This is the twentieth chapter to my fourteenth story. Refer to prologue for info.
Disclaimer: These are Stephenie Meyer's characters. I have my ideas, and I'm fitting them in the month or so between New Moon and Eclipse.
A/N: I'm dating this story based on Twilight Lexicon's Timeline.
Bella's POV:
Charlie was at work for an entire day, so the house was empty except for Edward and me.
We hung out all morning and into the afternoon. Activities included talking, reading, watching TV, and my breakfast and lunch.
When time came to head over to Nancy's, I changed quickly. For once, going wasn't completely dreadful. I had Edward and only happy thoughts filling my mind. These last two days had been amazing.
The ride to Port Angeles certainly reflected the happy mood. Edward, who had hunted during my two days with Alice, continued to talk and joke lightly about life. I was smiling and laughing practically the entire way. Barely a thought about Nancy registered.
Edward pulled over and parked right in front of Nancy's house. One glance brought an onslaught of painful memories. Regardless, I stepped out of the car and took the dreaded walk through the garden.
Nancy opened the door mere seconds after the bell rang and we walked inside, taking our usual seats. The room was silent for a minute or two as we stared at each other.
"How is your relationship going?" Nancy began, breaking the awkward silence.
I opened my mouth, ready to explain the last few days, but nothing came out. Everything was practically irrelevant after Edward and I talked about it.
When she noticed I wasn't going to speak, her gaze flicked to Edward, expecting him to explain.
"We had a bit of a mix-up after the last session, but everything is cleared up. We talked about it." He held me closer as he finished. I knew he would always regret his mistake and would try to make it up to me despite my claim it was fine.
"Okay. That's good." She smiled at me. It was a fake smile, and I smirked back. "What about Jacob?"
Great! I knew this would come up. Why did therapists have to take notes? I wouldn't mind if she forgot a thing here or there and didn't mention it. But, no…. she just had to bring it up.
Jacob was a touchy subject. I knew I would never be able to get through this again. After all, I had cried every other time.
As tears began to form in my eyes, clouding my vision, I worked hard to focus on something else; anything else to escape the painful thoughts. The first thing just happened to be the garden. All too willing to escape the conversation at hand, I focused on the theory Edward shared with me weeks ago.
The apple, which represented the "knowledge of good and evil," could represent exactly what I should have known all along. It was Edward, Jacob, and everything happening. I was never lost or confused, I just needed to open my eyes and accept what was happening. Seeing the garden, coming to therapy – it was all for me, to help me understand.
And I was a little flower – a small, little flower around the tree. I wasn't able to understand what had been right in front of me; I was unenlightened, missing some sort of knowledge that would explain everything to me. Now, I finally had it. I finally understood.
Now, I was a rose. A beautiful, fresh, tall, amazing rose. And Edward, my 'love and beauty' was standing, or more appropriately – sitting, right next to me. I had finally found who I was and where I was going.
The bright green vine was my path, just like Edward had interpreted it. Sure it was full of dead-ends, namely Jacob, but I would find the end – supposedly. Perhaps the path wasn't as steady as previously thought. I suppose nobody really had a steady way to walk. Life is full of choices, and this was one of them.
Sitting here, in this 'brown room,' I had a choice. I could choose one way and cry. That would lead me further along what would ultimately be a dead end. Or, I could give up. I could find a way out of this and keep moving forward.
Yet, at the same time, maybe there was a third way, a middle route of sorts. The apple, after all, was knowledge. And if eating the apple brought me here, perhaps I had a choice in what happened next. I didn't have to be sad over the last few months, but I didn't have to forget something either. My choice now, was to be strong and stand tall, or give up and continue crying over what had happened.
I blinked back the tears and found it easier to hide the pain than I thought. "Jacob is my friend," I said confidently. Perhaps I wasn't hiding the pain. Perhaps I was merely accepting it and willing myself to see a different side to things.
Edward kissed my head before getting up, and Nancy smiled at me. I was proud of myself, and grinned back.
"See you on Tuesday," Nancy said as we walked out the door.
Just to let you know (based on Twilight Lexicon's Timeline):
Ch. 20 takes place on Saturday, April 20th.
Eclipse starts on Tuesday (should be Monday), May 14th.
School Finals are June 7th.
Also, I would like to say, despite the confusing things in this story, EVERYTHING is laid out and hinted on. Some things are really vague and you won't get the fact they were foreshadowed, and some things should be incredibly obvious and you should be thinking 'DUH! We all knew that was going to going to happen.' So, if anything is bothering you, just ask, and I will explain without ruining the story too much – I promise.