WOW! I cannot believe how many of you guys like Matthew.
Hes based on someone I know. Its nice to see how much you guys like him.
SO I decided to post this because I wanted you guys to know a little more
about Matthew and who he really is.

Enjoy!

Usual Disclaimer: RM = VA
But Im glad to say I own Matthew :P

Chapter 21
The Truth?

RPOV

So I heard voices, I heard arguments in harsh whispers. And when I opened my eyes, I was blinded by some bright ass light.

"Hey can someone turn off the light please. It hurts like hell"

"Rose?" Lissa said. I felt her grab my hand and give it a squeeze.

"Where am I?" I said groggily.

"The clinic" said Mia.

"And why the hell am I here?" I said in an angry voice. I don't like anything hospital related, and I only come in here when absolutely necessary.

"You fainted" said Adrian.

I didn't want to open my eyes. That stupid light is a piece of shit on the eyes man.

"Why did I faint?"

"Because you caught me"

Matthew?

That's right. He was the one coming off the Ducati. The same Ducati I've been racing for two months before I quit racing. I beat that rider and I wasn't even cocky about it. I know the speed of a Ducati. I've been tricked. And in more ways then one.

I opened my eyes and saw him standing by the couch where Mason and Christian were sitting.

"You're an asshole and a liar" I told him. "You've been back two months, maybe more. And all of a sudden you decide in showing up today? For what? Wherever the hell you were, you might as well just stayed there"

"What are you talking about Rose?" said Christian.

I sighed. "I never told anyone this, but after my mom died, I got into street racing. My vehicle of choice happened to be a motorcycle" I heard Lissa gasp next to me and I know I was in for a scolding and after said scolding a teary apology. "I was up against people who I bet were doing this for a while longer than I have. But when I beat them, I felt better. The speed plus the victory filled the empty hole I had in my heart. Every time I was called out, there was this one motorcycle that was there every single race"

I looked up to Matthew. "Yours" I pointed to him. "You don't think you could've killed the obvious. Because if I know you, you would've known who I already was when we first met on the track. You're disgusting and one big son of a bitch. How long have you really been back?"

I was so mad. If he was with me when my mom died, maybe I wouldn't have gotten into racing. Okay, maybe that's not true. But still he shows up out of the blue, after a year of disappearance, no explanation and decides to meddle in my life, and the worst part is that I didn't even know it.

"Can everybody leave the room please?" I looked to where Dimitri and Adrian were, and I knew they didn't want to. They knew about my street racing, they knew me all inside out. And they knew that even though I didn't want them to leave, it needed to be done. They can't always be there to support me and I'm not a little girl anymore. I don't need to be babied or taken care of being thought as such.

So everyone left and I was sitting up on my bed, with my arms crossed.

"What do you want me to say Rose?"

That right there caused me to think this was more serious than I thought. He hasn't called me Rose since we were six. He came up with Rosalinda when he had some weird obsession with Italy, and that's been my name for him ever since.

But I wasn't going to let it derail me. I needed to know why I suffered so much heart break for longer than necessary.

"I want you to tell me the truth! Why was I sitting here for over a year, without you, with endless tears behind everyone else's back, when you could've come back and spared me from it all?"

"I had to leave and I can't tell you why. No one but me and my parents know. I didn't want to worry you with something that was my burden alone. I didn't think for one second that I'd be to scared to come back and face you. You were always on my mind when I was away"

"That still doesn't answer my question. I want to know where the hell you were and why the hell I had to suffer through a broken heart when I didn't need to!"

I felt like I was on the brim of tears. Matthew was everything for me, and in turn I was everything for him. He knows everything about me. He knows what I had with Mason after my father left. He accepted me anyway. He knew who I was in all aspects of reality. But he broke my heart and I couldn't take it. Even if I said I knew what happiness was when I had my father and my mother together as a family, I was wrong. What I had with Matthew and with the rest of the gang was what made me truly happy.

And when Matthew confessed his love for me, I was finally there. I discovered love and I didn't want to let it go. But when he told me out of the blue that he had to leave and that I couldn't go with him. I was destroyed. I didn't care if my mom had a huge fit that I was going to miss a year's worth of school, I wanted to be with Matthew.

"I've suffered from Depression for as long as I can remember" he said. "I was always good at hiding it, especially when my parents sent to me a therapist during the summers to check me and make sure I wasn't a risk to myself, I still faked it. The medications helped I guess, but still. I had nightmares, I couldn't sleep sometimes, and I wanted to kill myself. One day I couldn't hide it anymore. My parents figured me out when they came to visit one weekend. They were telling me that I needed help. No more therapists during the summer, no more medication, I needed to get to the bottom of my depression. So they decided to send me to what I refer to as 'The Nut House' though it was anything but. My parents wanted to give the best money can buy, but in the end a doctor is a doctor and I ended up at the Presbyterian Hospital, in the Psych Ward for almost six months" he sighed and ran his hand through his messy dirty blonde hair. He used to do it when he was frustrated, or tired, or because he knew that I loved how he looked when he did it, but in the end, right now, he was doing it because he didn't want to keep going. "I was medicated on something low dosage, and seeing a therapist three times a day. I cried, I slept, I wrote, I was getting better. Day by day for six months and I was getting better. Finally." he looked to the ground now, and I'm guessing this story was coming to an end. "After I was released, my parents wanted me to come back to school. But I declined. I stayed in New York up until two months ago. I wanted to come and help you when I heard about your mom. I just didn't know if you wanted me there or not. I know leaving before you woke up, and having a simple note with no explanation wasn't the greatest decision I ever made, and I thought you might hate me. So when I heard that you came back. So did I, but I stayed away from St. Vladimir's. I was scared. So I went underground for a while. Well as much as I can go so my parents don't send a team out looking for me, and I went into street racing. The first time I saw 'Rey' I knew it was you. The rest is history"

Depression?

I've heard that it can be a very hard mental illness to deal with. Especially from a young age. But how could I not see it? We've been together almost all our lives and we were even closer when we became lovers. How ignorant am I to not notice that the man I loved was in trouble and that he needed me?

I felt like I've been swallowed whole in my stupidity. I was mad at him for leaving me with a broken heart, but I'm also sad that he couldn't trust me enough to tell me. I would've waited for him no matter how long he took to come back to me.

"Why didn't you tell me anything? You knew how much I loved you, I'd do anything for you, just like you'd do for me. That was our unsigned deal. I gave you everything of me. Everything. But you met me halfway and left me hanging even more. Even before we were lovers, we were friends, best friends. Who was I to you really if you couldn't trust me!"

Tears were already falling down my face. I couldn't contain them anymore. Matthew was in trouble and I couldn't help him. And my heart was broken because of something so simple. We've been friends basically since birth. I felt unworthy of him in a way. Like I didn't have a right to know what was wrong with him.

"I feel so un-useful" I whispered as I looked away from him, out the window at the dark sky. "You didn't trust me. I loved you and gave you all I was and am and you basically gave me nothing. You hid your real self from me. I don't know who you are anymore"

"I'm still the same Matthew you knew from childhood, and the Matthew you fell in love with. My problems might've been emotional, but the one thing I was sure about was the gang, and what you and I had. I never forgot about you when I was away. You were the one thing that motivated me to get better. I wanted this so I can be with you without any baggage. Our last night together was always in my thoughts. The slow passionate love we made, the declarations of love. It was all in here" He put his hand over his heart and I didn't know what to say to that. I can't give my heart to anyone anymore.

Not when the two men outside hold it completely.

"I can't tell you that I'm love with you anymore. You were gone and I went back to my lifestyle. I changed a bit more and just did what I wanted, not what other people wanted.

And when I arrived back here, I'm captured by the most wonderful men I've ever met. There's no room in my heart for you the way it used to be"

"I know you" he said in that familiar voice I used to love. "I know that I can get back my place in your heart. Because no matter what you say," he walked over to me and stood right in front of me. That smell of his, that little electric spark I feel in the air… "I know what I do to you. I know the real you and I still love her, just like she loves me too"

"You don't know what you're talking about. I needed to change because every day people change to become someone better. When you left, though I was heartbroken, I needed to change because being stuck on who I was, was too hurtful. Nothing changes because you came back into my life." I don't know if I was lying to hurt his feelings or if I was really lying to myself. Matthew is special to me, he knows me, he's seen all of me.

Does my heart want to belong to Matthew again?

Meanwhile, do I want it to belong to him again?

My life is so complicated. Is there anymore I can take before I erupt?

I don't know anymore, but what I do know is I can't let his return take over my life in any way.

"Rosalinda" he whispered. "I know everyone has to change, I know all about change. But I know somewhere deep down you still love me, just as I love you" he took my hand and put it over his heart. He felt so warm and in return it warmed me as well. "This heart only beats for you," he ran his hand through my hair and softly cupped my cheek "and everything I am is for you. I know it'll take some time, but I will win your heart again. I promise"

He looked like the old Matthew when I stared into those honey colored eyes. That promise he made just now reached a small portion of my heart and enveloped it in heat.

"You can make a promise all you want" I took my hand back and stared straight at him, showing him how I feel, what I mean. "I don't know if my heart will ever belong to you when you broke it in the past"

He smiled a beautiful genuine smile and it almost made me want to smile in return. "I can guess your heart Rosalinda, and I think if I try hard enough, it'll forgive me"

Is he right? Would my heart forgive Matthew?

There's to many questions and I don't have it in me to answer them all.

"You can try all you want Matthew. But I don't know if it'll get you anywhere"

He smirked and backed away from me, and opened the door. "Whatever you say Rosalinda" he smirked and walked out, leaving me in an even more confused situation.

When I heard the door open, I looked and saw every one was gone but Dimitri and Adrian.

That's not so shocking.

"Hey" I said to them with a smile on my face.

"How are you feeling?" said Adrian.

"Tired" I said scratching my head.

"You gave us quite a scare Roza"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I hate that fainting shit. I've only done that once. It wasn't really pleasant" Isn't that the truth. "Where's everyone else?" I said.

"They went to do different things. I think Lissa and Mia went to your room to make you more comfortable, Mason and Eddie I think went to get you something to eat, and Christian went to talk to Matthew since he left with him"

"Yeah, I'm guessing I know what he's going to talk to him about" I grumbled.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" said Dimitri.

"I don't know. I mean I got the answers that I wanted but I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. And then he promised to win back my heart. I'm confused. I don't know what to say to that, or what to do about it. I don't want to give him any kind of false hope, and at the same time, the girl in me wants to see him try. Is that a bad thing?"

"In a way, yeah it is" Adrian said.

"I'm horrible" I said as I laid on my back with my arms stretched over my head.

"No you're not Roza. You're confused, you're only human and how you feel will always be a mystery to yourself"

"But I don't love him. My heart belongs elsewhere and him trying to take it is like stealing it out of where I want it to be. I don't think that's fair"

I found myself staring out the window again. The view upside down made me feel like this is how my world looks. Nothing's in place. I don't know what I want anymore and I don't know if that's really true. I contradict myself when it comes to my feelings. I'm one big mess.

No, that's not true. I was happy when Adrian and Dimitri came into my life. Things made sense, and I was happier than I ever thought possible. Yes our relationships were complicated because of the simple fact that I was in love with them both. They've become my weakness in more ways than one.

It was Matthew. His return stirred up things within me that I thought went away. His promise to win back my heart, his deception.

"What am I going to do now?" I sat up as and looked back at the two of them. They were everything for me. One day I'll tell them how I feel. And then when they find out…

"Worry about that later" Adrian said. "because right now, you need to go back to your dorm room and relax. We still have class tomorrow"

"I don't wanna go to sleep. I'm too confused to sleep" I whined.

"Would you feel better if Dimitri and I hung out with you in your room?"

"That sounds like I'm scared of the dark" I pouted.

He snickered and Dimitri laughed.

"Come on Roza. Let's just get you to your room and then whatever you want to do when you get there, we'll do"

"Hey, I'm not a child ya know" I pouted again.

"Maybe not but you're still our princess" Dimitri said, taking a strand of my hair in his finger. That didn't sound like anything someone would say to a child. He sounded serious and I smiled at that one the inside.

"Very true" Adrian said. "You're the princess who's captured the hearts of two princes"

"You guys are cheesy. But it's why I love you"

They laughed and for a bit all was right in the world.

So I decided not to give you guys much of a cliffhanger.
Im also thinking that maybe Ill do a MPOV chapter?
Im not sure yet. What would you guys think about that?
Also how would you like Matthew making that kind of promise to you?
I cant wait to see what you guys will think about what I have in store for
Rose, Dimitri, Adrian, & Matthew.

So leave me some review love!

Peace In Readers

-Kristy