Chap 21: The Secrets of a Mind

A.N Hey there! I'm just gonna make it sweet and short, but this arc will be just a three parter. And as you can assume, this is part 2 out of 3! I'm not sure when I'll update again after this one… but I'm pretty sure that it will be soon. I promise. Oh yes, and about the Christmas time chapter that few people asked me about… I'm sorry. I just couldn't find an idea to do one. I mean, I did one pertaining to the one that SAO did, but I couldn't find an idea to add in Christmas this time aroun-… I just got an idea to add on to this arc. Joking, I already have something this chapter for you!... Or next chapter. I don't know yet. Now sit back, and enjoy the mental terror that our main character will undergo!... That uhh… That didn't sound as evil as it did in my head. It actually sounded like a good plot idea filled with memories and secrets… It didn't sound as horrifying.

WELL ANYWAAAAAY. Enjoy!

The song for the beginning of this chapter is called "Never Too Late" by… "Three days grace"! I would appreciate it if you took the time to listen to this song for this part!... Now I've said this many times before about bands… but… this song is one of my favorites of all time. Thank you. And once more… Enjoy.

(Jay's POV)

April 7, 2024, Floor 59: Years Wood Forest – Area 4

My lower body was in constant pain. It didn't hurt that bad but when you have knives, arrows, and fists beating into you… it's not a joy ride. Another arrow pierced through my right shoulders tendon connecting it to my arm and I didn't flinch. I was surrounded, 3 archers and 6 melee fighters. They all had the same symbol on them: The Bloody Cross that represented the Followers. A hand to hand combat fighter punched me straight in the jaw with a left hook, and blood spouted out from my mouth… as blood slowly was dribbling down my cheek, I stared at all of them with white eyes. I was tired, my healthbar was down by 1/8- was at full health thanks to my major recovery skill that gives me back 75% percent of my health every 2 minutes when out of a boss room, and this whole time I didn't fight back. My eyes felt lifeless… and I assume that's how they saw me too.

I should probably tell you how it got to this…

I was jumping from tree to tree, just running from the others. I wasn't watching where I was going… and I stumbled upon a group of 10 Followers that were patrolling the forest. They were, and are, all very low level compared to me. I ran smack into a sword wielder, he got mad… but then he recognized me. He called to his buddies and the other 9 came running. He had tried to stab me with his sword; I had grabbed the swords blade with my hand. I broke the sword, and I broke blood, as I broke him. Even though the Gleam was activated earlier… it stopped. But it was in full fledge as my eyes turned white instantly. I had unsheathed the blade on my free arm and I shoved it directly into his stomach, and pulling upwards with it… he went in half. But it wasn't a brutal, bloody murder. It was fast. It just looked like a line that I had cut through half of his body and face.

He had started coughing, I had started… smiling. For some reason I had started smiling, and laughing with myself. I had brought the blade around again, and I slashed through him again. 7 times to be precise. I had made the lines line up so that it looked like there was a target to be aimed at in the middle of his chest. I struck that target so hard, that I broke through the middle with one push. His health bar had long since dropped to zero. On cut 3 I think? I forget. But after I stabbed my blade through his heart… he coughed out something as last words.

"Th-…This is wh-why you… must… die..." His voice rasped coldly and gravely on "Die". And he turned into the particles. I had stopped laughing, my eyes reverted instantly, and I looked down at my arm, the one that had the unsheathed blade. (Not again…) I clutched my arm as it started shaking violently once I realized what was happening to me… again. (I can't be… THAT… again…).

I think that at that moment… I started enjoying it again. I killed in the past in here… in SAO, but I never enjoyed doing it, I just enjoyed the game. But now… me doing it… I think I started liking it.

I had talked to myself in fear "… You-… I can't do this… I can't be doing this… not again… I can't do this…"… My body was shaking all over. I had enjoyed the suffering. What's wrong with me?...

(... Jay… Calm down….) I stopped and looked around myself to see what had said that… nothing was around me. The Followers were almost here, but it wasn't them…

I was afraid of myself… I was alone again because of myself… and I wanted to just die by myself.

But then that same voice came ringing again (…. Please. Calm down. I know what you're thinking, just don't give up! You can't give up!) I stopped doing anything… I heard her voice again. That sweet voice that soothes me. "Y-Your voice… I-… I recognize your voice… Are you… Are you the one th-that talked to me before?... Yu-… Yui?"

(… Yep! Thank you for remembering me!) I sighed a sigh of slight relief, and slight fear. I could still feel myself trembling… but Yui spoke up again (Hey. It's gonna be ok. Just listen to me Jay. You can't give up! Not now! Not ever! You need to stay alive and fight! Please!... For Kirito… For Asuna… for… for… For LILITH!)

"….. But… I-… How can I control what I'm becoming?... I-I-… Before I was trapped here in this death game… I used to enjoy inflicting pain on others… like, I WANTED to hurt them. I'm still a sadist, but I don't want to hurt people… I-I still like it though. But how do I control that?! Yui?" I was yelling at a voice in my head… or… a very intelligent program in the game?... I don't know… but I had no response from Yui at all. I said her name a couple times… nothing. But that's when the group of Followers found me and the remains of their guild mate.

Back to the present…

Fists flying… Arrows piercing… Swords slashing… and this whole time I've been biding my time. Giving myself a reason to kill them. I still don't know where-! ...… A fist just decked me in the face. Sorry, let me continue. I don't know where the others are and that doesn't concern me… I don't want them to get mixed up with the likes of me anyways…

Suddenly I felt 4 new presences near us. 3 were a bit more far away, but one was close by. Suddenly an arrow as bright as the sun streaked by and caught one of the Archer Followers in the back of the head and he exploded into those particles… I think that was when I awoke from my trance.

As soon as every Follower looked towards their newly fallen comrade, I sprung. A fist fighter was halfway punching me so I grabbed his wrist; broke it, and then I unsheathed my other blade and cut it straight off. I saw him go scared with pain and surprise as he looked dead at me. Pun intended because I stabbed through his head as soon as he looked at me. DEAD at me. Eh? Eh? Yeah?- Wh-What? Seriously? NO laughter?... Fine. Be like that. Hmph. At least this is SAO or else this would look like a massacre. This hand to hand combat user died, and the rest looked at me… but not for long. I was already at two of the archers necks… well… I WAS at their necks. Just stubs now. Now they're particles. Eeeeeeee!... Hey, I can make excited noises when I'm narrating too, geez.

I stopped suddenly and I felt all the Followers go cold as I slowly turned around and opened my mouth… "… Hm! Hm! Hm! Another one bites the dust! (Ah!)~ Hm! Hm! Hm! Another one bites the dust! (Ah!)~-" I rushed forward and cut one other fist fighter down the middle and he died "- And another down!~-" I cut his companions limbs off and then through the heart, he exploded into the particles "- Another one down!~-" I cut a woman mace user though her stomach then down and up her spine and she exploded as well "- And another one bites the dust! HAYAYA!~ HM! HM! HM! Another bites the dust!" I couldn't hear the other two scream while I did a spin w the blade and cut them both in half... or it was because I was singing too loud. I don't know!

After the last two died, suddenly I could hear the song playing out loud in my area!... I started dancing. And I gotta admit, my moves are just like my fighting style… Killer! Whoo!" I laughed a bit and then quieted down… "Ok, Lily? That was a good job. Thanks for helping!... And I can hear you up there. Haha!" Lily walked out from the bush at the top of the hill, slid down it, and walked towards me with a certain face that I've seen many times on her: Doubt and regret.

"Thank you for shooting that archer! Now I guess that there are 2 kinds of ways to give head around here! Buduhbupbuhbuh! TSSSS!... Th-That was the sound that the drum makes when you hit the metal- ahh nevermind… What's with that look on your face?"

Lily looked down and said directly at me "… I wasn't shooting to kill… my hand slipped and it went for his… his head… and I killed someone…-" She looked up at me, worried "- How?! How do you kill like that and feel nothing for it?! You just made a game out of human lives right now! Granted it was kind of entertaining… -! B-But that's beside the point! Jay… why and how do you live with that?" I just snickered and said to her with a smart ass look on "… Cause I know when bastards need to die. I don't have the right, but I do it because that's what I feel is right."

Lily just shook her head no with doubt and at the same time… satisfaction. Huh. Weird, but once that was said and done I lifted her head her slowly to see her… smiling. With tears in her eyes. I did a classical double take at this and I stayed quiet until I said to her "… Hello…? What's wrong Lily? You're crying you kno-!" Lily suddenly hugged me. I opened my mouth to say something, but Lily spoke first. She told me while crying quietly and laughing quietly "Shutup!... Just shutup… You had me at hello…"

….. I could easily say that I could've laughed when she quoted that. But, I did something a little different… I hugged her instead. I hugged her tightly and I looked down at her smaller body, did I mention that I've been growing while here in SAO? Yeah. I'm 6'2 now, go figure. I'm even taller than Lana now. Go figure. She's only 6'0, and Lily's 5'9.

Lily lifted her head to look up at me and looked back down at her… and she blushed and closed her eyes as she stood on her tippy toes and… Yes… we kissed. She tasted like Drearic Juice. It was sweet, and tangy by just a touch…

I couldn't tell you how it felt… it just… I forgot where we were. After about 20 seconds we finally let go of each other's mouths. I honestly wanted to marry the girl right there on the spot, but I knew that we couldn't… not right now anyways. Lily then said to me with the happiest smile ever "… I missed you dumbass… why didn't you save me sooner? I wanted another kiss… and you promised not to leave me behind." I only kissed her forehead back and said "Lilith… Im sorry. I wasn't strong enough. But now I know that I can hold on to you and protect you and everybody of my choice with all I've got… I... Umm… Ha-Ha never mind." And I looked away while blushing and smiling lightly.

I heard in my head a familiar little voice say sweetly;

(AWWWWW! I LOVE love! It's so sweet! I wish I could stay here forever with you both-!... Oh no… Jay, go find the others! Fast! Something's wrong… very wrong! The Followers caught the girl with the pink hair!) My eyes lit up with determination as I suddenly grabbed Lily and out her on my back as I jumped to the nearest tree.

: Lily's POV :

"Wha- JAYYYYYYYY!" That was all I really screamed when I was filled with love and happiness at one point… then riding on Jay's back through the tree's at what seemed like lightspeed! Jay suddenly then told me: "Listen, Liz is in trouble. I think the others are there with her, but…" I had a shocked face on but then I tried lightening up by saying "B-But wait! If the other two are with her then she'll be ok! I mean, Kirito's the strongest player I've ever met and Asuna and I are the same level! So slow down and calm down!"… I heard Jay snicker than say "… But if I'm not there to save her… then how will I expand my harem?" I punched him so hard up the back of his head that it seemed like he was unconscious for a second. "Ow! Sorry! I was just kidding Lil! But I need to go there fast… I'm worried that I know what's the problem. I just hope that you won't get mad at me for leaving you behind this time." A nope bomb went off in my head, it went something like this: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. I held onto him tightly and said into his ear loudly "DO NOT DROP ME YOU MOTHER FU-" He turned his head and kissed me half sentence. Thank god he did. He then let go of the kiss and told me "Don't worry, I don't mean right now…" I had the biggest poker face on.

After about 5 minutes of jumping we finally landed in a clearing and this is what I saw: Kirito and Asuna back to back fighting off at least 20 Followers who were a little bit stronger than the ones Jay fought, and Liz over with 2 strong, big Followers that were holding onto her unconscious body and a girl with silver hair wrapped in a bun with a small pony tail but seemed to be around our age saying cooly at Kirito and Asuna "-Just tell me where he is and you can have your friend back! Simple as that!" Jay put me down and finally that's when everyone noticed us.

Kirito yelled "Run!" and Asuna yelled "Save Liz!"… I wanted to do both. The girl with the silver hair suddenly lightened up at the sight of Jay and her eyes looked like they were exploding with love and want and she drooled a little bit… She screamed excitedly when seeing him "AHHHHHHH! JAY! I finally get to meet you!" She tried to jump at Jay but one of the bigger Followers held her back.

Jay snickered and said "Hey Rae, hows it poppin? Im not gonna beat around the bush here, and im just going to say it…

Release Liz and you can take me with you." Rae stopped and smirked devilishly. "Oooooh. You're gonna be a hero? The Savior here to save the girl?" She put her hands on her hips and her expression darkened as she kept smirking devilishly.

And she snapped while saying… "Done."

I froze.

A.N Im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry! I don't have much time, but I wanted to say that ive been way too busy and I've had writers block and too much other stuff! DX but im back and ive no longer got writers block, yay! Ill post soon, that's a promise and im sorry to those who I made wait for so long. I really am. But I hope you're still with me and don't think me an asshole! Now, thanks again and ill cya later!