Part Twenty-One: Dangerous Territory

"Hey, Fiona, can we talk?" She's sitting on her bed distressed over something Steve did. I would ask but she doesn't look like she wants to talk about Steve. She calls him six times a day to yell "Fuck you" into his phone.

"Yeah, have a seat." She pats the spot next to her. I sit down and she gives me a cigarette. "What's on your mind?"

"How do I get a boy to kiss me?"

"Your new boyfriend won't kiss you?"

I shake my head. "I'm not even sure if he likes me. It's complicated."

"Sounds like it."

"So what do I do?"

"I never thought I'd have to talk about boys with one of my brothers. Have you tried kissing him?"

"Won't work," I say. I stop there to let her know I am not at liberty to discuss why.

"Okay, try licking your lips when you know he's looking at you. It will draw attention to your mouth. You could eat something in front of him and hold it on your lips longer than usual. I don't know, Ian. I've never really had this problem."

"Thanks," I say, "I'm sure whatever this is with Steve will get better."

"Doubt it. Gallagher's aren't so lucky in love."

"Tell me about it."

I leave her to her moping. Debbie and Carl are playing with Liam in the hallway. They're too young to talk to about this. I am still mad at Lip. He's still mad at me so that rules him out. I could talk to Mandy but she always asks me about the guy and one day I'm probably going to end up telling her because I hate keeping it a secret.

I have the day off and I have no idea what to do about this. I want Mickey to kiss me. I need Mickey to kiss me. I could talk to V. She's always good for some advice. But then again, maybe Kev would be better to talk to.

I haven't spoken to either of them much since their foster child ran away. It would be best for me to leave them alone. I walk down the street toward the bad neighborhood hoping to find a way to convince Mickey that he should kiss me. It needs to be his idea. He won't do it otherwise.

I bump into Officer Tony getting ice cream at the park. He seems to be on break. He's standing beside the ice cream truck counting his money.

"Hey, Ian, want some ice cream?"

I nod. "Two chocolates," says Tony.

"Thanks," I say when he hands me a cone. We sit down on a bench together. I take a moment to stare at his crotch.

"What's on your mind?"

"How do you know I have something on my mind?"

"I know you," says Tony.

"Maybe you can help me," I say. Tony's a long shot but why the hell not?

"What's up, Ian? Are you in trouble?"

"No. I just want to know how to get a boy to kiss me."

"I'm probably not the best person to ask."

"You're a man. You've kissed women. What makes you want to kiss them?"

Tony gives me a sappy romantic sonnet about women's lips. I almost fall asleep listening to it, if he didn't look so damn good in his uniform I probably would have. At least I can stare at him while he bores me to tears.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"I sort of have a boyfriend and he won't kiss me. He'll do other stuff, but not that. He thinks it's too gay."

"Have you tried directly asking him to kiss you? Try kissing him. If that doesn't work then break it off. You want something he won't give you. I have to get back to work. I'll see you later, Ian. And don't stay around here too long this isn't a safe place."

"Thanks," I say.

I watch Tony walk away. His ass is his best feature. I suppose the only person left to talk to is Mickey. I've only just forgiven him over the whole friend thing. I guess it was a stupid thing to get mad over, in hindsight.

Mickey is doing a drug deal in the roughest part of the neighborhood when I find him. He has a gun on him. I get stares from several guys as I walk down the street. This might have been a terrible idea. Mickey spots me and does a double take.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asks angrily.

"Who is this fucker? Is he going to rat us out to the cops?" asks the man Mickey was selling drugs to. He pulls a gun on me. I put my hands up. Mickey pulls out his gun and pushes me behind him with one hand.

"He's with me."

"Man, too many fucking white boys in here," he says as he throws Mickey the money, puts his gun away and walks away with a swagger in his movements. "You keep your mouth shut, Red."

"I thought he was going to shoot me," I say with adrenaline pumping.

"He was going to shoot you. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Does this look like the best fucking place for that?"

"I've been here before with Lip. We used to come here looking for Frank back when we gave a shit."

"I don't know what to do with you."

He walks in front of me. When I don't follow he stops. I catch up to him. He keeps his gun where he can reach it and keeps me close. I like him protecting me. It's nice. I reach for his hand. He won't take it, but he touches it with the back of his own.

"I am working on your playlist," I tell him.

"Would you shut the fuck up?"

"Sorry," I say. The same guys who were staring at me before are still staring. One of them puts his hand on his hip. He has a gun. They all do, probably several. I stay close to Mickey. This was a bad idea.

"Don't talk again until we're out of this area," Mickey whispers. I keep my mouth shut. Mickey knows what he's doing. Even though we're in dangerous territory I feel safe. I see a cop car zing past us with its sirens on. It's Tony's car, I recognize the number.

He doesn't stop. He knows if he does it will draw even more attention to us. Mickey pushes me in front of him and I keep moving. We walk. We don't run. We keep our faces forward and don't look around too much. I do what Mickey does.

When it's safe Mickey shoves me against a wall. "You could have gotten yourself killed back there. What the fuck were you thinking? Don't follow me on any more of my drug deals."

Mickey is staring at me intently. I lean in and come close to his mouth. He pushes me back with his "U-up" hand and I nearly hit the wall.

"Don't even think about it. I'm too fucking mad. Go the fuck home." I stop trying to kiss him and look at him. He's red in the face and shaken up. He can't stand still. He's very alert and still clutching his gun.

He releases his grip on me. He won't look at me anymore. He pushes me in the direction of my house. When I don't budge he pushes me harder. "Go home, Ian. Fuck."

He called me Ian.