A/N: This chapter has been edited from its original version to work better with the edited version of Chapter 20. No plot points have been changed.

Chapter Twenty-One

After he woke up the following morning Nathan spent a good half hour believing he was in fact still asleep. There was no way his arms would be wrapped around a naked, perfect Commander Shepard if he was awake. But it wasn't often he had such vivid dreams so he lay there quietly, nose buried in her thick hair, chest pressed against her back, worried that if he moved he would wake up sooner. He breathed in her scent and tightened his arms on bare, soft skin.

She murmured and shifted in her sleep and he held his breath, sure the dream was about to end, but when he blinked she was still there. He let out his breath, and that was what convinced him that he was actually awake – in dreams he was always too preoccupied with what was happening to notice his own breathing.

He gazed down at her in wonder, the previous night replaying in glorious clarity in his mind. The sex had been fantastic, particularly the look on her face as she moaned and writhed in response to his touch… That look was intoxicating, he wanted to see it again and again. She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman he had ever-

Shepard rolled slightly and let out a loud snore.

Nathan choked back a laugh, feeling a smile spread across his face. Of course she snored. She snorted when she laughed, had the worst one-liners he had ever heard, tripped over her own feet when she wasn't in combat… she was Shepard. He loved it. All of it. His body shook as he lost the battle to suppress his silent laughter.

Shepard stirred, then mumbled and turned over, bleary-eyed and blinking. "Wha… Nathan? What's wrong?"

He shook his head, grinning. "Never mind. Sorry."

She frowned and tried to sit up, tiredly rubbing her nose. "Are you laughing at me?"

He pulled her back down into the circle of his arms. He wasn't quite ready to let her go just yet. "No," he told her. "Well, maybe. You snore, that's all."

She gave him a disbelieving look over her shoulder. "I do not snore."

"You do," he murmured into her neck, gently nuzzling with lips and nose.

"Not true," she argued softly, relaxing back against him. "I've never heard myself snore."

Terrible, terrible one-liners.

He chuckled, kissing his way slowly down her neck. He ran his hand down the length of her side, luxuriating in the silky feel of her skin and the barely visible coiled muscles beneath. She sighed in pleasure, but then groaned in a way that had nothing to do with him. "What's the time?" she asked, rolling over in his arms and craning her head to see the chrono on the bedside table.

"Early," he told her, shifting onto his back and pulling her on top of him. For such a strong woman, she was so light. He had been able to lift her off her feet easily last night. More Cerberus mods? "Very early. So early that we should probably go back to sleep. Or, you know, there are other things we could do."

She rested her chin on her hands atop his chest. Her sleepy eyes sparkled with amusement and her long hair fell forward over her shoulders, tickling his skin. "Other things, huh?"

"Mmhm. I can think of plenty of things we could do." He pulled her down for a kiss, then shifted his lips to her ear and told her exactly what he had been thinking.

When she lifted her head, her blue eyes were dark. "You're going to need to show me some of those things you just said, Lieutenant," she said.

He grinned. He loved it when she used his rank, and he had a feeling she was fully aware of that. He rolled her over again, reversing their positions so she was pinned under his weight, looking up at him with those beautiful ocean-blue eyes. Leaning down, he began with the first thing.

Shepard groaned happily, stretching. The second thing he had shown her had taken quite a bit of stamina. She was exhausted… but in a good way. Nathan had propped himself up beside her. He leaned over and shifted some damp hair out of her eyes. "Again?" he teased.

She laughed and groaned again, shaking her head. "I don't think I can move anymore."

He kissed her, seeming awfully proud of that. "You'll have to lie here all day then," he murmured smugly into her ear, planting another kiss on her cheekbone.

She twined her fingers around his neck, playing with the damp hair at the base of his scalp. If only she could. "We can't stay in orbit over Tuchanka forever."

"We don't have to leave right away though, do we?"

She shook her head. "No. It will take days for the krogan to be ready to head to Palaven. But there are still things I need to do." She had a lot to do, actually. She had to check her terminal for messages, speak to Hackett, receive EDI's report, check in with the rest of the crew… everything she had planned to do before he had jumped into the elevator with her yesterday. She had no idea how long they had been in bed for this morning, but it had been very early when they had woken up. Hopefully it wasn't too late in the morning now.

She glanced over at the chrono and winced. They had missed breakfast.

She sat up and made to head to the shower, but Nathan grabbed her hand before she could get up. "How do you want to handle… this?" he asked awkwardly, indicating the two of them.

Oh. They did need to have that talk. Shepard sighed in frustration. If they weren't aboard an Alliance military ship, if there weren't reporters like al'Jilani following her every move, things would be so much easier. She didn't really know how she wanted to handle those things. She only knew that she liked Nathan a lot and wanted to be with him. The stubborn side of her didn't want to break things off for the sake of how it would appear to others, but the practical, dutiful side…

Nathan sat up and turned away. She had been silent for too long. "Look, it's okay. I understand. How about we just treat this as a hell of a fun night and leave it at that?" he said. His voice was flippant, as usual, but he did a terrible job at trying to hide the hurt behind his words.

Her eyes widened and it was her turn to reach out for him. The last thing she wanted was for him to think even for a second that he was just some kind of stress relief. She scooted closer and gently pulled him back around to face her. "I don't want to do that," she told him firmly.

"You don't?"

She shook her head. "No. I… want to see you again. I want to find out where this thing between us goes."

His relieved smile prompted one of her own. He gently pressed his forehead to hers. "Good. So do I." Then he sighed and pulled away. "We could both get in a lot of shit for this, though. You in particular. Your face is all over the news, the press'll have a field day. And then there's the regs…"

Shepard felt a pang of nerves. He was right, it would be very difficult for the two of them to see one another. She might be willing to put herself through that, but it came with the territory for her. She didn't really have the right to ask him to do it too. "I can handle Hackett, but it'll turn into a problem if the media finds out. We will have to keep it quiet, even around the crew. Not so much the ground team, but the rest of the crew… It won't be easy. I understand if you're not interested in that sort of—"

"Shepard," Nathan interrupted. "I was more worried about you than me. I don't care about regs or having to hide if it means I get to be with you."

God, that was corny. So corny. But her treacherous heart skipped a beat anyway. He was willing to subject himself to what could be some very unwelcome scrutiny and possible repercussions just to be with her. She kissed him, wondering how his lips could be so new and exciting but feel so familiar at the same time.

With an effort she cut it short before it could get heated. "You had better go first, then. Take a shower if you want."

He shook his head, getting up. "If I show up all squeaky clean and no one remembers me using the crew shower it'll all be over before it's even begun. I can just say I was up early working out… which I kind of was." He gave her a sly grin, then with a quick final kiss he ducked out. He passed her discarded dress uniform in to her from the anteroom as he went. Shepard smiled to herself as she tucked it into the launderer and stepped into the shower.

Alone with her thoughts, she chuckled ruefully at how tired her legs were, as well as certain other decidedly under-used muscles. The two of them had behaved like a pair of horny teenagers last night, jumping on each other, then again this morning – twice. It had been amazing. And yet, the sex hadn't been the best bit.

It was those brief moments between, or sometimes during, that she had really loved. Moments where they had become thoroughly caught up in each other's eyes, fleetingly conscious of the deeper feelings passing between them. There was an inexplicable feeling of familiarity to his eyes, too, just like there was to his lips. It wasn't that she recognised him from somewhere, or knew of someone who looked like him. Rather, it felt like she was recognising a kindred spirit. A partner. Someone she could share things with and know that he would understand. Someone she could trust to always have her back.

Which seemed completely counterintuitive considering how they had met and how much he had disliked her at the time, but it was there all the same.

She sighed regretfully to herself. As much as she had enjoyed last night and the morning, though, she really did have a lot of work to do and she had to focus on that.

She finished up her shower quickly and dressed in her white BDU shirt and standard fatigues, sans overalls, then headed down to the crew deck to grab a ration bar for a late breakfast. While she was there she ducked her head into Miranda's quarters, but she had already left for her shift.

She had to stifle a laugh as she headed to the elevator, nodding toward various crewmembers as they offered her salutes. She had never thought she would be able to convince Miranda Lawson to take a field commission and don an Alliance uniform, but somehow she had. She was grateful, too; the ex-Cerberus operative had been the best XO she had ever had. Granted she had only had two of those and Pressly, may he rest in peace, came in a very close second, but the point could still be made. Shepard was glad to have her back.

When she arrived in the CIC, she spotted Miranda leaning over the galaxy map. Dressed in uniform with her dark hair tied up in a regulation bun, she blended right in with the rest of the crew. Shepard thought it might take a while longer for her to fully blend in with the crew, socially and professionally, but for now it was enough for her to look the part well enough to be able to perform her job to the best of her ability. "Morning, XO," she greeted her cheerfully.

"Morning Shepard—oh, I suppose I mean Commander," Miranda replied, delivering a picture perfect salute.

Shepard beamed in approval. "Wow. You've been working on that," she commented. The woman had only ever saluted her once during the whole time they had spent hunting the Collectors, but when Miranda had accepted the field commission Shepard had made it clear she would have to follow correct military protocol, which included saluting. So far she had done it scrupulously well.

Miranda gave her an expectant look, holding her salute, waiting for Shepard to return it as per said protocol. Shepard thought about making her wait just because she was in a teasing mood, but decided against it. Miranda wasn't often one for teasing. She nodded instead. "At ease. Anything to report?"

Miranda glanced at Specialist Traynor, who was working at her terminal next to the map. "Actually, yes. You recall that I've been looking into Cerberus activities?" Shepard nodded, chewing on her ration bar. "Well, I found something interesting. I passed it to Specialist Traynor and we agreed it might be worth looking into."

Well, that explained the lack of notice Miranda had paid to her exceptionally good mood. She had been expecting sideways looks at least. "What did you find?" Shepard asked.

Miranda zoomed in on a system on the galaxy map, highlighting a seemingly empty area of space. "The Alliance maintains a number of small recruiting stations throughout Alliance space. They're used primarily to funnel new recruits from nearby planets to the best location for training, and to weed out those who are considered unsuitable. They are used for the recruitment of every role in the armed forces from cooks and engineers to special forces soldiers."

"Yes, I'm aware," Shepard replied.

Miranda nodded. "I recently found out from a source of mine that Cerberus was showing altogether too much interest in one of these stations. This one here, in the Sinerand system." She indicated the blank area of space on the galaxy map. Looking closer, Shepard could just about make out the tiny form of a space station.

"Your source is within Cerberus?"

"Yes, Commander, and before you ask, I do trust them." Shepard raised an eyebrow, remembering the last time Miranda had trusted a source beyond all doubt. Miranda gave her a knowing look and crossed her arms beneath her breasts. "This isn't like Niket. This time the source owes me quite a lot of credits, among other less purchasable things."

"All right, go on. Any idea why Cerberus is interested in a recruiting station?" Shepard finished off her ration bar and tucked the wrapper into a pocket to dispose of later.

Miranda's forehead creased with a frown. "Not… entirely. But the strange thing is that they appear to still be running it as a recruitment station."

"That doesn't sound entirely strange. I can believe Cerberus would recruit people and then deceive them into thinking they were working for the Alliance when in fact they were working for Cerberus."

"That was what I initially thought they were doing. However, my source tells me that overall Cerberus recruitment numbers don't match up."

"Don't match up how? Are they fudging the numbers somehow? Or keeping them off the books entirely, maybe?"

Miranda shook her head and looked at Sam, who jumped in. "Not with this number of people, no ma'am. Each monthly intake consists of approximately fifty recruits. That's six hundred per year. It would take some very creative accounting to hide them, or to provide for their salaries or other forms of upkeep while also keeping them off the books. I would have been able to spot discrepancies like that."

Shepard paced along the edge of the central console, thinking. Sam was right, those kinds of numbers couldn't just be blended in with other teams or be some sort of singular black ops team. "So Cerberus is funnelling people from this station to… where? And for how long have they been doing this?" she mused.

"I looked into that too, ma'am," Sam continued. "The odd thing is that there are nowhere near enough transports away from the station to possibly hold all of the missing recruits. And they've had control of the station for months."

"The station is too small and physically lacks the storage space for supplies to feed and house them all," Miranda added grimly.

Shepard felt a chill spread along her spine, good mood all but gone. She felt the weight of the galaxy piling itself back onto her shoulders and was almost angry about it… except she didn't have the right to be and she knew it. Defeating the Reapers had been made her responsibility and she had to bear it.

"So what are they doing to them that they wouldn't need to feed them?" she wondered aloud. Her mind immediately flew back to the half-husks dressed in Cerberus armour they had fought on Mars. She doubted they would need food. "Could this be where they're getting their husked troops from?"

Miranda nodded slowly. "There's a very high possibility, yes."

Shepard swore to herself. "Joker, how long would it take us to get the Sinerand system?" she called to the ship's comm.

"It's not far, Commander. Twelve hours maybe?"

She nodded. That would leave them enough time to get there, find out what Cerberus was up to, blow whatever it was to hell, then rest up before the big push on Palaven. "Set a course," she ordered. "Miranda, I want the assault team, Joker, and you, Traynor, in the war room at…" she glanced at a chrono, "1400 hours to start working on a plan of attack. You have until then to work out some options for me." She paused. "Good work, Miranda, Traynor."

Miranda gave her a curt nod and a "Yes, Commander," before striding off toward the cockpit. Traynor beamed happily and returned to work.

Shepard moved to her personal terminal and brought up the screen, mind working at a million miles a minute. It would be a huge coup to be able to take out Cerberus' husk processing facility, if that was what this was. If the Illusive Man really had the goal of controlling the Reapers rather than destroying them he would be trying to undermine her efforts to do just that at every opportunity he got. Reducing the size of his army would be crucial to her overall success. But if they were to have any chance of taking out a space station full of Cerberus troops she wanted more soldiers than what she currently had. Her team was good, but needed to be larger. It was time to get on to those messages she had sent.

Her inbox was full of all sorts of things, but she dug through it, searching for three specific messages. She located the one from Tali'Zorah first, opening it up with a smile of relief. She read through it and found her smile growing with pride.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy had been made an Admiral. The young quarian she had first met while on her pilgrimage had turned into such a confident, capable and knowledgeable woman that her people had seen fit to grant her their highest title. While Shepard had been incarcerated on Earth Tali had been working toward peace between her people and the geth, as Admiral Anderson had informed her. In fact, she had just barely managed to head off a war by the skin of her teeth by convincing the other Admirals that the Reapers were a bigger threat. The Admirals still hadn't completely come around, Tali told her, but they were getting there.

With the help of Legion, Tali had arranged a peace conference between her people's representatives and representatives of the geth to discuss at the very least a cessation of hostilities while the galaxy fought the Reapers. Tali said she would do her best to get them to work together but if they just agreed to stop fighting one another for the moment, she would be happy.

Although it meant both Tali and Legion would be unable to join her aboard the Normandy, Shepard was happy. It was a significant weight off her shoulders to know that her friends were okay. It also helped to know the geth and the quarians wouldn't be at each other's throats any time soon.

She located the next message quickly, noting the precise and elegant wording. Only Samara could make an electronic message elegant. The Justicar explained that her code demanded she assist in the fight against the Reapers in the place where it was most needed, and that was certainly at the vanguard of the offensive, aboard the Normandy. Shepard checked the galaxy map, confirmed that Illium wasn't too far out of their way, and responded to Samara asking her to meet them there.

They had a few hours until the Normandy would hit the relay, so Shepard located the final message ahead of entering a change in course. This one was from Jack, and as filled with expletives and bad grammar as she would have expected. Jack had apparently joined the Alliance – Shepard's eyebrows rose at that – and taken up a position at Grissom Academy teaching biotic kids – Shepard's eyebrows almost flew off the top of her head at that. Jack told her that she 'loved the little freaks' but that she would happily leave them in the capable hands of the Academy's principal Kahlee Sanders if it meant she could rejoin Shepard and 'blow some more shit up'. Shepard blinked a couple of times, then sent her the same message she had sent to Samara, asking her to meet them on Illium.

Although she searched, she was unable to find any messages from Thane or Jacob. She hoped they were both all right.

Now that she had two strong biotics to add to her crew, Shepard could start to see her plan of attack take shape, at least in terms of her ground team. She entered the new course in on the galaxy map, then headed back up to her quarters to get to work on planning out a strategy.

A couple of hours later she had made a good start. The station was nothing special; a standard, mass-produced model seen around the galaxy in all kinds of different places performing all sorts of functions. It was an older version of the model, though, which presented some extra opportunities. The newer iterations all used eezo cores for power, while the older ones were still based on fusion reactors and consequently far less stable. This one had a fusion-based power core, which meant that if no other means of shutting down Cerberus' operations could be found, they could just overload the reactor.

It was both reassuring and disquieting to know this, because if she knew about it, so did Cerberus. She wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if it had already been rigged as a failsafe, to be used in the event of an infiltration such as the one they were planning. Of course, that could play right into her hands if she could capture it.

The chime at her door sounded, and Shepard called out, "Come in."

Nathan stepped in, seeming almost on the verge of breaking into laughter. She stood up to meet him, giving him a curious look. "You have no idea what I just went through to get up here without being seen," he told her.

"What happened?" she asked, amused. She was happy to see him. As soon as he had entered the room, she found the stress from the past couple of hours of planning beginning to recede. On a whim she reached out and took his hand, feeling a little unsure about doing it. Their relationship – or whatever it was – was still so new, nothing had been defined yet, including their casual behaviour with one another.

To her delight, he smiled at her and gripped her hand tightly. "Well, the first time I tried to come up, I got on at the cargo bay and Donnelly got on at Engineering. He ended up going to the CIC, so I had to get off there too and try to pretend I had a reason for being there," Nathan explained, entwining his fingers with hers. His voice had a deep, resonating quality to it that she hadn't really noticed before. It sent pleasant little tingles down her spine. Between that and the way he was holding her hand, Shepard felt herself starting to relax.

He continued. "Then after Donnelly had left for the cockpit and I had spent sufficient time faking my way through getting a report off one of the crew stations, I tried to come the rest of the way up. But Traynor followed me into the elevator, so I had to go to the crew deck instead. It was much easier to think of a reason for being there. I just grabbed some food, hopped back on the elevator, and finally made it." He held up a ration bar, then stuffed it back into his pocket.

She couldn't help laughing. "That took a lot of effort."

He grinned, reaching a hand out and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. It was such a normal, affectionate thing to do. She loved it. "Totally worth it," he said. He leaned down and kissed her.

She let her free hand rest on his stomach and melted into him, listening to the hum of the fish tank and the soft tones of the music she was playing as her lips moved against his.

"So, did you come up here just to visit me, then?" she asked softly when the kiss ended.

He shrugged a little sheepishly. "Is that a bad thing?"

She smiled. "Of course not. I'm glad you came. But… I do have work to do," she told him regretfully.

He nodded. "For the assault on that recruitment station, right. I got the message from Miranda. How's that going?"

She turned away and paced a few steps. "Well enough. We'll be stopping at Illium first to pick up a couple more people and then we'll hit the place straight after that."

"More of your old team?"

"Yes. Jack and Samara are the strongest biotics I've ever known."

"Biotics, huh? I had a couple of biotics on my old squad. Dangerfield, although she was primarily a sniper, and Ngandu. Ngandu was such an asshole but he could throw one hell of a singularity."

Shepard listened, interested. She had never heard him talk about his old team before. It was easy to forget that before he came to be a part of her team, he had commanded his own squad. "Where are they all now?" she asked.

He shook his head, agitated. "I don't know. Last I heard, three months ago, they were stationed on Garnerus out in the Terminus Systems. My old XO Harris took over, so I know they're in good hands. If they were still on Garnerus when Earth was hit, they'll probably be all right…" he trailed off, grimacing.

She went to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to ask Hackett to find out?" she asked.

He blinked and looked up, startled. "Oh, shit, well yeah, I suppose you could do that, couldn't you? I mean, shit, he just lent you a whole fleet, in terms of favours this would be small potatoes."

She felt her face warming a little. "He doesn't just do things because I askhim nicely," she protested.

Nathan grinned. "I know that, but you do have a direct line to the man and you do have the ability to ask him for favours no ordinary officer would be able to." He winked. "That's kind of cool. Besides, isn't he a friend of yours?"

Shepard shook her head. "I wouldn't call him a friend. We have a healthy respect for one another, and I think of him as somewhat of a mentor, but that's about it."

"Well, that's more than most people get from him. I haven't even spoken to the man." He leaned down and kissed her on the nose. "Sorry for teasing you. It would be great if you could find out if my old team is okay."

Shepard had the feeling that he was thinking of her as cute again. She wasn't sure what she thought about that. On one hand it was nice knowing that her lover had so much affection for her and wanted to look after her. But on the other, being thought of as cute often meant being thought of as needing protection, and she couldn't afford to have one of her marines jumping out of perfectly good cover to save her ass if she took a bullet in the field.

"Briggs…" she began, not sure how to broach the subject. In the end she decided to be direct. "There's another conversation we should have had this morning."

He stepped back, seeming to realise this would be serious. "Okay."

"We're going to be going out into the field a lot together. When we're out there, you can't be trying to take care of me. I need to be able to trust that you'll do the job I give you without hesitating, even if that's to stand back in cover while I run into a firefight. I need to know that out there you'll treat me like your CO, and nothing else."

He made a face. "I knew this would come up. Look, I've thought about it, and I know you're right. This won't work between us unless I can do that. I won't pretend to like it if you decide to charge into heavy melee with a gunship or something but you know what?" He gave her a lop-sided grin. "I know who you are. You're Commander fucking Shepard. No puny little gunship is going to take you down. I think… I hope I'll remember that when it happens."

She grinned at him. It did sound as though he had thought about this. "If it helps, I've taken down at least three gunships on foot so far."

Nathan shook his head. "That is so hot."

Shepard laughed. "Get out of here, Lieutenant."

He tossed her a quick salute and winked. "Yes, ma'am."