I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO FREAKING LONG! I know i suck so much right now but i will finish this story! I just have been so busy, with my computer breaking down, babysitting cats, working at my parents candy store all the freaking time, cleaning all the freaking time... blah blah i'll just let you read about the shopping adventure... yeah... sorry if you think it's short...
Warnings: AU i guess. mild ooc and a naked hidan
"okay, do you like the baggy or the skinny jeans better?" Suki asked Deidara, holding up both pairs to him. Deidara sighed out of complete boredom. They all have been at the mall for hours trying to get good disguises for going out that night.
"Suki is this even necessary? Do we even have to go out un?"
"Yes. It's important that we all aren't ani-social freaks that sit at home all night watchign Family Guy."
"Ugh fine... I guess the-"
"You know what try them both on. That will make your decision easier." Suki said as she handed Deidara the pants. Deidara sighed and headed off to the changing rooms.
"God this is so boring..."
"Don't like shopping much huh?"
"Nope." Musoka sighed, blowing her blonde hair out of her face. Itachi smirked, looking through the rack of shirts.
"hey Itachi."
"What Kisame?"
"How come no one attacked us when we came in?"
"What do you mean?" Itachi asked. Kisame tugged at his cloak.
"Well, we all willingly walked into Konaha in our uniforms and our evil chakra stuff and not one shinobi has tried to attack us. I mean, what's up with that?"
"because Kisame, no one messes with a guy in a uniform."
"Damn straight!" Pein called from another part of the store. Musoka sighed again.
"Could this be anymore boring?" She complained loudly. Kisame huffed.
"Okay, you both are not fun at all! I'm going elsewhere before I catch your boring." kisame said, walking off. Itachi shook his head.
"Gay bastard." he muttered.
"Is Kisame gay or something?"
"I don't know for sure but I think he is." Musoka nodded, watching a certain brunette run up to them.
"Hey whacha doing?" Suki said happily, going through the shirts with Itachi. Musoka rolled her eyes.
"being bored out of our minds."
"You mind."
"Your not bored Itachi?"
"I was until just now when I found this shirt." Itachi said, holding up a black tee that had "Sasuke is gay for Naruto and won't admit it." in bolded white letters.
"Nice." Suki said with a nod. Itachi nodded as well and stalked off to the pants. Musoka turned to Suki.
"Can we just ditch them here and go home?"
"No."
"Wha- why not?"
"Because I actually like all these noobs. So do you like this shirt?"
"No it's hideous and can we at least just go back to the hideout and not go out?"
"Yeah your right it's hideous and no we aren't going to turn into anti-social freaks."
"But-"
"Bitches." Hidan cooed from behind Musoka. Suki's eye twitched, while Musoka's jaw just dropped. Hidan started to strut his way down the area to them, wearing nothing but a tight speedo-thong thing from the swimsuit section. he stopped in front of Musoka and started to strike poses that made a little boy scream and run away with his mom.
"Stupid kid... so anyway, ya like?" Hidan questioned, pelvic thrusting that made an old man have a heart attack while his wife screamed "JYUNICHIRO!"
"... Oh I have to go... be somewhere else..." Suki muttered, racing away.
Thanks alot Suki...
"Hey, CrackyMcRackBoobs I asked you a question!" Hidan stated, jabbing Musoka in the shoulder. She scowled at him.
"Oh sorry. You look like a complete moron. We are just going to dinner stupid."
"I know. I just wanted to suprise you." Hidan cooed, running his finger on her cheek. She slapped it away.
"Since we are in my home village, I can just call someone to send a team of jonin after you."
"Yeah, and then I can break out, steal that bitch you call a friends virginity by brutially raping her then kill her right in front of you!" Hidan said happily, patting her on the head before leaving. Musoka scowled as he left.
"MUSOKA MUSOKA MUSOKA!" Suki called excidedly as she waved her phone in front of Musoka's face.
"Musoka are you looking?"
"I can't see it Suki if you keep waving it around!"
"Okay here, better?"
"... Is that Deidara-"
"In skinny jeans? YES!"
"Um... he's not going to wear those is he?"
"Sadly no he chose the other ones."
"Why sadly?"
"Because, can't you see the way the jeans grip his ass?"
"..."
"... Good job Musoka."
"What did I do?"
"You know that whenever there is a awkward silence a gay baby is born!"
"Your the one who said-"
"Oh God dammit Hidan what the hell are you wearing?" Kakuzu cried out loudly from afar. Musoka and Suki looked over at where the noise was coming from.
"What the hell is it now Kakuzu?"
"You walking around in the store with a thong on!"
"So?"
"It's humiliating to you, and more importantly to me!"
"Oh really? You huh?"
"Yes!"
"Well, it's always about you isn't it!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Your always like 'Hidan your annoying me' 'Hidan your embarrassing me dammit!' 'Hidan you ate my pork pie you bastard!'"
"Well, your the one who makes me say that stuff!"
"Well, I'm only trying to express myself!"
"Expressing my ass! If I could, I would cut your head off ans shove it up your ass because of your embrarrassment to the world!"
"Yeah like my dad never did that to me like 50 times!"
"Oh so your dad treated you like shit huh?"
"Yeah so what?"
"My dad at least hugged me!"
"Well what about your mom?"
"... SHUT UP!"
"Cocky bastard I hate you!"
"I hate you too! Now take your naked ass out of my sight before I puke!"
"FINE! WHO FUCKING NEEDS YOU?" Then there was a loud ripping sound and a bunch of screams. Hidan stomped angerily in front of Musoka and Suki, naked (no thong thingy), muttering to himself. The girl's faces paled.
"I'm going to pretend I never say that..."
"Me too..."
"So did you find everything okay?" the store clerk asked as Itachi was checking his stuff out.
"Yes I did thank you." He said politly. Kisame, who already got his clothes, looked at Itachi's shirt and whispered to Itachi "i thought you loved your little brother?"
"Well, I can't let everyone know that shark ass! So shut up!" Itachi hissed. Kisame back away and Itachi handed the register guy a credit card and got his clothes. Next was Deidara, who put his outfit on the counter, and the clerk started to check him out.
"... what un?"
"Sooo... Find everything okay?" he asked in a weird suductive tone. Deidara raised a brow suspiciously.
"... Fine... Un..."
"Well that's great... So tell me."
"What hm?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Snickers from the Akatsuki. Deidara glared at the guy.
"I'm not gay un."
"yeah I know. I was just wondering why your buying guy's clothes."
"Excuse me un?"
"Yeah. A pretty girl like you should be wearing something sexy and small, even if you are flat chested."
"..."
"Come on Musoka be happy! We get to leave now and go out for the first time in months!" Suki said excidedly, gripping her outfit happily. Musoka sighed and carried hers.
"I just don't get why we couldn't just stay at the hideout and watch bad movies."
"Because that's bor-" Suki was cut off by the screams of a guy up at the front counter.
"What the hell?" Musoka muttered as the two raced up. They stared at Deidara was trying to shut the clerks head into the cash register, screaming "YOU THINK I'M A FUCKING WOMAn STILL UN?"
"DEIDARA!" Suki screamed, trying to pry Deidara off the poor (not really) clerk, while Musoka stood there and laughed like all the others were. The guy managed to get his head out, but his nose was bleeding badly.
"What the hell man?" he asked angrily.
"Yeah that's right! I'm all man un!"
"WELL YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT!"
"MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE OPEN YOUR FATASS MOUTH UN!"
"GUYS SHUT UP!" Suki screamed. Musoka turned to Itachi.
"So what happened?"
"The guy started hitting on Deidara, thinking he was a woman."
"Nice..."
"Who's she?" The clerk asked, pointing to Suki. She answered for Deidara.
"I'm Suki. This is Deidara, my... Guy, friend, person..."
"Guy friend person un?"
"Guy friend person!" She hissed. The clerk looked at her funny.
"So... Guy friend person?"
"Yes, and my guy friend person and I are leaving with my other guy friend persons and girl friend persons. Bye." Suki said, dragging Deidara out as he kept glaring at the clerk.
*Mysterous stalker man!*
"Master, are we going to proceed with our plan yet?" The guy in the grey hooded cloak asked, looking at the shorter man, with a few strands of red hair falling out from under his black hooded cloak.
"No. Not yet."
"Are you sure? Because I think we can nab her now."
"No she's not ready yet."
"Okay. Hey master?"
"What now brat?"
"Do you think this shirt goes with my eyes?"
"Shut up. Your so stupid sometimes."
Muhahahaha really the stalker man isn't that hard to figure out peoples. But I won't admit if your right and stuff. BTW the crackymcrackboobs thing was super random... i have been watching to much naruto abridged and got cocky... hehe (silence) so yeah I hope you like it I will update sooner i promise!