Disclaimer: I do not own the Inuyasha series or any of the characters.

Summary: Kagome overhears an interesting conversation. August 9, 2008.

Collected Works of a One-Shot Junkie

Overheard

It was a beautiful day to take a break. The weather was so fine that Kagome had risen early, despite the opportunity to sleep in, and set off into the fields surrounding the village to collect herbs as a surprise for Kaede. The elderly miko was absent, having travelled to a neighbouring village that had no miko or healer of its own. Kagome hoped that she would be pleased by the gift, and collecting the herbs was actually a very relaxing task. It mostly involved a little light walking and a lot of sitting around in the grass under the warm sun while she plucked wild plants at a leisurely pace. It was quiet and pleasant, and she looked busy so no one tried to bother her.

Kagome was heading back to Kaede's hut now, her basket full and her mood contented. She wasn't sure why Inuyasha had agreed yesterday that they could take today off, but she wasn't about to complain, and neither was anyone else. She could see Sango on the other side of the village practicing with Hiraikotsu, trying to ignore the collection of pubescent boys who had gathered on a nearby fence to watch her with hormone-fuelled admiration. Earlier in the morning, Shippou had run by with a pack of village children, all of them absorbed in their games. Kagome couldn't help but smile at the relaxed mood in the village. Really, she should probably have gone to school today, but she was fairly certain that it was a Friday, so as far as she was concerned, there wasn't much point in bothering. At least if it had been a Monday, she could have felt like she was starting out on the right foot, even if she wasn't going to be there for the rest of the week.

As she approached the hut, she could hear voices inside, apparently having a vigorous conversation in low, agitated tones. She furrowed her brow, trying to hear what was being said as she came nearer. She wasn't having much luck, however, until suddenly, Inuyasha's voice rang loud and clear, sounding very distressed.

"It won't fucking go down!"

The way that Kagome's footsteps slowed to a halt was a reflection of a similar action taking place inside her brain.

…Huh?

"Well, I can see how that would pose a problem," came Miroku's contemplative tones. "How did this occur, again?"

"I told you, I just woke up like this!" Inuyasha hissed back, sounding distinctly aggravated.

"Yes, yes, alright. Well, it is a common problem upon waking," Miroku returned. "I, myself, have often…"

"I don't want a fucking story, I just want it to go back down!"

"Alright, let me think for a moment."

There was a long pause. Kagome was torn between complete denial and the urge to start giggling. Surely she had misheard. Surely they weren't talking about… well, that. But on the other hand, who knew what guys talked about when girls weren't around?

After a moment of quiet, Miroku spoke again. "And you said you'd already tried…"

"Of course I did!" Inuyasha interrupted. "You think I'd be asking you if I could solve it myself?"

"I'm just asking," Miroku said. "It's always worked for mine before."

Kagome was about two seconds away from bursting out laughing, when Miroku said something that nearly made her choke.

"Here, show it to me again."

Wha…?

"No!" retorted Inuyasha. "You just want to laugh at me again!"

"I'm not going to laugh at you," Miroku replied. "Now stop acting like a child and take that blanket off of there so I can assess the problem."

"Keh! Fine," sneered Inuyasha with ill-temper. "But if you laugh again, I'm gonna mess you up so bad it'll make what Sango does to you look like a love-tap."

"I promise not to laugh," Miroku said with the exasperated tone of someone dealing with a recalcitrant preschooler. After half a beat, he amended his statement with, "…again."

"Alright," Inuyasha conceded sulkily.

Okay, Kagome tried to reason with herself. Not really all that weird. They take baths together, after all.

Her jaw dropped at Miroku's next words.

"Do you mind if I try…?"

Inuyasha snorted. "If you think you can fix it, be my guest."

I can feel my brain cells shutting down, Kagome realized faintly. Heh. My brain would rather kill itself than let me keep thinking.

"Ow!" Inuyasha cried. "That fucking hurts!"

"Well, if you'd just hold still…"

"Well, you should know better than to yank on it, stupid! You're just making things worse!"

Miroku let out a gusty sigh of utter defeat. "My friend, I think you're going to have to show Kagome-sama."

Suddenly, Kagome's brain leapt from shutdown to meltdown. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back the truck up! Why is my name getting dragged into this?

"No fucking way!" Inuyasha shouted. "If you think I'm going to let her see me like this, you're an even bigger idiot than I thought!"

"Really, it's not that embarrassing," Miroku stated. "There's no need to be self-conscious. Kagome-sama is a very understanding person."

"She'll laugh even more than you did!" Inuyasha snapped back.

"Inuyasha, Kagome-sama will not laugh at you," Miroku told him. "She's very fond of you. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to help you with this issue."

Kagome's face felt like it was on fire. Help him… with that? Just a minute! That's just… I can't…

Okay, so maybe the idea is a little intriguing…

"I'm going to go find her," Miroku added.

Oh crap! How fast can I make it to the well?

Before Kagome could snap out of her panic-induced paralysis, the woven mat hanging in the doorway of the hut was swept aside, and Miroku came striding out. He quickly caught sight of her.

"Ah, just the lovely lady I was looking for," he proclaimed cheerfully. "I'm afraid that Inuyasha has gotten himself into a bit of a predicament, and it is beyond my abilities to solve. Hopefully you can assist him."

While Kagome was still trying to come up with an escape plan, Miroku had already reached her side and taken hold of her arm. He began ushering her towards the door of the hut.

Huh, my physics teacher was wrong, Kagome thought, contemplating her legs, which she had thought were paralyzed. Apparently they responded just fine to Miroku's overwhelming powers of propulsion. Irresistible force conquers immoveable object. I should write a paper for extra credit.

"Uh, Miroku-sama, I don't think I'm really the person…"

"Nonsense," Miroku replied in a jovial tone. "With all the knowledge from your era, surely you'll be able to do something with him."

Huh?

And without warning, she was inside the hut. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the dimness, not really sure if she wanted to look.

"Don't laugh at me!" Inuyasha warned petulantly, his words slightly muffled.

Kagome turned towards his voice. He was sitting in the middle of the room. Or at least, she assumed that it was him, since it was his voice, but it was hard to tell because he had a blanket draped over his head, completely concealing him from view.

This was just getting too weird.

Miroku grabbed the edge of the blanket and yanked, ignoring Inuyasha's protesting cry and avoiding the snatching claws that tried to grab the blanket back. Kagome stared. Inuyasha scowled back.

"Oh," she said, after a minute. She started to smile, but managed not to laugh.

"I get the same problem," she assured the pouting hanyou. "Why don't you come through the well with me? I've got a straightening iron that'll sort that out in no time."

Inuyasha pressed his hands down on top of his head, trying to hold down the unruly locks of hair that stuck straight up in the back. "But people might see me," he complained.

Miroku threw the blanket back over Inuyasha's head. "You, my friend, are surprisingly vain."

Kagome covered her mouth with both hands and valiantly tried not to giggle, while giving silent thanks to whatever powers might be listening that it was only a nasty case of bedhead, and not something else.

:Owari:

A/N: I'm really sorry. Apparently my brain is set on "naughty" today. Would you believe that I had this inspiration spontaneously while walking downtown to buy a sandwich? And then I got home and just had to write it down, instead of finishing the one-shot I've been slaving over for the past three weeks (but I will finish it soon, don't worry). I rattled this one off pretty fast, so let me know if there are any mistakes. Oh, and visit my deviantArt page if you like Inuyasha fanart (homepage link on my profile page).