasn't sure Blair Waldorf was worth his son potentially losing his career over, especially considering the way she'd treated him the last time they'd dated. But this was Dan's life.
"I knew Megan was a good egg," Rufus said in a semi-supportive tone. He turned around and filled the coffee carafe with water, then emptied it into the brewer. "So the Humphrey clan is back on track. Sort of." He pushed the button on the coffee maker to let the percolating begin.
"Yep," Dan replied with a small sigh of relief. He started to sneak off toward his room once again.
"So what kind of research?" Rufus questioned, quickly turning back around.
Dan hadn't even made it two steps. "Research...?" Dan echoed.
Rufus pointed at the book Dan was gripping tightly behind his back.
"Oh, it's um..."
"Fashion research," Jenny interjected. "Dan's considering doing a mystery novel about a fashion designer who also solves murders."
Dan could only glare at his sister.
Rufus looked at Dan. "Really? A mystery fashion novel?"
Jenny nodded enthusiastically. "See, the designer figures out her top model is the one behind the murders of all these other models who she's like totally threatened by. You know, because she's about to turn twenty-three."
Dan cringed in agony with every word that spewed from Jenny's mouth. She looked at him, gesturing for him to take over.
"Uh...yeah," Dan reluctantly added. "And this new, up and coming designer, who wears way too much eye makeup, gets offed because she can't seem to keep her big mouth shut. About anything."
Rufus was leaning back against the kitchen counter now, his arms folded up against his chest. His eyes scanned suspiciously between Jenny and Dan. "Okay, does someone want to tell me what's really going on here?"
Dan looked down at the floor and Jenny stared at the ceiling.
Rufus exhaled and pushed away from the counter. He leisurely strolled in the direction of his son. He surveyed Dan before taking the book from his hands.
Dan could only shut his eyes as Rufus read the title aloud. "Pregnancy: Day by Day."
It was insanely quiet for a few moments. There weren't even any taxi horns or car alarms going off outside to offset the tension.
Rufus stared at the cover which featured a very pregnant woman smiling and holding her belly. He looked at Dan. Then at the book. Then again at Dan.
"Interesting research for a fashion mystery novel..."
Dan opened his eyes, swallowing nervously. Hyper verbal Dan was about to make a special guest appearance.
"Um. Yeah. I'm considering a subplot where the fashion designer gets artificially inseminated by her gay best friend slash assistant. Thinking about pitching it as 'Will and Grace' meets 'America's Next Top Model' meets 'Murder She Wrote.'" He gulped.
Rufus said nothing as he studied his son.
Dan, growing increasingly uncomfortable, returned his attention back to the floor.
"Dad, so how's the Panic album shaping up? I can't wait to hear the new stuff!" Jenny suddenly chimed, in a useless attempt to throw her father off the scent.
Rufus wasn't listening-he'd gone back to studying the cover.
Jenny and Dan exchanged a glance as realization started to set in for Rufus. He anxiously ran his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat.
"Dan, this book isn't for a subplot..." he started calmly. "Is it?"
Dan waited a second, then grudgingly shook his head.
"Is Blair..." Rufus paused. "Is Blair pregnant?"
Dan exchanged another glance with Jenny, then nodded, "yes."
The vein in Rufus's forehead was starting to bulge. "So let me see if I've got this straight, Dan. You and Blair are both still married to other people, and now you're having a baby?"
Dan nodded again.
Rufus clenched a fist. "HOW could you have let this happen, Dan!?"
Dan was caught off guard by Rufus's scathing tone. He felt like he was sixteen again, back when he thought Serena was pregnant. He was just a teenager, so he understood it being a problem then. But now? He wasn't understanding his father's reaction at all.
"Dad…it was just…just one of those things. She was on the... pill." Dan winced just listening to himself. He was a grown man, yet here he was defending himself.
"And no birth control is a hundred percent effective, Dad," Jenny added in a misguided attempt to back him up.
Dan rubbed his temples. Rufus ambled over to the couch and slumped down. "I just can't believe you weren't more judicious here, son!"
"What's the big deal, Dad?" Jenny blurted, standing up from her stool. "Dan and Blair are both adults. With money. It's not like we're living in the nineteenth century. This is how it's done nowadays. I mean look at Simon Cowell. And the Kartrashians!"
Dan shot his sister another look. She was not helping. At all.
"They're married to other people, Jenny! That's the big deal!"
Dan sighed and approached his father on the couch. "Obviously, it's not the ideal situation. But I'm not sure why you're so upset about this. In fact I figured you'd be ecstatic about having your first grandchild! And Blair and I...we're going to be together eventually. We're just... going a little out of order that's all."
"If you thought I'd be 'ecstatic,' then why were you trying to hide the book from me?" Rufus asked accusingly.
"Because it's still early in the pregnancy," Dan explained. "I wasn't necessarily trying to hide it from you. I just didn't want you to find out this way."
Rufus slammed the book on the coffee table. "You're in the middle of a nasty divorce, Dan. Your career is apparently in jeopardy. This is the last thing you need on your plate!"
Dan shook his head. "The divorce... Serena and I met yesterday. She's had a change of heart. She wants this marriage over with just as much as I do. And she's even asking her lawyer to expedite things. I should be a free man by the end of the week."
Jenny's mouth fell open in shock. "Really?"
Rufus was dubious as well. "You're absolutely sure about that, Dan? Because Serena seemed like she was out for blood the other night. Lashing out at anyone and everyone. Your sister included."
"When I spoke with her she was completely contrite. Especially about Jenny. I actually think expediting the divorce is her way of making amends."
"Guess that would explain the little 'Page Six' blurb," Jenny added. "Apparently she was having a really good time last night. Dancing her ass off at 'Pacha.'"
Dan turned to Rufus. "See? She's moving on." It was about time Jenny had something helpful to contribute.
Rufus was unmoved. "Well, let's just hope she signs the papers before she finds out about Blair. Because something tells me she's not going to be too thrilled about this," he huffed. "Just how many people know about this?"
Dan shrugged. "Um. Eleanor and Dorota. And Jenny. Now you. She's got her first prenatal appointment and ultrasound scheduled later this week," he added with a twinge of excitement.
Rufus frowned. "And what about Chuck? Even if Serena gives you a divorce, where does Blair stand with him? And just exactly how far along is she? What's going to happen when she starts showing, Dan!?"
Dan's head was spinning from all of the questions Rufus was pelting him with. "She's eight weeks. And Blair's extremely hopeful that the situation with Chuck can be resolved sooner rather than later." It wasn't exactly the truth, especially considering the most recent developments, but it definitely wasn't in Dan's best interest to tell his father otherwise.
Rufus's jaw dropped. "Eight weeks? Eight weeks?! So you're telling me she's already two months along Dan?"
"Um..." Dan muttered. When his father put it that way... "It's just an estimate."
Rufus's eyes narrowed. "New Years. When I found Blair lying on the floor of the bathroom. You told me that was food poisoning. Was that morning sickness?"
"As it turns out..."
Rufus closed his eyes. "Unbelievable!" He suddenly looked at Dan, as if considering something. "Are you sure this baby is even yours?"
"Dad!" Jenny scolded.
Rufus was unapologetic. "Remember the Georgina fiasco? And correct me if I'm wrong here, but Chuck and Blair have reunited behind your back before, haven't they?"
Dan's face was turning fifty shades of red.
"You know the Georgina situation was completely different," Jenny argued. "Blair has absolutely no reason to lie about paternity." She looked at Dan. "Maybe we should just change the topic of discussion now," she suggested. "I bet we'll all feel better if we eat something. I'll get the waffle mix!" She made her way behind the breakfast bar.
"You know what?" Dan fumed. "Don't think I have time for waffles. I need to go apartment hunting."
He began to make his way to the door. Jenny ran back around to cut him off. "Dan, wait," she pleaded, her hand just brushing his arm.
Dan ignored her, grabbing his coat and yanking his arm away. He gave his father one more bitter glance before storming out, slamming the door behind him.
Jenny turned to her father. "That was a little uncalled for, don't you think, Dad?"
Rufus glared as his phone started to ring. He checked the caller ID. "I need to take this," he said firmly. Jenny watched in disbelief as her father marched into his bedroom and closed the door behind him.
Rufus sat on the bed, trying in vain to block out the life altering news he'd just been rocked with. He took a deep breath before finally answering. "Hey," Rufus said softly
"Rufus," Lily said with a tinge of anxiety. "I am sorry to be calling you so soon after..."
"It's okay..." he said calmly. "What's wrong, Lil?"
"I can't seem to locate Serena. The door man says she never came home last night and her cell goes straight to voicemail."
Rufus contemplated this.
"Hmm. Well, Jenny says she saw a 'Page Six' post about her this morning. Apparently she was at some club called 'Pacha' last night? Maybe you could check there?"
Lily shut her eyes at the image of her daughter galavanting in some seedy nightclub. "Of course she was."
Rufus laughed quietly. This felt just like old times.
"Given the events of the other night, sounds like maybe she was just blowing off some steam, Lil. Nothing to be concerned about."
"I suppose you're right." Lily smiled at his comforting tone.
Rufus stood up from the bed. "Um...Dan told me Serena's going to try and expedite the divorce?"
There was a brief pause. "She is?"
Rufus could hear the confusion in her voice.
"Yeah," he replied. "I couldn't believe it either, actually. Dan says it could all be finalized this week."
Lily was completely stunned. "Well obviously it's the first I've heard of it." She was still pondering this when her call waiting suddenly chimed in.
Lily looked down at her phone. The I.D. read "PageSixEmily." Emily had been on Lily's speed dial since Serena was at Constance. It was one of many methods she had utilized to keep tabs on her wild child daughter, and to keep as many undesirable details of Serena's personal life from hitting the public. But these days, it was rare to get a call from her.
She took a breath. "Rufus I am so sorry. But I need to take this call."
"Okay," Rufus said. "Let me know when you track her down."
"I will, Rufus." Lily bit her lip. "And I had fun last night."
Rufus smiled into the phone. "I had fun, too. See you tonight."
As he hung up, he lay down on the bed, contemplating the events of the past half hour. He'd been harsh with Dan. And he was feeling guilty. But he was in shock.
He was going to be a grandfather.
He was too young to be a grandfather.
...
Having heard every last word of Rufus's conversation with Lily, Jenny rolled her eyes and slowly peeled her ear away from Rufus's door.
Dorota was adorned in a trench coat and sunglasses. She did a quick three-sixty scan of the waiting room at the Emerson Lab drug testing facility in Midtown. Blair had enlisted her to do a preliminary inspection of the premises while she paid a final visit to the ladies' room.
Dorota was surprised to find that there were only two people waiting ahead of Blair. One was an angry looking goth girl, complete with a nose ring and tattoo sleeves.
She snarled in Dorota's direction. Dorota slid her sunglasses down, snarling right back at her and muttering some choice Polish profanity.
The other person waiting was an older gentleman with a nasty smoker's cough. Dorota crinkled her nose in disgust.
"Dorota?" Blair called out as she made her way through the door. "Have you any hand sanitizer? That restroom was the most disgusting place I've ever seen in my life."
Blair, dressed in a tasteful, conservative gray Dior skirt suit, grabbed her stomach as she gave the goth girl a quick once over. "I cannot believe my life has come to this. Sitting in waiting rooms with mini Morticias and peeing in plastic cups."
Dorota dug around in her satchel. Seconds later she unearthed an economy sized bottle of sanitizer and a handkerchief. She opened the bottle and dispensed a generous amount into Blair's eagerly awaiting hands.
"I swear, if this facility is even half as repulsive as that so called restroom I am walking -"
Dorota's head darted up. "No, Miss Blair. You cannot. Think about Mister Henry. Drug test necessary to prove innocence and win back custody of son."
Blair reluctantly nodded.
"But here," Dorota added, handing her the handkerchief. "Suggest you place over mouth. Very germy in here. Immune system weak..." Dorota gestured over her shoulder to the man sitting in the corner who sounded like he was about to hack up a lung.
Blair crinkled her nose. Placing the hanky over her mouth, she approached the reception desk and leaned over, speaking quietly through the fabric.
"Blair Waldorf Bass. I have a nine-thirty."
The preoccupied receptionist was rifling through some papers. She didn't bother to look up.
Blair cleared her throat, trying again. "I have a nine-thirty," she announced.
There was still no response from the receptionist.
Blair removed the handkerchief from her face and snapped her fingers. "Excuse me! You! In the unfortunate peach-hued scrubs."
The receptionist looked up, clearly annoyed.
"She here for the drug testing," Dorota interjected. "She need test to regain custody of son. Miss Blair good mother and innocent victim of corrupt system and vindictive husband who screw anything and everything in immediate field of vision."
Blair's eyes widened. She whipped her head around, smiling sweetly at her loyal servant. "Thank you, Dorota. I think I can handle it from here." Dorota nodded and proceeded to have a seat next to the goth girl, gifting her with a quick scowl.
The receptionist surveyed Blair, then smirked. Blair recoiled at the gesture, feeling slightly insecure now. The woman appeared to be judging her.
She grabbed a clipboard with paperwork attached to it and handed it to Blair. "Fill this out. Don't forget to fill out the back. Bring it up when you're done," she snipped, offering Blair a pen.
She hesitantly accepted the beat up clipboard, managing to touch it only with the handkerchief. Blair dug around in her purse for her Montblanc, but before she could even take a seat next to Dorota, a dreadlocked man in a crisp white coat appeared at the door, file in hand.
"Mrs. Bass?"
Blair looked up, startled.
"How you doin'? I'm Tad. We're ready for ya."
Blair raised a surprised eyebrow. The man looked at the clipboard in Blair's hands. "You can just finish filling that out back here."
Blair gave Dorota a pleased look. "Well, at least they realize my time is valuable," she said as she walked over to Tad, eyeing the two others seated in the waiting room who'd been there far longer than she had and were subsequently giving her the stink eye because of it.
"'Powodzenia,' Miss Blair," Dorota called out.
Blair halted a few feet behind Tad as he stopped to enter a security code to the door that would lead them to the back. He ushered her through, moving out of the way so she could enter first. The sound of her heels clacking briskly on the sterile linoleum echoed through the hall.
But the clacking slowed as Blair caught sight of a familiar face standing on the check-out side of the reception desk.
It was Dan's attorney. Megan. Blair recognized that cheap, sparkly drug store eye shadow anywhere. She caught Megan flinging her last season Proenza bag over her shoulder, laughing as she chatted up the receptionist. The same one who had so rudely blown Blair off earlier.
Blair put her head down in an attempt to avoid detection, nearly colliding with Tad.
Megan looked up. "Oh hey! Blair, right?" Megan asked cheerfully.
Blair looked around, pretending like she couldn't quite pinpoint where the voice was coming from. Tad paused at Megan's greeting, giving Blair the opportunity to stop and converse. Now stuck, Blair turned to Megan and forced a smile.
"It is Blair Bass isn't it?" Megan giggled. Her bubbly demeanor was making Blair irrationally angry.
"Yes... And you are?" Blair returned snidely.
Megan's face fell at Blair's tone. "I'm Megan. Collier. I'm an attorney. I'm representing Dan Humphrey in his divorce."
Blair's eyes narrowed as she surveyed Megan's beady blue eyes, her bracelet covered arms, and her size too small Gucci blouse.
"You know I saw you at the Frick Gala the other night," Megan continued. "Unfortunately our paths never crossed."
Blair pursed her lips as she recalled Megan and her grubby little hands all over her man, straightening his tie. She had another memory flash to the picture of Megan running her fingers through Dan's hair at some hipster restaurant.
Blair smiled coolly.
"So much drama that night, right?" Megan quipped.
Blair gave an abrupt nod before glancing at Tad, trying to incite him to walk so they could get back to the business at hand.
But he was now discussing something with the receptionist.
"Yeah, Dan and I attended together," Megan continued. "Of course he took me out to dinner beforehand. I told him it wasn't necessary but he just insisted," she explained. "He is such a gentleman. And so talented. I mean the way he writes women..." She paused for a very quick second. "Total confession time. I still read 'Inside' every couple of months. That book just resonates, you know? It totally could have been about my friends and me. I was the Sabrina of our group!"
Blair could feel her eyes rolling back in her head, but refrained from commenting as she concentrated on placing her handkerchief in her purse. This woman was a babbling moron. And she had every intention of telling Dan she thought so, too.
Megan kept going. "So, Dan is definitely not hard to look at, huh? But you already know that I guess, having made all the gossip columns together over New Year's. Sorry it didn't work out by the way. Dan told me about it. I can see why he would be reluctant to be in a relationship right now. Flings can be so much fun, though, right?!"
Blair glared at her, struggling yet somehow managing to keep what she wanted to say to herself. "Right..."
Blair adjusted her purse on her shoulder. "Well, Megan. It's certainly been...something, but I'm afraid I have business to attend to now." Blair attempted to move forward once more, but Tad stood frozen in place. He had stopped chit-chatting with the receptionist, and was now busy making some notes in her file.
Megan leaned back against the reception counter. "You know, Blair, I have to say I'm surprised to see you in a place like this," she said with a chuckle. "What brings you here?"
Blair's throat tightened. Her patience for this nosy little twit had worn off some time ago.
"Well, Megan. If you must know, I'm getting my maid tested. Her job duties include usage of potentially hazardous equipment, and I just want to make sure she's operating that industrial strength floor buffer safely. She's out in the waiting room now. I am simply doing a pre-test inspection to make sure this facility is properly maintained before throwing good money down the toilet. If the restroom in the hallway is any indication, we'll be going elsewhere."
Blair shot Tad a look, warning him to just go with it.
He still wasn't paying attention.
Megan nodded. "I completely understand. In fact, that's why I'm here, too."
Blair raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Oh?"
"One of my clients was ordered to get tested here." Megan covertly leaned in to whisper in Blair's ear. Blair flinched at her sudden proximity to her face. "There's a lot on the line in this particular case if you know what I mean..."
Megan pulled away and flipped her blond ponytail behind her. "I have to say, though, from what I've seen, Emerson is a top notch facility." She looked at Tad, who was now conveniently listening again. He was grinning at her from ear to ear. She gave him a wink.
It was a gesture that Blair found completely inappropriate. And vomit inducing.
Megan turned back to Blair. "Anyway," Megan said curtly. "I shouldn't keep you." She then turned to Tad. "Thank you so much for showing me around. Impeccable work you're doing here."
She looked at Blair. "See you around, Mrs. Bass. If you need any additional help with your divorce let me know. I usually have a trick or two up my sleeve." Megan didn't bother to wait for Blair to respond before strutting out the door.
Blair felt a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Megan's comments were odd. And the sudden formality at the end was weird. And the wink she gave Tad was...
Blair shook her head. Something definitely smelled. And it wasn't just the Paris Hilton Eau de Parfum Megan had been sporting.
"Mrs. Bass? Come this way, please." It was now Tad's trying to get her attention.
Blair began to appraise Tad.
His dreadlocks.
His faded jeans.
His crisp white coat.
And his sparkling Submariner Rolex watch.
A watch that ran around seven grand.
"Nice watch. Is it new?" Tad peered down at the watch, then laughed nervously.
"Um, yeah..."
Blair's blood pressure began to spike.
Megan was completely invigorated. She skipped out of the back door of the Emerson building and into the back alley. She was so happily distracted that she didn't even notice the silhouette leaning up against the wall, watching her.
"Your blouse is way too small. And it's hideous. And that Proenza is ridiculously out of date."
A startled Megan froze in her tracks.
She cautiously turned to see where the voice was coming from.
Georgina languidly emerged from the shadows. "Much like your methods of subterfuge," she snickered, taking a calculated step towards her.
Megan swallowed anxiously. "I'm sorry...?"
"Yes, rookie. You are." Megan began to back up nervously, but Georgina and her knee high Weitzmans countered her every step.
"You know what's strange?" Georgina continued. "Oxycontin always made me feel extra euphoric. But it seems to make you extra hyper. And frankly... stupid."
"I think you might have me confused with someone else..."
Georgina smiled and shook her head. "I never confuse people, sweetie. It's kind of a gift."
Megan gulped.
"You broke the most basic rule of scheming. You lingered too long at the scene of the crime. And if that wasn't enough, you attempted to rile your intended target."
Megan chuckled nervously. "Okay, I'm not sure what you're talking about."
Georgina raised an eyebrow. "You think Blair's an idiot? I guarantee she saw right through your entire act up there. She's probably calling her attorney to get herself tested at another facility as we speak. Oh. And she's also probably calling the New York State Bar Association to report you."
Georgina's brilliant blue eyes were flashing with excitement now. "Which is kind of a problem, isn't it?" she continued, smiling at Megan knowingly. "Seeing as you have yet to pass the bar. Two attempts and counting. Yikes."
Megan was starting to shake. "What? Of course I have...I passed the bar. I'm...I'm sorry I have a meeting to get to..."
Georgina sighed. "Not so fast. Unless, in addition to wanting the world to know you aren't a real attorney, you also want them to hear about your nasty little Oxy habit."
"What?" Megan's lip trembled. "That's absurd. I am a real attorney. And I have never done Oxycontin!"
"Keep telling yourself that," Georgina cackled. "But I have it on the highest authority that Oxy's what got you relieved of your duties when you clerked for our esteemed Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. An internship Daddy pulled some major strings to get you."
Megan covered her mouth, now starting to realize just what she was dealing with.
"Daddy's going to be absolutely miffed to learn that the addiction he thought you kicked back at Chapin has returned. And just wait 'til he finds out you paid off Miss Kelly, a desperate government worker with a massive online gambling debt, not to mention an entire drug testing facility filled with minimum wage workers, to look the other way while you planted a vial of your own Oxy laced urine and labeled it with the name 'Blair Waldorf Bass.' But then again, I don't think Daddy will be completely surprised. You do have quite a history of switching out urine samples, don't you?"
Megan's mouth was fully agape.
Georgina pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she began to walk towards her again, eliminating what little space was left between them.
"Look. I get why you did it. Why you begged Daddy to let you have Dan's case. Your very first case. I'm very familiar with Dan Humphrey. Very familiar."
Megan looked like she was about to hyperventilate.
"In every way imaginable. Did you know he can make a woman climax without even penetrating her? His fingers are lithe, dexterous, gifted... And he uses them in a way which, to this day, I've never encountered with any other man. It must be from all the typing." She paused for a moment. "Don't even get me started on his tongue."
Megan's eyes closed shut.
Georgina smirked. "Back in college, Dan was responsible for my first multiple orgasm." She closed her eyes as if reliving the experience right there in the alley.
"But I digress... What I'm saying is the lengths you're going to in order to extinguish the competition are completely understandable. Admirable even. Weak, but admirable. And ultimately futile. Dan will never be into you, Megan. He had the original recipe. He chewed it up and spit it out. You're just a cheaper, shorter knockoff. With a nasty pill habit. And you have absolutely no shot with him whatsoever."
Megan sniffed, trying with all her might to avoid bursting into tears, silently begging for the torture to end.
Georgina wasn't quite finished, though. "So back to the reason we're having this little conversation... I need you to stay away from Blair. And Dan."
"But I'm... I'm Dan's attorney..."
Georgina burst into laughter. "Oh you! I thought we just covered that." Georgina suddenly got serious. "Let's try this again. You are not a real attorney. So what you're going to do when you get back to your shoebox sized Upper Westie is call Daddy and tell him he's going to have to take over Dan's case. You're going to tell him you need to return to rehab. It was sweet while it lasted, Megan, but your time with Dan is officially up."
Georgina began to leave, but paused, staring her down. "And if you fail to do exactly what I say, Daddy is going to find out about everything you've done. Or haven't done. If you catch my drift. And I do mean everything. And you will probably go to jail. Do you understand?"
A terrified Megan nodded, her eyes blinking rapidly.
"Terrific." She gave Megan a condescending smirk. "Guess my work here is done."
Megan watched, breathless, as Georgina confidently marched away, her long braid swinging back and forth onto Fifth Avenue.
"You didn't have to storm out like that! Dad would have come around," Jenny chastised Dan as she took a sip of her latte. He didn't bother to look up. He was too busy scanning through 'New York Magazine's' real estate section, periodically circling and crossing through listings.
He sighed in exasperation and chugged back his coffee. "Why is it that there are only one bedrooms available on the Upper East Side these days?"
"Ummm... maybe because nobody's dying?" Jenny quipped. "And aren't you going to need to sell the apartment you have with Serena first, anyway? How are you going to afford a second apartment?"
Dan didn't respond. He continued to circle.
Jenny crossed her arms. "Dan, I really think we should talk about what happened earlier."
"Here's a one bedroom, but it has an office and a library. And it has park views. Do you think Blair would be okay with that? I mean, we could easily turn the office or the library into a nursery, right?"
"Dan..."
"No, you're right. Blair would never go for it. I need to think bigger. Much bigger." Dan suddenly made a face. "I forgot about Henry," he groaned.
"Dan!"
Dan's head sprung up. He was clenching his fists now. "Jenny, considering everything that happened this morning was your fault, maybe you should stop yelling at me and just start apologizing."
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't do it on purpose. But I honestly never thought Dad would respond that way..."
"Well, neither did I." Dan rubbed his chin. "I get his concern, but I thought he'd be at least a little excited." Dan circled another listing.
Jenny bit her lip. "I think there might be something else going on. Something related. But not related. You know?"
Dan scrunched his brow in annoyance at his sister's cryptic comments. "Uh, no. I really don't."
Jenny leaned in. "I overheard him talking to someone after you left..."
Dan sighed. He really didn't have time for his sister's theatrics.
"It was Lily," she continued.
Dan rubbed his neck as he pondered this. Rufus had been on fairly good terms with his ex-wife for a while now, though their kids' current situation had certainly changed the complexion of things in the past couple of months.
"Okay," he shrugged. "So?"
Jenny deflated. "So? That's all you have to say? I heard him talking to her about plans. To meet. And I think that..."
There was another dramatic Jenny pause.
"I think he was with her last night. All night."
"Come on..." Dan rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his coffee.
"I'm serious, Dan. That look on his face this morning. I think he 'got some.' Or he's planning to get some. And he's going to get it from Lily."
Dan nearly choked on his coffee. "There's no way. Not after the way things ended last time. And do you even realize what a hypocrite that would make him?"
"But it would explain his reaction somewhat," Jenny argued. "Think about it. Serena is Lily's daughter. Having a baby with Blair is going to devastate Lily's daughter. Therefore devastating Lily."
That was some twisted logic, even for Jenny.
Dan grabbed his head with both hands and closed his eyes, letting out a low foghorn sounding moan. He started to bang his head on the table.
Jenny looked around, embarrassed. "Dan, stop..."
Dan quit banging, but didn't bother to look up. "I cannot deal with this right now okay? I just…I can't!"
She gave her brother a sympathetic look. "Tell me what's really wrong Dan. I know you didn't want to tell me earlier, but...I mean Serena's giving you a divorce right? So what's the problem?"
Dan peered up at her and gave a strained smile.
Jenny rested her head on her hand. "Let me guess. Starts with a B?"
Dan nodded.
"Ends with an R?"
Dan nodded again.
Jenny took a sip of her latte. "So what did she do now?"
Dan shook his head. "I don't even know. But she's keeping something from me. And I think she flat out lied to me last night."
"'Something'...something Chuck related?"
"Possibly. But most definitely Georgina related."
"Georgina?" Jenny was confused. "Isn't she in Australia?"
Dan chewed on his thumbnail, deep in thought, and then suddenly froze. He covered his mouth and looked at Jenny as if something just occurred to him. "Shit. The pictures..."
"Pictures?" Jenny gave him a puzzled look. "What pictures?"
"She was the one! The one harassing me! With the photos. The ones I accused you of taunting me with! It was Georgina. This whole time it was freaking Georgina! How could it have not occurred to me? I mean it has her crazy ass stamp all over it!"
Dan covered his face again and let out a strangled cry. "Which means Georgina knows about Blair. About the pregnancy." He looked up. "Georgina knows. Oh my God... Georgina fucking knows! This is so bad..."
Jenny looked at him. "I don't understand. How...?"
Dan leaned back in the booth and threw his hands in the air. "I don't have a clue. But it's what she does for a living." Dan gave another long groan. "She must be blackmailing Blair somehow."
"But why would Blair be in a good mood if she was being blackmailed?" Jenny questioned.
"I don't know. But Georgina could ruin everything. What if she goes to Serena? Or worse. Chuck?" Dan closed his eyes again. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
"So what are you going to do?" Jenny was finally starting to see the gravity of the situation.
Dan stared out the window. "I have no fucking clue."
Nate leaned back in his chair at 'The Spectator.' He was in the middle of an intense game of wastebasket hoops using crumbled up pieces of paper.
"Swish!" he yelled as he sent one crumbled up ball in without touching the sides. "Boo yah!"
He stood up and did a little celebratory dance, pretending to dust off his sleeves. "And the crowd goes wild!" He looked down at his phone to see an incoming text from a number he didn't recognize. He squinted to read the message.
"'The Post' didn't have the balls to run this. Perhaps you do?"
Nate looked on as a photo of Serena downloaded onto his phone
"Serena...?"
Realization spread over his face when he saw what she was doing; exchanging a wad of cash for a baggie of coke.
"Oh shit."
Nate frantically picked up his phone and dialed Serena's number. It went straight to voicemail.
"Serena, it's Nate. I need you to call me when you get this message. Please." He then scrolled through his phone, finally landing on Dan's number. This time the phone simply rang and rang before eventually going to voicemail.
"Dan, man. Call me back. We have a huge problem."
"What happened back there, Miss Blair?" Dorota called out. She was a few paces behind, struggling to keep up as Blair blazed out of the Emerson building, leaving a trail of fire behind her.
"I'll explain later, Dorota. I need to see Randall now."
"Blair! There's my sweet baby girl!"
Blair and Dorota paused, looking at each other in confusion. They turned around to see Georgina waving her hands excitedly, shoving aside pedestrians and racing towards them on the sidewalk.
Blair frowned. She wasn't supposed to meet with Georgina until later in the evening. And right now she had other pressing matters to deal with. Like annihilating Megan Collier.
Blair had just figured out why she'd lost custody of her son. It wasn't because of Chuck. It wasn't because of Serena. It was because of Megan. It was a sneak attack she never saw coming. She'd only even heard Megan Collier's name for the first time days earlier. She didn't know how the pint sized bumbling blonde bimbo could even accomplish such a feat. She obviously had some help, though.
And from the stalker-ish way she had spoken about Dan, Blair knew why.
But the "why" of it wasn't really important now. Megan was public enemy number one. Blair was going to ruin the psychotic little bitch.
Georgina finally caught up with them and pulled Blair into a giant hug. "What are you doing here, Georgina?" Blair asked nervously as she exchanged a glance with Dorota. "I'm kind of in a hurry."
Georgina smiled. "Just thought I'd stop by to see if you're hungry. Take my favorite niece out to an early lunch."
Dorota raised an eyebrow as she watched Georgina link arms with Blair. "It only ten o'clock," Dorota said suspiciously.
Georgina ignored Dorota's comment. "I just ran into Dan's divorce attorney. I think her name is Megan?"
A stunned Blair looked at Georgina.
Georgina was gleefully smiling back at her.
Blair calmly turned back to Dorota. "You know what, Dorota? I think I could go for some lunch now. Why don't you go ahead and go back home? Get started on your chores."
Dorota eyed Blair quizzically. "But you just say you have to see attorney -"
"I do. And I will. Right after lunch."
Dorota wasn't entirely convinced, but she acquiesced anyway. "Well, I do have extra laundry today." She made a face. "Very, very sticky duvet in laundry room."
Georgina smirked and gave Blair a knowing grin.
"Will you be home for dinner Miss Blair?" Dorota asked.
Blair exchanged a glance with Georgina, who was shaking her head, indicating for her to tell Dorota no. "Um. I don't think so. Remember I have my visit with Henry tonight."
Dorota gave her another concerned look.
"Go, Dorota. I'll be fine," Blair insisted, waving her away.
Dorota shot Georgina one more warning glimpse before making her way down the sidewalk to hail a cab; taking her time.
When Dorota was out of earshot, Blair turned to Georgina. "What are you really doing here, Georgina? I thought we weren't meeting until after my visit?"
"Don't sound so disappointed, Blair," Georgina replied. "Just had a feeling you could use some help. And I was right. Megan is not going to be causing any more problems for you. You're welcome by the way."
"You mean she won't be causing any more problems when I get through with her," Blair corrected.
Georgina huffed. "There's nothing left for you to do, Blair. I told you. I took care of it."
"She's the reason I lost my son, Georgina!" Blair shrieked. "I am the only one who gets to take care of it!"
Georgina kept her cool. "The girl left a conspicuous trail of breadcrumbs right to her doorstep. You can't be focusing on amateurs like Megan right now when you have much bigger fish to fry."
"My son is the only 'fish' I care about right now. That woman had pills planted on me. And then she tried to sabotage my drug test! I simply cannot think about anything else right now until I get my son back, okay?"
Georgina rolled her eyes. "Blair, how many ways do I have to tell you? I took care of it. We had a little discussion in the alley. She's running for her life right now. Trust me."
Blair closed her eyes, still visibly distressed.
Georgina frowned. She could feel her usually non-existent maternal instincts kicking in, and began to pat Blair on the shoulder. "There, there," she said almost robotically. "Just breathe. You'll get another drug test. You'll get your son back. And that will be that. No biggie."
She tried to give Blair a moment, but patience wasn't Georgina's strong suit. "Listen, Blair. Right now, I need you to shift your attention towards getting us our divorces. Alejandro wants you to play Chuck the recordings when you go to visit Henry tonight."
"Tonight?" Blair gulped. "He wants me to do it...tonight?"
Georgina nodded. "Yep. Unfortunately it's probably going to get ugly. You'll also have to inform him that his uncle has been making quite a few lucrative deals behind his back."
Blair's face was as white as a sheet. "But I didn't think... I mean I didn't know this would all be happening so soon. Or like this. And not with my son around."
She had been eager to get down to business ever since Georgina first let her listen to one of the recordings. But now that she actually had the green light to go ahead and confront Chuck about his shady business dealings, she was having second thoughts. And now with this Megan thing…at the very least, she figured she'd have more time to plan out exactly what she was going to say.
Not to mention, Chuck was probably still seething from their episode in the park. She could imagine him erupting into a fit of rage after she shared with him what she knew.
"It just seems really quick..." Blair said uneasily.
"It has to be quick, Blair. Look. I told Alejandro I could get this done. That we could get this done. Please don't make me look like a liar."
Blair covered her eyes. "I still don't understand what Chuck was thinking..." she groaned.
"It's simple," Georgina replied. "He wasn't. All he cared about was keeping his precious company. Through any means necessary. And he sacrificed you and your son to do it."
Georgina's words stung. After what had been an already emotional day, she could feel herself on the edge of a breakdown. Tears were welling up in her eyes.
"Don't get all hormonal on me now," Georgina admonished as she searched through her bag and pulled out a Kleenex, handing it to Blair. "Not when we can see the finish line."
Blair began to dab at her eyes.
"That thing in your belly," Georgina warned. "It can't be cured with antibiotics. Or a topical ointment. It's a living growing being."
Blair took a deep breath.
"And I hate to tell you this, but you're already starting to show," Georgina added. "I'm pretty sure your boobs have grown at least one full size since the weekend."
Blair's mouth fell open in protest as she looked down to survey them.
"Look, I understand the apprehension. Chuck has always been a hard habit for you to break. But everyone is just trying to get what they deserve, here. Alejandro deserves the money Chuck owes him. Plus interest. I deserve to get half of everything Jack owns. And you deserve to have a long, happy life with Dan Humphrey." She strained at her last comment.
Blair sniffed and wiped a rogue tear away. She looked at Georgina. "I never thought I'd hear myself saying this... but you're right."
Georgina gave as sincere a smile as she could muster. "Of course I am."
Blair took a moment to button up her coat and adjust her scarf and gloves.
"We'll review how you're going to handle Chuck over lunch. Now, on to another pressing matter. Just what is baby Humphrey in the mood for?" Georgina began to prod Blair down Fifth Avenue. "And please don't say Pierogis. It's your treat by the way."
A still dazed and now very confused Megan stepped out from around the corner of the Emerson building, eyebrows raised.
"Baby Humphrey?"
Serena glanced around, squinting as she tried to get her bearings. She looked out the window and took a deep breath. Her eyes drifted to the alarm clock.
Four-fifteen.
Serena clenched her head as she tried to remember just where she was and how exactly she got here.
Hotel room...
Possibly Battery Park...
Possibly the Ritz Carlton...
Definitely the Penthouse.
Serena peered under the covers and cringed. Yep. Naked as a jaybird. She collapsed back against the pillows and glimpsed over at her dress lying in a ball on the floor.
She slowly moved to get out of bed, wrapping the bed sheet tightly around her, a giant rush of a hangover engulfing her.
The coke was long gone, but a rolled up hundred dollar bill and the Manhattan City guide that had been used to snort it lay nearby.
There were also three empty bottles of Lambrusco on the floor at the foot of the bed. And sitting on the dresser was a plain, white envelope with her name written across it. Serena calmly reached for it and looked inside. Her eyes expanded as she pulled out a fistful of crisp hundred dollar bills. There was a note attached.
It was in Italian, but Serena could still vaguely understand.
"Ti volga nel mio letto nuovo stasera."
In other words...
"I want you in my bed again tonight."
A stunned Serena quickly tossed the envelope back on the dresser and let the sheet fall to the carpet. She scrambled to put her dress back on, then grabbed her undergarments and stuffed them into her clutch. On the way out, she grabbed her Viviers and shoved them under her arms before flinging open the door.
Serena gasped, startled by a woman standing before her, blocking her egress. The woman was tall, even taller than Serena, and probably in her late forties. She was an extremely regal looking red head, impeccably dressed in a navy blue Armani business suit. She had a sleek, shoulder length bob.
The elegant woman began to size Serena up.
"Hello," Serena greeted bashfully.
"Hello yourself," the woman replied, amused.
There was an awkward pause as Serena tried to figure out what the woman was doing just standing there at the door and staring at her.
"Um. Excuse me..." Serena finally said, attempting to slide past her.
The woman smiled. "Sorry. You're not going anywhere, Serena."
Georgina sat on the couch, guzzling her glass of Dom. Alejandro was seated next to her, texting furiously.
"My, your hands work that Blackberry quickly," she said in a sultry tone. She began to run her fingers down his lapels.
He didn't seem to notice.
Georgina frowned. "I guess Blair should be arriving at Chuck's..." She looked down at her phone to check the time. And coincidentally, it began to ring. "Right about now..." Her voice drifted off when she realized who it was.
Dan Humphrey.
Shit.
Or maybe it wasn't a coincidence.
A look of anxiety swept over Georgina's face. A look that didn't escape Alejandro.
"Who is it?" he demanded in his sharp Colombian accent.
"No one. It's just. It's Dan." Georgina forced a smile. She pressed decline on her phone. "No one to be concerned about," she said as she chugged the rest of her champagne.
"Who is Dan?" Alejandro pressed.
Georgina gave him a reassuring look. "Just the man Blair is leaving Chuck for. Completely harmless," she explained. She reached for the bottle of Dom and poured herself a refill. "He's a writer."
Alejandro eyed her dubiously. "If he's so harmless, then why don't you answer?"
Georgina shrugged. "Because I'm focusing on you right now, my love."
Alejandro sat up straight and leaned into her. "Call him back," he instructed, gesturing to the phone.
"What?" Georgina laughed nervously.
"I want you to call him back," he said in a slow, patronizing tone. "I want to know what he wants."
Georgina fidgeted uncomfortably. "Okay. Well I will…I will just do that… I will just step outside for a moment and..." She started to get up, but Alejandro placed a firm hand on her arm, holding her in place.
"I want you to call him right here."
Georgina gulped. "Okay..." she said awkwardly, taking a long, deep breath. She swigged back her second glass of champagne of the night and placed her empty flute on the table before hesitantly hitting the redial button.
"Put it on speaker," Alejandro commanded.
She reluctantly did as she was told.
Dan answered on the first ring.
"Georgina!?" Dan's voice nearly blasted her eardrum.
"Dan! G'day mate!" Georgina chirped. "You rang me?"
Alejandro watched her closely.
"Save it, Georgina," Dan spat. "I know you're in New York."
"What? I'm not in New York, silly! You must have forgotten that I'm a bona fide Aussie now. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on your part," she teased. Georgina winked playfully at an unamused Alejandro.
"Okay, now you're just getting sloppy," Dan shot back. "Dorota saw you in Midtown a few hours ago."
Alejandro's eyes narrowed on her and Georgina winced with embarrassment.
Damn Dorota!
"True or false?" Dan continued. "You've been taking pictures of Blair and me for the past month and harassing us with them. You sent me a picture of a GOD DAMNED STORK!"
Georgina could feel Alejandro's eyes of steel piercing through her. "Okay, Dan...let's just...let's just calm down here. It was a simple message of congratulations."
She smiled at Alejandro, mouthing to him, "He's cray cray."
"I don't have time for games right now, Georgina. Is Blair with you? Put her on the phone."
Georgina let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Sorry. Blair's not with me."
"Where the hell is she?" Dan snapped.
Georgina heaved a heavy sigh. "How would I know Dan? I'm not Blair's keeper."
"Dorota says you were taking her to lunch."
"Well, that was hours ago. But you know now that you mention it, I think she said something about stopping by her attorney's office or something...?"
Dan sighed, annoyed. "That's what Dorota said. Except she never made it."
"Um, just a thought," Georgina mused. "Have you tried calling her?"
"If I had simply called her, Georgina, I'd be missing out on this ignominiously mind numbing conversation with you, now wouldn't I?"
Georgina pursed her lips together. "I don't think I care for the sarcasm, Dan."
Dan was about to lose it. "I want to know where she is and why you were texting her last night."
Georgina played dumb. "Last night? Texting?"
Alejandro leaned back into the couch, growing increasingly interested by the conversation. And perturbed. His eyes had yet to leave hers.
"GEORGINA...!" Dan roared.
"Fine, Dan. Fine. I'll tell you the truth. Blair texted me because she needed a woman to confide in. About women's things. Obviously Serena is no longer an option for her, and let's face it. What other female friends does she have?" she asked with a snort.
"You really expect me to believe she was confiding in you?"
"I speak the truth, Dan," Georgina replied bluntly.
"Why did you text her, 'It's done?' What was that referring to?"
Georgina huffed. "I'm sure Blair would just be thrilled to know that you've been reading her private texts."
She looked at Alejandro and shook her head. She mouthed to him, "So jealous."
Alejandro was unmoved.
"Georgina," Dan said with gritted teeth. "I'm going to give you two seconds to tell me-"
"I'm sorry, Dan," she said, suddenly cutting him off. "I can't hear you. I think I'm about to run out of battery..."
"Wait. Georgina, tell me what the hell is going on!" Dan screamed into the phone.
And with that, Georgina hung up. She looked at Alejandro and forced a smile. "Good ole Dan."
Alejandro was now twirling his phone in his hands. He was not pleased.
"It would seem this 'Dan' is right about you, Georgina. You have been sloppy."
Georgina trembled as he threw his phone against the wall, shattering it to pieces.
Blair peeked into her bag and took a deep breath before tentatively knocking on the door of the home she'd shared with Chuck for the past seven years. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, Chuck finally opened the door.
He glared at his wife. "You're not supposed to be here yet," he said bluntly. "The monitor isn't due for another hour and a half."
"I know but..." She paused. "I need to talk to you, Chuck."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Is that Blair?" a lecherous voice called out from just behind the door. Jack soon appeared in all his smarmy glory. His face lit up as he spotted her, giving her his signature oily smile.
"I thought I recognized that voice. Hello, sweetheart. What brings you by our humble abode?" Jack took a moment to leer at her.
Blair gulped. So he was staying here? With her son? She closed her eyes briefly. "I actually needed to speak to Chuck. In private." She could feel her hands starting to shake.
Jack smirked. "Oh. I see. Guess someone's finally come to her senses. You gonna give my nephew another shot, huh?" He turned to Chuck. "Talk to the woman," he urged. "I can keep my eye on the kid for a minute."
"We can just talk here," Blair quickly added. She definitely didn't want to leave her son in the hands of that.
"Sorry. Not in a real chatty mood," Chuck said cooly. "And as I said. You're not supposed to be here yet. So why don't you leave and come back in ninety minutes? When the monitor is here. When you're supposed to be here. Before I call my attorney and have you thrown in jail."
Jack stifled an amused laugh.
"Chuck, please. It will just take a minute." Blair could feel her hormones kicking in. And she was getting emotional.
"Come on Chuckie," Jack pleaded on her behalf. "Don't make the woman beg. Not out here anyway." He winked at her suggestively.
Chuck studied her face, and noticed her trembling hands. "Fine. In the office. You have exactly two minutes." He grudgingly moved out of the way so she could come inside.
"Atta boy," Jack called out, patting his nephew on the back.
Never took your side, never cursed your name
I keep my lips shut tight, until you go
We've come as far, as we're ever gonna get
Until you realize that you should go
Blair meandered slowly behind as Chuck led the way. She was a stranger in her own home. And being treated as such.
"What do you want, Blair?" Chuck asked curtly, choosing to stop and lean up against the doorframe as Blair walked inside his office. She turned around to face him.
Blair closed her eyes, trying to conjure up the courage to do what she needed to do. "You probably need to shut the door for this," she suggested.
"Why?"
"Please. Just do it, Chuck."
Chuck shot her a look, but did as she requested.
Blair's eyes drifted to Chuck's desk. She spotted the divorce papers Randall had sent over weeks ago just sitting there. Untouched. And more importantly, unsigned.
Chuck plopped himself down on the leather sofa.
Blair bit her lip, turning back around to face him. "I owe you an apology, Chuck," she suddenly blurted. She had no idea where that statement came from. She was already veering completely off Georgina's script. And she had no logical explanation for it.
Chuck gave an amused snort. "Oh?"
"I know you weren't responsible for my losing custody of Henry," she explained.
Chuck crossed his legs. "I'm not supposed to be discussing this with you."
"Right. I know that," Blair said softly. "I just wanted you to know. I don't blame you."
Chuck rolled his eyes. "Well. Guess I can rest easy now..."
She closed her eyes, her hands shaking furiously now. It was impossible for Chuck not to notice. He watched them - and her - growing increasingly disturbed.
His facial expression softened. "Um. You want me to take your coat?" Chuck stood up from the couch, approaching her with tentative concern.
Blair's eyes flew open and she pulled the coat even more tightly around her. She was officially paranoid now since Georgina's comments about her breast size. "No!" she snapped. "It's chilly in here."
Chuck furrowed his brow. The thermostat was set to seventy and there was a fucking fire crackling in the fireplace. He threw his hands in the air, figuring she just didn't want him touching her.
He walked over to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. "So is that all you came here to say?"
Blair pursed her lips. "Not exactly..." Her eyes were now back on the divorce papers.
"Maybe you want to also apologize for your other comments. The comments in the park yesterday? For threatening to kill me?"
"Chuck, I never threatened -"
"Really? Cause that's what it sounded like."
There was an awkward pause.
Blair sighed. "Chuck, the divorce papers are on your desk..." She was hopelessly off the grid now. And she had absolutely no idea how she was going to get back on.
"Quite the keen eye you have." Chuck slugged back his Scotch and immediately poured himself another.
"You know you could just sign them," Blair said. "End all of this... For Henry. We can share custody of our child. We don't have to be miserable. You know you're just prolonging the inevitable anyway..."
Chuck eyed her. "Maybe you're right, Blair. But I think you should suffer a little more."
Blair shook her head. "You don't mean that..."
"I absolutely mean it. And here's the other thing," Chuck added with a demonic glint. "I'm not sharing custody with you, Blair. I want full custody of my son. Full. Permanent. Custody. And I'm well on my way to getting it. The courts think you're a pill popper. And you obviously have some serious issues you're dealing with. Issues my son has no business seeing. Issues I don't see the courts turning a blind eye to."
Blair looked at him. "You've got to be kidding me. I had food poisoning, Chuck!"
"Really? You've had food poisoning since New Year's? Look at the way you're shaking! You need help." He looked at his watch. "Now. I believe your two minutes are up."
Blair took a deep breath. "Fine, Chuck. I tried. Just so you know, it didn't have to be like this."
Chuck looked at her in confusion.
She was a woman possessed now as she turned around and slammed her bag on Chuck's desk, knocking over a framed picture of their family and a number of desk ornaments. She yanked a clasped, manila envelope out of her bag.
"Fuck, Blair! What the hell are you doing!?"
Blair had the same demented look on her face that she'd had in the park.
"You owe some people some money Chuck. And I'm here to collect."
I'm in misery where you can seem as old as your omens
And the mother we share will never keep your proud head from falling
The way is long but you can make it easy on me
And the mother we share will never keep our cold hearts from calling
This chapter was a little all over the place, but I'm working towards denouement now. And I know there weren't any Dan and Blair scenes, but there should be some good ones coming in the next chapters.
Song lyrics were "The Mother We Share" by CHVRCHES.
Please review! I always love to read your thoughts:) If I ever go this long without an update again, feel free to PM me. I should at least be able to give you a little morsel to tide you over ;)
A sincere thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who follows this story. It truly is a labor of love.
XOXO,
Erin