(Original Author's Note Removed, Updated Author's Note Below)
First off, many thanks to many of you who reminded me not to get too wrapped up in writing only for the reader - to write in a way that's most comfortable for me. I've found that it really is something that has to be repeated for me, haha. Over these past few months, I've been reflecting more on my writing style too, so hopefully there will be improvement there with it's speed.
I'm really glad to hear everyone's appreciated the footnotes :D It always amazes me that so many people read them xD I'll try to continue to add good ones with some fun tidbits as well c:
There was a slight mix when it came to Kira's character development. I've got Rhythm in my Soul pointed out that my choice to make her socially terrified (love that wording xD) could make it challenging for me to keep up with it for long periods of time, and I completely agree, haha. The basic consensus from most reviewers is that while the slow realistic take given to her development was good, some are more eager to see that spark to show her growing in character right about now (aka: avoiding her relapsing and going too stagnant). Additionally, I got a great review from averyenture who has personal experience of social anxieties, and that gave me a nice perspective on how I'm writing Kira next to the former feedback. Many thanks! Hopefully the direction I take will suffice for everyone.
Regarding action, there will certainly be more coming up! I've actually been trying to research different fighting styles so I can write those fighting scenes well, haha. (With some FMA on the side -shot-). Been studying a lot of the moves the exorcists use too, so hopefully it'll show. Chapters 21 and 22 should finish off the Intro to the Black Order arc, and then Chapter 23 will get things rolling with Kira's first mission.
As for the story pacing, I've taken the advice of many and tried summarization and slight time-skips (in addition to some measuring with my writing style). I think they've worked, but it's hard for me to tell as the writer when I already know everything that's going on LOL. Some feedback within the upcoming chapters on how I handle that would be nice if possible! Don't be afraid to mention something you're confused about - because if I didn't intend for you to be confused, that means I have to fix something!
Anyway, again, a huge thank you to all of you. Your patience, understanding, and support has kept me writing, and I can't thank y'all enough for that!
~ Chi