The week had passed her by faster than she could have expected it to. She was down to one exam. Thankfully she had managed to avoid Addie, but on the contrary was still being tortured by her followers.
Meredith had nearly gnawed off her fingernails during her last exam of the week. She had studied her ass off, spending almost every night that week at Cristina's, knowing that once she finished them, she would be free for the summer. She had breezed by all the others, now realizing she should have studied more for her history exam last night, instead of playing around with Derek. He had made her dinner, spaghetti, and in the midst of her wrapped in her book, notecards splayed across the floor, he had convinced her to take a break, leading to things she couldn't get out of her head at the moment.
She brought herself back to reality, rolling her head, temporarily relieving the cramp in her neck. She picked up her pencil and filled in the remaining bubbles, determined to get it over with. She looked up to see Cris turning in her paper just as she finished her last question and quickly grabbed her stuff to meet up with her in the hallway, after turning hers in as well.
"That was brutal." Meredith said, heading towards her locker to get it cleaned out. She had made it. She was finally done with school for three whole months.
"You're telling me something I already know…" Cristina added opening her locker. A huge guy she thought might have been a junior shoved between them, pulling open his locker. The girls looked at each other, their noses crinkling in disgust. He had obviously been in football practice. When he finally grabbed his stuff and walked away, the giggles were flowing, in disbelief that someone could reek that badly.
"Oh my god. Now THAT was brutal…" Meredith laughed as she pulled her remaining books out, and slammed her locker shut.
"What, the fact that you can betray your flesh and blood?" She heard a snappy voice emerge from behind her. She whipped around, here sister's eyes burning straight through her.
"Addison, please…don't do this. Not here." Meredith eyed Cristina, who motioned to meet her at the car when she was done.
"I am only giving you what you deserve. You betrayed me. You slept with my boyfriend!" She said, anger seething through her veins. Meredith knew that she had hurt her sister…She just wanted things to be how they were years ago…before things got so complicated.
"Addison, I'm sorry. I know that must have hurt you, but I didn't sleep with him until after he left you." Meredith argued, wanting something…anything…to prevent this argument from happening. She had finally gotten past it, sharing happiness and joy with Derek the past week. "Besides…didn't you cheat on him with his best friend?" Meredith added.
"You have no right to judge me Meredith…you didn't have a clue what our relationship was like. You have no clue what it's like to fall in love for real." Addison said, Meredith seeing softness in her body language she hadn't seen in years.
"I might not know what its like Addison…But being with him has made me feel amazing. He has been the first person to pay attention and care for me. I can't even feel cared for at home. Mom is never there and you hate me." Meredith said, tears pricking her eyes. "Derek is the first person who has ever loved me."
"But why did you have to fall in love with him, Mer? Why him?" Addison pleaded, wanting a resolution.
"Don't you get it? You can't help who you fall in love with. You can't choose. It just happens." Meredith spat, a tear finally rolling down her cheek. Addison stared at her sister, a deafening silence filling the hallway. Everyone had left, it was just them.
"Don't you think I know that Meredith? Do you think I would have slept with Mark if I didn't' care for him? Do you think I haven't felt guilty that I cheated on Derek? It kills me to know that I hurt him, but he's not my family. You are and you betrayed me. That is why I'm mean to you Meredith. You hurt me, just like you did when we were little. This is all your fault! Just go away Meredith!" Addison said, the tears spilling down her cheeks also. She fell against the locker, sliding down to the floor, sobs wracking her body. Meredith didn't know how to react. After years of her sister being cold towards her, not giving a shit, here she was laying on the floor in front of her, broken down, with no one to save her.
Meredith sat at the kitchen table and watched her mother scrub the countertop with a sponge. She looked tired, sad, as if her soul was no longer a part of her. Her actions were almost robotic, no speaking, just cleaning, like she was made only to do that. She slid out of her chair to the floor and walked out of the room, her mother never stopping to see where she was going.
"Addie?" Meredith called getting no response. She walked through the living room, clutching her stuffed bear. She slowly climbed the staircase, her eyes peeled for a certain redhead. As she mounted the top stair, she noticed a small light peeking under the door of her sister's room. She knocked twice with her tiny fist, waiting for a reply.
"Go away Meredith." She heard a small voice snap back. She had never seen Addie act this way. Tears brimmed the seven-year-olds eyes as she stood patiently at the door of the person she adored. Her sister always knew what to do to make it all better. After another minute of silence, she finally reached up, turning the doorknob, desperately wanting Addie.
"Meredith, I said to leave me alone." Addison said, sitting in her window, staring at the night sky.
"But Addie…" She said with a whimper. Addison jumped up pushing her towards the hallway.
"No, Meredith. This is all your fault. Just go away!" She yelled as she slammed the door in her face. Meredith ran to her room, crying the whole way, pleading through her sobs for someone to come hold her…anyone…to just save her. But no one ever came.
Meredith kneeled down in front of her sister, who was crying and yelling at her, just like it was ten years ago. She pulled her into her arms, holding her, hoping Addie would forgive her, and realize that all she wanted was her sister back.
"Addie, its okay. I never meant to hurt you. Not now, not then. I'm so sorry, please…" Addison looked up at her sister through mascara stained eyes.
"Meredith…I…Just please go away." She said in a whisper through her sobs. Meredith nodded in defeat as she grabbed her stuff and headed towards the parking lot. Her mind was swimming, not knowing how to process what had just happened. She felt like she had almost gotten through, like a barrier had been broken after all of these years, but still no luck. Cristina was asleep against the headrest of her car, the music blaring through the speakers. Meredith slammed the door when she got in, scaring Cristina to death.
"God Mer…let's just slam the door…" Her person spat, sitting up and reversing the car.
"Sorry Cris…I just want to relax tonight…. Derek's picking me up in a couple of hours, I think…" Meredith replied, turning down the music.
"What happened in the hallway…. She just showed up out of no where…" Cristina said, sitting at a stoplight.
"Yeah...thanks for leaving me there all alone…" She replied sarcastically.
"Sorry…. I was scared to stay there…. Addie is a crazy bitch…" Cris said giggling.
"She just freaked out and then started crying. I really don't care though. What is the plan for the afternoon?" She said trying to change the subject. She really loved her sister still, after all of these years of pain, but she didn't want anyone to know what had happened between them. Her past was full of painful memories that she wasn't ready to deal with, and today just wasn't the time of place. Her heart had hurt for way to long and she was just ready to be free of the drama and spend the summer with Derek, starting over fresh….being herself.