Chapter 21 – A Day at the Cullen's

It was Saturday morning and I was knocking on Bella's door with a cup of coffee to bring her to our house for the day. I had never felt as human as I did now. My emotions were fluctuating all over the place - nerves, excitement, fear, trepidation, joy, hope, and even sadness. We had never had just one human in our house before, and never one that knew what we were. The only humans that ever came over were occasional dinner guests from the hospital that Carlisle invited over. He did so as rarely as he could get away with and still maintain a polite respected façade. No one ever stayed more than four hours.

But today, today Bella was coming for the entire day. She was coming and none of us needed to pretend when she was there. We didn't have to move as a slow pace; we didn't have to remember to fidget so that our unusual stillness wasn't notice; we could be what we were and Bella could be part of it.

Bella opened her door dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Fall was settling in and the days were slowly getting cooler. I held up the cup of coffee towards Bella and she blushed and whispered a quiet thanks. I directed her to my car with a hand on the small of her back and noted her small shiver. I held the car door open for her and she gave me a small smile.

When I got in my car Bella looked at me. "Can I ask you something?"

I started the car, and while looking at her I backed out of her driveway and started driving down the road. "You can ask me anything." I said as sincerely as I could.

"Umm first can you look at the road!" Bella practically shouted.

I laughed. "Bella I promise I won't get in an accident. I can drive the entire way with my eyes closed and never so much as cross the line."

Bella blanched, "Please don't do that. I'd really like to see you watch the road."

I laughed again. "Ok Bella, I'll watch the road just for you. Now what did you want to ask?"

Bella was watching me and the road, obviously still worried that I would try to drive with my eyes closed. She glanced at me again and I raised my eyebrow in question to her. "Oh yeah, um. . . can I ask, how old are you?"

I sighed. Here was the conundrum, I wanted to share everything with Bella, purge myself and let a human, this beautiful angel that wasn't repulsed by what I was or the monster within me, see me. Yet, I knew there would come a time when something would be too much and she could no longer deal with it. I had wondered since she found out and said she would stay what the tipping point would be. What would make her realize that we were all monsters dressed in sheep's clothing?

Bella stuttered out. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I just, I don't know if I'm being rude, I guess . . . I just . . . I'll stop. I'm sorry."

I groaned. My insecurities made her feel bad. Could I be more of a cad? "No Bella, you've done nothing wrong and I told you to ask me anything. I just don't know how you are going to take my answers to some things; that's all." I glanced at her and she nodded. "I was born in 1901 and turned when I was 17 in 1918. Does that help answer your question?" I could see Bella doing the math in her head of how old I was. There was no disgust or fear in her eyes only curiosity.

"So you'll always be a teenager?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll never age past where I was when I was turned."

Bella nodded. "Thanks." She smiled at me.

I looked at her and she seemed so content. How could she think I would deny her anything if ti allowed me to see her looking like she did right now? "Was there a specific reason for your asking?" I smelled the blood run to her face so I knew she was blushing again. Surprisingly I was dealing with it better than I thought I would in the enclosed space of the car. I credited it to our conversation. I was so focused on her as a human and not a meal that the burn wasn't taking over. It was there and hurt, but wasn't overpowering. When I glanced at her or heard her sweet voice, I found I could control myself better. The fact that I had feasted like a gluttonous pig last night helped as well; I was still uncomfortably full and felt the blood sloshing in my stomach. "I'm sorry, it just seemed like you had a specific reason for asking."

Bella blushed harder. "It sounds stupid. Never mind."

"Please tell me."

Bella huffed a breath out. "You're such a gentleman all the time. So conscientious and I just wondered if it came from a past time. That's all."

I nodded, "Yes, I came from a time when boys were raised to court women and hold them in high esteem. Don't get me wrong I believe in equal pay for equal work but when I hold a door for a lady it's not because I don't think she's capable or too delicate to do so. It's because I want to, because I think she's better than something so maudlin and trite." I snorted. "In all my years on Earth I've learned that the fairer sex is far from weak. The difference between how I act, and how people in the early 1900's acted, is that I choose who I hold doors for. I don't think that just anyone is worth the gesture. Take Jessica, with her bitterness and vile disregard for others, I don't feel the need to do even the smallest gesture for her. My kindhearted mother would most assuredly be disappointed to know; but to me, respect and regard must be earned, or I should say it can be lost. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt; but since I can read the thoughts of those around me, it isn't hard for me to know if a person is worth the bother."

Bella simply nodded and looked out the window. What was she thinking? Was she upset with what I had said? It was the truth; though I didn't tell her it had been years since I bothered to care enough what was in any girl's head to determine if I should hold a door for one or not.

We made it to my house and I saw Bella's eyes open wide taking it in. I looked at it and tried to decide how it must look to her, as an outsider. It was much bigger than Bella's house, then again there were seven full grown adults living here. I liked the house. Every house we lived in was different depending on the mood that Esme was in; some were classical, some architectural art, others very modern. This house was a mesh of modern with a splash of classical thrown in. There were windows everywhere and each bedroom had its own balcony.

I parked and got out at a normal vampire pace and went to Bella's side of the car to open her door before she even registered I had moved. She blinked at me in shock. I laughed again. "Welcome to our world. Bella. This is the one place we don't have to hide what we are. I hope that's ok with you?" I held my hand out for her to take and she tentatively placed hers in mine, smiling.

"Yeah, be whoever you are; I think I can handle it."

I took note of where everyone was. Esme was in the kitchen making a cup of tea for Bella, hoping it would relax her; Alice and Rose were in Alice's room putting the finishing touches on some make-up and skin cleaners they planned on subjecting Bella to later; and the guys were all in the front room playing the Wii.

We walked in the front door and I placed my hand on Bella's back once again guiding her and she once again shivered, I didn't understand as my hand was barely touching her and it was through her shirt, there was no reason such a brief touch should chill her like it did or send her heart racing.

When we turned to the front room, Jasper and Carlisle got up and stood with smiles on their face; Emmett threw down the remote and looked at Bella smiling. "Bella! We've been waiting for you!"

Bella screamed and backed up against me. She turned quickly seeing me and I placed my hands on her arms to steady her and she screamed louder. The room stopped, minus Bella's screams. My sisters had flown down the stairs and were watching and Esme stood in the doorway from the kitchen. We were all at a loss having no clue what was going on. Bella backed away from me and walked herself back against the wall until she hit a corner and dropped to the floor pulling her knees into her. At this point she was hyperventilating and kept saying, "Please don't hurt me" over and over.

Rose watched and took in the entire scene and spoke vehemently in a decibel that Bella couldn't hear. "What the hell were you thinking? We all know Bella freaks out around men and here you bring her into a house of vampires and lead her to a room where there are 3 huge males and one behind her. No wonder she can't deal."

Everyone's thoughts were upset. Emmett was tearing at his hair thinking this was his fault. Carlisle was shaking his head knowing Rose was right and being in a room with 4 males would set her off and he felt guilty that he didn't think of that. "Everyone out expect Esme and Edward. I'll go to my study to keep track; the rest of you go hunt for a bit or something."

Everyone cleared out and Esme and I were left with a Bella who was still screaming and panicked. I started speaking softly, just loud enough for her to hear over her screams, words of calm and peace. I knew at this point the words themselves weren't as important as the tone. Esme watched and slowly started approaching Bella, also speaking so Bella knew she was there. It didn't seem that our words were having any affect and Bella's breathing was becoming more labored. I kept watching, willing her to calm down, not knowing what to do. Finally her eyes found mine and the terror and fear in them literally brought me to my knees. I looked away unable to see the pain any longer. "What happened to you?" I asked not meaning to say it out loud.

"They killed me." She strangled out with a hoarse voice and then she passed out. I caught her before she could hit the ground. I was a mess. What did she mean? Was she ok? What should we do?

I heard Esme call out for Carlisle and he was by us in a flash placing a hand on my arm in reassurance. It's ok Edward, she's going to be ok. He continued out loud so Esme could hear. "It's probably better that she hyperventilated to the point of passing out. I was wondering if she would need to be sedated. Something triggered and she needs to have a mental time out, for lack of a better way of defining it. She'll come to in a little bit when her mind has gotten past whatever nightmare she was dealing with. For now let's get her comfortable."

I nodded and reached down and picked her up. "Carlisle? She's so small, I knew she had lost weight but right now, fully dressed she isn't even 90 pounds! We have to do something." Carlisle's mind was in a whirlwind of what they could do and what Bella needed and what was the greatest priority.

I carried Bella to our couch and sat holding her in my arms, just feeling her slight weight on me and the heat coming off her body helped calm my fears. She would be ok; I would make her ok. I looked at Carlisle for answers. He was on the phone telling Jasper what happened and informing them that they should all come home.

Esme looked at me. "Are you ok? Do you want me to take her?" I growled. Esme threw her hands up. "I was just making sure. I know it has to be difficult for you to be holding her like that; that's all I meant."

I sighed pulling Bella ever so slightly closer, conscious of exactly how much pressure I was putting on her human body so I didn't crush it. "I know Esme. I'm sorry. It's ok though; I'm ok." Surprisingly ,I was. I had been so concerned with Bella being ok that I had put the burning in my throat in the back of my mind. I wouldn't hurt someone lying unconscious in my arms broken.

As I held her against me I slowly rubbed her back needing to reassure her, even though she wasn't awake, that she was ok. I became aware of bumps that were long scars across much of her back. I was tempted to lift the back of her shirt to see better but refused to violate her that way. What had she suffered and for how long?

My family filtered back in the house, coming into the front room and stood in a circle around me holding Bella, I made close note of her breathing and heart rate. The last thing she needed to do was wake up with everyone surrounding her, staring.

Carlisle told them exactly what happened and what Bella had said. I wrestled with myself about revealing the scars I was feeling on her back but decided that the more information we had the better. "She also has some scars on her back." Six pairs of eyes looked at me and I could hear their thoughts about I knew. I rolled my eyes. "I'm holding her right now and I can feel them." I continued to rub her back. "They're thick and go across from mid back to past the waistband on her pants." I concentrated and horror dawned on me when I figured out what it was I was feeling. I whispered. "She was whipped. Repeatedly."

Esme started choking and was crying, Carlisle held her up as she started to collapse. Alice grabbed on to Jasper for support and Emmett fell to the ground with Rose crawling on his lap. "Who would do that to someone so sweet?" Esme asked the room, knowing there was no answer, at least not one that we knew right now.

I asked if someone could get me a blanket; I didn't want Bella to freeze against my body that couldn't generate heat, only take hers. Alice ran upstairs and brought the blanket from off her bed down, I tucked it around Bella trying to not jostle her any more than necessary.

We started talking about what would happen when Bella woke up. Jasper explained that she might not remember very much, if anything, that lead up to the panic attack itself and that pushing at this point would only led to another attack. Carlisle started talking and debating what they should to do push Bella forward. Jasper and Carlisle debated what was more important to tackle first. Jasper felt if they could address her mental issues the physical would fall into place. Carlisle argued that her body was too weak to take anymore strain that dealing with the mental issues would entail. Finally they agreed to push her physical wellbeing first, hoping they could then get her to move to a better mental place in time.

Everyone stayed in the front room. Emmett had turned the TV on to add background noise, but no one was really watching the action movie that was on. Finally, three hours and fifty-two minutes after Bella passed out her heart rate started to speed up a bit and her breathing accelerated, Bella was waking up. Esme sat next to me on the couch to be there when Bella awakened. Rose and Alice went to Alice's room to wait to come down and get Bella; Emmett went to his room to play a video game; Carlisle to his study to do more research on options to get Bella to gain more weight; and Jasper stood against the wall out of sight from Bella in case she needed his calming effects.

Bella's eyes fluttered open. She sat still, as her eyes looked around, confusion laden on her face. She caught Esme watching her and looked even more confused. "Where am I? What happened?"

Esme smiled at her. "You're at our house. What do you remember, dear?"

Bella concentrated, trying to pick the errant memories from her head. "I remember Edward coming to get me, him driving me here . . . We came in the house . . . " She stopped searching her memories, suddenly a look of horror passed her delicate features, "Oh no, what did I do? I'm sorry. Sometimes I react poorly to stupid things. Did I do something?" Bella was starting to panic, worried over her reaction; but she didn't seem to remember what caused it. She started to struggle to sit up but I held her close. Her eyes darted to me in shock. "Edward." She must not have even noticed that I had been holding her. I heard her heart speed, but it didn't seem to be from panic this time.

Esme spoke up before Bella could get upset. "You did nothing dear. I mean, when you walked in to a room with four vampire males, anyone would have a reaction. It was stupid on our part to put you in that position, you just reacted naturally."

Bella looked more confused and suddenly she stiffened and paled. "We've been waiting for you." She whispered obviously not meaning for us to hear, not knowing we did. I looked at Esme and she looked back at me. She was thinking the same as I was, the same as the rest of the house was, Bella had heard that sentence before.

Bella took a minute to compose herself and looked at Esme trying to smile, though it was a sad version of one. "No Esme, I'm sorry. I over reacted, I hope I didn't say or do something to offend anyone. You didn't do anything wrong. I guess I was just surprised? Sometimes I just react badly to weird things; it's no biggie." Bella was trying to brush the whole thing off. I wanted to shake her. This wasn't a small matter and she didn't need to play it off as such.

Esme took one of her hands, "Don't worry; you didn't really say anything and we aren't offend, just worried. Would you like a cup of tea? Something to settle the nerves?" Bella smiled weakly and let Esme lead her to the kitchen. She looked back at me before she passed from the room. I felt empty, missing her warmth already.

I decided to let Bella have time with my family for a while, though I hoped that we could get some time together again later. I went to my room and continued to monitor Bella.

Esme and she were in the kitchen discussing different tea flavors and which Bella liked and when she drank them. Esme was comforting her in the normalcy of the discussion. I listened to Bella slowly calm down and become more at ease in our house.

Alice and Rose went downstairs and joined Esme in the kitchen talking to Bella.

"What have you eaten today?" Alice chirped.

Bella shrugged, "Some toast."

"Well you need more than that. What do you want for lunch?"

Bella looked at Alice like she was crazy. "Alice, you're a vampire!"

"Yeah."

"You don't eat human food."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Silly Bella, of course we don't eat human food, but that doesn't mean we don't have plenty of it here. So what do you want?"

Bella looked confused at Esme and Rose. Esme stepped in. "Really Bella, we have food here so you can help yourself to any of it."

Bella simply shook her head and mumbled too quietly for a human to hear. "They're not only vampires, they're nuts!" Everyone in the house laughed at that though Bella never heard us.

I watched her through my sister's eyes going through the refrigerator and pantry looking at what was all there. "Oh my Word! You vampires have enough food here to feed a small army, why?"

Esme chuckled, "I had no clue what you would want to eat, so I stocked up on a little of everything."

"You bought all of this for ME! Esme this is a lot of food and expensive."

"Oh tosh, it's nothing. Whatever you don't want ,we'll give to a shelter. Really it's not a big deal. Now enough, tell me what you want and I can make it for you!"

Bella looked like she was going to stubbornly refuse but looked at Esme and gave in. "I'll have salad and yogurt."

Carlisle spoke up then so we could hear but Bella couldn't. "I would like to talk to her about her diet. Rose and Alice can you leave for a few minutes?"

Alice chirped to Bella, "Ok you eat and then Rose and I'll go get a few more things ready upstairs. See you in a few!" She danced out of the room with Rose following behind.

Esme chatted with Bella a bit while she made her a salad. Carlisle was keeping attuned to the conversation and a good place to enter. Bella and Esme were talking about different ingredients for dishes that Esme had made in the past. Bella had a lot of knowledge about cooking, which I didn't think was normal for most people her age in this time of fast food.

"Where did you learn do much about cooking?" Esme inquired.

Bella chuckled. "You wouldn't ask that if you'd ever eaten anything Renee made." She had a soft smile on her face. "Renee is deadly in the kitchen and if you wanted to survive you needed to learn to cook. I've been cooking for my family since I was 13. I doubt I would have survived many more years of Renee's concoctions."

Esme was about to inquire more and ask who Renee was when Carlisle came in and sat on the stool next to Bella against the island. "Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" Carlisle asked trying to be as non-confrontational as he could be.

Bella gave him a strange look and nodded. "Of course, though know there are certain things I won't talk about. I mean I'm sorry about before and what –"

Carlisle cut her off with a gesture of his hand. "No, I wasn't going to inquire about that. Don't get me wrong, I would be happy to listen to you explain what happened; but I don't think you're ready for that yet, are you?" Bella shook her head and I could hear her heart racing; Carlisle could too. "No, I wanted to talk about something else, if that's ok." Carlisle paused, waiting for Bella to respond but she just kept looking at him with wide eyes, I could smell the adrenaline and fear in my room 2 stories up. Carlisle was wondering what he could do to help calm her but knew there was little so he plunged ahead.

"I've talked with my children and they've told me that you had a bit of a rough spot 2 weeks ago, right before we met and that you didn't seem like you'd been eating. As a doctor I can say, Bella, you are exceedingly underweight. Is this something you're doing on purpose?"

Bella started shaking. I wanted to be there, helping to calm her down, but I knew this was something she needed to do on her own. She needed to fight her battles and I couldn't fight them all. She was safe here and Carlisle wouldn't hurt her or push her too hard.

Bella whispered. "No, I'm not trying to be this skinny. This isn't me dieting or anything like that." Bella had been looking down and when Carlisle said nothing, hoping she would speak more on her own, she glanced up at him. Carlisle nodded for her to continue. Bella chewed on her lip and finally spoke quickly, almost as if fearing that if she didn't talk now she wouldn't be able to. "I know it sounds dumb but often I just forget to eat; it's not on purpose. I just am so distracted that I miss thinking about it. Other times I know I need to eat but my stomach is so churned up with nerves and anxiety that I know if I ate I'd throw up, so I don't. I know I don't eat enough . . . I just . . ." Bella looked lost trying to find words to explain herself.

Carlisle was ecstatic. He was worried that Bella was fully anorexic, but what she was saying didn't lend itself to that diagnosis and he hoped he could work with her. "Bella are you on any medication to help with the anxiety?" It was a normal question to ask since Bella didn't know that Carlisle was aware of what medications she was on.

Bella glanced fearfully at him. "Why?"

Carlisle smiled. "I'm not judging you my dear. I was wondering if there was something that we might be able to give you to help with the times you're too nervous to eat."

Bella looked off to the side biting her lip thinking. "Yes, I have something for panic attacks but I don't take it as a maintenance drug. I don't want to take maintenance drugs if I can avoid them in anyway."

Carlisle nodded thinking through her avoidance of drugs and if there was more he could do for her. "May I ask who prescribes for you? Is it a family doctor or a psychiatrist?"

Bella spoke in a tiny voice that was hard to hear. "My old family doctor back home."

"Bella, if you want, I'd be happy to go over your prescriptions and see if there is something better out there for you to take or that will help you out with your day to day struggles more. You do know, though, these types of medications are best prescribed by a psychiatrist, preferably one that you are in therapy with."

Bella shook her head frantically. "No! I'm not doing therapy. I can't, I just can't."

Carlisle placed a hand over hers which caused her to jerk but she didn't take her hand away. "It's ok Bella. I'm not forcing you into anything right now. I just want to help. Ok? Let's talk about something else. I see you're eating a salad and while I'm happy for the vitamins it has, you need something with higher calories. Honestly with the weight you are now you're not strong enough to fight sickness and I'm sure you've lost bone density, which means you could easily break a bone. I don't want that and I'm sure you don't either. Can we talk about some things to help get you more calories consistently?"

Bella agreed and Carlisle talked with her, outlining a plan for her to have a watch set with alarms reminding her to eat. Bella was obviously upset to need such a crutch but said she would try it for a week and report back to Carlisle how it went. He also recommended she start drinking a high calorie vitamin drink daily, which Bella didn't seem to have a problem with. Carlisle had more suggestions but decided that Bella was willing to try two major things and he would make more suggestions after he saw how this went.

Overall I could hear his inner monologue happy with how the conversation went and how Bella was willing to try. He had hope that eventually she would open up totally and the fact that she hadn't given up entirely buoyed him. He was already planning what his step would be next week to suggest to Bella to get her body on track to being healthy. The dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep were worrisome to him and he was thinking next he would work on getting her more sleep.

Jasper was deep in thought. Going over everything that Bella said and every flutter of her heartbeat trying to come up with an adequate scenario for all that he knew. He had wanted Carlisle to push her harder but admitted to himself that after her breakdown, today was not the day to push. I heard Jasper head to Emmett's room where they started playing video games and talking about Bella. Emmett was extremely concerned for her and felt he had caused the issue earlier. Jasper assured him that whatever had triggered Bella's attack was probably more than just one thing.

Carlisle left Bella to Esme and they continued talking about cooking. Soon after, Alice and Rose came in and grabbed Bella, dragging her upstairs talking about hair and make-up. Bella looked lost but was valiantly trying to keep up. One thing I'd noticed is that Bella was a natural girl and didn't wear make-up or fuss over her appearance. That was about to change with her being around Alice and Rose.

Both girls sat her down in a chair and started talking to each other deciding exactly what they were going to do with her hair and what styles it would best show off her face.

Rose laughed. "So Bella, you need to tell Alice if you have any preferences for your homecoming dress. She usually has it picked out by looking in our futures, but since she can't see yours, she's stymied as to what you want."

"Oh! I don't know. I hadn't planned on going to Homecoming."

Alice huffed. "But why not, you're going with Edward, aren't you. He has asked you, hasn't he?!" Bella shook her head. Edward! So help me, I'm gonna come up there are break every CD you own! Why haven't you asked her? It's 2 weeks away!

I honestly would have laughed at Alice's anger if I didn't fear her retribution. "When do you suggest I ask her then? After her panic attack on Monday? Or the one on Wednesday? Possibly the one today? 'Well Bella, now that you're awake, let's go to homecoming together!'" I spoke softly.

Don't start mister; you've had plenty of time. I left you and her alone Tuesday night after class. You could have asked then, or any other time. Now I'm stuck doing damage control to save your butt. I smirked glad the pixie wasn't looking at my future right then to see it.

"Well Bella, my guess is he's shy and maybe thinks you wouldn't go with him." Or he's a stubborn cow that won't get his act together.

Rose cut in. "You should ask him yourself."

Bella's eyes went wide and she stuttered. "Ask him . . . myself? No, I mean . . . no I'm not asking Edward to homecoming! I don't even want to go. I can't dance and I hate formal affairs."

Alice raised her eyebrows and looked Bella in the mirror. "Oh you're going missy; don't doubt that. Edward's going too. Neither of you have a date, so it makes sense for you to go together."

Bella squirmed in her chair. "Alice, I think Edward will have a date; I don't think it'll be me. Can you just drop it?"

Alice growled. Edward do you see what your waiting has done! You had better ask her by the end of the day or I'll tell Jane that you've decided that being a virgin isn't fun and you are too scared to ask her to take your virginity from you!

"You wouldn't!"

Try me!

I shuddered. Jane was part of the Volturi guard. She was a viscous creature that had indicated that she thought I would make a fine play thing and she'd propositioned me more than once. Staying out of her way when I was in Italy had become a wretched game, that so far, I had won. For Alice to threaten to send Jane after me was below the belt on many levels. "I promise, before this day is out I will ask her!"

I rolled my eyes and I listened to the laughter and mental images of my family. They didn't know what Alice had threatened, but they found it funny that I was fearful and giving in. They were all speculating what she had threatened and some of their guesses were uncomfortable to imagine. I didn't know my family harbored such vindictive thoughts toward me.

It wasn't that I didn't want to ask Bella to Homecoming. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. I just didn't know how to ask her. I've never been on a date in my life; never asked a girl out. Plus this wasn't just a girl; this was Bella. She was broken and beautiful and an angel. While I doubt there is anyone I would find worthy of her innocence to take her to Homecoming, I knew that I was not worthy of her.

Rose spoke up again. "Whether you go with Edward or not you're going to Homecoming. So the question remains, what kind of dress do you want? Do you want to show the girls?" I groaned thinking about Bella in a skimpy dress with her breasts hanging out. She was too classy for a dress like that, especially wearing it around frat boys that would be drooling over her in an obscene way. "Is there anything specific you want covered? How short would you go if Alice went with a shorter dress?"

Bella looked mortified. Alice stepped in. "Yes, let me know what's acceptable. And don't argue, you're going and that's final!"

Bella glared at Alice. "Fine! This is stupid. I would rather a dress that covers more than it doesn't. Below the knee, little cleavage, if any, nothing backless!"

Alice smiled. "I can work with that. What size are you? A two?"

Bella shrugged. "I have no clue. I haven't been shopping for clothes in a long time."

Alice nodded, though she was incredulous to think that Bella didn't shop. "Do you want to come with me to pick it out or should I just surprise you?"

Bella smiled. "Alice, I doubt I could keep up with you shopping; you'd probably be better off getting it on your own." I silently agreed with Bella, shopping with Alice was not something mortals were fit for!

Alice took a deep breath. "Speaking of things you don't want showing." She gestured to Bella's hands. "If I don't find a long sleeved dress do you want me to make sure that I provide some kind of thick bracelet to match everything?"

Bella looked at Alice and I could hear her heart thrumming through the house. She started picking, in agitation, at the cuffs that were always on her wrists. "Thanks Alice. That'd be great."

Alice simply nodded, letting Bella know it was ok and she wasn't going to ask anything more. This just cemented in my, and my entire families mind, that Bella was hiding scars on her wrists the only thing I wondered now was if they were from a self-inflicted wound or something else.

I listened to the girls talk more as Alice and Rose straightened Bella's hair and added sprays and gels and who knows what all to make her more beautiful than she already was. I watched Bella through their thoughts and she was obviously trying to keep my sisters happy and wasn't finding much joy on her own with the extended dress up session they had going on. When Alice pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt for Bella to wear Bella put up quite the fuss.

"Alice you didn't buy me clothes! Please I don't need new clothes, I'm happy with what I have."

"Bella! Nothing you have fits you! Everything hangs off your frame, why not just try on something and see what you would look like in clothes that fit!" Alice thrust the jeans and shirt at her and told her to get dressed. Bella grabbed the clothes and huffed off to the bathroom to change.

When Bella came out of the bathroom my jaw dropped. I knew she was thin but to see her body outlined in close fitting jeans and a v-neck shirt showing off her décolletage left my mouth watering and I was glad for the close fitting underwear that hid my instant reaction to the vision of Bella even if I was alone in my room.

Alice jumped clapping her hands, "Oh you're perfect Bella. I knew you were a size two. You look wonderful." Alice skipped to the door, let's go show the guys! Bella's eyes widened and she tugged at the neck on her shirt trying to get it to cover more. While it was incredibly demur compared to what girls normally wore, it did show off more of her skin than she was obviously used to.

Bella followed Rose and Alice to Emmett's room. I saw her look around and frown. Rose and Alice went straight to their mates and sat on their laps, Bella looked uncomfortable. Jasper noticed and smiled at her. "Come sit anywhere. Do you play any video games?"

Bella walked slowly in the room further and sat off to the side. "No I don't."

Emmet boomed. "What Belly Bear? You gotta play video games." He handed her a remote and got the Wii set up for bowling thinking it was an easy enough game to learn on.

Bella laughed taking the controller without touching Emmett and immediately took a step away from him. "Well Cupcake some of us aren't full of testosterone and entertain ourselves with more mind expanding ventures than video games." She winked at him.

Emmet snorted. "Or some humans around here have no hand eye coordination and can't handle something like a video game, right sweet cheeks?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Bring it pretty boy!"

Emmett laughed. He started explaining to Bella how to play the game and walked her through how to hold the controller and the best way to move to get a strike. I watched Bella through the eyes of my siblings, having a great time playing the game. She laughed and smiled and even fell down a few times. Honestly how do you fall down playing a video game, only sweet Bella could do that! But I also watched her with my family. She always kept herself at a distance from them and avoided any circumstance where Jasper or Emmett could touch her, even simply brushing up against them to go somewhere else. She wasn't as uncomfortable as she was with Ben and Jacob but her distance was still notable. I watched her eyes and while they weren't vacant they weren't expressive either. It was progress though and I saw it as such.

But notably were my sibling's reactions to Bella. It had been a long time since I had heard so much laughter from my family. We have known each other for decades. We know how each thinks and we've heard all our jokes already. Bella was a breath of fresh air and my family loved her. Not only that, they seemed to be as affected by her as I was. Each acting more human than they ever had before. Being around Bella was affecting us all. Who knew that humans could do that?

Finally my patience was worn out. I had given my family time with Bella; now it was my turn. I needed to see her. As soon as my decision was made a loosening in my stomach occurred, I hadn't even felt the tension building until that point. I sped to Emmett's room and took a deep breath before entering. I opened his door as Bella was laughing about something Emmett was saying and she turned to look at me. My breath caught, seeing her as she was, and not in the minds of others, was like removing the wax paper to reveal her in all her glorious splendor.

"Do you want to take a break from the Neanderthal there?" I said nodding my head towards Emmett. Bella smiled. I held my hand out hoping she'd take it. She smiled at my siblings and came up to me placing her diminutive hand in mine. I lead her to my room and saw her looking around in wonder.

"Is this your room?" I nodded at her. "Wow, you have a lot of music" she said looking at my shelves of CDs and LPs. She walked closer and started reading the titles.

"What kind of music do you like?"

She glanced at me. "I don't know. I like all different kinds of music." I smirked. Yes, I have heard many genres playing at her house.

"Who's your favorite?"

Bella tilted her head and considered the question. Finally she scrunched her nose up. "I don't have a favorite anything with music. It all depends on my mood and what's going on at the time."

I watched her walk along my shelves looking at all my music, sometimes she would nod at something she saw and a few times she rolled her eyes. I simply stood watching and drinking in her reactions to my room. I tried to examine it as she would see it, with fresh eyes, and noticed my room consisted of decorations that Esme had placed. Yes it reflected my tastes and preferences but there was nothing here that I had placed because I wanted it there. I had a box in my closet that held things from my human life and a few other things I had collected in my years as a vampire that I wanted to keep, but otherwise this room held nothing that was distinctly mine. Huh, I never noticed that.

Bella turned from my music shelves and looked around the room confused. "Where's your bed?"

I chuckled. "I don't have one Bella. Vampires don't sleep."

Bella's eyes widened. "Ever?"

I smiled. "Never. We never get tired or worn out."

Bella looked incredulous. "Wow!" She looked down at her feet digging her toe in the carpet. Finally she looked up at me from under her eye lashes, "Will you tell me more?"

"About what?" I slowly walked toward Bella. I had stayed in the doorway not wanting to scare her. As I walked I listened to her heart rate to see if she was scared.

"About being a vampire."

I stood for a bit trying to think of the best way of opening up this conversation. Bella looked up at me with such innocent wide eyes; no fear or trepidation showed in them. I made a decision. I walked over to my closet and searched for the smallest sweater I could find and a sweatshirt for me. I handed the sweater to Bella. "Here put this on."

She looked at me. "Why do I need more clothes to talk?"

I gave her a grin, laughing in my head. "Well I figured that I would not only tell you, but show you. Plus with all the listening ears around here I figure it would be easier to have this conversation in a more private place."

"What do you have her wearing?" Alice called from the floor below.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair and spoke in a normal tone of voice. "A sweater. She'll be just fine. I promise to take her nowhere anyone will see."

I pulled the sweatshirt I grabbed over my head. With what I planned I wanted an extra layer between Bella and me, so she didn't get cold from my body.

"Who were you talking to?"Bella was obviously confused.

I winked at her. "I'll explain it all. Do you trust me?" I knew it was a loaded question and I honestly didn't know what Bella would do at this point. She didn't know it, but the entire house was focused on my room and no one was even breathing.

Bella bit her lip and looked deep in my eyes. Finally she nodded. "Yes I do." She pulled the sweater I gave her on. She was adorable drowning in a sweater that went to her mid thigh.

I smiled, knowing I couldn't keep the excitement of her trust off my face. "Ok, we're going to go for a short run."

Bella frowned. "I'm not good at running. I mean I can handle my treadmill but seriously are you talking about running in the woods?"

I laughed, this was too easy. "Yes Bella, but you won't be running." I turned around and crouched down a bit. "Hop on."

"What!"

I turned to look at her. "Trust me Bella. Hop on. I promise nothing bad will happen to you."

I saw Bella swallow and take a deep breath. She reached a tentative hand out and touched my shoulder; I bit back a moan at feeling her warm hand on me, even through two layers of fabric. She grabbed my other shoulder and jumped up. I straightened and grabbed her legs just behind her knee. "Ok angel. Hang on, I promise you won't get hurt but I'm sure it will be a bit scary at first."

I walked at human speed to my balcony. "Wait! Edward, we aren't using the front door?"

I simply laughed. I jumped over the rail and took off running. Bella squealed in fear. I paid close attention to her heart rate, hoping it would slow down once she got use to flying through a forest at over 100 miles per hour on the back of a vampire.

I tried to ignore the burning of Bella being on me. Her warmth soaked through my shirts, warming me in ways I had never been warmed before. I had never been this close to a human that I could ever remember. Then there were her arms around my neck, so close to my mouth. I drank in the scent of her blood hearing it course through her fragile wrists so close to my teeth. While the temptation to bite was there, it was tempered by her soft skin that touched my neck. I had never felt anything like it before; her touch grounded me and chained the monster. Then there was the affect she was having on my libido. I was thankful that when I went to dress today that Alice had left me some new underwear. I glanced down and sure enough my prominent erection wasn't tenting my pants in an obscene way.

Bella's heart rate was slowly calming down, I couldn't see if her eyes were open but I didn't hear her blinking so I assumed they were closed. We had gotten to where I wanted to go after about 10 minutes of running. I quickly scaled a suitable tree until we were at the top. From this view you could see for miles around and even glimpse the ocean. We were high up on a ridge; this was a view Bella would never be able to see if she wasn't with a vampire.

I softly placed her on a branch never taking my hands all the way off her. "Open your eyes angel."

Bella opened her eyes and looked at me. Slowly she took in the panoramic view of where she was. Her breath caught and she looked back at me in wonder. "Edward, it's beautiful." I smiled, feeling giddy as a fourteen year old girl that I was able to place such a look on her face and offer her something no one else could. "This is amazing. I can't even find the words."

I let her continue taking in the view. I was careful to monitor her heart and watched to see if she was getting cold. We were up high, and the winds were chilly, and I wanted to make sure the sweater I gave her was enough.

Finally she looked back at me. "So this is where you're taking me to tell me about vampires?" She quirked a brow.

I laughed, "I guess so. I really just wanted to get out of the house so my family didn't hear everything we said. I know they would be interrupting with comments non-stop and I guess I just wanted you to myself for a bit without listening to them. You don't know how peaceful it is to talk to someone and not hear their thoughts." I looked at her trying to convey with my eyes as well as my words what a new experience this was for me. "I admit that I wish I knew what you were thinking most of the time; but up here, right now, miles from anyone, this is something I can't experience with anyone else."

Bella gave a soft smile and blushed looking off in the distance. She turned and started to lose her balance, I grabbed her and she grabbed for me catching my hip. "Sorry, I'm probably not the best person to have in such a precarious position."

"No worries. I have lightning fast reflexes; I won't let you fall."

Bella looked at me cocking her head, her hand was still on my hip and I was trying hard to not concentrate on it but it was difficult. "So you have super fast speed; you are extremely strong; you don't sleep; what other tricks can you do?"

"Tricks? I guess I never thought of it that way before. Well we have exceptional hearing, which I told you about. Back at the house when I gave you that sweater, Alice was downstairs hounding me making sure it matched or something. I could hear her just fine though you couldn't."

Bella sat for a minute thinking. "Today has everyone in the house been able to hear everything I've said?"

"Yeah? Don't let it worry you. We all can hear each other all the time, it's just part of life for us. You'll get use to it if you come over more often. I figured you could use a break though and that's part of why I brought you out here."

I noticed Bella gave a small shiver. "Are you cold? Do you want to go back?"

"I'm a little cold but I don't want to leave. This is peaceful."

I nodded. It was peaceful but I wouldn't let this angel get cold for it. I took off my sweatshirt and handed it to her. "Here let me help you put this on, another layer should help."

"What about you? Won't you get cold?"

"No Bella. Here put this on and I'll explain." I reached over and helped her put the sweatshirt on making sure she kept her balance. When it was on, her hand came back to my hip; though now, with no sweatshirt inhibiting her warmth, it was more concentrated and wonderful. "I don't get hot or cold. My skin is like marble; it doesn't scratch or dry out or wrinkle."

Bella looked at me. "Umm can I . . . can I touch it?" Bella blushed looking horrified. "Forget it. You aren't a circus freak; I'm so sorry."Bella rushed out thinking she had offended me.

I brushed a hair back from her face that had fallen in her eyes. "Bella I promise, you couldn't possibly offend me. Ok?" I held my hand out quickly pushing up the sleeve of my shirt so she could touch me.

Bella tentatively reached out keeping eye contact with me. She placed her hand so lightly on my arm. She looked down and started feeling my arm with more vigor. I watched her face fill with awe and she continued touching me. The spark that was always there was so strong with the skin to skin contact and the heat; the heat of her burned through me. I bit back a groan of sheer pleasure. I had never felt anything like her touch against me. There is no way that vampires could know that being around a human could feel like this; if they did they would be collecting humans to feel this sensation.

"Your skin is amazing; so hard but so soft to the touch."

"Really? You don't think it's unnatural?"

Bella laughed lightly. "Unnatural? How so? Is it like human skin? No, but you aren't human the same as I am so why should everything about you be the same. Your skin is amazing." Bella removed her hand from feeling my arm and surprisingly placed it back on my hip, her thumb snuck up my shirt slightly rubbing it against the skin right above my jeans. "Can you tell me about sunlight and why you weren't in school Wednesday?"

I swallowed the venom pooling in my mouth from the sensory overload of the sweetness of Bella's smell, the warmth of her touch, and the music of her voice; the combination was incredibly heady and was making me have the strangest twisting sensation in my stomach area. Finally I found my voice, though it was slightly hoarse. "It's hard to explain. How about I promise to show you sometime?"

Bella nodded. "Can you tell me about you? How did you become a vampire?"

So I talked to Bella. I told her my story of what I remembered of being human and why Carlisle changed me. I explained waking up not understanding what I was or all the noise I heard and sensations I experienced. The only thing I didn't get into were the years I went rouge and hunted humans, killing the dregs of society. I didn't want Bella to know about that yet, if ever. She sat and listened to me keeping her hand on my hip. When I was done she asked about the rest of my family. I explained how each joined our family, glossing over Rosalie and the rape that occurred leaving her close to death.

I had never spent hours like I was right now. The simplicity and beauty of talking to someone, watching expressions cross her face; and her eyes, her eyes were expressive as well. She asked insightful questions and listened to everything I said. Never once was there an errant thought to disrupt my stream of consciousness.

We had been talking for over three hours when I noted that it was time to get Bella back to my house and some more food in her. I took a deep breath. "Bella, I know Alice was bugging you earlier, but I was wondering if you'd accompany me to the Homecoming dance. I'm not asking because of Alice. I've wanted to ask you but I wasn't sure how or if you'd be interested."

I held my breath awaiting her answer. She looked down. "I would like to go with you, but Edward wouldn't you rather go with someone else?"

"I'm confused? Why would I want to go with someone else?"

Bella sighed. "I don't dance well; I don't get drunk; I . . . I . . ."Bella groaned "Listen Edward, I know that a lot of guys ask girls to dances hoping for a quick easy score, that's not going to happen with me so you should go with someone that can do that for you."

I was flabbergasted. Bella thought I was asking her to the dance for a quickie! "Bella No! I am not asking you to go with me for an easy score of any kind. That is the furthest thing from my head. You're a human; I'm a vampire; I don't even think it's possible. I was asking because you're beautiful and intelligent and spending the night with you by my side, whether we dance or not, will make it infinitely more enjoyable for me."

Bella looked closely at me. I was getting use to her looking in my eyes trying to pick out my thoughts. He thumb was still on my hip rubbing circles absentmindedly. Finally she nodded. "Ok, thank you. I'd love to go with you."

"Thank you for the honor. We do need to leave now before it gets much later. I'm going to turn and you can climb on my back. Were you ok coming here? Anything I need to worry about?"

"No, how do you move that fast and not hit trees? All I could see was a blur?"

I smiled. "I can process it all. I could make out every needle on every tree and every bug on the ground. I promise I won't let you get hurt."

Bella considered me. "I know." She let the statement hang out there before she continued. "I don't know why, but I know you won't hurt me."

Her honesty and belief in me was more than I could take. "Bella, never forget, at my heart, I'm a monster. I keep it chained around you but never forget the monster is always there." I gently grabbed Bella's arm and placed her on my back not wanting to continue the conversation. I ran back home, the lighthearted mood I had been feeling moments ago, gone. I didn't want Bella to trust and believe in me so much; I didn't deserve it and I feared one day I would harm her, therefore breaking that trust. When that day happened I knew my world would go black.

We got home and I bounded up to my room. I bent so Bella could slide to the floor. Before her feet found purchase Emmett was in my room grabbing her. "Beanie, where have you been? You can't let Edward hog you like that. Now that you're here, we're gonna watch a movie. What'd ya want to see?"

Bella gave a slight screech when Emmett grabbed her but visibly tried to calm down. "Butterball, you do know I'm not a stuffed animal right?" She winked.

"Whatever. Get your butt moving, movie in a few. You need to see Esme also cause she's freaking trying to find something for you to eat."

I sighed, Emmett was so straight forward. "Emmett just leave. I'll make sure Bella gets downstairs in a minute; she's human she might need a few minutes to freshen up!"

"Huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Bella are you ok? Do you need anything?" I pointed to my en suite bathroom. "The bathroom's there if you need a moment. I can wait."

"Oh yeah! I forgot, sorry Bella. Ok you go pee or whatever you need to do. Just hurry."

I shook my head. "Bella I'm sorry. Remember when I told you a bear had mauled him? Well, I'm pretty sure the bear knocked him on his head so hard that even changing into a vampire couldn't fix it all."

Bella just laughed and walked into the bathroom while Emmett started to come after me. "Seriously do you have no discretion? Human girls don't talk about peeing!"

Emmett laughed at me. "Edward I had hoped that with a few hours out of here with Bella that you're undies would untwist. Seriously, it's a good thing you aren't human; you'd have major chaffing issues if you were." He took off out the door to go get a movie set up.

I rolled my eyes. When Bella came out I smiled at her and gave her my hand. She took it without hesitating. "I have to say, it's a nice shock that vampires stock toilet paper."

Emmett laughed downstairs. "Petunia, that's all for you babe." He shouted up the stairs.

Bella blushed clearly mortified. "Ignore him. Esme always has all of our bathrooms stocked like a normal human bathroom on the off chance there would be a need. We're very good at appearances." Bella seemed slightly mollified but not entirely. Carlisle and Esme were both berating Emmett for making a guest feel uncomfortable and no matter how Emmett tried to explain he was joking they weren't listening.

I lead Bella to the kitchen, "What would you like to eat?"

Esme came in. "Bella I didn't know what you would want so I made some shaved beef and I figured we could do a lot with it." Esme smiled and gave Bella a quick hug that seemed to please Bella.

"Why not just stick it on some bread and make a hot beef sandwich with it? Do you have any white cheese to add?"

"We have mozzarella and provolone."

"Mozzarella, please."

Esme made Bella her sandwich and Bella grabbed a root beer to drink. Suddenly she giggled.

Esme looked at her inquisitively and I asked. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just. Ok, I'm in a house of vampires about to watch a movie while I eat dinner. Does no one else see the weirdness coupled with the ordinariness of it all? I don't know; it's just surreal."

Esme smiled, "I understand dear. Trust me weird is normal here." She handed Bella her plate and told her to enjoy the movie.

"Are you sure I should bring this outside the kitchen?" She asked indicating her plate.

I grabbed it from her. "Goodness no! With how klutzy you are, I think I better carry it for you!" I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Edward Cullen, you did not!" She yelled and made to hit me.

I easily dodged her and made my way 2 steps ahead of her to the movie room where the rest of my family was. Emmett stood up blocking me. "Bella do you need my skills to school this boy?"

Bella giggled. "No that's ok. Just make him give me my sandwich."

I turned and handed her the plate. I sat on the couch and Bella sat next to me. I studied my family. I couldn't believe how difficult it was to listen to all their thoughts after a few hours of just focusing on Bella. I felt like I was surrounded by 60 people's thoughts, not 6.

Bella piped up. "What are we watching?"

I groaned when I heard from Emmett's thoughts what he'd picked. "Seriously! Please there isn't a female high schooler in the room!"

Emmett ignored me. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer!"

Bella started chocking on the bite she had taken of her sandwich. "Oh my word, are you serious? That is too funny."

I groaned again. "Please don't encourage him!"

Bella simply giggled once more. The movie started and the whole family sat watching it. It occurred to me that Bella was right; we looked like an episode of Leave it to Beaver. I don't think we have ever come together as a family to watch a movie like this. Yet one more thing to add to the list of what Bella had changed in us.

As the movie continued, I watched Bella. When she had finished her sandwich I grabbed her plate and returned it to the kitchen. When the movie was nearing the end, Bella started yawning and I saw her eyes flutter and go unfocused. I thought to myself I wished there was a place here for her to sleep, I knew that any of my family would give up one of the three beds in their rooms for her; but Bella would never allow them to do so, even if we didn't need it for sleep. Plus I'm sure she wouldn't be comfortable sleeping in a strange house.

When the movie ended I told Bella that I would take her home. It amazed me that it took 20 minutes for us to leave the house at that point. Bella talked to everyone separately saying good-bye and thanking everyone for something. She promised to visit again soon . When we finally made it out the door Bella stumbled and I think it was in sheer tiredness.

I opened the door for her and climbed in my side. "If you're tired, you can sleep for the few minutes it'll take for me to get you home."

"That's ok. I don't want to fall asleep for a few minutes; I might not wake up once we get to my house!"

"Well I would let you sleep in my car if you wanted, but I'm sure your bed is more comfortable."

"I'm sure it is. You know Edward. You're blessed. If you have to spend eternity with a family, you have a good one to be with."

Yet again my angel surprised me with her comments, seemingly out of left field, and her intuitiveness. "Yes Bella. My family makes my existence bearable. I've met a lot of vampires in my time and most of them are the monsters of legend. They feel superior to humans and see them as cattle. I don't want to ever be like that."

Bella sighed. "It has to be hard to be so different from everyone around you. I mean, you surround yourself with humans; and even when you're with vampires, you're different."

"Bella are you human?"

She did a double take. "Why do you ask that?"

"You're just incredibly perceptive. Amazingly so. Most humans can't be bothered with things outside of themselves but you notice so much."

Bella blushed. "Well, when you spend so much time alone, it's easy to watch others."

I smiled. "Well you don't have to be alone if you don't want to."

Bella laughed. "With Alice I'm guessing whether I want to or not is irrelevant. I think that pixie will always be around. I'm guessing Emmett too; though I'm not renting a bedroom for him at my house!"

I laughed. "That's a good thing. Trust me you don't want to hear the things I have!"

Bella shuddered. After that we had quiet conversation until we got to her house. I pulled up and opened the car door for her to get out and walked her to the door.

There was a tension in the air that I couldn't define. When we got to the door, Bella opened it and kept looking at her feet, not making a move to go inside.

"Are you ok Bella?" Her breathing was shallow and her heart had sped up.

She looked at me through her eyelashes and the erection that hadn't subsided in hours got infinitely stiffer. I suddenly found it hard to catch my breath. Bella licked her bottom lip and I fought a moan. I had no clue what was happening but I wanted to taste her and it had nothing to do with her blood.

"Yeah I'm ok. I should go inside. Thanks for the ride, for the day." Bella's voice was strained and she wouldn't meet my eyes.

I spoke softly; I didn't think my voice would hold if I spoke louder. "The pleasure was all mine. Sleep well sweet Bella."

Bella slowly turned, walked in the house, and closed the door.

AN: Sorry I'm gonna give you a long AN again but hopefully when done, it will help you. I have had questions about when Bella will be sharing her history and asking what happened. I love soooooo much how passionate some of you are, and how worried you all are about her. Now I don't outline the story, I just know in my head what needs to happen and in what order. When I sit to write a chapter I have a goal as to what to get out, but sometimes things go longer than I planned and take up more than one chapter.

So I sat down with Nissa and Ronnie and thought through what is going to be happening and I do not see a way to get Bella to share her story in less than ten more chapters (probably more the way these chapters are going!). WHAT you say! NO! I know it seems difficult but sorry. I'm trying sooooo hard to keep this story realistic. If you think about it rape victims rarely tell their story easily and usually need therapy to get it, out and for them to move forward. Well, honestly, I have one of the most brutal rapes planned for Bella and sadly it isn't the worst thing that happened to her. Again WHAT Chelle? Rape is the worst thing that a woman can face. Yeah, normally I would agree with you, but not this time. I'm not saying this to make you mad or tease you, but to share the gravity of her past and why she isn't sharing.

It's hard to know what Bella is thinking, just ask Edward LOL, ok seriously. But Bella has NEVER, not once, shared her story. Yes there are parts that have come out with the DA for the trials that she has been through, and let me tell you the DA pulls his hair out with her on the stand because she is not open, she has talked to no one. The people that are back home and know her story know it because everyone back home knows her story. She is not from Forks but will be from another small town where everyone knows everybody's business.

Also remember Bella plans on killing herself Why would she open up to people when he plans on being dead in 4 months? What does she gain by telling them? She thinks nothing. What does she lose? She thinks she loses the first people that have treated her semi-normally in 2 years; it's not a risk she's willing to take.

So have patience. We will learn her story, I promise a HUGE build up and a semi-heart fail before we know. Bella must be put in a position where she is almost forced to share due to circumstance. I tell you this so you can enjoy the story without constantly wondering when. I promise the chapter before Bella spills it will be abundantly clear that next chapter is the one. It will end almost on a cliffie and you will know then Bella's story is coming.

Also yes Bella's story is tragic and I have had people express concern about reading it and if it will be too much. Yes Bella's story is horrific but we will hear it from her words and not have images or a lot of description. It will be a clinical cliff note version; and if you think that is still too much, I will be happy to let you skip the chapter and PM you a summary.

So I hope that helps and that you can just enjoy what's going on without worrying each update if this is the one. Keep sending Bella cyber hugs, cause she loves them and so do I!

I'm not getting into the whole Edward mating thing. We've been there before. Yeah he still thinks his emotions are because Bella is human, ye;s Edward will get that he's mated but again look for that in a while, like right before Bella spills the beans!

Oh yeah Jersey – I'm on track for a kiss in chapter 23!

Ok next. I have added my story to The Writers Coffee Shop. I'm sure some of you have heard about the crackdown that FanFiction is doing with stories with MA content. I want to be prepared as this story, even if there are no lemons, is pretty MA and will only get more so. Yes I am planning on lemons as well. In that vein I will be posting teases on The Writer's Coffee Shop for their "Just a Sip" section on Thrusday's so go there if you're interested. http(://)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com. I have this story on these in its entirety and will be adding chapters at the same time I add to FanFiction.

I have to ask, how many people hate the Spider Monkey comment from the movie? I originally had it in this chapter but both Nissa and Ronnie commented on how they hate that line, I hate that line so who all hates that line? I decided to take it out. LOL

I have a pic of the Cullen's house on my profile.

Nissa and Ronnie, thank you. I gave you a monster of a chapter this week! Thanks for sticking it out!

Story this week: This is Not my Life by isakassees. Bella runs into Edward at the supermarket and suddenly James comes in and kidnaps her and Edward kid thinking they are his wife and child. Bella is trying to stay alive and protect Lily, Edward's daughter, from psychopath James while Edward is searching desperatly for both. This story is amazingly good!

Thanks for all the reviews. Seriously if I knew that talking about Cullen's being commando would get me record review's I'd have done it sooner! Don't stop I love them!!!

****Lastly this was a monster chapter and I need a break, there will not be an update next week. Sorry, but I promise to be back March 2nd.