A/N: Last chapter sweetness; this chapter funny! ;-)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

U is for Underwear

When Elizabeth awoke, she felt completely without her bearings, unsurprising given the sheer amount of rum she had been coerced into drinking last night by her fellow pirates that would question her fortitude against alcohol.

Her memory of anything after that was vague, except for sleeping with Jack and that she could hardly miss given the circumstances; their cabin looking as if a cannon had been fired through it courtesy of their passion being released with a vengeance.

Desperate for water and air, Elizabeth got up on unsteady legs and attempted to put on her clothes, an attempt made in vain as she realised she had every article she needed but one - her underwear.

The thought occurred she might wake Jack and ask him, but doubtless he would only groan, turn over, and go back to sleep, as he was want to do after such a night.

Against her better judgement, Elizabeth ventured out clad in dress and coat but nothing beneath, only to be met by a cold wind blowing from somewhere northerly and to somewhere specifically unpleasant!

It was only when she was just about to give up on her clothes search in favour of a hangover cure that she spotted Cotton's parrot, high up on the rigging... with something white and lace-trimmed on his head!

"Get down here now!" she yelled, though her aching head swiftly wished she hadn't, and the rest of her agreed when the defiant bird just squawked loudly back at her and flew to a higher perch.

"Now, how on Earth did that happen?" asked a half-dressed Jack as he staggered up behind his lover, immediately realising her predicament.

"I don't suppose we shall ever know" she sighed, "I don't suppose I shall ever get those back either" she added, a hand going to her head as a wave of pain and nausea hit her full force.

Just as she turned into Jack's arms, with plans of begging his help in aiding her head, the parrot squawked again, as if laughing at them both:

"Take me now, take me now!" the parrot impersonated, "Ooh Jack, take me now!"

Though it was dark and therefore he could not be sure, Jack was certain his dear Lizzie was by now the brightest shade of red, as more than one of the crew walked on deck and heard the parrots cry.

Though the Captain bit his lip in an attempt not to laugh, he found it very nearly impossible, as Elizabeth buried her head in his shoulder.

"I am never, ever touching rum again!" she declared, "Never again!"