-o-O-o-
Chapter 21
"We've reached the co-ordinates," announced Joker. "Hurry up and go do your weird mind thing. And good luck."
"Thanks, Joker." Kaidan was already stood in the shuttle bay, ready to go. It wasn't like he'd needed to armour up.
Garrus had insisted on coming with him even though he was just as unarmed, and Kaidan suddenly appreciated his company. What he was about to do – interacting with the rachni - was ground-breaking. If it worked. This whole situation was a complete unknown, and he had no way to prepare for it. Nevertheless, he quickly boarded the shuttle with Garrus, leaving the hatch open.
Kaidan's eyes landed on the Sand-tiger as he turned to face outwards, remembering the night she'd come up with the idea of the prototype. They'd been walking past an advertisement for the latest new and improved sky-car and she'd literally gasped and grabbed hold of him. Automatically reacting, he'd drawn his pistol, ready for whatever was coming at them. Terra had burst into laughter, teasing him that the advert wasn't that bad. Her eyes had been sparkling with happiness…. They wouldn't be like that anymore.
Continually haunting him, the sickening footage of her being drowned and the whip tearing through her skin, ruined the memory. Swallowing the bile at the back of his throat, Kaidan nodded at Cortez to take them across, and focused on the screen that gave him a view of the strange rachni ship that looked more akin to a Collector ship.
It still seemed amazing to him that a species as insect-like as the rachni, could produce ships at all. He didn't mean to sound patronising, but they were so basic in every other way. Their whole way of life needed no technology – not even their communication - yet here they were, more advanced when it came to space-faring than his own species had been before the prothean data discoveries. It boggled his mind. It was like they had the technological knowledge, but had, for the most part, rejected it.
Only when they drifted closer did Kaidan realise that the ship was actually a large and very out-dated turian hauler which had been patched with some kind of organic matter. So that was how they did it. Why make ships when you could repair those that came right to you. No doubt some hapless mercs or miners thought they could plunder the rachni planet's resources and found more than they bargained for.
Now he was about to enter a ship full of them. Their past alliances did nothing to alleviate the disquiet in him.
The shuttle passed into the rachni ship, its lighting dim. Through the gaps in the organic matter that covered most of the surfaces, Kaidan could see the ship had been stripped back to its hull; hollowed, to make the most of the space for the mass of rachni that accompanied their queen. He understood exactly why Joker had voiced his relief they weren't boarding Normandy, after his last rachni encounter; there was barely a space that wasn't filled with a rachni soldier.
Yet when he stepped off the shuttle as Cortez settled it on the deck, the rachni parted for him, and with a deep breath, Kaidan walked towards the waiting queen, with no idea what would come next.
An asari stood beside the queen – a reassuring presence, along with Garrus at his back – and she stepped forward.
"Welcome."
Kaidan blinked. She sounded like the holo-guides scattered about the Citadel, and it was so at odds with this environment that it completely threw him. "Um…I'm not sure how this is going to work…." The comment died on his lips as the queen lowered her head.
The asari's eyes went white. "Our ancestors memories are clear. We remember the mercy that allowed the rachni to live again. We remember the song of victory over the sour note of the machines who sought to use our children. We remember the crescendo drowning out those who brought us to near-extinction. Our existence and our justice was given by the one you seek. We will try to carry you on our song, in searching notes of white, to find the colours of Shepard."
"Wow," commented Garrus. "And…how exactly are you going to do that? It's just that I'd have to object if it involves anything that might turn his brain to mush. I made a promise to a certain little girl that her daddy would be safe."
Kaidan's chest tightened at that.
The asari appeared to be herself again. "You need not worry. There is no danger. Interaction will be difficult however. Unlike asari minds, few other races are able to open their minds to allow the rachni's song. It is only possible when their lives are ending."
Garrus nudged him. "For the record, that's not an option."
"No argument here," returned Kaidan.
"But the queen believes that it may succeed with me as a link," informed the asari.
"You're talking about a mind meld."
"Yes. Through me, a two-way connection could be made."
"You're okay with this?" Kaidan checked, ignoring his own discomfort at the thought of 'melding' with this stranger.
"It is uncharted territory, but I trust the queen would not place me in harm's way."
Kaidan looked up at the queen. "Please. Let's try this."
Above him, the queen made a high-pitched shriek, while the asari stepped closer. "Relax. Open your mind. Embrace Eternity."
Her eyes went black and Kaidan was hit with the force of her mind, invading like a punch without the pain, stealing the air while leaving him breathing, and he resisted the urge to defend himself against it. Yet there was no further intrusion. This wasn't about passing over information, or retrieving it; she was merely a conduit.
And then it came. The rachni queen's song came in odd sounds that made no sense to him, but tweaked at his mind, urging him to listen for Terra. It was an odd concept, but he gave himself to it.
Suddenly, the 'music' grew louder, and the whole galaxy opened up to him via pathways that were visualised in his mind through a myriad of colours streaked with white that merged and shone, branching out in thousands of directions, and it was as though he were physically rushing through them as the queen sang.
Aware that he was getting distracted from his purpose by the overwhelming immensity of this, Kaidan attempted to bring forth the feeling he'd experienced with his children. He wasn't sure he knew how to reach out, but the tingling sensation at his nape eased his concern that this would fail because of his ineptitude.
Kites Nest. It was a directional thought and the pathways snapped into one and veered with startling velocity, focused.
Harsa system. Once again the pathway separated like hundreds of searching fingers, and all Kaidan could do was concentrate, desperately hoping he could feel his wife through one of them. All he needed was the faintest touch to give him a destination.
When those branches began to collapse and he was pushed onwards, Kaidan wanted to protest, but there was new urging from the queen. This wasn't where Terra was. With no option but to trust in the queen's instinct, he was carried on.
Indris system. More searching fingers. Some of those were directed at places he already knew were fruitless from his own search here. Nothing. Terra wasn't here either, and there was a little relief for Kaidan. It meant he hadn't been close to her before he'd aimed the ship away.
Onwards. Vular system. When the pathways closed in on him again with no discovery, he held his breath.
Untrel system. Kaidan couldn't decide whether he was enlivened that this was the last one, or frightened to death that he'd find that same emptiness as each system before.
But then he felt something. It wasn't warm like Rorie and Nate, but it was still familiar, the way only someone with the same unique spores could feel. His heart beat hard in his chest, and hope soared. Attuned to him, the queen focused the pathway, and the connection he'd found grew stronger. With it came an innate certainty that this was Terra. He'd found her.
Terra, I'm here.
In response, there came an intense emotion that forced him back. It was fear. He'd frightened her, and there had been something else there he hadn't been able to identify in that brief moment. Kaidan tried to reach her again, but this time, though he could still sense her, there was no response. She was denying him, and he couldn't talk to her.
When the pathway started to recede he pleaded with the queen to let him stay longer, but it was ignored. His connection to Terra faded to nothing, and he felt the loss deep. Common sense told him he had what he needed, but it was like he was leaving her behind again.
With a rush, Kaidan found himself back on the rachni ship, disoriented, and Garrus' hand on his shoulder steadied him as the asari stepped back.
"Did it work?" Garrus asked.
"I know where she is," Kaidan confirmed.
"Hurry," spoke the queen, through the asari. "Her colours are fading. The blackened yellow pervades like the fierce red to drown out the beautiful tones."
Fading…. Kaidan was already moving backwards. "Thank you." Then he was running back to the shuttle. As energised as he was, fear gnawed at him. "Joker!"
"Shit! Did you need to shout? You made me spill my coffee!"
"Lock in our destination. Untrel system. Adek."
"It worked!? Altair!"
"Seat's yours, Commander."
"Locking in the co-ordinates now, Kaidan. Now get your butt back on board or I'm leaving without you."
Cortez already had the shuttle hovering, and Kaidan and Garrus leaped on.
Gripping hold of a ceiling strap, Kaidan tried to assimilate what he'd felt at the edge of Terra's mind. The queen's description came back to him: blackened yellow pervades like the fierce red. Sickness. That was what he'd sensed; the burning heat of her pain, and her fevered mind. None of it was good.
"Edi. Notify Hackett."
Adek. They had to save her.
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Shepard felt shaken. She was hallucinating; sensing Kaidan in the periphery of her mind, hearing him, when he couldn't possibly be there. She'd shut it down and pushed it away, trying to retain some semblance of sanity. How ironic, after all the batarians had done to make her believe she was losing her mind on the Citadel.
She tripped, cursing as her hands sank into the soaked ground.
It was a deluge. The air itself had suddenly let go of the warm moisture it had carried, like it was relieved that the cooler night was approaching and it could finally unburden itself of the weight. It had drenched everything within the first five minutes of its downpour, and now the already spongy ground was quickly becoming boggy, making walking even more difficult.
It was the last thing Shepard needed as she forced herself up. The pain in her back was breath-taking, bringing tears to her eyes with each step, and her limbs constantly trembled. The fever was dragging her down no matter how hard she tried to push through it, and every breath she took was either a bubbling gasp or a cough that brought up blood. But they had to be getting close to the base now. All she had to do was keep putting one foot in front of the other.
She needed something to distract her from what was wrong inside her. "Zaliesh. Talk to me," she murmured, the rasping words scratching their way along her throat, and she could taste the blood. "Tell me how you ended up here."
Zaliesh went to reach for her, but Shepard jerked away with a firm shake of her head. She couldn't bear the contact, physically or deeper.
"When the Masters-"
"No. Not Masters." Shepard met Zaliesh's gaze with a sharp one. "They're not superior, and they have no right to enslave you. They're batarians. Nothing more. Understand?"
There was a slight nod. "When the…batarians came from the sky, we hid. We didn't understand what they were; how they could fly without wings. But they called out to us-"
"Wait. They called out? They knew you were there?" That threw up a huge question.
"Yes. They said words of peace. Co-operation. We believed their lies. We made ourselves known. We made ourselves vulnerable. They took our children, and we submitted to the Masters because they said it would keep them safe." Zaliesh clutched her daughter close, carrying her now - the thick air and heat of the day had taken its toll on the youngster. Zaliesh briefly closed her eyes, her brow creasing as she remembered. "We did not know the things they could do. How could we? We saw them as beings similar to ourselves, and Shanti never harm. We were wrong to trust. Naïve. The Mast- the batarians only bring pain."
Normally, this would be where she'd say that not all batarians were like that. But Shepard didn't say it. She just felt hatred.
A soft chirping sounded in the distance, nothing about it suggesting it was anything other than some animal, and Varush returned it. Another Shanti was returning, and this was how they found each other.
Three eventually emerged to re-join them, and there was a palpable level of happiness as the returning Shanti's were greeted by the others through contact. To Shepard's relief, they were all unharmed.
"All our people have returned. The batarians have been led far," said Varush. "Their beasts have been abandoned."
"Thank you." Shepard was continually impressed by the Shanti. They were proving to be resilient people who had gone out there to lead the batarians away, despite the horrific treatment they'd endured at their hands. All to protect her - another outsider.
A soft light became visible through the gaps in the trees, and Shepard held her breath as she signalled the Shanti to stay still while she crept forward for a better view.
It was the base. She could see several batarians guarding the entrance, and knew there'd be more patrolling. That hatred ignited again, unbidden, and she restrained herself from acting on it. She needed to engage her rational side.
As Shepard considered the situation with the distance of a soldier, she finally had to admit the unpalatable truth: she was too messed up to fight her way into that facility.
Looking back at the faces of the Shanti lit by the last soft burnt orange rays of the setting sun, Shepard landed on the pale face of little Sharna, nestled in her mother's arms. If they stayed here much longer, Zaliesh's little girl would be the first to die.
Shepard moved back to them so she could speak safely. A wave of dizziness swept over her, but she squeezed her eyes shut until it passed. "Zaliesh. Take your people far enough away that they can't be caught by stray gunfire. Varush. I need you to head around to the far side and wait until I start firing. I'll distract them. It'll be up to you to get inside that base and get the message out."
"I do not know how to use your communication."
"You can learn." She caught his hand and reluctantly pressed it to her temple. "The knowledge is all in here." She was so sensitive, it was all Shepard could do not to recoil from his presence, but she gritted her teeth through it.
Varush nodded, sadly. You are making yourself their target.
Yes. "I'll hold them off as long as I can. When the shooting starts, more will come out to join them. That's when you go in. You can slip right by them."
But you will be… Varush's soft voice trailed off in her head.
Shepard pulled his hand away from her. Regret kicked her in the heart before she had time to harden it. She didn't want to leave her family, but this was the Shanti's only chance. "Get that message out to Normandy. They'll come for you and your people. Ask Kaidan to look into how these batarians knew you were on that planet."
Then Zaliesh was there, grasping her hand and holding on tight when Shepard tried to remove her. Terra, no! You cannot sacrifice yourself!
You know you need to leave here. Shepard ran her free hand gently over Sharna's hairless head which rested on her mother's shoulder. She wished she could have the chance to do that with her own children one last time. This is the only way. Shepard met Zaliesh's sorrowful look. Please, tell Kaidan I love him, and that I'm sorry I couldn't make it back to them.
Breaking the contact, she turned away to face the direction of her fate, desperately trying to find the soldier inside her.
She was a broken one, but she couldn't falter now. Her duty was to save life, even at the cost of her own, and she would give it gladly for the Shanti.
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