Hey Everybody. Sorry for the delay. I was having creative difficulties with this chapter. Hope you like it.

Chapter 20

It was four in the morning when Jude and Kat stumbled through her front door. They were laughing and still singing the last song they heard at the club. Jude had completely lost track of how much she drank over the night. She felt free from all the anxiety she'd been feeling.

"You want another drink?" She asked Kat as she was walking into the kitchen.

"I think I'm going to pass. I need to get at least a couple of hours of sleep." Kat laughed.

"Party pooper." Jude pouted and poured herself a glass of wine. She went outside to have one last cigarette before going to bed.

The crisp night air felt good against her skin. She wished she could always feel this carefree. Finishing her wine and cigarette, she decided Kat had the right idea to go to bed. She didn't even change before passing out cross ways on her bed.

Tommy woke up the next morning with a smile on his face. He showered and shaved quickly. He couldn't wait to see Jude. He imagined her beautiful face in his mind. She was truly his everything and he'd missed her more in these last few days than he'd missed during their years apart. He never wanted to be away from her again.

Kat checked on Jude before she left for the day. She was passed out across her bed. Dealing with her own hangover, she decided not to try to wake her. The previous night had been a lot of fun. It was nice to see Jude have fun. Her smile had been genuine the whole night. Of course the amount of alcohol they drank could have been the reason. It was still fun. When she was backing out of Jude's driveway she could have sworn she saw Tommy walking across the yard.

First thing Tommy did was put on a pot of coffee. He knew Jude didn't function before her first cup. He walked slowly to her bedroom and pushed the door open. He wasn't sure what to think about the site in front of him. Jude was fully dressed and laying across her bed. The whole room reeked of smoke and alcohol. He could tell the smell was coming from her clothes. She never smoked in the house.

He just shook his head before going back to the kitchen. He knew she was going to need coffee more than ever. He called Wally and told him Jude was taking the day off. She was still completely out of it when he returned to the room.

Sitting the coffee on the night stand he kneeled by her head. "Jude." He said softly.

Jude was some where between consciousness and sleep. Her mouth was cotton dry and her head was pounding. She thought she was waking up, but she heard Tommy's voice and new she was dreaming. Tommy wasn't supposed to be home until next week.

"Jude?" He said again shaking her shoulder a bit.

"Hmm?" She groaned.

"Jude, wake up."

Jude sat up in a start. She was dizzy and instantly ran to the bathroom to throw up. She hated her self for going out the night before. She groaned again when she remembered she had to work. The good thing was she didn't have any lessons to give.

"I called Wally and told him you wouldn't be in today." Tommy said from the door way.

"Shit." Jude screamed and held her head. "What… How… I thought …"

"You don't remember me waking you up?" He laughed.

"I thought I was dreaming. I thought you weren't getting back until at least the weekend."

"Darius needs me here in the studio more than he needs me at auditions."

"Oh." Jude said before her stomach did flips and she was heaving again.

Tommy rushed to her and held back her back. He tried to comfort her by rubbing circles on her back. "How much did you drink last night?"

Jude wiped her mouth and groaned. "I don't remember. The girls and I went to a club. I just wanted to have some fun. I hated coming home and missing you." She said turning to face him.

"Why don't you freshen up and I'll make you breakfast?"

She couldn't help but smile. "Okay." Tommy leaned in to kiss her, but Jude moved her head and his lips ended up on her cheek. "Barf breath." She explained.

"Right." Tommy kissed her forehead and left the bathroom.

While in the shower Jude let the hot water relax the tension caused by her hang over. She thought about the last few days without Tommy, and was glad he was home. As she stepped out to dry off her anxiety came back full force. Tommy was in her house and she hadn't been expecting him. What if he found her stash? He wouldn't understand her needing a little help to knock the edge off. He'd always prided himself on being drug free. It was one of the things Jude had always admired him for.

Tommy wasn't surprised when he couldn't find anything to cook for breakfast. Even though Jude could cook now, she still ate out more than she cooked. He decided he'd order breakfast from the café a couple of blocks over. They would defiantly need to go to the store sometime during the day.

"Hey, I ordered breakfast from the café. You have nothing here." Tommy said when she rushed into the kitchen. He noticed she looked panicked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Sorry I forgot I hadn't been to the store. Kat and I have been eating out."

"No worries. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay."

While he was gone, Jude rushed around the house. She made sure she had everything put up. In the back of her mind she knew that she was doing something wrong if she was trying to hide it. But she just rationalized it by saying Tommy wouldn't understand.

She was in the kitchen when he got back. "Hope you are hungry." He said sitting the bags on the counter.

"Starved." She said smiling.

"So your stomach is feeling better?"

"Yeah." They sat and ate breakfast and Tommy told her all about the auditions he had to sit through.

"It was like they got worse as the day went on."

"It sounds horrible."

"Yeah, I hated leaving you though."

"It's okay. I'm grown I can take care of myself."

"I know. I just missed you." He said leaning over to kiss her.

"I missed you, too." She said pulling back. "So do you have to go to G Major today?"

"No, Darius is expecting me tomorrow. So, today can be all about us."

"Perfect." She said meeting his lips again. When the kiss deepened, Tommy stood up and carried her to her bedroom.

Jude felt completely calm watching Tommy sleep. His lips were turned up into a slight smile and his eyes fluttered. She wondered what he was dreaming about as she listened to his quiet snore. She snuggled closer to him and his arms tightened around her. She let herself drift off to a peaceful nap.

"Babe?" Tommy said waking her some time later.

"Huh?"

"Why don't we get up and get to the store. Someone owes me a dinner tonight."

"Okay." She said sitting up. She met his lips in a soft kiss before getting out of bed. "I'm just going to get a quick shower."

"I'll be waiting.'

They spent the rest of the day grocery shopping and getting things they both needed around their houses. Jude found it nice to act like a normal couple. In the check out line she started feeling like everyone was watching her. It made all her good feelings from the day just disappear.

Tommy noticed Jude tense up. "Why don't you go wait in the car. I will get all of this."

"Thank you." She said in a small voice.

Tommy kissed her forehead and watched her walk out. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but he knew she was feeling uncomfortable being in public.

Jude walked to the car quickly. Her heart was racing and her hands were sweating. It frustrated her that she couldn't go a day without freaking out. Especially when she was having a great day with Tommy. She sat in the car and took a couple of deep breaths. She took a Xanax hoping it would calm her quickly. She just wanted to get home.

After Tommy put everything in the trunk, he slid into the driver's seat. "Are you okay?" He asked taking her hand.

"Yeah, I just felt like they were all watching me." She said staring at their hands and not looking him in the eyes.

"Well, let's go home." He said kissing her hand before starting the car.

The drive home was in silence. Jude was still trying to fight the panic feeling, while Tommy wished he knew how to help her. He knew she would feel pressured if he tried to talk her into talking to someone, but he didn't know what else he could do. He just had to figure out the best way to approach the subject with her.

"So, I was thinking we should have dinner at your place. Kat is staying with me and she shouldn't mind me not being home tonight." Jude said as they were unloading groceries.

"That sounds good to me. I hate for you to leave her alone though. I don't want to seem rude stealing you away from her."

"She has seen how much I missed you this week."

Kat was stressing majorly all day. It was noon before she recovered from her hang over, and it was one of those days where everything that could go wrong went wrong. First one of her models had come down with the flu and had to quit the show. Then the replacement model was a completely different size. She was going to have to spend all night working on the dresses for the new model. It made her nervous to leave Jude alone for a night. What if she had a breakdown and no one was there to support her.

She was about to call her when her cell rang. "I was just about to call you." She said answering.

"Really? What's up?"

"I am going to be stuck here all night. One of my models got sick, so I have to redo the dresses for another model."

"Yikes."

"Yeah, so are you going to be okay?"

"Kat, I'm fine. Tommy came home early. So, we are going to have dinner at his house. I'll probably just spend the night with him. Don't worry about me."

"Good. I just didn't want to ditch you." Kat said in relief.

"I'll see you tomorrow night at your show."

"Okay." Kat was glad Tommy was home before she went back to New York. She really wanted to talk to him about her concerns.

Tommy loved being in the comforts of his own home. Jude kicked him out of the kitchen and told him he wasn't allowed back in until dinner was ready. So, he kicked back on the couch and watched TV. The smell coming from the kitchen was mouth watering and he couldn't wait to see what she was making.

Cooking for Jude was like music. It was something that she could put her complete focus on. She twirled around the kitchen sipping her ice tea. It was the first time she could remember not drinking wine while cooking. After the previous night, she wasn't ready to drink alcohol. She just lost her self in recipes.

After getting everything ready, she set the table and called Tommy in the kitchen. "Babe, everything is ready."

"Great because I am starving."

Dinner was nice and relaxing. Tommy was once again impressed by Jude's cooking. He decided while she seemed happy and relaxed he would mention to her what he was thinking. "Have you thought about talking to a grief consular?"

"Why?" Jude asked shocked.

"Well, I know you are still dealing with everything with loosing your mom, and I thought if you talked to someone maybe…"

"I don't need therapy, Tommy." She said defensively.

"It might help."

"I just need time." She said barely above a whisper.

"I hate seeing you sad all the time."

"How's therapy going to help that? Huh? You think that will bring her back and everything will be just fine?"

"Jude, come on."

"You know what? I'm going to go home and sleep tonight. I need space." She said standing up and throwing her napkin on the table.

"Jude…" But she was out the door before he could really react. He knew if he followed her it would make thinks worse.

Jude felt like she couldn't breathe while she was running home. She thought Tommy was the one person she could trust to just give her time to deal. It wasn't just anybody who died. It was her mother. She threw herself on her bed and cried herself into a restless dream filled sleep.

There you go. Please Review. It helps me stay motivated to write. I am going to try to start on the next chapter this week. I just have to work on the next chapter of my other fic too.