21.

Setting: Post Season 3

Rating: T

The sun was shining, the birds were singing. It was that cliché spring day, the kind that you were meant to be happy to be alive to experience. And although Tara was happy to be alive, a part of her was missing, and until she got it back, she wouldn't be truly happy.

Jax had been in prison for 6 months. 6 long months. Tara had tried to go on, business as usual, but life without Jax had always been empty, this was no exception. Abel's cries over the baby monitor forced Tara out of bed and she couldn't help but smile as she looked down at his gorgeous little face, which lit up as soon as he saw her. She wasn't sure if there had been any long term emotional effects from his kidnapping, but Abel was clingy now. He'd never been that way before, but now he didn't like having Tara out of his sight. Not that she minded, to be honest, she couldn't stand being away from him either.

Reaching in to the crib Tara took a hold of a happily squealing Abel and carried him over to the change table. Once he was clean and dressed Tara headed into the kitchen to fix up some breakfast for them both. At 8 months pregnant Tara found herself hungry more often than not. Her belly was huge, and she was starting to feel like a house, but every time she looked down at it she couldn't help but smile. At around the 4 month mark Abel had picked up on it too. He'd reach out and touch it every now and then. Realistically Tara knew he didn't understand why he was doing it, only that he was copying what he saw Gemma and Tara doing, but she liked to think it was because he knew his little brother was in there.

"Morning." Gemma's voice called as she let herself in, speak of the devil.

"Morning." Tara called back as she settled Abel in his high chair. "We're just getting breakfast. Hungry?"

"No baby, I already ate. You sit I'll make it." Gemma smiled and Tara shrugged sitting down at the kitchen table with Abel. If Gemma wanted to cook for her, she wasn't going to argue. She'd been coming over every morning all week, ever since her house arrest ended. "How're you feeling today honey?"

"Good, Junior & Abel both slept through the night, so I got some sleep." Tara smiled as she pulled faces at a giggling and clapping Abel.

"That's good sweetheart. But you and Jax are really going to have to settle on a name soon, you're running out of time." Gemma smiled patting Tara's tummy as she placed a glass of milk down in front of her.

"I know, when I go see him tomorrow we'll sort it out." Tara smiled as Abel played with her fingers.

"What do you want to eat?" Gemma asked as she placed a bowl of baby food on the kitchen table for Tara to start feeding Abel.

"Umm. Toast. I'm craving toast." Tara smiled as Abel tried to stick his whole hand in the bowl. Tara grabbed his hand before he could succeed and kissed his little fingers earning a giggle from him.

"Ok sweetheart." Ten minutes later Abel was fed, Tara was eating and Gemma was sitting opposite her with a cup of coffee playing with Abel. "Sweetheart, there's something I've been meaning to ask you about."

"Ok?" Tara asked with a quirked eyebrow. She had a feeling that no good was going to come from this conversation.

"That agent you had the restraining order against, he disappeared. Jax have anything to do with that?"

Tara looked up at Gemma stunned. Of all the things she was expecting her to say, that wasn't it. They'd touched on this subject once before, but she'd never expected Gemma to bring it up again. Her silence must have said more than any denial she was struggling to string together in her head, because Gemma just nodded her head.

"I thought so. Wanna tell me what happened?"

"I already did." Tara spoke softly becoming fascinated with the half full glass of milk.

"No you didn't. I told you mine, you tell me yours." Gemma pushed as she took Tara's hand in hers.

"I was with him in Chicago. He seemed nice. He was persistent. Everything was fine at first, but when he started talking about marriage and kids and telling me he loved me all the time... I had to end it. I couldn't give him what he wanted. I wanted it with someone else." Tara risked a glance up at Gemma, but she was just smiling encouragingly and Tara couldn't help but wonder how much of this story Gemma already knew.

"He didn't take it well. He got violent, started stalking me. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and he was there. It was scary. I got really good at covering black eyes. He... he made it impossible to say no once and that was the final straw. I went to three separate precincts before anyone would give me a restraining order." Tara felt Gemma squeeze her hand and looked up into her understanding face.

"Is that when you came back here?" At Gemma's question Tara shook her head and smiled at Abel, looking at his little face calmed her down and she was able to continue her story.

"No. The RO was working. But by that point all my co-workers knew and although he stayed the appropriate distance away, I would still see him watching me from down the street. I would notice his car following me. I moved, but I still felt like he was watching me. Chicago had been this wonderful, exciting place but he made it so that I was afraid of my shadow, that I hated the city and its anonymity. Nothing felt the same. I just wanted to come home. I always felt safe here." Tara ran her hand over Abel's head and felt her heart swell as he smiled brightly at her.

"I honestly didn't think he'd follow me here, and despite what you might think I didn't come here hoping to get Jax back, or hoping he'd take care of Kohn."

"Don't go accusing me of thinking sweetheart, I wouldn't dream of it." Gemma winked and Tara couldn't help but laugh at the woman who had been her mother figure since she was 12.

"He broke into my dad's house. I came home from the hospital and Jax was waiting for me. He wanted some medical supplies for Cameron's gunshot wounds. Hindsight being what it is, we should have just let that Irish bastard bleed to death." Tara's expression and tone changed at the reminder of Cameron. Her Momma bear instincts rearing up.

"Won't get any arguments from me there." Gemma smiled and waited for Tara to continue.

"When Jax left, I went into the bedroom and I noticed a second iPod on the bedside table. Then he was there, out of nowhere. I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth and knocked me out. When I came to I was the on the bed. He tried to... I managed to stop him, I got his gun and I shot him. I shot him in the stomach." A tear slipped from Tara's eye and Gemma was up on her feet and over beside Tara in an instant. She put one arm around her shoulders and took her hand with the other.

"I called Jax. I didn't know what else to do. He came back right away. I was half naked and Kohn was bleeding in the bedroom. He was still yelling and when he saw Jax he started saying all these horrible things. Jax shot him, in the head. I'd never seen anyone die like that before." Tara looked up at Gemma expecting to see anger, directed at her, but instead saw pride and heartbreak.

"I'm so glad Jax was here." Gemma said as she pulled Tara into her arms.

"Me too." Tara whispered against Gemma's shoulder as she hugged her back tightly. She hadn't realised how much she needed to get that off her chest. Holding it in as her and Jax's dirty little secret was hurting her more than she ever realised.

"I'm so thankful you survived that honey. But I'm so sorry you had to go through it." Gemma whispered as she brushed Tara's hair back from her face.

"Momma?" Abel's little voice piped up from the high chair and Tara turned quickly to see him looking sad and slightly confused. Tara laughed nervously as she picked him up out of the high chair and sat him on her lap.

"Momma's ok baby." Tara kissed Abel on the cheek as he cuddled into her belly. Holding Abel now and feeling her son moving inside her, Kohn seemed like a whole different life. Like a dream that never really was. He couldn't hurt her anymore. Telling Gemma was like finally exorcising the demon. That last little hold he had on her being her dirty little secret was gone. It was out in the open now, if only with Gemma, but putting it out there meant that whatever frayed hold he still managed to have on her was finally cut. Kohn couldn't hurt her anymore. He couldn't hurt Jax, or Abel or their unborn son. He was gone for good. A bad dream that they'd woken from and would never find themselves reliving again. Finally, after almost 2 years, Kohn was dead and buried.

Guys, I can't thank you all enough for all the support. You're amazing and I love you all.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter, and you know the drill. See you in 12 reviews. :D

xx Ally