Chapter 21:

Lexa's eyes opened and closed rapidly as she tried to take in everything Clarke had produced for her. She knew the Mountain Men could make pictures with their cameras and she knew the Ark had the same technology; maybe even better, but her people had never been able to capture things photographically. She'd seen pictures before. They'd battled the mountain men and discovered some. That was her first time.

Clarke had sent her pictures of different people. Lexa knew they weren't real. It wasn't as if Clarke had made each person pose for a picture. It was more like Clarke had taken a snapshot of her own memory of the person and made a physical picture of it here for Lexa. She even framed them and had them sitting on tables around the house.

Lexa picked up a picture of Aden first. He was standing and she could tell he was in the old throne room. He looked at least somewhat happy. Lexa figured it was from Clarke's perspective the day Lexa was teaching the Nightbloods and Clarke came into the room. She smiled at his image and then quickly it disappeared when she remembered what had happened to him and all the Nightbloods after her death. She sat the picture down before moving onto one of Anya and then one of Indra. Neither woman smiled all that much so Lexa wasn't surprised that in these pictures, they seemed serious. Then, she picked up the one with Titus. He was standing next to Lexa in the picture as she sat on her throne. It was weird seeing a picture of herself and it took her a moment to notice the piece of paper that had been in front of the picture on the table as she stared at her own image and that of Titus, who appeared strong and as her protector.

She sat the picture back down and picked up the paper to read Clarke's note. "I wasn't sure about the picture of Titus and I don't know what Costia looked like or your parents. Maybe you can somehow tell me and I can make pictures of them for you too. I don't know how that would work. I just think it might be possible. I thought you might want to know what's going on here. I sent you another journal, but I thought I would write in it and you could read it. I just… I miss you. I hope you feel less alone having pictures of people you care about."

Lexa knew Clarke hadn't physically written the words on this piece of paper. It was more like her stream of consciousness. She set the paper back down and noticed a picture to the right of the one with Titus. It was Lexa, but she was standing next to Clarke. It was the night they'd bowed before one another. They were standing side by side looking out at the group. She looked next to it and saw herself sleeping on the sofa and remembered Clarke's drawing her from the chair.

She walked to the other tables and saw more. There were more of Indra and Anya and Lincoln and Aden and a few more of the two of them together. Then, she saw the journal and sat down at the kitchen table to start reading Clarke's update. She paused for a moment though.

"There should be pictures of people you care about here too, Clarke." She said into the air and hoped Clarke would hear her. "Ai hod yu in." She let out in almost a whisper. Then, she turned back to the book to read Clarke's words.

Clarke chose those words very carefully. She didn't tell Lexa of being attacked because it would just make her feel bad for not being here to protect her. She told her about the good things; about the bunker being nearly ready and about them having enough supplies to make it despite her not knowing if that was entirely true. She didn't lie. She was just being optimistic. She did talk about Octavia and her missing Lincoln and both of them still having issues forgiving Bellamy for what happened.

It was only a few minutes after opening her eyes again and still feeling her hair wet against her thin pillow that she heard Lexa's voice.

"There should be pictures of people you care about here too, Clarke." Then, a pause. "Ai hod yu in."

Clarke inhaled and exhaled deeply as if in a sigh. She couldn't believe they were able to communicate this way. It still seemed impossible to her, but she pushed that out of her mind since the impossible was rapidly becoming possible these days. She closed her eyes to think about what Lexa had said and when she opened them again, she decided that she likely wouldn't be able to fall asleep for a while so she got up and went to the table and began to try to give Octavia at least a small part of what she was lucky enough to have.

She was up most of the night working on it. It was harder for her because she had to recall everything from her memory and her memory of Lexa had been much more seared into her mind than her memory of Lincoln. She did her best though and hoped that it would be at least something Octavia could hold onto. She knew the girl wasn't one for a show of emotion in front of people unless it was anger so she slid the drawing under her door while she guessed the girl was asleep and then returned to her room to do the same.

Clarke woke later than usual due to her activities the previous night. She readied herself and headed to the comms room to find Wick who was still trying to make the intercom within the bunker work.

"Have we heard anything from Jaha yet?" She asked as she sat in the chair.

"Just that he took off. One update since then at the 3-hour mark, but he's due again in about an hour. The signal's up. He's just waiting for a response." He grunted as he stood from his kneeling, tinkering position. "I am not giving Raven the satisfaction of calling her in on this one."

"Still not working?" She questioned.

"I'll get it. I can handle a ship in space. I can handle a 100-year-old bunker."

"Where is everyone?" Clarke turned around in the chair and looked at giant maps they'd hung up in the comms room to track everyone's progress. They had stuff on the computer, but the bunker had maps of the whole country, the region and the state along with a few city maps so they hung them on the wall and put dots on them to get quick visuals.

Wick looked happy to have a distraction and walked over to the maps using a screwdriver to point things out to Clarke.

"Denver contingent is here. They've still got about a month of walking left. 25 days if they push it. The first group is making good time. Rock Line clan met them a little further out since they were further west anyway. They were further north though too so they took the straight line approach." He motioned the line with the screwdriver to point where Rock Line had met up with Erik and the rest of the Denver group. "They had some signs of radiation poisoning. A few deaths before they started walking so I think they were motivated to catch up and get out." Clarke nodded and he continued. "El Dorado bound people are about 16 days out now. They made pretty good time yesterday. Octavia woke up early and went out with one of the guys to get a few of the really injured Abby worried about."
"She went out alone with the Wastelanders out there?" Clarke questioned and shot up in her chair.

"I told her to talk to you, but she insisted they'd be quick and since they hadn't spotted anyone last time, she thought they'd be okay."

"It's reckless." Clarke announced.

"I heard Abby on the walkie. She sounded desperate. There are a few people that can barely walk and can't seem to stay on horses either. We've got the jeeps. It just seemed like the only option."

"We also have people out there shooting arrows at us and I know we have guns, but if you have nothing to aim them at, they're not really that helpful." Clarke stood. She grabbed a radio off the table and left Wick alone in the room. "Octavia, come in." She said into the radio as she walked down the long, beige hallway.

"I'm here, Commander. How much trouble am I in?" She replied.

"You should have told me."

"You would have said no."

"Yes, I would have. At least until we know if the Wastelanders agree to the summit."

"Well, Abby said they needed help and I couldn't just sit around."

"We could have planned it, Octavia."

"We're already almost there. We'll be back by nightfall most likely. So far, we haven't seen anything and I'm on watch, Clarke. I promise."

"Just get back as soon as you can." She ordered.

"That's the idea. Is medical setup all the way yet?"

"I'll check now, but everything looked good yesterday. We'll need medicine. Make sure my mom gives you what she can to treat them until she gets here."

"I will."

They ended their talk and Clarke made her way to medical, which they mostly just had to clean when they'd arrived. It actually had more beds than they'd had on the Ark and the machinery really just needed a once over from a doctor who knew how to use it, but it all looked like it was in good shape. It looked like it had never been used before. Truthfully, the entire bunker looked like an abandoned ghost town. Clarke made her way to the giant medicine storage room and noticed rows and rows of medication, syringes and other supplies. She recognized some of their names, but wasn't sure if they'd be at all potent 100 years later. She took some old IV poles and moved them toward three different beds just to prepare as much as she could. She grabbed some bandages and tape, some bottles of water from their supplies and some food and set them on tables by the beds. It was all she could do until they arrived and she found out what was really wrong and what Abby recommended she do for them.

She was happy to be taking care of people in this way again. She'd never really planned on becoming anything on the Ark. She'd had training in many areas; all of them science related because that was basically all there was on the Ark. They had other classes, of course, but those classes weren't to help them decide on a profession when they were of age. They were mostly to pass the time. Science was the only thing that mattered in space. They needed people to figure out how to keep the ship up there; not artists who just wanted to draw pictures of the ground, but Clarke had started steering more toward her mother's profession than her father's right before everything happened. There was just something about helping people get better that made her feel like she was actually making a difference.

Octavia returned late that night with 3 sick people. One had been injured and her ankle was severely swollen and had a cut that was clearly infected. For her, Abby had provided IV bags and a round of antibiotics Clarke knew how to administer from her time on the Ark. The second was a man who appeared to be experiencing the initial symptoms of radiation poisoning, but he'd gotten far enough ahead of it to most likely not experience any long-term damage. Still, Clarke worried that she'd delayed too long. Guilt rushed over her as she connected his IV and he looked at her suspiciously. He was from Trikru and had most likely not benefited from modern medicine before Abby started his treatment. He definitely never had the Commander of the 13 clans treat him though. He was older and gruff in his appearance and finally just relaxed enough that she could slide the needle into his arm. She also injected him with a sedative that Abby had sent along and instructed her to use because apparently he was stubborn. Clarke was surprised when Octavia brought in the third person she was supposed to treat and she looked up just to see her placed on a free bed.

"Niylah?" She questioned after making sure the older man was taken care of.

"I told your mother not to send me, but she insisted." She lay back and appeared to be in pain.

"What happened?" Clarke asked as she moved to the girl's bed.

"I was bitten by a trimani tripou snake." Forest log snake. "I was fine and then this happened." She lifted up her shirt on the left side, the side closest to Clarke and she saw the large red rash covering Niylah's side and the small bite marks right in the middle.

"Jesus!" Clarke exclaimed.

"I think you can see why your mom wanted me to get them here." Octavia sounded a little smug, but Clarke was focused on Niylah's rash.

"The snake's normally not poisonous. We see them all the time where I'm from, but I have a problem."

"You're allergic." Clarke told her. "Something in the venom is affecting you differently than other people." She read from her mom's notes. "I've got to hook you up to this and get you medicine. I'll also clean this." She pointed to the bite and sat down the piece of paper.

"I was fine out there. Your mother didn't need to bring me here."

"Don't be stubborn. She did the right thing." Clarke looked up at Octavia's lifted eyebrow.

"Do you need any help in here?" Octavia asked.

"I'm good."

"I'm going to check on Jaha then."

"He called in about 2 hours ago so he's due for another check-in soon. Last one for the night unless something happens. Still nothing yet."

"Well, there wasn't anything out there on our way there or back so maybe the whole thing was nothing."

"I hope so." Clarke told her and wiped at Niylah's wound; receiving a wince from the girl. "It's just alcohol." Clarke almost mocked.

"You're not the one who was bitten." Niylah returned.

Octavia noted the exchange before leaving the room.

"My mom wants you to stay in here for the next few days and I have to chart the size of the rash every 6 hours to see if the antibiotics are working and report back to her if anything gets worse." Clarke reported after reading more from Abby's notes and returning to Niylahs' wound. "Does it hurt?"

"It's uncomfortable mostly. The bite hurts a little."

"I'll give you something for that." She explained.

"No, I don't want medicine."

"Niylah, it's not-"

"I don't need it." She gripped Clarke's forearm. "Just save it for others."

Clarke understood she didn't want to use medicine that could go to someone worse off than she.

"If it gets worse…"

"We'll discuss it again then."

Clarke finished with the wound and bandaged it. She checked on the other patients and made sure they'd all eaten and drank. Then, she laid down in a free bed. She wanted to be there in case one of them needed her. She listened to the near silence as they all three fell asleep; Niylah last and then she heard footsteps and looked up to see Octavia making her way over to her.

"Nothing yet." Octavia whispered. "Jaha said nothing's happened. How long are we going to keep him out there?"

"I don't know." Clarke wiped her eyes. "Maybe another day."

"You staying in here tonight? You don't have too. I think they're okay now that they can just lie down and get some real sleep."

"I should. Just in case."

There was a long silence between them.

"Listen, I'm sorry for not telling you about going out. I just needed to get out of here and do something. We don't have many days left above ground."

"I know. I understand."

"And uh…" She stopped herself and Clarke looked at her meaningfully. "Thank you for what you did; for what you gave me."

"Oh, you don't have to thank me, Octavia."

"No, I do. It's good. It kind of hurts to look at it. He's staring back at me, but you gave him kind eyes."

"You should get some sleep." Clarke suggested to a weary looking Octavia. "I'll keep watch over everyone in here."

"Yeah, sounds good." She turned to walk out. "Oh, Wick's sleeping, but he's got the radio in case anything comes over it."

"Thanks."

"Hey uh, Clarke!" It was Wick's voice that woke her from her slumber and she rolled over in the hospital bed to see him rushing into the room with the radio held high.

"Wick!" She whisper yelled back as the patients in the room looked to be sleeping.

Niylah was stirring and Clarke guessed he'd woken her.

"Sorry, it's Jaha. They sent a signal back." He made little effort to quiet down.

Clarke sat up and took the radio from him, but waited until she was out of medical before she spoke into it.

"Jaha?"

"Clarke, they're here." He spoke into the radio quietly. "There are 10 of them that we can see. They're coming in slowly down a ridge."

"Do you recognize any of them?" She asked.

"They're too far away, but it's possible. One of them is wearing armor I can see from here and it looks familiar."

"Meet them halfway."

"Okay. I'll radio when it's over, but if you don't hear from us in an hour…" He faded out.

"We'll wait for your reply." She reiterated with determination she hoped gave him courage.

"Bellamy knows we're here. He radioed in late last night. I told him what we were doing, but that you'd ordered him to stay there. He will probably want to talk to you if he hasn't tried already."

"Thanks, I'll take care of it. We'll be standing by."

She looked at Wick.

"Bellamy tried to talk to you late last night. I heard him on the radio, but told him you were sleeping. He'll probably try again soon though and he seemed pretty angry."

"I'll deal with him later." She turned and walked back into medical and approached Niylah's bed. "How are you feeling?" She asked her.

"Better. I think I can get out of here now."

Clarke lifted her shirt slightly and saw that the rash was smaller, but only slightly.

"I don't think so."

"You can't really keep me here."

"I'm not going to force you to stay, but you should."

"I heard Jaha made contact!" Octavia came rushing in and noticed Clarke pulling down on Niylah's shirt to cover her back up. "Oh, sorry."

"It's okay. I'm feeling a lot better." Niylah sat up.

"Jaha is meeting with them now. He'll update us soon."

"Unless they kill him."

"Octavia!"

"It's a possibility, Clarke. You knew that when you sent him in."

Niylah made a move to get off the bed.

"You stop talking about Jaha getting killed and you lie back down so I can give you the antibiotics you have to stay on to get rid of that thing." She pointed at the rash on her side and both of the other girls froze.

Slowly, Niylah moved back into the bed and Clarke changed her IV feeling Octavia's stare over her shoulder. Once finished, she moved to their other two patients and gave them what they needed before grabbing the radio, issuing Niylah a warning glance and leaving with Octavia in tow.

"So, you two seem to have gotten close." Octavia stated after they'd made their way a few steps down the hall.

"I guess." Clarke replied absentmindedly. She was starving and was walking toward their food stock without really telling Octavia where she was heading.

"She's nice." Octavia stated. "And she helped us with A.L.I.E. despite what happened to her father."

Clarke stopped in place and looked over at her. She squinted her eyes.

"Just ask me what you want to ask me, Octavia."

"It just seems like you two get along."

"She's a friend, Octavia."

"I know. I get it." She answered back. Clarke wondered if she really did get it though. "Did Lexa know about her?"

"What was there for her to know, Octavia?"

"You guys…"

"Had sex?"

"I wasn't going to say it like that."

"Why not? That's what it was, but no I never told Lexa about that time in my life because I was trying to get away from it. I wasn't exactly proud of myself for things I did at Mount Weather and after. Niylah was nice to me and she could have turned me in, but she didn't and she got herself beaten because of that. She's loyal and she wants peace and she's one of the few people I can actually talk too because I trust her, but it was just sex, Octavia and that's all it will ever be."

"I wasn't suggesting you just move on from Lexa if that's what you thought I meant." She paused. "I understand more than anyone right now that the idea of moving on seems completely impossible."

"My mom suggested it."

"She did?"

Clarke let out a short sigh.

"Yes."

"Then, maybe she's at a place where she's ready to move on from your dad." Her eyes got big. "Sorry. I just meant that maybe she thinks it is possible because she's there now."

"It's okay. I know she is. She and Kane are working their way there, but she's denying it." She started to walk again. "I'll never be there." She said when she felt Octavia join her at her side.

"Love is shit." Octavia stated rather loudly. Clarke couldn't help but laugh lightly at that. "Think about it. There we were just going through our lives; trying to survive this hell on earth and we meet these people and all the sudden…" She paused. "they change everything."

Clarke looked over at Octavia who appeared to be struggling with those last few words.

"Lexa and I…" She struggled too. "You wanna know the first words we technically ever said to each other?" She smiled.

"Sure." Octavia actually decided unsure.

"You're the one." Clarke shared.

"What?" Octavia almost let out a laugh.

"It's funny now, but back then it wasn't. She actually said 'you're the one who burned 300 of my warriors alive' and I told her she was the one who sent them there to kill us, so not very romantic." She explained and Octavia snickered a little. "It's crazy how we ended up being right for each other considering how we began and everything that happened after that, but the only reason I can think of is that… it was just supposed to happen."

"Meant to be?" Octavia let out almost reluctantly. Clarke nodded because she didn't know what to say. "And what are we supposed to do when we still have this whole life here without them?"

Clarke gulped.

"I don't know. Just survive, I guess."

"What was it like when you saw her there; in the City?" It was the first time Octavia had asked that question.

"It's hard to explain."

"But it was her?"

Clarke smiled for a moment.

"Yeah, it was her. We didn't have any time to just… be us. We were too busy trying to stop A.L.I.E."

"Did you get to say goodbye?"

"I told her I loved her and she said she'd always be with me. Then, she ran off to stop Jaha's guys from trying to kill me because that was Lexa." She looked at Octavia. "I said goodbye when it happened… when she was shot." She recalled. "I mean… she knew and I knew and I just…" It hurt her to remember this despite the fact that she could still see Lexa; despite how lucky they were to have these chances to see each other. "She was stubborn to the last second. She tried to convince me that the next Commander would protect me. I should have told her I loved her then, but I didn't and I hated myself for that after…"

"She knew." Octavia assured. "You told her when you saw her again. She didn't say it back?" She questioned curiously.

Clarke thought back to the last time they'd exchanged those words, but she couldn't tell Octavia.

"No, but I knew. I know. I think she loved me before I could even begin to try to love her."

Octavia seemed intrigued by that.

"Why do you think that?"

"I'll tell you that story if you tell me one about Lincoln I don't know."

Octavia didn't seem to know how to respond to that. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down the hallway before looking at the ground and releasing her arms.

"You first."