Note: Updated and corrected April2017 PT

Nariel the Red

Chapter 21: Love and Death

Nariel pulled herself back and looked at Legolas in shock.

"Why did you do that?"

She asked stepping back slightly.

"Because I've always wanted to."

He said smiling at his own realisation.

"I just didn't realise it until just now"

Slowly Nariel brought her hand up to her mouth and touched her lip.

"What?... Why?"

But she didn't wait for an answer. Suddenly she was running towards her room and she couldn't breathe. As Legolas watched her go he sank down onto the ground and wondered how things had gone so wrong.

Nariel stood with her back against the door struggling to breathe. She had run all the way back to her room and slammed the door shut behind her. She was so confused. Legolas had kissed her, said he had wanted to kiss her. And now she was standing trying to get her breath back. He had been so angry and then he had kissed her. Her lips tingled at the memory. What was happening? When had things changed?

No, she was not going to think like this. These were bad thoughts. She was definitely not going to think about how much she wanted him to kiss her again. And a lot more, her treacherous brain added. No. She didn't want to think about this. How was she going to talk to him again without those thoughts running through her head?

She sat down heavily in an armchair by the fire. What was wrong with her? She knew she felt something for him, and wasn't that supposed to be a good thing. No it wasn't 'something'. She was in love with the prince and she always had been. Wasn't that why she tormented him so often? Why she did everything that she could to draw his attention? And Legolas had kissed her. Shouldn't she be deliriously happy instead of hiding in her rooms terrified? Why was she so upset?

The answer was obvious. It was Love and Death. The two went together in her mind. Like her mother and father, like her grandparents. If you loved someone you had to watch them die. She had learnt that at 12yrs old and it had been proved true again and again. She tried to be rational about it. Legolas was an elf. He wasn't mortal. He wouldn't age. He wasn't going to grow old and die. But he wasn't invulnerable. He was a warrior in Mirkwood where spiders and orcs were common. OK he was one of the most talented warriors in the Great Wood, the whole of Arda in fact, and neither yrch nor ungol were a match for him, but all it took was one lucky hit from an enemy, just one and he would be as dead as any mortal.

Her thoughts were going around in circles. None of this was helping her figure out what to do. Suddenly her father's face appeared in her mind. A half remembered conversation from when she was a child. A conversation between her father and grandfather on her mother's grave so long ago.

"I told Caraneth once, that it wasn't right to keep you away. But she wouldn't listen. She said it would be easier for you both to be apart. It's not is it? Now that it's happened."

"No it's not. She's still gone."

She wasn't supposed to have heard it. Her Grandmother had been taking her away so that she wouldn't but she had. She hadn't really understood those words when she had first heard them. But now she did. Would she feel any different if Legolas were to die tomorrow? Would it hurt any less? Was her father right? Or was her mother?

Nariel was 4years old when her cousin Orhyht was born. She hadn't been allowed into the hall until after he had been born. But now she was sitting beside her mother as she held the tiny sleeping bear-cub in her arms. Her Uncle Grimbeorn was sitting beside his sleeping wife Huningberend and suddenly there was something that the young girl had to ask her mother.

"Mama. Why are you not with Ada?"

She had been told all about her father, the wizard in the woods, but she had never seen him.

"Because one day my flame, I will die as all mortals must. But Radagast is not mortal. He is immortal. You see I love your father so much that I cannot let him watch me die. It would hurt him too much and so we are apart."

"But don't you miss him?"

"I miss him every day. But it is better this way. I remember the good times that we had together. We will always have those wonderful memories and I will not taint them with sorrow."

Nariel shook herself out of the bittersweet memories of her mother. She couldn't think about his now. There was going to be a feast that night, now that Frodo was awake, and she had to get ready.

Walking through to the bedroom she glared at the wardrobe. She opened the door and groaned in distaste. Dresses. She hated dresses. She pulled out a dark green gown and laid it on the bed. She would have to wear it, she had no choice. She bathed as quickly as she could and changed.

Standing in front of the mirror she tried to do something with her hair. She wasn't having much luck. Usually she just let it do what it wanted, she never cared much what people thought of her appearance. But for some reason she wanted to make an effort. If she was going to wear this atrocity of a gown she might as well try her best to look like a lady.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Nariel stood up and rushed to answer it. Maybe it would be Legolas, come to talk to her, to sort everything out. Quickly she yanked the door open but she was disappointed.

Outside was a beautiful elven maiden who bore a striking resemblance to Lord Elrond.

"Lady Arwen"

She said confused

"What are you doing here?"

The lady laughed.

"Aragorn told me about your hatred of formal clothing and I thought I could help."

Nariel stepped back letting her in thankful to have some help.

"Thank you, I can't seem to do a thing with my hair."

Arwen helped Nariel get ready while they talked. They had met only once before. Aragorn had introduced them when they had first arrived, but they were comfortable around each other. Nariel thought about Arwen and Aragorn. It was obvious that they were in love, even if Aragorn himself hadn't told her. And yet Arwen would have to suffer his death one day. As they made to leave for the evening meal Nariel felt she had to ask, for her own piece of mind.

"Is it worth it?"

Arwen looked her straight in the eye knowing exactly what she was referring to without having to ask. And although the Evenstar had been debating that very question she answered with the only answer that she could because it was what she truly believed.

"Yes. It's worth it."