Chapter 20: Pirate gold

On the way out, I take one of those long, dark leather coats off from a staked hunter, to hide my nightmarish appearance from the easily frightened. My face poses no problem, as those foolish hunters were gentlemanly enough to go for my heart instead. Good for you, empress. Logic dictates, that I should return to my haven as soon as possible, to recuperate. But since when have I been taking orders from logic?! Instead, I decide to visit the dark mage. Ah, but since I'm coming unannounced, I need a present.
"Where to?", cab man asks me. "To the red dot. I need something sweet and cool to gift to the dark one. And something thuggish to go for myself."
It's strange. I thought I would have been frightened enough for a night by that flamethrower, but here I am, right in front of dark mage's door. Even though I had met him not too long ago. I knock on the door, and a dark-haired beauty opens. Right, dark mage also had a pet. We have so much in common! "Uhm, excuse me, you are?", she asks me timidly. "Your owner is my babysitter.", I explain to her. "… What?", she replies confused. "The dark mage and I are bound by the dark bond of friendship. I'm here for his surprise birthday party. Let me in, or he won't smile, and you know what it means, if he isn't happy, right?", I menacingly add. "An acquaintance of Mr. Galliano? Ah yes, please come in."
I follow her inside and leave my present, smurf ice cream made out of real smurfs, somewhere on the floor. When I turn around, I see the dark beauty standing in the corner of the room, shivering. It's not that cold though? Why is she shivering? "Does the dark pet need a coat?", I ask her, trying to be friendly. As I open my long leather coat, she suddenly shrieks, and immediately after that panicky covers her mouth. What the hell. I was just trying to do my good deed for the night. "Ok, I get it. You don't want it.", I grumble, feeling a bit offended. Now then, time to implement that genius idea I just had. I search the kitchen for a spoon and then start to evenly distribute the ice cream on the floor next to the entrance, while giggling like a four-year-old. "Uhm, excuse me, but-", "What?", I interrupt the dark pet impatiently. I'm still a bit peeved about her not wanting to take my coat. "Nothing, I'm sorry!", she hastily replies. If it's nothing, then why bother me? Having finished distributing the whole package of ice cream on the floor, I inspect my work proudly, before taking a few steps back and sitting down on the floor, waiting for the dark one to come home.
After a while, the door finally opens. "What the hell?", dark mage swears, as he's gliding over the floor, struggling to find his balance. "You're walking on thin ice cream, dark mage", I solemnly state. Dark mage is standing steady again, and he first glances at me, then at the ice cream on the floor and then at me again. "Care to explain why you smeared ice cream all over my floor?", he asks me calm and cold, just like ice cream! "Because I'm your friend! Surprise!", I reply enthusiastically. "That means you're one of the cool kids now.", I explain with a wink. "… I see, but I don't appreciate you visiting me unannounced and entering without my permission. I'll overlook it this time, but there will be consequences the next time." Well, that's a tame reaction. I expected him to be more like 'What the fuck? Oh my gosh, it's you!'. The dark mage steps off the ice cream layer and walks towards his blood cabinet, not carrying about the trails of ice cream he leaves behind. "I sent you an email with a picture of Gregory, by the way. Have you received it yet?" Who? Oh, yes, dark mage's little friend. "I was as busy as a bee tonight.", I reply honestly. The dark mage glances at my long leather coat. "With hunters, I presume? They're a pest, aren't they?"
He turns around again, fetches a glass from the cabinet and fills it with the lovely red. "Indeed, annoying little creatures. They should've stayed in the dark ages, where they belong. Which reminds us, can we get a refill for our present? Dark mage's blood is simply the best!" The dark mage halts in his movement, sets down the blood carafe and turns around. "After you found my friend, I will give you some blood, as a reward.", he answers smilingly. Something about his smile feels off. Anyways, booh! Cheapskate!
Suddenly, I have seen enough of him. "Even though I gave you such a nice surprise…", I mutter disappointed. "Since you're not playing host, I won't insist on playing guest. Toodeloo, dark ones.", I bid the dark mage and his pet goodbye. I'm no longer in the mood to fool around, so I decide to return to my haven.
When rainbow saw me, she started screaming. Our pets are so alike!

After waking up the next night, I check my dimension device. Dark mage indeed sent me a picture of his friend. The picture man has black hair (medium-length) with silver strands, wears a black tight-fitted suit with vest and is stroking the cheek of some woman. Ah, the background looks familiar. The empire? Well, whatever. I'm not in the mood for playing hide and seek. My wounds from yesternight still haven't healed completely anyways. I take out my handy dimension device and look at the pictures of the treasure map left behind by daddy. Then I look at the empty wall across of me. Then at the pictures again. Does rainbow have a black marker?
An hour later, I'm standing in front of my counterfeit treasure map, proudly admiring my masterpiece. There's a pagoda drawn in the center of the map, beneath a starry sky with the pointy ends of the roof yearning towards the stars. Two masks are drawn onto the front, one laughing and one crying, and there's a child sitting in the pagoda, on a pile of what could be either gold or dung. I lean towards the map to sniff at it. Smells like nothing, just like money. Empress says, that the pagoda-drawing reminds her of her favorite place in the palace gardens, so I assume it's a Chinese building. And given that it is surrounded by stars, I know exactly where to find it.

A while later we are sitting in cab man's cab, heading to Holly's Wood. Since rainbow said that my legs still frighten her, I'm wearing dark leggins in addition to my maid uniform. I considered inviting smiling Jack to hunt with me for treasures, since he's a pirate and that's what pirates do, but I'm unwilling to share the loot with him. We arrive at the Chinese theater and I step out of cab man's cab. The abandoned building in front of me still looks excitingly menacing. Satisfied with my treasure's location, I head inside. The interior looks even more dilapidated than the exterior, with all kinds of clutter and junk lying around.
A heart of melted stone, victim of its own heat.
Come to think of it, I felt like being watched the last time I walked by this place. I still feel watched, but then again, when do I not have that feeling? Since I'm the protagonist, it's only naturally that I'm the center of attention wherever I go. I'm starting to get used to it. I maneuver my feet between the pieces of rotting wood and broken stones towards the next room, where the play of masks was held. The big screen, which once contained those masks, is in tatters and the rows of chairs in front of it aren't rowing, no more.
What has once been orderly, is now a chaotic, decaying mess. It's beautiful. I should go more treasure-hunting in abandoned ruins.
Now then, if I were a little boy, where would I hide my gold? Maybe under this chair? Or that one? Or… headache? Wait a minute, I know what causes this type of piercing headache! I slump down on my knees and fall forward, like a sack of rice tumbling over in China. My face ends up looking to the side, while I pretend to be as dead as I should be.
A while later, I hear footsteps slowly approaching me. Black leather shoes appear in my vision, connected to equally black suit pants. One of those shoes dares to poke my side, but I'm set on continuing this charade for a little while longer and ignore it. "I got her, boss.", a male voice sounds above me. Oh, you got me? Interesting. The shoes in front of me turn around and I wait a few steps, before slowly getting up, careful to not make any sound, before silently following him.
Foolish little assassin, he didn't even notice my movements, until my fangs were buried deep in his neck. At that point, his resistance was futile of course. I won't let anyone get away with giving me a headshot, therefore I'm sucking him dry. Oh, he tastes exciting! Such a pity that he's already empty. My hands release him and the foolish little assassin's body slumps down onto the ground. I use my feet to turn him around, so that I can take a closer look at his face. Wheat-colored skin, black hair combed back, coupled with a black suit… A mafioso? He looks italic, also he shot me, so he must belong to the mafia. But why would they invite me to play with them? Oh well, since they asked so nicely, I won't refuse. Since they managed to tag me, it's my turn to chase them now, therefore I take the dimension device from the little mafioso, before continuing to search for the golden boy. I will play with them, but only when I have the time for that.
The golden boy hid underneath the big, holey screen. I should have known that. I should have searched there first. To think I spent more than an hour looking for stupid golden boy… But the most disappointing thing is not the time I wasted finding the treasure, no, the most disappointing thing is the treasure itself: a wooden doll, painted golden, of course. I expected golden boy to be more… grand. When I spun the ends of golden boy into opposite directions, he broke apart and revealed his innards in the form of a letter:

Congratulations, you found me…. Or did you?! Hahaha. I'm a ninja. But don't worry, I'll give you a little reward for your effort, in the form of advice: Don't open it. Oh wait. Too late. I forgot, it was already opened. Heh, my bad. Then, how about a piece of information about your dear daddy instead? Sounds good? Ok, so here it goes: he dead. Ha, got you. You already knew that, didn't you? He was dead when you met him after all. Ah, but WHEN did you meet him, hm? But that's for another time and place. For real though, it's the queen's fault. Did you have a hunch it was her? You did, didn't you? Such a suspicious queen… But, who are you to compete with royalty? Ahh… Smell that? The smell of revolution? It's not ready yet, but one day we'll gobble it all up. I promise.

It was the queen?! The laughing one was right then… Anyways, next treasure! Let's see… A cartoon about a barman, who's sliding shots towards a group of cowboys. Furthermore, he's saying, 'That's the last one, boys.' Oh, that one is easy.

"Oh, lovely night, laughing one." "Uhm, sure. What you're doing here, kiddo?", he greets me back. "… Nothing.", I reply innocently and glance at the cartoon on my dimension device. There's an arrow pointing at a square hanging on the wall in the background. Hm… "Anyways, I was looking for you kiddo. We gotta have a talk.", laughing Jack says.
"Yes? Why?", I ask him back. "Not here. Upstairs.", Jack replies and I follow him to the little VIP lounge upstairs, VIP standing for vampire important people.
"Over here.", the laughing one further leads me to an empty table in the corner, away from the others. "What matters does the laughing one desire to dissect?", I ask him curiously. "Hey, I heard you offed the whole group of hunters in the church on your own? Hehehe, aren't you the big shot?", laughing Jack says.
"Actually no, they killed themselves. I was merely watching the show.", I explain honestly. "Hm, sure you got nothing to do with their little fight?", he questions me with raised eyebrows and a provocative grin. "What tickled your curiosity, laughing one?", I ask him, perplexed as to why he's interrogating me.
"Think, kiddo. That Henchman was so easily caught by hunters already smelt fishy to me before, but now that you demonstrated your strength…"
"My awesomeness adds to the fishy smell?", I ask, while tilting my head.
"Childer are weaker than their Sires. If you could deal with a whole group of hunters, why couldn't Henchman do it?", the laughing one retorts.
"I'm beginning to see the painting you're drawing for me."
"Disciplines are harder to use on hunters, not everyone can pull it off. Henchman was always good at keeping a low profile. He did work for that sissy prince from time to time, but he only did odd jobs, nothing political and nothing that would suggest he can pack a punch. In short, no one was really surprised that he couldn't deal with a group of hunters, no shame in that, but now that even his newborn Childe was able to do that… Really makes one wonder what generation he was. Anyways, it's clear now that he voluntarily let himself get caught.", the laughing one explains.
"But why would he do that?", I ask confused.
"That's the big question, isn't it? Letting yourself get caught by hunters on purpose doesn't make sense, unless you're either a) suicidal, or b) running from a greater threat." Yeah, he was running from a greater threat, the queen to be more precise. Golden boy's decoy already spoiled that. But running away by getting caught is such a weird method and resulted in his death anyways. That's just too dumb, I won't accept such an action from my daddy, unless there's a really, really, really good reason as to why getting staked by hunted hunters is the better option.
"If it's the later, you should stay low as well. Before that threat decides it would sleep much better, if you were a heap of ash."
'To cut grass and pull out roots.', empress had mentioned something along those lines as well.
"As for your little church-stunt, I convinced the others to stay quiet about it, you don't have to worry about word getting out about that."
But what if I want fame and fortune, without caring about the consequences? You will just gloss over my glory, without my permission?!
"My awesomeness shines bright like a starry night. I won't be able to escape the admiration of others forever.", I haughtily remind the laughing one.
"You're free to do what you want, kiddo. But remember to keep your eyes open.", the laughing one replies carefreely.
"Maybe. But why does the laughing one care about this many-me? Are you the long-lost lover of my Sire?"
'It's always suspicious, if someone affiliated with politics calls attention to something', empress said before. She's one of the more talkative voices, unfortunately. Those annoying talkative voices…
"Eh, I wasn't close to Henchman. He seemed like a good guy. A bit disinterested in politics, always staying neutral, but who could blame him? Politics are like heroin, only less exciting, yet better at ruining your li- uh unlife."
I agree with the laughing one here, but that begs the question: if he already knows, why is he still taking politics? Is he addicted? Does he need help?
"Just say no, dude.", I advise him.
"Hahahaha. I wish I could, kid. But I'm not gonna let some bootlicking sleazeball with commanding-fetish boss me around, if you catch my drift. That Valois-scum isn't the first asshamster to waltz in here and act like he's all that. The last 'prince' was just like him, down to that slimy blond hair, and look what happened to him. Valois will face the same fate, sooner or later."
"I can't see it. Where?", I ask the laughing one, while glancing around. No sight of a mirror showing the past. Did the laughing one just lie to me?
"Right, not many are talking about him nowadays and why would they? He's long gone. Guess you don't know anything about our dear prince Lacroix then? Ugh, just mentioning him makes me want to barf. Basically, he was the same as Valois, except a little dumber and easier to read. That's all you need to know about him, but if you want more info, talk to someone else. I'm not here to give history lessons."
"That the laughing one hates dwelling on the past is widely known.", I assent knowingly.
"Uh yeah. Anyways, you won't be able to escape the maelstrom of politics forever, kiddo. Sooner or later you'll have to choose a side. Better pick the right one."
How did our conversation flow into this direction? Fascinating.
"What if I refuse to go voting? Or choose to make my vote invalid by drawing a dick on the ballot?", I ask him.
"Look kiddo, the way I see it, you're already part of the fight, a pawn on an invisible chessboard, you just didn't notice. Turning a blind eye to the battlefield, won't make the bullets disappear. You can try and stick your head into the sand, but don't be surprised if someone uses the opportunity to fuck you over."
I love the words the laughing one uses, but I hate what they're saying.
"What do I have to do with anything?", I ask him somewhat helpless.
"I already told you, didn't I? Your Sire fell victim to a scheme. You think that that has nothing to do with you? Hah, don't kid yourself. The moment he sired you, you became involved in whatever it is, that is happening behind the scenes. After all, he did sire you just a moment before he got kidnapped. I wonder why? Maybe that 'map' he left for you has something to do with it?" The laughing one looks at me with raised eyebrows.
"Map? What map? Oh, you mean the scribbles… No, they're just something fun to fasten the pace of time.", I reply evasively.
Don't drag my new favorite pastime into your damned politics of the damned, dammit!
"If you say so."
"Then it must be so.", I complete Jack's sentence for him.
"Are there any other matter left to dissect?", I ask the laughing one. This dissection is starting to tire me. I'm no doctor yet, after all.
"Eh, I said my piece. The rest is up to you."
Good, I take that as a no.
"Choose juicier matters to dissect next time, or else…!", I threateningly bid him goodbye, while waving my finger in his face.
I love the phrase 'or else…'. You don't have to come up with some horrific threat on your own when using it, the brain of your victim will do the creative part for you.
Anyways, there was I? I glance at my dimension device. Oh yes, the treasure is hidden behind a poster or something. Hm, not behind this one, or that one, or there, or here… "What the fuck are you doing here, creeping around like that?", lighthouse suddenly asks me from behind. "Found it.", I exclaim and pull out the hidden envelope from behind a Chop Shopping poster. I open the envelope, only to find a normal picture inside, one of a tired office lady sitting in a restaurant and eating lunch with only her suitcase to keep her company. "Who?", she blurts out, as she looks at the picture in my hands. "Us, obviously.", I answer, while rolling my eyes. Lighthouse's eyes shot back to the picture in my hands, then to me, then back to the picture, then to me again. "You used to be fat?" Rude. "Father would NEVER allow us to be fat!", I retort condescendingly.
"The prisoner's sky uniform merely hid my awesomeness, because father didn't like my femininity.", I explain to her. I don't know why I bother explaining that to her. She's a curvy building herself, she shouldn't need any explanation. Lighthouse snatches the picture from my hands and holds it beside me.
"So, that's the effect of Malkav's curse, huh…", she mumbles. Is that a glimpse of pity I just saw flashing by? How dare she!
"Yes, I admit! We used to be boring! Are you happy now?!", I yell at her angrily and snatch the picture back, before stomping away.
Stupid Lighthouse, meddling in things that don't concern her. Anyways, a picture of mortal-me, taken without mortal-me's knowledge and then left for me by Daddy?
Guess I was a planned after all, just like the laughing one thought.
A smile unknowingly creeps onto my face, as I leave the Last Round.