Okay so unfortunately this will be my last update for a while, at least until I find my rhythm with college, course work and working on my thesis. I hope you enjoy this little update and thanks again for all the reviews and follows I've received so far.
If anyone wants to see what I imagine Ryleigh to look like now, go to my profile and follow the YouTube link to see a cute little vid.
Warning: This chapter deals with the mention of rape.
Quinn kept her head down as she walked through the corridor of the Bureau offices, trying to avoid the pitying, knowing glances of her fellow agents and colleagues. She didn't want to be there, she couldn't be there. But she had to. She had to sit there and listen to how some other team was going to track down the man responsible for attempting to kill her wife while she had to sit on the side lines and do nothing because she was "too close" to the case.
Well screw procedure, screw the law. There was no way in hell Quinn Fabray was going to stand back and do nothing when every day she had to watch her wife suffer through the physical and emotional pain of surviving. When somebody considers surviving an attack a sentence far worse than death, one can only imagine the sinking depths of despair they must be reaching just trying to find solid ground to stand on and stay afloat.
And Ryleigh, poor sweet, innocent little Ryleigh. Quinn could picture the angelic sleeping face of her daughter and all she could think about was how unfair this was on her. She was supposed to at home with both her moms, feeling safe and protected. Learning new things every day and having the security of knowing that whenever she cried, Quinn or Rachel would be there to pick her up and held her in their arms. But they weren't there. Instead it was Judy, or Russell, sometimes even Fran or John and it wasn't fair.
Walking past the open floor office she headed straight for the stairs and up to the conference room where the Quantico team were speaking with Cassie and the NYC team. Placing her hand on the handle of the door she stopped. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and then pressed down on the handle pushing the door open and stepping inside. The second her foot stepped over the threshold, all eyes were on her and it the mask she wore almost slipped, but only almost.
"Quinn, please take a seat," Cassie said as she stood from her chair eying Aaron Hotchner who tipped his head that he had heard and was aware of who she was. Quinn simply nodded her head and moved to take the vacant seat in between Santana and Mike, a strategic move on their part to make her feel as secure as possible, rather than having her end up next to one of the agents from the other team. Once she was sitting, Cassie turned her attention back to Aaron. "Agent Hotch," she said gesturing for him to take over.
Once Aaron had begun talking Quinn glanced around taking note of the other agents in the room. There was a geeky looking guy wearing a vest top, shirt and tie who looked like he just graduated from high school. A buff looking guy with a serious set of biceps and finely trimmed beard who looked rather pensive and focused. Then there was a pretty blonde woman who looked quite similar to a girl Quinn had dated briefly in high school when she first 'came out'. There was also middle aged man in a suit who Quinn knew but couldn't quite put her finger on it with her scrambled mind and finally there was a somewhat eclectic looking woman with a funky looking dress sense. This rag tag team of agents made hers look like the real professionals. Finally Quinn focused on Agent Hotchner who she assumed was the chief of this team.
"As I'm sure Agent July has already informed you, from our research and through extensive profiling by Agents Reid and Rossi, we've concluded that the person behind this crime, is in fact somebody that Agent Fabray has had dealings with in the past. Right now we're focusing solely on people you may have investigate in the past and their families. It's gonna take time but with the evidence we found we're confident that we can get this done as quickly and efficiently as possible," he said. Mike and Santana exchanged looks with one another wondering about the logistics of pulling double duty with the Quantico team working at such a rapid pace. Could they really pull off being Federal Agents and a Rogue Revenge Militia?
"Where does that leave me?" Quinn asked barely loud enough to be heard, but the fact that she spoke at all drew all attention on her. Cassie gazed at her forlornly, knowing that her young protégé was unlikely to be happy with the idea of having little to no part in the investigation. Aaron Hotchner eyed his own team and a head nod from Rossi told him that he knew what he had to do, it was the only way to get the job done as professionally as possible. Placing the file he had been holding down on the table Hotchner turned his attention to Quinn, but briefly glanced away when he recognised the signs of heartbreak and anger that burned in tired hazel eyes.
"On a professional note, realistically we can't have you associated with this case. It goes against Federal protocol. However, resources at the Bureau here in the City are strained so, if you wish, we could gladly use your profiling skills to help with the investigation but any and all field work is out of the question," he stated crossing his arms over his chest as he stared her down, letting her know that he was in charge, not Cassie or anyone else. Quinn allowed a short sarcastic laugh escape her as she glanced down and then looked back up at her superior.
"So what you're saying, is that I'm being reduced to desk work," she replied, narrowing her eyes as she stared at Hotch who turned his head away for a moment to prevent himself from reprimanding her. He was aware of the situation, he knew Quinn was hurting and that her biting tone was purely stemming from her personal dilemma. He didn't want to have to bench her, but if she pushed his buttons further than she was doing at that moment, he would have no choice.
"Agent Fabray, you know full well that in our line of work we can't allow personal emotions or traumas to effect of duty to the job, not at the cost of the victim….." Before he could continue slammed her hand down on the desk and flew to her feet, startling some of the people sitting next to her. "THAT VICTIM IS MY WIFE!" she bellowed, hot angry tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Santana placed a placating hand on Quinn's wrist, hoping it would somehow anchor her and keep her from going completely ape shit at the man.
"Quinn…," Cassie tried but it was pointless. The younger blonde was more than riled up and Cassie could understand why. In their line of work a victim is supposed to be face or a name that means nothing, that holds no emotional attachment. A victim is a part of the job, a part of the mystery that needs to be solved. A victim is not supposed to be a friend, a family member or a husband or wife. When emotions come in to play, lines blur beyond recognition and the ability to differentiate between lawful justice and personal justice becomes all the more difficult. She feared that maybe those lines weren't so blurred for Quinn but rather were being disregarded completely in favour of wanting to inflict as much pain and misery as possible.
"You guys might be able to sit here and look at this as just another case. But for me this is my life. My family has been destroyed by this," Quinn said through the lump forming in her throat. "I spent days wondering if my wife was going to live, if my daughter was going to lose her mother and every day since she woke up, I've had to see the pain in her eyes every time she remembers what those…," Quinn stumbled and faltered in her speech as her tears began to get the better of her, "what those, those men did to her. She will never be the same again because of this and so help me God if I find who did this you can forget about locking him up because there won't be a body left to incarcerate."
There it was, the very thing Cassie had been afraid of and sneaking a glance at Aaron Hotchner she saw Quinn's chance at working alongside them gone out the window in a matter of seconds. The other agents in the room remained silent, nobody wanting to risk adding fuel to the already burning fire. Hotch looked every single person in the room in the eye, ending with Cassie before finally settling on Quinn again. Clearing his throat, Hotch unfolded his arms and took a seat, pulling the file to him and opening it up.
"As of right now Agent Fabray is not a part of this investigation," he said. Looking up from the file he trained his eyes on the blonde in question who was still standing. "You can leave now." Quinn inhaled a sharp breath through her nose and turned on her heel ripping the door open sending it crashing against the wall as she stormed out of the conference room and down the steps, missing the inquisitive eyes of the people around her. Just as she was walking past the kitchen down the corridor the sound of footsteps running after her echoed around her.
"Quinn hold up," Santana called out, stopping in her movements when the blonde turned to face her. "If you're asking me to go back there and swallow my pride and apologise forget it, I have more important things to worry about," Quinn said before turning to walk away. Santana scoffed. "That's not why I'm here," she said, and that made Quinn pause. Turning around she looked the Latina square in the eye. Santana stepped closer to her and lowered her voice so as not to draw the attention of listening ears that may be around the office.
"Me and the boys, we want to catch the bastard who did this just as much as you do," she replied. Quinn's eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed as she thought about where Santana was going with this. "What do you mean?" she asked. Santana swallowed and glanced around making sure there was nobody around. Leaning into Quinn she lowered her voice almost to a whisper. "I mean, whatever you need, we got your back," she trailed off, leaving Quinn to think about what those words implicated. Eventually the blondes' brain caught up with her and with no words she nodded her head in understanding and watched as Santana walked off back towards the offices.
2 Days Later….
They sat in silence as Quinn drove them to the clinic outside the city limits of New York. To say she was weary would be an understatement, her wife was still in the early stages of physical recovery from her injuries, so much so that Rachel was prescribed a strong painkiller to help her cope with what she was feeling now that she was no longer hooked up to constant pain relief. Quinn wanted to turn around and bring her wife straight back to the hospital, but she couldn't.
It had been Rachel's decision to leave the hospital so soon. She couldn't deal with the endless hours of being confined to one room with nothing but the dark thoughts and memories swirling around in her head, taunting her, working tirelessly to push her over the edge, and it scared Rachel. It scared her because she didn't know what she was capable of doing if she were to live with them any longer. A thought she had failed to share with her wife though she had a feeling her highly observant, profiler wife was clued in, the fact that Rachel was back on anti-depressants the big indicator.
The combination of Rachel's fear brought on by her struggling mental health, and reluctance to go home knowing the personal responsible was still out there, and Quinn's growing need to make everything better, brought them to their one and only conclusion. Rachel needed professional help. She needed to get out of the City and focus on herself, to find healthy ways to cope and to deal with the mess in her head. Quinn was uncomfortable with the idea of being apart from Rachel, but she didn't voice her reluctance to let her go because she knew that going to the clinic would be beneficial to her wife and all Quinn wanted was for Rachel to get better so that they could piece their family back together.
After Mercedes had delivered the news that Rachel's blood work all came back clean and that there were no signs to indicate a pregnancy she had arranged for someone from the rape crisis department of the hospital to speak with both women and after assessing Rachel's needs, she recommended that the brunette sign in to the Save Haven Wellbeing Retreat Centre, a place that specialised in the rehabilitation of women who have suffered from sexual abuse.
The centre was located in a secluded place that offered many outdoor activities like hiking trails, horseback riding facilities, water sports like canoeing. There was also a small town a couple of miles out where residents could go for lunch or dinner when their families visited, or where they could visit the farmers market and pick up groceries and treats and things. Every resident had their own room and bathroom but all other living quarters were communal. It was the perfect balance of privacy and helping to reintroduce residents to the outside world.
When Quinn looked up ahead she saw the turn off for the centre and pulled off the main road and down the dust track. Five minutes later they were pulling up to a huge white lodge with beautiful lush green lawns surrounding it and big over hanging trees, perfecting for sitting under in the shade for reading. Once the car had pulled up at the entrance, Quinn killed the engine and turned to face her wife who was looking out the window towards lodge. Glancing over her shoulder she gazed into the car seat to find Ryleigh wide awake and sucking away on her pacifier.
Turning back around Quinn reached her hand over the centre console and laced her fingers with Rachel's bringing their joined hands to her lips and placing a kiss on the back of her wife's hand. Rachel responded with a half-hearted smile, but Quinn didn't take it to heart, she knew it wasn't because of her, but the situation they found themselves. Taking a breath, Quinn released her seatbelt. "You ready?" she asked. Rachel glanced down at her lap then peered into the review mirror to find hazel eyes that looked so much like her wife's staring back at her and somehow, in the those eyes she found the courage to push forward.
"Yeah," she said as she removed her seatbelt, trying not to make any sudden movements that would cause her pain. Quinn climbed out of the car and closed the door behind her, walking around to the trunk of the car and lifting Rachel's bag out and swinging it over her shoulder. Closing the trunk, she then moved to the rear passenger door and opened it up. Reaching inside she unclasped the restraints of the car seat and gently lifted her daughter into her arms. By the time she had done all of that Rachel had managed to climb down out of the SUV and make her way around to the other side to her family.
"Welcome," a voice called out, drawing their attention towards the entrance where a tall blonde was walking towards them, a beaming smile on her face and a cowgirl hat on her head. She was wearing a sleeveless plaid shirt and denim shorts and a pair of converse on her feet. At first Rachel thought she was a resident until she saw the name badge pinned to the woman's chest. Brittany Pierce Rachel read as she glanced back up find bright blue eyes smiling at her.
"You must be Rachel, I'm Brittany. I'm one of the counsellors here at the centre," she said holding out her hand to shake, then frowning when she realised that Rachel couldn't shake that hand because it was wrapped in a cast, so she switched hands and shook Rachel's left. Quinn looked her up and down. She wasn't being judgemental, she just, was expecting someone a little more, professional looking, though maybe that was the idea, to keep the atmosphere relaxed for the patients and to make it feel more like a retreat than a treatment facility.
"So what exactly do you do here?" Quinn asked, trying to get an idea of what Brittany's role was. The taller blonde smiled and turned her attention to the agent. "Well mostly I take the residents out to work with the horses and I work with them in group activities. I don't focus too much on any of the deep stuff, that's for the real counsellors. I'm just here to be a friend," she explained, looking pleased with herself. Quinn couldn't help but fall for the girls' positivity and enthusiasm, maybe Rachel wouldn't be so lonely with Brittany around.
"Who's this cutie?" Brittany asked as she turned her attention to the little girl resting against Quinn's chest. Little hazel eyes turned to meet blue and in an act never before seen by either of her mothers, Ryleigh smiled at a complete stranger. This in turn brought a smile to Rachel's face as she watched Brittany engage the tiny tot. "Sorry, I'm forgetting myself, let me show to you to your room" Brittany said as she gestured for the girls to follow her. Reaching down for wife's good hand, Quinn clasped their hands together and guided Rachel into the lodge.
They walked down the brightly lit hallways, catching the attention of some of the residents who gave them genuine smiles, smiles of welcome. There was no need for questioning looks. They all knew why everyone was there to begin with. After turning down one more corridor, Brittany stood outside an open door and held out her hand in a come on in manner and allowed the girls to head inside. "I'll let you guys get settled. I'll be in the music room down the hall to the left when you're ready," Brittany said, speaking mainly to Rachel as Quinn would have to leave soon, not because she wanted to, but because it was policy.
Rachel slowly, lowered herself to the bed, taking short sharp breaths on the way down. Quinn placed her wife's bag down and then carefully lay Ryleigh down on the bed, Rachel watching over her to make sure she didn't somehow worm her way off the bed. Opening the bag, Quinn made quick work of putting away all of her wife's clothes so Rachel wouldn't have to. It has hard enough for the brunette to move let alone do physical labour, even if it was only light stuff. Quinn couldn't help but wonder how her wife would bathe properly, though she had been assured help would be at hand for any help Rachel would need.
"Alright, that's it," Quinn said, as she tucked the bag under the bed out of sight. Taking a seat on the bed next to her wife, she watched on with a joy in her heart as Rachel and Ryleigh 'talked' to one another. The brunette paused in her conversation with Ryleigh and turned to face her wife, biting on her lower lip as she contemplated her next words. "Will you guys be okay?" she asked, hesitating before glancing up and looking her wife in the eyes. Quinn reached up a hand cupped a tired pale face in her hand.
"We'll be fine," Quinn reassured, pressing her lips to Rachel's gently, not wanting to push any boundaries. "What about you?" Quinn asked, needing the confirmation, the reassurance to give her the strength to walk out that door and face the drive back home without her wife. Rachel reached up her hand and placed it over the one cupping her cheek and leaned into it. "In time, I think I'll be okay," Rachel answered honestly, and that was all Quinn could ask for. Leaning in, she placed one last lingering kiss on Rachel's lips and then pulled back.
Standing up, she helped Rachel to her feet and then with practiced ease, lifted Ryleigh up into her arms and prepped her to say goodbye to her Mama. The little girl wasn't really sure what was going on, but recognising that her Mama wanted a kiss, she turned out her cheek and waited for it, squealing a little when she received it and smiling, brining tears to both her mother's eyes. Quinn reached out a hand and wiped away her wife's tears then her own. "You better hit the road," Rachel sighed, hating the idea of saying goodbye but knowing it had to happen.
"Okay," Quinn nodded with tears still brimming in her eyes. Reaching she cupped her daughters hand in her own, allowing her to wrap her fingers around her thumb. "Say bye Mama," she coaxed, waving her daughters hand. Glancing back up at Rachel she gently pulled her into a hug. "We'll see you soon. I love you." With that Quinn made her way to the door but before she could leave completely, a voice stopped her. "Quinn," Rachel called after her. When her wife turned around, Rachel placed her hand to her chest. "I love you both too." And with that Quinn smiled and made her out of the room. Both women hoping that the retreat help get them both back on the right road.
Once Quinn stepped back out into the sunlight she pulled the keys from her pocket and pressed the button on the remote to unlock the doors. Stepping up to the rear passenger door, she opened it and with as little rustling around as possible, slipped Ryleigh into her car seat and secured all her safety restraints, double checking them just to be sure. When she was done, she closed the door and walked up to the driver side and climbed in, sticking the key in the ignition.
Just as she went to turn the car on she paused and rested her head against her hand that was on the steering wheel. There in the silence of her SUV with nothing but the soft grunts and mumbles of her two month old daughter, her tears escaped her, falling down her cheeks as the realisation that she was going home without her wife finally sunk in. After a few moments passed, in which Quinn let out all of her built up emotions, she pulled her head back and sat up straight, brushing away her remaining tears and fixing her appearance. Finally, when she had managed to collect herself, she turned on the ignition and slowly pulled away and headed for home.
Inside the centre, Rachel sat alone on her bed. Turning to her bedside cabinet, she picked up the picture of Quinn and Charlotte that she had packed to bring with her and started at. Reaching up a hand she traced a finger along their faces and then hugged the frame to her chest as she released a sob, the reality of the situation hitting home. Before she could get too caught up inside her own head, a knock sounded against the frame of her room door. "Hey, Rachel," Brittany said, threading carefully, waiting for some form of acknowledgement.
Rachel wiped at her eyes with her good hand and looked up, the frame still resting against her chest. Brittany took a step inside, her hands resting in the back pockets of her denim shorts. "I was about to head out and take care of the horses. Would like to come with?" she asked, not wanting the newcomer to dwell too long inside her own head. Rachel glanced down at the picture for a moment and with a deep sigh, she nodded her head and slowly stood up. "Yeah, I'd like that," she replied in a hushed voice. With that she placed the picture down on her bed and followed the bubbly blonde outside to the stables, hoping a moment of activity would sooth her restless mind.
"Schuester you listen and you listen good," Hummel threatened as he stood inside the theatre run by Will and glared down at the man who was sitting in one of the chairs on the front row of the theatre seats. "My boy Phil needs an alibi and you're gonna give it to him. Anyone asks he was working security here all week, understand me?" he said, watching as the man sitting in front of him swallowed hard and squirmed in his seat. "Burt you know I can't do that. I can't lie to the authorities, I could lose everything, my job, my theatre," Will responded, his voice trembling as he spoke.
"You mean my theatre," Burt corrected him as he pointed a finger in Will's chest. "You seem to be forgetting whose money bought this joint and pay for its upkeep. I gave you everything you have I can just as easily take it all way." Will shook his head disbelievingly, but one pointed glare from Burt warned him that he wasn't messing about. Before he could even think about responding Burt spoke up. "And if that don't seem like a big enough incentive to do as you're told I'll have one of my boys show that pretty red head of yours a good time." Will blew up at this and stood up puffing out his chest only to have Burt shove him back down into his seat.
"I ain't messing around Schuester, you do as I say, or it's bye bye pretty happy life," he warned. With little other option but to concede to what Burt was saying, Will hesitantly nodded his head and watched with a heavy heart as the man who had the potential to ruin his entire life walked out of the building, leaving nothing behind but a promise Will was positive he would carry through with should he ever feel the need to.