So FF didn't send out a notification when I posted Chapter 19. So if you haven't read it, go back and read that before this chapter. I hope a notification is sent for this chapter. I want to take a moment to thank you so much for all your comments and encouragement. While I remained steady in my vision of where this story would go, more than any other writing, fan fiction is a reciprocal relationship and your words mean just as much to me as the words I share with you.

I managed to sneak in a line from my favorite monster, Cyrus Beene.

Chapter 20: What a Difference a Day Makes
Michonne
Sunday

She was no longer asleep but her eyes were still closed and a smile spread across her face as she remembered Rick coming over the night before. He remembered their relationship. It was the exhale she had been waiting to take. It felt like a movie began to play after being on pause. That's what she prayed for over the past week and it finally came true. Seeing him and not being with him seemed worse than watching him take his last breath. Selfish, she knew but that was her truth. She opened her eyes and turned her head to the side expecting to see him lying next to her but she was alone in their bed and for a moment she questioned if the night before happened or if it was all a dream.

She sat up in the bed and stretched her limbs, listening to the crack and pop of the aching bones of a body that didn't bounce back like it did before the world changed. This rough world seemed to add years to their bodies. Time was like dog years now. She never complained about being old but even with plush mattresses she never fully recovered from worn out prison bunks, sleeping on the ground, and uncomfortable positions in cars.

Her mind went back to Rick. After careful thought, she knew it wasn't a dream. He kissed her. She touched her lips with the tip of her fingers, thinking about those kisses that somehow seemed to synchronously be enough and leave her wanting more. They drank, confirmed by the taste in her mouth, and they kissed some more. Making out on the couch like horny teenagers. She closed her eyes and could feel his hands. On her back. Her thighs. Her breasts.

She brushed her teeth and washed her face before heading down the hall to the second bedroom. The door was open but she was disappointed to see the bed was empty. Perfectly made and without a wrinkle. Did he go home? The end of their night wasn't as clear as when he stormed inside the brownstone and kissed her without first uttering a word. That was a moment she'd never forget like a kiss out of the movies. Right up there with Rhett and Scarlet, Holly and Paul, Jake and Sam.

She went downstairs and found him asleep on the couch. He was curled in a ball without even a blanket fully clothed minus only his didn't leave. That made her feel one thousand times better for whatever the reason. Having him spend the night, even in separate rooms, felt like he was hers again.

She ran her finger over one of his curls. "I missed you," she whispered.

She missed everything about him. The way he rolled over in the morning and spooned her for at least ten minutes, sometimes more, before getting out of bed and starting his day. How he would always do even the smallest things to make her day easier like getting the milk out of the fridge as she made her tea. No man was a god, and they all had imperfections, even one as wonderful as Rick, He wasn't perfect but he was perfect for her.

His eyes fluttered and he looked up at her. "Oh. Morning."

She hated that she interrupted his sleep, but she was happy he was awake.

"Good morning. You could have slept in the bed. In Andrea's old room," she added, remembering he was concerned about her virtue. That was funny to her. So many times her virtue wasn't the last thing they thought about because it never entered their minds while they had sex all over this brownstone. Forget every room. She wasn't sure there was a wall left that he didn't have her pinned against as she screamed his name.

There were so many sides to him that those who didn't know him believed they made him a walking contradiction, incapable of being all those things. She knew better. She knew that's what made him special, that unique mixture that made him capable of leading people in this new world.

He sat up. "Kind of feels like the couch is what I deserved."

She shook her head. "No. You had amnesia."

His need to always be responsible for whatever went wrong was laudable and sad.

"I mean all that happened before." He pulled her closer until she was standing between his legs then ran his hands up and down the back of her thighs.

It sent a shiver down her spine. She ran her hands through his wild curls before bracing herself by placing her hands on his shoulders. "Let's not rehash. We worked through all of that and came out on top. I may not have chosen to fall in love with you; I couldn't help myself. But I chose to be with you and share my life with you. So don't ever think you're putting something on me I didn't willingly sign up for. If I couldn't handle it I'd walk away. I'd cry and it would suck but I'd still walk. Of that, I'm sure. I make my own decisions and that includes what I'll risk a broken heart for."

He nodded. "Noted."

"You're always sorry for something. I hate that you always feel that way. You've worked so hard. It keeps you from being as happy as you could be, should be, deserve to be."

"Funny you say that. After we lost the farm and we were on the road, before we found the prison, I was dealing with everyone being so frustrated and hopeless. I could see it on their faces, especially Beth and Maggie. Those girls lost their home. They didn't know what life was like on the road. I was focused on making people safe. Even the small victories didn't ease that stress. I tried to explain that to Lori. She told me some men aren't meant to be happy. They're meant to be great." He looked up at her. "It's one thing to hear that from someone else, but from my own wife to basically tell me I don't get to be happy and to say it like I should be okay with it just..." He shrugged.

"I didn't know that."

"There's a lot you don't know and that's okay. As long as I don't bring it into our relationship that's all that matters, right?"

"Don't think you can't talk about things."

"I'll remember that."

She smiled. "Want breakfast?" Now he'd make it his business to not tell her about his previous life, just as he stopped doing so shortly after they became a couple. She supposed it made sense. It's one thing to talk about your ex with your friend. With your lover was something drastically, sadistically different. Particularly since Lori was part of their daily lives. It wasn't like she was gone like Mike and she didn't live across town. They were in an enclosed environment, always in each other's faces because the world dictated it be that way. And for the first time she truly thought of how it felt for Lori to see them together. She knew what it felt like thanks to the past week. Maybew Lori wanted her to feel it too.

"Not yet." He pulled her into his lap and gave her a soft kiss on her arm as he stared at her.

"What?" She asked, puzzled by the expression on his face.

"What?"

"You're staring at me."

"I may not know everything but it makes sense. Why we're together. It's like, of course it's you. You're the only one that makes sense."

She smiled because not only was it sweet, it was true. She felt the same. In this world, she had yet to meet a man who came close to Rick Grimes. "You're the only one who makes sense for me too."

"I hope I remember everything but if I don't, I'm committed to moving forward."

"You can do that? Move on with this relationship without knowing everything?"

"I can."

She simply stared at him.

"I have to believe our relationship is based off our friendship, right?"

She nodded.

"Okay then. That's more than enough. Most couples never even have what we had as friends."

A rather obnoxious sound interrupted the moment. He may have wanted to sit around and stare at her but his growling stomach wasn't on board with that plan. They both laughed at the loud sounds from his stomach.

"Some of your things are still here. Why don't you go get a shower while I make breakfast." She climbed off his lap though that's the only place she wanted to be. "Pancakes and fruit okay?"

"Sounds great."

Since the moment on that lookout point, when he told her he knew about the two of them, she questioned if they could ever again be what they were if he didn't regain his memory. Thankfully, he didn't have to fall in love with a stranger, just his best friend. At first thought, it seemed like it would be easier to fall in love with your friend, but maybe that was harder than falling for a stranger.

Just as she placed the plates on the table and poured him a cup of coffee he joined her at the table and showed her a framed picture. "When was this?"

She smiled at the picture of the two of them with Judith who had oatmeal all over her face and down her shirt. "That's the first time we got Judith to eat oatmeal. I had to sweeten it up so I-"

"Mixed in some strawberry jam," he finished.

"Yeah."

"I'm thinking maybe I should go see Denise. Tell her about the memory."

"No specifics, I hope."

"Nah." He chuckled. "After remembering that night, it seems nuts I almost ruined it."

He would always blame himself for what happened but she was just as responsible as Lori. "I should have told you sooner. I mean, I should have told you period. It was stupid going along with that farce."

"Stop beating yourself up. You can't change it so, what did you say? Let's not rehash? Our lives are full of missteps so there's no need to keep a list." He reached over and held her hand. "I'm far from perfect, so the last thing I want to do is keep score."

She nodded with a smile. "What do you want to do today?"

"Listen to you."

"What?" She tossed her hair behind her shoulder.

"You sound different."

"I sound different?"

"Your voice. The way you speak, the way you sound." He grinned. "I like it. You sound girly when it's just the two of us."

She could admit he brought out feelings and actions in her no one else did. She could relax around him and she knew she provided the same comfort for him. They laughed and cried together. Admitted feelings and fears they kept suppressed deep down, sometimes even from themselves. Around him, she wasn't family, a friend or a leader. She was what no one else ever acknowledged — she was a woman. And she felt desired and loved in his presence.

x

"Good book?" He nodded his head toward the book on the coffee table as he sat on the couch after breakfast.

"So far. I waited for you," she said as she picked it up and ran her hand over the cover.

"Waited for me?"

"This is the book we were reading when you got hurt."

"We?"

She smiled. "Yes. See the two bookmarks. M for Michonne and R for Rick."

He took the book from her hand. "The Dew Breaker. What's it about?"

"It's about a Haitian immigrant to the United States and the impact he had on people's lives as a prison guard under a brutal regime."

He frowned. "And what was that book that guy brought you? Wasn't it about the end of the world?"

The book Ezekiel gave her. She nodded and smiled at where he was going as she continued to dust.

"Seems to me we need to find books about happier things. Have we raided libraries? I want Judith to be able to read something more lighthearted than this."

"We have. Don't worry. The children's selection has all the appropriate titles to make for nice reading."

She knew for a fact Judith was intrigued not by death and pain, but happiness courtesy of The Snowy Day and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? being staples in her regular rotation of story time.

She performed her regular Sunday morning cleaning while they listened to music. It was like the soundtrack of her youth when she cleaned house with her mother on Saturdays thanks to the CD collection she found on a run — The Soul of the '70s.

One moment she was bent over cleaning the table as they were talking about the previous night and the next they were reliving it, caught up in a kiss so intense they collapsed on the couch. Cleaning could wait.

"Am I crushing you?" He asked with all his body on top of her.

She answered by lifting her head and capturing his lips. It felt good, physically of course to feel his body against hers, but it also felt good to know kissing her aroused him. She could feel the bulge in his pants.

She pulled back and whispered against his lips. "This reminds me of the morning after our very first kiss."

He looked at her.

"The next day. We sat around talking, kissing, and listening to music."

In Alexandria

She was busy mixing the pancake batter while the music softly played. She was careful not to play it too loud, hoping Rick would get as much sleep as he needed. He admitted he hadn't been sleeping well. It seemed weird. His restless nights made sense outside the walls while they were on the road and even when they first moved into Alexandria, but they had been safe behind the walls with serenity for almost a year. It had been months since the herd and attack. He didn't have to let his guard down, but sleep was possible.

"About time."

She looked up to see Andrea grinning at her as she grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter.

"What?" But she couldn't contain her grin.

"Wow, that good huh?"

Before she could deny what Andrea was thinking she could hear the creak of the third from the bottom step of the stairs. Rick appeared in his jeans and no shirt, hair wet and dripping, looking like the epitome of temptation. She wanted to do what they refrained from doing the night before.

"Waking up without you-" His face reddened when he noticed Andrea. "Oh, sorry."

"Don't mind me. I'm on my way out."

"Why don't you stay for breakfast? The first batch of pancakes will be ready."

"No thanks. Everyone knows the first batch is the worst," she said with a laugh. "Got a training class. Weapons cleaning." She did manage to give eyes to Michonne and bit her fist and fanned herself.

"Did she rush off on my account?"

"Well, if she did I don't mind." She gave him a smile and popped a strawberry in her mouth. Before she could finish it Rick pulled her into a kiss.

"Hmm, good." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "What is that song?"

"Eartha Kitt. C'est si bon."

"You understand what she's saying?" He sat at the counter.

"I do."

His eyes widened and frowned in a mixture of shock and awe.

"Four years of high school French, three years in college, and a semester abroad in Provence."

"I took a couple of years of Spanish. Just for graduation. Never had any interest in learning a foreign language. Besides, this accent doesn't do foreign languages any justice."

She smiled. "I don't know. I imagine this song would sound like no other with that twang of yours."

There was a knock on the door.

"You want me to get that?"

She took one look at him and shook her head. Shirtless, wet Rick was not how she wanted the community to find out about their relationship. "Nah, I got it. Keep an eye on my pancakes." She placed the spatula on the counter.

She opened the door to see Lori standing there.

"Hi. I went over to Daryl's and he said Rick wasn't there, so..."

Michonne nodded. "Hold on."

"Who is it?" He asked.

"For you. Lori."

He rolled his eyes and headed to the door. She contemplated telling him to put on a shirt but he made it to the door before she could open her mouth. She wanted to know what Lori wanted but she didn't want to eavesdrop. She didn't want to be that type. She didn't need to be because she trusted him and he would tell her anyway. It was barely thirty seconds before he closed the door and returned to the kitchen bar stool.

"Everything okay?" She heard herself asking more for the look on his face than anything else.

"Just her using Judith as an excuse to whatever," he said with a shrug.

"What about Judith?"

"She fell but she's fine. Got a cut on the side of her face. Lori will try anything."

"Yeah, but it was about Judith. If she didn't tell you and you saw that cut on her face you'd be upset about that."

"Maybe."

"You're being like you were back at the prison. Don't be that way." In this moment it wasn't about standing up for Lori. She didn't want the tension. This was the start of the rest of their lives. It was time to smile more than cry and fight. Besides, the world gave them enough reasons to be upset and on edge, no need to let manufactured drama stifle their happiness.

He held his head down. "I guess I treated her bad sometimes."

Michonne grunted as she placed the first three pancakes on a plate and topped them with some strawberry preserves and a few fresh sliced strawberries before placing it before Rick.

"You agree?"

She looked up at him. "I do. Eat."

He frowned.

She cocked her head to the side and stretched her eyes. "The truth isn't always easy but I tell it. You know that and you ask anyway. So I have to believe you want the truth."

He had that pensive look on his face.

"What? I was there. You could be real cold. I never liked that about you."

"She brought out the worst in me."

"It scares me. What if I mess up? Is that the treatment I'll get?"

He stared at her for a moment. "You bring out the best in me. Don't you know that? Besides, you'd never do what she did."

"What? Hurt you? No one plans on hurting the one they love. You of all people know that. I'm sure even you can admit she never planned to sleep with your best friend. Don't act like your marriage meant nothing and it was always bad. Bon appétit."

"How could I ever be mad at someone who can speak French to me?"

She looked at him. She wouldn't allow him to skirt the issue.

"Marriage doesn't change people; it just unmasks them. It strips away all the fascination, the novelty, the newness and you're left with who you really are not what you want to be, or even what you want them to be. I feel like this world allowed me to see that what she and I were wasn't what I thought. It was like two different existences. I was living, believing in, wanting one thing and she another."

"What is it you believe in and want?"

He offered her a bite of his pancakes. She leaned forward and took it. Her eyes closed briefly as the taste of warm pancakes and sweet strawberries hit her tongue.

"Now? Just someone who can accept that I'm a monster."

"Rick," she sighed. She always cautioned him against going to the deepest parts of his mind in order to think the worst of himself. Those stygian thoughts were dangerous. The more you went there, the harder it was to come back. She recalled her own dark days. It felt like battling a rip current; the more she fought it the more exhausted she became until she gave into it and let it pull her down. Sometimes she literally couldn't breathe. Hyperventilating from fear and trauma.

"No, I am. I've made peace with that because it's what needs to be done to keep my family alive and also because of you."

"Me?"

"No matter what you've seen me do you never shied away from me. You were ever afraid of me and, more than anything, you never looked at me like you didn't know who I was."

"I've seen the best of you and protecting that can cause us to make choices we wouldn't ordinarily make."

"Those guys back at Gabriel's church."

"I was right there with you doing the same. I'll take another bite of those pancakes please."

They shared his stack of pancakes while she cooked the second batch. Then they shared the second stack.

Michonne was stretched out on the couch, her thighs across Rick's lap. His hands ran up and down her leg creating anticipation and bad thoughts. They were deep in a game of 1,001 questions. It was fun. The small things they didn't know about each other were the nicest to discover. Favorite colors. Blue for him, purple for her. The one food from the old world they wish they could have. He wanted some chicken parm. She could eat mac and cheese. The questions went on and on. Birthdays. Favorite TV shows. Music. Movies.

"What's your last name?"

She smiled.

He raised an eyebrow. "That bad?"

"On the contrary. Smith."

"Excuse me? Smith?" He began to laugh.

She took him in at that moment. His head fell back in a fit of laughter. It was genuine. She could tell the laugh was from deep down in his belly. He always sounded like an old man when he had a good laugh.

"My mom said Smith is so boring so she named me something with a little flair."

"How did she come up with Michonne?"

"It was her last name. Spelled a bit different though."

"Cat or dog?" He asked.

"Cats."

"Why?"

"Cats keep to themselves and don't concern themselves with others. I like that. Admirable."

He cocked his head to side. His eyes got a bit wider. "Oh, you think that's you, huh?" He grabbed her hand and played with her fingers.

She laughed. "You don't?"

"Your nose was always in my business."

"I suppose so but my intentions were pure."

"I know that. I never thanked you for being a friend. Wanting what you thought was best for me."

"What's your favorite place in the entire world?" He asked.

"In the entire world?"

"Paris?"

"No. If it weren't for the rain, I probably would have lived in Seattle. It's beautiful. A friend moved there after college and her house was on a lake. That's a view you can't beat. What about you?"

"Well, I went on a fishing trip to Maine once. That was nice. I felt like I was in one of those small towns in the movies, like Jaws or something. But it was majestic-like. I've never felt so small, so insignificant in a good way than when I was out there on that ocean. It commands so much respect."

If he weren't a deputy, she could see him being a fisherman. Anything that meant not being trapped inside all day.

"What are two of your bucket list items that can still happen?" He asked.

Their fingers intertwined and she stared at them. It felt good to be with him but it felt even better to finally be able to touch him with no limits.

"Wow, that's a good one." She never thought of the things that were still like the past other than making sure they had food and stayed alive. Previous life's norms and adventures didn't seem appropriate to think about in this world. "Curate my own art show," she said. "Have more kids." She never admitted she wanted to have kids, not even to herself. But what she had with Rick and what she knew it would grow to become made her confident a family could be possible in the future. "What about you? Same question."

"Go to an art show and have more kids."

She smiled at him. Thankful that, even if he wasn't sure, he allowed her to have that dream in this moment. But it wasn't a conversation they were ready to have just yet so she didn't want either of them to dwell on it and switched the conversation to something fun. "Ginger or Mary Ann?" She asked the age old question.

He smiled. "I'd love to be able to say Mary Ann. There's something about a guy that likes Mary Ann, you know?" He looked over at her, the beginning of a smile threatening to appear. "Makes you feel good about yourself. Like saying personality is the most important quality in a woman and believing it."

"But?"

"Ginger all the way."

They laughed.

"What was your favorite subject in school?" She asked.

"So you were a nerd?" He smiled.

"A very proud one."

"Gym. I was a wide receiver on the football team. Played a little basketball."

"A jock?"

"No. Average at best but I hung out with the real jocks. Hey, am I keeping you from something today?"

"I have the day off."

"Coincidence, so do I."

They didn't man the pantry or work on the construction crew but they pulled watch from time to time and were basically available day and night, whatever the problem. They pulled their weight. Everyone knew that so neither of them felt bad about lounging on the couch on one particular morning. Besides, this wasn't like the old days of going to work each day. As long as there were provisions and protection and no one died then the day was a success.

"Want to watch a movie?"

"Sure." She went over to the DVDs she checked out of the community library the day before. "Arlington Road, Three Kings, The 40-Year-Old Virgin-"

"Yeah, let's laugh."

She put the movie in the DVD player and settled on the couch, this time opting to sit next to him, her head on his shoulder so she had access to touch him too. He put on a shirt after breakfast, a couple of buttons at the top undone exposing his chest. She slid her hand under his shirt running it up and down his chest, loving the feel of his hair beneath her hand.

They barely made it past the piracy warning before their focus was on each other. It didn't take long before a rush of excitement and vulnerability, because she felt helpless to his touch, took over her body as it did the night before at the gazebo. She landed on her back as he hovered over her, looking down at her. Her heart raced as she saw the look of appreciation on his face as he took her in. She held her breath waiting for him to say something but he didn't. He smiled then descended into another breath-taking kiss as he positioned her body beneath his so he could settle perfectly between her legs.